I think of suicide a lot, even though I don't actually want to die. Anyone else like this? Like when I see a balcony I think about jumping off, when I see a gun I think about shooting myself, etc. I've never actually tried to kill myself and have been trying to get better, but it makes me nervous that I think like this.
>Anyone else like this?
I've also had several dreams where I shoot myself in the head or let myself be shot in the head.
So what are we? Subconsciously we want to die but the logical part of our brain tells us to keep living? I mean, fucking creepy to every day be thinking about suicide automatically...
Once I realize what I'm doing I stop and try to think of something else.
just split up with gf of 2 years last night. neither of us wanted to break up but due to some circumstances it was the only logical option.
just woke up and feeling really odd. mostly pissed off that things have to be the way they are.
dont even know what to do right now
Be happy that you had the times together, and that the relationship ended well even if logistically it didn't work. Some relationships end really bad, sounds like your ended well. That's actually rare and special.
Got paid off today.
Anyone selling those shiteating grins? I'm gonna need them for interviews.
yeah man, it ended well, we both promised we'd keep talking and being friends and stuff and that maybe one day way out in the future if it makes sense we could get back together
but thats just the thing though, everything with her was always just really lovely, even the breakup was nice in a really depressing sort of way.
i suppose i'm just unhappy that we have to not be together.
fuck off cunt
Well remember that you guys shared good times together and that it ended well. In all honesty, it can be hard to keep up with someone after a relationship is over (but not impossible), but the fact that it ended so well is pretty cool. I mean, there are people that haven't had that happen in their lifetimes. Most relationships end badly.
So, sorry you feel unhappy, but, it couldn't have ended better and you'll always have that!
It might seem really silly, but I just finished Evangelion.
It makes me feel really uneasy, as if I just now realize that I'm just a tiny nothing into an immensity of people.
My life is shit, I feel so alone.
Subconciously we want to get out of our circumstances. This is the mechanism that led our ancestors to leave their tribe, their nest and go and mix genes with other groups. If it was not for us depressed people we would all be children of incest and humanity could not evolve.
Acceptance is what my psychologist talks about a lot.
She actually just goes on and on about acceptance and peace of mind. I get the concepts, but, really hard to put into practice. I try to be "present" and so forth.
Think it is time for me to end therapy. kek.
Change what you can't accept, accept what you cant change.
All I ever do nowadays is wait for my phone to vibrate. All I want is someone to message me. What a sad fucking existence I live.
Fall back, do drugs again, you'll feel good while you're high
Anyway, we're all gonna keep those words in mind while trying to get some sleep and never do anything with them so...
i mean come the fuck on, when someone texts you, says he cant get you out of his head and whatnot, asks if youd try it again you ATLEAST respond with a no right?
no, fucking woman shit pseudo no, wrapped in a non existing response.
i hate that....have the balls to respond, say yes or no.
haha a bit harsh.
was thinking about just going with a subtle passive aggressive "wont get an answer huh?"
and be done with it.
been working up about thinking to try it again way too much, has to end.
That feel when I have depression and am literally unable to feel euphoria / excitement / happiness. On a good day, I am numb
My fiance' and I split during November. Since then I cant seem to move forward. I have been thorough break ups but nothing like this. Im not trying to live in the past but its where my mind likes to take me. Try as I might not to think of all the sweet times. I still dont know what the fuck to do.
Most depression and anxiety manifest physically, unfortunately.
I get this feeling the granola types that spew some of this stuff have never really been depressed or anxious to the level of a disorder.
Love will find you again, when you free yourself from the past. My emotional hardship turned into an opportunity to rebuild myself, choose to be happy. You really are what you think, no matter how bad things are, never forget, they can easily be way worse. Some people never get to feel love at all, and die that way. Personal change can't happen in a heartbeat either, it will take a serious effort. My first step was running.. after wallowing in self pity and darkness for nearly a year and a half.
you're damn right... more than telling her rationally why we should give it another try is all i couldve done.
she was the perfect match for me, but if she thinks to fuck me over. her loss... pretty disappointing and sad but shit, i cant go on with thinking about her and what could or couldnt be.
>I get this feeling the granola types that spew some of this stuff have never really been depressed or anxious to the level of a disorder.
I was like that too before, when people reached out to me, when I was depressed. I remember how difficult it was to be empathetic and feel others' pain, when my own was so great.
I feel miserable and I want to get drunk, but I haven't had a drink in three weeks now. Longest I've been sober in ages.
Apparently my liver isn't looking good, so I have to stop drinking, but I've been drunk every night for so long, it doesn't feel right being sober.
My family are all so proud that I've kicked the booze and it'd break their hearts if I started again.
That pic looks like it's from SpaceEngine.
Beautiful game. Here's a screenshot I took.
I'm trying to get off these anti-depressants, final drug to stop after quitting all my other psych meds. Hopefully when I reach the bottom I'll get more energy, right now I just want to die mostly.
Literally think of killing myself every day. Pretty scary, because I think of it randomly and it intrudes into whatever I'm doing.
If it wasn't real, it wouldn't work out anyway, even if you said/did all the right things. If she ignores you, she's not ready for you and you should let her go. Life happens.
Just wondering what your drinking habits were in the past that led to your liver being in the state it's in now? How much alcohol you drank, the frequency, for how long etc
Anyone quit anti-depressants? How fast did you go? I just want to get it over with but I feel sick each time I lower them.
Was on 60mg of Cymbalta, did a week at 50mg, now at 40mg and feel kinda woozy... should I just get it over with and drop like every 3 days?
I just want a hug, i do not care about anything else anymore.
as sad as it is youre probably right anon.
looks like shes obsessed with sports though, she recently broke up with the guy whom she broke up with me to be.
its just so disappointing, seeing that his nice,cute girl turned out to be someone i dont know.
I've gotten rejected for the 6th time this week all because I've asked them if they like me. Why do so many girls just want to be friends with me? These girls have no idea how much it hurts to some of us guys, we give them our hearts and they tear it up. I've never had a real girlfriend before because every other girl who has dated me, only did it out of pity. I wanna kill myself so badly /b/, I have no job, no money, I want to be a filmmaker but nobody likes my ideas. All I want is a girl to block out the horrible things in this world and make me happy, but that'll never happen. Somebody please hold me.
I used to wake up every morning and think about leaping off of my high-rise condo balcony escape the hardship. You're not the only one who has felt that way. I highly recommend running... when push yourself hard enough and muscles start to ache and the air your breath feels like fire, you'll forget about your emotional pain.. this worked for me.
I'm gonna give up soon. I have no job, no life, finishing college but have MDD and taking heavy amounts of antidepressants...
I figure i'll pull out the vodka bottle, my meds and have a lie down
Yeah, hah, I live in a condo too. I can't look out the window without thinking of jumping.
I've been doing some moderate exercise, but, because these antidepressants make me tired and woozy during withdrawal, trying to find some way to not kill myself that I can manage.
Running out of movies. /b/ does help kek. Can waste a good day on /b/.
Yeah. My doctor put me on some. I'm still a little upset about it. I took them for maybe six months before I said Fuck it. They made me rage and it hurt when o would have orgasms so finally I was like nope. Quit taking them, cold turkey, which I guess is frowned upon. Felt like garbage for maybe a week or so. Feel great now.
i'm glad i can bitch about my problems with other people in similar situations and get advice/support
Thanks, and good for you. I've been on these for like two years. They might help with really bad depression, but, I think they are making me worse, hence stopping them.
I'm going to drop to 30mg tonight, then see how I react, then go to 20mg.. then that's the last drop I can do before 0.
Crying doesn`t always mean you`re sad. I`ve cried before simply because I was moved emotionally by someone. I`m also a guy, no one I know would ever expect this from me. A good cry feels good afterward, kind of grounds you if that means anything to you.
I'm sitting here, reading every single line, I feel my eyes itching but not a single tear comes out
I forgot what it felt like to cry myself, I just remember this deep last breath you take after the last tear fell.
I miss my tears, and you anon ?
I'll be in the same situation than you anon
GF and I will celebrate 2 years when she will be going in germany for studies, she goes there for 6 months
It's been a year we've been away from each other for studies too, She's 5 hours away in train from me, and it's very difficult
I think I won't be able to handle the fact she's out of reach...
>TFW I know we're gonna split
>TFW I'm not very attractive to the other girls, and i'm not very interested into other girls too
>MFW she'll be gone
ikr. Here's something a little more uplifting.
My name is actually Simon
is it a sign?
what are the odds
Hey guys, and girls. Please don't give up, keep on fighting.
>no gf, friends or job
>sick from drug withdrawals
>want to kill myself
>already have the gun
Find something worth living for, like learning a new language or programming.
I dont think that its a self esteem issue.Im a quiet person and I want to be talkative.I can greet and smile to the other person then ask how are they doing and thats it.I go silent
I havent either...its been about 5 years. that time I cried because my heart was broken. However... I did cry a few days ago because I finally let myself get close enough to someone to let them hurt me if they wanted (I feel like i can trust her) and it reminded me of the pain I once felt. It felt good.
I know I'm never gonna give up.
Nine times out of ten I'm genuinely happy, working hard and achieving.
It's that fucking one time that hits like a bitch. I've spent a lot of time missing people I used to know and accepting that others are living their lives without me.
I really want someone to cuddle with, who'll hug me and not want to let go for a good while. I miss being wanted, despite having a good number of friends who love me as much as I love them.
This is that one time out of ten and I'm so tired.
I'm off them.
I said that last year, I was going to kill myself on New Years... the said I'd give it another year. I just don't feel like once I finally stop with the withdrawals like I'll even know what to do. I have no purpose, no place.
How old are you anon ?
You know, I know a girl, a good friend
I find her very very cute, but she's really beta when it comes to relationships, so now, she thinks that men will never like her
Because she only dated douchebags
Maybe you're just making it wrong with women
I mean, the problem isn't YOU, it's normal to fail with women What matters is your ability to not be pissed off, and to stay strong
Have you got male friends, or are you really alone ?
Holy fuck, this. Word of advice, you have two options at this point, you can look deeper into yourself by letting the sadness in, or maintain your sanity long enough for it to pass, because it DOES go away despite what you might think right now.
>very hostile to people but has common sense/mature
>has mild aspies
>small interest range (vidya games and anime really)
>find girl with same interests, as good at detecting bullshit as me, mature, has aspies too, easy to talk to/can be myself, etc
>pretty sure i found a soulmate
>know for 6 months
>talk about how fucking jesus she is, how i'd make it work/if it meant moving
>"i would never do an online relationship or build an irl one off of an online one"
>Derealization for 6 months, from weed
>no job, no gf
>my life is shit
Out all of my family, I'm the one who's suppose to succeed. I'm 17, and I am required by law to live with my dad. I live with him and my step mom and step-brother who both hate me. I have 2 brothers, who both live with my mom. For the past 16 monthes I've been alone in my fathers house. Everyone sees me as a strong, personable, social guy. It is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with to be apart from my real family. My child-good was always shitty, and the only person to ever be there for me was my brother. Now that I don't see see him, I contemplate suicide often. I've been so depressed. I'm alone now, where my brother always used to be there for me. I always have to put a front up so I am still the prospect, or the hope of the family that I can get everyone out of our shitty situation. But what they don't get is how it kills me to be apart from my best friend ever. It kills me inside. :,(
I met this girl. I liked her a lot. She's now my gf.
I found out she has quite a lot of deep problems like being a recovering anorectic with fucked up side effects, she takes tons of pills and has emotional scars from previous relations. I really like her but I don't know what to do and If I can do it, she really trusts me and trusts that I won't abandon her, I don't know if I should be there for her and help her through it all or just be a fucking awful horrible piece of shit and bail. I'm sad. Help.
Hey, it worked for me. I'm also learning Mandarin on the side. Such a rewarding experience, and feels great to take my notes in class completely in Japanese.
Also, the more you learn the language (Japanese), the less of a weeb you become. This is because you learn the actual language, and not just the way they talk in anime.
I know how you guys feel. What helps me is realizing that realizing that we are all standing on the edge of a huge abyss, with millions of people, animals, and non-sentient life falling in it at any given second. I think there's beauty in that; beauty in that while standing on the edge, we have the capability to realize we are alive and can choose our own fate. Kind of Nietzcheian(?)
Basically I like dispensing with the notion that we are each special. We're not. We each have more in common that we might otherwise think. This realization helps me. Anyone else feel the same?
she's just nervous that when we carry it to irl then it would be different because of internet personas. btw i made her sound like an ass there with her response, she said it in a much more understanding way just putting that there in case it was integrated with anyone's response
afaik she would be fine with the relationship if it wasn't online and i know that in 1-2 years she's gonna be busy with real life/college and i can't fucking stand knowing that there's someone out there who's fucking perfect for me
Bail. I tried to be there for one of these crazy cutting chicks with all kinds of abandonment issues and in the end she was a self centered black hole of emotion. Cured me of that "hero" complex right quick.
Jesus christ man. I don't know what's wrong but just try to keep your head up bro. Life will get better.
>make her my girlfriend
>realise she's suicidal
>She tried to kill herself twice since we've been together
>one day she's fine, the other she wished she was dead
>I want to help her but idk what to do
>she trusts me that I won't leave her and shit
>her depression shit fucks my daily life up
>No fun with gf
>Errything gone to shit
Well, weeaboos don't really care about Japanese culture or the language. I'll say again: Weeaboos don't really care about Japanese culture OR the language. Rather, weeaboos only care about Japanese *popular* culture, and the many nuances of the Japanese language are anything but "kawaii." There are a lot of new grammatical rules that one must learn, in addition to the thousands of kanji characters to master, each of which usually have 2-3 or even 4 ways of reading them depending on context.
So if you're in Uni, go to where the Elementary Japanese classes are being held. It's still early in the semester, so you can spot the weeaboos who are only there because they want to talk like their favorite characters. Then go to the intermediate classes, and even the advanced ones. Notice the change in number of students.
At my school, most of the weeaboos drop out either in the second part of the Elementary courses, or the first part of the Intermediate ones. I'm in the last part of the Advanced section at my school, and I'm loving it. I push myself to learn beyond what we're being taught in class, and my professors (both past and present) appreciate it.
I'm really glad to hear that.
My depression definitely got worse after my dog died. It made me see a doctor though, after a decade of suffering (I was depressed even when I had my dog, but he made my life more bearable and gave me the most emotional support out of anyone).
He still keeps me going, though. When I feel like shit, when I really get low - I think about how privileged I was to have known him. It sounds like I'm talking about a person here, haha. He had a hell of a lot of personality, though.
What gets to me most is that, that personality is gone for good. It makes me angry.
No you don't. I'm a cancer survivor, and there's nothing more in the world that hurts your family than seeing you child slowly die. Just trust me, you don't. Also, seeing all the little kids and people who wan to live, slowly die will tear you apart.
This will probably get buried with the posts going on, but I feel like sharing with the Internet
>get high with a good female friend
>not too much of smoking, but good shit mixed with shitty shit
>it's really cold outside
>she wants to go to my place
>has a bf, open relationship but she never used dem pros
>we talk about random shit while lying in my bed
>she starts scraching my back
>baked brain makes me thinking it will get her horny because she's kinky and shit
>let get cont
>she's scraching with increasing strength
>it's really fucking painful
>ask her to stop,doesn't work
>eventually push her
>she's still fucking trying to scrach me
>try to hold her, won't work since I don't wanna hurt her
>she's fucking biting me
>spend the next hour or so fighting in bed
>every time I hold her I lay my head on her, like we're a couple
>feels good, thanks to my good imagination
>she won't stop no matter what, and I still lay my head on her
>she's not into anything but hurting me
>time passes by, bf calls and she needs to leave
>I lay on bed, trying to comprehend what just happened
>realise I've been trying to be friendly with her just to get a hug or something
>I've been suffering through this pain just for a her fucking contact
>start crying because no one wants to give me any physical contact, instead of hurting me
I'm fucking pathetic
Ok, Let's confess something
>Be me 19
>Best Friend tells me to go on a party with him
>I don't know anybody except him
>Ppl seem to be not cool
>It's OK I'll get drunk it'll be cool
>My Friend gets drunk too
>Friend : "Hey Pal ! Are you ok to discuss as we're both drunk ! It can be cool !
>Yes sure ! :)
>We talk about life, about our GF and shit
>He looks to me
>You know anon
>I've never said it to anyone, because i'm not that kind of guy but
>I'm not happy at all in my life
>I feel like Life, is shit
>Me : Hey bro, I'll be there for you don't worry, you know we're good friends ok ?
>Friend : Thx anon, you know, you're my only true friend
>TFW I could have told him the same
>TFW I really feel alone even tho I shouldn't say this because I'm not as desperate as most of you /b/ros
I'd like for all of you to be happy anons
I really hope you'll see better days coming
Here's a picture of my dog after a swim. I hope it makes you day less crappy guys. He loved people :-)
Same situation, I guess we just got handled that burden and I think we need to follow it through. We need to be the ones to make them right, to help them and push through the problems. If we do this we will be incredible people and help them be the same as well, if we do not we will be horrible people and think about it forever - leaving them forever scarred. We've got a choice but if we're honest to ourselves there's only one path to follow. We are the ones. Let's save some fucking women.
If she does not care for you, aka, she tries to kill herself even if she is in a relationship, she does not love you. It sounds hard, but she does not.
Break up with her, inform someone about her condition. Been there, it almost pulled me into this shit.
>All I want is a girl to block out the horrible things in this world and make me happy, but that'll never happen. Somebody please hold me
Welcome to my world.
You're probably right anon, but it's so hard at times. We have to push on tho.
>Sounds like you just had a bad experience with a person who probably has issues.
Hey, you get her into your bed, how pathetic can you be.
Dude, I'm not the guy you responded to, but that is the source of my problem.
I was with a girl for some weeks, but she currently don't really want to talk to me.
It's a fucking long story, but that generally sums it up, that she basically has some issues to deal with from e.g her former abusive relationship. I got to creampie her, and I should move on, basically should be pretty happy.
There are people you can not fix, can not change, and you will lose a good bit of yourself trying. I've been in similar situations about five times now and only one turned out good, well I guess all that lead me to the place I am today and that's not bad at all. I will stfu. ;)
if anyone could give me some type of advice of what to do here, would be jesus. she lives about 8 hours from me and in about 1-2 years i'd be more than capable of making the move if needed.
i have a girlfriend with lots of physiological disorders that often make her suicidal. she attempted suicide not too long ago. but she does love me very much, and the one thing that is keeping her going right now is me. just because someone is still suicidal even in a relationship doesn't meant they don't love you. being in a relationship doesn't automatically make them stop being sad. of course they will still be suicidal, and that's not because they don't love you, but as long as you're there for them and help them, they won't kill themselves.
unless you lied when clicking "I am not a robot"
Fuck, I know what you mean and you are right. You're completely right but trust me, if he leaves her she will kill herself. She will just do it. It is for attention, it is a cry for help, but she does care. She cares enough to take her life when she realizes the only person she had finally abandoned her. She cares.
Not OP here
It's OK mate
You know 2 years ago, I've told a girl I barely knew I was in love with her
Even if she found me nice she told me it was kinda weird
I cried like a faggot in front of her
And you know what ?
She's my GF now, and we have a strange relationship
but we love each other
Don't feel obligated to be normal
Normal is shit, BE YOU
If it works for you, it's OK
And if it doesn't work for you, try something else
And you're not pathetic for wanting attention from girls
Even if i'm with a girl right now, I'd do anything to geta girl I know to pay attention to me
And she doesn't, but life is OK
This anon. Truth.
I know it's hard but don't leave her.
i waited so long that my sim expired,thats two years,no happy birthdays,no happy new years,no how you doing from anybody not even even my own family,im done, ive got acouple bottles of ambien and lunesta,gonna get a sleepy high and drink antifreeze with some whiskey,the most painless way to go i hope.seeya /b/.
just one of my many inside references oops
that's what i came to the conclusion of after it. i don't want to push anything too fast because if it's going to be a long term relationship that's not gonna go well at all. since i haven't talked to anyone about it so far, i thought it would be a good to have some insight.