Guys my dog accidentally raccoon. What do?

is it stuck?

>>591450717
Raccoon seems to be enjoying it. Take more pics.

Captcha: helpcatch victory

OP accidentally dog

>>591450717
Throw a bucket full of cold water
problem will be solved

>>591450717
srsly I'm kek'ing so hard

>>591450991
this probably
is racoon ok...

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>>591450717

>>591450717
Join in

>>591450991

Yeah, problem, I'm in a forest 3 miles from home.

I'm not walking my dog to the nearest house, asking for a bucket of water, because my dog has its dick stuck in a forest critter.

>>591450717
Did he fuck that racoon to death?

>>591451140
>knowing how dog dicks work
faggot

>>591450867
The dog is just a little bit knotty.

>>591451450

I think it was already dead...

wouldn't have happened if you jerked him off daily like a responsible owner

>>591451430
Then yo will have to wait it out. Could take a while

>>591451333
Listen to trips

>>591451430
he's out in few minutes

>>591451829

Guess I have no other option...

>>591450717
what the fuck?!

BOON THE COON motherfucker.

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>>591451430

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definitely toasting in epic bread here

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Kill the rat coon with a liver shot and take it to the vet, they will determine if it has rabies or not by dissecting the brain.
Your dog could have rabies currently, take him to the vet as well

>>591451876
>animal lover
I'm sorry you fuck animals, /b/ro, but don't take it out on me.

>>591450717

fuck the dog

go big or go home, it's the only way

>>591450717
>accidentally
Riiiight...

>fucked a raccoon to death

why not just pull the racoon out?

>>591452056
Wow. Actual good advice...

I understand that it's funny to misidentify animals, but I get the feeling some of you actually think that's a raccoon...

>>591452141
I'm sorry you literally suck dicks.

The only way to fix it OP is for you to accidentally dog

Congrats on having a retarded dog. Now search Youtube for the dog that fucked a cat and got stuck

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>>591452056
dog gest rekt by rabies lmao

>>591452512
Of course it's not a raccoon. It's nerve gas.

>>591452056

Thanks for the tip, was planning to do that.
Bit though to explain though... I'll probably just say I've seen him bite one or some shit.

>>591452512
Oh fuck that's an opossum

I feel retarded

>>591453372
Dude, it's a dawg, they are incapable of being embarrassed hence why he fucked a coon in your presence.

Tell them what happened, I'm sure they'll get a kek out of it.

>>591453372
don't forget the pictures...
please...

>>591450717

Ohhhh shit bro your dogs balls deep in badger bush thats fucken amazing

>>591452512

Sorry, raccoon dog, but srsly who the fuck cares, my dog's still stuck to its ass.

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>>591453722

>>591453531
That's not an opossum. Nor is it a coon. Nor is it a badger. Might be some kinda fox which would make sense since foxes are canine.

>>591450717
You made your dog wear a condom right? If not he might get rabies.

this thread is amazing

OP it's a raccoon dog which means it's a canine which is the reason your dog fucked it. If it lives it will have crossbreed pups. Might not be a good thing out in the wild. Best put that fucker down.

>>591454836
op is in japan?

Post more pics faggot

>>591454836

it was already dead though.

>>591450717
DID THE RACOON DIED

>>591455353
kek

its a coon coat to keep his lipstick warm

>>591455353
>Kenshiro the dog
>The raccoon dog is already dead

>>591451642

kek
if u join in you ll be able to tell your grandchildren you ve been doing bestiality and necrophilia at the same time

>>591450717
OP i got a great idea.

take one of your shoelaces and wrap that raccoon dog to your dog.

that way, you can get your dog to a vet.

>>591452056
Oh shit... You can get rabies from fucking a racoon? Wish I'da known this sooner.

he's probably trying to fuck it back to life.

What a sweetheart.

Hey gang did you know that....
You can fuck some roadkill TODAY!

>>591451430
... dude doesnt know penises shrink once no longer sexually stimulated....

fucking dumb as fuck. unless you have had an erection your ENTIRE life.. then you are truly really fucking stupid

>>591452403
>//thread

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Still not going anywhere...... About to kick him in his nuts, horny motherfucker...

>>591455729
most rarest 3some in the world..

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>>591450717
who are you calling "coon"?

>>591452650
Sorry, wrong earlier...
NO
>//thread

cant you just give him some alone time and let him cum? i mean wont the red rocket go back in?

disclaimer: i know nothing about dog penises stuck inside a raccoon.

>>591456237
Is the coon dead?

It takes about 30 minutes for dog dick to deflate. Wait it out and when he comes free take him to a vet and tell him what happened. Show him the pics he will laugh.

>>591455932
kek
>>591456237
shiet this is actually legit? timestamp pls

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>>591456094
you need an education kiddo.

>>591456283
fuck with anyone you want i dont care.. unless its tealc. faggot.

i hope you die

>>591456237
lolololololololololololol

If it's dead pull that fucker off him. It will come out with a little pressure.

>>591452056
It's not safe to stick your dick in anything these days.

>>591456237
>that hairy ass arm

No wonder your in the fucking woods.

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In britbong we call it a 'willie warmer'

>>591456237
Is it dead?

>>591456658
old hand at this?

>>591456237
I actually went and googled this shit

The male can be tied for half an hour, sometimes more

WHAT THE HELL

If this is OC this is the funniest shit i've seen all day

>>591456237
Don't. Your dog could be seriously injured if force is used trying to get him loose. Also, if it takes more then 20-30 minutes your dogs penis tissue could dry out, get cracked and infected

>>591456515
how the fuck does he drink an anime show?
fucking casual.

now that's entertainment

Throw a ball and make him run.

>>591456658
This, just pull it off man, you're probably not going to hurt the dog.

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>>591456237

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>>591450717

join in as a threesome

>>591456841
Where I come from, we call people like you a school punchbags. You want a punch, huh? Fatso.

This is a very unusual situation your dog has gotten you involved in. Not sure I'd trust that dog around children.

>>591450717
Seriously bro... That thing dead?

>>591457045

So don't forget to blow your dog once you get it free from that raccoon's arsehole

cold water. works everytime

>>591457117
don't forget to lick it clean

>>591457116
This.

This actually made me horny.

>>591457276
I have no idea what this means

>>591456841
No, no, we call it a wig-wam-willy-warmer.

slip your arm in the coon like a puppet and start asking the dog to cuddle...then start crying bitchin and throw a fit....mfukr will pull out and run

Boasting in epic tread

>>591451099
Same. Vodka out nose. Much burn. Still kek.

Would have been funnier if the raccoon was alive

>>591457438
Right?

For the 3rd or 4th time, yes it was already dead.

And
>>591457438
goddammit someone somewhere is fapping to this, isn't it. well enjoy, my dog sure did, goddammit...

Bring the ritter home as his fuck toy. Imagine if a child got stuck like this lol.

>>591451888
none notices this man's trips.

HEIL HAIRY HITLER

>>591457573
Kk

>>591457116

LOST MY SHIT. LuLz

>>591455729
kek

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>>591457310
this is why i come to /b/

>>591457633
Now it's YOUR turn to fuck it! Aaaaahhhh, bonding with your pets... taking part in the same interests...

>>591451876
hidden post

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>>591450717
Well then

>>591456237
what if you carefully cut the asshole bigger?

How did your dog manage to find a dead raccoon and fuck it? I can't really see a dog mounting a dead animal. I have a feeling you helped him out on this one OP.

yer dog just railed a crunchy coon butt grommet

Dogs dicks swell when they cum it will take a little bit for it to shrink back down to size. Cold water may rush the process.

>>591457045
Kerosene works tho.
>step 1 douse both creatures with 2 to 5 gallons of ICE COLD kerosene.
>step 2 warm the creatures with a small fire, as they will be cold and in pseudo shock from the cold kerosene.
>step 3 post pics on 4chan
>step 4 profit!!!

Now fuck the dog in its ass. While screaming the song below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwSKkKrUzUk

>>591458156
Some dogs are less intelligent than even sandniggers though.

>>591456237
your dog and probably you now have rabies, distemper, and aids, you will now die.

WAHT DOES THE FOX SAY??

>>591458305
KeK

set the racoon on fire. you will have to burn the racoon so the dogs dick is free

>>591458305

this somewhat makes sense.

>>591458455
Probably got scurvy and scoliosis too. Fuckin raccoon man.

I think your dog fucked it and THEN it died from internal hemmorage as the dogs oversized knot busted it's insides..

Tie your dog to a tree, come back 2 days later. Dog will have gotten hungry and ate the raccoon from his dick.

>>591458702
kek

>>591458644
It wouldn't die instantly though, and would probably put up one hell of a fight unless it was as dumb as obama and let it happen

OP you gotta get his cock out of the coon before the dog cums.
If not, that dog will be drowned in child support payments and develop alcoholism.

>>591458297
9/10 would fuck

I can't believe your dog just accidentally a racoon.

THE WHOLE RACOON!

>>591458643
Nah, its a coon. So he got den Ebola's, aids, crack and purple drank addiction.

grab the coons head and make it bite boscos dick ...loud hissing noises will add to the effect

OP are you in japan?

>>591458938
I shouldn't have, but I laughed hard at this.

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>>591458156
The feeling is mutual.
>>>591456237
>mud on shirt, dog, and raccoon. looks like a collar/rope on raccoon's neck.

>>591456237
Looks like it is stuck up it's ass. I can't see it's asshole. Your dog is probably gay.

I gotta say, there is WAY too much knowledge on dog dick in here...

>>591458702
/thread

And that's how Tanuki's were made.

>>591459318
>///thread³

If it will do that to Dune Coons you really have a great dog there.

>>591459207
>You are on /b/

Moar pics OP!

i think he'll stop if you join in

He's finally out, I'm hauling my ass to the nearest vet now. Next time I'm giving him pants to wear and never get him off his leash.

>>591457116
kek

>>591459750
/thread
Thanks OP. You made my night.

>>591459533
On an alternate earth, within 10^10^118 meters from here, ops cock is stuck in coon.

>>591459750
You're taking the coon with you right? The brain has to be examined.

>>591459750
is his tail wagging like he just busted a nut in a coon?

>>591450717
Cook it for dog

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I love you /b/

>>591459750
make a note of where the coon is. might need to bag it up later.

>>591459750
All the while I bet you're imagining deer dick in some hot forest woman, ruttin' like wildfire...

>>591459750
haha, take a pic OP.
shit's awesome.

>>591459974
This. Although I suppose if the dog is infected, that will show up in bloodstream, right? I don't own a dog, so I don't know.

>>591457219
>BESTIALITY

wat?

I'm a robot.

>>591459750
Image of coon aftermath plz OP

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Someone fucking screen cap this thread, please. I'm dying over here, my sides have just left behind the Voyagers on their way to the unknown cosmos.

>>591458474
Underrated post

Jesus christ. Have any of you ever seen a raccoon? That is not a raccoon. I happen to have seen a lot of raccoons.

>>591459117
dumb question but is there a name for those gifs where the eyes and mouths become bigger and super creepy? I've seen lots of them.

>>591450717
Dude, I'm not sure that's a raccoon. The tail and face aren't quite right. I think your dog raped some kinda weasel or something.

>>591460403
But have you fucked them?

>>591460426
It's a hot mulatto coon

>>591459750
>>591460274
YES PLS PIC OF CREAMPIE FROM COON'S ASS BASED FOREST MAN

>>591459750
post the coons arse

>>591460403
>>591460426

It's a raccoon dog. See.
>>591455135

It's a canid.

>>591460466
I grew up on a farm and hate the little fuckers. I've probably killed over 50 of them in my life through various means. Nasty little creatures, they're only cute when you don't have to deal with the damage.

Also admittedly this is the funniest post that I've seen in a while but it's a little weird to me that so many people think it is a coon

>>591460311

>screencap
>not just archive

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>>591460419
No name.. The makers of these .gifs require a high level of autism to pull it off.

Whelp.... It's about that time again.

>>591450717
>>591450717
1) become racoon lawyer
2) suit dog for rape
3) ???
4) profit!

>>591460944
Do you have a better guess Marlin Perkins?

>>591460944
So their curious-ness doesn't outweigh their meanness? I thought they'd be calmer.

>>591461108
Maybe both?

Guys I don't have more pics, the second he got out he wanted to lick it, didn't want even more risk so I kicked the coondog away (again, it was already dead).

thats not a raccoon. some kind of fox

>>591456237
Just let the nigga fuck, shit.

>>591450991
actually that is not going to work.
a dogs dick could be stuck at the critter as far as i know they dont stop until the dogs cum.

>>591461144
Maybe the coon isn't dead. Only on date rape drug.

>>591459940
>You made my night.
loser

>>591450717
One wonders how wild dogs survive, having to fuck every dead animal they come across in the woods.

>>591450717
that's how new species are made

>>591461371
muh sides

somewhere, furries are cumming bucketloads all over themselves.

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>>591461514

>This is what antifurfags believe

>>591450717
Put ur dick in dog

>>591450717
You just unraccoon dog. Then your dog unraccoon.

>>591461683
YIFF IN HELL FAGGOT

>>591460419
>>591461129
>No name
It's ok, anon, you learn something new every day...
http://www.somethingawful.com/photoshop-phriday/content-aware-photoshop/1/

>>591461830
A pic of a guy fucking a dog, in the act of fucking a coon - might have resulted in the greatest meme of our generation.
>we'll never know

>>591461453
you are here

OP!

I have the solution.

Tell your dog the raccoon wants a commited long term relationship.

He'll pull out and leg it like a mother fucker!

>>591461237
They look cute from a distance and they don't bother you until you bother them mostly. But they carry a shitload of diseases and sound like little demons when they get aggressive. They mass devour chickens and root around in vegetable patches. They will get under buildings and nest and dig holes through siding and into roofs.

They are also totally fearless and will turn aggressive towards pets when they are eating and it's like like dexterous little wolves chasing you.

>>591455135
look at that dirty slut. she was asking for it

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>>591459750
>Not taking sloppy seconds from the dog

das it mane

>Faggot
Not a yiffer either. You do know that 6% of the "Yiffer" Population are zoophiles, right? That's a huge minority.
>Do your fucking research
Captcha: SSuicide

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Guys my dog accidentally a whore.

What do?

>>591462765
>>591462209
Oops.

>>591462437
I for one welcome our new raccoon overlords

didn't think they'd carry anything other than rabies, but i don't know shit

>>591462384
better yet, tell the raccoon your dog has no house ownership

>>591462838
Get that fucking thing to a vet

>>591462838
get that bitch spayed

>>591460327
No. It's an underage b& post, you fucking faggot.

I'm a robot.

>>591462912
this works also

>>591462838
dog might have STDs, go to a vet.

>>591462838
take turns

and "my dog accidently a..." is going to be a new meme for sure at this rate

captcha: samen

epic thread is epic

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My dog brought in this raccoon the other night.


Was pretty pleased

and this is how darkies are born.

>>591450717
what a fucking dog would try to rape a a dead forest critter?
unzip your pants and rape your dog until he gives up the critter as he starts to cum.

>>591462437
>But they carry a shitload of diseases and sound like little demons when they get aggressive. They mass devour chickens.

So they're little hairy niggers?

>>591450717
This for some reason gives me a boner.

>>591463163
newfragotry

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>>591450717

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>>591463575

Dog genetalia swells when it orgasms, kind of locking into the opposing dog pussy.He'll be stuck in that shit for a while man, might as well continue the walk while dragging the coon on the ground.

>>591462765
furries are all like pedos that clain to only like LOLi
furries are fucking disgusting zoophiles.

>>591450717
Looks like op is a jap. Thats a racoon dog from china

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>tfw when OP is already gone and driving to the vet
>tfw you will never see dog semen oozing from a rigor-mortified coon anus
>tfw it was all for nothing

It's alright OP. G-go take care of your emergencies.

Hopefully you won't be in this situation again, but dog dicks "knot" when having sex and you should not try to force the knot out as it can hurt both animals.

tie rope to coon / door...slam door

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Now that we know it's possible, c-could... we have some more?

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>>591462765
>implying zoophilia is the only problem with furries

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Someone please archive this

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>>591450717

Shit is just gross

Make your dog a cuckold, fuck the coon!

>>591464020

>This is what anti furfags actually believe

K bruh
I'm not a yiff fag, means I'm not sexually into any furry characters, the minority of Yiffers have a small likeness of Zoophilia, which I've looked into using all of the popular furry sites, and all resulted in 4-6 % zoophile art in the sexual sections, so your argument is invalid, newbag.

removed in 1min
http://youtu.be/y9sG5cVX-As

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Now the tables turn.

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>>591457219
Yes

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>>591450717

>>591464937

Dude, I know what people post in cringe threads, yeah, every fandom/group/organization has its bad eggs. And also people say "Well hurr durr I've never met a furry etc" When furries are literally everywhere, not everyone wears a fursuit or anything like that.

>>591465492
I'm a furry who's into bestiality.

kek