>be back in highschool
>be last day of senior year
>hear about the two senior bitches that got arrested
>they jump a freshman girl and beat her unconcious
>mfw I graduate and they didn't
I don't give a fuck about the stories but here's some Haruhi porn.
>sometime in high school
>one of the bitches from last story shows up with beer in her back pack
>she goes to the bathroom
>comes back to class
>I see her
>teacher calls principal
>bitch escorted out by resource cop
Shit, this is the same Haruhi, only twice.
>664412932 I didn't post the nudes mang. It's not my fault. Another story.
>high school again
>see two guys
>they start fighting
>principals and resource officers called
>one gets knocked out
>the other guy pulls down pants
>takes a shit on the knocked out guy's face
>end of the year, SOLs coming up
if you don't know what SOLs are, it's essentially a standardized test to determine a schools funding in my state. The suck ass
>sitting in Spanish class
>extended for SOL coming up for 11th grade
>about to watch a movie
>fire alarm goes off and we go out into the hallway
>probably a drill, whatever
>shitton of smoke in the hall
>school assembly is called a few days later
>staff say that somebody lit fireworks in the bathroom and they'll find who did it
>never found him
>Girl is bullied by the popupar girls.
>Threatens to beat them up.
>Popular girls tell teacher who alerts the vice principle.
>Cops are called.
>Girl was also self harming so she was taken to local psychiatric facility and given a 3 month suspension.
>2 days later is Columbine anniversary.
>Kids are terrified that she's going to kill everyone on that day.
>Teacher's and staff try to remind everyone that she's under 24 hour care at a mental hospital.
>2 days later.
>Half of the school is absent.
>Bullies never recieved any punishment.
>>664413559 lulz. Another story
>be in highschool
>hear feminist girl
>"panties and bras are an invention of the patriarchy"
>most girls believe her
>feminist calls for them to quit wearing underwear
>be next monday
>almost all girls have no underwear
>see all these wonderful pussies and terrible fat pussies
>see hairy pussies
>erect nipples all day errywhere
>be next day
>school assembly called
>"due to innappropriate attire, we are instituting dress codes. rules will be finalized by tomorrow and rules will go into effect monday."
>feminist girl freaks out
>starts hurling all insults and profanity she knows at principal
>she get's suspended on the spot
Fuck you, I posted what I posted.
Post the damn feet yourself.
>middle school this time
>be in line in cafeteria
>idiot tries to cut in front of my friend
>friend holds out arm to block him
>friend doesn't fight back for fear of getting punished
>still gets suspended along with the other guy for being in a fight
Ay, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to appear rude. I'm still thankful for your dump.
This doesn't really have a story. It just kinda happened and nobody knows how.
>be third grade
>puberty has started
>have friend grill
>we are pretty close
>be at recess behind this huge frickin tree talking
>we'll call her Sara
>"have you been feeling weird lately?"
>"What do you mean?"
> neither of us have had sex ed or even know about puberty yet
>"I keep seeing this bulge in your pants"
>" Yeah, I don't know what is happening but my dad said it's normal."
>get a boner after a couple minutes
>"see, that is what I'm talking about!" as she points at my boner
>"can I see anon? will you show me what that is?"
>have no modesty anyway
>take off pants and underwear
> she inspects and plays with my junk
>"it's so funny how it shakes when you wiggle jump anon"
>start feeling hot blooded
>noticed she had breasts for a few months but never talked about it
>"have you been feeling weird Sara?"
>"yeah, my chest has been tender lately and sometimes I pee blood"
>"can I see sara?"
>boner gets harder
>"can I feel them sara?"
>I feel her breast buds
>"that feels good anon. will you keep rubbing them?"
>"where are you peeing blood from Sara?"
>she shows me
>"my mom says it's normal"
>as she shows me I see that her hole may be big enough for my dick. I didn't know what a vagina was back then.
>I ask her if I can see if my dick fits
>get ready to try and teacher yells to come in because recess is over
>get cock blocked by teacher
(Our school has a tard integration program for gym class so the tards feel less tardy)
>playing speed football
(Basically if you get the ball you have to take 2 steps and pass it)
>Nobody's passing to the tards because they hog the ball
>our gym has those retracting bleachers
>one of the nigtards shaquiel is getting visibly upset that nobody will pass him the ball
>Ball gets stuck on top of the bleachers
>one of the normies climbs up to retrieve it
>drops the ball before he begins to climb down himself
>shaquiel sees the ball and goes apeshit
>BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL
>literally sprinting towards the ball which is right under normies feet
>normie doesnt see tard and drops down
>lands right on shaquiels face
>shaquiel is out cold
>Fat gym teacher blows the whistle
>IM BENCHIN YOU ANON
>normie has to sit out the rest of game
>wranglers drag shaquiels limp body to the nurses office
>mfw nigtard has a concussion
>mfw he isnt allowed to do gym with normies anymore
>mfw normies only punishment for concussing a tard was sitting out the last 10 minuted of a made up game
>>664418388 post em mang here's another story
>be in middle school
>have bitch teacher
>bitch has to go to the bathroom
>steal sweet tea that bitch always drinks and pour it out the window
>put cup back where it was
>bitch comes back
>WHERE'S MY TEA?
>class has the best poker face ever
>AT THE COUNT OF THREE IF i DON'T HAVE MY TEA EVERYONE GETS DETENTION
>everyone gets detention
>nobody was mad at me afterwards either
>hockey week of gym class
>this is the only week its socially acceptable to go hard as fuck without looking like an idiot
>shaquiel has a limp hand so he is holding his stick with his good hand
>my class has a lot of the kids who are on the real hockey team
>Shaquiel is swinging and slamming his stick like a wild man
>nobodys shins are safe from the wrath of this nigtard
>he basically kneecaps one of the hockey kids
>eventually our teacher has enough and blows the whistle
>SHAQUIEL YOU GET THE BENCH
>Nigtard is again visibly upset but obeys lest he be smitten with the wrath of eddy spaghetti
(our teachers first name was Ed)
>hockey kid isnt pleased
>hockey kid doesnt think shaq learned his lesson
>last 5 minutes of the game he gets the ball and does a wrist shot towards shaquiel
>misses him by a foot
>"WATCH YOUR SHOT ANON" said eddy
>"sorry boss" said anon
>1 minute left on the clock
>hockey kid does a slapshot and it smacks shaquiel right in the face
>shaquiel goes down
>eddy goes up
>ANON JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THIS IS
>mfw kid drew blood
>mfw his only punishment was a 0 for the day
>Mfw the wranglers and evrrybody else hates shaquiel because he uses his tardiness to get what he wants
>be in college
>he has a super modest/conservative girlfriend
>slowly he breaks her will
>eventually he gets her to start sexting
>won't have sex though
>eventually he finds out that she is cheating on him
>friend drinks himself stupid for a week straight
>go into his phone
>print all the nudes he has of her
>buy about 8 back packs
>find poorest students on campus
>tell them I have a job for them
>tell them that on a certain day to take these back packs and go on top of all the buildings at the same time
>they then open back packs and throw all the nude pictures out
> girl is mortified
>girl quits college
>friend comes out of "eternal hangover"
>friends for life
> math class
> be asain and one of the top students in class
> nigga starts making fun of my mother for no reason and I don't even know this kid
> nigga then made squint eyes with his hand and says "ching chong ching chong" (doesn't really mean anything in any language on this planet)
> i said "this nigga says he's gay and wants everyone to fuck his ass!!"
> whole class starts laughing at the nigga
> niggers gets up from his desk and tries to shoves me off my chair
> teacher walks in and breaks us up
> both of us get sent to the dean
> no witness of me physically starting shit with the nigga but tons of witness saw nigga started it by trying to push shove me off my chair plus the fact that i'm generally a grade A student
> 2 seconds later, nigga suspended and I just get sent back to class with a giant smug look
Ok here's the one band story you'll get from me.
>be 17-almost 18
>had a damn good marching band but full of total idiot seniors
>band director never said shit when we goofed off because we were some of the best players in the state
And we would goof off HARD, mind you. Hotboxes before practice, pancakes on an electric griddle during lunch, hiding shit in the ceiling of the band room. Just dumb shit
>we won state championship for marching band
>band director takes a day off to go hunting
>eagerly awaiting the sub to get on his iPad so we can go fuck around in the back room
At this point we were so hyped that we won, nothing else mattered
>playing shit on piano, smoking a few bowls in the back room
>kid walks in with a trombone
>"oh sweet you here to jam?"
>"not today, bandanon. This...belongs to the tick"
For those of you who don't talk like a band-worshiping bitch, the "tick" is the worst player or marcher in a band
>he slams the trombone on the floor
>room goes quiet
>"fuck ticks. Go wild"
>nobody moving. A precious instrument has suddenly been slammed on the floor like a fucking touchdown
>single kid walks up to it
>curbstomps the dented brass
>hive mind kicks in
>kids taking turns smashing the trombone
>we eventually get it flattened out
>take a hammer and screwdriver and start chiseling pieces off of it
>everyone fucking animals at this point.
>this was some freshmans instrument
>gave every senior a piece of the trombone
>band director comes home fucking furious, someone snitched
>next day he has us lined up, interrogating us
>"WHO DID IT? WAS IT YOUUUU, BANDANON?"
>"but mr director why would I hurt a beautiful and precious instrument"
He finally ends up getting so pissed he just drops the whole thing and storms out of the room
>a week goes by, notice the tick doesn't come to class
>>664422306 top kek
>be in middleschool
>day of "drugs are bad assembly"
>beaner shoves me into locker
>be lunch time
>beaner sneaks off campus to get lunch
>friend comes up
>"anon I'm scared. I've got some weed and don't know where to stash it. I overheard the principal talking and there is going to be a drug dog at the assembly"
>take friends weed
>stuff it into beaners backpack that he left when he went to get lunch
>drug dog starts barking
>marijuana is found