Should I kill myself /b/?
I've had severe depression for about 8 years and I just can't take it anymore. Valentine's Day was the last straw. Plans went to shit like they always do and I'm so tired. So very tired. I have my parents and an 11 year old sister which is the only reason I've stayed for so long but I don't know anymore. I haven't been on /b/ in a while but I don't know who else to turn to anymore. I push my girlfriend away cause she doesn't seem to give half a shit despite all the texts I don't get a phone call or anything so I'm assuming she's not really all that worried.
Nah man, you didnt spawn into the game just to play half way and quit. You've got a gf, which is more that most people. You're doing good OP, sometimes its gonna hurt like hell, but just see it through.
I've been in a similar situation and I'm just now getting out of the other side after having been depressed half my life (I'm turning 30 this year).
Drugs saved my life. Even though they sure as hell made it worse at times.
Hang in there anon.
Why don't you stop being such a little bitch? If you got a problem, get off your self-pitying ass and do something about it. Don't be a fucking downer who's a burden to all the people around you. Yeah sometimes plans go to shit, so what? Just shrug it the fuck off and try again. Fucking drama-queen
Just one of my friends lol. Pic was far too prime to not save it and give him shit about being a child molester
You act like I haven't thought about that for 8 years.
I want to either die or take drugs until I can't feel. Both aren't healthy choices.
Yeah I know I'm being a little bitch but I have a lot of problems and a lot of them aren't in my control. I'm trying right now I'm starting to go to the gym, learn how to play the piano, getting a job, talking in like depression groups, but I just don't know. Thanks for the support though dad.
That's true. I'll kill people who deserve to die or something before I go. Make my life mean something.
>Both aren't healthy choices.
Dying is kinda final.
LSD might turn your life around making you realize all your problems are just in your head. Or it might make you want to killyourself even more. What's to lose?
Your suicide would destroy your family and obviously you. Start yourself a diary about how you feel and date it, the date is important.
Go and tell your parents how you are feeling, get a doctors appointment and keep it.
It's going to be hard doing these things because it all seems so worthless but trust me just do it.
Your parents may or may not understand but either way they should support you even if they haven't a clue what you're going through, they may even surprise you depression does run in families.
Try and put a smile on your face to people you meet. Yeah I know it sounds like shit but it is proven to lift your spirit and make your depression better, trust me it works.
Avoid toxic people, people who make you feel down, you need people that push you to do things, anything.
Don't be alone, seek out company, lone time is thinking time and that makes you depressed.
>11 year old sister which is the only reason ive stayed for so long
yeah fucking right op.
I was there, still crawling back but there is so much you don't know coming.
So much that makes it worth the shit to get there.
You won't regret saving your own life. I promise.
Acid has been the one drug I've always wanted to do. Always.
I have a girlfriend and it was a pretty good day actually up until about 8:30. I was supposed to sneak over to her house after I dropped her off and at the last minute while I was driving her home I pried out of her that she didn't want to cause she was afraid of getting in trouble. It crushed me. Long story short it was important I came over we were supposed to talk and shit and finally have time alone without nazi's for parents breathing down our necks. I understand completely why she didn't want to do it but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Every relationship I've had has been constant turmoil because of shit like this. It's not just an isolated incident, this shit ALWAYS happens. There's been one time I can think of where things actually went perfectly. So yeah I've been shrugging it off and trying again for years, but that doesn't work and just bottles it up.
ahahahaha its funny to read this my girlfriend is sort of doing the same had a truly amazing relationship for the past year now for then past week and half she won't even speak me or anything.
You sound young dude and if thats the type of shit that makes you want to kill yourself, you need to grow up.
Life doesn't get easier and how you deal with it makes you what you are. Deal with the shit and especially if it's meaningless shit like you've described.
>she didn't want to cause she was afraid of getting in trouble
I hate to say this, but that sounds like a lie. If, Anon, you have the courage to consider the possibility that she may be cheating, at least you'll have the upper hand and not get caught by surprise later on. Life will be a long continuum of betrayal by those whom you think are closest to you. The only way to survive is to accept human nature for what it is. Be willing to see the good in people, but be constantly prepared for the possibility of betrayal.
i dont understand suicide. people make threads and say they cant take it anymore and they're ready to end it, so i say DO HARD DRUGS. THEY WORK. THEY MAKE LIFE LIVABLE.
then they turn into these wholesome good2shoefags, "oh, im at the point of offing myself, but i would never start doing drugs". Do you want to be happy or what??
Anyway.. do hard drugs or gtfo. sick of these threads.
lol nice find actually.
Yeah I've tried a lot. I just got doubled my dosage I take 100mg of Zoloft daily. I wish they'd give me Xanax but a boy can dream.
Can you read you shitfuck
I don't fucking know man. No thank god I'm not but I don't. Fucking. Know. Every girl I've dated: Nazi parents.
I don't. I don't even have porn really.
Like I said I know that one incident seems meaningless cause in most people's eyes it is. But that's how everything goes. It constant let-downs. I wish I could find a way to fix it but I don't know how
She's 18 and is scared of her step dad I already told her to grow some balls and tell him to fuck off you already pay for your own shit.
Hard drugs make life worse in the long run
I've thought about that too. I don't care anymore. I've thrown most of my pride aside by trying to get help and admitting to myself I can't do this alone.
OP I know what you're feeling bro I really do, I went through a similar slump for a few years and while I'm still not 100% ok right now, I'm doing better. A lot better actually.
If you've woken up in the morning and the first thought that comes to your head is 'i want to sleep forever' or you fantasize about all kinds of ways to end yourself before falling asleep, I know exactly how it feels. That hopeless dread that consumes you, we've been through it.
So from someone that has been in a similar boat as you, all I have to say is that you have to fight yourself. Fight your thoughts, feelings, your past, whatever that holds you down, and live your life. Brush your teeth and shower, go take a walk, bang your girlfriend, etc. DO SOMETHING EVERY DAY but don't let yourself to stagnate and fall into your thoughts. Last summer I stayed inside my apartment for 2 months straight and saw the sun a handful of times in that timespan. I really was gonna kill myself but with some help from friends and most importantly my desire to be better, I got through it. I'm not 100% content happy or ok with my life but I know for a fact now that my life, my future is up to me and me alone. Always remember your future is up to you and you only. I love you bro you can do it
the long run? who gives a fuck! you're ready to end it all right?! you want the pain gone right?! well you got 2 options sitting in front of you, take the dope, coke, speed. try em all, find out what your doc is.and ride that motherfucker til the wheels fall off. and if u cant take it at the end of the rode, when u got no more dope, tired of schemeing, still miserable. then end it all. what the fuck do u have to lose exactly if youre already at the breaking point?
Maybe her parents are afraid that your constant whining, contemplating suicide at the drop of a hat and your overall pussyness is going to rub off on her? Or maybe they just recognise that your suceptibility to depression is a sign of genetic inferiority
I don't whine to anyone about much of anything. I normally deal with everything on my own which is probably part of the problem. I've been contemplating suicide since my depression started but have always told myself I'll be fine. The last one I can't really argue against because there's an acute possibility it might be true.
My girlfriend is bipolar though so hey I don't really think they can complain come to think of it.
And no that doesn't mean she swaps moods every five minutes because I'm sure most of you don't understand how being bipolar works. You couldn't tell her any different from someone without it.
oh man. this reminds me too much of my friends little sister. she was about 5 or 6 when this happend.
so i would often hang out at my friends house and his mom would go out so he would be in charge of taking after his sister, no big deal not like it takes much effort.
back then i chewed alot of gum, fav. was the trident watermellon flavor or the pomegranate.
i would pretty much always have pack in my pocket...
my friends little sister really liked gum and would often ask me for some when i had it.
one day we took her to the park and she was playing around with all the other kids and then she comes up to me and asks if i have gum...
i pretend to not have any.
then she starts smelling my pockets but is more near the middle of my jeans at my crotch.
my friend looks at me trying to hold back his laughter as all i can say sarcastically is "its not what it looks like"
dude, its not like we're somehow gonna change your opinion on this, im sure you've seen more threads like this here so you know what to expect. If youre tired of your shitty life changes something about it. go to Australia and pick bananas, or teach english in France or whatever, or kill yourself if thats what you really want. Just ask yourself, if a maniac with a machete walked in right now would you try to defend yourself or embrace death? I hope you get it all sorted out and are happy with your decision anon
Also trips dont lie
Jesus...Jesus Christ, man! Why don't you love somebody just a little? Why don't you help somebody?! Help them! Help, for the love of Christ! You green-soaked caterpillar-torturing BASTARD! YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR THAT UNIFORM! SLEEP IN IT! BATHE IN IT! TRY TO TAKE IT OFF AND YOU'LL DIE IN IT! IS THAT CLEAR?!
Maybe they think your mind-fucked-up-ness combined with her mind-fucked-up-ness is a bad idea?
Oh, and also, your mind-fucked-up-ness combined with her mind-fucked-up-ness is a bad idea!
>I just got doubled my dosage I take 100mg of Zoloft daily. I wish they'd give me Xanax but a boy can dream.
I just heard an article that says that SSRIs are not as effective as the previous generation of medication, "benzodiazepines", and that the pharmaceutical industry makes the information about them somewhat unreliable. and be really careful if you go off your medication, because SSRIs can have some insanely powerful withdrawal effects. Don't do it on your own. Taper off.
"The Hidden Costs of Financial Conflicts of Interest in Medicine" by Giovanni A. Fava
I'll tell you one thing, get control of your will power. It's all theoretical to me, but nurture your passions, develop your will towards those values you have through your passions. Goals, delaying gratification. Uhm, there's also various stages of decisions, so you can gain skills in different points. If you learn to set things in motion too early you will be unprepared for changing things that are further along that process, like when things come along that you didn't set in motion.
- Signed, a wizard.
Well I guess I hope you're right considering it'd match my personal beliefs. None of that "if you assume this thing is true, which I cannot prove, then I can prove that this is also true"-bullshit?
It has colorful graphs and small words so you can understand it
OP here. Thanks guys reading these actually really helped for the most part. I could type out the story of my life but nobody wants to read that bullshit but instead of killing myself I think I'm just gonna chill tonight, play some ESO and make that gold selling Columbine. Tomorrow I'm gonna go for a jog, shave my face, tell my girlfriend to come over Thursday so we can talk, tell my sister how much she means to me and just start there. I've been through this much shit what's a few more months. Then she'll graduate and we'll go to college assuming we're still together by then. If not then fuck nigga her loss I'm going to be a mechanical engineer fucking bitches getting money.
Life is my oyster. I'm gonna graduate buy my favorite car drop some acid and live life and jump out of a plane this Summer. Fuck feelings I ain't no bitch chef.
They treated depression with benzos before ssris?
BTW op, it's not hard to get prescribed xanax but they won't prescribe it for depression alone.
Depression Medications can sometimes make you more suicidal than you normally would be. You should talk to your doctor, let him know, and ask about switching to a new ssri or something else if it isn't working for you.
If I can tell you one thing I've learned from depression it's that self-pity destroys your motivation and creates a glass ceiling that only you can break yourself out of. Trust me anon, sex isn't all that it's cracked up to be. I'd much rather cuddle with a girl and watch Netflix than get laid. It's great, don't get me wrong. But just take some ecstasy. They're about the same feeling.
Keep your chin up bro. Mature emotionally and find yourself. I passed the self-pity point once I hit high school but still am stuck with the whole figuring my shit out thing. Life's hard. Things suck dick. But if losing your virginity is your big problem, then don't honestly try and sit here and compete for biggest dick contest over who has a worse life. That's not why I made the thread /b/ro.
>They treated depression with benzos before ssris?
I guess. I'm just passing along what I heard. I'm not sure if it was the same article, but it basically said SSRIs are not good long-term. Maybe that was just personal opinion of the person who was talking to me.
Personally, I'd try meditation, maybe some entheogens / psychedelics. I hear a lot of good things about meditation but I haven't been able to get it right. For entheogens, make sure you read up on things like proper setting. erowid.org
OP. There is noone on this earth I'd be sad to leave, and I only anticipate ascension to the heavens, that's what life is all about, we're coming and going, that's it - the world is a satanic and dark place and it will be shit, but please pull through for me. We all lose in the end, we all go into the same coffin.
So sick of attention seeking bitches. If you're going to suicide fucking do it. Don't talk, just do. Otherwise shut the fuck up, man up. Life's hard cunt!! No one owes you a life of happiness. You have to get it yourself. If you're piss weak fucking kill yourself. The world doesn't need your weak genes to be passed on anyway.
depression is a choice. you might say "fuck you" to me for this, but it is. (trust me, i'm a psychologist)
depression usually starts and exists due to a feeling of not being in control of the situation one is in. (things not going the way you want).
that is what i mean with "depression is a choice" people get too hooked on society's idea of the good life. and furthermore, think they have to act accordingly to society's image and morals.
but one thing you have to realize is, that you DON'T HAVE to do anything in this life. the feeling that you MUST do this or MUST do that is an idea you haven't double checked.
a man is depressed, has a shitty job, a wife and 3 kids (oldest 12) because he feels that he MUST take care of his family, he stays in the shitslum his life is.
but do you HAVE to stay with your wife and kids ? society says yes. but eally... you don't.
find out what it is you want, despite everything else, and do it.
Anyone who feels bad should move to a 3rd world country and become a warlord. You're more than likely smarter than every single person there and they will love you for it. Love you like a god. It will cure your depression and you will be spreading good genes.
(trust me, i'm a psychologist)
mfw helping OP make poisonous potion to help him an hero
All of my this.
We are in charge of our lives. Which means we are responsible for how they turn out. If your life isn't worth living, it's because you're not stepping up.
And people who threaten suicide are the worst kind of attention-seeking prima donnas. They like putting their friends and family through the wringer just so they can feel special for a while.
OP is a faggot.
that you're a faggot in clown shoes! honk honk
u only need freinds OP, real ones, stop thinking everyone wants to hurt u. Someone eventually will try yo br your friend if you do something usual at a certain place of your preference.
Without makeup she looks 12. She's got a cute little body with nice features. Best lay I've ever had despite her being retarded with sex which is even nicer cause I get to be the one to make her experienced.
Part of the reason I am depressed is cause I know this world is such a shitshow. But you are right, death is inevitable and we all will get buried someday.
I actually get where you're coming from. I should seriously just do what I want and become a satanist. Live in the self-indulgence.
I'm not threatening anyone, trust me. I hate attention seeking, pity party bullshit. I'm just reaching for help because I'm trying to be strong enough to admit I'm too weak to handle it on my own. Nobody knows how I've been feeling besides my girlfriend.
that's not really true, i think you should always, or in most circumstances take a suicide threat serious, it is a cry for help.
thrapy might be a way...
if it is a threat every week, then no.
but in all cases of suicide threats, whether they come from people who don't get wat they want or as a cry for help. both peops need to see a therapist
>i think you should always, or in most circumstances take a suicide threat serious
Congrats, you're the OP's new best friend.
>it is a cry for help
Exactly - and not a serious threat. It's just a pose to get attention.
People who really commit suicide don't broadcast the fact to everybody. They just get on and do it.
Don't kill yourself, Norton will keep you secure through these rough times brother!
Yeah, if you're a pussy.
Depression happens, it's fucking natural. Things get better, you don't need fucking anti-depressants. Just quit being a bunch of fags and just keep going. I know, because I've been there as well. I was an alcoholic druggie. Just man the fuck up plebs and let your balls hang low. Mentally and physically
Check out if you want but know that it takes the most commitment that you have ever displayed. Can't take it back, it's hard mate always will be. Here's the thing, none of us know if we will get another roll.
You feel sadness, Anon? Pain? Suffering? Despair? Good. It means that you are still alive. It means you are still human.
There is precious little humanity left in this world Anon, don't waste it.
you should always at least listen to it.
a cry for help means that someone really needs help.
who are you to deny that help.
and besides, people who commit sucide have long passed the stage of making threats...
they all go trough kind of the same process.
there is always a cry for help first.
but because people don't listen to it, they actually do it.
no one just wakes up and kills himself
You seem young. So there is a lot more things that can happen to you, both good, and bad. Suicide should be the last thing you do in your situation. The LAST thing. Travel, join Buddhist monks in Nepal , join ISIS, help Israel kill sandniggers, assassinate trump, do anything.
Now I'm not saying, find the meaning of life, because there is none. life is pointless, and no one will care if you die. So make people care. For at least you will be remembered longer than everyone else.
But even then, everyone is eventually forgotten.
- your friendly neighbourhood anon
Well, it's even more magical than being a kissless virgin wizard, I can tell you that.
At least I've gotten a shit ton of amazing blow jobs. You can get that and still be depressed. Says a lot about life.
i'm not a wonderfull person, i'm (as i said) a psychologist.
whether we caur or we don't, we help people who experience such problems.
not by caring, but by using proven techniques to aleviate such problems.
grow the fuck up you little bitch
>talking about killing himself because there's only "been one time I can think of where things actually went perfectly"
most of us here (me) never actually had a real relationship (I'm 24) and still don't take the "easy way out" so shut up
you're 44 and the first insult you throw happens to be a very specific one about being a kissless virgin wizard LOL are you depressed because you're a kissless virgin wizard whose only value in life comes from receiving shitty blow jobs from hookers? no wonder you've been a little weenie the past 3 decades lol
This is lifes way of telling you to give up, that you're not good for anything and should just give up.
But you know what? fuck life and the games it throws your way. Fuck all the shit it throws at you to try and make you give up. I decided a long time ago that I was going to live as long as I can to give life the finger, even if its mostly miserable. I'll show the big dick that I can survive and live longer than he thinks.
I'll live till I'm 120 mother fucker
I recognize life is pointless. I've made my peace with that. That's not really what upsets me, the upsetting part is that I can't create my purpose. I couldn't pull the trigger and think of things that I've done to be proud of. I'm a shameful sack of shit who's depressed as fuck which in turn makes me have no drive to not be a sack of shit. It's like a vicious cycle.
I've learned to adopt that lifestyle too, and after reading everything I feel like I'm back in that mentality so thanks again guys.
Seriously though yeah. Fuck life. I'm a decently attractive, smart guy with a decent size dick. What could be so bad about life ya know. I'm gonna just go do some drugs fuck my girlfriend tell her I love her and jump out planes and scuba dive with barracudas and shit. Fuck life.
>think of things that I've done to be proud of
If you stay this way, 5 years from now you'll be repeating that same statement. Start something today, it can be anything like playing the guitar or cooking, idk you man. But you work on that something every day and in 5 years I promise you you'll have something that you'll be more than proud of
Like I said before, fuck life. I'm gonna go to college this fall, become a mechanical engineer, make bands, buy my dream car and live life. Fuck cooking is great I should learn that. Always wanted to learn piano I'll do that shit too.
I've always felt like I've had so much potential and I know I'm a smart guy, but I always sell myself short on what I can do. I don't apply myself. I need to start, so I can create a purpose that I can be proud of.
She didn't ignore me, I spent the whole day with her. It was a good day until the end. I do love her, I really see potential in a future. And that's not just me being a naive child. Again, could type out life story but just take my word for it.
I smoke, my family has a history of alcoholism, depression, and cancer, but fuck it. I'll be right there with you living till 120 my nigga.
Enlighten me as to what's wrong with that statement
I'll make the assumption that embracing her and holding her close would be a wiser alternative, but I tried that. She doesn't seem to understand really how to help/support.
How the fuck can people last over a year with depression.
When I got depression, it was out of no where and it lasted 2 months. It was the worst time of my life and I remember the emotional pain being so strong I could feel something in my chest. I didn't want anyone to know but it was hard to hide it from my family since I didn't eat at all, cried and was sad for no reason, was in my room all the time, didn't do the things I liked anymore etc.
I thought I couldn't last another month, until I took some pills for a week and it faded away.
But 8 years? Dafuq? Is it actual depression or like "my life sucks" depression?
Umm,I didn't mean that you shouldn't push her. I wanted to say that it might not seem like to you, but there's people out there that lived a life of solitude. You should actually start beliving in yourself, others are not as lucky as you are.
yeah, I understand no need to go into it. the phone call and text thing wasn't on valentines day then? it's sad but true that a guy being needy is replant to women. it's bullshit but there is nothing that can be done about it. men aren't allowed to have emotions.
I don't know what the hell you had but that's weird man. For me depression feelings like a pit that I can't climb out of, hopelessness, loss of interest in doing anything, suicidal thoughts, that type of thing. For the past 8 years I've felt like I've just been stuck in a hole. That's why even mild stresses in my life take so much out of me. Doing anything for 8 years takes something from you. I've just lost a lot of optimism which I know contributes to it but I was just taking a smoke break and really thought about it. Hope and faith are all I have left. I've been let down so, so many times. But still I hope. I hope for the next good thing. That's a big part of what's kept me going for years is that hope.
And the hope that things will get better if I try to make them better is the hardest hope to have.
I recognize that but it doesn't really matter.
No it wasn't it was more Monday/yesterday. It would just be nice if she called me or annoyed the shit out of me with text messages or hell even hopped in her car and drove here to make sure I was okay. But she never even called me to check on me when I was talking to her about suicide because "her step dad might get mad". Like fuck your stepdad could you just actually be a good girlfriend and be there for me when I need you for once?
Pretty sad someone who's supposed to love you won't take a risk of getting in trouble to make sure you're not dead but I can post a thread on /b/ and strangers will give me more support than she did. "Please don't kill yourself". Yeah, really helpful. Thanks babe.
Do it and be a man about it. Get a fucking gun. Go stand infront of your family. Tell them 'this is your fault'. Then turn you back on them, put the gun to your forehead and putt the fucking triger, then the blow through will spray them all and then they will have to wash your brain bits out of thier hair truely scaring them for life.
The day you will understand how much it actually matters you will learn to love what you are and what you have at this moment. Don't let your potentially good memories become regrets.
>She's got a cute little body with nice features. Best lay I've ever had despite her being retarded with sex which is even nicer cause I get to be the one to make her experienced.
Well even tho this happened years ago and only happened one time since, albeit not as severe, I definitely remember telling myself this pain is unimaginable. It's hard to think that was me years ago. I had loads of suicidal thoughts, felt guilty very easily, thought no one in this world understood my pain, I know that sounds emo but it's really what I thought. But unlike them I did my best to keep others from finding out what I was going through, because I was embarrassed, and even tho I asked myself why this was happening to me, I never had the thought of cutting myself, nor did I. The depression also drowned out the anxiety I felt prior to this episode.
I couldn't enjoy life anymore. I looked out the window as I saw my friends playing outside and wished I could go outside without wanting to go back inside or faking being fine. Whenever my favorite fun people came to visit, I would go to my room and cry. Whenever we went out to just have fun, I would wanna go home and couldn't wait to be in my bed so I could cry and be alone.
But I know what I felt like, and thinking it was so strong that it would be a permanent imprint in my life, and even if it went away, I'd still feel it, cause it was that strong.
It went away and I feel normal now. Hopefully doesn't come back, but if it came back in a lesser form once, I can't tell myself it won't happen again, but until then, at least I feel normal now, and can be happy.
But just hang in there. I also thought about my family when I thought about suicide, and WISHED my family didn't care about me so I could kill myself without worrying about them.
I'm not really an empathetic person, and people bash me for it, but I wish you the best, and I wish depressed people had to only face depression for less than a year like I have. I can't imagine going a year feeling how I did.
I can't tell you it'll go away soon, but just hope it does. Get help, talk to people, take medication if you need to.
OP is a massive entitled faggot who feels entitled to a special snowflake life.
You had a fucking girlfriend.
That's better than 90% of the 30 year old male virgins in here.
Holy shit you're an entitled faggot for being depressed for no real reason.
You want a reason for suicide?
Are you a burn victim?
Were you born with all your limbs?
Do you have any mental retardation?
Holy fuck you're a fucking brat.
I fucking hate white people.
all fucking niggers must fucking hang
I ain't got no good stories nigga
first time we did it was her first time so you can probably guess how that went. She's has a dime vag I will say that. I literally couldn't fit two fingers in the first time we did anything it took like 4 tries before we actually had sex and when we finally did it was boring, missionary, trying not to hurt her cause I was popping her cherry sex.
The second time though, oh god the second time.
I don't even know why it was so good. She tried riding me but couldn't get the motion right and told me she didn't like it because it felt "weird" and she felt a lot of pressure like pushing inside her lol. It's really nice that she's inexperienced because she's flattering. Like the first time we did it she kept asking me if it was all the way in and I'm just like "trust me you'd know" and finally when I did go all the way in she literally gasped and "Jesus Christ I could feel that like in my stomach"
I leaned down next to her ear and whispered: "I'm not that big but thanks for the compliment"
Funny thing is I'm really not that big. 7 1/2
OP, you're just a kid, so you're too weak for the world. You have to toughen up, and the only way you can do that is by going through pain, which is obviously what you are doing. All of that bullshit you have to deal with is going to be replaced with bigger bullshit, and you deal with it and you get strong. Then one day you look back and laugh at what you were worried about when you were a kid. If you give up now it'll all be for nothing, and you wont have another chance. You need to be thankful for what you have in life instead of crying about things not going your way, its called growing up.
Would kill for? You mean liking little girls with the body of a little boy? Little girls don't even wipe and have shit stains on their underwear. Anyone who finds that attractive is disgusting and DOES have to die.
I'm trying bro I am. Thanks for sharing the story.
I know how you feel. I wish I didn't have people care so I could end it, but at the same time I want people to care cause they're the only purpose I have right now.
I know it probably won't go away, but the next big step in life is college and god knows I need a change, so I'm hoping that'll help me out of it and give me a purpose I can be happy with.
Jeez dude you need to chill. The ignorance though. You don't know anything that's happened to me and continue to judge. You get so angry at something you don't even know about or understand. Why don't you go listen to the news and not give vaccines to your children so they don't have autism. Read some source material.
I've done plenty of growing up, that's the shitty part. I didn't get to experience much of being a kid and that's partially depressing. Once again, none of you really know my life story and I'm not going to type it out, so actual advice would be appreciated instead of calling me some whiny brat who's self-entitled. Any retard who thinks having a girl in your life makes it perfect has serious issues.
I know right? Like just because I have a girlfriend doesn't mean my life is wonderful. It's sad how badly a lot of people let their obsession with affection create such a problem in their life.
Oh boo hoo you're depressed, stop being a fucking a faggot and deal with it like everyone else does. I've got clinical depression and you don't see me whining about it, I bet half the people here have some form of depression yet we're not all whining about killing ourselves to people online.
Grow the fuck up and get your shit together.
>inb4 "but I can't handle it anymore", yes you fucking can, man up
What didnt you get to experience? If you're going to come on here and ask for advice you need to give details. You want a little perspective? Read about what life used to be like for kids in the early 1900s, then tell me how rough your life is. Do you have a family that loves you? Do you have friends? Are you not poor as fuck? Then what youre doing is crying like a baby, and we'll call it like it is.
Download the peaceful pill handbook and if you have you heart set take it from there.
No I am OP. I can't tell stories about my sex life? Just because I'm depressed doesn't mean my whole life has been a pit of sorrow.
It was more out of surprise. When she was riding me she said it felt "weird" but never said uncomfortable. Other than that she hasn't said anything.
Of course you're whining this is /b/ where half the people are logical human beings and the other half are Trump supporters.
Circumstances and situations are helpful to know in some scenarios, but the feelings are all the same. If I'm depressed, I'm depressed. The chemical responses in my brain are no different from anyone else's. It would take pages to list of every stress I've ever had or am currently having, so instead listing off all the past issues I can't fix or change I'd rather find constructive ways to "fix" the future. That's what most of you don't understand when you just say I'm some whiny retard. Yes I want to kill myself and end it, sorry for bothering you with my "pity party". I'm not asking for an "I'm sorry for you" or "Oh gee your life is soooo bad" I'm looking for reason. Reasons to keep going. Not pity.
It is not, sorry to disappoint.
Im the one who said op had what others would kill for. That doesnt imply my life sucks, thats how you took it, because you're grabbing at straws. You can recognize something without it applying to you.
Ive had depression all my life, I get it. But Im saying, depression aside, you're being weak. I highly doubt your life is that bad, you havent said anything about a disability or terminal disease, and from the sounds of things you dont have much to complain about since you wont even tell us why it is you have it so bad.
>Engage new relationships through a new activity
>Get out enjoy some instants of grace, a kid laugh, a sunset, a squirrel
You're empty : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z84vQZ6x6Os
Fill yourself with love : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn6sCgktF_k
I never said I had it that bad. I really don't have it that bad. I really, really don't. Depression is something that I don't really understand why I even have. I've messed up a lot, my life isn't great or anything, but I definitely know there's so much worse lives.
For some reason though I've just never been able to shake it. Never just wake up one morning and be like "wow life is great" and just kill the day like I own the world. Everyday is just a struggle, and I don't get why. I really don't.
My parents always ask me what's wrong or tell me I need to "figure it out" and it's so hard for them to understand I really really don't know. If I could find a definitive answer and say "boom here's the cause of my feelings" believe me I would and I would've fucking fixed it. Why would I want to feel this way? But sadly I really have no idea how to make it better.
Maybe she didn't, but I really doubt that.
She told me she liked it and wanted to do it again, so we did. She's the one that pushed the issue more than I did. I told her we really didn't have to and I wanted to make sure she was completely okay with it and if we broke up or something she wouldn't regret and she still wanted to. She fucked me in the back of her step dad's pickup. That's one thing I will always say gives me joy is knowing I plowed basically his daughter in that dickheads truck.
i know how that feels, i have the same problem but i am working on it, i can understand how difficult is learn by your own about life, nobody understood around you , the loneliness, and the anxiety. you should read Walser books i hope it helps for your current situation. cheers
I wake up and think about killing myself every day, but I won't do it. Because I'm not a pussy. You have to just keep suffering through it OP, that's the joy of life, the suffering never ends.
I treated my depression by making goals and working out. You have to stay on it so it doesnt creep back in. Dont drink alcohol either, it makes things worse. If you do this you'll be fine.
>I dont like your mentality.
What does this mean? You dont like when people call out others for being spoiled brats? Or you're butthurt over the other anon saying he doesnt like white people? Dont even try to act smart buddy you arent fooling anyone.
My father was an angry man so I've learned to control my anger. I never want to be as angry as he was. I agree though maybe I should get like a punching bag or something and just beat the shit out of that whenever I feel down.
I agree that OP is a little spoiled. If that's all you agreed with in the other post, so be it. Stop aligning yourself with fags. Just because he used the buzzword "special snowfake" doesn't make that guy any less of a sjw.
Regarding your own words, you don't know what OP's life is like so stop pretending. Stop assuming everyone here should envy anyone else who has a girlfriend or whatever you meant by what you said. And fuck your grammatical attacks. You can stop replying now, Okay? Or do you need more clarification?
I know a crybaby when I see one. You're just mad about the other anon calling white people entitled, so you threw a fit. It's true though, white people are entitled, and they cry if they dont automatically receive things other people would die to have. If anyone here is the SJW its you, sticking up for a whiner who expects life to be great without earning it. So you can quit replying now and go cry to your mommy about how they said white people were entitled, it obvious thats what this is really about you weakling.
I don't like you either so don't kid yourself. It goes way beyond the use of "White people". It's true I don't like the way "Entitled" is used, it's a weasel word. You think white people shouldn't expect or try to attain a certain standard or quality from life and you're a waste of oxygen. Just because some other non mentioned race hasn't achieved the quality of life whites have you want to drag them down to some shit covered, lower playing field and you're an asshole for it. Your childish names have no effect on me your pretending to know someone again, remember what we just talked about? You are a waste of my time though and I'm better off without replying to you so hopefully this is the last one or are you one of those faggots that has to get the last word in every time. :^)
OP if you're still here you aren't acting entitled so don't sweat the troll posts. One word of advice, some might think some of your depressive behavior is manipulative towards the girl even though any rational person would know it's just your depression. It's not a bad thing that she follows her dads rules but she should text you back and show concern.
If you have to ask then your not ready. My father once said if you have to ask the opinion of other people to make a decision then the decision is always going to be the wrong one. Be your own man op your going to get life fags and regular fags saying do it ,don't do it if you have to ask wether to kill yourself or not do you really think that's the last option you have??
Ask yourself what non white races is so vile and assblasted that they feel the need to join a clinically depressed kids thread and call him entitled, presume all sorts of shit about him, and try to make the thread an use vs them issue.
no one gives a shit about your depression as much as you think they do.
You place too much expectation on external things. things you have no control over, so you always feel like the loser because it's very rare that the things you have no control over go your way.
Instead accept what you can't change and put more effort into what you can change.
Expect nothing of anything and you will always be pleasantly suprised.
Focus on what you can change and the things that go right when you turn your effort in the right direction.
Love things for what they ARE and not for what you want or wish them to be.
When your stuggles are minimal your path is clearer. no body can walk your path for you.
ask for guidance but don't expect to be shown the way. Only you can work out your path.
People do care about you, but you're probably not being fun to be around.
You can change that. BUT you cannot change the way people are around you only how you are around them.
Your family and the friends (that you might not feel you have right now) will be devasted. all that they have invested in you, in their lives with you.
Why do you get to decide to take that away from them because things aren't going the way you think they should be right now.
Embrace now, deal with your problems. Even if it's slowly, just make sure you are. Make a concious effort for your self, because everyone else still has to deal with thier own shit too, without having to deal with yours aswell.
...I have depression to.
all that, easier said than done.
but I'm trying.
Still here /b/ro. Trust me I know I'm a newfag but not new enough to take them to heart.
I understand that I already thought of the manipulative part, but this is the last in many occasions where she just has seemed like she hasn't given a shit. For example I started trying to seek help around the start of january and when I went to the doctors and told them I was having suicidal thoughts they basically told me "oh shit nigga he's gonna off himself like now" and forced me to the hospital in an ambulance with little warning. So when I text me girlfriend "Hey I'm being brought to the hospital in a fucking ambulance" do you think I even get a phone call? A rush to the hospital out of concern? No. Same bullshit. I understand she wants to follow his rules even if he's a nazi, but am I really not worth breaking the rules sometimes? Not even with things concerning suicide or depression but just in general. Like damn.
Thanks anon. A lot of that hit home. I really am fun to be around for the most part, but most of my friends know me as the guy to turn to when they wanna talk about some deep shit. On the surface I just act like some goofy kid who enjoys life but when we're sitting around the fire looking at the stars that's when the deeper side pours out as gay as that sounds. I expect nothing for the most part but I always keep this hope inside me cause I feel like you should have hope. Maybe I should just abandon that though. I know that only I can change me I'm not naive enough to believe someone will hold my hand to the promised land, but like you said, all easier said than done.
I'm trying too. We'll make it someday.
Dont fucking kill yourself.
As bad as you feel now, it will pale in comparison to how bad your family will feel if you kill yourself. Do you want to force those feelings on your famiy?
Suicide is a permanent soloution to a temporary problem. Get therapy and work through it.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Vodka is cheaper
than dinner for two!
Just don't do it over a girl, or because you feel sorry for yourself for not having a girlfriend...not worth it dude - life is easier without 'em, and if you need some tits in your face from time to time you can always just pay for that.
You'll have more fun doing the "bachelor life" thing for a good long time - don't obsess over chicks...they're a pain in the ass and not worth the headache.
> got a girlfriend
> got a loving family around him
Dude, you've got more than most /b/tards. Have you been to the doctors? Go on medication - I take sertraline and it really helped me. Take up a new hobby, go to the gym, get a new job, force yourself into making changes in your life. Don't give up now because ANYTHING can still happen for you when you least expect it. If you don't have any children, scrape together every penny you've got, borrow, lend, save etc. and then go and travel for a month on your own, it'll be the most enlightening experience for you.