>Started classes last week
>Head to the lecture portion and sit in the back
>Grill from HS sits down in the next row
People told me she was into me during high school, but I always felt it was bullshit and they were just setting me up for a joke.
>She keeps stealing glances at me
>Prolonged eye contact a few times
>Lecture ends and I have to pass her to get out
>Neither of us say anything to each other
>Stares into my eyes for a good 7 seconds as I pass her
>Keep running scenarios where I ask if she went to X high school
>Oh yeah I remember you, small talk, ect
>Invite her to grab coffee or go to a batting cage or something to catch up
>Things hit off
I always set myself up for disaster in shit like this; I mean, why can't I just think about hanging out instead of what it'd be like to be in a relationship with any bitch that gives me the slightest attention. I just don't want to be alone anymore.
The only thing I can think of for the staring is that she remembers me, but doesn't want anything to do with me. I just hope I can get through this semester.
>was bullied constantly back in 7th-9th grade
>i would cope with it by making fun of my self because obviously it was fun for other people to make fun of me so why couldnt i?
>be 5years later
>at a party with friends
>ask why i constantly put myself down and that i should stop doing that
>"anon im so sorry"
>go to house with a couple of beers and drink the night away alone
It's not about being attractive anon trust me. I'm no looker but towards the end of 6th form I started to somehow be more social (probably thanks to having a small social group of friends but most those friends were quite popular) and made friends with girls. Just act 'normal' and treat them like anyone else.
I'm not that good looking and I'm pretty sure I've got a good chance with this hot girl, I can barely believe she's into me. (almost messed it up too with my autism)
Does any anon want to talk on kik? Please, if you consider self harm or suicide, or you need advice, hell even if you need a person just to talk to for ten minutes, I'm you're man. I want to help somebody /b/ros. Please leave your kik if you feel like you need to talk, or if you want somebody to talk to for a while longer then that.
here's a short story for you guys:
>be me, 10th grade.
>stoner, skater, the usual
>i had moved to this town 2 years ago, my mom got remarried.
>I had a few friends, but not much else.
>I liked a couple of girls, but they wouldn't give me the time of day.
>>I was still "the new kid", since I hadn't lived her my whole fucking life.
>Meet a cheerleader.
>She's cool. Doesn't mind that im an introvert, and socially awkward.
>After a couple of months of hanging out here and there, one of her friends tells me that she wants to date me.
>Tell stoner friends, they're totally against it.
>Tell me not to date her, I'll lose my few friends if I do.
>Decide not to date her, turn her down.
>She quits talking to me.
>Slowly forget about her after high school.
>See her 5 years later randomly.
>Catch up on life.
>She's smoking hot, happy life, career, all that shit.
>I'm still just coasting along.
>That was the last time I saw her.
>I don't know where she is now, but she's probably still happy.
>I'll always remember the last question she asked me: "What do think life would have been like if we had gotten together?"
>I didn't have an answer.
>I shouldn't have listened to my "friends" back then.
>I blew my chance at a dream girl.
>I will always wonder, "What if?"
Someone post a long greentext I haven't read yet so I can take a break from posting
You woke up to hate your life again
Feeling it's all been said and seen today
Woke up to fake your smile again
You're not the one; you're not the one
You feel bittersweet when others win
You'd rather see them fall than gain a thing
You know you're too afraid to fail
You're not the one; you're not the one
Slowly, slowly, more away' cause'
Maybe the diamonds are not for everyone
Maybe the lie you live is really all they want
You stay silent watching all dreams around you fading
Slowly, slowly, slowly more away
Anyone else feeling really shitty today or is it just me?
People on here are not your 'friends'.
They project their image of the average anon onto you but they have absolutely no idea who you as an individual are.
Chances are, if people don't like you irl, then people on here wouldn't either if they came face to face with you.
Since no one came to my thread. I'll say it here.
I've been feeling really down today /b/ros, if I ever decide to commit suicide I promise to livestream it for you guys.
Yesterday when I got off work, I had gone on a walk and cried for about 5 minutes, I'm probably going to do the same thing before I go to bed this morning, so no anon you're not alone
Allright, here we go.
>Be me, 18, gotta graduate next year
>Not really ugly or awkward but somehow never have had any girlfriend and barely kissed a girl
>There is this thing...Prom Night you call it? of those who graduate this year
>Friends talk to me to going there
>Gun get wasted
>Go there, what could go wrong, right
>Not really used to drinking
>10 PM and I am wasted already
>Drunk half of the bottle of vodka on my own
>Smiling like a fucking lunatic but others find it funny since I dont smile often
>Girl I, unfortunately for me, have feelings for is there with us
>You might see her as 8/10 or 9/10 but for me, she is 11/10
>Just me, her and three others
>Start chating a bit
>"I would really used a cigarete right now, do you have any, Anon"
>Lend a lighter from my friend and go out with her
>Keep chating while smoking
Now, I cant really remember the whole chat coz I was drunk but somehow, we get to talk about love (???) and shit around it, about one guy she had feelings for when she was younger.
>"Well, I mean, you could have him for sure. You could have any guy you want. You are smart, beautiful..."
>"Oh, Anon. You could get any girl you want as well"
>"No...I could not...I think we should head back inside"
>Try to leave but she doesnt move
>"Is it about me, Anon?"
>"What do you mean?"
>"I don´t want you to be down because of me. I feel really sad because you feel sad like this. I really care about you."
I don´t really remember what I said after that but I remember I tried to convince her to don´t feel bad about me that all I want is her to be happy.
Well, I spent rest of the evening throwing up on the toilets (not used to drink so much, remember) and completely blacked out but somehow managed to get home.
My question is, what the hell am I supposed to do about her now?
I know that this is hardly a problem and that most of you have way bigger troubles...but I feel hopless lately.
thank you very much, I know your life is uniquely difficult and to see you end it would make my life a little bit richer.
sake man grow the fuck up. You set your own standard in life; if you fantasize about killing yourself you've set the bar pretty goddamn low.
DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING. Life is what you make it.
trust me, you're not the only one feeling shit right now. Shit gets better, I promise.
Fuuuuuuuuuuu I'm late for this thread ;_;
I'm so sorry I can't really talk to any of you Anons, seeing this always breaks my hearth
I promise I'll be on here tonight trying to talk with as much of you as I can
I love you Anon-kun
i truly do
I don't give a single fuck if you believe my words or if you don't
at least i know i'm telling the truth
and that'll have to do for me today
I'll be back
I care <3
you can recognize me cause I'll upload this picture either to start a thread or just bump one
expect me, i will be here
Then I've spent years living through it too.
Don't give up, there's a small amount of girls who won't have any problem with your looks. You just need to find one. Maybe try something else than dating websites, girls there are shallow and all the attention goes up to their heads.
Except it isn't uniquely difficult, I'm just a weak little bitch almost crying about the littlest things. Shit can't get better if I don't decide to change it.
When I said OD on Helium I meant I'd try this.
As he was dying, my friend gave me an insulin needle.
I guess it meant a lot to him, and he wanted me to have it...
>Shit can't get better if I don't decide to change it
well, yeah, unfortunately some effort on your part will be involved. But it doesn't make sense to me; you're clearly not happy, so why wouldn't you take the steps towards making yourself happy.
The self-deprecation isn't helping. Yeah people will notice your down and will say encouraging things and whatever, but when's that kind of attention ever satisfied you? Words are inert, the only way things'll change is if you make the effort.
Do something constructive. Learn an instrument, get buff, take up a martial art. Cliche, but they're all things where you can gauge your progress that will improve your self esteem.
All you have to do is make the decision to change. The rest will fall into place
I have a good life. Friends, girls, family. Some might say fame. And yet I still want to be alone. Whenever I have no obligation to come out of my room, I will not. And I revel in these threads, been crying for an hour now reading feels stories and thinking of my sad experiences. What is it about isolation and sadness that keeps bringing us back to it?
I don't know about you guys, but this always makes me down
For me, It's consistent.
It'll beat us down and make us drink, but at least we can't hope and think shit will change. No rejection and no ostracization for trying to improve on yourself, to reach out and try to make a connection with someone.
Alone I have my only two friends who listen to me, vodka and my computer. And the sad part?
I actually feel comforted when I hug my liquor.
The sadness is good. Tears are good. Self deprecation is even good because it is evaluation. It's the fear in all these stories that scares me. I've had imaginary friends who have left forever. Same with real ones. Loved and lost. Loved and then abused. Loved and then lost that person to a death. Pets, gfs, non gfs, thoughts of what could have been. In short, I'd say I've lived at least 80% of the stories here. But I always go back to people. To life. Yes, I hibernate at times. But I always go back. How many of you have never even tried because of fear? (No judgment. Just curious)
So, any of you have problem with overthinking and overanalyzing too? I think too much about everythink, looking for secret motives and shit like that even tho theres nothing like that.
It has been so many years since I last cried that I don't even remember.
This thread hits a bit too close to home...
I'm honestly a bit surprised how it's possible that I haven't offed myself yet.
These used to be my thoughts. Until I cried because I bottled it up too much. And I thought of all the loved ones I'd hurt. All of the complications that come with a sudden suicide. All of the selfishness.
Yeah, I think I know that old "what if" feeling
The endless hours staring at the ceiling thinking the infinite number of possibilities that you have wasted, yeah I think I know that
This makes me very sad.
Also makes me wonder if depressed people have a stronger feeling that people don't care about them.
I think that people do care, well, I think that actually the only one caring about me are my mom and my ex-girlfriend, but the joy of every funny moment with my friends gives me the strength to go on with life and accept that there will be almost no one caring about me.
How about you? I'm interested how you think about this.
So many people have told me that, but then you wonder why they aren't doing something other than 'you deserve better'.
Yall should get your life togehter i know its hard geting the motivation to do something its risky at times but at least its gonna be hard i myself am at that point right now new job gota get a new apartment and hopefully at some point again someone who loves me in this fast evergrowing world dont get overwelmed with all this crap make it step by step exit out of your comfort zone and learn to live with the fact that most of us are meaningless cogs in this giant machine nothing more
going to keep this short
>have shitty childhood messes with my head
>now i don't remember anything unless it was a shitty memory from then
>skip to high school wont take anybody's kindness just give straight dick reply
>thinking everybody is just here to fuck with me
>end of junior year kid wont leave me alone names tyler
>he thinks i am cool duhfuk.jpg
>start seeing the good in people
>tyler drops to druggy after high school ruins his goal
>skip to now have 2 people i can call real friends
>my head still fucked having friends don't help
>tfw if tyler wouldn't have talked to me ever i would be alone like how my brain screams for
>want to just end it but can't do that to my mother
>my grandpa and his sister died this year 2 weeks apart
>been waiting 12 years now for my mother to leave or die then will post here again where i belong
Everyone tells you you're nice = 0 real friends, you have only acquaintances
Everyone tells you you're an asshole = you have enemies
People tell you your faults while still hanging around you and having a good time = friends
>be me in elementary school, live in a shitty house but my parents never neglected me the house was just shit
>dont easily make friends feel different because other people have clean clothes and shit
>meet my first friend j he protects me from bullies and shit, i was a little sensetive
>best friends until he gets expelled in the fifth grade for giving some kid laxative (lols)
>still hang out through middle school, he moves to a pretty far town
>go see him maybe once in the 8th grade, drop communication, i was never good at that.
>years pass without talking
>one day our mutual friend messages me on facebook
>"Hey man i've been talking to j he really wants to get in touch with you, you should message him"
>tell him i will but dont message j and totally forget
>two days later mutual friend calls me to tell me j got hit by a car and died while changing his tire, fucker that hit him still hasnt been caught
>we both laugh on the phone and acknowledge we probably shouldn't be laughing.
>go to halloween party but i cant have a good time
>all i can think about is how i never messaged him
I miss you Jeremiah
I miss watching horror movies and Monty python and ren and stimpy late at night.
sorry i never messaged you man.