Lying on your Resume general

>>1025749
Tell then you worked for the CIA, but you can't talk about any of it since it's classified.

Fucking apply for a job you qualify for. What the fuck. Most agencies put a person in charge of hiring who knows to look out for BS and test for it. Don't be a retard.

>>1025774
>Fucking apply for a job you qualify for. What the fuck. Most agencies put a person in charge of hiring who knows to look out for BS and test for it

Have you even had more than 5 interviews?

The person hiring literally knows nothing, it's some HR drone or some other retard who seems to never check or even ask technical questions.

>>1025776
>someone who's never made it past the first round

>>1025776
Depends on the organizations you work for. I've been a supervisor before and I'm the second interview. So yes, you made it past the initial filter, but the person deciding if you actually get hired or not? I'm looking you up on what public records I have access to, I'm looking up your facebook and other social media you're too dumb to exclude, especially your email and phone number if you didn't choose new ones...you have to show experience in your interview.

And your references better be damn good.

>>1025749
>run a small web business
>sometimes friends work for me
>they go to get "real jobs", put me as their past work experience
>no one ever calls me to confirm

>>1025788
>>someone who's never made it past the first round

>First round
>For shit-tier entry level jobs

I'm not talking about a fucking investment bank. I'm literally talking about some shit retail or slightly better job most people on this board who are students would want, or even an entrylevel job like junior developer which requires pretty much nothing.

>>1025789
>Tfw literally no socialmedia

:^)

>>1025794
If you're talking shit retail or a job that requires nothing...provide them with such. I have denied people for being overqualified because it's clear they want just a few hours here and there and are likely to split once they hit their financial goal or get more hours at their other jobs that pay more.

It's literally so much easier to just not lie, seriously. If it's a job that requires nothing, then anything you do provide is awesome. If you just have a shitty personality or look like a mistake, then yeah, they'll find something else to blame it on and not hire you. There's no benefit to lying in this case.

I work as a street artist and i exaggerate sometomes when im on drugs.

>>1025822
>It's literally so much easier to just not lie, seriously. If it's a job that requires nothing, then anything you do provide is awesome

Seems untrue. Most shit jobs I've applied to have required experience, at least on paper and very few hired me out of how many I applied to. Maybe that's just how it is regardless of lying but I think if I sweeten it up a TINY bit it should help, right?

Not some crazy experience but maybe just half a year in the type of business as what you're applying to so they are enticed to hire you since you'd need minimal training.

>>1025822
The problem of shit retail jobs is that if you apply to one, you compete with all the other people who have mcjob experience.
A couple years back I worked a fast food job and we'd get about 100 applications a month. The people with absolutely no experience were never the people who get hired.

The big spike in unemployment during the recession meant that a lot of folks desperate for work were going for entry level jobs. It's a problem in the overall economy, that entry level jobs are too competitive for people with no work experience to get. It's why folks 18-22 have ridiculous unemployment rates.

>>1025831
My experience working at mcjobs is that all they'll do at most is call your reference(which obviously, should be managers) to ask if you worked where you said you work.
You could get away with giving out a friends phone number or something like that for a mcjob.

>>1025831
Again, it depends on what it is. If it's something where you need to have the basic experience (food service, operating a POS), you can't BS that. Not to mention the first thing I'm going to ask is why you didn't stay at job X for more than 4 months. And if you say that no, they're not a contactable reference, you bet your ass I'm not believing you.

>>1025833
The big thing here is what do you have to offer. OK, so you don't have experience - but are you out of school? Are you single (Legally we can't ask about your kids, but if you offer it up in the interview that you're single, that helps)? Would this be your only income? What proof do you have of being able to follow orders? Are you willing to take "enrichment" training? What about weekend/closing shifts? What about holidays? Any of those things will stand out to me - more than someone with experience, if you're available and essentially make work your sole devotion, you are incredibly valuable to me. I'll gladly take you over some guy with 2 years experience who can only work M, T, R, F, 8-5, but he needs to get out early on Thursdays for class and he visits his family every holiday and he can be "on call" for weekends but he never picks up his phone and then he calls out claiming that his kid is sick...

Not to mention if "pay is based on experience" you're cheaper to hire. It's shitty but true. The recession did a lot, but goddamn, those with no background who NEED the job, I'm going for those guys.

>>1025838
>>1025848
Fuck it senpai I'm just going to lie.

I think I'm going to learn and remember a bunch of buzzwords related to dental work and become a Dental Assistant/hygenist(whatever it is).

Seems like relatively easy work with decent pay.

Go big or go home nigga. If i aint getting hired anyway might as well lie... Nothing to lose tbqh?

>>1025852
Oh god no - those positions do pay well, but you -need- to know what the fuck you're talking about. You're going to waste so much time if you make it to the first day of work and have no idea about the lingo and what the tools are actually named.

Sit with your discomfort and channel your efforts towards something that will work for you. You will get a shit load of nos, but you only need one yes.

>>1025853
>You're going to waste so much time if you make it to the first day of work and have no idea about the lingo and what the tools are actually named

Couldn't I just do as much research as I possibly can online and fake my way into it?

It surely cannot be that hard that I can't spend 2 weeks learning all the lingo and tools...

>>1025848
Ah true. So if I graduate next summer and my interview is "I have experience in mcjobs and construction but none in this field. I'm a single male and I'm willing to work night shifts, weekends and holidays."

What kind of work is it where experience can be a hindrance? I've known a lot of folks who get in that trap of "Need to have experience to be employed and get experience." though that trap actually seems more intense at unskilled jobs.

>>1025854
There's a metaphor I use a lot where I ask if someone would wait until the day of a recital to touch the piano for the first time. They of course say no. Then I ask if it would matter if they read a lot of books, watched a lot of performances, and listed to a lot of music. They say it might make a tiny difference, but no. The only way for a person to play the piano well is to first play it HORRIBLY. Then practice so you play TERRIBLY. Then SHITTY. Then ACCEPTABLE. Then DECENT. Then OK. Then GOOD. Then GREAT, etc, etc, etc...

All that time you channel into lying and something you'd be starting from ground-zero on (assuming no knowledge) - man, if you put that effort towards putting in applications at other jobs...versus you maybe MAYBE make it to your first day, at which point it becomes totally clear you've bullshitted and then you're right back at this point, but having wasted 4-6 weeks.

I had a fake job on my resume. Used it as filler while I dicked around playing video games after college

>repaired computers
>wrote it to sound really professional
>got asked about in most interviews
>mentioned I made OK money, but see full time employment as a better route
>in reality I made $100 in 2 years and only ran it for a month before I stopped.

I also had a resume without my degree on it that job me 2 jobs when I was building up a work history to get into a better job. One found out and was cool with it since I was giving a shit for $10/hr. The other never knew and told me I needed to go to college so I could do more than dig ditches and do fractions on the fly.

I liked digging ditches.

>>1025794
So I gather you're interested in the narrow slice of job worth lying about that your employer won't care enough about to have you thoroughly vetted.

>>1025852
Eh that might work.

>>1025866
Depends on what state you're in. I'm in Washington and if you're even remotely connected to a healthcare provider profession, you need a credential through the state. HUGE pain in the ass, but major deterrent for malpractice since the database is public access.

>>1025863
>All that time you channel into lying and something you'd be starting from ground-zero on (assuming no knowledge) - man, if you put that effort towards putting in applications at other jobs...versus you maybe MAYBE make it to your first day, at which point it becomes totally clear you've bullshitted and then you're right back at this point, but having wasted 4-6 weeks.

This cannot be true.

There are absolutely jobs where you either learn on the job or barely do shit.

Many junior developers literally just learn the framework/language on the job and then copy-paste shit from stackoverflow for example. I've done an internship where I spent 70% of the day doing what I do when i'm relaxing at home... And people have full-time jobs doing that...

Srsly senpai there's gotta be a whole bunch of pencil-pusher jobs where you don't do anything but make reasonable money... There just has to.

>>1025869
Internship is different - you're essentially slave labor there. I'll take plenty of time to train an intern since once they get that one task I've assigned them, I'm going to just give them all the shit that I get, knowing they can perform it well. And they're short term.

There's no such thing as easy money. You have to factor in the pressure of producing results from nothing. Even in selling drugs, there's a trade-off.

>>1025869
A huge number of jobs are shit that used to be done by people with only high school education, but now almost everyone has a fucking degree so having a relevant degree is a requirement for jobs that don't need it.

Even that junior dev role requires a CS degree or diploma because there are so many qualified people already.

Over 65% of my country's workforce has some kind of post secondary education and more than 25% is degrees.

>>1025875
>>1025880
This tbqh.

I refuse to believe even 10% of the entry level jobs that require a bachelors degree, truly "require" it. Either they have unattainable standards for shit pay or most of it is bullshit.

>>1025869
Internships are different since you are basically vouched for through a school and you're cheap/slave labor.

To get even an entry level technical job you basically always have 4 interviews:

Recruiter/Technical/Behavioral/Final

And in the Final you usually end up meeting a half-dozen people over 4 hours. If you're going to lie: rehearse your story ahead of time, and work out all the details, because people do compare notes.

it works on dating sites

>>1025789
>your references better be damn good.
My "reference" was my boyfriend pretending to be a manager.
All those things you listed are pointless. and all tier companies HR will for legal reasons only say the time you worked and if you were fired or quit

Every office job:
>must have office experience.
just bullshit 2 years and have your sister fake the reference. I know people that got in that way. I hate them all because I am genetically incapable of willfully lying
>>1025897
>entry level technical job
where do you think you are? Even those you can pad your resume a little with old history

>>1025866
>So I gather you're interested in the narrow slice of job worth lying about that your employer won't care enough about to have you thoroughly vetted.
what part of entry lvl do you guys not get??
every job is like
>must have experience.
Of course if you actually have experience or a technical skill you don't NEED to lie, but for every entry level job you fight with people who do.

>>1025955
>>1025959
s-so is there hope for me to get gud job by lying?

What are some nice easy responsibilities and made up companies to put down?

I almost kind of want to make the most ridiculous fake resume just to see if I can get a job from it or not, at least as a fun meme experiment.

File: image.jpg (439KB, 1230x862px) Image search: [Google]

439KB, 1230x862px

Anyone have any ideas on how to bullshit my linked in to make it look better for internships and building connections?

Thanks.

:(

>>1025848
>we're looking for people who are willing to work 10+ hours every day including weekends, including unpaid training, for a low 5 figure salary
Sounds amazing, where can I sign up?

>>1025749
Lying is never good, but everyone embellishes