What's the most expensive thing /b/s stolen? I've never

>>593718418
I stole the Louvre

4 Lifeproofs and a Mophie case from Best Buy.
Never again

>>593718418
Your little sister's anal virginity.

a kidney

a samsung galaxy s4 active from a car

>>593718418

Xbox one and 44 inch smart TV from target.

Maybe would do again.
I put both on a cart and just walked out with the items.

a greap

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>>593718418
The Declaration of Independence

I stole Carrie Underwoods purse once

Your virginity

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>pic related

>>593718418
3,700 dollars in cash...

>>593719033

I got the story if any one is interested.

>>593719363
Ye

>>593719363
Please post that's alpha as fuck

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a chocolate bar. im a pussy...

>>593719363
Go

Headphones. They were $60 bucks.

I once robbed a small bank in a small town in New York and managed to walk away with $36,000.

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>>593718418
Lego figures

>inb4 12 yr old faggot

I just wanted to see how I feel after I stole something, and I actually didn't feel any guilt. Want to steal some earphones next.

I spent 700 dollars on maplestory with my mom's credit card 10 years ago

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Brand new iPhone 5s sealed in box, traded it for a note 3. A Samsung galaxy tab 7.0 tablet, sony bluetooth speaker ball (back when bluetooth speakers were new), gta5 and battlefield 4 for the ps3, a iPhone 4, a cellular booster kit, tons of micro SD cards and USB sticks... and probably lots more that I don't remember atm.
I may have had a part in radio shack not doing so well lawl

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>>593718418

french's mustard, shit was raw son.

>>593718418
Nice try, FRI.

>>593719503
Same here

>>593718418
sol republic headphones

>>593718418
My GF's heart.
it's worth more than all the money in the world.

I shoplift regularly, but only drinks and stuff.

When I was about 13 I stole a shit ton of Tech Decks from Walgreens, added up to only about $50 total. I sold them to my friends, shit was so cash at 13

>>593719832
>implying that that game was worth spending money on

>>593718418
Car. I couldn't find the Lojack, so I ditched it.

>>593719712

If it's posted on /b/ then it must be true

>>593718418
Kept seeing /g/ talk about them, so I lifted a graph gear 1000 from office max, it was like $20 there

>>593719909
Dammit autocorrect
Fbi*

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>>593718418

>some faggot's guitar, smashed it and put it back
>some faggot's bicycle, cut it into pieces and put it back
>some faggot's homework, caused him to repeat a year

In retrospect I'm comfortable with malicious acts but I haven't ever bothered to steal for money, only for spite and oppression of the weak. Thanks /b/ that was some good introspection.

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>>593718418
Blue partyhat

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> be at dealers house
> huge queer
> he's high watching TV
> go where his safe is
> $20k and 2lbs of dank
> take it discretely while he's outside talking on phone
> put shut in my car
> skrr off in that foreign
How I got 20 grand and weed

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>>593719832
I remember that shit
Nixon America is money hungry as fuck

>>593719033
Bruh. You're so alpha that I'm dropping the baby dick on the p. You're aloha.

probably like a few grand worth of drugs. As an item, most likely a shitty 1988 nissan.

I stole a guitar amp from a music store I worked at once. I just fudged the numbers in the computer, so as far as anyone else knew, we never received it.

>>593718418
A friend of mine and I stole a $1200 canoe when we were teenagers. Just to see if we could. We loaded that fucker on our backs and carried it out like we had already paid for it. took it to the very close by stream and canoed away from the scene.

>>593718418
someones life
>/thread

>>593720299
you're just as guilty as he is faggot, grow up and take some responsibility

>>593718418
escalade

>>593718418
Panties, nice ones

And no

It's a fairly short story

> Be me, I'm 17 at the time (19 now)
> I am in another state with family
> We're visiting other family members for a graduation party (not mine)
> FF after the party, I am in a hotel room because I don't like certain people in my family
> I am thinking of what I could do since I'll likely not come here again
> Hookers? Drugs? Nope
> Drive to nearest Target
> Park a block away and in a blindspot so the lot cams can't see me.
> Walk right the fuck in Target
> Go to electronics section, and they don't even have glass cases for the consoles
> Grab one, put on cart
> Go over and view the TV section, and it's the same
> All have no security tags and aren't in cases
> Pick one up, put on bottom of cart
> Walk out of the store
> Passed a cop on the way out
> He just smiles and nods at me
> I do the same, he doesn't try to stop me at all
> Wondered how badly he got made fun of for not stopping me when he was at the station later?

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>>593720461

>>593718418
A cardboard box with a couple thousand dollars worth of 128gb micro sd cards.

a hand buzzer in third grade, cost 55 cents and the cashier watched me do it. dirty fucking nigger didn't even stop me or tell anyone

>>593720516
Never said I wasn't. I do take responsibility. And I had a shitload of fun... dunno where you're coming from exactly?

stole a bunch of jewelry from an asshole neighbor altogether worth $8000, anybody interested in the story?

>>593720106
kek

>>593718418
A 40 inch tv from the college restaurant, didnt work on anything but hdmi

>>593720299
>canoed away from the scene
fucking KEK

>>593720882
No.
No, no one is interested.

>>593718418
the declaration of independence

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France.

A car

>>593720882
story pls.

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$5k+ in software and media...

I bet everyone here has never pirated and thinks thats pretty badass

>>593719033
Lets hear it. Need to update our security

1991 IROC Z
Stripped it and sold the parts

01011001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 00001010 00001010 01101001 01101110 01100010 00110100 00100000 01100110 01100001 01100111 01100111 01101111 01110100

>>593721274
God damn it I just told him no!
Now I look like a fool!
You just embarassed me online in front of everyone you dick!

>>593720872
read it wrong lololololololo

>>593719872

Underrated post

>>593721333

Kill yourself.

>>593720899
yeah those hospitality TVs kinda suck, but free is free

>>593721293

I've already posted it's a green text,

It's this one >>593720647

Lance Armstrong's testicle

>>593721293
he already posted the story you stupid piece of shit

I bought in on a poker site, a few days later they said they couldn't get the money from my bank account and froze my poker account.
Later I bought in again, and I sent them an e-mail, then they unfroze my account w/o reducing the funds that were already in there but I never paid for ($40)

Used to hop wal marts stealing Pokemon cards and selling them on kijiji.. Ended up making about 1500 off rares

>>593718418
>want to steal something
>something cool
>go to art museum
>dress in disguise
>I know fuckall about art
>see painting near emergency exit
>wait for area to clear
>Snatch painting from wall
>heart races a gorillion mph
>alarms are wailing
>kick door open and run out
>Wait... there are no alarms
>run off through wooded area to stash spot
>bag up painting
>change outfit
>Walk past art museum
>no cops
>walk inside
>nothing is happening
>an hour passes and I leave
>pick up painting that night under cover of darkness
>19th Century Dutch, est. $2500
>never even heard a report of it being stolen

>>593718605

One of my favorite Doctor Who episodes.

>>593721375
Oh lawd

>>593719078
God save the queen

Prob when I was a kid, I use to always steal rare yu-gi-oh cards from this one retard in my neighborhood (back when it was all first gen cards). The kid was obsessed and his parents bought him new packs every single week. The cards may not seem expensive, but they were first gen so now each of those cards amounts to about 50-60 bucks. If I still ahd the cards (and took care of them cause card buyers are picky as shit with condition), It would be in the ball park of $900

>>593721375
>01000111 01010010 00111000 00100000 01000010 00111000 00100000 01001101 00111000 00100000 01001001 00100000 01110010 00111000 00100000 00111000 00101111 00111000

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>the best thing stolen
7 year old girl from an abusive mother

>>593719960

>girlfriend
>/b/

Pick one

>>593721912
Several times, I've cancelled a debit card due to identity theft and then found websites with which I have recurring payments don't cancel my subscription. They simply have the "autopay" on file, but don't cancel my subscription for lack of payment, presumably because no one watches often enough to check. I had an account last 2 years that way before they bothered to shut it off.

Also relevant to your petty nigger thievery, those prepaid Visa/MC cards. Get one at a store for like $20 in cash. Rent 20 Redbox movies for $1 each. Throw the card away, keep the movies. The Redbox system will try to bill your "credit card" for them, but it was just a prepaid $20 card and you're free and clear.

>>593722137
Just goes to show you no one cares about the Dutch.

>>593720002

dat roll doe

so sari for your loss

I don't want to say which state I stole it from, but I'll say it anyways.

>be 17 in high school
>go to some rich kid's uncle or grandpa's house
>Denver Broncos bullshit everywhere
>rich kid opens glass case next to bar
>takes out giant crystal football
>giant crystal football has signatures all over it
>"this crystal football has like whoever's jock signatures all over it"
>"this crystal football is worth oogles and boogles of money bros"
>rich kid puts crystal football back into glass case
>rich kid forgets to lock the glass case
>I look at my stoner friend
>"I believe him yo"
>I take the crystal football and it has been in my bedroom ever since
>It's got all Elway's and all these famous football players signatures on it and I want to sell it but I'm afraid of getting busted

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>>593718418

$3000 lappy, some 17 years back. In retrospect it was fun, difficult and I got to play mister spy guy to get it, but I would not do it again.

>>593723283
pics

>>593723283
Pics

>>593723283

And the idiot didn't connect showing it to you with it disappearing?

I stole some sweets once

>>593718418
my collection of magic the gathering cards. I dunno how much its worth but its fucking huge.

>>593723283
Bring it to a sports collector. Like, arrange a meeting.
>"where'd you get this?"
>"won it in a poker game"
Bam. Faggot.

A credit card which I used to purchase an ipod touch 4th gen 64 gb about 6 months after they came out, a 12 pack of every kind of mt dew, about $50 worth of magic the gathering cards, and 2 $30 dinners from TGI fridays.

found the card outside of a milwaukee brewers game after getting kicked out for sneaking in booze, my friend didnt get caught and ended up getting wasted as fuck, we were gonna drive around all night and max out the card but he ended up getting a DUI.

Looked the bitch up on facebook, she was an abercrombie model (there was an associates card next to the credit card on the ground), she was super hot, black, and my cousin was a mutual friend. Wish I could still find her.

I stole an ATM 10 years ago.

Story?

>>593720145
lol'd

>>593718418
>go to walmart on black friday
>wait in line for ipad 2 a few years ago
>go to videogames aisle and grabs ps3 bundle
>bag both items along with a few other things, go through a closed aisle and leave
With all the items I made a grand in new items just like that. Bunch of flash drives and other items mixed in.

StatTrak M9 Night MW
and a ButterFly Knife Vanilla
all in one go
*scam
don't scam anymore tho, managed to make about $3000

>>593723956

Sure, I'd like to hear the story of your denial of payment to the prostitute who had performed ass-to-mouth.

>>593718418

hmmm....... stole a case of beer mugs from a restaurant I worked for. OK, a few cases.

I think that would be the most expensive.

Haven't stolen shit in decades.

>>593723283
>timestamp pic or it didn't happen

Like a half a pound of weed.

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>>593723956

oh do tell

for me:
>Post Hurricane Sandy
>walking doge around Long Island
>see big thing in the gutter
>recognize it as the local liquor store's marquee sign
>pick it up
>walk it home
>hang it above pong table
>saw the dude that owned the liquor store on a daily basis on my way to/from class
>compliment him on the new marquee sign

>>593721375
Shieeet

>>593724003
How the fuck you do that though?

All my walmarts and targets have all electronics locked up in glass.

>>593723602
He was showing it to a whole room of drunk high school kids. He was trying to get laid by being associated with Denver Broncos people and shit.
This was five years ago now and I've never heard a word about it. It's got Elway's and coach Shanahan's and the whole 97'-98' team signatures on it as well as some others.

>>593719960
pillows don't have hearts

>>593724698
Only the systems accessories are behind glass here. Congratulations on living in a nigtown.

>>593720882
>, anybody interested in the story?

I don't know why you faggots always do that.

shit or get off the pot. I don't care which.

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>>593718418
I did lots of theft in my day. But my biggest boost was a Savador Dali worth $50,000 back then. Might be worth $120k now

A girls heart.

All my prepared food for a semester of college

>>593724935
>Houston Texas

Makes sense, most people from here are spics and niggers, with a big shit pile of all other races mixed togeather.

I thought this was like, regulations or some shit.

>>593720647
>be me, i'm 17 at the time (19 now)
>stole xbox one
>two years ago
hmmm

>>593724993
>Savador Dali worth $50,000

what did you get for it? $1,000?

I lifted a GPS from a car one time. Still use it.

The things has a "home" function that still sends me to the house of the person I stole it from. Too lazy to change it.

>>593724698
I live in a pretty mexican area too, idk they just were giving out the ps4s and Ipads like they were candy once you got to the front of the line.
Brought my own bags kept in pocket, went to fishing aisle to bag them then B lined it to the door hiding in plain sight

>>593723283
how much do you want for it?

>denverfag

I defrauded investors of millions in a ponzi scheme.

>>593721375
OMFG WHAT
MODS

>>593725106
gay

>>593724102
>was 16 and bored
>used to run with a little group of dumb kids who did illegal shit. Not a gang though.
>got high as a kite off of some dank
>knew rednecks, they had truck.
>traded some weed for use of truck with no questions asked.
>this is where it gets retarded
>we scout out local drugstore with an outdoor atm, right by the door.
>place is 24 hours. Fuckitamirite.PNG
>we wrap chains around that bitch
>vroom vroom faggot
>29 or so miles later, we hit woods and lug it deep out there.
>made off with some dough.

Shit is easy, just don't be a pussy.

>>593724817
Cool post a fucking pic

>>593718418
a free balloon

a lime

I stole ice cream from dickies one time

>>593724817
how much

>>593725422
They didn't escort you to the checkout counter, or keep it behind counter until you're readyt º checkout?

Seriously if they don't even give a shit on Black Friday, I've been missing out big time.

>>593725638
29 miles?
Mmmmmmmmmkay

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>>593718418


Hopes and dreams of small children.

>>593724993
>Savador Dali

Did Doug Rosselli find it? Or die trying? Or is that only for Picassos?

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This times 10
>Work at grocery store
>steal 2 to 6 bottles of cheap liqour everyday
>start stealing cases of beer
>steal 50 bags of jerky at once (50x $5 a piece lol )
>make about 3 to 6 grand off selling this shit. Impossible to know how much I made
>give away tons of shit to my friends, vitamins protein bars etc

eventually get caught
Pay $700 in fines

>partied for 2 year, got a couple grand in tattoos, put 3 grand down on a car and payed for college classes with the money
>ITT: No fucking regrets besides not selling more of the shit I stole

>>593720059
whoa there edgeloard

>>593718418
Mp3s.
Stopped that when winmx went away... Around the time of the Metallica Napster bitch fest.

Thieves are on par with pedos.

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>>593725313
I switched it for a couple serigraphs I bought for about $600 at the gallery. They were wrapped to pick up in a brown paper. Limited ed. but nothing near the original i got

>>593726256
How'd you get caught?

>>593725638

You mistook my quip for genuine interest. Please go.

robbed a church camp of 700$ and spend it on weed and ray bans and shit

>>593718418
I stole a 50k painting

Stole a few hundred towels from a hotel for a fraternity party. Never thought of the dollar value, but I landed a 3some that night so its one hell of a good story

A big binder of expensive magic the gathering cards. Made around $3-4k(didn't count shipping cost) selling them on eBay & amazon. Ofc I didn't sell them off at once. I sold around 1.7k worth of stuff in a year to avoid paying tax.

>>593718791
Hate to break it to you but, I broke that butt way before you.

>>593725998
Imagine being a young fledgling fuck up and committing a felony. You'd drive incredibly far too.

>>593720651
What use is a gif that doesn't move?

a bottle of sriracha from Noodles & Company
A Beefeater bar rail mat thingy
and a 1 Bahama Dollar bill from some shitty bar

Stole a pot worth ~200k a few years back.

>>593719960
Crimged

A nokia xpress music
That was a long while ago

>>593718418
About 5k worth of WoW cards before they were activated by register.

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>>593726123
Never got so much as a phone call. I assume no one told or even knew. Merrill Chase Gallery no longer in business now.

>>593727017
>image format how does it work

>>593721433
At least you got dubs.

>>593724993
>But my biggest boost was a Savador Dali worth $50,000 back then.

>doesn't know that most galleries in the 80s were selling forgeries

seriously man, good luck ever selling that thing

probably a knife set (knife, multitool, flashlight, etc.)

>>593718418
i have only stolen a candy when i was 5. two hours later i told my mother and we went back to the store and she paid for it.

>>593726435
>images.duckduckgo.com.jpg
kek

I stole $185 million in bitcoins

it's only worth about $61 million now.

and there's not much to spend that kind of money on now that the deep web has evaporated.

damn bitcoins.

I've stolen a lot of shit but nothing really expensive. I've stolen a lot of games and stuff but technically the most expensive thing I've ever stolen was the Egyptian gods yu gi oh cards, there like worth 150

>>593727912
You could purchase roughly 3,050,000 4chan passes.

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>>593726453
My friend was filling a order for me (8 cases of bud light) and got caught. Ratted me out and ratted out everyone else that was involved.I took the heat for everyone (one dude had a kid) said it was jsut me and the guy stealing shit. I had a lot of people that did work for me but I always hooked them up with free beer for parties and shit. I had been stealing small shit for the 1st 6 months I was there, once I found the hole in the compactor and the truck it took off. I also had the back door keys so I'd wheel out cases and whatever. Stole a rug, blanket, gi joe figures, frozen food, magazines, energy drinks, lube, condoms, vitamins.....whatever I could either use or resell. We had a big close out section where they had all sorts of shit. I probably have 20+ pub glasses I stole, I had 2 wooden liquor signs (johhny walker and something else). I just sold them a few years back.

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>>593727292
>Merrill Chase Gallery

>>593728170
>You could purchase roughly 3,050,000 4chan passes.

thanks moot. you faggot.

>>593721375
You aren't clever at all, and luckily my time is unlimited, so you didn't take anything valuable

>>593727912
can I have some please?

>>593725566
You're actually right, im a lesbian. Turned a straight bitch gay. And before you start crying about tits or gtfo, that only applies if im being an attention whore.

Used to work for a clothing store that was shit at taking inventory, so I would pocket the cash sales. Probably made off with a few hundred dollars while I worked there... typically only did it if I wanted some extra $$$ for the weekend.

>>593728843
tits or gtfo

Stop making up your own rules you slut

>>593727912
Can I have some bitcoins? Please?
14WaK3zBG D8PpSEvF z3MorEAUG i9SJdGLo

>>593728843
I'm not that other guy, but that's still a faggy response.
>I'm not a robot

>>593729175
Had to separate it to get past the spam filter

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>>593727292

In the summer of '84 my friend let me borrow his new cassette tape which had some songs on it and I used my double decker to copy those songs onto a blank cassette.

I stole those songs and I have no regrets.

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When I was about 4 I used to steal those cheap locks that came with luggages

>>593720651
File name made me kek

>be on vacation
>realize I had forgotten deodorant
>walk into Walmart take some and walk out
>explosions

>>593728980

Inventory keeping is different from counting out a register.
You've gotta have a pretty seriously fucked up operation if you don't notice cash disappearing from registers.
Not to say you can't get away with it, but it shouldn't ever go unnoticed.

>>593718418
Boy with apple

>>593718418
Really want to know?

30 Marijuana plants from my neighbor.
Ustsb

>>593727912
OMG PLZ FCAN I HAVE BITCONS PLZZZZZZZZZZZZ :((

>>593718418
I stole a t shirt from a store in disneyland. there's no cameras or secutity or anything so i just walked out with it and nobody even noticed. I also stole a bunch of keychains and a shot glass.

I raided a DOT garage once. got 35-40 road signs, expensive tools, and a 110 gallon drum of road tar that I later dumped in someones yard then torched the barrel

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About 20 packs of this shit when I was about 10 years old.

>>593729115
>tfw no matter what, you will never lay your neet eyes upon mine glorious bosom.

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>>593729993

>>593729882
some places don't count the drawers at night. My buddies friend put a store out of business by taking just about $100 every night. Got off with close to $20 grand but blew it all on stupid shit

>>593729882
>>593729882
some places don't count the drawers at night. My buddies friend put a store out of business by taking just about $100 every night. Got off with close to $20 grand but blew it all on stupid shit

>>593730272
>yfw theres a billion other bosoms to look at and no one really gives a fuck about your anonymous boobs.

No tits, GTFO.

>>593730136

I could give you $40,000 and not even notice it was missing.

>>593718418
I stole my brother's girlfriend's virginity... and I don't feel bad about it.

>>593718418
I stole a car once.
Fucked up that whole year, i did

>>593730541
>tfw I will never gtfo
Stay mad

>>593720059
Hey man come on you can steal physics stuff and that's cool and all be that's your fellow man. What you're doing is morbid and I like but Bruh, don't do it to me :'(

>>593729175
Sent ;)

>>593730465

There's no way to record how much money you've taken in with cash unless you're just taking the register's records as accurate and that's beyond retarded. I'm sure some mom and pop stores are that lazy but yeah, pretty dumb.

>>593730207
no you didnt you faggot

>>593727292

"The suspect in the latest theft is white, 35 to 45 years old, between 5-foot-7 and 5-foot-9 with a receding hairline."

Are they in the ballpark?

>>593730784
It was a lazy mom and pop shop. Pretty god damn sad they were that dumb.

>>593720177
My fucking sides bro I had a rough day and now I'm in bed reading this shit. Fucking great Bruh.

I stole 300 oxycodone 30s 240 OxyContin 80s and 6 ounces of blow. Never got caught.

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>>593730689

>>593731168
from where?

>>593729882
I just didn't ring it through the register. They were ipads so I would just pretend to key something in for the customer & if i had to make change do it from my own pocket money. Also I was alone at this store ... a lot

>>593729175
>14WaK3zBG D8PpSEvF z3MorEAUG i9SJdGLo

how's your wallet looking now?

btw, didn't anyone ever tell you not to leave your bitcoin in someone else's protection?

$5 bag of redman

100+ MDMA gelcaps + a sheet of Gold Key LSD.

>>593730793

yeah and it was lots of fun We sold the "collector" signs like interstate signs, ect along with alot of the tools. We had some collapsible signs that said DUI checkpoint that we kept for later pranks. The rest we hid in an abandoned motorhome.

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Went into target on Black Friday loud so no one could hear shit toooo packed broke glass case to beats headphones took those went to the PS3/4 area broke glass and took those too

>>593725280
He didn't specify the console though

>>593731349
Some rich kid that wanted to start selling drugs.

>>593718418
I set off an emp outside a bank.... drilled trough the wall and made off with 800000 in cash

>>593719739
texas rep

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>>593721375
ugh you bastard

>>593721375
rekt

>>593732390
This ain't Payday

>>593724041
How'd you pull the scam? I want to know for reasons

I work for the govt. I steal your tax $$ all day 4channing at work.

>>593718961
you are a nigger mate

>>593731482
Even if the money was sent that anon wouldn't get if for a while because of all the bullshit confirmations it has to go through

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I stole a whole shit ton of collectible silver coins and small 1 oz bars from a storage locker, along with a beer keg. Sold them to melt for 800 something.

Collectively stole thousands of dollars of beer from wal mart after I learned they can't stop shoplifters stealing alcohol.

night vision goggles from an undercover sqaud car while car shopping got caught next day felony theft

>>593718418
a few pairs of socks from the store I worked at, retail price $8 a pair

>>593733052
really hard to do it know, Steam finally put in alot of detriments.. i.e. can't click profiles on the market, shows details at top of trade window
Anyone, I'd just pretend to be a SteamRep mod and talk on another account asking to buy their knife whilst I middleman not to their knowledge

One time i tried to steal a pair of sunglasses from Walmart and got caught