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mfw this was the relationship I had with my dad- we disagreed in a lot of things, got each other annoyed or hurt each other, but we can't admit to each other that we're like best buddies rather than just being related.
>>592348404 Post a quick summary if you want. I still miss my ex, we took eachothers virginity and now she is fucking some guy who works at lowes.. pisses me off but makes me sick to my stomach at the same time
>>592348804 Earlier she told me she loved me, and her heart acts the way it does only towards me. So it doesn't make sense for her to just block me and not expect me to care.I'm sure she has her reasons. I just want to understand them. Before she say goodbye forever, I need to have closure. I just want closure.
Maybe it was because of the sex or me saying that "this kinda blows, we've been talking for so long already and I wanted some intimacy, but you've been a bit distant recently". Or maybe she thought that I'm only here for sex (even though that's false) or that somehow she thought my feelings somehow changed and she wanted to "back the fuck off".
It just doesn't seem right. What happened to her?
I honestly love her and even though it hurts me tremendously to be rejected like this, I won't force her to love me.
She said she trusted me less after we got together (because she's been hurt and has more to lose) So she said it'd be easier if my feelings for her changed so she could back off
>>592347604 I feel you bro, My girl and I had our first anniversary on december 23rd. we got eachother really thoughtful gifts and from my perspective were super happy and exciting and loving. a week later she told me the spark had faded away and she just didn't feel the same way about me. We broke up not long after. Today she told me it makes her uncomfortable when I'm sweet to her, and makes her feel badly. As I see it, I can't talk to her at all without giving her bad feelings, and I don't want her to remember me that way. She was my first girlfriend and in my naivete I thought we'd end up getting married. Sometimes I'd tell her I didn't know what I'd do without her and she'd reply, "Aren't you glad you never have to?" Our lives were so intertwined that I can't talk to a friend or wake up in the morning without seeing something that reminds me of her.
>>592350162 She just lost interest in me, I guess. I tried so hard to be her perfect guy, never calling her on any of her shit and always taking blame for everything to keep the boat steady. I was a rock perpetually battered by the tides but never shifted. Rocks are not fun or exciting after a year. I had decided from an early age that my purpose in life was to find a wonderful girl and work my ass off to make her as happy as possible, and I did my damn best, /b/. my damn best.
>>592350644 Sometimes a woman wants a man to stand up to her and put her in her place, you don't have to be passive all the time, gotta tell her sometimes tho be like "bitch listen here" and then tell her what's up.
>>592350617 >Tfw I cuddled with a freckled QT and she looked up at me with big adorable eyes, then closed them snuggled closer to me, smiling the smile of a girl completely at peace, completely protected by her love.
>>592350852 >he's limping now >shedding blood on the grave he guards >literally can't carry the weight anymore >the loyalty is too heavy >but he never quits, even when his body fails him >Artorias never quit on him >your weapon lands the final blow >the woods go quiet Don't worry Sif, you'll see your old friend soon
>>592350512 >>592351453 Oh sorry, I thought we were writing OC feels. didn't realize you were just posting the sif copypasta.
Here are some feels for you. >Tfw the beautiful love of your life whom you would die for slowly becomes a power thirsty bitch, and you have to remove your soul from your body for the good of your people, dooming yourself to forever walk in little circles in the dark. Spoiler alert, the people you sacrificed yourself for were not saved, and they too sit in the dark, too far gone to even walk in circles.
> Be me 17 > Father is dieing of brain tumor will be kill in short time. > Girlfriend decides to cheat on me > "Its all your fault you were depressed and distant" > She then starts fucking everyone and tells me about it. >This kills the man. >Im now 21 and haven't even spoken to another women since. (except my mother)
>>592351836 I was doing a lets play on dark souls 2 with my friend, we were doing a female character run for the hell of it and i made a very close replica of my ex, and i didnt even realise it till later, I get you man, shit sucks
>dad diagnosed with cancer, given 6 months to live when I was in the first grade >be 26 now >he never beat it, just kept surviving >chemo killed him faster then the cancer, gave it up >tumors on spinal chord, doc's won't touch >has seizures now, passes out a lot lately >can't work anymore >struggles to stand to hug me when I visit, which isn't as often as it should be >smiles so genuinely everytime, like he doesn't care he's missing teeth >he's to stubborn to give up >weighs less than I do now >mfw I've been watching my father rot and wither before my eye's for almost 20 years >mfw I don't know how many more weeks he's got left in him
Be lonely and European, walking from bus stop to home, suddenly I hear growling and barking behind me. I look down and see a Husky puppy waggling its tail and wanting to play. Ask him where his owner is like he will understand me, he barks and runs circles around me wanting to play.
Houses everywhere but no one in sight he chases me so I go around houses asking if someone knows whos husky this is, no one knows. It started to rain and decide to take him home since there was a busy road not far and did not want him to get run over or some lunatic find it, also I love huskies. Spend another full two days looking for its owner. Again no one knows and I decide to adopt the dog myself.
I am a lonelyfag so spend alot of time with him, play, go outside, jog together etc. Chicks dig puppies, so the attention was nice. Train my husky, learn it to sit, rollover, fetch and even walk without a leash.
1.5 month later some dude that was from the houses told me a man is looking for that dog and is offering 2000 euros for it. Which I found weird because Huskies go for like 400-500 euros here. Tell him I am not interested and I got used to the dog and put too much effort now.
Few days later some man at my door, he asked around about a man with a husky, neighbors know me well so they send him to my house.
Tells he wants the dog because he got it for his daughter who has cancer and she loves the dog. Said he cant buy another because his daughter will tell the difference because of the mask huskies have and that its not the same husky.
Tells me to think about it and says he will pay 2500 euros upfront.
>grandfather raised me as a kid >mum and dad hated each other >fought constantly >he talked to them and had me move in with him and my grandmother when i was 8 >lived with them til i was 14 >parents sorted things out by the time i was 14 >problem was debt and shit >started getting friends etc >something i never had >one of my friends gives me a shitty classical acoustic guitar for my 15th birthday >immediately love it >totally immerse myself in music >desperately trying to put together a band since i started playing >Was shitty but i loved it >by the time my 16th birthday rolls around im much better >spend 7 hours a day practicing >video lessons online (what little i could find back then) >spent every penny i ever had on music books etc >grandfather buys me my first eletric guitar for my 16th birthday >stagg nitro telecaster >black with white checkerboard on it >fucking love it >Feel like a fucking rockstar playing it >still trying to put together band >grandfather retires when im 18 >immediately falls into ill health >was an alcoholic in his twenties and thirties >his mom, dad and brother died in a car crash and left him on his own with my grandmother (who oddly enough was also orphaned but at a much younger age) >he'd tuirned to booze to help with thing >it caught up with him the minute he stopped working >2 heart attacks in 5 months, more strokes than i can count, parkinsons, M.S >refused to fucking die >broke my heart to see him like that >finally get in a band >we're shitty but we love what we do >just old style 12 bar rock and roll shit >hella bad at it >keep practicing >grandfather gets worse >visit him less and less because i cant stand seeing him withering away >phone him occassionally but the strokes ruined his speech.
>>592353815 Literally nothing. I'm doing well in all my classes, I have a great (albeit small) circle of friends, there's nothing in my life that would even get me down. And despite that I spent all night staring at my computer wanting to kill myself. It's like there's this heavy hole in my gut just sucking me away.
>>592354107 I really loved my dog but I figured it was not my dog and the girl needed him more than me. Guy comes by again tell him he can keep the money, he insists but I refuse because I told him I dont find it ethical that he pays for his own dog.
Kiss and hug the dog for the last time, dude tries to walk away with it while its on the leash. Husky starts to cry and make a run for me. Dude picks it up like a baby, husky stretches it paw out and crying. It was like a small child sticking his hand out and going daddy please no. Hear the dog bark and cry the whole time, even in the car, it was that loud. Finally out of sight and start crying.
Week later that man had left me 2500 euros in my mailbox, thanking me and saying how great I made the dog.
Goodbye Storm, you were the best and for moment I was happy and did not fell lonely but now you are in a better family I guess.
>band breaks up >fucking devastated >singer fucked drummers gf or some such bullshit >everyone stops talking to one another after huge fights break out >lose most of my friends >stop playing guitar >20th birthday my mom demands i go see my grandfather >try to resist but ultimately cant >go see him >sit with him watching Columbo like we used to when i lived with him for 6 hours >help feed him birthday cake and shit >he presses the button he has on a chain round his neck >grandmother comes in >whispers something to her and she leaves the room >comes back in with huge fucking hardcase for a guitar >grandfather had put money aside while he worked >had spent a load of it on my brithday >dean ML guitar, Marshall amp head and cab, all sorts of pedals and shit >proper break down when she gives me it >promise him ill start playing again >work my ass off to put together a band >eventually manage to form a prog metal band >work our asses off constantly >get phonecall during a rehearsal >25th january 2012 >grandfather died in his sleep >just like that >Fucking shut down and shit >takes me months to even start eating properly again >get back to normal >january 25th 2014 >2 year anniversary of grandfathers death >grandmother asks me to help clean her attic of some of my grandfathers old shit >moving old fishing boxes into cupoboard downstairs >Find huge bundle of invoices >my grandfather had spent all his savings on phsyciotherapy sessions to try and give him the ability to walk again >ask grandmother why hes spent so long doing it when it wasnt working >"he wanted to come see you and your friends play at your gigs but was afraid if he came in a wheelchair he wouldnt be able to see you guy" >fucking shattered again >go home and cry myself to sleep for 3 days straight >grandmother had given me one of his old fishing lures as a keepsake >decide im gonna fit it to the strap of my guitar >fucking with shit in guitar case
I'm 23 years old. Ever since high school I've always wanted to feel the sensational loving embrace that only she can give you. Not saying I'm a kissless virgin. I've had girlfriends before, lost my virginity on my 18 birthday. But the girls I've dated weren't special to me. I crave that feeling. seeing all those happy couples holding each other, even now as I write this there are couples loving each other. I've never felt what love truly is. I want to be able to hold my girl, kiss her, tell her I love her. I want her to do the same. But I fear it would never happen. And so I try to cover it up. I try cover up the real me with the "I don't give a fuck" me. And so I go on living. Still holding on to hope that some day, by some miracle, I will find her. Just maybe, just maybe I'll find her.
>Be 25th birthday today >Everyone says 25 is a special milestone >Bunch of shallow facebook congratulations >yet know I'll be spending my 25th birthday alone in my studio apartment because no relationships worth a damn
The loneliness just hits extra hard on special days when you just aren't supposed to be alone.
>little panel inside the case is loose >never notices it before since its made of the same felt shit the rest of the case is >must be for pedals or some shit >open it >inside is a bag with some cables, plectrums and a note >written in horrible shaky ahndwriting >"anon, i hope this will help you get back into the swing of things. You always reminded me of andrew, he played guitar too but he was never as good as you and he gave up too easy. hopefully soon i can come see you play with your band. Love Grandpa James" >andrew was my grandfathers brother who died in the car crash >mfw my grandfather spent his life savings to try and come see me play live >mfw when my grandfather encouraged me because he saw his brother in me >mfw i he never got to see me play >mfw i play gigs i have his fishing lure on my guitar strap >mfw i cry after pretty much every fucking gig
>>592355288 You are me 3 years ago. I found that someone, we got married in September. I can't promise you you'll find her that soon, or at all, but I know your feels and know that it CAN work out. Just remember that you can love anyone, it's not hard. We've all loved fucking monsters before. But find that bitch that even the worst shit about her helps you out. Love can grow in awful places, but the stain of real hate can never be cleaned. Find someone that top to bottom, inside and out, you don't hate. Start from there.
>find out ex is dating another guy for a while now (few months) >man i went across the world for this european goddess >probably deepthroated his dick and fucked him like crazy >alcoholism, ahoy. Fuck it, fuck the bitch, fuck jobs, fuck it all man, fuck it all. At least I got beers.
I cant sleep, i've drank so much i'm detoxing. I can barely manage simple tasks. And she lives in my head. How can they say they love you, spend life with you, and then just change their fucking mind. That's fucking damage.
>>592356885 Keep doing that and you'll grow immune. Once you stop absorbing it it'll stain your games until they're as venomous as your feels. Same with any crutch. If you have feelings, eat them. Rip them apart, cut them surgically, slowly bite, it doesn't matter, you just have to process them. They'll taste like shit, and probably make you sick for a while, but you'll heal. You're designed to go through this process. Don't let it rot and fester until it's to poisonous to break down.
>>592349630 Very similar to a situation I had. She and I dated for about 15 months and we never had set (virgins in high school), and she started dating a guy 3 months later and fucked him within a week. They're still together and it's been over 2 years. Fuck.
>>592355828 happy birthday anon, i would chill with you, but this is the internet and 4chan, i cant thrust you guys so easilly, yet the wish remains. happy b-day anon, i know it will be my turn in a week.
>>592357241 >How can they say they love you, spend life with you, and then just change their fucking mind. That's fucking damage. this and they leave. without saying a goodbye, having no heart. thinking they have to be 'strong' or some fucked up women feelings. Fuck and you can't even say this shit without coming off like a god damn sexist.
>>592352973 I was 23... slept with a lot of girls 8/10 alpha male. Heart of stone protecting myself from hurt... no woman has been let inside the walls I've built around myself. Finally a girl comes along... everything I'd ever wanted and I finally let my guard down. Had never even told a girl that I "liked" her much less loved her. Go all out let myself fall after 6months of leading this girl on. Finally decide she's it. My only relationship lasts 3 weeks after she tells me she's not attracted to me anymore after wanting me so bad for so long. We break up... I haven't kissed a girl since and I'm almost 30. Don't even remember how I use to fuck so many girls or have them in my phone txting all day. Can't even approach anymore. Total beta male. I'd have rather never had it at all than having for a little while.
>>592358167 friend.. at least we can say we've had the problem. We know what it is, we still choose to say 'fuck it take another beer/line/shot/smoke'. At least we aren't those crackheads who are so far down the hole they can't see light. Fuck how women can destroy a man like this.
Neither will anyone else; no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect, either. Everyone you're romantically involved with will hurt you and you, you'll hurt them too. It might not be something huge, like cheating on them or anything like that; it's small things, though. It could be the way you phrase something, not calling them back if you miss their call, a little thing like that.
Those things are easily fixed, though. They're not generally deal breakers; thing is, we all do little things like that. Nothing is ever perfect. You've gotta remember that, especially when you're having one of those really dark nights, where you feel alone, unloved, like no one wants you around. You've gotta remember that other people are suffering, too. That doesn't diminish your's or anything; but it IS happening.
The idea that nothing is perfect is really, really powerful. Or, it can be, if you let it. No matter how hard you work, no matter how successful you are, how many women you sleep with, whatever...nothing is ever perfect. Everything takes work and everything has rough edges, when you look close enough. Never, ever shoot for perfection, ever; just aim to do the best you can do, be the best you can be and experience the best you can. That's all anyone can do.
First time posting a fucking feel but it's been bugging me for the past few months. >Be me fall in love with Japanese girl >go out almost every day/night >basically my dream girl, all same interests and always enjoy each other's company. >got her into hockey and vidya, surprisingly really good at Mario kart >summer comes around and she wants to visit family for a month. >no problems with me but because broke can't come with her. >she comes back hardly ever texts despite us texting almost every day when she was away. >gives me some bullshit excuse that she needs to stay focused in school >removes me from Facebook but later see on a friend's profile she found someone else. >thought I found the one but turns out I was just used. >don't know when I'll get out of this funk.
>>592358620 I feel you man. I was at fucking bottom last year. Drinking myself into oblivion every day was my way of coping with reality. But I was a fucking mess, and I knew it, so I pulled myself up from that shit. I still drink but now I can control myself most of the time. I know I don't ever want to be that person again. And yeah, fuck how one little sentence cam completely bring everything down on you. All it takes is one goddamn second to change your whole life. Fuck I wish I could go back more than anything. My main problem isn't substance abuse, it's not being able to move the fuck on.
>>592358345 You do. You have to be worthy of worth. If you're leaking all these toxic feels, no one will touch you >but my feels stem from loneliness That's the horror of being alive, anon. You just have to figure out how to be worth something, to yourself, then others. I'll leave you with the best advice I ever received. >"Life doesn't get better, but you do."
>be me >dad never showed a lot of affectionate emotion, i pick up on it >still love the shit out of him, never told him this
>last year around this time >dad starts going away for days at a time to the hospital >he's been to the hospital plenty of times, dont think much of it >think hes fine >think he'll come back home some day >dad dies a month later >tfw i regret not saying i loved him
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