Why aren't you a nudist yet?

>fat
>small dick

>>664027159
Draw a six pack on your fat with a permanent marker.

Put an empty zooper dooper over your schlong. Then you'll be right mate.

>tfw nudist
>tfw not enough nudists my age (early 20s)
meh. at least i know i look good naked and can show it off

>>664027102
>i would feel very manly and very awkward at the same time because i would walk the nudist beach with a diamond dick 24/7 +/- 360 noscope and some spaghetti.

>>664027102
Because I have body image issues, and would be worried about popping wood the entire time

>>664027280
Found the Aussie

I am already actually

>>664027102
because i look like shit

lol don't know why people are embarrassed of their bodies>>664027159
>>664027306

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>>664027346
Like having a wood is a bad thing

Because its 7F

I already am a nudist, In my own home. Plus without the sun cancer.

>>664027684
>7F
is this some weird #hex address?

coz of small dick

>>664027878
>is she trying to get the inside of her pussy tanned ?

>>664027102
Because you can only look, not touch.

>>664028092
You can look and touch yourself though ...

>raging boners near the playgrounds

Cause boners

I'm scared to Death of a bee or jellyfish stinging my weewee.

>>664027159
kek

>>664028448
I had a tick on the head of my dick once. It was not fun.

>>664028092
>as far as my experience goes those bitches in the fkk-club (thats how it is called in germany close to the sea) were damn horny, had 2 great fuckable chicks that holiday. One was about 28-32 and the other 40 with the biggest knockers if ever seen and only slightly chubby.
both overall arround 7/10.
would provide pics but sadly on phone atm.

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>>664027280
>zooper dooper
eating one of those right now.

>>664028515
what is an fkk club exactly? is it basically a swingers or sex club?
>tfw been to nude sex club in toronto a few times
>tfw didnt get laid once
dont know how i feel about that tbh...

>>664027102
Because I don't look good without clothes.

nudism is for old fat wrinkly disgusting folks, not my scene

No one wants to see me naked and Im too much of the jealous type to date a nudist chick who's body gets seen by all

>>664028823
those clubs buy a part of the beach and build some wood fences arround it.
>and inside Sex Drugs and Rock n Roll.
Try it if you are at germanys coastline somewhere, oh and most of them have 2 seperated areas, one for *no touching here just watching and sun and drinking* and one for *if you are brave enough talk to that girl you might get a blowjob or more* if you get what iam talking about.
>Oh best thing is you can only enter most of these clubs with a fresh visit @ a doc who gives you a paper that says *no stds or any illness*
>And chicks have to be on the pill to enter it, if you visit the right(most expensive) clubs.

I normally hate my country (germany) for its strict laws, but in this case its awsome.

Because unlike most nudists, I don't pretend I look good naked.

nudism isnt what it used to be. nowdays zoom lenses cost under a grand and everyfucker is a permaperve with their cellphone.

what used to be fun is now basically unpaid porn modelling.

shame really.

Went for the first time last week. Those who are self-conscious, forget about it. You wouldn't believe the array of body types on the beach. But no-one gives a shit.

However, I think I went on the wrong day, as it was a sausage fest, and there were loads of guys "scanning the scene", and not for women either. Out of about 50-60 people scattered on the beach, at least 4 or 5 were women.

Add to that, guys kept coming and going over to the dunes for dogging. Was very seedy.

Still, I went a little further up to be on my own. Sun and surf naked is like no other, I suggest you try it. Gentle waves caressing your package... it's like nature is feeling you up.

>>664027528
>>664027254
Not nudists. Just because you go to a voyeur exhibitionist beach where naked people happen to be, you are not nudist you are amateur porn stars.

>>664027102
Why am I not a nudist? Because I am an overweight 51 year old guy. No one wants to see that naked.

>>664027102
i do not enjoy watching fat gay men fuck

>>664029527
This is actually a perfect reason to be nudist. Being nudist is about being free and loving your body and everyone's body. The nudist crowd ranges in all ages, races, and sizes

>>664029309
>*if you are brave enough talk to that girl you might get a blowjob or more*
you have a private area or in public were everyone can see you? also, i can imagine a lot of gay shit goes down there...

i lived in germany (dusseldorf) for half a year, dont think they had it.

toronto sex club is pretty much that, but you dont need std or pill checks.

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>>664027102
why would I most nudists are 50+ people who just don't give a fuck any more. personally i prefer to have my junk protected from the elements by clothes.

when I want to do nudism I do it on the bus home from work, a rub one off while people try to pretend they don't see me

>>664027334
I think I fucked this chick at Hedonism!

>>664027990
No. She knows the dude is photographing her and is teasing him.

>>664027528
Having an erection at a nudist camp / beach is frowned upon and you are generally asked to leave or return to your room

>>664029673
>you have a private area or in public were everyone can see you? also, i can imagine a lot of gay shit goes down there...
there are rooms for rent in the better clubs, ofc its about to cost you 100$ arround a night but its + breakfast.

>toronto sex club is pretty much that, but you dont need std or pill checks.
thats suicide to your health, be honest bro i'am right am i ?

my tipp, look out for the expensive clubs close to KIEL (city in the high north of germany) in summer times.
Will be expensive but damn the service and safety checks are absolutly perfect.

I go a few times during the summer to a family friendly nudist resort in pa. Greatest moments of my summer. No sex allowed so no one feels awkward about anything. I'm amerifag btw

>>664029867
or jumped on by the nearest 65yo GILF wearing tits for saddlebags

>>664027102
>disgusting hamplanet on mobility scooter
>murrica fuck yeah

Most nudists (at least in the US) look nothing like those in this thread. Some do, but not most. Plenty of fat, small-dicked guys and fat or wrinkly women. Believe it or not, it's not really a sexually-charged environment. More liberating than anything. For those reasons, you probably wouldn't pop wood, but if you do, just cover with a towel or leave (they may ask you to nicely).

Can someone explain to me why it is legal to take and to share pictures of underage nudist people? And so why is it illegal on /b/?

>>664030227
Period on b share it with sexual intent

>>664030227
It's not nudity alone that's the problem. Nudity for sexual or prurient purposes is the problem. Nudism is not considered to be for the purpose of exciting or titillating. /b/ still bans it bc, who has the time to make that determination and what if you guess wrong? It's not worth it.

>Lawyer anon here

>>664030227
it's legal because it's not technically considered porn, it get a ban on /b/ because the mods don't want to take any unnecessary risks.

>>664030127
pretty sure that's a hot blonde with a shaved pussy, bro

>>664027159
You're missing the point

>>664030010
so you were doing it in public? were there people looking at you when you were fucking or getting head?

i mean its not the smartest thing healthwise, but the give out condoms for free. i never did fuck anyone in the club though. but honestly, could be the same chance to get an std if you hook up with a girl from tinder.

>>664030318
People...and also the underage children in the photos ate doing and having done nothing sexual to or around them. They are being raised nudist like their parents and will grow up without so much of a sexual nature as their non nudist friends will. Porn will still be porn but the nudity aspect of it is completely different as they can tell imaginary people from the general population...it actually makes them more sensual in relationships not looking for just sex and more likely to have a long term relationship rather than a one night stand

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>Because I'm a grower.
>Not a shower

Even though for all intensive purposes it's better to be a grower, women prefer a big limp penoir

>>664030670
There are places you can walk around naked and if you want you can have sex in public on the beach. Hedonism is a place to do this. It's an estranged type of nudistm as in odds more sexual based whereas pure nudists is about love rather than lust

>>664030670
>the first one i fucked on the wall
pretty shure some where looking but in those clubs its like *nevermind*

>the second one i payed the room for,
that milf gave me the best ride ever

ye you are right but why should i even risk it if i have those controlled clubs here, problems solved before i even have to think about it.

>>664030700
sure. what do the kids do when they hit puberty and don't really have control over their boners yet?

>>664027338
Virgin of virgins.
If you've ever been to a nude beach you'd be disappointed. It's not all attractive people. It's all people fat, hairy, mis-shapen, bald, balding, etc. Yes there are attractive people, but they're few and far in between. Both nude beach I've been to has been the same. Little beach on Maui, Hawaii and the Badalona beach in Spain.
Tl;dr shut the fuck up retard.

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>>664030790
>intensive purposes

>amazing milf
>befriend her
>tells me how she used to visit a nudist beach
>one day access to her nudes because she needed me to transfer some files
>fap really hard to them
>didn't save them
>I'm now regretting it

>>664030936
boners are a normal part of life, nothing to be ashamed of

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>>664027102

It's -15F here right now man

>>664030936
They usually wear clothes. Not everyone at a nudist resort is naked.

>>664027920
I think he meant 7 ° Fahrenheit

>>664027684
It's -1 Fahrenheit here in Chicago

>>664030936
The resort I go to let's kids walk around with clothes on for the most part while adults are generally naked all the time. They realize that certain things can happen for no reason and the kids can just cover up if need be. Kids about 12-18ish usually don't walk around naked because they are going through changes and still feel self conscious about their bodies. The only place puff required nudity is the pool area

>>664031049
so is fucking and breeding.what makes you think that because they're used to seeing each other naked they're gonna be less effected by their hormones?

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>>664027102
Here in the states, this pretty much sums up why. The sight of a boob turns guys into incalculable morons, galactic dickheads, or just plain creepers.

>>664028448
A nude beach was the first place I ever got stung by a bee. I was walking on the shoreline and stepped on it. Until that point I may have been allergic. I was 26.

>>664031082
You weird ass brits.

It's been -40F the last few days. My windows are literally freezing on the inside. The outside world can go die. I fucking work outside, too.

>>664031327
This is the problem with guys in the states and why I think non sexual nudity should be allowed publicly possibly with a curfew to prevent acts of sexual encounters

>>664030932
i kinda want to fuck a girl while people watch. is that somthing youre into? its a huge fantasy of mine. oh well, some day.

>>664030906
yea i know. there's a place in jamaica right?

>>664031429
Nigga, where do you live?

>>664029309
aren't whorehouses legal and clean in germany?

>>664031511
He literally just said the name of the place.

But there are "places" throughout the Caribbean and even in the States.

>>664031327
Shit, that shit looks straight like propaganda.

Like someone wanted to paint people in a specific light, to be honest.

>>664031013

It warms my heart to know you noticed :)

>>664031598
Yes. Did that anons statement contradict that (right) impression of you in any way? If so, how?

>>664031590
A small fishing village in Greenland.
We don't have much up here, but it's my job to go out and make sure there aren't any bodies around the village and ensure that our generators keep running so we don't lose conta-

>>664031327
Around blacks never relax.
>>664031673
>Meanwhile in New York City
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/nyc-crime/teen-gang-raped-fiends-brooklyn-playground-article-1.2491087

>>664031511
>made my dick explode
not a fetish but it was intense.
you MUST have tried it even once in your life i recommend it.

>>664031327

This is the problem with /b/ now

> that people like you orbit here and have a problem with what is 90% the whole fucking site

GTFO

>>664031212
>7 ° Fahrenheit

>>664031429
>-40F
i have no concept of how cold or not this is.

what is that in international units?

>>664031082
>>664031429
Only Americans use Fahrenheit. Rest of the world uses Celsius.

Nice try m8's.

Because I get boners easily and would rather not have to explain every boner I ever get lol

>>664032085
well 32 fahrenheit is 0 degrees celsius

>>664027102
Because I look like chewed bubble gum thats been rolled on the rug

>>664031907
no, but my point is why pay all that money for some random possible uggo at a resort when it would be faster, more affordable, and you could pick out exactly what you want at the whorehouse?

>>664031916
loled, underrated post.

>>664027102
see that right there.. the slit? See her pussy woman literally have a hole ready to get fucked it's asking for it. l told them this ins court but they wouldn't listen

>>664032114
It's kinda funny lol. Amerifags do a lot of things differently such as meters vs feet and liters vs gallons. One of the things we actually follow much of the world it's driving on the right side of the road. Britbongs fucked that one up lol

>>664031929
I'm just saying. It's pretty easy to cherrypick.

>>664032085
Rule of thumb, -40F is -40C, while 32 F is 0 C.

>>664032512
Also kilometers vs miles

>>664027102
i live in canada. the air often burns your skin with cold.

>>664032527
Not really. Niggers are parasites that instead of moaning about "white supremacy" should fuck off back to West Africa and leave all the white invented technology they love so much behind.

Because I'd pop a boner around kids

>>664032085
-40c.

How cold that feels to you depends on the average temperature of where you live. -20 is pretty moderate to us, and people usually start wearing shorts about then. -40 is cold enough that your eyes will freeze shut in under 10 minutes if you try to walk anywhere.

>>664032714
If it weren't for blacks and all the immigrants the US wouldn't even be built yet

Dumb fucks not knowing -40F is -40C

>>664031631
you know hedonism isnt a place?

>>664031982
ahhhhhh
so many sexual fantasies, so little time!!!
fuck living in the conservative arab world. my only chance are american exchange students learning arabic
>tfw i put arabic in them

>>664027102
Small dick

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>>664032965

>>664032714
Here you go.

You do know that there's quite a few blacks against movements like #blacklivesmatter, right? Rational people. You're worried about melanin. You're equal to the whiny black cunts who keep blaming the white man for every single one of their failures.

My dick is too big, I couldn't hide my boners

>>664032965
Hedonism IS, in fact, a place. Two places, actually. Used to be three, but one closed. I know bc I fucked a peppy white teacher from South Carolina at one of them.

>>664033185
My bad. One place. Used to be two.

>>664027254
is that josh homme?

>>664031673
If you think blacks have a monopoly on acting like this, you're not paying attention.

>>664033185
Hedonism II is a place, in Negril. Hedonism III used to be a place, in Runaway Bay I think. There has never been a Hedo I.

>>664033496
Right. That's why I corrected myself. Hedo I never existed.

Because I'm black, and nudists are some of the most racist people in the world.

>>664032965
>thumbs up
i got to go to work now
ah and bro i once fucked one of your girls
she was pretty shy but holy shit damn tits hidden under those 564857458 layers of clothes.
believe it or not women are as pervert as men, do NOT give up, you will allways find the horny bitch, does not matter where you come from.

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Because I can't remember the last time in which I was flacid

>>664033656
Place I go has a small population of black people. No one is racist at all. You are considered very popular if you can play volleyball well

>>664033779
That filename, bruh

>>664027102
> U woudn't get kicked off the beach for walking with raging erection

>>664033805
I think because it's more of a hippie culture anyway a lot of black people aren't really into it, at least around me

>>664027102
i am

it will be a mistake to not show my 8,5inches

>>664033772
you remind me of a good german friend of mine from hamburg. i like him. and yea i agree with what you said

fuck as many girls from us as you can. they all need dicks badly and need to loose their clothes.

>>664034015
post pics right now
i want to see it

>>664034015
Nudists don't brag about dick size fake bruh

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Nudist girls are the best
Prove me wrong
Protip. You cant

Why are there never any asian nudists? Only creepy white men, ugly white women and sluts who want breast tans then feel victimized when they get breast cancer?

>>664031013
Hey man no need to be harsh. I know its a doggy dog world but cut him some slack.

>>664034273
Most nudists aren't like this but they stand out a lot more when they are like this lol. Not polite to stare at people but I was told by a nudist that everyone looks, just keep it at a glance

>>664034273
>overly tanned

pass

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>>664034273
Easy. Here, these are nudists. Yours are just models taking pics.

>>664030227
Because the country's laws are bound by the Constitution. Nudism has been declared part of free speech by the SCOTUS. These forums are private and can ban anything they want.

>>664032512
>right side of the road
>Britbongs fucked that one up lol

ausfag drives on the left thanks to UK and agrees.

if for no other reason than purely engineering. engines rotate clockwise from behind where the driver sits... so the peak location for the driver is left side of the vehicle to counteract the torque.

this is why drag cars always put the driver on the left.


still... driving on the left still has a chance to win out thanks to most of asia.

>>664034562
>nudist
The tan lines say otherwise.

>>664034701
Most nudists go to public places for most of the summer and end up with tan lines as they go to a nudist place maybe only a couple times a year

>>664027159
this

>>664032835
Yes it would and it would have been better

>>664034653
Just being used to driving on the right would make it personally difficult to switch sides of the road. I would hate to be a postal worker in the US. They drive on the right side of the road on the right side of the vehicle during work and switch when off work

>>664034956
Black people due to slavery basically built the current America, however out black people weren't around to be slaves white people probably would've used another race to be slaves

>>664032355
because it's good game, you frightened little pussy

>>664033264
My bad . Five places. Used to be one.

I rate this thread 5/7

>>664034337
This.

>>664035148
that or they would've came up with some machine to do the work. honestly if we got rid of slavery earlier and didn't import the niggers to begin with th U.S. would've been much better off now.

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>>664036116
I agree but no one thinks about the future lol. Or possibly were just thinking black people would always be considered slaves

>>664034337
Modesty is too big a part of most Asian cultures. Nudism is kind of the opposite of that.

>>664036347
A big portion of Asians are Buddhist so they are very modest

>>664036347
>Modesty
>Asian cultures
isnt this the place where they have game shows where you get to feel up 10 sets of tits to find out which one is your sisters?

>>664036556
but they still censor the dick and pussy in hardcore porn

>>664035538
I think I'd be more frightened of a whorehouse. The only complaints I ever got about my body from any of my lays was, "ouch!", and I've fucked a girl in front of her friends and no problem with exhibitionism if they want to see.

I accidentally stumbled across a nudist beach once. My friend and I were walking from bay to bay around rocks, crossing rivers and shit. We ended up walking thirty kms that day. Anyway, we climbed around a cliff and saw about twenty old naked men sunbathing on the sand. We just cracked up laughing as we walked past. On the way back there were two old women and 25 old men.

Alternatively, camping on my own on a small private beach I have swam naked, it's pretty cool, but it's probably just the novelty of it.

>>664036701
so the government is a prude... doesnt mean the people are.

and they obviously arent despite carefully crafted outward appearances.

>>664034273

> horribly proportion of the body
> shitty legs
> if I gave her doggy I'd ram her flat ass so hard she'd go up a panty size

>>664027102
I am.
Girlfriend dont know. I take my motorbike to the nudist beach (40 min drive)
then i lay in the sand, and tease everyone.
Last time, i had a handjob by some old dude. Was great. Looking forward to the summer.

>>664034989
That's for safety, you need to see the cars in front of you. That's why you always walk against the traffic when you're a pedestrian.

>>664035148
>Implying totally white Europe didn't do as good as America during the same time.
Fgt.

>>664036895
but they still try to keep up appearances none the less. plus being a perv behind closed doors doesn't make you want to be an exhibitionist.

>>664036895
Very few who appear to be prudish actually are. Plus, that whole shame culture is pretty powerful.

>>664027102
Well I would end up raping some nudist bitch and my gf's pussy is like a leaky faucet, so it wouldn't work out for either of us.

>>664037620
Leaky faucet good, or leaky faucet bad?

If the former, pics.

>come nudist over night
>go to nudist beaches and resorts
>little naked girls everywhere

Just don't get a hard on and you'll be sweet

is winter you dumb fuck

I want to go to a nudist beach/resort someday. Only problem is they aren't a big thing in America.

>>664027159
>this
Fix the fat part, and that might help with the small dick part.

>>664031469
> This is the problem with niggers in the states

Fix'd

>fat
>ugly
>small dick

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>>664037832
Good. Pic doesn't do it justice. It runs down her freaking leg.

>>664037112
>Implying white Europe didn't have more than 2000 years of development over America

Cause it's fucking freezing.

>>664030790
>intensive purposes

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>>664027102
No one wants to see me naked, and it's like 20ºF outside.

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>>664027102

Been to Hedonism II six times, going back this July for their 8th semiannual Young Swingers Week takeover. Good times.

>>664039794
more?

>>664039794
I like how he's hard towards the end and the white guy walks by looking.