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Fake Work Experience
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I'm past the point of thinking about it for years on end and this month I am going to go ahead and make the plunge.

I'm a horrible liar, and hate lying, but things are dire and my time is running out/has already run out.

I have an AutoCAD certification from community college, an associates in Business, and an Associates in English, and I've been unemployed for the past 2 years, and before that nothing about 10/hr crappy retail jobs. Being 29 and bald, its no longer fun to work at the mall or barista or some high school shit, its soul crushing.

I just ordered a new computer, so the plan is install AutoCAD, refresh my memory and do some tutorials to remember how to work the fucking program, and contact my buddy in Colorado. He's quick on the fly, and can come up with some shit, but I'll either need to say the company went out of business, or make up a fake company, or pay one of those companies that fake your experience for you even though I've heard they are mostly bunk. I'm having a hard time finding companies recently out of business though.

Nobody will touch you without experience, and I know I can do the job.

If anybody has any ideas or stories about them faking experience post em'.
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Just an idea

Look for companies thatve merged. Either as a takeover, or ones that have moved overseas (Ireland I think is a recent country companies are rebasing in). A lot of companies have been doing that to avoid tax exemption. You can try to play the victim card I guess.

It all depends what you job you want tho
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>>1024711
>I have an AutoCAD certification from community college

You do realize knowing how to use a pencil, doesn't mean you know how to draw shit?

What do you want to draw in AutoCAD?
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>>1024723
Thanks for the idea, I will look into that

I originally went for mechanical engineering, but dropped out for a girl and other reasons (bad mistake) but still had enough to get the certificate.

>>1024733

I want to draw mechanical stuff, its what I went for.

And I do know how to draw shit, I've just never been able to put it to use. Even people who did do the full 2 year degree are working in restaurants and sams clubs and shit. Shits depressing.
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>>1024743
>dropped out for a girl
kek

>>1024711
Either this is some next-level troll-shit or you are a complete retard. Why do you think this is the best course of action? The solution is simple. Find a manufacturing job that has the position you desire, but lack experience in. Start at a lower level position and work you way up, all the while compiling a portfolio of your work.
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Take a job you have worked, preferably at a place that has gone out of business. Stretch your time working there by months and name some tasks that you technically didn't do but could have been involved in.

Don't go much further than that
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>>1024770

You've gotta be trollin'

If it was that simple, I'd have done so. I was recently turned down for a night auditor position in a hotel. If I can't get that, I can't get an entry level manufacturing job. I'd love assembly or anything like that but they are in high demand and my crap credentials don't cut it.

>>1024789

Well, I'd love to do that but the tasks I've done so far include bullshit like snackbars and cashiers. Nothing to really stretch that could benefit an AutoCAD position.
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>>1024911
You need to apply to more jobs. You're not trying hard enough. The economy is pretty good right now, and there is a lot of demand for low- to semi-skilled labor at the moment. Now is really your best chance.

And like the other guy said, you can fib a little but don't outright lie. Some people can get away with it but you probably won't.
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try your luck getting a CNC machinist job, start from the bottom
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>>1024711
>just ordered a new computer

You can admit that all of this is just an excuse to buy a new gamin peecee.
>gotta spend money to make money
>i need this laptop for school

Most companies that use auto cad use the 2d suite only and are running old versions on toasters, whatever you 'practice' on the 2016 version will be irrelevant.
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>>1024911
>I was recently turned down for a night auditor position in a hotel. If I can't get that, I can't get an entry level manufacturing job.
Different jobs require different kinds of people. The kinds of people who get hired for hotel desk jobs aren't usually the same kinds of people who get hired for manufacturing jobs. Take myself as an example...I've tried to get blue collar work numerous times but I am always turned down, whereas it is pretty easy for me to get office/indoor-type jobs.
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>>1024911
See >>1024973
It is that simply. You don't need credentials for jobs like this. They hire druggies, drunks, and retards. If you can't get hired for these positions you are a dumbass and should stay at out of the industry entirely.

Wtf are you thinking, that you are just going to jump right into a AutoCAD position after you graduated with no portfolio? It's you fault for wasting time and not compiling a portfolio while pursuing you education.
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>>1024711

> I hate lying

you gotta fib and charm people in the real world anon. its just the way it is.

LIE ON YOUR RESUME. A LOT. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. THERE IS ALMOST NO RISK, THANKS TO HR LAW.
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>>1025544

This. Op, learn to lie. Lie to customers, your boss, to women, your friends...

Lie lie lie until you have so much money and so much pussy you don't have to lie
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>>1025544
what and how do i lie on my resume as a recent college grad? lie about internships? how do you fake those
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>>1025544
What do you mean HR Law?
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>>1025552

Look,

If you want to learn to lie properly, you need to believe the lies yourself.

You need to drill it into your brain that you had an intern ship at oracle that paid 30k$yr- then when questioned about it, no tells, no stutter, no sweating, no wringing your hands,
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>>1025557
i'm confident in my ability to speak the lie, my concern is would they attempt to contact the workplace of my alleged internship?
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>>1025581

No- you're fucking up.

you are so confident in the lie- it's true.

Since it's the truth, there's nothing to worry about.

You get it now? Feel it. believe it- it's the truth.

When they hear that conviction in your voice, they wont every check
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>>1025557
>>1025597
Good tip.

Just treat it as if it's 100% the truth.

>Oh you called and they said they don't have record of me working there? Well that's impossible because I worked there for TWO SUMMERS! Are you sure ___ is correct? I worked under a Mr. Pepe

If you say it confidently enough and practice it well enough they will eventually not even care about checking it, even if they originally had and it was unsuccessful.
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>>1025555

Well no business wants to be sued. A business can be sued if they provided information to an employer that lead to a person not being hired for a job.

So when a company calls another company that a person listed as a reference, the only information the previous employer can divulge is:

1) Did the person in question work for you?
2) What dates did they work for you?

Usually they won't say anything beyond this.

Most employers don't even check references anyway. And if they do, you weren't going to get the job with a truthful resume anyway, so you took a chance (with no negative consequences) at winning something that was a guaranteed loss anyway.

get it?
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>>1025832
>Most employers don't even check references anyway. And if they do, you weren't going to get the job with a truthful resume anyway, so you took a chance (with no negative consequences) at winning something that was a guaranteed loss anyway.

>Tfw no balls to lie in a big way

H-help senpai. I understand lying in theory but how do i actually do it to get gud job?
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>>1024711
Why not try applying for draftman position at some architecture firms? There is always a need on autocad slaves making those asafp.

All you gotta do is just trace the goddamn drawing. Most firms would help you grow by sending you to BIM/3d visualizations courses certs.
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Do not lie

This is what happens when jobless neets come here to give advise.

Integrity is everything in business. One lie turns into two and they become easier until one day you over do it and you get caught, then boom your character is compromised. NEETs brains cannot comprehend forward thinking like this... These bottom feeders can only think in the moment for instant gratifications.
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>>1026058
>He tells the truth at job interviews

The hiring manager is lying about the requirements. Why can't we lie about having them?

Some of these are fucking retarded. "1 year of experience minimum but less than 2.5"... For $13/hr. Yeah no I'm going to lie because that is dumb as fuck.
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>>1024711
Let me tell you, my dad does this freelance and he charges 40 an hour. The work is highly tedious and backbreaking and he can only charge for productive hours if that makes sense. He has to give an estimate or bid on a project with a secret bid and pray.

You could blow guys like my dad away and increase your salary by charging say 20hr. Or dollar a square foot.

Increase your salary as you get clients but raise your prices fast because you'll only make about 15k a year the way the business works at 20hr.

Don't want to do a job for every construction company in the area and then double your prices.
Thread replies: 26
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