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Fuck that "its like a void that cant be filled" type bullship people say. Depression is just being sad all the time for no reason. There is nothing poetic to it. Nothing interesting. Just sadness. If you know someone with it, don't stimulate them too much because they will get attached but make sure you communicate with them at least once a day for a little while.
>>662478348 It is different things for different people. I often hear it described as a big hairy monster sitting on you that you must shift every time you need to do something. For me it manifests as a lack of motivation, energy, or interest in more or less anything. It is unpleasant, but it is one among many problems for me.
>>662478348 Imagine having overwhelming self-awareness of you and everyone and everything around you. Realizing that nothing matters and eventually giving into the fact that there is no reason to do anything and everything becomes a chore. There's no reason to get up, there's no reason to work, go to school, ect. You've basically hit the end of the line mentally and are waiting for a conclusion. Nothing makes you happy anymore as nothing matters.
Most of these kids are just depressed because of petty shit.
My girlfriend has pretty bad depression and she's on a pill cocktail of 4 and she will just get sad for no reason. Like the other day in first period band (both seniors) i sit down but im across the room because in a concert arch low brass is opposite side from flutes and i look over and shes in tears with her friend hugging her. Then yesterday i was going with friends to play d&d and i hug her then I looked into her eyes and she just looks terribly sad and wouldn't talk about it. She also will just do random things away from home as precautions when she feels suicidal and shit. Doctors still don't know whats wrong with her too
I was depressed for a long time until I realized that all of the limits that were in place, all of the shit that spills out of western societies' collective cunt-mouths and ruins stuff for the non-retards, was out of my control and not my fault.
Then I just got cynical and full of hate.
If depression is hating yourself, then just figure out how to shift the anger towards someone else. The first step, of course, is to stop failing miserably at life. Once you figure out that life is shit even when you don't make it so yourself, it's easy to hate the world.
depression comes and goes whenever an hill in the usual mountainous way of life, shows up. It's dull and gray you feel like you don't belong to your body. after awhile, when life get to its normal way, you don't feel depression anymore.
If you switch useless and unjustified anger for useful, justified anger, is the problem only diverted? The second type of anger can actually allow you to improve yourself, so would seem to be a solution (if you're not angry about anything in life you're definitely missing something).
>>662480143 Says the guy without depression. If you don't have depression, you don't "get" depression. That aside, I agree with you that big pharma just shoves pills at us that won't fix our problems.
Antidepressants change the way your brain uses neurotransmitters like Serotonin. I don't want to take a pill that requires my brain. No wonder they make some people more depressed, or commit suicide.
>>662480243 This is a better way, in my opinion. Give the body the nutrients/feedstock it needs to do its job naturally. Maybe you can't make enough 5-HTP (possible) or your diet is deficient in Tryptophan (super unlikely). You're not changing how your brain works, you're just giving your body what it needs and letting it do what it will with it. It seems like a more holistic approach.
Depression is a sad reality for an estimated 350 million others on this planet. Of that estimated 350 million suffering from depression, over a million of those people will kill themselves. A million people each year globally die by suicide. Why do so many people kill themselves?
>>662480350 Please elaborate? 5-HTP is found in a number of foods. Most 5-HTP supplements are derived from edible plants. You sound like you're talking out your ass and being inflammatory, so until you explain your bullshit, I'll assume it's just that: bullshit.
>>662478348 Imagine every day that you you hate yourself. You go through your average day at work thinking about all the people that shit on you over the years. You suspect that your own mother is ashamed of you. Every night for the past thirty years she's wept at night "Why couldn't he just been normal?"
You see the safety tether on machine in the warehouse. You think of ways that it could be fashioned into a noose.
"Am I the only one who wants to die young? In my next life I'll be everything I never was. My grave has never looked as sweet as tonight. We all have dark days, for me the darkness stays. I have one wish: let me forget the hell I’m in. I am alive in my grave. I don't mourn for the dead. I envy their fate.
Depression is like a casket in a shallow grave Out of sight, but I promise it will never go away.
This is a world where I am loved only by death.
I wish I had the strength to slit my own throat. Remember when I said I want to watch myself choke."
This is all just excerpts of lyrics from an album I really like, describes it pretty well. Anons, please confirm.
>>662478348 I have self-diagnosed depression. I hate the world and browse 4chan all day. I think it's actually mainstream media that is constantly criticizing me (white man = bad man) that is causing me to feel like this. Bitches are just trying to keep the man down.
But i'll never surrender cause it's awesome being a white man.
>>662481586 Definitely not a placebo. It's been studied in humans. Its method of action is well understood, I even explained it in my post: L-Tryptophan -> 5-Hydroxytryptophan (5-HTP) -> 5-Hydroxytryptamine (Serotonin)
Supplementing with 5-HTP has been proven to increase brain and gut Serotonin levels. In fact, it's so effective, there is such a thing as "too much 5-HTP".
>>662481475 You said that the 5-HTP will be made into serotonin. Too much serotonin in the brain will give you serotonin syndrome, which is a horrible and painful way to die. I'd be careful with that shit.
Do you ever just dread doing something? Like you stare at the thing you have to do for the longest time just absolutely thinking of every way you can get around it because you have no motivation to do anything? It's like that. But with everything. Even shit you like.
>>662482430 This is completely true. But 100mg is a normal dose for 5-HTP. You may not know this, but Serotonin is found in other places in your body other than your brain. You need a larger dose of 5-HTP because the vast majority of it is used to create Serotonin in your gut. Only a small portion of it makes Serotonin in your brain.
Doses as high as 300mg/day are normal and safe for most people. I mean, don't be a dumbass about it. You can kill yourself by drinking too much water too.
Depression sucks. For me personally it feels likr no matter what i do, it is pointless, weather i get wealthy or do things that are generally referred to as "fun." Etc. Etc. It feels like it has no purpose. No one has any purpose. Pic semi related, built a rotary engine during depression so i could drift it, slam into a wall, and die. Im over it noe somewhat, but somedays i still feel like im depressed and it sucks.
Another fun fact about 5-HTP. It's been shown to help with insomnia. (Though there is evidence linking some forms of insomnia with depression. In other words, some forms of insomnia might actually be forms of depression) Taking 5-HTP can help your brain make and store Melatonin during the daytime, and it's been proven to shorten the amount of time one spends in the lighter stages of sleep. You spend more time in REM sleep.
>>662478348 Depression: dat moment when you realize you're not the best thing ever and life has no purpose. Literally every single person has to realize and deal with those feels. Depression is people who are too pussy to deal with it properly.
>>662483056 Rotary engines are so fucking cool. Also I don't get it. Why did you have to rebuild an engine specifically meant to power a car that you were going to an hero with? Why didn't you think of an heroing in another way?
>>662478348 It kind of sucks. Some days I just wont go to work and lie in bed. When my girlfriend comes home I just lie and say I went to work. Girlfriend will ask whats wrong or are you depressed and I just pretend like everything is ok. I dont wear a seatbelt because I feel like that would be an easy way out. Sometimes I just stare down the barrel wondering what it would be like.
I don't fear death in the least. I'm just not out chasing it.
>>662482953 its a lot easier to fuck yourself up taking 5HTP than by drinking too much water. lots of recreational drugs and even some over-the-counter medicines interact in bad ways with 5HTP and might cause serotonin syndrome. not just ecstasy and SSRIs.
My girlfriend texted me earlier that she misses me (she's out of town for the week) and instead of feeling good that there is someone out there that wants to see me, I feel like deep down she (or anyone else for that matter) doesn't care and I won't see her again.
>>662483834 Also I prefer to just lay in bed during any free time. Some days I don't even get up. I don't want to go hang out with friends. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just hang out on /k/ for hours at a time on my phone.
>>662483529 Because it sucks, really, while i was in depression, i had a blank mind, it was as if i were a robot, with a concious mind that wanted to do things and go places, but i could only do the thing that i was programmed to. I could sit in a chair staring at someone getting stabbed to death and not draw a single feeling out of it. There really is no good way to explain depression. Even after i built my engine and it actually fired up, i had not a single reaction to it, my friends were excited, i was not excited or sad, i was nothing.
>>662484038 If you're that fucking worried about it, go talk to your fucking doctor before you start hamfisting half-bottles of 5-HTP hourly. 5-HTP is relatively safe, stop fear mongering you big pharma shill.
Not being able to feel joy is depression. Not being able to feel anything is absolute apathetic numbness or a major sign of sociopathy.
I repressed my emotions for long enough that I don't feel long-term feelings anymore. I can make myself feel short-term emotions if I put work into it - for example, If I focus and get drunk and play the right music, tv scenes, etc. I can make myself cry - but long-term shit just doesn't work on me anymore.
Can you force yourself to feel with music and stuff, even if the feeling fades away after 30 minutes? If you can, you can be numb and use it to your benefit as long as you don't let it drive you insane.
>>662484466 I take L-Dopa Mucuna Pruriens extract, not for depression, but to potentiate stimulants. It can can fuck your up heart rhythm if you don't take it with a COMT inhibitor like EGCG containing green tea extract so that the L-Dopa isn't metabolized out side of the blood brain barrier.
>>662483756 When i was depressed, i wanted to just die honestly, buy i couldnt just stab myself with a knife, i alwayd say its because i didny want to go to hell, but dying whilr driving was just my excuse. I wad to scared to do it, so i figured if i died by an accident it wouldnt be suicide,and it would enable me to kill myself (what i wanted to do.) Sorry if thisd doesnt make sense, im drunk.
>>662485190 Yeah I can tell that you are a little drunk, but hey I haven't slept for over 48 hours so we are about on the same level. I suppose that it shouldn't be a surprise if your suicidal ideations weren't exactly rational.
I don't know if I am depressed, but I don't ever feel like doing anything anymore, if I'm at a party, would rather be at home playing computer games, if I'm out for supper with friends, same thing. I like being alone but I also like being with people but when I'm with them I want to be alone
>>662485310 It sounded very suspiciously like you were trying to demonize 5-HTP. I'm not suggesting anyone take any drug without knowing what it does and what it interacts with. If they're too lazy or dumb to research and understand it themselves, they need to see a doctor.
I suffered from it for 2 years before I did anything about it. Certain life circumstances lead up to it and I was just tired of feeling like shit all the time. I wouldn't say I was sad constantly but there were long stretches for sure. You just feel like youre weighed down by something that isn't there. You have no motivation to do anything. To see anyone. Sometimes even cook for yourself. I went weeks on granola bars because I couldnt get my head in the game to make anything else. Then I finally got some pills. After a while I was feeling better. Took them for a year, but it didnt feel like the depression was gone. Merely just in the back of my mind. It made the manufactured happiness seem fake. So I stopped taking the pills a week ago. Im back to where I was. I kind of missed this feeling. Maybe im not depressed. Maybe im just addicted to feeling miserable.
>>662484965 I was just overexaggerating, but i gad depression so bad that i didnt care if i died, but i just coulsnt bring myself to do it. I am much better now though. I do have days where i still feel depressed but that happens maybe once a month only now. I think the thing that was supposed to kill me "my car" the rx7. Has actually helped me overcome depression by a lot.
Everything sort of just loses its panache. You eat a lot less, because your hunger ceases to exist after you start to show signs of lethargy. Honestly, I sleep for a majority of the day. If I'm not at work, I'm sleeping.
Of course sleeping doesn't do much for me, I can't remember the last time I've had a dream. And despite all the sleep I get I'm never actually rested. I go through the day in a near constant state of exhaustion.
Used to be a heavy alcoholic too, but I knocked it because it stopped doing anything for me, emotion wise. I smoke cigarettes on occasion when I can't sleep. Though it's also a one I can claim cigarette breaks at work and sleep more.
Upside is that the emotional aching kind of just turned to nothing. Can't remember the last time I've genuinely laughed or cried. Downside is, that now I can feel the physical duress once again. My back (not sure what exactly, but I'd guess a disc got slipped or something) has been fucked since I was 15 years old, and my teeth aren't in good health either. I can't go through the day awake without taking a bunch of aspiring/acetaminophen/tylenol/ibuprofen. Any pain medication I can get really.
>inb4 attention craving I'm just answering the OPs question.
>>662485529 I can't comment on that compound in particular, but I know that the cardio issues arise when too much dopamine or norepinephrine accumulates in the peripheral circulation.
L-Dopa is sometimes prescribed to treat Parkinson's and it is given along with a COMT inhibiter for the reason I described before, so that the L-Dopa is only converted to dopamine with in the brain. EGCG is the most easily accessible and legal COMT inhibitor that will work.
>>662486081 It feels like a chore talking to girls, I'm an average looking guy, have had girlfriends, made out with chicks every now and then at parties, but I absolutely hate texting them, talking to them feels like a chore. I think it may be because I value my free time a lot, when I come from work I don't really want to do anything that takes time away from myself. I don't even crave sex really tbh, it's just not that great imo. + I moved to a city where I don't know near as many as I did and I'm somewhat shy(get a few drinks in I'll talk more etc) but clubs/bars not my scene really I'm more of a sit down in a pub type of guy.
>>662486494 Ill have to look further into it. Using COMT to prevent L-DOPA metabolizing into dopamine doesn't make sense to me. To my knowledge, COMT doesn't metabolize L-DOPA, but rather breaks down dopamine. If it works the way I think it does, a COMT inhibitor could actually cause a further rise in dopamine.
I for some reason get immense emotional satisfaction from knowing that, even if she's married and she never will, a woman wants to fuck me. I can go for a long time without actual sex as long as I have her attention and can tell from her body language that she is attracted to me.
I never get close, though, because every time I do I realize she sucks and I hate her and her bullshit isn't worth it. The chase for attention and attraction itself feels like some sort of manipulation and subsequent victory on my part, and that is what keeps me interested in the social scene.
I also feel you though; I want my vidya time. I always tell girls that I'm not looking for a relationship.
Luckily for me this phenomenon keeps me from being a total recluse. I'd recommend it, if you can swing it and enjoy doing so.
Imagine being tired all the time, and no matter what you do you will be tired. Except this tired isn't a not enough sleep kind of tired, it is an unending amount of shit that doesn't stop except for brief moments every other month or so.
>>662487576 I'll give that a try, could be fun. The worst they can say is no and idgaf about getting rejected at all. Going to sleep though, hope all you anons who are depressed sleep well and you feel better tommorow.
>>662487351 Just as I thought, COMT isn't involved in metabolizing L-DOPA into dopamine, it's done by a an enzym called Aromatic L-amino acid Decarboxylase. If you wanted to keep L-DOPA from metabolizing, that's the enzyme you need to target. COMT is responsible for degrading dopamine into inactive metabolites. Inhibiting the activity of COMT will only prevent the body from getting rid of dopamine.
>>662487717 interesting. however, without knowing what parts of the brain are responsible for certain thoughts, its still hard to understand exactly what im looking at when i see an orange brain and a not orange brain. im not saying i dont believe that the lack of orange brain isnt depressed, i just think its shitty that people see these types of pictures (on facebook and such) and think they KNOW the truth about depression.
>>662488173 Okay so this image is an fMRI and tracks changes in blood flow directly across different parts of the brain. >>662485954 This picture is a PET scan which detects where radioactive labeled glucose is concentrated in different parts of the brain. This is a still image that is produced from an exposure over time similar to an x-ray, while the fMRI is in real time and very fast. >>662483068 Both of these indirectly measure the activity of neurons in parts of the brain and it is assumed that blood flow and glucose is directed towards parts of the brain that are most active.
>>662478671 That's like your opinion man. Depending on the artist they may be able to represent or encapsulate the state of depression. Check the photography books of jumpers for some beautiful sight. Ian Curtis did it as well for me at least.
>>662478348 you start things with a positive mindset... this lasts a while until it the end seems near (school etc. ) then you fuck up in the most unbelievable way ever .. you dont even know whats holding you back from finishing something .. you dont know where to get motivation to go on
>>662488173 Yes these scans are often over simplified and at this point cant reliably diagnose depression. However we do know a lot about the brain and what networks are often disrupted or overactive in someone with depression.
Just imagine, though... with how good we are at getting girls to want to bang us, if we actually put in the effort of those 50 fist-pushups a day, we could actually be fucking these women instead of being glad that they would fuck us in an ideal world. The lack of willpower to do just that is one of the reasons I'm still not completely happy.
Was being facetious about the orange, but yes, it is coupled with cerebral blood flow. Tiny bit of pseudoscience, but it's kinda what we got, so...
On the other hand, what is more robust and potentially more interesting are so-called "white matter hyperintensities", which are particularly bright spots on normal MRIs. This means the brain tissue is less dense, which implies its structure has been compromised by lack of blood flow or demyelination and the like.
Those are more common in bipolar disorder. Also in bipolar are the enlarged lateral ventricles and amygdala problems, but with additional shit in the basal ganglia as well. fMRI not quite as fucked up though. Bipolar is seriously a bitch and also requires anti-psychotics ):
pic related: typical white matter hyperintensities. Note the lesions on the lateral ventricles. Fucking brain holes goddamn it.
>>662488173 But I am schizoaffective I have more impressive pictures white things also please notice me sempai
>>662490437 Diffusion MRI is a little bit more academic than that. What's confusing about schizophrenia and bipolar (almost the same thing, serious) is that there is no pervasive underlying change in neuroanatomy besides some localised structural deficits. The problem comes with measuring related changes in specific intra-cellular neurochemistry, as the neurons themselves do not appear to function properly, and although differences in brain chemistry can be measured, it doesn't explain the origin of the different cellular functioning.
At the moment, a lot of the hypotheses are based on what works as treatment. For schizophrenia, there is the "dopamine hypothesis", because hallucinations and delusions are suppressed when D2 and D3 receptors are antagonised. This hypothesis is by no means universally accepted. Psychosis and delusions in bipolar are managed similarly.
For bipolar in particular, the effectiveness of anti-epileptics in treatment have suggested that intracellular glutamate and GABA signalling is involved, but this is also not certain.
>>662491988 Sure, if the astonishing power of simple observations from looking at any "depressed" knuckledragger and seeing that they have 0 meaning in life is too hard for you to understand, then it's a retarded claim.
>>662479405 I didn't want to accept that I had depression, but the emptyness that constantly loomed and the sleepyness after classes and at home just built up. I no longer enjoy science and learning doesn't fulfill me. What the fuck is going on? How do I get anti depressents.
>>662492431 have you read the replies in this thread? almost everyone in here is crying because they're worthless lazy sacks of shit with no goals and amibtions, and then they blame poor lifestyle choices on depression intead of trying to lead a healthier lifestyle.
>>662478671 Considering the best artists since time began suffer from some manner of psychological illness, you just seem like some sort of edgelord that doesn't understand what it is to actually experience a disorder of the mind.
GAD, manic depression, dissociative disorder here. I'll burn your house down and get away with it cuz I'm crazy.
>>662478348 you want to sleep all day, you don't want to live bro, you fucking see only the negative side of everything, it sucks dude, it reallly sucks, i mean you are sad and you can't do anything to help it, so you are screwed dude, i mean, if you are 2 or more years depressed then you should become a drug addict or kill youself cause it is not worth living
>>662493541 I've seen people do that as a coping mechanism, that's true. I've seen people do that with their own parents who have committed suicide, and it's horrifying. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of suicide, please try and find another way at some point because that is self-destructive.
>>662494049 Manic depression with GAD? As if you leave the house. Why you would burn anyone's house down is anyone's guess, unless there was some serious psychosis involved and a mixed episode. More likely to kill yourself in that state though.
Someone sounds newly diagnosed though, so I'll let it slide.
>>662495632 What? It's not painful, just an annoying tapping. Nothing that taking an advil beforehand can't fix if you really have a weak pain threshold. 5 days a week, for 6 weeks, 37 minutes a session.
Probably she was just a whiny bitch.
Whatever though, it worked on me. Worked fucking great, actually.
ive had it about 18 years and it started out me just being as doctors called a troubled teen. but shit happened along the way and for about 2 years straight all i did was sleep and lock myself away. some days can be good days but eventually it feels like a weight drops from my head to my toes, like a literal feeling of weight dropping inside me, and when that happens the world can go fuck itself. also suffered with anxiety and paranoia so hey the sense of impending doom at every corner seriously fucked me. even now i find it hard to socialize and i prefer just being on my own.
shit is real when it comes to depression and every single experience of it is different, but it is not something to take lightly.
>>662495412 This is completely untrue. The causes of depression are unnumerable and the degree is immeasurable but lack of a healthy diet and exercise are scientifically proven causes of depression. Just because your depression isn't as easily remedied by the maintainence of physical well-being doesn't mean you can dismiss other peoples extent of depressive symptoms. Who are you to be such an expert? I know someone who has been suicidal until they went to a gym and turned their life around. I can also see the reverse occurring in which someone who is in peak physical condition would kill themselves. Although that's mere speculation.
I've been taking 2grams(give or take a gram) of l-tyrosene per day. Not consistently everyday though. I gotta say, the days i do take it i feel much better and have even managed to smile and laugh genuinely. It's an amino acid and a precursor to dopamine. It's definetly not a fix but it has helped on the worse days.
I will never understand depression. Why the fuck are kids that have grown up with money depressed about nothing except for attention? Everyone that is self diagnosed with depression are kid's that grown up in a upper middle to rich family. You can have literally anything you want and your life has a great jump start. "It's not about money" but how hard is it to make friends? There's gotta be another loser out there that you can relate to. I've grown up in the slums of South Boston. Roaches and rats infested in my apartment that the landlord doesn't take care of because it's become unrepeatable. My parents were never close growing up and I was bullied in school. I've made the best out of my life and I'm always happy. I must have grown up with thick skin or something because I don't understand how words and make you people cut yourself and feel "depressed"
>>662502330 The fact that you've been handed everything drains any motivation you have out of you. Cause you know if you fail your parents will be there to catch you. Like You realize that people have it a shit ton worse and that you can get a head start. But it's fucked you never have that hungry kind of motivation that other kids get
Kek I'm reading Elliot Roger's manifesto right now. He basically had a pretty good life for the most part, but was overly focused on sex and so butt hurt about being a virgin that that is what led him to commit that murder suicide. What a fucking beta fag, but the scary thing is that I see a lot of myself in him.
Depression is a state of mind. Some people say it's an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, which might also be correct.
For me, depression removes my ability to concentrate. It makes me horribly lethargic and makes it extremely difficult for me to get out of bed. I can sleep 6 hours or 16 hours and be just as tired either way. I can't commit to anything either. It ruins opportunities for relationships and friendships. I struggle to find motivation to go outside and do anything. I get worn out very easily.
Imagine knowing you have this potential but you can't use it because you're always too tired, like you've just woken up. You contemplate everything, you're extremely self conscious and you can't stop your mind from running through a constant reel of scenarios that probably won't eventuate. Then, as an anon said earlier, you're just left waiting for something. Whether it's a conclusion, or for something to change, or /something/.
Depression fucking sucks and anyone who doesn't have it should really think themselves lucky.
>>662478348 It's like a feeling of overwhelming dread coupled with the constant thought that nothing will ever get better and that you're just stuck in this horrific and meaningless existence. I mean it's way more complicated than that but that's the most simple way I could explain what it's like for me.
>>662504989 Ohhhh got cha. I completely agree with you then. "Depression" is a first world problem in my opinion. There's fucking kids starving all over the world and people choose to cry over how "bulling hurts my feelings". It makes me mad tbh.
>>662505500 Medically diagnosed and trying to treat yourself is respectable. It just pisses me off how all these emo kids see depression as a trend and say they have it when they actually live good lives and brag about how they have it.
The zombie apocalypse we've all been waiting for actually occurred and the safe haven of today's society has been wiped out. Would you depressiez feel better or worse? Because then you have a quite clear goal in life: Survival
For me its like a bottomless hole of reasons why I hate living. Dwelling in self-loather because i cant do simple life tasks even if my life depended on it.. Besides that, its just random sadness without any reason behind it. Having it diagnosed made me more depressed about it. It fucking sucks.
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