>vagina, mouth, anus feel good on dick
>women are soft and warm
>it feels good to control a woman,sexually
>putting forth the effort to fuck a woman. Spending money, talking to them, pretending, lying
I think jacking off is good enough
>jack off for five minutes
>buy nice clothes
>get a hair cut and shave
>pay cover charge
>buy overpriced drinks
>have a conversation about nothing with some cum dumpster
>convince her to go home with you
>fuck her for 5-30 minutes
>have to get her out of your house
>have to get her out of your life
I'm 35 and my girlfriend is 24. She wants sex all the time. She literally tries to strip my clothes off everyday. It gets old. I usually give in and fuck her once or twice a week.
>a wide range of drugs
>publically excelling at something noteworthy (i.e. being on stage in front of a massive crowd cheering you on)
>Accomplishing something very few or even nobody ever has before
>Fully realising yourself in something you love doing, whatever the fuck that might mean to you (music, sports, art etc.)
i really enjoy just cutting a hole in a frozen pig carcass and fucking it until its warm, or you know, a post op trap.
(at least the trap can't rape a baby from you by faking birth control)
at least if they keep their cock its something new and different and you can give them reach arounds, gobbies, and have your prostate massaged. 69s, and "she" got no fucking choice but to take that mother fucker straight in her poop shoot, coving your member in nothing but Grade. A. Scat.
eating drug coated celery while fucking 2 women on a jet ski that is being pulled by four great white sharks through a lava stream coming out of an erupting volcano which is situated on a space station that orbits planet Jupiter which is in the process of being torn apart by the gravitational power of a gigantic black hole that is OP's gaping asshole
>when the enemy owns you early and trashes you up until 40 minutes
>they start pushing tier 3 mid after spending the last 23 minutes sitting in jungle farming their stupid ship
>tfw you are a level 17 enigma with a blink, scepter, and a bkb on a team with ES and Zeus, and death prophet
>you jump in from high ground and drop the most brutal 5 man black hole that has ever been dropped in the history of Dota 2, followed by a Zeus veil drop and ult refresher ult, followed by death prophet ult and nuke, followed by es blink ult and double stun
>everything is perfectly synchronized
>you carry void does literally nothing as he's fed 23 kills to the enemy yolo diving tower and chronoing their WD without a MoM
>still doesn't have MoM. Built Dominator, phase, and battle fury instead
>push mid and end game after the enemy buys back and gets immediately wiped by yet another black hole from the refresher that you just bought from all the streak end gold you just got
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little scrub? I’ll have you know I scored top of my mmr in the Ranked Scene, and I’ve been involved in numerous 5v5 teamfights against boosters, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in ganking and I’m the top sniper in the entire game of Dota 2. You are nothing to me but more food. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this game, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over All Chat? Think again, scrub. As we speak I am contacting my support and looking at the wards all over the map and your position is being watched right now so you better prepare for the stormspirit gank, scrublord. The stormspirit that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your unreliable gold. You’re fucking dead, noob. I can be anywhere, anytime with my boots of travel, and I can kill you in over 4 different ways, and that’s just with my hero's abilities. Not only am I extensively farmed, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Secret Shop and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hero off the face of this map, you little cyka. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have said it in team chat. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn scrublord. I will cast dagon level 5 all over you and you will watch your health bar melt. You’re fucking ganked, kiddo.
When you're horny, nothings better.
Although when you're starving, nothings better than food, so that really isn't fair.
There are so many things better than sex with a woman when you're not in the mood.
Skiing/Snowboarding (Insert your favorite hobby here)
A really nice dinner
Hanging with your best friend
Playing with a puppy of your favorite breed
A p2p Runescape subscription
The list goes on lads
>be navy seal
>graduated top of my class
>involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda
>have over 300 confirmed kills
>trained in gorilla warfare
>top sniper in the entire US armed forces
>little bitch fucker thinks that he can get away with saying shit to me over the internet
>contacted my secret network of spies across the USA
>traced his IP
>create a powerfull storm that's capable of wiping out the life of the pathetic little shit
>that kid is fucking dead
>be able to be anywhere, anytime
>be able to kill in 700 ways with my bare hands
>be able to access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps
>be able to wipe his miserable ass off the face of the continent
>that little shit
>bring down unholy retribution upon him for his little “clever” comment
>if he only knew, he would of held his fucking tongue
>so now the goddamn idiot pays the price
>shit fury all over him so he drowns in it
>he is fucking dead
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
>Pic Related: It's me and my bitch
you either have a very hard time getting laid or have not have sex with the right women.
Sex > all, except maybe some drugs, don't know, have not done more than weed, speed & alcohol.
>winning the lottery
>watching a really good TV show
>watching a really good movie
>succeeding at moving shit with your mind
>the feeling of a really big victory
>winning a really close game
same goes for me.
the ones can getting that up probably took xtc with meth in it.
Taking percocets, having a job that pays over 100k a year on salary.
Honestly I'm over sex, if I could trade being a virgin for making 100k a year & being able to take percocets everyday. I would
These are actually good.
My favorites in this thread.
Dude, calm down with your edgy teen attitude. There a about a billion things that are better than sex (see the above quotes: above).
Let me tell you this, as a guy that can control his ejaculation and orgasms willingly.
SEX is a shit. Women are shit at it, more than you think. I met about one women that was worth, I mean, really WORTH putting in the effort and all to fuck her/to be with her and that turned out to be a serious relationship later on (now my ex) and we were a couple for 2 years.
>List things better than sex with a woman
These dubs checkem!