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General Lifehacks thread.
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 235
Thread images: 113
General Lifehacks thread.
/B/, i want to savagely fuck my ass until I cum.
Bad news is i don't have a dildo. What are some things i can use as a substitute.
May use the handle to a hairbrush.
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>>591774810
If I can't find kindling in any outdoors situation, how the fuck am I expected to find Doritos?
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>>591775159
Why would you go camping without snacks?
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>>591775284
This man has his priorities in order.
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>>591775566
>triple dubs
>thats why theyre called strawberries
based
>>
Well, I'm out of them. Nobody wants to help me fuck my ass?
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>>591774810
>You can use your hand to slide the skin of your penis up and down to get pleasure without a woman.
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>>591775900
Absolutely not
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Most of these so-called lifehacks are from the minds of thousand autist faggots. They either fucking stupid or they give you solutions for problems you never had.

I mean who the fuck puts frozen grapes to their wine? Why do you want to put anything frozen to your wine idiot?
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>>591776149
Iniciate dump
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>>591774810
What the fuck is /B/?
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>>591776418
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>>591776570
i missed these threads
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>>591776386
As shown in this one.
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>>591776418
>>591776570
Not life hack, just infographics
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>>591776629
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>>591775023
or just fucking pour it there
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>>591776686
those are lifechacks, this is an infographic
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>>591776790
holy kek
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>>591775900
Carrot dawg, just zap for 20 or so sec until fridge frostiness Is gone. Can shape them if you like.
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>>591776686
>>591776973
but i also have tons of those
>this is now a Lifehack and Infographic thread
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>>591776386
Some cheap wine gets better when cold.
Some people like their wine with ice to chill it down, gets rid of the tannins and hides the sulfur used to sanitize the casks before filling.

Ice will however dilute the wine, frozen grapes doesn't and will also act as a nice garnish.

The best solution is of course to just buy quality wine instead.
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>>591777130
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>>591775566
but you get rid of a ton of strawberry
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>>591777246
you could also use these frozen grapes to cool whiskey?
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Alright, I'm of to fuck my ass with a hairbrush.
See ya guys later.
Captcha: Anonour time.
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>>591777412
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>>591774810
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlA_YXDm9bg
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>>591777509
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>>591775284
why the fuck would you go camping without kindling?
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>>591776790
Can't add ice without watering it down then. Though if you're American, you probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
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>>591776973
Showing how to tie a tie is not a life hack.
A life hack would be to pre-tie your ties so you don't have to tie them.

Making a burner is not a life hack, it is just information about how to make a burner. Pre-making the food so you don't need a burner is a lifehack.

>>591777130
Post them!
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>>591775023
>drinking beer with a straw
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>>591777455
I guess.

There are some pretty neat whiskey rocks (actual rocks cut into cubes) you can buy though. They look quite nice and hold the cold for a long time.
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>>591777637
maybe I like to party
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>>591777877
mmm i was thinking of buying those
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>>591778002
would recommend, whiskey stones are much better at keeping cool and don't water it down if you still want it strong
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>>591777879
emergency purposes, say your stuck in a urban area in a economic collapse, you happen to have doritos at your disposal
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>>591777703
not him, but who the fucks drinks beer with a straw?? Have you tried it?
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>>591778404
yeh you don't really drink beer to enjoy the flavour, well i don't atleast i just like getting fucked up
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>>591774810

>pancakes

Or you can use a large soup spoon and learn to aim

>bread

2# so you crush the top part instead, congrats

>doritos fire

In what emergency situation would I want to light fire while I don't have anything to make it work but doritos?

>icecream

you are fat

>oreos

I guess this is an american people thing, can't really describe my feelings about this

>cookbook holder

You can't memorize a few steps from a recipe? Or you can't read it from the table every few minutes?

>frozen grapes in wine

If you don't know how people drink wine, don't force it.

>muffin bbq shit

Well this might work but I think you'd have to wash a more complex container, might be more work
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>>591775176
Tried this. Increases the sound by 2% at the most
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>>591775023
Great method for alcoholics.
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>>591778404
Nope, never. I'm more of a rum guy than a beer guy, myself. Pic related is my go-to for combination decent taste and affordable price.
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>>591778661
king of plebs
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>>591777246

or you know, if you have a freezer maybe you can put the glass in there for a bit
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>>591778663
its a hypothetical situation
>>
>corn

Frozen corn is inexpensive, but this might work if you want to use your own corn from your garden.

>warm pizza on heated seat

again, you are fat

>>591774971

fatty again

>>591775023

why would you do that?

>>591775176

doesn't work, also it looks retarded

>>591775284

Kinda works if you don't like the look of your furniture

Also why would I go camping if I can't make fire?

>>591775350

fat


>>591775409

this is ok but the cables might get damaged

>>591775519

you are fat

>>591775566

So instead of a proper bite without the green parts you fuck around for minutes with a straw and make a mess

>>591775656

Hey, I can improve shitty food by adding more ingredients to it! L I F E H A C K E D

If you have time reading and learning this shit, maybe you can learn how to cook cheaply.
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>tfw no activated almonds

anyone have the lifehack.jpeg for it ??
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>>591776769
This actually sucks. Tried it and it feels horrible
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>>591774810
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>>591778879
Being retarded must be the hereditary gene your family line can't overcome.
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Cut the corner off of a plastic sandwich bag for a makeshift funnel
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>>591780124

which one hurt your feelings bro?
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>>591779565
not the pic itself, but here ya go
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>>591780302
actually useful, thanks, anon
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>>591778879
>your own corn from your garden.
Yeah, i got a whole plot of maize in my backyard.
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>>591779828
every day is chest day
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>>591781118

Why would I care what they think?

Why would I mess up my whiskey?
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>>591775566
trippy doubly dubby trip dubba derrby dubs
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>>591778879
Your post was the most useless stupid thing in the whole thread
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>>591781849
Homemade emetic?
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>>591775900
Toothbrush
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>>591781526
\thread
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>>591778879
>>591778663
i dont like you
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>>591775023
Why not just put the beer into the cup?
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Okay Faggots, incoming dump.
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>>591782511
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>>591775461

Six slices of bacon per sandwich.
Found the fat fuck.
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>>591782648
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>>591778879
Im vegan and I agree with you. Even your opinion has nothing to do with being vegan.
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>>591782842
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>>591782648
i dont think any of these work anymore
testing
>greentext
*italic*
**bold**
* one
* two
* three
[zalgo] zalgo [/zalgo]
i am not a programmer
~~strikethrough~~
super^script
[spoiler] text [/spoiler]
[flip] upsidedown [/flip]
%triforce
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>>591782938
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>>591782648
%triforce
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>>591783082
>>591783103
Topkek (never fails to bait)
>>591783093
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>>591775656
>Not sloppy ramen sundae.
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>>591783258
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surprised no one posted it yet
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>>591783389
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>>591783258
bait my ass, i know full well that greentext is the only feature left on this site
i also know that at one point or another all the other commands did work, except triforce
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>>591783482
>>591783522
I guess dubs confirm
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>>591774810
>drink cold wine
fucking muricans..
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>>591783665
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>>591783522
i'm glad i posted that.. i've been dealing with a lot of death recently...
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>>591775900
I will
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>>591782469
because that's too simple to be a life hack
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>>591774810
these are the worst lifehacks of all time
it doesn't makie your life in any way easier but it makes you look like a fucking retard infront of other people
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>>591783469
Mustard gas don't do it newfags
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>>591783897
>>
>>591777598
nigga who doesn't like cupcakes?

>L1F3H4KK!!!1
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i have no idea what i'm posting, just dumping
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>>591775023
Why the fuck would you hide the beer?
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>>591775566
Oh fucking this. It's a good one. It actually works.
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>>591784222
Check 'em
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>>591783469
this one is actually not bad I did this with my niece
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>>591783665

And yet all of those 'indicators' are also signs of nervousness not deception. Wonder how many innocent nervous people went to jail because of those detectives who 'just knew'.
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>>591784269
while driving
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I just tried one of these hacks, now my desk won't stop glitching, did I do something wrong?
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>>591784399

▲▲
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>>591784399
Check'em
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>>591778404
Women do. In fact, most pubs I know serve beer with juice and a straw for women.
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>>591775409
how is that a life hack ive been doing that shit since if was 13 im pretty sure you're supposed to do that
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>>591784391
>obsessed with facts
>good thing
>mfw
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>>591784681
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>>591782469
keep it cold without watering it down with ice
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lmao @ %triforce
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>>591784846
>>
%triforce
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>>591785075
>>
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>>591784391
Holy shit, fuck this trite, unhelpful snooty garbage.
"Blames self for world" is an example of enlightenment. yeah, ok.
This shit was made by a sociopath wearing a friendly mask in hopes of making others easier to step on. How do I know? Because it's just a list of vague, general personality traits without any meaningful or useful philosophy tying them together.
"Some things good. Other things bad. This what words mean. Be like this and not that. I have hacked your life. You're welcome."
What a shitstain.
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>>591785223
>>
>>591778404
i did once. was at my grandmother's and she served one to me with ice. didn't want to have it too watered down, and didn't feel like dealing with the ice (sensitive teeth, never use ice or eat popsickles) so i grabbed a straw and power slurped before it got too watered down. will agree, it was much worse than drinking it a straw. not sure why.
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>>591778879
>wannabe maddox

topkek
>>
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>>591774971
not a lifehack, it's a recipe
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>>591785365
why dont you go find the artist and tell that person how you feel
>>
>>591785456
>>
>>591775519
So, do you just eat it raw like that? Some questions can be helpful
>>
>>591776629

This is awful. These are poorly cooked steaks. Never accept anything with that much of a temperature gradient.
>>
>>591784787
kek
>>
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>>591779828
The first link works
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>>591785691
>>
>>591781526
They are on his eyelids. He wouldn't get suitable purchase to attach them to his eyeballs.
>>
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>>591785727
>tfw you'll never know what meat is supposed to taste like
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>>591785844
Check'em
>>
>>591785844
Or just start doing it when it's assigned to you , lazy fuck
>>
>>591778879
>eats food
>fat
gg mate, you bested us...
>>
>>
>>591785798
This "like a sir" tie bullshit is dumb as fuck.
Some fucking programming nerd did it where I work, when he pointed it out or anyone noticed, it just made him look like an autistic kid who knew too much about knots.
Businesses don't care, nobody cares, it doesn't make you look smarter, only autistic
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>>591785798
>>
>>591785971
>>
>>591775129

These are binder clips...
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>>591785798
That knot looks like someone didn't know how to tie a tie and just made random bullshit up
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>>591786034
bitching about shit you cant change makes you autistic

try contributing you fucking pleb
>>
>>591786122
Check'em
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>>591786208
thats how all knots were made
>>
>>591784681

What enormous cunt would do this, and which insanely retarded school would not take proper precautions.

This is why testing should be done with pencils available on the desk already, with nothing allowed in the room other than the student.

The ONLY thing this cheats is your fellow schoolmates who actually put in the work and have actually learned the material. The MOMENT you enter any field where actually getting shit done is required (IE: any high paying job other than a meat head drill rigger), you will be called out and caught on your shit, and quickly ejected
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>>591784841
Maturity != popular
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>>591785637
Why don't you go find the artist and tell that person how I feel?
>>
>>591786230
>>591786315
Isn't the point of a Life Hack to hack life's problem's and dilemma's?
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>>591784533
Kekd
>>
>>591786685
>>
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>>591786679
because i don't have emotional reactions to anonymous posters

still not contributing?
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>>591781849
that looks like the most discusting thing ever...
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>>591786874
>>
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>>591787094
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>>591783469
This doesn't create the gas you're thinking of. It practically does nothing at all. Holy fuck this one sucks.
>>
>>591785941

http://www.seriouseats.com/2013/06/video-how-to-cook-your-steak-sous-vide-in-a-cooler.html
>>
>>591787209
>>
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>>591774810
> /B/
>>
>>591786685

If life's problem is "you're a useless cunt" then you have not at all solved it by cheating on a test that could well lead you down the path of solving the very problem you were trying to cheat away in the first place.

The lifehack here should be, stop smoking pot with your friends and read your fucking homework because you're 14 and this shit will determine whether or not you're still working at taco bell when you're 30
>>
>>591786220
I did >>591777598
I miss IDs

Lifehacks are stupid
>>
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>>591787266
>sous vide
boiled meat? no thanks
>>
>>591778663
>>591778879
damn nigga you got alot of free time on your hands.
>>
>>591787548

I don't even...

...what?
>>
>>591786685
>no more discussion tab
now how do i?
>>
>>591786685
Outdated as fuck, try it and let me know how far you get
>>
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>>591787371
>posting a link to youtube
>calling it contributing
try harder
>>
>>591774971
Enjoy your Type 2 Diabetes
>>
>>591787367
Are you upset about someone you know in your life who cheats and gets away with it? Sit down and tell a story anon.
>>591787345
>>
>>591774810
use a pen
>>
>>591786907
You don't have intelligent reactions to anonymous posters, either. If you go back up the thread you'll notice my response was to the creator of the image, not the 'anonymous poster,' I assume you. You've obviously taken it personally anyway and projected, as evidenced by your reframing of my criticism as a purely emotional reaction. (You suggested telling the creator how I "feel" rather than what I think.)

>still not contributing?

Still contributing, you mean.
>>
>>591786315
Except for that isn't how it works. Life works exactly the way you've just described. Idiots work hard because they are sheep, and the lazy man finds the easy way. In the end, we all die. So good luck being honest you faggot. I cheated all through school and I still cheat at my job today. It's called fake it til you make it. You don't need to be more educated, just more clever.
>>
>>591787734
>>
>>591777509
Do they have this for texting??
>>
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>>591775409
Literally everyone who has done any sort of work with electronic tools knows that already.
>>
>>591775350
looks dangerous
>>
>>591775176
My LG G3's speaker is so loud the phone can act as a bluetooth speaker
>>
>>591776265
why would you need so much oil?!
>>
>>591787869
Last one
>>
>>591787734

> Be Life story

> GF gets arts degree
> cries herself to sleep because she works in retail
> 'I work hard but i never get any opportunity'
> hasn't applied herself to any further education or entry level job because of the small paycut it would take
> makes no sacrifice
> world isn't fair

I have to put up with that shit every day, and so do the rest of you, through the money you funnel to them via your taxes
>>
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>>591776149

>"something fun then?"
>"are you alone?"
>"yes"
>"okay, come with me"
>where the fuck is this takin' m--
>COMIC SANS
>>
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>>591787770
>failure at context
>>
>>591776265
>>591788015
why would one even have oil at all in this type of pan?
>>
>>591788015

Because for some dumb fuck reason you're cooking on a surface with a large number of undulations, and as such, will be required to fill those undulations in addition to a small amount of oil on the now flat surface of the pan.

Almost guaranteed to make sure that egg holds onto more oil too. Fat shits
>>
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>>591788227
true, that's a teflon coated pan, but most people wont notice that, thus the oil is extra insurance
>>
>>591788046
Ahh the typical whiny bitch who doesn't try hard
(No offense)

So why stay with her anon? Great Sex? Companionship?
>>
>>591788227

Oil isn't for keeping it from sticking, it's for heat transfer. You can't cook in non-stick without oil.
>>
>>591787367
Exactly, Everyone wants to figure out how to do something "properly" when they

>>591787675
>I post a video on how stupid "life hacks" are, which is in line with the topic of discussion (general life hacks thread)
>I then comment how most life hacks are in fact stupid and nobody looks clever doing them
>you tell me to contribute and claim I'm autistic for trying to change something, which is the opposite of what autistic people do (fun fact: they like routine and don't try to change things, but its okay, you say "autistic" because you learned to call people it because of the internet and you can't make a real argument or think for yourself)
>I point out that I have contributed
>you proceed to post a recipe for cheese bites littered with rage comic meme things, then claim my contribution wasn't one.
I'd like to think you are trolling, but I'm starting to think most people posting on the internet are in fact, idiots who think they know shit.
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>>591782648
kek, my hero
>>
>>591788421

I actually agree. It makes me angry, makes me jaded... but then..

A balcony you could do Shakespeare off
>>
>>591788530
I try.
>>
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>>591788509
no
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>>591788684
Ahh boobs, the kryptonite of several men. But, hey when the time comes to be married are you sure you want this person? I mean boobs are fucking great and all, but why struggle eternally for the rest of your relationship without being able to speak how you truly feel?
>>
>>591782842
now that's a bunch of crap
>>
>>591788509
oh shit I got so caught up in educating someone I didn't finish my post:
>>>591787367
Life hacks are spread by fucking link bait articles on social media, I'm still yet to see a real "life hack" that works better than how people normally do it or isn't common sense (feeling cold? wear a coat!)
>>
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>>591591788509
just like you faggot
>>
>>591782511
Domestic hack #3
what's the point of the lock if you unlock it by trying to open the door?

Work/Productivity Hack #1
not a hack, just cocking about

And then there's all the 'murica problems, but I won't mention those
>>
>>591778879
why do mega-autists like you have to respond to every fucking post? commit sudoku.
>>
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>>591789065

Because boobs. She doesn't cost me much (her poor financial choices in the past mean she always pays for her own shit despite earning several times less than me), and its more mutually dating, I don't think either of us believes marriage is even possible.

I don't need to go pick up in bars, I don't have time, but I do enjoy a good steak out and I do enjoy the occasional intelligent conversation (she does have it in her, but people don't pay for the fields she is intelligent in)

TL:DR my work involves moving around a lot, she is temporary.
>>
>>591784542
thats .. sad
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>>591784533
mein sides
>>
>>591776973
this is no longer relevant there are already hotter ones.
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