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its funny how we take things for granted. like our friends, till either we or they all move away, and were left alone Like our confidence, till you wake up one day and you realise everything about you is fucked. Like your gf, till she finally gives you some lame excuse like shes not "feeling it" ,meanwhile shes been riding some other guy like a new York city bus. moral of the story /b/ enjoy the good times. relish every last minute. All those drunken times with your friends, those long nights snuggling with your girl. Because one of these days it just might all disappear.
>>591917244 Dad's rule. Even though my dad is a huge asshole by nature sometimes. He is a good guy and always came up with the money to keep me up to date with the other kids toys even though we didn't have very much money. When I hit the teenage years things got ugly with me always getting arrested , drugs , abusiving my mother verbally and borderline physically. And he forgave me. Me. The piece of shit I was. And still has infinite love for me that I feel grows the older I get. I still don't understand him alot of the time. His PTSD drives me ape shit. He drinks too much now. But he is always fucking there when it counts and I hope one day I can be half as good of a father as he is. Sorry for wall of text. Had to get it out after that OP picture. I will miss him when he is gone. Wish he had me beofre 48 so we could have more time together " a fathers love knows no limits "
/b/ros I need help. here is some back story, sorry for any misspells, i'm drunk. (also short version) >freshman year at college >fell in love with a girl >she loved my best friend who had a gf >he broke up with his gf and started dating her >I wanted to die, but a girl (lets call her O) came along and saved me >she had a kinda bf but we kina dated for a week >she was a slut but for a week she was my slut >first person I ever connected with truely >she transfered schools >she recently broke up with her kinda bf >she said she might come visit and we could fuck >I text her when i'm sad and drunk and she cheers me up >the past week I have been drunk non stop and can't seem to decide if I should txt her or not >each time it is "tomorrow i'll txt her" but tomorrow never comes >i'm sitting here crying and drunk off my ass about to pour another drink but I still can't txt her >I love her sooo much but we can't be together >I know that but i still just want one more hug from her before I probably end it all tl:dr I'm in love with a slut who is probably off fucking some other dude right now but i am sitting here crying and drinking/smoing myself to my death, or i might just take a quicker route
>>591918789 >be me >be around march of last year >start talking with 9/10 girl on the phone >mutual friends, talk to her sometimes >fast forward to 3 months >start talking to her a lot more >we share a lot of interests >summer comes, lot's of free time >fast forward 2 months, i ask her out to a movie >first time seeing her irl >we go see a romantic movie, day goes great >start talking to her a lot more, seeing her more >really happy all of a sudden, even though everything else in life is going shit >after a few weeks she goes to boarding school 2 hours away >talk to her on skype almost everyday, start getting more feelings for her >flirt a lot, says i love you >eventually she talks to me less, sees me less >feels bad man >always try to see her since she's always really happy to see me >eventually she stops talking to me all together >deletes me on some social networks >destroyed >fast forward 2-3 months >trying to get over her, with school, bad relationship with parents, and failing health, really difficult to do >she randomly adds me back >talk to her for a bit >she seems so different >haven't talked to her since, about a few days >i lost her i'm in love with a girl that barely even exists anymore what do i do
>>591921405 anon you're falling in love with a girl that's using you don't let her do that, she's playing games with you. she's fucking other dudes possibly and bro i know that hurts like a motherfucker. it takes time to heal the wound, but it's for the best. picking up the pieces is hard, but you need to realize that you can't be used like that. she's playing games with you and she probably doesn't even realize what she's doing to you. get yourself out of this, find someone else who's worth your time, because she clearly isn't.
>>591921447 I can relate to this a bit >8/10 girl >became best friends over the course of half a year >fall in love >fast forward 2 years >unable to force myself to socialize with anyone for days at a time >she eventually leaves me its been 6 or 7 months now, and we've talked a few times, but she is so different now. who she was doesn't exist at all, and i think she's entirely moved on, while im stuck on what we had and who she was.
>>591921447 Let her go , anon. You are hurting yourself trying to hold onto something that is no longer. It doesn't make you a faggot , you aren't a beta. Sometimes the flame just dies. Try one more time , just one message or phonecall. See whats up. If nothing changes , let her go. And I cant stress this part enough , when I say ONE more time , it means ONE more time. ONE message or ONE phone call. Anymore than that is just going to cause the pain to be prolonged.
>>591922277 i'm trying man, it takes time and i was almost there until she walked right back in again. i want to talk to her more because it doesn't seem like she's been talking with anyone recently. if it's because i'm looking for something we once had, is it worth trying to find?
>>591921405 >>she was a slut but for a week she was my slut Hah, did you just describe every other chick?
In all seriousness though, why do you want to 'end it all' over a girl? and do you even know her that well?
What >>591922512 said. Now that I think about it, the girl I was o' so in love with when I was 15 sounds similar, and she strung me along and kept my hopes up while sleeping with guy after guy. She also used me as an emotional sponge and I was threatening suicide over her.
>>591922512 the thing is that she is not playing games with me. We both talked about how sadly we can't be together because of distance but i still can't get over her. She is 100% honest with me and even comes to me for advice about the next dick she is chasing. WOW that sounds awful but I enjoy ever single moment I get to talk to her. I love her beyond anything in this world and I would kill just to be close to her but she is soooo far away. She told me that if she didn't transfer schools, we would be dating right now... That hurts sooo much FUCK YOU GOD OR WHATEVER IS CONTROLLING THIS SHIT WORLD why did she have to leave?!?!?!?!?
>>591922935 it's different for you because it seems like you actually had something with this girl. what i had with her was great but it didn't last, and i can't even tell myself it was a relationship.
>>591922942 i know i want to do this, but i don't know what to do if she's gone for good.
>>591923295 what i meant is that she's playing games with your head. she isn't trying to, but what she's doing isn't. if she keeps going to you talking about other men, forget about her. she's using you and you can't let her do that. she may seem perfect and i thought so about a girl for a while, but i realize what she did. you will to. give it time and you'll pull yourself out of the hole she dug.
>>591922935 Are you me? But I think alot of what was making me sick was her problems. I constantly worried she would over dose or crash her car. Worried about what was happening to her mind. Mine just lasted longer. 4 years were great. Something happened to both of us in 2012 but it hit her harder. Then we mutually broke up , we needed to move on with life. And when she tried to come back in her own insecure and subtle way , I was bitter. I cut ties in an angry way. I hope she is okay , but she is probably head to steering wheel in some parkinglot . Barely breathing and definately dead inside. But I can't let that bother me anymore.
>>591924293 thanks anon. I know that i need to move on but its hard becauase she was the only friend i had left. it's been months and i even had another girlfriend after her (that lasted way longer but ended like shit) and I still can't stop thinking about her. I text her WAY too much and every morning after I txt her i apoligize to her for the night before cause im usually way too drunk to txt. EVERY dam time she just says "don't worry about it, that's what i'm here for" I wish she was really here
>>591923653 Brother , you'll figure it out. I'm slowly figuring it out myself. Once you get your sea legs back everything slowly falls into place. Get off the goddamn computer and do something that will occupy your mind and body so you can sleep at night. Instead of laying there thinking about her and replaying scenarios to things that happened that are too long gone to fix like I know you will tonight.
>>591924833 my whole life is shit. >broken family >dad dying of cancer >mom dying of heart disease >sister dying of alcoholism and having no spleen (car accident) >my dream job is completely out of my reach >every girl i have loved has thrown me away like garbage >my only best friend is fucking the first girl i loved and rubs it in my face (also he is my roommate) >only REAL gf i had was using me for sex >broke as shit >alcoholic and drug addict >my so called "friends" only hang with me when they want drugs or booze >any free time i have I spend drunk or crying or both ps was my favorite comic until i realised that the few things i wanted were out of my reach
since this thread is slowly turning into a lost love thread I might as well give my story. >freshman in college >was a nerd in high school >so never got laid >college hit >Imma get laid all the time >figure out i'm pretty much the same in college >go on a trip with dorm, just a few floors >sit next to this 9/10 >hrm... I could tap that >talk a little, she's a vegan (but a cool one) >to shorten this she is a very decent person >always heard that a boy looks for a night out >man looks for the one to wake up to >figured out I am a man, and she's worth it >talk a while, she has a BF, voiced doubts >me being me offer opinion to try to salvage >ends up breaking up anyway >some random guy at a party convinced her to >a little mad I didn't have any effect >even though I am her best friend >nonetheless time is ever marching foreword >become actually really close >express feelings for her >she takes it in stride >ask her out a few weeks later >says no, BS reason >say ok, back to exercising at 10 PM >i was a little upset, didn't want to express >she knew >she started to wander off, looked on brink of tears >asked her where she was going >for a walk >asked if she wanted company >didn't answer, but i went with anyway >we had a real heart to heart >we go our ways, still talking
>>591926326 Cont'd >Christmas season >she's in a gospel chorus >go to concert >i am agnostic so i don't really care >even though i said i'd go i surprised her >break, tells me real reason we can't be a item >she doesn't want a relationship right now >at last! the reason >it's ok by me, have other girl i flirt with >but the self pitier that i am is piteous >she says something like >"at least i won't fall for anyone else" >made it slightly worse >decided that self pity is not worth it
and here i am, sitting up at 2 in the morning trying to think of something else that's not her. problem is, at 2 AM with no one around to see me, no one to put on a good face for, it's mighty hard
>>591926383 This is what i love about these threads, the whole point of these is that we hold each other. despite our hard outer shell as Anonymous. behind all the "kil urslf fgt lel lel lel" we are closer than families. on here we are not Kyle, Jim, or even Gwen. we are all the same. we are all family. we are /b/rothers the most when we share our shit lives. and like brothers we comfort one another.
>>591921405 >>591923295 >>591923489 >>591924988 >>591925852 >>591926749 thanks /b/ros all these were me i'm gonna go have another smoke and then pour myself a drink and game all fucking night. blast some metal and try to smile. another failure of a night where I didn't text "her" but i guess that makes it a success. truly I only need to survive another 10 days and then my fake friends will be back and I will put on my fake smile again. This being alone thing is just bringing out the true me I guess. I love you all /b/ros pce out faggots
>>591928135 I'm agnostic because although i don't believe in a higher power per se i don't deny the possibility that there may be one. plus when you say that you usually avoid the back and forth ignorant argument where they try to prove something from nothing
Can't greentext so just bear with me anons. Be me senior year of high school. Been in theater at school since sophomore year. Changed my life completely. Got me out of my shell. Drive 4 hours with theater troop for acting regionals in Oregon. See girl sitting on a lone bench looking sad. Among the literally thousands of other actors and actresses who are all having a blast (myself included). Don't want this girl (let's call her S) to feel left out. So I sit down and start randomly talking. She smiles. Instant heart-on. We talk almost all day long when not performing prepared skits. She loves EVERYTHING I love. I go to ask for her number expecting to get shot down like always, she asks for my number at the same time. We connect on Facebook and talk. When not at school, when at school, middle of the night. Didn't matter for us. One day I am feeling confident during phone call "S I really like you." "Aww I like you too Anon" "No S. I mean I like you more than a friend. Ever since I met you. You are perfect in every way." Should probably clarify she's a solid 8.5/10. "Oh... Anon. I... I don't know what to say." "Right. Well at least we're friends." Of-fucking-course. "Anon I need to tell you something." She starts crying. "S what's wrong?" "Anon I don't like you as more of a friend," sobs harder. "That's ok. You're still my best friend." Heart break forgotten because best friend is hurting. "I don't like you like that, because I don't like any man like that." Starts to sound like she's pulling it together. "Wait... your a lesbian?" Brain matter currently on every wall. "I've never told anyone before. Please tell me I'm not gonna lose you as a friend because I'm gay." Long pause on my end as I try to gasp for words "That's fucking AWESOME. We can totally talk about even more stuff now!" "Wait you aren't upset?" "Hell naw!" Long story short (too late) S has come out of the closet to me. We talk even more now. Fast forward, we start drifting apart.
I fucking hate having affections for people sometimes. I'm well within reach of having a girlfriend, but not one that I'd want to be with. As it is, "she" doesn't make an effort to talk to me unless I message her first, and I get caught up in that so much that I feel like shit the rest of the day.
Mfw it seems like most of the time, my greatest enemy is myself.
>>591931563 I know the feeling bro.. my girlfriend is amazing, and she is loyal and sweet, kind, caring, she has a lovely family... but as time goes by, im starting to realise that we are not meant to be together... we are not the same people... i know i should break it off now but ive constantly promised her that i will never leave her... i rather see her happy and me sad than me leave her and me be happy and her be sad.
We begin to talk less and less. At first it's just a day or 2 without talking. Then weeks. Months. recently messaged her while having a lot of feels and asked if I could call her because I really needed to talk. Having rough time and missed hearing her voice. "I'm sorry Anon, I'm working on this paper right now for my writing 121 and I really need to get it done. But how about we skype tomorrow night at 6?" "Sounds great S. Can't wait to catch up!" next day arrives and I'm stoked, 5.59 I'm on Skype ready to go. 6.10 rolls around, no S. So I text her. 7.30, text again. Ends up waiting until 1.45 for her. She never shows. Message her in the morning asking what happened, no reply. Fast forward about 6 months. last week I texted her, "how are you S?" "I'm great Anon! You?" Like nothing ever happened. few texts later I ask what happened 6 months ago, waited for you for 7 hours. Still needing to talk to you. No. Reply.
Life feels empty without her in it. She was my best friend, I had no secrets with her and she had none with me. What do /b/ros?
>be me, senior year of high school (called college in my country, but high school to you americanos) >best friend of ages knows some girls we take shared classes with (go to all boys school) >sit with them every day for 2 years >get close with most of them, friend is banging second hottest, tho hottest is a whiny bitch >second hottest regularly flirts/teases with me, cant tell if she is serious or not >get a gf not hottest but 7/10 easy >gf's dad is a drunk who always breaks promises and misses shit >one night arguing with gf over her dad, she wants to cut him off but i try to convince her to patch shit up cos u only get 1 dad >lots of shouting, we both storm off >she tells second hottest, second hottest tells whiny bitch (first hottest) >whiny bitch spreads it around blown out of proportion like the gossipy bitch she is >best friends comes over >wasn't expecting it, beats the shit out of me because apparently I hit gf >gf's dad crashes the car and they both end up in hospital. >not sure if she is going to live, best friend fucking hates me what do I do guys?
>As it is, "she" doesn't make an effort to talk to me unless I message her first, and I get caught up in that so much that I feel like shit the rest of the day.
That feel. I wanted to see how long before she'd contact me first for once.
>tfw it's been 3 weeks and she hasn't bothered trying to talk to me >tfw I've lost any hope of making anything happen >tfw the only girl(who was a high school crush) to show you affection doesn't even care enough to take a minute to message you over FB or text >tfw now you spend your nights just trying to forget about what could've been
>>591933483 I really should. But I need to figure out how to not fucking care if something goes wrong. A way to not mull over all the stupidest shit I do. I'm like my own personal cringe thread a lot of the time.
>last night my ex from highschool booty caled me at 3am >haven't talked to her for about a year >i'm still crazy in love with her >was not awake to answer >we texted all day today >vaguely made plans to hook up tonight >i'm sitting here getting drunk >hoping she'll text me >just so at the very least we can sleep next to each other
would give anything to just hold something while i sleep
So /b/ this is the last thread i view. I am what you call a newfag or more precisely a lurker. I wish i could share my story but its doesnt matter anymore, i have run out of time. I've been lurking for quite some time and i feel this is where i belong. As this is my last thread i wanted to write my first and last message. Today i take my life not because i am a coward but because i am tired. Wish you all the best.Anon signing out.
I only have one story and it's really nothing special but here it goes anyway >be me >awkward, beta grade 9 >girl comes into Geography class late >first day got lost >solid 9/10 >as soon as I see her my heart gets heavy >didn't know it at the time but it was love >lucky me got to sit with her (assigned seats) >she tries to make conversation all the time >never talked much because of awkwardness >towards the end of the semester realize I really like her >want to ask her out or at least talk to her >still too beta >semester ends >never have class with her again
>Fast forward to grade 12 >See her in the library, first time in a while >Heart starts doing all kinds of weird shit >Never felt that way before >Realize it's love >Not as beta as I used to be >decide I should ask her out despite not talking in 3+ years >Before I do, best friend tells me shes dating someone already, for 2 years >Think 'Oh well, come and go' >Didn't realize it was 'her' >Find out a few months after Grad from mutual friend that she really like me despite me being beta >Her weird questions like "Do you have a girlfriend?" or "Have you ever been serious with someone before?" finally make sense >Same friend tells me shes going to school in Toronto for 3 years then plans on moving to Ottawa >Both are over 4 hours away >Went home and cried for the first time since my dog died when I was 12
Still get those feels every now and then, seems to get worse every time. I often have dreams about her and can't do anything about it. If any /b/ros out there haven't fucked up already, go talk to her. Get to know her and make her want to say yes, otherwise you'll regret every second for the rest of your life.
>>591933922 maybe you should care, look at Pink Floyd's the Wall, not caring ended up being the worst thing he ever did in his life. I posted my story earlier, and this is making it easier not to think of her. but i changed with her, i literally said fuck it! it's Christmas i'm not going to drown in self pity. and so far i feel great, and even dealt with the fact that she and i are never going to happen. so change and care about what happens, in the end, you'll be who you want to be
>>591934392 life is worth living, it always it, suicide never fixes anything, it always makes it worse, people DO care about you, just look at this, a thread will now be thinking of you, so if nothing else live for us
>>591934800 Thanks, man. I just loathe feeling complete and utter helplessness. I suppose it is a learning experience, though. Perhaps year of that shit will layer and turn into a thicker skin, at least one thick enough to be okay with what I do with myself.
>be britfag >be 13 >not beta not alpha >not socially awkward >see grill who is in my P.E classes >heart drops >manage to ask her out during class >said yes >she used to send me love notes >massive grin on my face >figured this what love is >this lasted for 2 years >we broke up but still spoke often enough >she ended up dating someone older than me
>final year of school and prom was coming up >i had to ask her to go to prom >I couldn't imagine going with anyone else >she sits next to me in English classes >I told her to give me her arm >I write on her forearm >"Go to prom with me?" >She hesitated but eventually said no >I go to prom with my best friends
Prom was great, ended buying those horses with the sticks on them.
Sometimes you just have to accept that there is a reason for why things happen, just accept it.
My story is nothing special Back when I was young anon. When I still attended elementary I started to be shunned. No one noticed me and when they did they would move away. I was thrown onto the ground by kids and I would be a pussy and not break the rule because if I got in trouble in school it would be the same for home and that is my only safe place. after 4 years of being beaten and thrown around I developed depression. Did not find out until one day I decided to kill myself. No reason to stay around without any social interaction. Me being a stupid fucking kid thought it always would be the same, it was but lets not dwell on that. I was taken to the therapist thrown on medication for two and half years. I get off them finally and then it starts again. Maybe it never stopped, only I just didn't care about it anymore. Now kids would throw rocks at me. Remind you it's middle school I am in at this and these fucking kids for three years would throw stuff at me and the others would stay away. Now in High school The tables at the lunch rooms only have space for eight or so. for the first weeks I sat alone. Then other kids just like me joined more and more, and we are a group of fucking misfits.
Where should I go, /b/? I live in Gresham, Oregon, which is just oustside of Portland. I just feel so lost with my life, since my family hates me, I've never been able to keep a job baca use I can't communicate with people, and the most I have felt to love is jacking off to imaginary pictures of my college crush (whom I never even spoke to). I feel like wherever I go, whoever I meet, whatever I see, I get rejected. What do I do? The rest of my short and pathetic life is in your hands, my true /b/rothers.
>>591934680 I stole a pic from her FB if anyone cares/wants to know what she looks like.
This is about 4 or 5 years old, it's what she looked like when I first met her, and it's one of my favourites for whatever reason. She hasn't changed much since then except she grew her hair out a bit more and looks a bit more mature.
It's been over 5 years since a girl showed me affection before she did on a chance meeting a few months ago.
>tfw your best "friend" who was also your first (unrequited)love hasn't bothered talking to you in over 5 years >tfw I still think about her on a daily basis >tfw I haven't even seen her since I graduated, over 5 years ago >tfw your best friend dropped off the face of the earth one day and couldn't care less that you did as well >tfw you've been a mess the whole time and she's got it together and is happy without you
I have embodied that feel and I could care less to fix it anymore.
>>591938245 I like vidya ofc but I like a lot of shit. I love building computers and doing stuff with tech. I live in Chicago so there are a shitload of people but I live in an area with a bunch of families and older people so there are like no people my age.
A friend online told me a similar thing but there aren't any clubs or anything around here that I could into.
I guess I'll start going to bars once I turn 21 in like 2 months but I don't even have a car so that limits my movement a lot
>>591939014 dude, that looks exactly like my prom pictures, sure you may look beta, but you'll look at that picture in 20 years and say, "god damn we were a bunch of fucking fools, but we were each other's fools" and you'll shed a manly tear and you'll smile the smile you haven't done in a long time (not anon who requested pic)
>>591921447 I know this all too well, anon. Shit happened to me too. It was some of the worst few months of my life when she wouldnt talk to me. when she did again, it wasnt the same. We talked a bit more for only a week and then she was gone again. only this time for a month. We talked again about a month ago. she hasnt said anything since then. Although it still, it hurts less. I still pine for her but not as much.
Don't worry, anon. You'll get there. I hope you have a better one.
Here I am sitting in the dark thinking about you two and how much I love you. How much I owe my life to you, how much I never fully expressed how I feel about you two. I never wanted to make you sad or think about the future, I put away my feelings for you two. I would just look at you two and envy how great you two were, how amazing your souls were. All the pain you two went through is indescribable and how you two dealt with the problems, without fear and always prepared. I could never amount to you two. Especially you father, oh how much I look up to you, you are forever my number one hero, id give anything up for you. And mother, you deserve all the happiness the world can give. I will never forget your youthful smile. Dad, you taught me everything it takes to be a man, and I'm sorry I ever disappointed you, how deceived you felt. I never want to see you shed a tear, especially for me. I feel cold, because I never made you two proud. If only I can confess my true love for you. It would break your knees and make you collapse by the fear, pain, and all the aches I've experienced because of you two. Not that you had inflicted pain, but the pain that I've realized within myself. I love you father, I love you mother, but I can't continue to express how I feel because I'm choking myself, I can't breathe, I want to be in your arms again, as a child, with all the awe that you've felt when you two first held me. You just walk in mother, and asked me to fall asleep already. It's amazing how I can quickly swipe my emotions to save you from crying with me. Because I can't see you do that, not because of me. I said you you 'I know'. And took away the cracking in my voice as I read this out loud. My head aches. I love you.
>>591939682 I was actually a csgo streamer with a good following up until about 3 months ago. Then work started consuming my life and I was going through a crisis with a girl. Online friendships are cool but they aren't enough to sustain me from what I've found.
Your all losers get over your social autism and win at life no you pathetic puss bags would rather sit here and listen to sad storys lucky the sound of your throat full of cock muffles the sobbing BS you Fgts spew out
You fucking faggots need to get some real problems. Everything is about a girl. Are all you fucking idiots still living on fantasy island where two people get married and live happily ever after. Really this shit is pathetic I thought everyone realized this but I guess not. Try having some real fuckin problems like starving or a terminal disease that shits sad. The only thing sad about your girl stories are you fags. Grow up.
>Be me around the beginning of 2013 >Gf of 4 years decides to leave me for pot-selling douchebag >Destroyed >Try to focus on school and work >Bottling up emotions never works >Have nobody to talk to >Reach out to a girl from high school on a whim >She actually replies >Start talking to her >Begin to forget about bitch ex-gf >Ohdemfeels.jpg >Begin to fall for her >Take her out on a great date (Hookah and strip club) >Really start to fall in love with her >Finally gain courage to tell her how I feel >Invite her over so I can tell her >Suddenly stops texting me >Blow it off and go to work (graveyard shift) >Wake up next morning to a phone call from sister >"Anon...she died last night. I didn't want you to find out over facebook." >Devastated. >First person I fall for after bitch ex-gf dies... >Fml
>be me >be 21 >Work at starbucks making like 2 $ above minimum wage >middle class family >Dad is top 10 in the world at his Profession (Chemical Instrimentation) >mother is Nurse >brother Dominos >sister is sack of shit > i sit around playing video games on my days off >never hang out with co workers or friends anymore >go to Twin Peaks(Slut Restaurant) to see good friend who works there >get talking with her >meet at her place >watch a movie >hoping to get some action ( been a year or so) >"just freinds anon" >fuckme.jpg >happens every month for 5 months >different girls every month >buy glock 17 >mom questions firearm >i say is for fun >go to range with friends >life still shit >college failure >about to be homeless >broke as dicks >TL:DR >i have first world problems and im depressed to the point i think about suicide ona daily basis but never actually tried >mfw
She got them in the last year. She is damaged and a slut, but I don't care. If one day she contacted me, I'd give her a shot because I'm a giant faggot who wants nothing more than that. Even if it breaks more than I have already been broken, that temporary happiness would be worth it.
>>591944744 I don't know enough about you or even know you, anon, but please don't. That's all I ask. You don't have you listen me. I won't try to persuade you further because it's your decision. Just know that I don't want you to do that. Just know that I want you to have a little hope for the future.
First off excuse my typing if it's shitty, I've been drinking.
It all started when I was young >be 5, parents fight all the time since we moved to my father's hometown and he is on drugs with his old buddies >Dad ends up in jail and parents divorced >Mom works her ass off to provide for me and my two siblings (older bro and younger sister) >Turn 13 and mom starts to date this guy from her work >He's never had kids and treats us like slaves only to constantly do chores and shit and never bother them >He starts to physically harm me and my bro >My bro moves out and shortly after leaves for college >Couple years pass while dealing with physical fights with mom's bf as he lives with us >Summer of 2011, get diagnosed with testicular cancer >Start going through treatment and it's a very tough time for me psychologically >Mom's bf always gives me shit, saying I'm emotionally weak and that I should just get over it. > He punches me in the face one day when I'm sitting outside crying with my best friend >Mom sides with bf and doesn't stick up for me >I end up moving out and don't tell anyone at school >Walk to school, go to friend's house after school, leave late at night, walk to park and sleep under a slide >All this time I've worked hard in school cause I've always been the smartest kid in the family and want to go to college so I'm not poor like my family was most of my life
>>591921977 This. ive been playing skyrim for a few christmases now,it helped me through those shitty high school years,my sister passing away,my alcoholic mother and fucking crazy father..well atleast his ass is still here ill give him that, and girls that turned out to be something other than what i fell in love with. then there were those fucking conniving bullies that used to fuck with me for the hell of it. anyways every year it seems like eyes on me get heavier and expectations of me become more eminent,my friends are all gone,there out there making their own way and im bumming around with my thumbs up my ass.sigh tbh im scared of going out there,im scared off human contact, i dont want to be judged or analyzed but i gotta start doing something right?thing is ive been in my room so long i dont remember how to deal with normal life i mean ffs i cant even go into a supermarket without sweating like a fuckin cave man,idk what to do,i often find myself staring at the sky hoping i don't wake up tomorrow,i know im pathetic but this is the only place im comfortable bitching in,oh how i miss the good old days
That ship has sailed after 5 years, my friend. She's crushed me before, I have no doubt she'd do it again. I couldn't try to be just friends with her anyways, it will just bring back too many memories I've repressed for so many years.
>be me >like a girl who's way out of your league and is 9/10 >her dad is a renounced artist >she's really good at painting >she likes playing games >starts chatting with her >she confesses that she really likes me >I confess that I really like her too >I meet her in our meeting room >she glances at me >she takes a chair 5 chairs away from me >I see a flash in the corner of my eye >I caught her taking a picture of me >I feel quite good >I ask her out for ice cream next day >she says yes and would love to >from ice cream turns into a movie date and lunch >Play games with her in a store >love her >I confess that I love her 3 weeks after going on 3 dates >she replies "oh god" >starts to change the way she talks to me >5 months of no talking.
i dont know why im posting, or even if i should post it here or not, or how much ill get called a faggot or a nigger. i dont care, i guess i just need to vent.
my girlfriend, love of my life, went home after a scant three weeks together. we're long distance of a year, we were able to spend maybe two months of it (cumulative) in physical contact. her leaving today was the hardest, because shes in a bad place, and no matter what I do, she might kill herself soon.
my dog is getting put down tomorrow, and right after im going back to college to finish my last semester with no idea of what the fuck to do.
i dont know what to do anymore /b/ros. ever since she left, ever since it was decided that the dog is getting put down, its been too much.
if you read this, i hope you smile, honestly. my life isn't going that shitty, i have a good home, a good family, a good life, but each and every one of us comes here for a reason.
i hope you find something better in your life to smile about. i hope you find a way to be happy.
>A friend soon finds out that I'm homeless >He passes it around our group of friends and they talk to their parents, who all know about my shitty situation with my family because I'm always talking about it while I'm at friend's homes >They talk and let me cycle around their houses to stay until graduation >End up having a testicle removed and soon after I'm cancer free >A year passes and graduation is here. I finish 18th out of my class of 500 students. >My hate for my family pushes me to move halfway across the country so I don't ever have to see them again >End up having to drop out of college after 2 semesters cause an annual loan I was getting refused to pay another year cause I had no credit and no co-signer >End up getting a shitty apartment and working full time jobs just to get by >No longer have any friends and just spend my time working, sleeping or sitting at home
So that's pretty much my life. Don't know what my next move is going to be
>then I see my best friend. >the girl who's always been there for me >after 3 months of talking and going to malls >she confesses that she likes me >for a loooooooooong time >I tell her that I really like her too (I really meant it. She's 8/10 and she has a lovely attitude and very sunny) I fall in love with her >to this day. I love her. I really do. >She loves me back. I'm quite happy and fulfilled
I'm telling this story because there's always hope anon. There's always hope. There's always hope as long as you believe there is. As long as you want to help yourself. As long as you want to find that longing of love. As long as you want to. Keep going for it and keep moving forward.
>>591948209 I've actually tried something like that. I'm just bad with getting use to a new routine that I'm not forced to do. I learned some Python cause I heard it was a good place to start but I fell off from learning it. I've actually had a job opportunity at a good company but they needed someone who had good programming skills and my non-tech savvy friend thought since I like tech then I knew how to program so he passed along that I did know how to and ended up getting declined. Maybe I'll give that a try but really I have trying to pull myself away from my computer and get more active and go to the gym so idk, I'm torn.
Thank you /b/, These threads are a nice break from the melancholy of waiting to die and just watching the days go past. It makes me feel again so that I know I'm human. I can feel real emotions rather than just faking a smile while really wondering how soon can I go to sleep imagining I won't have tomorrow to wake up to.
The girl stories are sad, but try living a life where youre addicted to drugs. You know you are, and you know you should stop. But you cant. Thats the worst part. You know youre pathetic but you cant stop. Thats rock bottom. Thats sad.
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