Femanons, what was it like when you discovered masturbation?

ITT NO REPLYS

>>595583745
you really think there are bitchen on /b/
haha

>>595584010
/b/ is about 30% female actually.
This is basically tumblr 2.0

>>595583745
>> be me
>> be 18 years old
>> be alone at home
>> go to 4 chan
>> pretend im a female like all the other neckbeards
>> still believe that there would be any human looking females on 4chan
>> tell op that he should stop acting like a virgin because here are no females

>>595584211
faggots acting like girls are not females.

the only creatues with a vagina here are probably obese or so fucking ugly that 4chan is the only place where they can get a little attention. but they dont count as female.

>when i was 11
>put finger in vagina
>pulled out hen put back in
>felt weird kept doing it everyday all day
>mom asked me what iw as doing and said i dont know
>she saod dont do that in public
>okay.jpeg
>still do when ever i can but like 4 fingers now

>>595584641
neckbeard confirmed

File: 1279640a1c04f10389b6dd1_d0d0_4f8a_a.gif (840KB, 298x234px) Image search: [Google]

840KB, 298x234px

>>595583745
>RANDOM-STORY-HERE
>Everybody walked the dinosaur

Just faggots and traps in here

>>595584740
>>595584629
samefag comfired

File: 1422548546993.jpg (10KB, 417x524px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 417x524px

>>595584924
>samefag comfired

>>595585564
this we're two different people
and /b/ is about 30% female like it or not.
everybody yelling MODS and shit are female

File: 1920s-hair.jpg (178KB, 500x748px) Image search: [Google]

178KB, 500x748px

>>595585564

>>595584757
jebłem

>>595583745
>be me
>in 6th grade
>in bed, about to sleep
>start touching dick, feelsgood.jpg
>jizz after a minute, freaked me out at first because of the intense hot sensation of it coming out.
>fucking love it in retrospect
>spend all next day fapping to YouTube videos that I had previously discovered that got me aroused.

Good times

>>595583745
> Impl0xing there are Grills on 4chins

>>595585736
being a cunt doesn't mean you have one

also, I don't believe more than 10% of people on /b are females

captcha: narrative anaconda

>>595583745
>be 12
>mum got me a book on puberty, sex, etc.
>had page on masturbation
>cool. read pages on wikihow and yahoo answers on what to do
>couldn't really get the hang of it, never enjoyed it
>try out back massager (over panties bc i'm not that scruffy)
>hell ye
>18 now and masturbate a few times a week

>>595586556
TIts or GTFO

Been doing it as long as I can remember. I didn't know what it was until I was probably 8 years old or so. I would grind against furniture. Specifically, I remember being probably 5 years old and I was under my dining room table sitting sort of indian style and grinding on my heel. I think that is the actual earliest I remember. But I would do it all the time by sitting on the back edge of my chair at school all through elementary school.

Just thought of an even weirder memory. Again probably 5 or even younger. I literally masturbated to a picture of some dude (fully clothed, totally normal pic) that was on some junk mail my parents got. They somehow found out. I think it was because I took the mail out of the trash and had it in my room and when they asked, not knowing any better, I explained why I had it. My mom sat me down and talked about it but I don't remember any details of the conversation. Fucking horrifying knowing that she knows her daughter was masturbating that young. ;(

>>595586949

You're are being have dick small.

>>595586974

Did you climax back then?

>>595586974
I kind of had the same experience from a male perspective. Random shit would get my dick hard and I had no idea what it meant. Like, I'd sit there in my bed at night with a raging erection and all I knew was that the totally blacked out sex scene in Top Gun made me feel funny in a good way. I'd go out of my way to find more stuff that made me feel the same but I had no clue why it happened.

I guess it's not really uncommon for guys to do that stuff, but it's funny to hear about a girl doing the same.

>>595587713

I think so. It wasn't as good as it is now I don't think, but I'm pretty sure I did still.

>>595588174
show titties

>>595587916

Yeah when I got older it freaked me the fuck out like I thought I was fucked up. Recently there have been a couple parents calling in on Dan Savage's podcast saying their kids are doing the same so I don't feel bad about it now. Still have no idea how I "discovered" it though.

>>595588295

You're are being have dick small.

>>595586949
That's not how it works, retard.

Like an itch. I didnt even get wet or climax. I had no idea what I was doing. Days after it would still be red and itch. In the same week I got my period. I thought I made myself bleed by touching myself. Thats what you
get when parents dont discuss anything sexual or about what a period is.

>>595586949
>>595586949
that's not how it works dumb ass

>>595588703
thats how it always works

Newchan:
Dope-chan.in

>>595588365
Honest to God, when I had my first orgasm, I thought I was the first person in human history to do so. There was this weird thing my body would do and then one day something extra special happens and I feel like I need to call the Smithsonian and let them know. I'd been through sex ed and all that but my retarded-ass brain never made the connection between that and what I was doing.

I guess it's just one of those things that everyone figures out sooner or later. Pretty much inevitable, others just figure it out more quickly.

File: 10599669_754218567949298_982829947083461751_n.jpg (50KB, 612x407px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 612x407px

>>595588989
you must be new. welcome to /b/

>>595588703

>not knowing rules of internet

That's exactly how it works, fuckin newfag

>>595589308
can't believe you fell for my bait lmfao

>>595589436
epic memeing friend :^)

File: 1406607771348.jpg (133KB, 800x571px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 800x571px

>>595589308
buzz word. new fag is obvious

>>595589436
as if ...

File: 1336954803207.jpg (46KB, 776x602px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 776x602px

>>595589436

File: 1391397747064.jpg (41KB, 493x575px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 493x575px

>>595589436
ok

File: 1404772365053.jpg (35KB, 700x394px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 700x394px

>>595589253
Why are you being a fucking retard
Inb4
>>Hurt epic troll lel lel lel

>>595590096
sooce?

>stupid jerk
>meet hot chick
>punch her in the neck

>>595585564
>595585564
Cum fired

File: 1414911585398.jpg (19KB, 299x399px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 299x399px

>>595590241
you really don't know how tits or gtfo works do you? wow

>>595590989
Not really. Admittedly, I was trying to get someone to explain it to me and this was the only way I knew how.

>>595590826
>>595590096
>>595589868
>>595589698
>>595589707
>>595589436
>>595589308
>>595589253
>>595590241
Cut this shit out.

File: 6a00d834515ae969e2017c35817072970b-500wi.jpg (22KB, 500x259px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 500x259px

>>595591184
ok sory

>>595591184
Me, too. Sorry, anon.

File: 1421380944555.jpg (31KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 800x600px

>>595591184

>>595590241
>Tits of GTFO has a technical use on this board.
>You don't know what it is
>You are new
>Lurk moar

File: 9ThfjKP.gif (1MB, 357x200px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 357x200px

>>595591184
What are you, a fucking mod? You gonna ban me?

>>595583904
ITT NO GRAMMAR

>>595588985
>>595588703


that's actually exactly how it works. Fuck off you god damn cancerfags.

>>595583745
>Can I get some greentext stories?

I've got cringeworthy stories of me exploring my sexuality as a teenager if that's up your alley

you've probably seen them before though

>>595583745
My girlfriend says she only rubs her clit and that she doesn't like self insertion.

>>595591689
Tits of GTFO was created to counter camwhores and sympathywhores. Using it to shut down a greentext story related to the purpose of the thread is a wrong use.

File: 1393074714202.jpg (47KB, 403x403px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 403x403px

>>595591689
another buzzword an oldie by internet standards

>>595592009
If you're a dude or fat/ugly, no thanks. If not, go for it.

>>595591604
pwnd

File: 7edb8c16e918f7be10308c4bd23f286c7049f63a3d439910e9d4328e7d3922f4.jpg (17KB, 180x250px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 180x250px

>>595592142
and there we go

>>595592325
Stop me if you've seen them before

>Be 12
>Don't really understand masturbation
>Watching Sailor Moon
>Older bro is cookin' in kitchen
>Tuxedo Mask
>this makesmemoist.jpeg
>Sit on hand
>Grind
>Don't understand why, just keep doing it
>Bro comes in
>I freeze
>"Hey anon, whaddya want with this chicken"
>"uh idk broccoli i guess"
>"Okay"
>He leaves
>I go back to Tuxedo Mask and grinding

looking back...wow, i was an idiot.

>>595584757
nieźle

>>595592535
This is pretty soon after my brother leaves

>Go to bathroom
>Underwear is moist
>aw shit should have gone sooner gotta stop being distracted
>pee, take off wet panties, drop in laundry go back downstairs commando because i'm a fucking genius
>Straight back to grinding
>Don't stop for the whole rest of the show, not even paying attention, thinkin' the Tuxedo Mask thoughts
>Full on rubbing along the length of my fingers
>Confused why fingers are wet
>fuck it will deal later
>Brother comes in again
>Freeze again
>"hey anon come help me dish up"
>"uhh do i have to"
>"i fuckin cooked this shit if you arent gonna help then you can have like two forkfuls see if i care"
>I go to kitchen
>Usual routine: I get the cutlery/plates out and tell him how much I want, he serves
>Nothing unusual happens
>He picks up his knife and fork and goes into living room
>"hey anon why are these wet"

ffffffffffff i cringe every time i think back on it

>>595592535
You jacked it to Tuxedo Mask? That's fucking old school nerd girl.

>>595590541
Hachikuji from -monogatari

>>595592723
Domino masks just really do it for me, brah

>>595592579

>Be 13
>Some shitty school play
>am in orchestra, will be playing for the play so I don't have to act, still have to sit there during rehearsals
>Dress rehearsal
>Girls in silly dresses
>Guys in silly costumes
>This one guy in a mask
>A fucking mask
>Love the idea of some stranger in a mask just taking me
>moisteningbegins.jpeg
>yeah okay I had a bit of an obsession
>Back of the hall
>Hand between crossed legs
>Rubbing wrist against pussy
>Barely conscious I'm doing it
>Watch this guy
>He's saying his lines all smooth like
>Hall is pretty quiet
>Mask guy looks straight at me
>I let out this tiny fucking moan
>A fucking moan what the fuck
>Teacher turns round
>"anon are you okay"
>"u-um..."
>just kinda shrug and look away

I swear the guy knew when he looked at me. I was so creepy.

>>595592579
Did you give your brother the V? Come on, this is a great wincest story in the making.

File: 1410219380457.jpg (8KB, 200x199px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 200x199px

>>595591184
please lick my asshole from the top of my crack to the bottom of my scrote

File: 1310671996285.jpg (10KB, 297x275px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 297x275px

>be me
>like 6th grade
>boys at school tease girls for "fingering themselves" or masturbating with the showerhead
>like it's an insult
>wat
>I stay home alone one weekend day
>thinking about what they said
>go into shower
>grab the removable showerhead
>spray it on m'vag on the pulse setting
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>gets super intense feeling
>feel like I might die or puke or piss myself
>keep going anyway
>massive orgasm
>what the fuck just happened to me
>do it three more times that day
>parents start asking why I take so many showers every day
>mfw

File: 1412021953891.jpg (726KB, 2736x2052px) Image search: [Google]

726KB, 2736x2052px

>>595592579
i knew what you were doing Barry i knew all along

>>595592947
Nope, nothing else happened with my brother.

File: 1419398704734.gif (2MB, 322x322px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 322x322px

>>595586227
Holy fuck are you me? Well, besides the hot sensation thing.

>>595592035
What a weak ass bitch!

>>595586227
>6th grade
>Youtube

im getting too old for this shit

>>595592927
You were. That would be fucking creepy.

BUT ALSO hilarious.

Good stories.

>>595583745
>Femanons, what was it like when you discovered masturbation?
it was when I was riding like a jet ski thing when I was 13, from there I had to rub myself constantly, ended up breaking my hymen before my first Per and freaked out because it hurt and was bloody but then was soooo good, ended up fingering myself with a bit of blood and did not care, i was on iron pills so my room smelled like rust

>>595593669
Got more if you want 'em. Loads more. Been posting these for fucking ages now.

>>595593064
Is that when you shit your pants?

File: 1393340351512.jpg (2KB, 125x96px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 125x96px

>>595592535

tits or it didn't happen

>>595584445
This guy deserves a medal

File: shrek.jpg (37KB, 598x598px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 598x598px

>>595593502
>im getting too old for this shit

I know right? There are actually people om the internet that wasn't even alive doing the joyous day of 9/11.

>>595594326
I was at work trucking during 9/11 and heard it on am radio. I'm only 25. Don't ask.

File: 1353844681623.jpg (21KB, 429x410px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 429x410px

>>595594326
>yfw we are the last of a generation of people that can remember before it happened
>the happen is the great connecting that is widespread internet use
We are the last of the Mohicans

>>595592535
>>595592579
>>595592927
Femanon I like your spirit

But how many femanons have fingered their butthole to orgasm?

>>595594638
What happens when the last person who actually knows how to do shit dies?

>>595594835
>tfw no prostate

>>595592535
old pasta is old.
unless youre a grill that i remember a few months ago telling a similar story.

>>595595082
The clit is just a small part of all the inner workings

>>595595082
prostate orgasms are a myth to get try to convert straight guys gay.

>>595586974
>I would grind against furniture.

Yep, me too. The arm of the couch was my favorite.

> Did you climax back then?

In my younger years, it would just feel really intense for a few minutes and then gradually fade away. Then I think at about age 10 I noticed I was getting a little muscle twitch down there right at the most intense point, which I thought was extremely weird. Over then next year or so the twitch got more and more powerful, then I started getting 2 or 3 twitches each time, and it eventually they became full-blown contractions. Those twiches/contractions just kept feeling better and better each time -- I was probably about 12 when they finally hit full strength.

>>595595420
the clit is made from the same erectile tissue that develops into the love bone.

Fun fact, you also have erectile tissue in your nose.

>>595592841
Is there a season one to that? The first page of google all have ep 1 season 2

>>595595777
>those trips

>>595595455
Not really. I stuck the handle of a screwdriver wrapped in saran wrap with a little lube up my ass, and then jerked off.
I have never cum so hard before.

>>595595880
>Fun fact, you also have erectile tissue in your nose.
how do I nosegasm?

>>595595880
I don't give a fuck about dicks, prostates, fags, traps or any of that shit! I wanna read about vagina rubbing self love sluts!

>>595594600
you know what i am going to ask wtf you were working shouldn't you be in middle school or something

>>595584010
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>595596216
He must be foreign

>be 9 or 10
>playing with 13ish year old boy next door
>gets mad at me one day for losing a game and pantsed me
>dont even care and laugh at him
>he starts doing it more often to me when he realizes i dont care
>this somehow leads to us playing doctor
>always the patient and its always my pussy that needs to be examined
>start touching myself at night the way he does
>also learned about queefing from him sticking a nerf balloon pump up me and pumping it

>>595596216
home schooled and dad made me drive the water truck on jobs
suprisingly enough I made $1,500 a week cash and had a new pickup when I turned 16 that I earned myself. Too bad now I am transgender and about to start taking dicks for cash.

>>595596449
post a pic? you can leave your face out. very curious.

>mfw used to masturbate everyday like a true red blooded teen
>mfw family vacation, have to share a bed

When will this torment end.

>>595596092
Dude I get a little tingle whenever I sneeze.

Its partly vestigial but during the activation response it widens the nose and helps you breath in more o2.

Also why in malaysian shadow-puppet plays when people get really horny they get nose bleeds.

File: 1421180496760.gif (2MB, 400x292px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 400x292px

>>595588657
>You're are being dick small
>You are are being dick small
>You are are
>Being dick small

File: 1395689431746.jpg (54KB, 427x500px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 427x500px

>>595596561
lol cool story bro

>>595596801
Tried this. Unbelievably, it worked. Like, just in the top pic, they were amazing.

File: 1412217520978.jpg (34KB, 500x623px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 500x623px

>>595596787

File: 1303090764090.jpg (14KB, 329x329px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 329x329px

>>595586356
I don't believe even 1% are female. /b/ is a sausage fest.

>>595596449
>also learned about queefing from him sticking a nerf balloon pump up me and pumping it

Yes, Ms. Femanon... this is strange, we were looking at the X-rays and realized your ovaries appear to have exploded some time in your early teens.

File: MUwNxhQ.gif (860KB, 389x259px) Image search: [Google]

860KB, 389x259px

>>595596449
>>also learned about queefing from him sticking a nerf balloon pump up me and pumping it

>>595597029
you know some one will try that eventually

>>595597070
I actually met some girl in some thread here over 1 year ago and am skyping with her right as we speak. She's a bit crazy though, and underage (17 now, was 16 when I met her)

>>595597426
*cough*bullshit*cough*

File: well shit.png (12KB, 560x407px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 560x407px

>>595597302
>Darwin wins again

>>595595364
Yeah it's old. First wrote it in March last year.

File: copypasta.jpg (15KB, 194x260px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 194x260px

>>595597426

my current gf started bating when she was in 2nd grade. she said she started by rubbing against a pillow and not knowing why it felt good but just continued to do it. but now she's super horny all the time so it's pretty great lol

>>595597808
my sister was a pillow humper

>>595589436
wow u sure got him by pretending to be retarded

>>595596801
mustard gas

>>595597920
Until your dad raped her?

>>595584641
Not how girls mastrubate, m8

>>595597302
if i remember correctly there was this huge post that got capped a while ago about some retard who did that and was in the hospital for a couple of weeks. What a dumbass

>>595593064

>pulse setting
What even is this? I keep hearing about this. Is this something only rich people have?
Also, does this even serve any other function other than masturbating?

File: gvpmEzI.jpg (25KB, 456x463px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 456x463px

>>595584445
indeed.

>>595598164
what the flying fuck are you talking about
i have recorded my sister masturbate before, fingering then vibrator with clit.

>>595598296
It is a shower head that is the same as a regular shower head. It is a bit fancier in that it has different stream options as well as being detachable so you can get it down there. The pulsing option is the feel good one, at least for me.

>>595592927
hot

>Femanon here
>Grew up in super religious household
>Was warned about masturbation long before I knew what it was
>Used to feel really guilty when I got excited
>Kissed this boy in my church
>Wanted to take it farther way faster
>Parents got a call from our Pasture
>Longest and worst 2 hour lecture of my life
>To this day I fucking hate that guy

>>595583745
A baby comes out of there

>5 years old
>has plastic bead necklace from dress-up kit
>used to put the beads in my vagina and then pull it out
>thought it was a fun game
>a fun game that felt hella good

>>595598638
Fingers probably smell like rotting fish, sweat and piss!

>>595598544
want more?

File: image.jpg (883KB, 2448x2448px) Image search: [Google]

883KB, 2448x2448px

>>595598844

> be me
> 12 year old asian fag
> Growing up everyone only had one child,
> Its crazy, close friends are "cousins" there are no real cousins where i am from
> I think thats all people are really allowed to have is one child
> Mom buys me a pair of flannel boxers
> I wear them to bed one night, always wore tightie whities
> i get an erection and start rubbing my dick on the inside of the boxers
> feelsgoodman.jpg
> Then it happens,
> I start crying uncontrollably, I think no one will ever be my girlfriend. My life is ruined
> mom finds me 20 mins later
> I explain what happened, and that Dad is going to hate me when no one will marry me because I cant have a baby now
> mfw she told me it was ok I didnt just waste my one chance to have a kid
> mfw she told my dad and he laughed - I can count on my fingers the number of times I have seen him laugh
> mfw I realized not only my life was not ruined but I could do this multiple times a day

>>595599000
Holy

>>595596041
Really?? A screwdriver? You probably have tetanus hemmriods for life

File: Wut_is_this_.jpg (34KB, 600x451px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 600x451px

>>595587389
>You're are being have dick small.

>>595589160
>I'd been through sex ed and all that but my retarded-ass brain never made the connection between that and what I was doing.

I know. I had sex ed, but it was incomplete. For a long time I had no idea what my clitoris was or that other girls had one. I just thought it was a mole or something. Then I started hearing about how amazingly awesome a guy's penis felt when he played with it. (They didn't cover that in sex ed either.) That sounded just like what I was experiencing, so then it occurred to me OMFG what if this mole thing I had was the beginning of a penis growing out. Fucking freaked me out.

>>595598981
go for it I've got a decent chub.

>be me toddler grinding on shit
>fast forward 8 years started fagging off while listening to love line because it was late night sexual content
>12 yo computer moves into my room. all downhill from there.
>masturbate 1/2/3/4 tines a day since.
>grew up in a normal family in a normal part of the world no shame, always knew what masturbation was.

>>595599275
Penis clit! You go boy!

>>595599047
Literally what part about "femanon" don't you get?

File: 1419829978957.gif (2MB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 200x200px

>be me, 12 years old
>average white girl
>see a white man getting beaten by a bunch of niggers on the street
>my no no spot feels tingly
>drop my pants
>mfw i have a penis
>triggered

>>595594864
mexicans and other sub-humans will always around to provide ways for trans-genders youtubers to be able to keep touching the world with their supreme form of art

File: 1419181032022.gif (407KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

407KB, 250x250px

>>595599047
>mfw redditfags say mfw and don't post a picture

>>595598671
more like in your ass, because u r fgt :^)

>>595600118
I pretend it's "MotherFingWin" At that point.

>be me
>be 16
>really horny
>found toy bumble ball that vibrates
>hmm
>kept pulling chord on my clit
>holyshitholyshit
>came with the force of a thousand suns
>masturbated every other day, sometimes twice a day

And I literally just masturbated while my boyfriend was doing work on his computer and he has no idea

File: 1391899303285.jpg (575KB, 4688x4688px) Image search: [Google]

575KB, 4688x4688px

>>595600118

>>595598594
Was it because of horses?

>>595583745
holly shit i would do anything for a pussy like that

>>595600305
I want to believe you but that seems pretty made up. Could you post a pic of him working on his computer, just if you don't want to post anything yours. I just want to believe that an actual femanon posted something in this thread.

>>595598594
>from our pasture
>pasture

moooooooooo

>>595600305
underage b&
MODS

>>595600659
shhh, this one's fine

>>595583745
moar

>Be 13
>Playing around on playground in elementary school
>Slide down pole
>Feels good
>Slide down it more
>Feels good still
>Me and pole get very friendly the next few months
>Experiment with rubbing it because I want it to feel good when not in school

>Be me
>10 maybe 11 years old
>Some neckbeard faggot posts 10 second really badly animated gif of two characters from one of my favorite game characrers at the time going at it.
>Gif Consisted of like 5 seconds of robotic nasty looking coitus and 5 of just cum dripping out of zeldas pussy.
>Thought it was hot as shit
>11 year old cunt starts to get swollen as fuck and warm
>Start to touch it to relieve pressure
>Feels good as fuck
>Keep rubbing for like 5 minutes
>Feel like Im gonna pee but don't wanna stop rubbing clit
>Pee as I'm cumming, bed is soaked as fuck.
>Tell mom I was napping and peed the bed.
>Fap 1-5 times a day since.

>be me
>like to masturbate but never finished to completion
>be in fucking high school, like senior year
> finally fucking figure out that you have to put in work all the way to the end to fucking cum
>female friend and I were talking about masturbation
>neither of us will admit to doing it.
>she tells me to try it
>put movie on with Meagan Good
>scene is like 30 seconds long so I have to REW like 451565156561561 times.
>20 mins later finally fucking cum
>addicted
>jerk off everyday now
>surprisingly I'm not a virginfag.

File: tumblr_kumhv58df51qz5d8go1_500.gif (106KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

106KB, 500x281px

>>595597031
i cant stop laughing my sides omg...MONICA!

File: Series of tubes.gif (773KB, 260x221px) Image search: [Google]

773KB, 260x221px

>>595600118
This is perfect. I like this post a lot.

>>595600930
>13
>Elementary School
Did you get held back?

>>595601091
You pooped

>>595601516
Shit nigga how did you know

>>595600224
lol

>>595601372
I may have screwed up the age, but I know it was my last year at that school and elementary school in general. The next year was middle school, but I was in middle school but had apparently missed the entire first year of middle school. So, apparently I had another year of elementary that was supposed to be middle school because of how the school system worked.

File: IMG_20150130_232317154_HDR.jpg (1MB, 1368x2430px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1368x2430px

>>595600576

Here's the bastard

>>595602099
MUST BE FAKE

>be 11
>get n64 with games and rumble pack for christmas
>resting arm and controller on lap one day and rumble pack vibrates
>enjoy rumble pack more than the games or system itself

File: aclassic.jpg (41KB, 562x437px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 562x437px

>>595602099
This makes me so happy.

>>595602099
That's some runny salsa...

>>595602099
Take a shit behind his chair!

>>595602099
Wut r u wizarding dub wizard?

>>595593502
Dont be retarded, if they were on youtube when it first came out they would be 21.

File: pochacco_doll.jpg (6KB, 169x225px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 169x225px

>>595583745
>9 years old
>laying stomach down on the ground
>playfully crawl with my body / pelvic area upwards
>intense pressure on my pelvic gave me an odd feeling
>losing my breath / addicted
>basically put pressure on my pelvic area against the CARPET going upwards, so i looked funny (almost like a seal) when i was doing it
>grandma would be like wtf stop that wtf are u doing
>eventually mastered looking less like a seal, like i was laying down going REALLY slow upwards on the carpet with my pelvic
>still gets me turned on from time to time

another time
i remember playfully putting my pochacco doll against my skin. liked it. i dont remember when it started but i started masturbating with it (still do from time to time) i LOVE the texture and rubbing the part of the nose against my clitoris.

>image very related


>learning about masturbation
discovered porn when i was 11 (hentai pop ups thru anime websites) and started to relate sexual experiences to masturbation

to this day, i can masturbate without sexual thoughts, but it usually helps

>>595602579
>implying

>>595602099
How does a faggot like this have a girlfriend and I don't?

Was maybe 7. Had an in ground pool. Jets. Parents that didnt pay any attention. You figure it out.

shit, I really shouldn't have been swimming alone back then.

>>595599438
Is love line even on the radio anymore. (Dr.Drew)

I remember listening to that shit late at night at 11 and 12.

Felt like I was undercover or some shit.

>>595584641
>>595586556
>>595586974
>>595588736
>>595592535
>>595593064
>>595593762
For the love of authenticity, give us timestamps. This thread would be 1000x better.
>>595603065
You included.

File: IMG_0314.jpg (49KB, 300x379px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 300x379px

>>595602909

Because he's my faggot

File: Laserspider1.jpg (27KB, 293x356px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 293x356px

>>595603152
Ur 10th lvl wizard then?

I refuse to believe they're this many girls on /b/.

>>595595777
Devine trips confirm grill

>>595603384

Yes

>>595603405
Why?

Unattractive fatties don't have any friends and/or social skills, so what else do they have to do on a Friday night?

>>595603143
seconded

>>595603698
masturbate

>>595603143
Yay, you didn't include my post so I don't have to timetits right?

> be me
>10
> read about masturbation on BDSM sight
> decide try it
> start watching porn/rubbing clit
>ohmygod.jpeg
> decide to finger myself
>4'11
> arms too short, can't do it
>fuckme
> didn't try again for five years
>17 now
> masturbating on the daily
>5 feet tall
> still can't finger my pussy
> has lots of sex to make up for it
>anon is hoe

>>595604007
with that reply you just proved you are a girl. timestamp if you really want to.

>>595604007
You don't have to but if you don't James bond will come and murder you in your sleep.

>>595583745
I'm not a femanom but I have a story.

>insomniac teenager as fuck
>one night starving
>room in basement, have to walk past everyone
>master of stealth from a year of doing it
>walk past sister's room
>something loud is in there wtf can't place the sound
>open door
>she's sleeping face up
>with our pic related massager on her groin
>sounds like high intensity, shit was my favorite
>close door
>get some tortilla chips and melt some cheese and go back to playing counterstrike and StarCraft
>don't use that massager again

>>595584629
Just like the men, then?

>>595585736
That's actually a good theory

File: image.png (293KB, 720x774px) Image search: [Google]

293KB, 720x774px

>>595604392
Fucking hell

>>595604556
Not really, there are girls that are into the same sick shit that guys are into. Hell, I had a guy earlier that thought I was a cop trying to bust him or something and sent me a list of videos on motherless that he wanted removed, such as the oregon girl that got caught. I myself am into stuff you would probably see on facial abuse.

>>595604786
You should have licked it

>>595593200
duhbez

>>595604040
Bitch you got T-Rex arms?

>>595605234
Fat bitch named Juanita!

>>595583745

>young, not sure what age.
>friends with girl and boy next door
>go over to play
>don't remember exactly how this happened but we were being "rude" and giving quick flashes
>girl and boy ask older sister to build us a "club house"
>older sister puts some wood and board up against a wall
>older sister leaves and we hang out in the cubby and flash our bits
>after a while girl leaves, so its just me and boy
>we keep showing each other
>after a good look, he gets really close and licks my flaps
>never felt anything like that before
>he says i should lick his and then he will lick mine
>take turns doing it
>it felt so good that i kept doing it even though i was grossed out his dick touching my mouth
>i remember i would put my lips around his dick, barely touching it and quickly move away
>but he would give me a good 10 second lick out
>I kept doing it so he would lick me again
>when we stopped, i went home and watched dr who with my parents like nothing happened.

I started masturbating from that point on to recreate that feeling. looking back on it, the boy knew way to much about oral sex so now i wonder what went on in that house.

We saw each other in a shop when we were older and we talked like nothing happened.

>>595602099
Da gloves!

>>595587389
>You're are being have dick small.

>>595605234
Tbh yes. I'm a fucking midget with small arms and hands but at least it makes dicks seem bigger

>>595604892
That's grody dude but then again I'm the normalfag cancer killing the board.

Have another story.

>years later
>live in apartment with GF
>extra room
>same sister now gay has GF too
>dad doesn't have space for her
>idea
>'you can live with me sis'
>she accepts
>fuck my GF one night
>suddenly a bit awkward because the walls are thin and I trained her to moan and yell my name because I like that
>finish anyways
>about to sleep sex was good no CIG needed
>suddenly
>loud moaning from not our neighbors
>recognize my sister's name being said
>look at GF
>she looks back
>goes on for about an hour with lots of panting and yelling
>next day ask sister if she needs us to peace and shit when she gets down
>somehow devolves to us talking in detail about our sex lives
>both are dominant kinky fucks
She's a sis its great

>>595602099
Why the keyboard gloves, why?

>>595606217
What's wrong with you? You had a chance for three chicks at once! And the fact that one was your sister would have made it even hotter.

>>595602099
He is the most hipster bastard I have seen in a while. I don't know if that's better or worse than my Edgelord boyfriend.

>>595596449
>>also learned about queefing from him sticking a nerf balloon pump up me and pumping it

File: confused_shrugging_ma_450.jpg (31KB, 450x300px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 450x300px

>>595606573
>>595606750

I don't tell him what to wear, he does as he pleases, I love him regardless

>>595606573
I mean if he has to wear gloves (Who knows, he might have scabies or something infectious.) He should be wearing the most awesome gloves ever.
Maybe some studs and spikes would make it look less fagmo.

>>595596449
d-d-dobson?

>>595607031
I tell my boyfriend to cut his damn hair and try to have emotions. He looks sexy as hell with short hair, but he just has to have it longer. At some point it was probably longer than mine.

>>595606143
You must either be fat, have the T Rex arms, or not flexible at all. I had 4'11 gf in hs. She could reach.
You could be her cousin though. She had a short ass cousin (maybe it was megan?) with the T Rex arms. She had some medical thing where her arms literally weren't the right length.

>>595598671
>hella

Someone is from norcal? What's your area code.

>>595607204

He has a mohawk. He's just wearing his hat because it's cold in the dorm, and it looks longer in the back

>>595607366
actually socal, i started saying it ironically but now i can't stop. 661

>>595606662
I do that a lot

>high school
>have nerdtastic best bro
>has a qt younger sister who took French class with me for 3 years
>one day joking but not joke and say 'bro lemme take ya sis to prom'
>his face is like five different emotions at once
>'haha the look on your face dude relax just playing'
>relief washes over him
>years later
>she goes to France
>cuts my name and hers into some wooden table at a park or some shit
>already with GF I love tho
>still sometimes wonder what it'd be like if I'd done that instead

Since that one wasn't about my sister I'll drop another story about my other sister

I'm not exactly sure how I got to masturbating, but the earliest I remember was just massaging my clit but I never came until I put mechanical toothbrushes in use. I didn't use fingers til early 8th grade and started with one, two, and then a fat sharpie. Never really came from just pent ration until actual sex, but my clit is extremely sensitive. Not really a story but whatever.

File: 1417368757667s.jpg (3KB, 125x119px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 125x119px

>>595607184
>studs and spikes
>less gay

>>595592579
yvette?

>>595602099
Looks like MetroGnome.

Anyone else agree?

Fucked up thing is even if a hot girl did post anonymous nudes (no time stamp) we wont believe it haha

>>595607687
Did you sharpie your pooper though?

>>595593064
*sigh* wish I had one if those growing up.

>>595608173
Multiple times but with those Crayola Markers

>>595607592
Oh yeah, the reason I knew the name bit was because she snapchatted it to me, didn't know she was handy with a knife

OK here we go

>second sister
>younger than me older than other sister mentioned
>she comes over from out of state
>playing titanfall after a dinner I invited the family to
>she's hanging cuz she's sleeping on couch
>she's also lesbian and is discovering herself in a small college town
>starts talking about sex baby
>works at a bar
>gets one night stands every week and drinks until she pukes and then drinks more on the weekends
>starts talking about a straight chick with huge tits
>chick accidentally barfed on both their shirts
>they go to clean up in bathroom
>sister jokingly spanks girls butt
>suddenly affectionate drunk rubbing
>Listerine first though sister is classy
>start with making out and then fingering before discreetly escaping to the hosts room
>lots of graphic detail to other sister, GF, and sisters GF
>and also to four of my IRL bros over Xbox live chat
>they're quiet til she finishes and goes to get a drink
>'So, anyone want to play last titan standing now?'

>>595602099
you can't be serious

saw porn, then hairbrush

i got my first orgasm from humping a cat
i don't even remember how long it was before i started using my hands

File: bastard.png (87KB, 198x204px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 198x204px

>>595607487
Actually, I think mine is better...

>>595586227
This girl has a PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!

>>595608818
have your friends ever let you forget it?
I know I wouldnt

>>595584757
Duzy kek

>>595609008
>filename
>lel

Yeah probably but I'm still happy with my faggot

>>595593502
fuck this is terrible

>>595586974
>grinding on my heel.
Why do girls masturbate with their feet? It's disgusting and unsanitary.

>>595609670
Pretty much just because they're stupid!

>>595609521
I like mine, he is nice and understand me even though he doesn't buy me shit for any holidays or my birthday. Also forces me to watch him livestream dumb games that he likes to play. And he has a big dick that he refuses to accept.

>>595609837
Yep

>>595609670
Wouldn't it be fine if it's just over their underwear.

>>595609911
You cheat on him all the time slut!

>>595609670
Why do guys lick womens feet and worship them? Foot fetishes are literally the most common fetish, except for the all natural, pure missionary position fetish.

>>595609293
We all have too much shit on each other.

Example
>playing titanfall again
>me and other bro without sis
>he's just married
>can hear 'anon friend pls finish game'
>anon friend says OK one last game
>takes longer than we expect
>suddenly mic makes weird sounds like if someone was wrestling it away-
>'ANON I AM TAKING ANONFRIEND WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX'
>'You have my permission, have fun'
>he signs off immediately probably lost a rank

>>595603109
idk. left quickly after adam carolla did. cried so hard his last episode ;_; RIP in peaces you splooser.

>>595596449
you fucking perverts

>>595610202
What makes you think that? I am really fond of him and only do nudes when I have to. I adore him though and it is kind of fun watching him play games. Plus, I can get games from my friends without even needing sexual favors.

>>595610714
You're a lying cheater! Take a poop on the floor!

File: r30.png (978KB, 828x778px) Image search: [Google]

978KB, 828x778px

>>595583745

/thread

File: image.jpg (329KB, 2048x1536px) Image search: [Google]

329KB, 2048x1536px

Boom

>>595586949
That's not how it works, mother fucker

File: image.jpg (43KB, 960x600px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 960x600px

>>595611416
The fuck?
>mouth ion cannon engage

>>595611626
>what are you doing vagina? You aren't a scabbard.

>>595583745
earliest memory i have is either kindergarten or first grade
I used to rub my clit through my pants because it felt good, I didn't know it was sexual until I got older

>>595611626
I am interested, but damn is that a waste of a perfectly good pussy.

CAPTCHA related: vgyno

>>595587389
>>595588703
>>595611723
>>595588985
All these flavors, and you choose to be Newfags.

>>595586556
TITS OR GTFO

>>595583745
Amazing, mental feeling first few times, but then you get used to it. best thing for us is we can do it as many times as feel like... without a time-out

File: 4df.jpg (8KB, 297x120px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 297x120px

>>595605234
Kek'd a bit here. Kudos anon.
Also check em

>>595599438
>12 year old computer
>Internet access

I want to say underagebait, but then I realized I'm just old.

>>595613478
There was some underage baiting going on, all right

>>595602099
What. The actual. Fuck