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>Dolphins are capable of manipulating...
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 301
Thread images: 82
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>Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure. Women cannot
>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to endlessly ejaculate as long as your dick remains in the vagina. women cannot
>Dolphins cannot cheat on you as they do not form lasting, intimate relationships. Women can, and not only can, buy enjoy doing it
>Dolphins do not mind if you fuck another dolphin. A woman will kill you if you fuck another woman
>Dolphins don't mind if you cum inside either. She won't force you to pay child support for 18 years like a woman. She can't even get pregnant
>Dolphins won't leave you for another dolphin with more money. Dolphins do not have a system of currency and are not consumer whores like women
>If you are the submissive type, dolphins can be aggressive, and far more convincingly aggressive, not like a 140 pound bitch who doesn't scare anyone
>Dolphins do not expect you to spend exorbitant amounts of money on them
>Dolphins give up easily
>Dolphins do not demand superior rights to men
>Dolphins do not organize dolphinwalks
>You can ride a dolphin through the ocean
>Dolphins are more intelligent than women

Everything a real woman can do, a dolphin does better, and without being a bitch. So /b/, why haven't you fucked a glorious dolphin yet?
>>
Because I haven't been able.

kek
>>
>>596038032
because they are so fucking slippery i can't catch them
>>
>>596038032
How does one go about fucking a dolphin? Where does one acquire this piece of hardware?
>>
>>596038326

Sorry, micro penis males can't join us in the dolphin docking
>>
I went to Florida several months ago. I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!

So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.

I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.
>>
because we need to live with rules that come from a book thats 1200 years old (bible)
>>
>>596038471
What the fuck.
>>
>>596038471
Better explained than 50 shades of grey
>>
>>596038471
Fuck g8 m8
>>
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>>596038471
>>
>>596038032
Would you let a dolphin fuck your ass???
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>>596038471
Did king of the hill teach you nothing about the dangers of horny dolphins?
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>>596038471
Did you get dolphin AIDS?
>>
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>>596038794
I'm sure I fucking would, just look at this cock, so majestic...
>>
>>596038471
/Thread
>>
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>>596038471
>>
>>596038889
Faggot
>>
copypasta and bullshit anyhow. Does anybody here have any useful webms or info on the topic? Where are there even dolphins where there arent people?

inb4 touching a mammal or interfering with wildlife is an instant 50,000 USD $ fine and a heavy felony.
>>
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>>596038471
>>
>>596038471
Sounds like you had a whale of a time
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>>596039051
<
>>
Fuck that dolphin right in its blow hole
>>
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>>596038471
Dolphag
>>
>>596038955
How is letting myself getting fucked by a superior specie gay?
>>
>>596038471
Dude... You fucked a dolphin...
>>
I'm completely straight,but if i had the option i'd let a dolphin fuck me in the ass.Hell,id do literally anything to be able to have a sexual relatioship with a dolphin,male or female
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>>596039051
>>
>>596039256
kek
>>
>>596039256
So if you got fucked by a less superior animal
Say a dog for instance would you only become a Faggot
>>
>>596039256
it makes you a dolphin fucker, faggot
>>
>>596039596
Better than fucking crazy women
>>
This a pasta now? Nice
>>
>>596038471
>Hey mom i went to seaworld and lost my virginity
>That's great son
>To a dolphin
>>
Dolphins can't give head
>>
>>596038032
where do i find stright dolphin porn?
>>
>>596038471
What the literal fuck did I just read?!
>>
Getting fucked by a gay dolphin???was this dolphin of legal age?
>>
>>596039839
Nowhere
>>
I would definitely fuck a dolphin if I got the chance
>>
>>596039839
in the back of the van
>>
>>596038032
women cook. At least mine, and fucking better than me.
>>
>>596038032
Would you fuck a black dolphin
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>>596039839
I'm sure any beastiality site has something.
>>
>>596038471
boner stop
>>
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>>596040500
A dolphin would bring you fresh seafood for free, does a woman do that?
>>
>>596038889
I would suck the fucking shit out of that cock.
>>
>>596040742
Dolphins can't drive
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I want to fuck a dolphin now...
>>
>>596040905
They can take you anywhere in the ocean, without paying insurance, gas, etc. Does a woman do that?
>>
>>596040905
Women can't drive either.
>>
>>596040905
>women either.
>>
>>596038032
>>Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure. Women cannot

Kegels, ever heard of them? Whenever you get to actually lose your virginity, make sure to get a girl who has done some kegel exercises.
>>
>>596038207
>>
>>596040742
The ones who don't wash sort of do.
>>
>>596038471
yeah... the fuck
>>
>>596038471
Fucking WHY boner, you fucking asshole
>>
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>>596041252
Jesus fucking Christ.
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>>596041207

>expecting a woman to put effort in where it's not required

You must be happy in your fantasy world
>>
>>
>>596038471
FUCKING ACE
you gotta write a book m8
>>
>>596038471
Fetish acquired.
>>
>>596041252
Why
>>
"You can ride a dolphin through the ocean"

Fucking sold
>>
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>>596038032
>Dolphins give up easily

who the fuck really thinks this is true
>>
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>>596041419
moooooooore
>>
found it
http://www.bestialitytaboo.tv/video/1631/dolphin-male-cumming
>>
>>596038471
Still a better love story than Twilight.
>>
>>596041419
Nice
>>
>>596041327
Get balls fag, or a woman, that actually cares.
>>
>>596038032
>Dolphins do not organize dolphinwalks
AHAHA, fucking lost it.
>>
>>596041324
>>596041480
First thing I thought of when I read it, Sorry.
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>>596038032
thread/10
>>
>>596041419
wtf
>>
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>>596038471
>>
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>>596041595
I ain't clicking that shit
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>>596038471
but I can believe right?
>>
>>596041563
>>
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>>596041595
>>
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>>596041877
why?
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>>596041877
Its sort of safe, the dolphin cock looks so nice, and cums like a spray
>>
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>>596038471
>>
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>>596041252
>>
Dolphins can't blow raspberries on my balls
>>
>>596038471

11/10, would fap again

is this dolphin fucking thing becoming a fetish, someone's gotta start a political group to allow consensual dolphin fucking.

i dunno which side the animal activists would be on
>>
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Why are dolphins so insanely horny?
>>
>>596038471

autist detected
>>
>>596042138
>implying you have had a gf blow raspberries on your balls
>>
>>596041327
>>expecting a woman to put effort in where it's not required
It's perhaps not required, but it will be to her benefit seeing that the female orgasm is increased significantly if she's done her kegels. I would be ego enough to do kegels if I'd be a girl; if my partner would benefit as well, then that's just a bonus.
>>
>>596041877
Lol
>>
>>596042201
Fuck a dolphin
Eat tuna
>>
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>>596042270
if you don't have hands to fap.......
>>
>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to endlessly ejaculate as long as your dick remains in the vagina.
>>
>>596038471
Am I a furry now?
>>
>>596042412
sauce ?
>>
>>596042587
dolphins don't have fur
>>
>>596042587
The exact opposite
>>
>>596039292
>didn't read the disclaimer
>>
>>596040905
Ya they can,they got a pretty good, sex drive
>>
>>596042467

this is so fucking awesome, however i doubt the substance works on humans
>>
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>>596038471
Jesus fuck I ain't a furry or into bestiality but I popped a boner
>>
>>596038471
Fucking what
>>
>>596038471
Well, i'm hard now.
>>
I have spent way too much time on the internet trying to find a video of someone fucking a dolphin. I just hope I get to see it once in my lifetime.
>>
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>>596038471

FUCKING DAMMIT
>>
>>596042587
>dolphins
>mammals
Nigga you even science class
>>
>>596042871
You would run dry and still try to ejaculate
>>
>>596038032
>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to endlessly ejaculate as long as your dick remains in the vagina. women cannot
so why hasn't someone synthesized it and made a killing off of it?
>>
>>596043031
Not see, do.
>>
>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to endlessly ejaculate as long as your dick remains in the vagina
I call bullshit
>>
>>596043073
nice b8 m8, I r8 it 0.8/8
>>
>>596043031
I think I misread it because I've been searching for a dolphin fucking a dude
>>
>>596043115
>>596043191
Because it is bullshit
>>
>>596043073
...
>>
Who would not have sex with a dolphin? I probabily bet 90% of you mother fuckers.
(and with these motherfukkers i include my self)
>>
Hot...
>>
>>596040708
Same
Kek
>>
>>596038032
dolphin won't cook
>case closed
>>
I fucked my mother's greyhound when I was younger I also fingered the cat
Am I a furry
>>
Why is it that I am kind of curious about animals fucking women but the idea of animals and dudes fucking is utterly repulsive.
>>
>>596043836
You can cook the Dolphin, case open.
>>
>>596043935
You're into interracial porn.
>>
>>596043935
You haven't lived son
>>
>>596043981
Kek
>>
if dolphins are intelligent cratures, why would a male dolphin want to fuck a stinking human's ape ass, unless of course it is homosexual itself.
>>
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Anyone help a /b/ro out? Links for dophins getting fucked please
>>
>>596044099
For the same reason we would fuck a dolphin, curiosity
>>
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>>596038471
Nice.
>>
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My body is ready...
>>
>>596044099
>>596044131
TOP FUCKING KEK
>>
Check these quads
>>
>>596044277
so close
>>
>>596044277
Quints check em
>>
>>596044249
I would let that pierce my intestines
>>
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>>596038471
>we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company
>>
>>596044277
Roll
>>
Dolphin poon is superior and just as fishy
>>
Flipper was horny
>>
>>596044444
>>
>>596043935
Because it's kinda hard for a woman to rape a animal, but it's much easier for a man to rape a female animal.
>>
>>596038471
Nigga, I won't be impressed until you fuck a Tiger shark
>>
>>596044611
That would be impressive
>>
>>596044611
Kek
>>
>>596038032
You cant fuck a dolphin in the dull nelson position.
>>
>>596038207
>>
Would dolphin sex make a mermaid?
>>
>>596044794
Dull nelson
>>
>>596041595
Fuck, that shit is like a fire hose
>>
>>596038032
Why not horse pussy?
It's much easier to get.
>>
>>596038471
Nice copypasta
>>
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>>596038471
>>
>>596044944
yes. Yes it would
>>
>>596038032
>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to endlessly ejaculate as long as your dick remains in the vagina. women cannot

[citation needed]
>>
>>596044611

1. Shark sex is extremely rough.

Sex between sharks is rarely observed.

2. Larger species of male sharks bite the female to keep them close by during sex.

3. Not to worry, female sharks have evolved defenses to deal with the rough sex.

4. Male sharks have two reproductive organs, called claspers. During sex, they insert them into the female shark’s reproductive opening, called a cloaca.

5. Female sharks stay in shallow water during mating season.

6. Sharks have multiple sexual partners at the same time

7. Sharks have been observed to reproduce asexually.
>>
The offspring of dolphin sex?
>>
>>596044794
>Dull Nelson
>>
If the dolphin was German he would be called adolphin
>>
>>596038818
no, there are no actual niggerfins.
>>
>>596045380
Thanks Discovery channel
>>
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>>596045472
>>
>>596038889
>>596040895
bad-dragon makes those
>>
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>>596045692
Link me to them?
>>
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>>596038471
Mother of god.
>>
>>596045770

google it you fucking lazy nigger
>>
>>596041321
must have moar
>>
>>596045713
Top fucking kek
>>
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Fake anyone nude or hardcore
No rules, any fetish, any body type
nudify-her dot com
pic related;/
>>
>>596038471
ITT newfags don't recognize oldpasta
>>
>>596045924
Their store has no dolphin toys you faggot
>>
>>596044592

Nope. Probably because dudes shouldn't lower themselves by fucking lower life forms but it is hot watching women degrade themselves.
>>
>you will never watch a woman fuck a dolphin and hear her squeal in delight as his cock firehoses cum inside of her.

life is truly suffering
>>
>>596046050
Wat
>>
>>596038471

are you guys FUCKING serious?

this many replies for this piece of shit copypasta?

how many newfags are there here? i can smell your cunts.

http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphins1.html
>>
>>596046628
newfags bitching about newfags
>>
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>>596046628
>>
>>596046784

brah i been here since last friday man. lay off.

that's friday MORNING before american time yo.
>>
apparently male dolphins ejaculate at the speed of a shotgun. So no. Would not fuck a dolphin.
>>
>>596038471
tip kek
>>
>>596046628
Get used to it, dude. People are gobbling copypastas like crazy.
>>
>>596047020
Lets be honest, you still would take it all inside you
>>
>>596039839
animal planet or live shows at Sea World
>>
>>596041140
this is fact
>>
>>596047196
...shit u got me nigga
((really tho u think high speed sperm could do any kind of damage? ive heard of dolphing raping and killing other sea critters))
>>
>>596038032

where can i fuck a dolphin? serious question
>>
>>596042270
Besides humans they are one of the only animals that has sex for pleasure.
>>
>>596038471
Sweet
>>
>>596047542
Those a psycho dolphins, yours will be gentle, and will only hunt to feed you
>>
>>596047640
In the sea? Google? Thats that im goung to do
>>
this fucking thread..
>>
>>596043073
this nigga
>>
>>596047542
High speed sperm does not do damage, have you seen somebody get hurt with a water hose?
>>
>>596047711
brb. need to dump my man to join my loving dolphin husbando in the sea.
>>
>>596047981
Good ridance
>>
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>>596047940
b8
>>
>>596044944
This is how the thoughts of mermaids first came into being. Sailors on long voyages would often pass by ugly English women who would wade out into the sea, they would blow special horns to summon dolphins. The smell of their tuna pussies would cause the dolphins to become sexually aroused in which they would then take the woman, stick it in them, and then become repulsed realizing what they've done.
>>
>>596046958

newfag
>>
>>596047940
getting sprayed in your eye by just a normal squirt gun hurts like hell. Imagine shotgun level blasts of sperm up your ass or vag
>>
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>>596047849
>>
>>596041563
"On my way to fuck your bitch"
>>
dolphin porn thread?
>>
>>596048505
But can you say its not worth to endure a little of pain just to get the privilege of being fucked by a dolphin? I think its totally worth it
>>
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>>596048930
MOOOOOAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>>
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>>596048734
>>
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>>
Without pics or sauce of human dick in Dolphin pussy, I call bullshit.
>>
this one might be a shark or something
>>
>>
K
>>
>>
>>596049283
Thats a dolphin
>>
>>596049177
he's right, you know
>>
>>596038471
Good old 4chan.
>>
>>596039837
>blowhole
They give the very definition of head.
>>
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>>596038471
Mfw
>>
>>596049431
Not Good enough
>>
>>596049783

Where? I really can't see it. All I see is several dozens newfags that fell for old pasta.
>>
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>>596049911
Kek
>>
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Contributing :^)
>>
>>596050635
12/10 would
>>
>>596050635
Now this is what we needed
>>
>>596048996
>>596049375
>>596049431
>>596048996
>>596048734
More?
>>
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>>596050635
>>
>>596039051
Nah it sounded a bit fishy to me.
>>
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>>596039839
Mods!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
so clean, so tight, so firm, so slippery
>>
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>>596038471
>>
>>596050978
FUCKING MAJESTIC
>>
>>596050583

There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn’t he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again post your little Banana and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don’t even fill in the captcha. Maybe you’re such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The “epic” Banana guy, isn’t it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it’s ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that’s right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she’s probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about a fucking banana. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Bananafag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can’t even try to talk with you because all you say is “I REALLY REALLY LIKE THIS PICTURE.” You’ve become a parody of your own self. And that’s all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he’s done a million times now. And that’s all you’ll ever be.
>>
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>>596050978
>>
>>596040741
Hello? Yes, get the fuck out you retarded cunt.
>>
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>>596038032
>>
>>596038032
you're missing the most important part

there are no dolphins that are the colour of shit.
>>
>>596051140

you are trying too hard making this a meme, samefag.
>>
>>596051203
Mmmmmmm, that looks so good.
>>
>>596049911
Never touch around a dolphins blowhole, much less block it.
>>
ITT
OP reveals he is a multi-species virgin
>>
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>>596051203
>>
theres a gif out there somewhere of some dude beatin off a dolphin
>>
>>596041877
>http://www.bestialitytaboo.tv/video/1631/dolphin-male-cumming

beastiality porn is legal to look at in north america (canada and usa) but its illegal to take part in it irl
>>
Do you guys want more? :^)
>>
>>596038480
You need to get out more if you think that's the only reason why people won't fuck animals.
>>
>>596046945
hahahahaha I knew where this would end.
>>
>>596051624
yes please. more dolphin dick
>>
>>596051624
YES
>>
>>596051317

I want this to be true.
>>
>>596038471
pasta. y'all niggers are all new
>>
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>>596051713
>>596051762
k
>>
>>596051871

where is it from? "wet goddess"?
>>
>>596041421
It's copy-pasta from a blog dude...
>>
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>>596052089
>>
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Potential soon-to-be child pornography thread reported.

As a proud member of Anonymous working with other members in Anonymous with #OPInnocence #OPPedoHunt I report all threads that depict / and or otherwise sexualize children or show questionable content.

These threads and its content can be but are are not limited to 'Too Young For Those Tits (TYFTT), Too Young For That Ass (TYFTA), Pre-Teen & Teen (JB), Young Girls, Cute Little Girls, Young Candid, and this also includes such threads 'Bad Parenting, Creep shot, You Love You Loose, Guess Her Age, Nudism' as these can often be places where such violations are performed with pictures of underage girls and boys being posted.

We must also mention that threads/images that sexualize underage girls that are drawn, sketched, animated or crafted, (Known as Lolicon) are just as bad as the real thing and is also in violation of rules of not just 4chan but the Adam Walsh Act and the laws of the United States Of America (18+ Required Law) and Human Rights Act.

We in Legion thank the Janitors & Moderators of 4chan who listen to our reports and work with us along with the interception and help from the FBI, LEA, Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (CEOP), New York Police Department, Google & Microsoft in working together to help stop child exploitation and abuse.
Remember, we must protect the children as they are our future - the future of Legion!

Never stop fighting the vile scum of this Earth such as pedophiles and child molestors!
>>
>>596047642
I highly doubt that, I've heard it before and I reckon it's a myth. Have you not seen chimps go at it?
>>
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>>596052141
>>
Has anyone here actually had sex with a dolphin?
>Dolphins secrete a substance that allows you to endlessly ejaculate as long as your dick remains in the vagina
Feels like we are completely missing the most important part of this thread.
>>
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>>596052253
>>
>>596052160
hi EFG how are you
longtime we not see you
can you tell us a story?
>>
>>596038032
Dolphins can also drown you just to have sex. They only care about fucking, not you. Dolphins will still only use you for sex and fuck around with other dolphins.

"Dolphins do not demand superior rights to men"

There's still the animal rights people and laws that protect animals to a point that you could end up in jail, whether they're reasonable or not.
>>
Could you fuck a whale?
>>
>>596052873
Highly unlikely
>>
wtf is this thread

wtf
>>
>>596053278
dolphins, superior vaginas
>>
>>596053278
The result of men who think all women out there are feminist
>>
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>>
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>>596053471
>>
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>>596053529
>>
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>>596053581
>>
>>596053471
>>596053529
>>596053581
>>596053651
Get your weeb shit outta here.

I wanna see real dolphin secks
>>
>>596053529
>>596053581
>>596053651
boner why?
>>
I wonder what percentage of people that visit this site consistently for, say a year, develop new fetishes...
>>
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>>
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>>596042201

underrated post. you are the man.
>>
>>596041595
Good god
>>
>>596038471
Ah, it was years ago I read that particular copy pasta.
>>
>>596053763
Because you would try to fuck a dolphin,or get fucked by it.
>>
>>596042269
Punching my clown to this in total shame
>>
>>596053651
>>
>>596054268
>>
>>596052474
I wanna see someone's dick in this
>>
>>596038471
>4chan will never be this good again
>never forget the good ol days after 9/11
>>
https://cs.sankakucomplex.com/data/ae/cc/aecc4e2c0de755e901685fc5e21a53f6.gif
(too large)
>>
>>596054318
>>596054684
>>
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>>596038471
>>
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>>596038032
>mfw we should just be more like dolphins
>mfw don't really have a face for that so have this one
>>
>>596054880
>>
>>596038032
>Dolphins are capable of manipulating their vaginal muscles in order to provide maximum pleasure. Women cannot

>kek'd
Op doesn't even know that women Can tighten and relax their snatch's just like we can control our peners like cutting off piss. In reality women can make you cum pretty damn fast by doing this.

>virgin confirmed
>>
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>>596055399
dubs
>>
I wanna show you new chan for adult. Teens, Ameteur, Milf. Non moderate. Come and share!!!

qr,net/Qgie
>>
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>>596038032
>>
>>596055881
god my ex could do something like this
blow my load in her and her cunt would pulse and squeeze all of it out
>>
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>>596051317
Thread replies: 301
Thread images: 82
Thread DB ID: 35992



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