Guys how do I deal with jealousy? I wanna make it work with this girl but my jealousy is out of control.
>3 yrs with 10/10 huge tits slim waist great girl the works.
>she goes overseas to Italy for a 3 week university unit (it's worth double points or something)
>she has a terrible time, the girls are all mean to her, she stops eating, gets blackout drunk, hurts herself. Can't do anything back here but empathise and say I'm sorry it's going poorly.
>she has organised time at a Mensa youth camp thing when the unit is over, before she comes back.
>I hate Mensa - it's full of insecure people who only care about their smartness number. Also like 90% dudes.
>She has the greatest time apparently. But doesn't contact me very much during it.
>First contact I have in a week is seeing an album of photos she posts on facebook of her having fun with a whole lot of the european guys, many photos of her close one-on one, looking almost coupley.
>hurts like fuck
>have fight when she gets back, because one of them posted some comment on her photo calling her babe with a love heart.
>Things are OK for a while.
>end of year, go to Japan together with a couple our mutual (originally mine) male friends.
>One of them is taller than me.
>She and he get along really well. Always walk together. Have staring contests. Private jokes.
>She starts drinking with him and the other guy every night (I don't drink - father alcoholic). After a few nights I say could we do something else because I feel left out.
>once night off, then back to drinking.
>finally get mad walking up a mountain because she will only walk with him. I try dropping back, walking ahead, trying to keep pace - nothing works. Halfway up, she asks me what's wrong. I ask if she could walk with me more.
>She gets mad that I was 'running experiments' on her.
>At the top of the mountain, she tells him I'm mad at her for walking with him (in private - I only find this out later from him).
>This friend starts acting strange because he realises I'm jealous.
>Start talking with gf about why he might be acting so strange. She tells me she has no idea why.
>They decide to get wicked drunk that night at the hostel.
>Everyone drinking but me. Second guy drinking quietly in the corner.
>GF and guy chatting almost exclusively. Try to join in but conversation really revolves around those two.
>At one point my gf actually gets in his bed saying it's much comfier (previously they were both sitting on the floor)
>Soon after she ends up vomiting in the toilet.
>Go comfort her.
>She sends me away, saying she'd prefer 'one of the other guys'.
>this guy was standing outside the door.
>go to get her water.
>when I come back, he's stroking her back as she heaves into the toilet, saying it'll be OK etc.
>thats my fucking job.
>fuck it, sleep in a different bed.
>next day rant: why she doesn't have any female friends and that all her male friends want to sleep with her (probably unfair, but I was hurting)
>flight back, despite being really unwell, has one last beer with him, and falls asleep on his arm with her legs on me.
Any thoughts anons? I feel like I'm going crazy but she doesn't think anything is wrong.
Drop the bitch. So not worth it. She's more than likely cheating on you. Prefers someone else's company to yours. Get your fucking shit together faggot. So many different girls out there. You do have a right to be jealous, but a loyal girl wouldn't do this.
I'm not sure though! Like nothing happened between them - I was there the whole time. And it would be normal friend shit if they were both girls I guess.
They just talked a lot and were very friendly.
I don't know if I have any right to be upset at them.
I was just hoping maybe some anons could give me tips or advice on getting through the nasty jealous emotions.
But like she's allowed to be friend with people. She shouldn't have to always be in my company right?
I mean what if it was me, and I could only ever spend time with her, no making friends.
Although that said, I don't make friends with women because I think it would be rude.
But all her friends are male. Every single one.
She had one female friend but they had a big falling out 2 years ago.
do you think? I kinda like the control not drinking gives me. I don't like the idea of not being in full control of myself, you know.
It upsets me to know she was overseas getting drunk to the point of amnesia. Complete loss of control like that is just not something I would do these days.
Maybe its because she's 3 years younger than me?
She's cheating on you. Your instincts are correct. Yes it sucks. Don't let go of your jealousy and be a cuckold faggot. Your jealousy is actually a natural reaction to your girl being a cunt
yup, you're literally wasting your time here. You can get out now, or just continue in this lame ass, game-playing, relationship until she ends it or you catch her cheating.
She is doing either of 2 things:
She's already looking to move on, but doesn't yet know how to break the news, or isn't sure if she's ready to leave you yet. (Usually this ends in her cheating on you to see if its worth leaving you, testing the water).
Or, you are creeping her out with your insecurities and neediness - and she's trying to pluck up the courage to leave you without hurting your feelings. As soon as she has the courage she'll dump your ass and start banging the new guy ASAP.
Oh, or she is just immature as hell and enjoys playing lame games. In either case your best bet is to get rid of her. If its worth saving, she'll be so upset you'll know its worth saving. If not she is already, or is going to, fuck someone else.
well I've rationalised it thus: she's very risk-averse and terrified of rejection. Males are easier to be friends with because they actively pursue her 'friendship'.
Did I mention she's really hot? And good in bed?
And the relationship has been really good apart from this shit?
Like I love her and she loves me. I just don't know how to deal with this.
Your gf is lying to you and taking Mario's dick
People in Italy are insanely nice. It's not Amerifucks where everyone's just an asshole for no reason.
You do know women lie right OP? She's not having a miserable time. That's what she's telling you so you won't suspect anything.
>doesn't think anything is wrong
Jesus Christ dude, dump the slut
Find a few other chicks to do the friends thing with, and just use yours as the cumcatcher she is. If she doesn't start clamoring to get your attention back, you'll already have some replacements lined up.
I feel like I have no power, because I feel like I care more.
I don't want to leave her, because I really like her. She just keeps hurting me.
The way she tells it, I have no reason for jealousy, because she loves me, and why would i think otherwise.
I've been worried recently that all my insecurities would creep her out and push her away, so I've just shut up a bit and gone running every day and done weights.
I look a lot better but I feel worse than ever.
Its pretty fucked up that she told you to get someone else when she needed comfort. Not to mention the guy she met in Italy wouldn't call her babe for reason. She clearly doesn't care enough to notice you're hurting from her neglecting you for other people. I'd try to get over her OP
Hmm my room mate dated a girl for two years and this started happening.
He would never drink
He'd never go to parties
They had an insanely boring relationship but they were "happy"ish for two years. After that two year mark.. I guess something just snapped. She finally dumped him and told him she'd been partying for the last several months and realized what she was missing.
Maybe you're an insanely dull and boring person and she's realizing what she was missing.
As for jealousy.. what you should have done was made friends with a woman there and did the same. I mean seriously.. as a man in Japan, women literally are pretty much on a leash for you. A lot of Japanese men want nothing to do with them and Japanese women fear they may die out in a couple of generations (true story).
How do you fight jealousy? Ignore her. Let her hang out with whoever. Do the things you like to do with another girl. You're allowed to have friends.
Her reason for the first was that she felt that I was angry at her for drinkingand the others wouldnt be judgemental (I wasn't happy but I wasn't angry).
As for noticing, she has, and we have talked it out. She even apologised for the photos and not contacting me before posting a whole lot of her side-hugging attractive guys for 2-people photos.
Don't try to keep her.
I spent 6 years of my life with a girl who physically looked like what you described. Fuckin 10/10 could be porn star body.
She did the same shit, not to the extent that your girl did, but close.
It'll suck to lose her, and for a long time you'll be upset about it and wonder if you'll ever do better.
Keep working out and find a cute girl with a good personality who doesn't fuck around. You'll feel like a retard for every wanting to stick it through with the current girl.
Just remember that looks always fade. One day you'll be old and nasty. Pick a girl who you can be best friends with that makes you feel happy.
It's easier said than done, and this is one of those things that you'll have to learn from experience before it actually makes sense.
Ditch her now, get past the hurt of losing her or you're going to have to deal with the hurt of her breaking your heart, which will be 100x worse.
Also, ditch that fuck head friend of yours. He's clearly a faggot. Let them be together. It wont last and she'll regret ever fucking around on you.
Stop wanting what other people have. Mould yourself in an image you're own If you are who you want to be no man can ever hold anything over you.
Stop being a pussy.
I've often considered the making friends with other girls thing.
But two problems arise.
1) It feels rude, and like im trashing this relationship further.
2) I really don't like any of these other girls. I really think my current gf is top of the line in looks and personality.
lol bro your girl has already cheated sexually
you're moving on to stage 2: the cluckening where she cheats on you emotionally by displacing you as an object of affection and expects you to take it like a doormat because she already got away with banging euro dudes
Contrary to what a lot of these anons are saying your jealously will implode the relationship if she notices you are freaking out constantly. At the same time the drinking etc in Japan was kind of fucked it sounds like she was getting sick of you and knew even if she was a complete bitch you would just get jealous or clamor for her attention. Calm down and act confident around her, then maybe ignore her a little more then usual and see if she takes the effort to contact you or get your attention.. I think thats a good way to see if there is any future in that relationship.
OK this is good advice. I did this for a week as a test, and she got really sad, and then finally when we resolved things, she fucked my brains out. Dirty anal, cum swallowing, 3 times in one day, couldn't get enough of me.
But do I really want to be playing emotionally manipulative games like that the rest of my life?
Find a girl who treats you like you treat her - the one and only rule for being happy with someone you'll ever need.
You sound like a really nice person who puts yourself over others to make them happy, and in turn get shit on because people take advantage of you because they know all they'll have to do is bullshit an apology and you'll forgive them. The sooner you come to terms with this the better.
Dump her and move on. She's playing the field for sure. She keeps you around because she prefers a real dick as opposed to dildo. Eventually she will trade you up and string you along just in case. Be a man and don't let a piece of ass walk all over your dignity.
i feel for you man, same reason why my last relationship ended, even reading this makes me want to hit a bitch
Your jealousy is warranted because she's made you uncomfortable.
Prepare yourself emotionally for the break up, she most likely fucked one of the dudes on the trip, (who the fuck lets their gf go anywhere alone for weeks lmao)
Shes either already fucked or going to try fuck your friend, he's an asshole too for not having your back.
Think about how fucking quick she'd dump your ass or get bitchy if you spent an entire trip talking with another girl and sleeping in her bed, telling her you prefer the other girls to help you out.
just hatefuck the slut while you emotionally detatch and find yourself another gf, next time dont be jealous, be controlling.
Find yourself another bitch, and flirt openly with her, when your gf sees this, she will either get jealous, or she won't give a fuck, probably the latter, and if so, you have your answer as to what you should do. Dump her.
that sounds profound, but I can't help but feel it wouldn't hold up in a breakup discussion.
it's been over three years. Her family loves me. My family loves her. Everything is perfect except the things in the stories I posted.
I feel like I would at least owe her an explanation.
I know she's less jealous. I've mentioned other girls who have showed interest, and she just says things like 'be careful!' but doesn't get upset. I think she would still give a fuck though.
Give her an ultimatum if you're really so hesitant to break it off. Stop being such a bloody whore or you're gone. Still, I feel like this is gonna end bad for you in the end if you don't end it.
I actually had to construct the whole trip with reversed genders before she actually saw anything worth being sorry for. I sometimes wonder if she lacks a bit of empathy because she is 3 yrs younger than me. I'm 26, she's 22.
She knows something is wrong, but she's a selfish person who is unwilling to change her actions. Look at how she acts when you express your feelings to her. She does things to make it worse. She knows something is wrong and she is intentionally pretending that there is no problem in an attempt to condition you to bottle up those feelings.
She's being manipulative.
If you guys are young she might just enjoy flirting and the attention of other guys. This doesn't really mean she wont cheat unfortunately, that really depends on her. I don't necessarily think its manipulation, you don't need to ignore her or anything.. I just think that you will not be in a position of power (with this comes attraction) or confidence if you appear as a needy and over-jealous guy. it sucks because it seems obvious she is being flirty tbh and who knows what the situation is but your current course isnt going to fix anything. I would have been pretty furious if I was ignored for some other dude an entire hike.
Listen here you faggot nigger... and listen good... Much like the other Anon in this thread, I had a girlfriend for 6 years and she fucking tore my heart out. This story is different, it is more of the after effects if you break up with her.
I loved this one girl to death and she said she loved me, yet she did the same shit yours did. We broke up once the falling out happened and I found out she cheated on me for a year, and it was oddly about a year ago it happened. 2 months later we argued again and she literally DESTROYED my feelings for her, to the point where I treated her coldly when she tried to text me. 5 months go by, the night of July 4th, she texts me a huge 13 page "Come back... I miss you" text and like an idiot I took her back... In about 2 whole months, she and I slowly drift apart since she is now going to university and we almost stopped all communications, so I just assume she is done with me, so I am done with her. Whoever has her now can deal with her baggage, as it is not worth what I went through.
What should I have done?
It's really hard to get her to empathise with me. I feel like I put a lot more effort into empathising with her when she's upset.
But when we're fighting, her strategy is to go super cold, while I'm trying to build bridges to get us emotionally connected again. Which hurts like fuck.
Ok /b/ro, I'm gonna give you some honest advice since I've gone through a lot of this and overcome it.
Let's say she's not cheating on you. From her point of view, you're looking like a needy chode whose constantly jealous and confronting her. She is obviously unattracted to this so might go to other guys to resolve her feelings.
In other words, acting jealous, whether she is already cheating or not, will certainly guarantee that she starts cheating.
You needy to give her some space. Perhaps go talk to soime other girls. Fuck a few if you can. Maybe she will see that you have changed and no longer give a fuck and come running back to you. Or maybe she won't. But who cares, because you have 10 other bitches to choose from.
TL;DR: Fuck 10 other bitches then see if you're still jealous.
But here, I've literally JUST been in your position, and I realize now how fucking blind I was during the relationship, I thought I loved her, and she was the one, and wanted to have kids with her and so forth.
But tough shit, if a girl is making you jealous or creating these thoughts that there is something wrong with YOU, and actually led you to ask /b/ for advise, she ain't worth it, bro. Trust me, the pain will pass in a week or so, at least it did for me.
this is what i did to my best friend (not gf though) who used to be obsessed over me but i told her i'd rather be friends (actually from all the shit she told me of ex bf's) after i told her i kinda liked her she went nuts and kept asking me why i wouldnt date her. totally had a falling out with her and i moved and we slowly stopped talking then talked again and now i kinda purposely have shit conversations with her for her sake
>Contrary to what a lot of these anons are saying your jealously will implode the relationship if she notices you are freaking out constantly.
Jealousy only destroys a relationship when it doesn't get expressed. When you tell your significant other how you feel then they either try to help alleviate your feelings or they ignore it and get pissy. People get jealous, that's just reality. If you care about the person you are making jealous then the natural empathic response is to help them through it. If you just get upset that they're expressing emotions that they have no control over then the relationship will implode because of YOU.
It would be another story if OP was just brooding in his jealousy and not saying anything, but that isn't the case.
Emotional comfort is a key part of relationships. If you're feeling negative emotions from the relationship, and you express that to her and nothing changes... then that is a solid reason to break up.
You need to make her realize the severity of the situation, if you haven't already. If nothing changes, then you have to move on because you will never find a comfortable emotional place within that relationship.
Well I will say if you plan on being together for a long time then sometimes when you guys get in arguments she will have to be the one to help rebuild the bridges.
Yes, but guys can implode relationships when they are literally just freaking out over jealous stuff constantly. I'm not saying don't express it, he should seriously express his concerns but if he is constantly a jealous wreck then the relationship will bomb.
Dude, he knew what was happening. And so did she. He's a bad friend for letting that happen, if it had been me and she asked me to comfort her while she was sick, I'd be like I'll go get your boyfriend for you, that's his job. That's what a real friend would do, this is not a real friend.
Is this still going on? I really think you should stop being friends, or atleast talk to him about it
I say she doesn't think anything is wrong, but that is an exaggeration. I think she doesn't realise how bad this has been affecting me. I try very hard to communicate, but she often closes up when we talk about emotions like that, which makes it hard.
And she feels guilty, I know. She has apologised for everything I have been upset by.
>who the fuck lets their gf go anywhere alone for weeks lmao
Well she's a free person. She would let me go.
She's currently on a conference overseas again, for 10 days. Sucks that it happened to be right when I was starting my new career - a stressful time, but I guess she didn't know the exact time I would start it when she applied.
OP. Think. Who is she putting first? You? Or the other fags she's been downright flirting with? Obviously she would try to be accommodating to your feelings if she truly cared about you more than her trivial friendships.
Ok well here are the facts.
1. You asked her to do many things to make you comfortable that she has not done. but also it sounds like you can bring up these insecurities of yours without attacking her. so you might be pushing her away. But neither what you asked what she did is so egregious that its relationship ending. But the fact of the matter isthat it made you uncomfortable and she did it anyway.
2.the whole Facebook comment thing says to me that she is not standing up for your relationship.
Trust is two ways and it sounds that you are a little hyper sensitive. it also sounds like your self worth is a little low. I have low hopes of this relationship really working out(sorry). you have to understand being consumedby jealousy with absolutely no domination tends to be a big turnoff for girls. also the not drinking thing can be a big hurdle because a lot of people find it bonding (I know I am an alcoholic in recovery). and the only hopes of this working out in my eyes is if you get away from the codependency and just let her be herself otherwise you're just going to push her farther and farther away. I don't know if you know this but what you're describing is very codependent behavior and it's not healthy. you being the adult child of an alcoholic it's not uncommon in the slightest. Ok I'm done. I hope that helps.
Shut up retard. People who have alcoholic family members know what they're talking about... whereas you're just being a stupid fucking faggot who thinks everyone should drink.
I only really hang out with him on Skype to play games, and meet him occasionally.
There's no real danger of an affair.
Although they do snapchat each other a lot and he has conversations with her without including me, which drives me crazy.
Aye. It is never worth the pain. As long as I can change one person's future for the better so they can get out of a terrible relationship, I will be happy overall. No one deserves to suffer what I went though. I can even make a list of what I would rather do than get back with her, everyone can feel free to join me in this.
I would much rather drag by balls across a 100 mile long field of barbed wire, salt, broken glass, Battery Acid and metals smelted to the point of melting than to ever get back with her.
I would rather stick a porcupine spike up my urethra than get back with her.
I would rather be eaten alive by chickens than to go back to her.
I would rather shove huge wooden unsanded, splinter covered dildo where the gain goes with the shaft up my ass than get back with her.
Anyone got any other good ones?
We're being honest, you're just blind and only want to hear what YOU want to hear, not what the truth is. You want us to reasure you that it's nothing and that "all girls do this, they're just being friendly" Well, it's not true. She's a cheap slut and your friends a douche.
>It's really hard to get her to empathise with me.
Dump her. Seriously, if she can not empathize with men then she is a whore who is not worth having a relationship with. She will never make an effort to actually understand male feelings, and you do not want to deal with that.
Run the fuck away.
Somebody worth being with won't want to put you in a situation where you need to feel this jealous. There is a good chance nothing is happening, but her behavior is still alarming, and I understand your jealousy.
Also your "friend" isn't worth shit. If my buddy's girl was hitting on me, I would be offputtingly friendly, and keep her at bay, not perpetuate the game she's playing.
I'm guessing you guys are under 25, because you both seem immature, which is fine; we all were at some point. I would suggest talking to her, but a lot of what you're feeling will probably go over her head. If she's worth it, ride it out and wait for her to grow up. If not, it's probably best to move on.
hmm. But I am trying to get on top of it.
I know all about the insecurity and jealousy being a relationship killer. That's why I am trying to get it under control. Getting fitter has helped somewhat.
Nah I don't think so. They just send pictures of their pets back and forth (they both love animals).
No I appreciate input but those posts were just calling me bait.
Yeah I worry that she's a covert narcissist.
I kinda am a jealous wreck. I try and hold it in, then eventually she twigs something is up, and we have a big emotional discussion and I feel like a loser for not just being able to deal with it on my own. She does seem to care its just... not enough for me? IDK.
I assume she liked the attention. She has said she doesn't mind girls flirting with me because she doesn't mind me getting a little attention. But I don't feel the same way.
And I don't want to come off as controlling by saying she can't be friends with this guy.
Yeah the more I re-read the OP stuff the more I think she is just being a bitch. Getting into bed with another guy and saying its comfier.. lawl
Its not about a lack of empathy, its that you're a bitch she can walk all over.
When you criticize her behaviour do you ever bend her over your knee and spank her?
Do you ever exercise your authority as a man?
Do you ever give her the ultimatums of what she can and cannot do when she is in a relationship with you?
Im sure you think all these things sound douchy or like an asshole, but its biologically what people respond to, she needs to be led so she doesnt end up a directionless whore, sounds like she's going down that path already if she thinks she can mess around with guys in any way while she has a bf
It does look bad, doesn't it. I really do believe she hasn't done anything though. We've had big talks about all these problems, and I've gotten her perspective on everything.
She just never realises when guys are flirting. She just thinks everyone is being friendly.
She has crushingly low self-esteem, so she doesn't believe anyone could be truly interested in her. It's enormously frustrating.
fuck what everyone says and fuck what your girl and friend says, you don't have time for that shit and you don't drink. which is a great thing.
dump that bitch man, she obviously acts like a slut and has seen some dick in between man.
you op you are a boss and you don't have time for bullshit. do you and find what you like and suits you the most so you don't have to deal with this any longer. besides you only have one life and would you want to spend time wasting away with that bitch playing games? Shes obviously immature and oblivious to herself. especially if she has a drinking problem.
I was lead on by a girl just like OP is describing.
>Tells me she has feelings for me but isn't ready cause of just breaking up with bf.
>she then acts like I should be doing stuff with her like walking her to class and texting her 24/7, hugging and being all relationshipy
>no anon I act like this with all my friends
>I'm not ready for that yet
>we can go back to being friends right?
Holy shit OP gtfo of there. Seriously. Keep exercising, get massive and the confidence will come with the muscle. When fit literally throw her to the curb. Literally. Like actually do it, maybe it will fuck up her face a bit and that combined with the realisation you don't need her anymore she will stop being an international bike. She is the worst kind of girlfriend and you're in the worst kind of relationship. End that shit right now and find someone else.
End it she's fucking horrible, get fit find someone else.
THIS. I lived this. Anon here is 100% accurate and you should listen to him. I dated a girl for 4 years and she ended up cheating on me with a sniveling piece of shit who kept hanging from her cunt. If she is hanging out with another guy and he is giving her attention, hang it up. It's over. Or you stand up like a man and take it all back with some balls.
Bro jealousy is alright in some circumstances, this being one where it doesn't matter. Dont trust me or any other anons if want, but she definitely has cheated on you already. Excuse the fedora but most women act on emotion and will rationalize things (such as cheating) out as a passing or fleeting desire, or whatever the case. They're very fickle. Dump her while you can, because her dumping you will make it even worse. You'll be able to look back on this with confidence instead of pain and spite.
It's funny OP, all throughout this thread you've been doing nothing but defending this girl of yours. In a few months after she dumps your ass for being too beta you'll look back at this thread and realize how stupid and blind you were
I feel like I owe her more than an eviction.
I'm living near the hospital ill be working at this year, she's staying back in our apartment. I'll be coming back on weekends.
If I kick her out I won't be able to afford to keep the apartment, and it'll suck.
People think I'm a massive beta but I actually want this to work.
I'm plenty attractive, and I have a good salary and prospects etc.
I just feel like being distant and alpha like I was when she first met me is inappropriate in a long term relationship. Like it feels rude.
Aren't you supposed to allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable in these things after a while?
>I really do believe she hasn't done anything though.
You're a fool. Fast forward three weeks and you'll be making a thread about how she cheated on you and we'll all tell you how obvious the signs were.
>She just never realises when guys are flirting.
>she doesn't believe anyone could be truly interested in her.
you are going to ignore all of our advice, and she is going to dump you and reveal shes been cheating for a year or something. maybe one day shes come back to you if you just move on right away, and youll take her back to have the same shit happen. about once a week someone humors themselves on here complaining how even though there are all these dick pics on their gfs phone, ones that look a lot like theyre in their best bros apartment, they still have faith in their gf even if it is a little shaky, and they hear stuff the dont want to hear. A month later they come back to complain about how women are sluts and they were cheated on and all this baww thread fodder. Ditch her, block her number, move away.
>even though you won't
Yeah well I really don't want to. Are there things I can do besides completely cutting her out? Cos I want to see if I can make this work, and nothing concrete has happened yet that would make me walk.
Or, oooorrrrr, what if... WHAT IF
she's lying :ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Ouch, that is a painful one... It is the typical female bullshit though. One thing I must say is that when it gets to a certain point for any person, at one point you will fell like you would sacrifice yourself to let them live, but after so long you would rather let them die as you watch and laugh... maybe not laugh or watch them die, but you would essentially do nothing to help
I didn't even need to finish the second fuckig post. Now, again, I didn't finish it, nor do I need to. But your girl is giving off enough signs, to where it's obvious she's being very untrustworthy and not acting as though she's in a comiteed relationship. Now she might not be cheating, I don't know, but the way she's going about things, she might as well be. I don't know what you're going to do about this, Im not going to give you advice because I don't knew what you're like. But, if it was my girl...we'd be done. Whatch yourself op, things are not going to turn out he way you like all the time. Sometimes it's easier to give up than to push through the hurt and hope for the best. If she is the kind of girl I'm thinking of, it'll never get better for you. Does she want to get married someday and have kids? Watch out OP.
This isn't a beta provider situation. We're both going into the same field. I don't have to buy her shit to keep her.
I really do just think she's oblivious and maybe a bit immature.
Lol for me her convince you you're in the wrong. I bet she told you that if it was a female it would be the same. You're a lost cause and you're just looking for someone to validate staying with her. You need to dump her. End f story.
it will never get better. I dont think you are understanding this. It will never get better with her. The longer you hold off, the more it will hurt. Move on now. Im not the only one who thinks this. Weve all been here before
I am poor and insecure so I made a girl I am attracted to sexually be in a monogamous relationship with me. Now I am dealing with the consequences of my actions. Comfort me /b/. Tell me everything's going to be ok.
You're working in a hospital. So med school. So science education. Right?
Human brains are not wired for lifelong pair-bonding. Read some studies. Romantic love lasts, on average, about three years, plus two per child (hence the "seven year itch"). I'm sure it was great in that time, but that's all you get. She's done. Be done with her.
Nigga you gotta ask her what her priorities are, and if she's really invested in this relationship. She won't even talk to you about emotional shit? The fuck? Relationships aren't all about fun and games, sometimes you need to have serious conversations and to discuss the relationship and if she can't do that then what the fuck are you doing with this bitch? Pull yourself together OP, talk to her. If she won't have it, MAKE her have it. Tell her that if she loves you, she'll hear out what you have to say.
tl;dr: stop being so beta, man the fuck up and talk to her
Yeah, well, if you want to stop feeling jealous that your girl is fucking around, you need to either stop her fucking around or find another girl. Or hit yourself in the head until you're into cuckolding.
so what, i should say
"hey babe, I think we're done. I don't think you're really in to me anymore, and that's normal. Peace."
then go find another girl to fall in love with until her 3 years are up too?
nigga I haven't even read any studies on it and I already believe you. Whenever I hear people talk about their relationship ending or drifting apart, plus from experience, it's always been after about 3 years. It's strange.
There's nothing wrong with being jealous. Contrary to what society believes, it's a natural and appropriate response to losing something of importance to you. It only becomes a problem when it consumes you or is rooted in irrationality.
The fact that your girlfriend was spending more time socializing with other men and telling you to go away when you try and comfort her would make anyone jealous. Try talking to her about why she feels the need to exclude and ignore you. If you can't work out a solution, dump her and move on because it sounds like she doesn't really care about you.
Really bad sentence breakdown. Doesn't work.
It is. It hurts. It's designed* to. The way you get over it is by moving on and finding someone else. Then when that relationship fails, you do it again, and again, until you get trapped into making people for a few decades.
That's a good idea, don't just straight up dump her, give her another chance but this time be more alpha. Wait a bit, and if she goes back to these same skanky habits then you walk, and you never look back.
yeah but hang on. She wouldn't leave me if I walked with a female friend. She'd probably feel a bit down, but she wouldn't go crazy.
The bed thing wouldn't happen, and I think that was rude, but still I think it wouldnt be an instant breakup from her.
>brings up "the patriarchy"
>calls someone a tumblrite
she's not trying to seduce though, she really is clueless. She honestly thinks she is unattractive.
AND she has been making an effort to make female friends since I said it's not fair to me to only have male friends. So she isn't just ignoring me.
It is true that the best most sincere apology I ever got was when I looked right at her and said "frankly, I deserve better".
Hahaha retards who cite the Internet and statistics. Listen up faggot, lay me lay soe thing on you that might blow your squirrel brain. My whole family is alcoholic. True story, my mom and her husband drink form 10am to ? My dad, Jesus man, his whole room is full of alcohol bottles to the brim. Now me, yeah, I like to drink at parties and cut loose. But guess what, I also DON'T need it. I've gone three weeks without a drink of alcohol next week, who know, if there's a party sure! If not, ill live. It's not always a genetics thing retard. It's really all about self control.
Remember to do what your gut tyells you. /b/ can provide you with some decent advice and good ideas, but don't straight out do whatever the fuck /b/ wants. Go with your gut and do what you feel is best. I feel that you should give her another chance after you talk to her, argue with her or even have a fight with her if that's what it takes to get her to listen.
just remember, this is the shit she does right in front of you
go ahead and grovel, express your feelings, show your vagina, but what you are describing is fucked up
be prepared to bail out
Well you can do three things. Get an actual girlfriend and stay determained, get yourself a trap/tranny, or stick to your hand. Granted I personally would stick to hand than go to a trap/trenny but it is different person to person, so stay determained.
i was trying to be blunt here but the honest resoning is that you dont need a reason to end a relationship you arent happy with. Dont pretend you are either, weve been there too. She isnt being fair to you, and jealousy is tearing you apart. Her behavior and your reaction will end the relationship in a very painful way. Pull the plug now.
She wants a future with me though.
I know she thinks about children and how our careers would go and shit like that.
It doesn't make sense that she would be after other guys.
ALSO I should mention although this guy is taller than me, I am more attractive. And in a better job.
this is from a couple weeks ago.
I'm not just talking out my ass.
Get some female friends. See how quickly she flies off the handle. If she's your only source of female attention, then no wonder she feels like she can fuck you around with impunity.
Nah I think that would just kill the relationship.
I think I should do this.
I got her to pose for a thread bragging about big tits/small waists. Yeah she lurks though.
...and yet it doesn't feel like she's trashing the relationship with her actions? you're letting her walk all the fuck over you... and you should stop that shit. dr. phil mode activated.
I agree, that's why I'm trying to get on top of it.
What reason do I have to tell her to stop other than 'I don't like it because I'm insecure'?
Like if I have a problem, it's because I'm insecure no?
So maybe I should just pretend not to care?
Eh the sports bra hides the 28FF tits.
oooh that almost... fat?
Her BMI is like 18.
So. What do you like besides her looks? That seems to be a constant you keep coming back to. Pics of her fit bod, taking about her huge tits, etc. Does she have any other traits you find deserving of your affection?
yo OP give me your girl's number, so that when you fuck this all up I can give it to her good and she can remember what it's like to enjoy life again.
>Nah I think that would just kill the relationship.
It's dead allready.
If you feel this way, no matter if it has a basis in reality, it's time to end it.
But reading the story, you do have a good reason to feel that way. End the relationship before you mess yourself up even more.
Whelp, good luck op. I guess some people just need a real life experience before they actually understand what's really going on around them. When she does break your heart, /r9k/ is ><>>>>><<<<that way, because I don't want to FUCKIJG see you're pathetic ass here again.
lol... fucking troll thread confirmed.
either that or you're the hugest shithead ever. nobody who wasn't manipulated like goddamn crazy would ever believe that shit. congratulations. you're a dumbass.
I second this, but we all know some faggot will get the number and he will either ruin it, start early or make the woman kill herself, with the last being some form of entertainment on here. Either way, it isn't worth giving because of that one faggot who will ruin it all.
She's a medical student, going into a field I respect. She's very smart. She is kind and thoughtful (most of the time).
And she is interesting in a whole lot of ways.
She cares about weird shit I used to think was dumb, but these days I see the point. (She's a bit of a hippie).
She's creative when she doesn't handicap herself by saying she's shit and can't do anything.
She's very funny, and I love her sense of humour and just hanging out with her.
It's fun talking to her, and we have good discussions about lots of things.
She loves me and I can usually feel it. She supports me when I need help, and lets me support her when she needs it.
She doesn't judge me for the stupid shit I do or care about (vidya etc) and is considerate of my independence.
Oh and travelling with her is great fun. I have been all over the world with her, and previously I wasn't big on travelling.
She has also really helped me a lot. I was in a very dark place 3 years ago, and over time with her I have gotten much better and function much better in society now.
She is a very caring and kind person.
She can just also goof and not realise she's being flirted with/flirting.
This isnt shit. It's a few things that happened that made me feel bad. I don't think she did any of it deliberately, and I have mentioned that she apologised for every single thing.
What ive gathered from this thread
>career prospects and money
>has pulled a "10/10"
>is trying really hard to keep a girl who makes him feel like shit
move on broski, sounds like you will be just fine after a month or two
Okay, good. Cuz if it were just for looks, I'd say drop her.
However, I can honestly say I've been in a similar situation. Not some jackass from Italy, but my best friend in high school. I could tell my gf had a thing for him, they worked in the same place, had many of the same classes, Etc.
This shit went on all through high school.
Weirdly enough, we all ended up at the same college.
She eventually confirmed she had feelings for him, said they had been "talking" about "what if" they were in a relationship.
Fuck that shit.
We broke up, I told her to try it out with him (even thought was so jealous I almost had panic attacks when I saw them together).
Two weeks later, I met a girl from Texas who looked quite similar to my ex, but we got a long way better.
I eventually broke up with the new chick, but i finally saw through my ex, even though I loved her a lot. I saw that she wasn't loyal, and even though she claimed to love me, she didn't really mean it.
Take a break. Maybe don't break up, but you should find some friends to hang with, ladies, and see if your feelings change.
OP she was experimenting with getting attention and being attractive to other guys. She probably got it out of her system and since she acknowledged and appologized for it it's time to move forward and not dwell on it.
At this point it's time to act like a man and not a chump and act like you own that pussy. If she acts up again, you throw her apology out the door along with all her shit.
Relationships are sad.
Sad in a way that nothing lasts forever.
I think you can understand; one day you're lovey dovey and years later it feels like the worst of shit.
It's sad that it can't last, that no-one worth nothing, feels bad.
I hate this fact.
Why? Why does it has to be like this? Why why why.
>Not realising what flirting is
>OP being manipulated because she knows he's not as smart
>Ask for another guy to comfort her
>Not seeing all the red flags
>Will take her back when she fucks other guys and apologizes
I've been in a recent similar position to you. no real major concerns but enough small things to make you question the relationship. regardless of whether she has or hasn't cheated on you, she's clearly expressed some personality traits that seem to clash with yours. Leaving her will be the best decision you have ever made, and you may only realise this after the grieving process but i can guarantee you theres a light at the end of the road. Im still in the process of completely moving on.. it takes time and there will be moments when it gets really hard but you need to be a man, stick by your feelings and push through. If its meant to be, it will be and time will show you that. For now though.. your trying to justify her when you should because your blinded by the "love" you share.. don't make the mistake i did by going back either.. it just drags the process on longer than it should be.
then why can he see what's happening and you can't?
You want to know how to get over jealousy? You stop putting yourself in situations where you expose yourself to vulnerability. Your girl making you feel like shit. Shrug her off and do something that makes you feel more in control.
Stop whining about it.
Dude, I been there. Me, my girl, and I went to the zoo. We were walking, and it was like they were the couple. That's what it was. When I went to work the next day, they were fucking behind my back. I only found out a year later after I caught her fucking another guy and this "friend" said, "Oh yeah, she's a whore. She even fucked me man." What the fuck?
Get out of there man. Just get out. Give any of your guns to a close friend where you can't access them. I almost killed the last "friend" with my rifle. The only thing saved me from homicide was me forgetting to flip the safety off. I swear man, everything was black except my sights and that fuckers head. I wanted a red mist and I nearly got it.
inb4 no-one dumber than me.
I really think I need to pull back and see if she values the relationship.
When I was distant for a week (not entirely deliberately) I was really the best we'd ever been afterwards, but it didn't last.
Hey I didn't say I was wise. Just wiser than her.
>You stop putting yourself in situations where you expose yourself to vulnerability. Your girl making you feel like shit. Shrug her off and do something that makes you feel more in control.
I have found that getting back into making music makes me feel better. Like it helps with the lowered self-worth this shit it making me feel.
I feel you. I found out my ex cheated on me when she wanted to have me take her to a pharmacy across town (where no one knew her) and the pregnancy test came out positive.
She FORGOT we hadn't had sex together yet. I broke the guys nose in two places, was arrested and had to break up with her at the police station.
Bitches ain't shit but hos and tricks.
>>I hate Mensa - it's full of insecure people who only care about their smartness number. Also like 90% dudes.
>>She has the greatest time apparently. But doesn't contact me very much during it.
>>First contact I have in a week is seeing an album of photos she posts on facebook of her having fun with a whole lot of the european guys
never heard of a mensa train before. hmmm... learn something new every day, eh fellas.
but yeah, she's on the hunt if she hasn't actively had 20 other dicks in her. you should start looking too, because it's over. she already has it in her head that she can do better than you - smarter, taller, more drinky... etc.
I guess. Definitely the one I've fallen hardest for.
I wish more drinky wasn't a thing that might count, but you could be right.
I'm not a bad dude though, I'm definitely in her league, at least these days. I used to think she was too good for me.
Oh no nothing like that, she wanted me to help pay for the abortion - which I made the other man agree to do sort right before I punched him.
funny you should ask! She married her boss, whom she was fucking and she got fat and had a very ugly baby with him. Also her mother died from brain cancer so there is a chance she might too. Ended well I think.
OK it's OP and I left something out. Her relationship before me, she cheated the dude with someone we both now know.
It still makes me really jealous when they have anything to do with each other.
She recently voted him into a position that will see her working with him in a uni society she runs.
Makes me real mad.
I rationalise it that she was desperately unhappy in her relationship, and in her mind was already broken up.
She had already tried to break up with him but he didn't ...let her? somehow. So she went out and had sex with this guy.
She was still 'in a relationship' with the ex when she got drunk and came on to me at a party too. She wanted to have sex with me but I told her I wouldn't while she was still in a relationship (I kinda was too).
OP if you truely wanna test to see if she really wants you just bring up that you think you two should see other people and don't fight about it, Make sure you do it without fighting about it. That might put her in the place you want her to be in if she really wants to be with you bro
Oh no. The murder was premeditated. If not a gun, I would have gotten a knife. But I didn't think of it. There was only two things rolling through my head. Grab the gun and shoot him and her. Rage is a powerful emotion man. Adrenaline was coursing through my veins.
But i will say it is easier to kill with a gun than a knife. Pull trigger, dead. Its too easy.
yeah good point. I've thought about it. Then I stop thinking about it, because I realise I'm a huge fucking doormat. I want to believe I'd walk.
But I know I don't want to lose her.
>What reason do I have to tell her to stop other than 'I don't like it because I'm insecure'?
>Like if I have a problem, it's because I'm insecure no?
>So maybe I should just pretend not to care?
All humans are insecure.
Something making you unhappy or uncomfortable due to insecurity is valid, dude. She doesn't have to agree with that but she does need to fucking respect it.
Like, if someone is insecure about something, no matter what the fuck it is, you don't fucking push at that insecurity.
if your girlfriend is kinda chubby, and is insecure about it, you don't make comments about her weight in a disrespectful way, even if it's true. because that's faggot shit.
Ahahaha. Although I don't wish anything bad for my ex's mother. I wish it on her father though. What an ass. I will tell you that I threw away her birth control pills and poked a hole in all of my condoms I had. Left them there too. I hope the cunt gets pregnant for that retard.
nah I'm still here. I do need to leave soon though. I'm getting lot's of good ideas. And I'm not just ignoring the 'leave her' responses. I just need to give something else a shot first. I've had a lot of good times with this girl.
I guess I just need to HTFU huh?
Ah well, i'll be working away from her as a doctor this year (was a student last year)
and I'll have more money and probably more female attention. We'll see how it goes.
Hey everybody got problems. Megan Fox probably cries herself to sleep in her silk sheets cos her thighs are too fat or some shit.
I've been in your place too probably.
I first came to /b/ in 2008 when I was a fat pathetic piece of shit who couldn't get the time of day from a girl.
oh hey here's a reward for sticking with me though. This is her.