SECRETS THREAD

>>664548294
I order expensive clothes online wear them once and return them.

>>664548294
My mom's friend tried to finger bang me in the back of my mom's car.

I slept with my sister when she was blind drunk one night.

>>664549037
story/got nudes?

>>664549037
how did she take it the next morning?

>>664548498
>>664548965
>>664549037
samefag

>>664549210
the first two yes, but not the third.

>>664548965
that story turned me on when you first told it.

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one time i drank water in a cup for the sole purpose of hydration.

>>664549388
its hit or miss, some people like some stories, some like other ones. they are mostly boring ones, i didn't lead a very exciting life.

QG here?

>>664548294
Im growing marijuana

I have AIDS.

>>664549801
:(

When my sister and I were 11 and 10, I convinced her to get naked and let me lick her pussy. I told her if she liked it she had to rub my cock. She liked it and ended up jerking me off. That was my first real orgasm, as in, I came for the first time instead of a dry orgasm, which was awesome because it ended up on her face.

>>664549912
it must of been nice having family to experiment with.

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Im joining the USMC just to murder

>>664550362
i bet they love that.

>Girl googles name
>Dad walks in
>Spagetti.jpeg
>????
>Girl moves 2 my town years
>first night call her "Courtney Cox"
>She cries we had are fun as punk
>walk around the block with CC
>Tell me start of the story
>You tell me what she tried to tell me
>Dodge a crazy bitch bullet

>>664550428
They really fucking do, just waiting on my waiver cause ive got a record

>>664550036
It certainly was. I just wish I'd experimented more. That I'd fingered her instead of just licking. That I'd fucked her. I didn't really know what I was doing, is that sad thing. It wasn't to get off, or out of some attraction to her, just to see the opposite gender and try stuff.

>>664550500
Is your other secret that you're illiterate?

I Love posting nudes of Gf. Knowing annons Jerk of to her makes me Diamond

i want to fuck a cute sissy boy

>>664550661
you ever do anything else?

>>664550717
Ur rite butt,i kant lye

I think my uncle is gay, he's either hitting on me or just being a dumbass, it's fucking wierd.

i sucked my dogs dick

>>664550810
At thirteen, horny as any thirteen year old, I tried to initiate something again, but she instantly shut it down. Apparently she'd grown out of the experimental phase. I have no idea if she even remembers the time we actually did stuff, and I'm sure as hell not asking.

>>664550731
So post a couple here. I need to wank.

>>664550799
powerful bold claim featuring DUBS

>>664550661
yeah, I lost my virginity as an adult and still barely knew what i was doing. the stuff they taught in schools was worthless. i did what could barely be called experimentation at age 13, but that was all doing what a 17 year old told me. i didn't know about semen until he jacked off in front of me. the most informative stuff was probably late night HBO when the sitter fell asleep.

I've attempted suicide before, but pussied out at the last second.

>>664551051
at age 10, she definitely remembers, and you never forget the moment you found out the stuff down there feels good.

>>664549204
With a glass of water and the morning after pill

I'm about to come out in full to my partner, about being gay and that I want to transition.

She knows mostly, but she's Trying to avoid the subject like the plague.

Unfortunately I'm starting to care less and less and worried more and more about finding me a boyfriend.

i still have a massive elephant painting chilling in my house that i was gonna pawn off on some queef and i've yet to come up with a better story for guests.

>>664548498
morning slimjim

I had a kid at 16 with a girl who was 14. It's been 4 years and I can't get rid of her. She's insane. So I'm starting to see another woman from work.

>>664551329
but otherwise she didn't care? No freak outs what she was sober?

>>664551405
luckily no-one mentions it

>>664551419
hey anon.

i can't bring myself to eat my own cum, even though it's something that turns me on really badly

My best friend was incest, and made his close relatives dry hump naked... in a treefort

>>664551371
wow, that conversation is really gonna suck for her isn't it.

>>664548294
I think the girl I'm in love with is really ugly

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I love one of my friends girlfriend. She's into me too and we've kissed, gropped, etc but we haven't fucked yet. Before winter vacations everything was going perfect, but then she kinda backed off and now we haven't done anything else. Except this weekend, we kissed once when we were having some beers.

I don't know what to do. I fucking love that girl but he's one of my best friends too.

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>>664551678
>my best friend was incest

>>664551472
sort of. had some badass estimations but everyone's obsessed with minimalist shit so now i'm not allowed to be interested in it.

>>664551734
its nice that your not shallow enough to let that stop you from loving her. i hope what ever you go for is successful.

when I was 13 I accidentally killed my pet mouse.

that was 15 years ago. I still feel bad about it sometimes.

>>664551734
how does that work? Do you find her sexy but ugly? Or are you unattracted to her?

>>664551856
take a pic, i wanna see the elephant in the room.

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>>664551734
>>664551884

>>664551951
>In love
>Unattracted
Dafuq?

>>664551951
I have really lame mushy feelings towards her but I just think she looks like shit

An asshole in my old middle school became a partying bi-coke head rapist...i plot murder

>>664551951
physicality =/= personality

pageroll

>>664552099
is it her face, her body, or does she just not take care of herself or know how to dress?

>>664548294

>my 24 year old cousin and I fucked after her divorce

she was lonely and things happened

much cum was came

>>664551854
fuck off, his a hillbilly, i am indian....not paki

>>664552262
yeah, lonely people do some messed up things sometimes.

I have an occasional affair with an old flame. We're both in unhappy long-term relationships.

I bring her into the office pretending to be a saleswoman, close the office door, and dominate her.

So far she's managed to keep the marks hidden from her boyfriend but that wont last forever.

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>>664552364
your English is terrible my friend

>>664552364

POO ON IT

>>664552212
She's just pretty heavy set and doesn't have the best figure, her face just looks kinda bad in general but I mean I'll just make it work

When I was in high school this boy would sit behind me and kick the bottom of my chair. I think it was just a random tick of his but it got me off so many times

>>664551749
If you love her then dicth the other bicth and fuck the one you love, easy m8

>>664552538
>>664552364

if you think that's bad you should see his street

I'm have a "harem" of aging lolicons......

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>>664548294

I had sex with a girl before and after she died

my name is walter i once got cought jerking the gerbil at a girls house. her dad walked in on my in the bathroom during a new years party... i think he was into it.

>>664552592
I hope she looses the weight for her health's sake then anon.Again, I am glad you can look past her appearance tho.

I tried to kill my self with sleeping pills, it ended up just being a puke mess to clean up.

>>664551472
Massively underrated comment

>>664552642
I don't think I made myself clear. She is my friend's girlfriend. I mean, one of my best friend's girlfriend..

>>664548294
I played demons souls at a very young age, ever since then I have never been the same

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>>664552626
That must have been really hard kicks.

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>>664552745
you masturbated someone's gerbil? a fucking gerbil?

>>664552592
That's the spirit, anon!

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>>664551988
lacks the magic, not sure if i'm stomping on that tail now.

>>664552592
been with a girl like that for about 8 years anon. depends on the person whether they can do it, I find attitude sexier than physical form.

if she's somebody you're happy with aside from the looks that's a serious plus. doesn't mean I don't fap to sexy girls sometimes though.

>>664552772
Thanks man, I mean she's not really that bad so I'm sure everything will work out

>>664551988
He's not getting it smh. Think it might be a language barrier thing

>>664550362
are you my loser brother who blames everyone in the family for being such a retard

>>664553027
I think it's cool :^)

>>664550500
I feel like I have become retard trying read this^

>>664550799
on this site that's more of a greeting than a secret.

>>664552949
It was enough. I dunno if he ever found out. Part of me thinks he was doing it on purpose and getting off on the control he had over me

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I once ate my own jizz and when I did I immediately regretted it

>>664552912
>DS FAGGOT

>>664553027
I thought we were talking about a painting? um, its very nice anon.

>>664552626
Tits or...actually nvm you can stay

>>664553153
not as cool as banzai seeds strangely.

>>664553312
i am the painting, man.

>>664551371
probably because the person they fell in love with is changing gender.

This is what pisses me off about half of your population.
>Person 1 I'm gay
>Person 2 Me too lets get together
>Person 1 oh wait I also want to be the other gender
>Person 2 wtf that's not what I fell in love with

i shit post on 4chan.

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when I was little I used to buy goldfish and use a Bunsen burner to heat up water while they were in it until they suffocated

you can see their heart rate go up in their gills flutter more rapidly when the heat went up

I thought I was asexual until I met my current boyfriend.

>>664553027
So it's real? I thought it was a setup for the joke

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I want to walk into my cousins garage and shoot all his buddies that are inside said garage sitting on the couches with a suppressed 9mm pistol while they talk shit on me for trying to get a job. I've thought it over several times but I'm 99℅ certain that the outcome won't be that satisfying.

my English teacher outed me as a 4chan user by making a holocaust joke.
he's Jewish.
shit sucked.
nobody laughed.

For a while I was nailing two girls who were best friends for most of their life. One knew, the other one didn't.

Eventually the one who knew confessed to her friend. There was a brief period of bonding and hating on me, but they both came back to me separately and distanced themselves from their friend. Years later I'm still nailing each of them occasionally. One of them is so angry at the other she's said she wants to tie her up and sexually humiliate her which I might arrange.

tl;dr I ruined a lifelong friendship for some dirty sex, may ruin more than just that.

I don't put any effort into anything I do and I mooch off my parents. I am a NEET at 24 years old and I have no intentions of finding a job or getting a degree.

>>664553585
what was the joke

>>664553534
You'll go to jail and never get a job. Be smart.

if I end up with a death sentence on my life, say I find out I have cancer or something a ways down the road I am not going to bother with any attempt to cure it- I don't plan on living in fucking debt if I beat it.

Also if I am to die, I am going to kill some very specific people because they are garbage and have gotten away with some unforgivable shit.

Tried breaking up with my long term GF but pussed out. She's inconsiderate, selfish, and lazy. We've helped each other through the rough times but it's like she has no desire to grow more than this. If the conversation isn't about her or her interests it doesn't last. Been emotionally and now physically cheating with a 19 year old for about two months.

i was a willing "shota" in my young years.

>>664553690
Precisely.

I had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation twice

>>664553676
he was referencing some movie that was panned because it was trying to find light in the tragedy.
luckily he was mocking the class for being a little too sensitive to shit so i think i'm in the clear.

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My biggest secret is that I don't have any secrets

>>664549481
You poopsmoker

>>664553527
what joke?
the heart don't play games friend.

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>>664551749
/b/ros, I could really use some advice here.

>>664553909
thanks for playing along

>>664553909
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

nice try faggot, that couldn't possibly be true

i once had sex in the missionary positions for the sole purpose of recreation.

>>664553527
As did I, anon. As did I.

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>>664553909
Everyone has a secret faggot.

>>664553964
not sure if bait, but you're a fucking scumbag of a friend.

sometimes I rub my dick and think about hot mom fantasies

>>664554104
Sadly, no. It's not bait.

I secretly recorded myself with a 31 year old girl the first time she ever went past 1st base (got to 3rd).

I feel like a dirtbag, but I still fap to the video pretty frequently.

>>664553909
tell an embarrassing story from your childhood, like when your sitter saw your penis when you were little and she laughed at you.

>>664554162
>31 year old girl
>girl

my landlord is trying to have sex with me but she is 60 and I am 24 still if I go through with it I could save a lot of money on my rent if you know what I mean

I killed all of the pets my parents bought for my sister because they never got a pet that I wanted. They were 3 hamsters, a rabbit, a kitten, and a tank of fish

>>664553964
Your options are
-Affair behind friends back
-Telling her you're into her but cant do anythign while she's with friend

Either way you have a high chance of damaging friendship, and I'm not going to judge for your choices. But you have to pick one and commit to it because you've got the worst of both worlds right now.

>>664553964
I think she backed off cause she new it was wrong and she felt guilty. how much was she drinking when it happened again? is she a lightweight?

>>664548294
A Muslim coworker of mine ate some mac and cheese I made that had a shit ton of chopped bacon in it and I told him it was turkey bacon.

>>664554227

Yep. Religious chick. Been friends with her for a long time, would always make out when she was drunk.... but I'm pretty sure I was the first guy she ever fucked around with.

>>664554329


I was a cat that was killed by a boy who was jealous of his sister but he is the bigger pussy

>>664553964
You said beat friend but thats bullshit you cunt. If hes tour best friend you wouldnt be doing this. My problem here is the delusion. If you wanna fuck this girl accept that her boyfriend is not your best friend. Cheat away friendo but dont start pretending that you care about the guy cause thats bullshit. You dont cuck your best friend

I really wonna buy a horse cock dildo just to see how much I could take

>>664554109
I wanna hear those fantasies.

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Im obsessed with wanting to fuck my aunt

>>664554243
...so whats the problem

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I want stuck a novelty starfish from a gift shop on the boardwalk up my arse hole

>>664554478

Nobody else does. Y'all exchange numbers and go fap together.

>>664554509
if that's what she looked like 9 years ago I'm scared to see what she looks like now

>>664554243
>She
Stop being an actual fucking faggot and plow that old pussy

>>664554147
Then be a man and tell him. If you're too much of a pussy then be a friend and knock it the fuck off.

>>664554243
Go for it.

>>664554478
oh, just about her wearing sexy clothes around the house and getting nice and touchy when tucking me in

>>664554397
All i wanted was a snake

>>664554353
I put broccoli in my mac and cheese, does bacon go real good with it?

>>664554566

Seriously man, that's kind of age difference is definitely a merit badge. Do it out of principle.

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>>664554566
she looks like that old worn-out crazy cat lady from Futurama

>>664553332
I love you anon

l roll

>>664554339
Affair had been going for a couple of months but it stopped. I think It was because she was getting too attached to me. But still, she hinted that when my family went out of town we should do something at my place. (Means she only wants to fuck now?).

>>664554342
We were out with another friend and we had just like 3 beers, we drink a fucking lot, so 3 beers are nothing.

l roll to get

>>664554695
what's your data plan?

trips check em

>>664554629
bacon goes great in pretty much everything, it adds smokiness and saltiness and this savoury depth of flavour.

bolognese, omelettes, mac and cheese, casseroles, steak, whatever it is goes well with bacon.

I gotta Pornhub Account

>>664554689

eh, could do worse.

Again, do it for the merit badge, fucker. That's a damned tough achievement to unlock.

>>664549641
Heyho ^_^

>>664554478
i thot i waz sick pup

Hmm snuck into a pasture at night to have sex with and play with a female horse when i was drunk...

>>664554689
thats, pretty bad.

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me and my cousin had a homosexual experience when he was 8 & I was 10 it involved the water jet in a swimming pool and those rocket shaped weights that you would torpedo in the deep end

>>664554703
People in general and girls in particular develop stronger feelings when you're fucking them. It's a biological thing.

So by bringing her over and fucking her regularly you can get her to fall for you again. Ideally at a time when she's not going to be seeing your mutual friend.

>>664554442
That's the fucking dilema.

>>664554612
Not a pussy, I just can't stop seeing her. What the fuck should I tell him? I don't want to lose his friendship either.

I've been having sex with girls since I was 5 including all my step sisters and my mother is a lesbian

I jerked off on my sisters high school cheerleader uniform

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>>664554849
WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HO FUCKER

>>664554805
Don't forget chocolate. Chocolate dipped bacon gives me a flavorgasm every time.

>>664555001
That's what I thought.

>>664553310
Abort mission, yup you are fkd, but only by now you can wait until the relationship between thoose 2 gets vold and then do the swapping *wink*

>>664549801
Sorry man ;-(

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I'm 42% black

fucked my sister.

came buckets.

the end.

>>664552592
they say that - psychologically - within a year of being with someone you develop a neutral opinion of their looks. So whether you're with a supermodel or a whale after a year you don't care.

Don't ask me for a source on that

>>664555054
I want your life anon.

>>664555063
go wildcats whoop

>>664554999
same i perfer head.

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>>664554608
like this

>>664555354
please explain the maths that lead to that figure

I legitimately enjoy watching Gilmore Girls.

>>664555399
better than expected. But in her older pic she was rapidly heading towards serious pancake tits. How do they look now?

I like to wear panties when I'm horny, and think about fucking my step sisters.

>>664555372

In my anecdotal experience, this is complete bullshit.

>>664555479
dem asses

>>664549481
The absolute madman

i'm in debt to everyone i come across but not the reverse cuz they don't have the remote.

>>664555372
do you think this will work with gender?

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>>664555441
Le test, de la dna

>>664555043
if you were my friend even if you told me id never talk to you again. you've already made an enemy. buy fucking her you proved you don't give a fuck about him.
don't be a fag a pretend you do

>>664555384
I'd tell you I have fucked her but I'm not a fucking liar. If I had the chance IDK if I could. But in my fantasy I'd cum all over her fucking face.

when i was 11-12 me and my best friend had this girl who hung out with us (she looked up to us), and we three were inseparable. we always found each other after school and did kid stuff. we have these woods near our houses and we built a little camp house thing in it. it was just a canvas held up by branches. if we put the canvas down it was 100% dark in the camp house and we'd feel 100% private and share secrets (about other people and stuff). one day my best friend brought porno mags and we read them with our flashlights. one thing led to another and we would masturbate together in there, promising not to look at each other etc. after a while we'd help each other out and act out a couple of stuff we saw. she sucked us off and we licked her and stuff. one day we were in the camp house, naked, doing our thing helping each other out and my best friend says to the girl we should try sex. she says no because she doesn't want to lose her virginity. best friend coaxes her into it a little but she's pretty firm about not wanting to do it. he starts to hold her down and she struggles, he tells me to help him. i'm sitting there with my hard dick and obviously i wanna have sex too so i hold her down too. she keeps saying no no no but my friend gets on top of her and puts his dick in, he has sex with her while i hold her down. he cums and gets off, girl is just looking the other way and is quiet now. he tells me its my turn. he gestures that he'll hold her down, and he does. i get on top of her and i start fucking her. she makes 0 sound and 0 movements. i cum after a few minutes. we let her go and she gets dressed and leaves, not saying a word. she avoided us for the rest of the school year and i never saw her again after that

>>664555603
Sexy as fuck, man.

on my senior prom night I watched the girl I had a crush on since 2nd grade have sex with a rugby player while I was in the front seat of my parents GMC Safari. she was my date to the prom and I never lost my virginity. I'm still a virgin and I'm 26 the worst part about that night was that they played that song like in the movie the girl next door when they are in the limo at the end so now whenever I hear David Gray I try

>>664555720

That is fucked. up.

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>>664555543
like this, you know her?

>>664555696
attraction to mothers are weird, even if you find her attractive, even if she finds you attractive, once you start sleeping together she just isn't your mom anymore.

>>664555815
how did that happen if she was your date?

>>664555683
I haven't fucked her. It doesn't matter, I can't stop thinking of her, but I don't want to lose my friend either.

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>>664555815

>>664555666
check'd, I cannot question dubtrips

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>>664554162

Because... dem big virgin tittays

>>664555952
oh god

>>664555720
yeah, this is one of those stories that sounds really believable and I want it to not be real.

when I was 15 I had a fat black manager her name was Diane Cummings and I was working at Roy Rogers. she fired me one day for blocking the fire door so I told my parents she was selling drugs through the drive thru window and she was arrested on suspicion 3 months later and because she was the only black girl in a all white small town she got convicted and sentenced to nine months in jail for a crime she didn't commit don't mess with Gothenburg Nebraska