Green text story thread

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Well /b/, I've been on here for quite some time so here it is. The tale of how my life turned from absolute shit into gold.
>Be me
>Be tall and lanky as fuck in shithole area
>Try to rap but I fucking suck
>Always get arrested for vandalizing
>One day playing basketball with friends who absolutely suck
>Literally just schooling them with godly moves that freeze them
>Confident so I try a trick shot
>Fail miserably
>Ball rolls into area of Silverback blacks
>uhoh.jpg
>Silverbacks shove me around and make me their bitch
>One of them literally lifts me over his head
>Go home fucked up
>Crazy/old as fuck mom somehow blame’s me
>Literally shoving finger in my face
>Tells me I have to move now because she's afraid
>Fucking pissed because my close friends and weed guy were here
>"Fuck it"

>Arrive at airport early morning
>Fucked up taxi with personalized plates rolls up
>Fucked up feelings about getting in this thing
>"Fuck it, just want to get to my new home"
>Fucked up driver just slams the gas before I can even close door
>Arrive at new home around 7:30AM
>I look like a fucking bum
>Still dressed like I'm in my old ghetto
>Hat looks like it's from a fucking Asian cartoon
>"Fuck it"
>Knock on door
>Get my head together and walk in like I own the place

>Turns out new family has some actual money even though black
>Turns out I can use this money
>Bro cousin is a manlet pussy but we get along
>Femanon cousin is typical brat and slut
>Aunt keeps to herself
>Uncle constantly gives me shit but he's chill

>Don't have job
>Don't attempt to have job
>Help out family problems to distract from no job
>Literally do whatever I want now even though no job
>Uncle has law connections
>Can get in trouble and get away with anything
>Spend all my time getting pussy
>Spend all time hanging with friends
>Just use family money and connections to live
>Realize I'm the only black guy that white people like
>Become the whitest black guy you'll ever know.

Pic Related: The throne that I sit on as the prince of Bel-Air

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Bumping until I finish my grn txt

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>>663655203
>>663655231
Nice

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>>663655548

thanks bro, OC.

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>>663655231
anyone is able to figure it out after basketball.

>>663655508 Here we go

>Be me last year
>Haven’t seen my cousin in months
>We meet up at family x-mas party
>Her bf is on the phone outside talking to some girl from his job
>My cousin, we'll call her Nik was mad b/c she knew they were prob fucking
>I comforted her as I always do b/c I love my cousin
>We haven't seen eachother in almost a year and she was like "I forgot how based you can be anon"
> She hugged me and put her hand up my shirt and I noticed I had my hands up hers a little on her back
>She give's me a peck on the cheek and I gave her a quick one back on the lips
> Then she kissed me on the lips and we start making out in my grandparents room (the party was at my grandparents house)
> She was like I'm sorry we can't and I said "hold on just follow me into the bathroom for a minute"
>We started making out and I got her pants off and she started saying "no, no we can't fuck plz M stop"
>I said "Nik, I need to make you happy and were not fucking b/c I don't have a condom, btw it's legal to marry your cousin in this state"
> I sat her on the bathroom counter and ate her out
>She was moaning so bad she put the hand towel in her mouth
>She came so hard she pissed on my face aswell as in my mouth, then she cleaned me up and we went back out to the party.

No one asked a goddamn question and thought we were talking b/c they knew she was upset. Waiting for her to call me. TRUE STORY NO SHIT, I PROMISE!

>>663655548
>nice shitpost pasta

Get out.

>>663655231
saw it coming after the 4th line. try harder.

>>663655890
Gtfo incestuous nasty man

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"Give me stuff to repost on /r/4chan for internet-points" the thread.

Fuck you redditards. Go to hell.

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>>663655203
>>663655231
And my name is Jayden Smith, my daddy beats me, I like clouds 'n shit.

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>>663656282
Nope, btw that is OC, I just like telling anons. It was fun and intense, thought she was gonna tell her bf.

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>>663655508

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>>663656886
Oh I have more of those I thought we were just doing OC, here ya go.

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I'm catfish man

>>663657201
I was the guy in that thread with the same pic
just thought it was funny my post is in a screencap

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>>663657201

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>>663654608
UNITED STATES TEXT FORCE:
HUMANS OF MERICA OF LIVING OF EXIGENCY OF STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far of miles.
put any video cameras connected of internet ta your face (whenever sheltered so of other-than/not seeing sky of so of drones of hovering/flew/floating/levitating and so human of military of United States of collecting/getting/having/possessing data-of-matter/communication-of-obviousness-of-reality so of warring)...and I am of text of since if you are panicked/terrified/terrored/fearing of coercion/harm/wrong/terrible body movement of not/other-than helpful/effective/useful/good so you live then stay/rest/relax at a one/single safe place ta time your breaths and blinks so of STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far of miles...of timed so of less stimulations ta live of STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far of miles...since planned stimulations of since you of planned of timing of body movements ta cause vital/healthy/necessary living...and since I time my breaths and blinks ta sense/sensation of touch of pulse of my heart so I am of less stressings of energies at me ta cause so I am living of other-than/not/no harm.
...
..
...and my pic is of map of embassies/equipment-and-and-or-artificed-machinations since of human of United States military of a-ction/slackening-and-tensing of muscles

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>>663657333
Thanks for the screencap then, that is my favorite grn txt of all time. Shit was tits.

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>>663658058
Here's a classic

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>>663658302
topkek

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>>663658520
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'M KILL

>>663658870
Oh fuck yeah! A second chance to put in my social security number

>>663658870
I believe you want to spread viruses

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>>663658923

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>>663658870
We were all just having a good time until...

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The Legend of the Spinner

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>>663659679

>>663659353
Holy shit
True /mischief/ here
More like this pls

somebody got the "I became jehovah witness for grill and then grill left but I stayed JW" one?

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>>663659979

This guy made a thread on /lit/ a month ago (may still be in the archive) about a selection of his favorite greentexts.
http://www.amazon.com/be-collection-greentexts-Aapo-Nikkanen-ebook/dp/B0186AA5L4/

This is his collection in epub for those who don't own a kindle. I'd rec you to have a look, he is a man of taste.
https://u.pomf.is/utqqef.epub

this was an absolutely terrible effort

Someone has the story of neal ?

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>>663660579
Funny, that's exactly what I told your mom last night, now get back to work Brian, do your homework.

/r/ing the story of a female whom was a slut in college

>anon post story of sut GF
>b makes calculation of how many miles of cock shes taken

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>>663654608
>graduate high school, 2007
>go to Air Force
>get kicked out 28 days later
>live back at parents' house with step-father
>get sent to Job Corps
>leave Job Corps 10 days later
>go live with aunt two states away
>get kicked out, have to live with cousin 20 miles away
>get kicked out because he's deploying
>be back at parents' house
>months pass by
cont
>start working at a plant that is 40 mins away by car
>get laid off about 2 months later
>mother comes back from overseas
>move up north with parents
>enlist in Army
>finish Basic Training
>get kicked out of AIT
>back at parents' new house in northern state
Which was actually on yet another Army base
>do nothing but drive around, play RuneScape and Xbox, and read comic books until the following July
>move to foreign country
>didn't like it, move to old house now occupied by aunt and uncle
>stay there doing nothing but looking for work and/or school for MONTHS...by bike
>find nothing, plan to kill self
>move back overseas with parents
cont
>begin college overseas
>live fat for a while as a student in a foreign country
>have no friends
>be 7,000 miles away from 'home'
>truly find myself and realize who/what I am
>stop complaining and start to turn life around
>have to leave country a second time because mother's time is up
>move back to old house with parents
>look for a new school
>find one
>go to school by transferring in
>be at school since 2013
>oldest student in most classes, can't connect with most people
>slowly fade into a 'fringe friend' status with few friends made
>no one wants to talk to me for prolonged periods at a time
>find myself in my senior year, mostly browsing /b/, doing homework, interning, and wondering where my life went wrong
>opened this thread

>>663654608
>house party at like 8 in the fucking morning

I call bullshit.

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>>663659233
I was not prepared for this

>>663661223
Holy shit you're retarded

>>663661129
Well

>>663655035
Holy fucking shit that hurt me deep inside

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>>663661506
And I've been single since 2005. So, yeah. Gotta use headphones now, since one of my roommates is up, and FUCKING BLASTING his music.

Why would a person *need* to be the center of attention in a dorm of only 4 guys, 1 of which isn't even here?

>be finnish
>45 year old
>movement teacher
>student are 12-13
>they had tight cloth on
>today was after class
>the girl go into a shower
>can see more nudism body
>her breast grow to the fuck
>little hair look has the trim
>erect my penis
>"do you have ok"
>she look out to me in wet shoulder hair
>cover breast growth but can both nipple
>"yes"
>turn to go into shower
>"you don't look the shower"
>"but your body can't say yes"
>she run out to nudism
>hear she tell to the head master
>he invited me to the office of his
>"stop never again or you get a shoe"

I don't want a shoe for my money but what can stop the girl look time? I can see every day the girl when she into a shower and all had the body of good look to make resistance hard for penis

every day I have have tempetation resist. I can the future too but the head master can give me a shoe if I look more to the girl shower.

>be me when i was 17
>blonde girl with braces and pigtails is 14, my buddy's lil sister
>shes always talking about being a virgin
> we start drinking beers, she tells me she loses all self control after a single beer, I make sure she drinks two
> I take her outside to the backseat of my car,
>make out like crazy, pull off her pants and she has the most perfect pink pussy I have ever seen. Tits are a bit small but perfect pink nipples
>fumble to get condom on diamond dick, she is nodding off "drunk" off two beers
>shove it in and absolutely cannot hold back the flood
>cum on the third pump
>fake that I have a cramp and stop, make shit up like now isn't a good time
>she asks me if she is still a virgin
>yup.cum

>>663661223
Do you even reading comprehension bro?

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>>663658302

>>663654608
who plays basketball after seeing their dad die on 9/11?

>>663661871
pathetic fuckers and your copy pastas

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>>663661821

>>663658157
too bad it's fake

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>>663661784
Shit, son. I've had a girlfriend for the past two years and have kept up relationships all my life. And I'm nothing impressive. I hope you get shit together, mate. You've made it this far.

>>663662260
Pathetic fucker that cant see b8

>>663660918
are you 12 or something?

That story was predictable from the 5th line.

>>663658870
Wow! I just downloaded it and it's legit!
Come on guys, some prime fap material awaits you, no viruses here !!

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>>663662301
Yeah, I'm trying. This year's started out pretty shitty though, with me having been rejected for the JET program right before the semester even started.

>feel like MF Doom most of the time, because I wear a mask to the rest of the world

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>>663662380
Sry m8 I thought you were talking about mine, I made the cousin one, that is OC, I knew the first guy was Fresh Prince by the third line, that was stupid, my bad. I'll kill myself senpai.

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>>663662608

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Best time favourite

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>>663662820
Could definitely use this on the roommates.

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>>663660369

>>663655035
Holy fuck it's too early for these feels.

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I forgot what this one was but too lazy to check

>>663656162
This.

>>663658520
Holy shit I was there!

>>663663849
Are you a nigger? Because this shit is what Evey image niggers tweet looks like

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>>663661069
I got you fam

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>>663664768
jeeze senpai I found a less blurry one just for you >>663663849