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Ive been asked to move out in the next month, I dont have a full time job, I owe my brother $2600 and I browse /b. Suffering from Crohns, weigh around 100 pounds at a height of 5'11", earning $200-$800 per week as a casual cook and cant seem to find literally anyone who wants to take a chance to hire me.
>>667179830 For the city Im living in, 200 a week is baseline rent for something decent, and they're in shitty areas. Also my pay could ve anywhere between 200 and 800 a week, depending on how fucked my body is that week / how many and how long my shifts are. Financial uncertainty is a bitch.
>>667179991 Don't do it man, sometimes life seems pointless, and the feeling of emptiness overtakes you. Don't give up, I did (OD, ended up in coma for 2 days). It definitely gets better, just wait it out. Something good will come. There's always a reason to keep on going.
>>667179991 Bro, you're 32 and that's waaaay too much potential you will throw away. You have a sold 50 years left, (if you don't smoke) Start from scratch if you need to. Do whatever it takes, just don't end your life. Because your "worthless" could be someone else's only reason to live.
>>667178888 I don't really have any problems anymore I used to be troubled by the fact that I have no friends or meaningful relationships but I pretty much just surrendered the idea of having those and since then life has been feeling pretty great.
>>667180313 When a parent outlives their son or daughter, they will not live a life full of happiness. If you do truly care for your family, make the right choice and get back on track. Get therapy, anything. You're not a bad person, the alcohol is the monster. You're full of unearthed potential.
There are so many fucking things wrong right now, I honestly just want to find moderately peaceful way to go. I'm considering freezing to death in a river, the shock should keep the pain from being too severe, and the comms should make death sort of comforting. I just have to decide whether I want a few more months or a better death.
I mean, if I have to I'll just get drunk and cut my carotid...
Not sure why I'm bothering to write this. I guess I'm mildly compelled to respond to any thread that feels like it's talking to me. Pavlovian response perhaps.
been 15 weeks since i had emergency surgery to remove my large intestine, the entire thing violently ruptured due to sudden severe ulcerative colitis. post operative complications have left me with a still closing wound and a fucking abdomen that looks disgusting. I was depressed and tried to kill myself before any of this even happened, since then I’ve lost my friends and forced to leave university for a year thanks to this train wreck of a body
>>667181185 You are very sweet, but the truth is, it will last forever. What I've got going on is permanent, and it's not something that will ever get better. On top of that, most of the people I treasured most in this world have abandoned me. I'm completely dependent on others right now, and I don't see any reason to burden them further, but the truth is, I know it's about me. I don't want to be alive anymore. The future is not only bleak, it is empty.
Unemployed with no prior work experiences and owe my college 4k. Have no credit to show for it. I'm 19, what can i do to help turn my life around? I want to learn computer programming but my computer is a slow as fuck windoze potato that overheats. >inb4 kill mself or install gentoo
>>667181820 That hurts to hear. Dude, you've only got yourself to love. You're still alive after all that bullshit, and those people who left you couldn't see that you are a soldier. Don't let this one problem kill yourself. Look at Stephen Hawkin.
My mother also had UC. In and out of hospital, also had the emergency surgery at age 38. Taking the surgery lost her her job in the Navy. You know what she did? Got another job. Worked her ass off. This was 11 years ago. Now she manages parts of the government. Project Manager in the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet Australia. Shes 56 and outruns 18 year olds. Doesn't give one solitary shit about her looks. Abdomens can be covered. Hell, last week she shaved her head because she hated her hair. Despite having a haircut 5 days away. You can do so much if you put your mind to it.
>>667182027 You may feel empty but it'll pass. Life doesn't give you everything, but it'll give you so much in the future. If you do something to yourself, someone in the world just lost an amazing friend.
>>667183023 You are a very kind person, and I do not wish to disillusion you of your desire to help, so I will leave it at that. Please continue to spread the love, and I hope you have success with your endeavors. Everyone deserves assistance when they can use it. If I had options, I'd totally be more open to listening.
>>667182697 Not gonna kill myself, been through that song and dance. No fam, I'm in foster care till I'm 21 cause college and my fosters don't care much about me. I'm just a 700$ a month check to them. My only friend is a fat 35 y/o gay man who always wants me to bone him. I'm straight.
>>667178888 I have a fucking problem! I have been ill in something called panic attack disorder. Ruined 10 years of my life. Today after fighting this nightmare for 10 years I am well. However, all my friends have moved on, my family has moved on. I am alone, I can't relate to anyone my age. And people around 18-21 think Im a creep when I want to interact with them. So what the fuck do I do? I sit on my ass, playin videa, complaining about nignog crimes and mudslimes in my country and /b ofc. what do?
>>667178888 Fiance moved back in with overbearing controlling mother despite the fact she is almost 26 and capable of living her life. Lost my job and car in the same week. Probation is on my ass though I'm doing everything they want. And then there's the long list of general insecurities brought on by social standards. Getting really close to ending it all.
>>667184041 If you got the time and resources, just do whatever makes you happy. This life is too short for people who think you're "creepy". There will be an equally more "creepy" person for you. Hang in there bro.
>>667184166 You can try to prove to probation that you're not a criminal anymore by coming to an agreement with them, whether that involves community service or just stay on task. You can also try to get a small job and work your way up from there. You're fiancé is there for you, bro. Don't worry about it too much.
I'm really worried i'm not smart enough to make it through college. I just started two semesters ago, i'm taking 3 classes right now, and i'm starting to struggle. Was spoon fed most of my childhood so that's probably it.
>>667184619 It's not an excuse. We don't want to die, we just want to feel peace and happiness and never pain and anger. You're gonna have a long and hard journey because life never hands you a silver spoon, but you don't need it. You got yourself and a whole lot of life in you. Stay strong, and don't do anything stupid.
>Boyfriend is overwhelmed with adult stuff like jobs, the future, being precieved as adequate by others >Nearly broke up with me last night because of it but shortly took it back after >Worried it had nothing to do with the stress he's under and more to do with him just not being as interested in me anymore >Still love him so much >The thought that he may not feel the same anymore is fucking terrifying
>>667184916 I've done all my hours, paid most of my fees, have kept a job, even quit smoking weed. If you ever get on probation for anything, DON'T do it in Bexar county. They want you in prison and have no problems telling you. Bad thing, is it was my first crime ever committed and I turned myself in from the guilt. I've never been pulled over or anything.
>>667178888 i am unemployed because an entire city is out to phish for pederasts and foreigners, i have to ask for money on the street, panhandling with university level education and no mental problems or convictions of any sort
>>667185256 Bro, I met this amazing girl on a game and now we're the greatest of ducking friends. I've never met her in real life but we're pretty good friends. If I can find a wonderful friend over a child's game, what's to say you can't do the same? Friends are everywhere. You just gotta take the initiative and say, "What's up, bitch."
>>667183919 Trust me, the only thing holding you back is the sepression. Removal has around a 99% chance of conplete remission from UC, and if not the treatments are less painful than the removal. The worst is over for your UC, guaranteed.
im getting pissed because the world is fucked and I have seen the future of our entire world happy WW3 guys have a bevie get pissed have sex and do as much drugs as you can we are at the end of the road.I cant make a difference and personally I don't want to im just a pawn in the sick game called life.Its been a fun journey and to all the people who will se this post have as much fun as you can and live as much as you can with what time we have left.
>>667185294 He does, trust me. Make sure that he knows that you love him. Give him the biggest hug of your life and tell him that you are there for him through everything. He's in such a tight position and losing you would wreck him. He needs you.
>>667186066 They've done it twice now. Sent me to a state faculty for 6 months (lockdown 23 hours, no calls,visits, or commissary), then turned around and sent me back to county for a month after I told them I had taken a job in the next county because it was all I could find. My charge is burglary, which is a horrible charge. I did do the crime under the influence of way too much alcohol. I had a problem, fixed it, and have been doing all I can to prove it. Yet they let these fucking Mexicans run around free with felony dwi's and murder charges. San Antonio is extremely biased against blacks and whites. It's ridiculous.
Depressed AF, no meds for it. Can't sleep, no meds for it. Body aches every day, my joints are a mess, no meds for it. Stopped seeing my shrink because he thought I was fine. Same with my GP. I am too good at pretending everything is shiny. I just can't help my self. It's a skill I've been practicing every day over the last 20+ years. Everything I touch turns to shit. Everything gets even worse when I ignore it and hope it goes away..
>>667186734 You can probably sit down and tell her that sometimes, it's just your problem that may fuck things up, but not you. I believe that if you don't have HIQ, you'd able to hold yourself. She loves you for who you are and she's still with you. Keep her and treat her well.
>>667186803 Try to get the fuck out of the city when you have enough money or any relatives to stay with. If they're still requesting anything from you, do it and tell them to fuck off. The police departments nowadays can go shove a dick up their ass. My family has had problems with these fuckers as well because of our race.
>>667187575 Funny, it took almost a war just to get transferred in state to my hometown. I'm here now completing probation with a better officer, but Bexar county still owns me and makes a point to remind me with threatening calls every week.
>>667186389 Yea i know the only active UC left is in the ‘rectal stump’, i hope one day to have the stoma reversed but that has a number of problems as well. The depression is the real problem, its just so exacerbated by the UC. Have you had any surgery? or a colostomy bag? i honestly don’t know how to cope with it, fucking bag has leaked twice today, nothing more depressing
>>667187107 You're right, she's aware of it, she always says she wants to know every part of me. She's great. But when it comes to love I quickly freak out. Too much fucking emotions, too many feelings, hopes, fears, and a brain running too fast for my mouth to express it.
It's quite difficult to feel more than you can tell. Have to hide behind social roles, acting all the time. Job, friends, social relations, everything goes well, except for me in the end. I'm fucking talented and I wish I was not.
>>667188506 Mum had a colostomy, my crohns is too advanced for any surgery to be effective. I suppose they didnt reconnect for fear of reactivating, so that feels bad. Been in surgery a few times for a fistula that due to my job I cant just lay out and heal, so had that for 4 years. As for the leaking, do you have something to protect it at all? Like a heavy leather coat or something?
>>667188610 I did actually. I wrote two while at state and three since county. My judge is an alcoholic who got away with intoxicated vehicular manslaughter in the 80's because he's a judge. Dude even showed up to my sentencing smelling like a bottle of Stolli and eyes as glazed as a krispy kreme.
>>667189133 Man, if I were a lawyer, I would hand their asses to them. It'll be hard to get out of this cycle they're putting you through but if they keep doing this shit, see if you can bring it to the news or media. You did your part and these motherfuckers are just exploiting you.
>>667188946 Thats rough, my doctor says a lot of people choose to have the operation I’ve had (without the complications) after living with bowel disease for so long. leaking isn’t a massive problem, happens most when i wake up and the bag is put under pressure from movement.
>>667189418 I've thought about taking it to the news. A few of us almost did until we learned people have been going to the news about it for decades with nothing being done. A crew came to my facility after a tip and all the guards played it off and then took it out on us when the cameras were gone. The American justice system is flawed and unequal in many regards. Nothing can or will be done unless we elect the right person into office.
>>667190146 I guess you'll just have to wait for Bernie Sanders to win this shit. Fuck Trump and Hillary. Good luck to you man. Let's hope these fuckers get some common sense in nearing future and let you go. You seem like a nice guy, so fuck those "law enforcing" pieces of tyrannical shit.
Flipped out on my best friends about 2 months ago because I was angry at a few things, which really had nothing to do with them. I haven't seen them since. I feel shitty because one's off to college and barely talks to me and the other guy has work 12 hours a day/7 days a week. I still feel really guilty about the whole thing, and I don't know what to do.
>>667190717 Thanks, bro. I try to be as good as I can. I don't fuck people over or break the law (aside from my one fuck up). I'm also one of the only people I know with manners still and use sir or ma'am when addressing someone. That's all neither here nor there, though.
I really do hope our next elected leader will be able to fix our ass backwards country and its outdated policies.
>>667191377 I suggest that you try to apologize to them because best friends can't be mad forever. After you're done, everything will be fine. We all lose it once in a while, so just do the better thing and say sorry. It won't hurt and I think that they'll accept it as well :)
>>667190118 Then its more an issue at night in a bed. See if you can sleep with it on a side table or on top of the sheets, where it can stretch without too much pressure. Otherwise try to sleep facing up, may take a while but will help out immensely.
>>667191772 you know how you would get bruises when you were a little kid, from falling off your bike or tripping over a rock? just think of whatever is happening to you right now as that, something that just appears and hurts like hell for a while, maybe leaves a mark, but eventually goes away as nothing but a crappy memory.
>>667178888 >Can't stand my job >Can't decide on a career >Can't stand people >Feel like I'm just floating through life >Getting out of bed is getting harder by the week >Can't motivate myself to make changes >Stay in this rut because at least it's stable for now >Well aware life isn't that bad >Constant struggle between "stop being a pussy" and "why even bother putting forth the effort"
It's probably some depression bullshit, or some other chemical imbalance. Who knows.
>2 years ago >Had crush >Suddenly she started dating my brother >Me sad >Start doing drugs Fast forward two years >Speed addict >Fucked up college >No money left, soon to be kicked out of house >And to top it off, same fucking situation as two years ago happening again >Except different girl, had relationship with her >Started cheating with my best friend I might as well fucking overdose, at least I'll go out with a bang.
>>667193212 Bro, life isn't so simple but the shit that makes it difficult a define you, truly. You will form your career soon and keep in mind to do what makes you happy. You're not gonna be out of options or anything, because your adventure has just begun.
>>667191919 im gonna be going onto a different bag soon, currently on a 2 piece system because it overlaps the wound dressing. i just dunno how to cope anymore, no meds help with the psych issues and codeine abuse means I’m not allowed painkillers anymore. the wound smell is also off-putting despite a fresh dressing
>>667193535 If anything, get off the drugs. It'll destroy you so much. Get a therapist to help you. Getting help makes you the strong one. Even Superman needs Wonderwoman sometimes. After that, get a small job and work up from there. Life is full of options and even if you do go off track, you haven't lost the race just yet.
Im a junior with thinning hair and im talking supplements for it. kissless virgin and short as shit because i was born 6 weeks early. idk how to get grills in my condition and when most people in my school are already coupled
>>667196920 Same boat. But I've been with my girl 3 years. To make it worse, just bought an engagement ring. PS I've only had one sexual partner and that's her. Have never and will never feel another woman. I dun goofed
>>667179845 Benzos feel pretty good but the dependency they can create is pretty rough. I'm with you on therapists. They're absolutely worthless and cost way too much. >"Tell me about your problems." >"I just don't know. There's all this stuff going on and I..." >"Well that's all the time we have for today. Go get this prescription filled and we'll talk again next week!" Have you thought about getting a dog? Not talking like a therapy dog but just whatever suits you. They're great company and can help you become more active which will also make you feel better.
On my side of the fence I'm coming to grips with my deployments from a few years ago. No combat stress stuff but just stuck in the mindset of what all went on over there. Lots of stuff takes me back. Smells, sounds, situations, things like that. Been doing a lot of heavy drinking and have been sober for a few days now albeit struggling to do so.
>>667197871 You may not have gotten over your ex yet but it'll take some time. You're gonna forget it all one day so keep your head up! In the mean time, do things to keep you happy and company. Best of wishes.
My life is down the shitter because my fiance is cheating on me, but I still love the hell out of her. My daughter isn't related to me by blood, so leaving isn't an option unless I never want to see her again. I'm estranged from my family. Family has always been important to me. I'm depressed, quite deeply. And I'm in immense pain right now, because I have Biliary Colic, and have to get my gallbladder removed.
I'm just not well. I think about an heroing at least twice a week.
>>667193915 Pain is always an issue, and a dependance on drugs is the problem. Sad part is that the only way to truly help with shit like chrohns and uc is to try and see if it works. Have you tried different hobbies or anything? Vidya, animu, anything to escape without resorting to drugs?
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