Secrets Thread >Post your Greentext confessions

>I secretly enjoy soiling my pants.

>I like to rub my dick on my cat.

>>664591445
>im an ABDL
my immediate family and very few friends know. its a secret to everyone else though

Ever since serving on the jury for a child abuse case and seeing the evidence, I've been addicted to CP, and it's insanely easy to find on the old gnuttella torrent network using older versions of torrent clients

The suicide of my wife's ex-husband was not suicide.

My ex was murdered by my new spouse but instead of bringing us together, it just made us grow cold and distant and I'm too afraid to leave him for what he might do.

When u was in the military I got my hands on a bio weapon made from smallpox. I released it last week at the mall. Made sure at least a hundred random people were exposed.

I've killed you all.

>I am psychopath
>I wanna end my non-existence on this world every day

>>664592388
kill yourself

>>664592421
Same here

>>664592015
Kill yourself

>>664592388

Yeah, me too.

I raped and killed a women. No one knows it, not even my wife who im happily married to since 35 years.

I secretly want to be a normie but people can't stand me
drugs only get me more depressed

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>>664592044
>>664592374
I get the feeling these two know each other

My ex wife was a hooker. I kidnapped her and tortured her to death. I made hamburger out of her arms and legs and fed my neighbors her remains. I even fed her to her children. They had second helpings of meatloaf from momma.

>>664592044
>>664592374
ayy lmao

>>664591757
Advanced
Bisexual
Dick
Licker

What kind of secret is that, faggot?

>>664592803
what made you kill tho?

>>664592839

Nah.

>>664592839
goddamn it darko, go back to your own dimension

>be me
>be 18
>be sitting next to hot girl in friend's basement
>friend leaves for bathroom
>mfw I have to shit
>mfw my friend has one bathroom and it's upstairs
>mfw I have no shit face
>girl asks question trying to converse I think
>say sure, don't know wtf she actually said
>puts hand on my leg
>turns my head
>starts to make out with me
>sweat pouring off of me
>can't hold it
>pants have been shat
>raise up off of couch cushion slightly
>girl smells it and scowels at me
>abruptly say bye
>run up the stairs to my car
>drive home and wipe shit off my own balls cause I'm an adULT AND I DON'T NEED HELP MOM GO AWAY
>friend texts me asking what happened
>girl said I freaked out about my first kiss so bad I shat myself
>now bros make fun of me
>say it's for shits & giggles
>tell girl what happened later
>she tells her friends
>whole school knows I shat my pants
>at graduation peers make fart noises instead of applause when I walk

>>664592374

I'd have thought you'd have found a way out in the last 22 years pet.

But hey... You know where the door is.

>>664593004
NIGGERS GTFO

>i pissed inside a winebottle which had wine in it.
>grandma drank it

>>664592604
/b/ro, I try every fucking day to improve something but I feel like no matter what I do I still feel empty and emotionless.

>>664592911
Child abusing slut

ITT: So You Think You Can Edge

>>664593059
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
jk man I've shat my pants during math class just because I was too embarrassed to shit in the school toilets

one time at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy

>>664591445
> Be 12 year old me
> summer camp
> ihatemom.mp3
> "you're going anon you need to spend some time in te wild"
> "But mom i want to rot my brain wit vidya gaems"
> "you're going, there and you're going to like it "
> Fuckmylife.exe
> Warm day, fresh air and shit
> "Form groups you little fags" says the camp counselor
> tfw i have 1 friend and he is already in a group
> "Join us anon" says my friend
> few days go by, friendship between group and me slowly developing
> "In order to not get lost you can only leave the main group in pairs" says the camp counselor
> darkest of nights
> friend needs to pee and naturally asks me to go wit him
> Call him a faggot and try to go back to sleep
> Friend insists
> Give up and go with him
> Start following him
> Walk for nearly half an hour
> "Where the fuck do you want to go to pee? in your fucking house?"
> "Shut up anon you will wake up everyone"
Continues...

>>664593215
So just think of it like Dexter, but also a rapist

>>664593059
aw you poor soul im so sorry kek

>>664593444
Go on

>>664592015
Perhaps at your trial another juror will become addicted and the cycle will repeat.

>I once beat a retard with a rock in a sock while he was sleeping.
>be at camp, 13yo
>retard shits himself and we have to evacuate the whole mess hall while they clean it up
>I've had enough of his slack jawed retard expressions
>he tries to go hiking with us, say fuck that to him
>at night I find his bunk and beat the shit out of him
>I could hear him screaming and crying
>next day he goes home

>Raped the ugly girl in the friend group.
>Told everyone she was rapecalling.
>She has a breakdown, starts popping valium like tic tacs.
>Nobody speaks to her anymore. She literally spent new years alone.

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>>664591445
>people think Im happy
>Im not

>>664593488
Hey, it was free pussy, begars can't be chosers

As a DirecTV tech I would install at people's houses. While I was working I'd look at their family photos. If the wife was hot, or if they had a hot daughter in middle or high school, and if they were getting a reciever in their room, I'd steal their panties, clean or dirty and jackoff into them. Sometimes I'd use the daughters restroom and jackoff into the sink and roll their toothbrush in my cum and put it back.

>>664593802
Whoa watch it everybody, Robin Williams just entered the building.

>I judge other people because people should be treated like shit so they can over come it.

>>664594042
You have already posted that

>>go to yankees game last summer cuz I'm a baseballfag
>>tailgating beforehand
>>line for portapotties is like 30 people long
>>cops everywhere (for security, first yankees/mets series of the season) so i'm nervous to piss not in the portapotty and get arrested for public urination in the middle of the Bronx
>>finally gets to the point after 15 or so minutes in line that i can;t hold it anymore
>>sprint to secluded area and immediately whip out dick
>>relief from pissing is so immense that all my body's muscles relax (keep in mind I'm also like 8 beers deep at this point in the tailgate)
>>even anus muscle relaxes
>>shart in my pants. A LOT
>>panic
>>leave tailgate lot
>>buy random pair of shorts from the first bodega i see that has clothes
>>remove old shitty pants and boxers in an alleyway
>>clean ass with pants leg
>>ditch shitty pants and underwear behind a pile of trash
>>proceed to go into the stadium and watch the entire game with no underwear on
>>only 1 person knows (my buddy who I went to the game with and swore to secrecy)

I browse reddit and 4chan at the same time

>be me
>have dumb boss
>tell boss that grandpa died
>get day off
>fuckyea.dll

I made a tard in my school paralyze a guy for life:
>kid named Jeff is one of those bros who is half jock half homosexual, acts like a fag all the time and just might actually be gay but is too much of a shithead to take seriously
>always giving me shit for one reason or another
>junior year, insanely stressed from midterms/relationship troubles/idiots at school
>enter: Caleb
>Caleb was a special needs kid everybody knew to be stronger than Brock Lesnar on angeldust if you got him riled up
>encounters with Caleb were unpredictable and horrifying
>usually he was not let outside of class with fewer than 4 wranglers, and two of them were essentially bouncers
>Caleb at one point learned to calm whatever enraged him, and so security became lax
>Junior year Jeff is up to his old stupid shit
>grabs my ass
"hey anon stop being so fucking gay"
>punch him in the chest because I'm not putting up with his shit today
>Jeff goes to grab my junk and I jump backwards to avoid it
"Seriously Jeff what the hell is wrong with you?" I asked him
>no actual answer, same shit as usual
>I knew this was going to end only on graduation when one of us left the state
>oh look it's Caleb
>Caleb is unsupervised
>I have a 50/50 chance here
>Jeff is heading towards the stairs
>I get Caleb's attention
>point to Jeff
"that guy's a bad bad man Caleb" I whisper to him, and point at Jeff "get the bad guy!"
>faster than my own brain could process, Caleb left a Caleb-shaped cloud of dust as he launched himself towards Jeff,
>screaming in his ancestral tongue a warcry- the only words of which I could decipher were
BAD MAN!
>Caleb flung himself towards Jeff and tackled him down the flight of steps, trying and possibly succeeding in beating the unsuspecting shit out of him.
>I did not stick around to watch what went down
CONTINUED

"> I like to get fucked in the ass by strangers on craigslist"

I leave blinds so my teenage next door neighbor can watch my wife shower, change, have sex etc. she has no idea

Break down of my porn folders:

>12 pictures of Latinas
>19 pictures of Nigresses
>23 pictures of Asians
>219 pictures of Whites
>1,678 pictures of Hentai/R34

>>664593444
sorry i can't really type fast
> Continues walking for a while until we reached a small cave
> "Why are we doing this?"
> "Stop whining so much anon, trust me this is gonna be awesome"
> "It better be"
> We entered the small cave and ketp going for a while
> we reached a spot that had a small waterfall
> He told me to crouch and walk slowly to not make too much noise
> In front of us there was a group of girls bathing
> Boner level over 9000
> We both engage in self loving action
> Mood starts getting weird
> He is not staring at the girls
> R.I.P boner
> Can't say anything because the situation downed on me
> face gets hyper red
> friend keeps going
> Brain.exe stopped working would you like to send a report?
> Friend approaches me
> Grabs my manhood
> Brain.exe is still not working
> most awkward handjob ever
> i'm paralised, i can't do anything
> to not turn this into a crappy fanfic lets say that we both lost our virginities there
> After all that was over friend told me to keep this a secret

it's been 10 years since that happened and to this very day we never spoke again

recently he invited me to his wedding but the memories do not allow me to have a proper conversation with him

TL;DR

my first sexual experience was a gay one

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>>664591445
I drowned a cat in a pool when I was 19

>>664595133
Conclusion:
>Caleb was seriously fucked up from his own injuries, now with 30% more seizures
>Jeff thought I had something to do with it, but couldn't prove anything but the fact he grabbed my ass,
>Jeff was paralyzed from the attack, having been sandwiched between the flying body of Caleb and a flight of stairs
>Did not actually see Caleb for about 3 months after the incident
>when I did he had an entourage of wranglers with him
>I often think about this story and imagine that it could have been me that got attacked. I took a chance and Caleb figured I was speaking the truth.
Jeff never tried grabbing my ass or junk again, thanks to that brave hero Caleb.

>>664593443
Did it feel like warm apple pie?

>>664591650
Don't we all

ops a faggot

>>664595631
>lol my niggaa, yes it did.

>>664595549
haha faggot.

>>664591445
I am secretly a muslim but hide because of all the fascists in my country.

Been in love with my best friend since we were little.
She got into an abusive relationship a few years ago. Was beyond furious when I found out.
One day he beat her real bad, and she went to stay with my sister for a few days.
He was still carrying on like normal, going to work and everything.
I followed him after he got off work the next day
Threw on a ski mask, walked up behind him as he was about to get in his car
"Hey fucktard"
Voice came out super testosteronifically deep, I don't think he recognized it
Slammed his head into the side mirror, proceeded to beat the shit out of him, then broke both of his arms and stabbed him a bunch of times while he was down
Took his wallet and phone to disguise it as a botched mugging, kept the cash and threw them in a park trash can
No one ever found out it was me.
He survived (holy shit, right?), but my friend gained a stroke of courage when she saw he wasn't untouchable, and gained the courage to leave him.
She's been happier since then. I think I did the right thing.

>i got hair ON my dick. Not much, but its there

I am an ableist transphobic patriarch.

>>664593775
Fucking terrible

You should kill yourself

>>664591445
>I love my gf but I masturbate on my bf's gf.

>>664596685
you absolutely did. Or would have, if this wasn't an unbelievable lie

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i sucked enough dick to win a bunch of reality tv show bullshit. still doin' it!

>beat my gf dog
>banged the shit out of my best friends 16 year old slut of a daughter

>>664596828
Could't rape a hottie, people might believe them tard.

>>664596685
AND WORKING OVERTIME!!!!

>>664596702
Normal,

>>664596828
usually, i'd say that you're a white knight, but i'm with you on this one.

I have a big-time shoe/foot fetish. I took eight pairs of my roommate's shoes and use them as cum dumpsters. I still cum in the shoes she wears occasionally. She's now the wiser.

>>664594871
Are you me?

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I have sex with Grandma

I was groomed and molested by a much older female friend of the family. We've been fucking on and off ever since.

I once broke the bro code...

>>664598081
did you turn around and lock eyes in a two man threesome?

May come off as humble bragging, but I'm smart (at least enough to be getting a biochem doctorate and publications) have friends, am good looking and in shape, box for fun and have won some ammy comps, can cook...etc

Everyone always thinks I'm happy or a popular kid, but really just anxious and sad. I fucking hate being around other people but also feel needy so the result is I go out and force a default smile on at all times, but just feel like crying and running away all the time

result is I often disappear in the middle of parties and ppl think it's just, me being silly me, but half the time I'll retreat to my house tonjust cry or some weird gay shit I'm too embarassed about to ever tell anyone.

Have tried committing suicide (the right way diagonally too, but was caught through rather silly luck), now realize how sefish it would be to do that while my parents are still alive and care about me so I just try to get through, unil there's no one left I'd hurt that I feel I owe

Still hve friends, both work and otherwise, still put on a smile, still doing well at work, and I guess I've kinda just convinced everyone I only had a bad, "physical bout" of depression and snapped out of it, but I still sleep less than an hour a day and I still dream about offing myself pretty endlessly.

Nothings changed really. Not a virgin and can date well, but I could never open up so I Just end up breaking off relationships and am practically MGTOW at this point (not for faggy MRA reasons but just not wanting another attachment I can hurt down the line)....

Iunno, wierd feeling like everythings going well and having everyone think you've got it all, but not being able to use any of your assets because you cant go a minute without wanting to off yourself.
>Can make friends but to sad too have fun with them
>Can fuck and meet girls but too sad to stay with them
>In shape and can do sports but too emotional to ever commit
>Feels bad man, just hoping for natural death

>>664591445
i once had sex with my boss for a promotion

>>664598421
>humble bragging
stopped reading

>>664596685

Works of fiction and all that? lol

>>664595606
Outta curiosity, assuming this might be true, how did you have such pull with caleb?

I doubt a retard would just listen to a rando without some level of trust or familiarity

>>664591445

> be me in college
> strong rape fetish, especially by old fat guys
> eventually imagine myself as the girl
> fuck it go on craiglist
> m4m.jpg
> pretty much arranged with first guy that replied
> exchange pics he has a large thick dick and is fat and hairy i'm turned on as fuck
> go over
> have a couple of drinks talk over roleplay scenario
> he ties me up goes shower
> he comes and teases me
> hard as fuck
> he gives me a blowjob I cum
> after i cum have absolutely zero sex drive for this shit
> ask to be let go
> he ignores me and fucks me in the ass
> hurts like fuck whatever
> he cums in me claims I'm now his
> ask to be let go again he goes and watches tv
> pretty much raped me 2 more times
> confused cause was horny throughout
> he takes pictures of my leaking ass and license

I went back a few more times cause I was afraid of him posting it on the net....I'm not fucked psychologically and am not a pedo or suicidal as a result but it was a weird ass experience.

>>664598506
Good thing this is an anonymous board where I can get something off my chest, and I couldn'f give half a fuck if some anon reads it ;(

>>664598421
>Says he is smart
>Fucks up at least two oxymoron

>>664591445
i once fucked a retarded girl, she never understood what i did to her.
i feel like trash to this very day

>>664593775
Youll get yours someday
Get checked for cancer now

>>664598421
thats fcked man. Just drink yourself to death or do it so it's like an accident

>>664598421
Same situation here bro'! Smart, good looking, "great" life in the eyes of others but still wanting to end it

>>664598881
I watched the way he reacted to others in school during lunch and noticed he was easily excitable but violent as fuck.

I made an educated guess that saying something like "GO GET IT BOY!" and pointing, the way you do with a pet dog would possibly work.

It did, thank god. Otherwise I would have been on the other end of that beating.

But he always reacted to whatever people pointed at.

>Be 20 Britfag
>Been cheated on twice, so relationships are fuckin' peachy
>Go to this local bar with a few co-workers, apparently I need to get out more
>justwanttogohomeandsleep.exe
>throughout the night a 8/10 female co-worker's giving clear indications of her interest in me, staring and smiling at me alot, all of that shit
>Have this passive aggressive anger against women due to the cheating exes
>female co worker buys me a drink
>"Hey anon, get this down ya"
>ohthatsweirdbutthanks.dll
>"Hm? Last time I checked, guys were meant to buy the drinks"
>"What's wrong with me getting to a drink?"
>At this point I'm on my final legs of tolerance
>"Nothing, thanks for the drink"

Continue?

>>664593750
Kill yourself you unapologetic faggot

>>664595605
Just don't think about it too much anon

>>664599377
go on...

>>664599125
When I'm alone all I can do is cry and think of death ... or work, work gets my mind off it.

When I'm with people, I'm sweating, I'm nervous and I'm terrified of being rejected or kicked out. So itms never pleasant. In fact it's nerve wracking.

But I wont cry in front of others, and I focus on trying to be liked and trying not to spaghetti, and so it counter-intuitively gives me a respite from my own thoughts I often feel overwhelmed by...

I'm sorry that real emotions are more complex than I r happsy or I R SADS, but that's how most ppl work

When I was younger I was staying the night at my aunts house. I overheard somebody mention a "blowjob" and had no idea what they were talking about. I asked my older cousin and he told me he'd show me.

For the next few years he made me blow him and fucked me in the ass every time I came over. I hated it but I loved hanging out with my aunt.

>>664599377
I want to give your story a chance I think it's time to work on eliminating some unfounded hostility between US an UK /b/tards

>>664599575
As for the relationships, I can start fucking or being with women, but the moment they realize I never sleep, constantly need to seclude myself since I can't handle crying or showing emotions in front of others, and often work for days straight on end it ends up dissolving.

Tried sharing my situation with one gf and got ripped apart for it, so I've just become resigned now.

Work is my main method of forgetting myself now, no more girls, and less and leas friends as I become less able tohandle thenstress

>>664599608
man or woman, I need to know if this is hot af or if you're a faggot

>>664599047

IS YOUR FACE AS BROKEN AS YOUR BULLSHIT CAREER AND ARE YOU ARE DISRESPECTED BY YOUR PEERS AS BY EVERYONE ELSE NICE PARTY FAG

>be me, 17
>9/10 girl that I used to have a crush on when we were both 14 starts conversation
>ohshit.jpeg
>starts telling me how she always fancied me
>literally had spent 3 years fapping to her fbk pictures
>talk for about 2 years, but don't see eachother
>I go to uni, she goes to uni
>thisismychance.png
>planned to see her a couple of weeks in advance
>I go out one night and bang the dirtiest skank, 3/10 at most, who cares, had sex etc
>wake up the next morning, cock on fire
>can't get an appointment with cock doc for ages
>get treated, but told not to bang for a couple of weeks
>go see this girl anyway, get straight down to it as soon as I get through the door
>she's wanking me off until I'm about to cum, then suggests sex. I tell her I'll bust instantly, she's not having that, jumps on with a condom
> .... obviously blow my load asap
>she says we can fuck again without a condom
>I tell her I can't because I'm too embarassed (rather than give her chlamidya)
>her best friend went to uni with me, told everyone

I let everyone I know think I was an impotent beta than give a girl the clap.

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got some incest from an earlier thread I can post

One of my friends married a girl we both went to primary school with.

I've been fucking her since we were all 12.

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>>664600165

>>664593386
wtf, elaborate.

>>664597814
Depends... Are you top kek?

>>664600037
Youre a good guy for it. I tip my hat to you

>>664600425

You know nobody's reading this shit, right?

>>664599904
I won't give you the satisfaction.

>I forced my little sister to give me a blowjob....

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>I am Doge

>>664600521
lol not really, if I was a good guy I probs wouldn't have gone anywhere near her in the first place. also never spoke to her again which probs fucked her up a bit. didn't even stay the night

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>>664591445
>Post your Secrets Thread
>Post your Height Thread
>Post your Face Thread
>Post your Dick Thread
>Post your Stories Thread
>Post your Eyes Thread

How many Data Mining Threads will it take for you people to wake up and stop mindlessly giving up your data?

>>664601196

Because acronym agencies are interested in the fact that I occasionally fuck my mate's wife.

>>664601196
I think your tinfoil hat is starting to make you a little rustled m8.

>>664600543
somebody is, this is 4chan and 4chan runs on incest.

>>664591445
> Be 26 year old me
> About to gain my magical powers
> Depressed
> Friend tells me "Dude just pay for a hooker, don't go wizard"
> But.. feelings
> "Aw come on anon stop being a faggot"
> "But friend i..."
> "You know what,fuck it i am taking you to a brothel"
> In the outskirts of town was I, a faggot and my friend a normie
> Enter the brothel
>smokealloverthefuckingplace.exe
> Friend points to a 8/10 and a 9/10 and asks me to choose one
> "But friend, i think they are the most expensive ones around here, and i'm pretty low on cash"
> "Don't worry anon i got your back"
> pick the 9/10
> Girls come to us and we chill for a while
>"Welp anon i am going to do business with my friend over here, you should do the same"
> Panic.exe is in overclock mode
> 9/10 smiles and says
> "Shall we go, anon?"
>"su... sure"
> heart beating faster than the speed of sound, i can hear mini sonic booms inside myself
continues...

>>664594329
Ausfag here, what is tailgating. Is it where everyone has a BBQ in the car park before the game? I only saw it on the simpsons

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>>664601078

>>664601477

fucking your friend's wife is adultery, not incest.

>>664601963
Exactly

>>664602177
are you illiterate or just a retard

>>664593059
Kek'd

>>664599167

she's gonna kill you bruh

>I have a chronic dating problem >dated two guys in less than 3 months
>not a slut though, still a virgin

>>664594329
LOL why does everyone shit themselves???

>>664597964
Is it good?

>>664599377

Sorry, was on the bog.

>"It's alright"
>The bitch hangs about
>Have little to no will power to talk, tired as a used up cunt
>"So what've you got planned for this weekend. Anything special?"
>"Nope."
>"Oh! So you're free"
>OHJESUSFUCKINGCHRISTWHY.jpeg
>"As far as I'm aware."
>Her face luminates like the Northern lights, the sparkle of hope in her eyes is near to perfection, essence of pure happiness are about.
>"Well anon... me and a few mates are going to [Insert nightclub name here] this Saturday, you feeling up to it?"
>"Listen love, you don't have a chance. Just walk away while you have your pride."
>dreamsutterlyshatter.mp4
>After that she walked off without saying a word, she told her friends straight away though, so I was getting death stares all through the night.

>>664600457

Try me, nigger

I cheated on my (now ex) bf two times, idk why, I really loved him. What's wrong with me ?

We break up for other reasons

>>664595545
>Nigresses

>>664591445
STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far of miles.

>>664601196

y john ded tho

>>664603370
I'm about 3 keks away from busting out the navy seal copypasta on you faggot ass

>>664602632

are you clueless or willfully ignorant

>>664603223

take mushrooms and talk to a god then you'll shit yourself at least figuratively

>>664595549
...

>>664603610

DO IT FAGGOT

>>664595606
>Jeff never tried grabbing my ass or junk again, thanks to that brave hero Caleb.
You paralised him for grabbing your ass? Why didn't YOU fight him, you fucking pussy?

>>664596685
You're an anti-hero.

>Fucked a 16 year old on tinder and became fwb with her. She doesn't know where i truly live or any info about me.

>>664598020
sad

>>664592015
Dude its easy as hell, step 1 omegle step 2 put cp in interests bar step 3 find dropbox links. Been doing that for years and easy af

>>664601939
> We reach the door to the room where my virginity would soon be dead
> 9/10 opens the door lets me in and
>*click*
> the door is locked
> heart is beating so fast i can feel my veins nearly bursting because of the pressure
> 9/10 asks
> "So... friend told me you were a virgin, is that true?"
> "N...no"
> Voice is too weak, can't talk properly
> "Don't worry anon, it will be fun"
> Body is overheating, i am drenched in sweat
> 9/10 is undressing
> Boner is at 1000%
> Something is wrong
> 9/10's breasts were not at all natural
> Notice her body is a bit large
> She has enormous feet
> ...
> It's not a she
> ohcrap.png
> body is feeling weird
> Boner is not gone
> brain, why is the boner still here?
> mind is like
> NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE
> body is like
> "Don't worry anon i got your back...your back... your back... back"
> former 9/10 is now sucking me
> it'swrongbutilikeit.exe
> go all the way with former 9/10
> After the sin i commited my body was tired
> i passed out
> Wake up at own house
> friend is there
> he says
> "Sorry anon... i got carried away and... i thought you would get away and we would laugh about it later"
> "So, it was suposed to be a prank, friend?"
> "Yeah"

Former friend and i fought and we stopped being friends

>>664599167
If i could get my hands on you...

>>664602837
i don't thinks so, she can't even talk

>>664603755
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>faggot

>>664599571
Anon should fucking kill himself you stupid fucking nigger.

>>664599575
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKp2CrfmVfw

Introvert [Not so] fun facts: - If someone doesn't look you in the eye, if anything, they're trying not to act arrogant. - If someone wants to be alone, they're trying to find peace and quiet, not ignoring you. - Introverts really are paying attention, but they might not know what to say, and thus don't speak. - When they do speak, they often have interesting things to say. - Diffidence is not defiance. - Someone sitting in the corner at a gathering either didn't want to go, came there to be sociable, but don't know how, or just want to stay out of your way. Instead of thinking they're a buzzkill, go over and try to start a conversation with them. - On that note, judging a reserved person before talking to them, or telling them to be social will not make them any less reserved. In fact, it will make them more. - They often hate small talk, because they look for conversation with a purpose, and care not for what "Some crazy gurl said to you on Facebook". - Pointing out their introversion, or telling them to talk more often will nearly guarantee that they won't talk to you. - There is nothing wrong with them, so stop thinking that there is. - They usually don't waste their time telling you these things because they know you'll never understand.

>>664604384
so was she post-op or what?

>>664599608
No one casually says they were "fucked in the ass" like you did, so I think you're lying

>>664603303
Why didn't you just fuck her? She was rubbing your belly being nice to you- for once in your fucking life mind you, and you just spit in her face. Dick.

>>664605152
Nope, her dick was bigger than mine

>>664600190
>I've been fucking her since we were all 12.

Who cares?

>>664596523
Your religion is shit why do you even stick with it you fucking retard you guys believe that bullshit so much that it is dangerous how can you all be this retarded its 2015

>>664605374
Don't you fucking hate that?

>>664605634

Well I'm quite happy about it.

>>664605711
=(

>>664605374
>her dick

fuck off you gay faggotlordultra9500

>>664605856
I've fabbed to dudes with tits but is it ultra fucking weird getting sucked off by a GUY that has had a beard and a fat dick? Fuck that. My already low confidence would be gone and I would just go an hero. Not that you should, anon.

When I was 17 I cheated my girlfriend with a random 27 girl. We're still together but I can't stop thinking of that

>>664599007
>weird ass experience

>>664606118
Hey, i don't crave for dicks like the other fags of /b/ anon, i f could go back in time i would prevent myself from doing that

>>664606622
Lol. Riiiiiight anon. Jk don't get your panties bundled.

So you and friend and no longer friends because he got you a trap and you took advantage of this?

>>664606431
Why??

>>664599007
>way to ruin 007 faggot

Well
>fucked up my couple of my friends lifes selling drugs to them
>i sold my naked pics to random guys
>cheated on my ex
>sex addict

>>664603303
closet fag detected

>>664592044
Are you married to Sarah?

I fucked my bestfriend in the ass a couple times when we where 10

>>664607531

Nope.

>>664603116
sure thing, tits or gtfo

>>664592044
Roger?

>>664606754
It was a long time ago
Friend tried multiple times to apologize and go back to being friends, but my immature self had his pride hurt so, friend eventually gave up and after a while moved to NY.
Nowadays i regret it, since friend and i were like brothers

>>664601196
ded

>>664593059
incoming An Hero

>>664607838

Nope

>>664591445
>I secretly wish this world and people I have everyday contact with would burn but can't find the courage to burn it/them myself

>>664608039
>textbook edgyness

>be around 14
>get bikini pictures of girls from my class
>photoshop them so they look nude
>be proud, show best friend.
>friend thinks they're real.
>be much prouder on myself.

sadly all pics got lost over the years :(

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>>664595549
If it makes you feel any better my first experience was a gay bj.

>>664608102
OP asked for secrets, I'm sorry if I disappointed you by not typing "my gf and I get excited only by mutually masturbating ourselvesto traps"

>>664598421
acid. Try acid once. It could very well change your life, and you've nothing to lose.

>>664607157

Because I live in america and she live in europea so I wanted to fuck anyone else. What a fool I am. We are together for 2 year and I love her so much

>>664592388
Hey me too!

>>664608285
it's not really a secret man. stop trying to act so special with the "i hate the world" bullshit
keep watching walking dead in your basement faggot

>>664592388
why don't you let out some real secrets you paranoid pussy fuck

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>I Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer.

>>664608802

I saw aliens rape and murder a small village. They were working with a JSOC team who brought in a bunch of inflatable domes and medical equipment. We heard the screams of the women and children, but were ordered to ignore everything. The aliens raped them to death and apparently were hung like camels. The bodies were moved into the inflatable domes for further inspection.

>>664591445
i wanna get fucked by a trap

>>664609156
why?

>>664603711
hows college

>>664609144
now that's what I'm talking about
no but still you're prancy cunt

>>664600543
I read it

>>664609257
because he wants to know the feeling of satisfaction and warmth of a dick being inside him

jk he's just another one of those pretend faggots

>Be me
>Partying with 9/10 crush and her gay best friend
>Be in love with her for years
>Has me friend zoned hard, whatever
>As long as I'm around her, it's alright with me
>Drunk as fuck
>Hit up Dennys at 2 am
>Stumble into restroom to take a piss
>Black out for a mintue
>Next thing I know black dude is sucking on my limp dick
>The fuck is going on
>Delayed reaction
>I think he drank my piss
>Get the fuck out of there

She laughed her ass off when I told them what happened. I got molested by a random nigger on a Dennys restroom

> life is good for me, I have no real problems
> I hate myself, but I don't want to die
>whyyyy

>>664609530

mit calculus and physics look hard, but i'm up to the challenge. why?

>>664609555

Trips, and go fuck yourself.

>>664610439
lol nevermind. good luck on midterms m8

>>664597199
I can handle the daughter but the dog, dude?
>doctor's say after reading this that /b/tards only have a 20% chance of survival
>the cancer spread so fast, there was nothing they could do
>they just told the fag to kill himself
>kill yourself

>my former best friends little sister physically stop me committing suicide a year ago
>she was 15 at the time
>she has never told anyone of her involvement
>no one knows how close i came to ending it
>has allowed us to bond and become close friends

>>664610439

hahahahahaha good troll, m80

Calculus and physics were the best you could come up with?

i had sex with my brother, i am a girl and we are both 14, and our mum found out and shows my brother how to have sex better so we are ready when we are older.

>>664611307
How old are you, and would you bang her?

>>664611437
Greentext

And you mean to say you "used to be" 14

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>>664610857

>>664611537
ill bang her when i feel like going to jail and getting anally raped

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>>664594329
Keking hard!

>>664611644
In the future when she's of age m8

I was born into a mafia family.

>>664611821
oh yes definitely once shes legal im gonna make up for the last 5 years of not being able too

one day i run out of paper while shitting so i use the pages of a book. since then i am unable to shit with any other paper. even the softest linen can compare with the feeling that i experiment while shitting on books.

>>664611920
please elaborate

>>664611611
stop spamming you underage fuck

>ive murdered seven children and cut off and stapled their vaginas to my wall

>>664599900
Honestly man I feel like sleep might really really help you. I have never quite been in a situation like that though there as a solid year where I couldn't go near anything higher than two stories without wondering if jumping would kill me instantly or not. I just thought of my siblings and mom and beat the shit out of myself for even thinking about doing that to them... which then made it even worse. That being said I've never cut on myself and can't imagine what it's like to live like that for year after year. I don't know how to get out of it but I can promise you that one of these days you will find a way out of it, whether thats through anti-depressants or meeting someone you can open up to and takes you, faults and all or deciding you love nature or love god or some stupid ass shit that just makes you indescribably happy. You're in a really really shitty spot right now and telling yourself it's stupid to be there doesn't help. Just accept that that's where you are in this instant and try to find ways out of it. Don't beat yourself up if you can't get excited about this or that, you will find something eventually and when you do, you will be soooo incredibly happy you did. I'm not the best person to say this with credibility but I'll say it anyways... It gets better. As cheesy as it is I promise you that if you stick with it and don't let that dark, shitty, nasty side of you come out to play all the time and instead just acknowledge it and move on you will find your way out of this.

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>I fucked a trap
>It's my biggest secret

>>664612>>664612285
Picture?

>>664591445
> got a bj from my gf's best friend and so far she hasn't found out. Her friend is married now.

>>664612176
Family on both sides were a part of the gambinos. Only one family member who affiliated with them is currently alive.

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>>664591445

I'm the "shave my pubes so my bellybutton looks like a UFO sucking up my cock" guy.

I still do this.

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>>664612403
i took em down for you

i have anger issues, i will fuck you for fun

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>>664591445
>when my sister is home
>I always offer to make her bacon sandwiches for lunch
>Tell her I will call her when they are done
>masturbate furiously onto her bacon
>serve up
>eat together
>get second raging erection as I watch her eat it
>Secretly I think she knows what Im doing
>either way Its hot as fuck.

>>664607878
That was 5 yesrs ago. I think it's funny now. Aint no crybaby bitch y'herm

I'm my older brother's cum dumpster. I literally love getting fucked by him and sucking his cock.
I'm a dude and I'm not gay, exception for my brother.

>>664598421
Dude...it's time you start smoking ganja. Seriously.

>>664591445
This morning at 5am, I woke up to find my husband sitting on the end of the bed, violently shaking and sobbing hysterically. I asked him what's wrong, and all he could hear was screaming. Just screaming. I feel so selfish because I feel like I can't be strong for him anymore. I feel like I can't do this anymore. His PTSD is influencing his life more and more and he won't go and talk to someone. He won't take medication. He never leaves the house, and I'm beginning to get more scared to leave him alone with our child while I go to work. I'm cracking under the pressure. I just can't anymore.

>>664612588
The fuck?

>>664593059
Not really a secret then

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>>664612769
pic related

I recently found nudes of my gf in a thread on /b.

Never saw them before and don't know who posted them.

But I didn't ask my gf about them because I'm scared to know why and for whom she took those pics.

>>664612897
Buy Best Years of our Lives (film) for him
Tape military one source number on box
Tell him to man the fuck up

>he will be alright once he gets the sand out of his fucking vagina

>>664613173
Hey mr.sanders. How goes the campaign?

Worst thing I've probably ever done except masturbate over some pretty sick (but legal) porn vids is I once fucked my sidechick at a party in the toilet for just under an hour whilst my gf was waiting for me in the bedroom. I did my gf about ten minutes after I'd finished with the sidepiece as well.

>>664612588
those are pig hoofs you dork

>>664612588
What am i looking at?

>>664613269
Who the fuck are you?

>>664613173
fuckin cuck dump her right now. dont be weak

>get kicked out
>move in with bf
>lease isn't up until next October
>realize he's not my forever person
>making plans to move in with friend and break up peacefully

i am the biggest treat humanity ever had titanic jfk ww1 ww2 all because of me because i hate humans

>>664593386
Same!

>>664594042
Like reading my memoirs

>>664593750
>with a rock in a sock

>>664613675
2016

No one gives a shit about titanic

Weak b8

Now if had claimed to be responsible for Obama tearing down America, I might have believed you

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i like seeing shows of cute anime girls doing cute things, because I never experienced the feeling of my first love and support of my classmates. I was one of those guys who got lost in all that fun

>>664614014
it doesnt matter what you beliefe but let me tell you i was also responsible for him getting the president and ofc the twin towers was my doing

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>>664591445
I have a buddy that so work with and play cards with who has a cute nerdy wife. He's kind of a whiney asshat. Turns out she likes me and has sent me revealing pics behind his back.

Kinda wanna bang because of her body. Kinda don't want to bang because I don't want to bang anything that friend has banged.

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>>664593750
Plz tell us more wailing retards stories

>>664594760
You monster!!!

>>664595235
Steve?

>>664605025
First thing I said to a random girl once who was sitting alone at a party was "You don't talk much, do you"
She replied "Oh I do, just not to you"
Turns out she was something of an introverted evil genius. Careful of the quiet ones kids, they'll get ya every time!

>>664614245
Too late

>we all know you're a fucking liar

Obama was a test.

Not even satan himself would've wished for him to be president

>>664591445
Said to one friend that my other friend fuck his gf and she was pregnant. Turns out she was pregnant after all but didnt tell anyone beside her bf. Shit got crazy and the bf beat the shit out of him, even though my other friend didnt fuck her. After a daddy test, everything was cleared up, besides a truck and my friends face. They are not friends anymore. It was better that way anyways.

>>664614256
>dont want to bang anything a friend has banged

... you dumb motherfucker... never put the pussy on a pedestal.

It's hot.
It's wet.
It wants to massage your cumstick dry.

Stop being a faggot.

>>664609928
Depression doesn´t always come from bad things

>>664596685
Boner genocide like a boss

why him couse i thoght it would be funny with the name hussein to fuck you up >>664614655

>tell everyone I'm an ISTJ
>actually more of an INTP

>>664595545
Are you me?

6gb of R34 and counting

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>>664605287
>>664607502

She's not the type to jump straight into bed with a random bloke, not to mention I was told that her last boyfriend left due the fact that she didn't give up the arse after 3 months before this happened.

As if I was going to waste my time.

>>664614817
Nope you're a faggot

>>664614684
I think you're missing the point.bi don't want to fuck anything that this guy has fucked. He's fat, dirty, and eats literally anything that's not a vegetable.

He's pretty nasty. And it makes me not want to bang his wife. Even though his wife is pretty fuckin' cute and has really nice tits.

>>664614671
I'll never understand why people don't press charges when people assault them. Even if you fuck someone's gf they don't have the right to attack you.

>>664614994
you're lucky i will let you pass with this stay ignorant

>>664594329
I've shit my pants multiple times... so what.

>>664614777
What? Please elaborate

>>664615337
do you enjoy it?

>>664612155
Do you have a favourite publisher?

Do you prefer the quality of the paper in hardbacks or paperbacks or is there little difference between them?

>>664615475
Manic depression doesn't have a trigger. You are just clinically depressed for no reason.

>>664615307
Nigger you're incapable of anything other than wetting your bed and shit posting on /b

If you really hate humanity then an hero and stream it.

Everyone will be so colossally disallusioned by your faggotry that they will lose the will to live

I fucked my wife's 14 year old piano student for about a year. She ended up telling people about it.

>nobody believed her

>>664615732
No one believed her because she never existed, faggot

>>664615516

No. My job involves alot of travel. Nothing like getting 30 minutes from the airport in the middle of nowhere when the shit hits. No turnoffs, no buildings, no restaurants, no nothing... just miles of freeway with nowhere to pull off.

Each time I tried not to... just didn't work out so well.

Nothing like returning a rental car with a big ol brown spot in the seat and shitty leftovers in the trunk.

Fairly tame, but eh.

I enjoy singing and would like to learn to sing properly but can't afford lessons nor do I really have the spare time for practice due to work.

>>664615690
i know we had alredy over 1000 years ago and i think it would be the best who needs you guys anyway all you do is whining for more breastmilk

my fiance insisted on no kids, demanded it, raved about it

our wedding night, I took off the condom, looked her right in the eyes and shot a load right in her pussy

she cried while I told her I would kill her if she got an abortion

a year and a half later, we're divorced and I am about to get full custody of our kid

ha ha dumb bitch

>>664593149
Did the same, but my parents drank it.

>i'm a cat

>>664615894
that*

>>664615918

L M A O
M
A
O

Still fake.

>>664615816
Hue hue, good one.

>>664615894
Not sure what I just read

Married a man and convinced him that I didn’t want kids.

On our wedding night he looked me t right in the eyes after taking off the condom and shit his load into me.

I turned on the tears as he tried to tell me he would kill me if I got an abortion.

At my bachelorette party I had sex with one of the black male strippers and paid him $1000 to fun inside me.

A year and a half later we’re divorced and my white ex-husband pays me $300 a month in child support and will for the next 17 years.

Stupid mother fucker.

>>664591445
>ive raped a sleeping girl and dont really regret it

>>664612794
You're a cool guy. I'd be your pal.

>>664591445
I work as a security guard in a large hospital, I have keys to all the rooms, I went into the coma ward and felt a woman's breasts for 30 mins straight and came on them. I cleaned up and so far have gotten away with it.

>>664615155
Yeah never understood why he didnt. I would have

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>>664615918
>Anons face
Top kek tho

>>664593443

>>664616271
Let me get this straight... You cheated on your fiancé. Had a black stripper fuck you. Paid him a grand to cum inside of you... And we are supposed to feel bad that your ex-husband wanted to have kids in a creepy ass method?

You're a fucking piece of shit. He's just disturbed. You are trash.

I still love her Angela hui from queens New York bitch blocked me on Facebook..

>>664616223
how about another adam and eva who shall be the next adam and who eva

>>664595549
Girls bathing in a cave...WTF are you