Girl I'm in love with, and have a chance of being with, has rather serious BPD. I've heard this can really cause a relationship to fucking suck.
Do any of you guys have any experience with girls with BPD. Is it worth trying to get into a relationship with her? Should I get out before she fucks me up?
pic not related.
Just don't do it. I've done it before and it was dreadful.
Any stories you care to share, anon?
Not the same guy but the advice here is sound. Hook up with her by all means anon, but observe her and think hard abt it before relationship. She'll be a trainwreck at times, but the worst thing is that she'll have a free pass for her shitty behaviour cos at the end of the day she can blame it on her mental illness and make you look like the bad guy for not 'sticking by her'
Yeah that makes a lot of sense. It does seem like a real coincidence that every single one of her previous boyfriends is a dirtbag, maybe that's not the case after all. Thanks anon.
Male here with BPD.
From my stand point on how I am with the disorder. Like i've butchered relationships easily. Mainly because its hard to connect to a person who can feel all you can't feel.
Personally I wouldn't get into a relationship with a person with BPD unless they were actively seeking help for the disorder.
Somethings I fought with myself over in a relationship.
Trust: As with a disorder I don't trust others easily or at all. This happens to be one of the key killers of relationships. Typically I meet all my partners words with some form of cynicism that makes me think otherwise.
Emotions: Emotions and the lack of during things such as fights or arguments. The problem here is saying the wrong thing and thinking it doesn't matter that much. Often a big kicker with me. I tend to be very harsh cause everyone else is a feelz pussy.
Being to blunt: you can't do this with women. They're fuckin touchy...
Just know like if you are going to persue this chick. Remember she isn't fully there. For people like us, its hard to value another person unless it's from a sexual (IE: Attraction) stand point.
So say you lose that appeal, then you'll typically lose your relationship.
Also remember your emotional qualities are a burden we don't have. So don't come dropping your luggage on our feet. We just don't understand it and its frustrating.
Lastly, someone with BPD can fall in love. It's hard to do but its also really easy to relasp back into that borderline function. Making the person seem cold or distant. Just remember not to freak out if it happens. Let that person be and they may come back around. But all in all its a very grey area and each person with the disorder suffers in a different way.
For me its just I don't care. I don't mind other humans but I don't care about the tediousness of learning a person.
For others it can be so extensive that they may not be who they think they are (psycholoical breaks).
Thanks for sharing, anon.
I might avoid it now, since it seems it's only going to end in my pain. I don't want my first relationship to be a battle. I do love her, and want the best for her, but maybe getting with her isn't the best thing if I want to help. Thanks again, anon.
I almost understood what you said through the torrent of shit that you dropped onto the screen. What I got was: Why does it matter who I loose my virginity to? I don't know. Maybe because after a point, I might as well loose it to someone I love and am in a relationship with.
You don't want someone with BPD imprinting on you in any way.
BPD leads to obsessive thoughts and actions, self harm, and violence.
BPD is about as bad as it gets for a mental illness.
BPD is one of the diagnosis usually given to very violent criminals.
Stay the fuck out fam, this is no good.
Might want to consider moving to another state for a little while till she finds someone new to obsess over.
My buddy got diagnosed with it a few years ago. Here's what happened leading up to diagnosis
He took some friends shopping. He spent 2000$ on himself and them. Just buying them random shit.
Drove his car in a random direction till the gas ran out.
Was parked on country road. Decided to walk into the forest 99 steps for Wayne gretzkys #. Then 55 steps in another direction for his dad's age. Then 1989 steps for his birthday.
Came back to his car a hour later and the cops were there.
He threw a giant fit and started punching and kicking the cop car.
Broke bones in both hands.
We get a call a few days later to come see him in the nuthouse. Fucking locked down shit.
That was the beginning. Don't do it bro.
Well get to know her and keep a cool head. Relationships aren't meant to last forever, man. People come along as say "oh I like this about you. Let's go together for a bit." Then something new falls into the room and that person says "Now I like this and this about this one. I'll go with him for a little while."
Like if you aren't in your 40's or 30's. Don't settle down. You will only waste your time.
But other than that. Have fun with it. Fuck this chick and be a good friend to her or what not.
And lose your virginity. Don't be so fuckin modern. No one cares anymore, its 2016. We're all animals now.
Dated a girl with severe bpd for almost 2 years. The only thing I can tell you is that everything you've read is true, if you decide to be in a relationship with her be prepared to focus a severe amount of your life to her, because willingly or unwillingly you will become an emotional punching bag. And at the end she will drop you amazingly and make you feel like shit for her leaving you, eventhough you did everything in your power to make her as happy as posible .
I'm in the UK. Also, 17, so moving is not an option. Also this girl happens to be a very close friend of mine. I think I'll just back off from the relationship possibility. Thanks, anon.
Run away, or spend the next 5 years of your life in a hell that will teach you nothing you can use later in life (in a relationship with a normal girl). Absolute waste of time. Nothing but misery.
Been there, done that, ages 15-21. Only 6 months of which were spent officially dating her. The rest she just stringed me along and took advantage of me because I was in love with her. Soulless bitches. Stay away.
I think she's already taking advantage of my feelings for her. Probably should have thought about this before perusing her. Thanks /b/rother.
BPD, that shit is a fucking nightmare, if she's not on medication, she'll go batshit crazy and ruin shit, smash shit up dribble like a loon go on fucking rampages (Rampages of fucking) piss herself, talk endlessly (pressure of speech) scream the fucking house down (make the neighbours think you're beating her) be violent, lazy destructive, manipulative and just horrible.
Stay the fuck away.
I dated a girl with BPD once it was not good.
It was doubly bad as she was a true 9/10 if you were into tall goddesses she would be a 10/10. So she was already used to getting away with shit. So she was super socially manipulative without even realizing it, and uber selfish without realizing it.
The thing that broke the spell was she couldn't be bothered to hang out the night my best friend died when I actually could have used somebody.
Best advice OP is to have fun but be on the lookout.
it's too late
it was ever too late!
she will devour you soul!
So, if she's not on medication I should just back the fuck up? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I had a conversation with her recently and she said she didn't like taking her meds.
Dude she hasn't done anything that crazy YET. My buddy goes through months of being really normal. Then out of nowhere goes on a crazy bender of retarded shit.
Seccond time he got hospitalized. He was sending me pictures of girls he banged. He sent me 3 pictures within a few hours of him at a hotel with a random girl in each picture. I ask him wtf u doing at a hotel. Nigger is calling escorts. He spent the entire day and night fucking escorts. Dropped all his cash a few grand on different escorts over the course of 24 hours. Parents calling me and my friends looking for him. All of us have to tell them he's holed up in some hotel banging hookers lol.
Just don't do it.
No, they hate taking the meds, and to be honest when they're on meds they can be weird little fuck zombies.
If you want some harsh life experiences and some crazy stories to tell....then go for it, if you want to just fuck it, then fuck it and run.
if you want a nice normal life...cut your dick off and run away.
Yeah. That's what is making it so much worse. She's literally a fucking 10/10. Great body, great face, smashing tits. It makes it so much worse as well that she can actually be a really nice person. Fuck.
This poster speaks the truth. BPD girls are manipulative and selfish. Mine freaked when i left her and made up a bunch of shit to the cops! It was hard to explain my way out of it!
She's not done anything 'crazy'. She just seems to be manipulative and mean, etc. etc. It just sucks, because now I have to get over her.
I agree completely with >>665337792
I did the same thing and she was hot as hell. Out of my league, to be honest.
But she was manipulative to level of being considered legitimately sociopathic.
I was incredibly in love with her because I dealt with depression and she didn't judge me for my own mental stability. However, I never let it get in the way of how I treated her. I was always there for her.
The thing that broke the spell for me was that she cheated on me and I found out later that she had been cheating for months. Don't trust their kind. They're incapable of love.
based on the fact that a former best female friend of mine had BPD and I knew quite a few girls with the same diagnosis I can tell you with a certainty of 100%: YOU WILL REGRET IT
>cry way faster than normal women
>prone to violent thoughts and self-harming
>can't criticise them, NOT. AT. ALL.
>have to give compliments to even keep them alive
those people are the most difficult you can meet in your life. high irrationality meets high emotionality
Here's how easy it is to get over her.
Run for the fucking hills anon. Don't do it. I'm 36 and have been with plenty of women. BPD is the fucking worst. It's just not worth it, no matter how hot they are.
They will fucking ruin your life.
You know where you are, right?
Sure they need to be under care, but nobody is obliged in the slightest to love them. They ruin people around them. Even if it's not their fault at all, it's still everyone's best bet to avoid them if they value their own sanity.
I hate to break it to you bro but unless you have an iron will and literally unbreakable spirit a romantic relationship with a bipolar chick is going to be impossible to sustain. Speaking from a 4-year relationship experience.
She will almost definitely cheat on you eventually, and you can pretty much expect to at least be a verbal punching bag. If she's feisty you'll probably have to learn to dodge flying objects. Expect compulsive lying, even about stupid shit, and get ready for a temper tantrum if you confront them about it.
I still get calls occasionally. I haven't spoken to her in years and have made it abundantly clear I have no desire to, but I still get calls. 3 years.
>Girl I'm in love with
>Chance of being with
Are you fucking 12 years old? You're not with her. You don't love her.
You probably barely know jack shit about her besides what you learned stalking her on facebook.
And to answer your questions, it's clearly not worth it. If you can fuck her, fuck her. But don't get into a relationship with her.
All women are crazy, but when they're clinically crazy, it's even worse.
No, it's not. If you have to make excuses, it's obviously not that easy. You do know that that skit is supposed to be satire, and not actually taken seriously or given as actual advice?
well the advice stays the same
>lets forget for a second you are saying she has BPD to excuse the fact she isn't on your dick already
lets face it, she isn't on your dick, she isn't going to be on your dick, and all of this is just you trying to explore potential fantasy scenarios because nothing real is going to happen.
>give up, make a hot pocket, back to WoW or whatever the fuck it is you do when you aren't trying to project shit onto women who don't even know you exist.
guy you replied to
OP there was a small amount of time when things were really good with that girl. Was it worth the heartache? At the time no.
I have no idea why, but when she got an IUD and I was cumming in her like 2 or 3 times a day minimum she was always much better. I have no understanding how but sex and I HAD to cum in her stabilized her.
have fun in being friendzoned by every bitch you'll ever meet
You're making a lot of fucking assumptions. I know a lot about her. I know fuck all about relationships with people with BPD, that's why I'm here. Tune your fantastic mind reading abilities and try again, sourpuss.
Dated various girls with mental disorders:
It is good for you to get out ASAP, not in an asshole way, just break up and move on.
Furthermore: it's not helping the crazy member of a couple to keep it going. The stress and drama of a fucked-up relationship actually hurts them more in the long term than breaking up.
I think he is bang on. prove us wrong. text her, or call her. ask her out to dinner. or whatever suits.
if a text, post results.
if a call, follow up with a quick text changing the time, and post results.
>pics or it didn't fucking happen, and you are fucking delusional.
I am with him, not you. prove us wrong.
A lot of people are making a lot of fucking assumptions. We're actually really, really fucking close, though you won't believe that, because everyone on 4chan who isn't you is a beta cuck foreveralone faggot.
nice try. i'm cool as fuck, happily married, and very experienced.
>even if I wasn't, I'd be able to see through your bullshit, just like everybody else in this thread
In all honesty I'd say don't do it. You have no commitments to make to this woman, owe her nothing. The fact that you are having these doubts is normal, but you need to understand that there are millions of other women out there that would date you, you don't have to go for someone if you don't think it will work.
no way to prove it except giving OP the good advice (which we know is good, everybody is saying it) or starting to boast about my accomplishments which is not relevant.
>so yeah, its true.
>you can bang a BPD chic, but there is little hope of a good relationship.
Done in one.
Speaking from experience, yes, it's a helleuva ride, but if you're after a relationship as opposed to just sex & fun, then have a serious long think before you go down this path.
Good luck, OP!
Don't do it. Stay away from her. The first time a relationship felt like love was with a girl with bps. Like another anon said: first there was a honeymoon phase, but then it went down the drain with the speed of light. I got so incredibly attatched. I lost weight for her. After half a year I thaught of proposing to her (not at that point of time, but I thaught she was wife material).
But her bps always threw shadows on our relationship. She regularly burned herself whenever there was a problem (and not the bitchy attention shit. Nearly every time the doctors weren't shure, if they could save the arm, because she basically burned thru her hole muscles every time). It was hard, but I always stayed at her side when she cryed in the hospital. We had sex one time in over half a year, because she was absolutely scared of that. She always said she would try to change her view on sex. She was abused as a child and also in her first relationship she had, so she was double scared of physical contact. I never tried anything on her because I didnt want to lose her. But one time after a party we were a little drunk and had sex. About 3 weeks later (when she was in the hospital for the second time since we had sex) she broke up with me. I seriously thaught of killing myself (inb4 i'm a pussy). She was everything for me.
She seriously came up with all that lets stay friends bullshit (we were best friends before we got closer). And I was a pussy and tried to stay her friend, eventhou it felt like i was dieing every time i saw her, every tine she hugged me, every time i saw her with other guys.
A few weeks ago, about 6 months after our breakup, she just blocked my phone number wirhout any comment. Now I'm somewhere between feeling free and dieing inside.
Anyway. Op, dont do it. I dont know if she hurts herself. But even if she doesnt, dont do it. Maybe she's difderent, but maybe she's just like my ex.
I hope that no matter what you will do you both will be fine
Comment too long. Fuck you 4chan.
What I also wanted to say is, that bps (if shes really diagnosed and not just saying that) is some serious shit. Dont blame her for it. If there has been an event in her past that tiggered her bps, respect that. Its not her fault and she deserves a relationship like everybody elso, but you shouldnt suffer because of that.
My first relationship was a battle, and I didn't realize it until years into it. I did and do love her still, but I will never ever be with her again. Have a fling, get laid or whatever but be prepared to nope the fuck out when things get weird.