> be me
> 33 y.o
> becoming old and wants to be a father soon
> met a girl at a bar,typical 8,5/10,hot, she's cheering me up
> took her into a motel
> we start kissing and she tels me she wants anal for first time
> we're doing...and she's really enjoying
> suddenly, she's crapping all over my dick, but she didnt notice she was pooping
> I stop and she yells"DONT STOP, OR I'LL SHIT ON YOU"
Not everyone remembers every movie, fgt.
HEY THAT'S ME!
The hell did you find that...
My fucking sides!!
I thought these were just cancer but this actually somewhat redeems it.. I've been on here for like 4 or 5 years now and I honestly can' say I'd even reply to most things but this is worthwhile
9.7/10 good sir.
that's a serie of stories,hope someone is cappin' this
> after this incident, I left the place, drove her at her house and started a 5 months therapy
> she pooped on my dick...it's kinda hard to forget
> but the show must go on
> on a different bar, I met this new girl, this one isn't that hot, but she's smart and cute, and we start meeting each other better.
> start dating
> after a month, things get spicy and she wants to do it
> it's gonna be my first time since the shit incident
> she takes out her clothes, my liltle guy is ready to work
> 69 is going great, but...
> the trauma comes back, I start shaking and yell: "PLEASE DON'T POOP ON ME"
> "u're fucking gross anon, why should I poop on u"
> lost my boner instantly and she leaves my house really mad
> and this is how I lost the love of my life
this shit reminds me of my girlfriend maybe soon to be ex. she is black and korean and sits there dancing and twerking in the mirror all the time and i find it disgusting. only because i usually date black women who have a big booty and rhythm while this chick is tiny with weak moves and seems fixated on her non existent ass
Dude, you cant have sex with a double headed dragon, they are dangerous!
when u think it can't be worst...part1
> started therapy again
> shrink says I need some real medication
> my psychological is ruined so far
> he says I must be social and still try a healthy relationship
> go to pool party at my cousin's house
> met a very hot chick, that's a 10/10 for sure
> she's hitting on me, I don't know but...there must be something in my face girls love.
> we're talking and drinking, and at some point of the party, cousin start to mix the drinkings
> vodca with whiskey
> tequila and beer
> me and girl are really drunk now and we're going to cousin's bedroom
> we're fucking just like animals, cuz we're really drunk
> fuck me anon, make me cum
> fucking this bitch like real porn actor, she's really crazy
> about to cum, I remember I want a kid, cuz I'm getting older
> at this time, I'm not worried if she's on the pills
> drunk as hell,I cum inside her and say: the fastest horse wins the race!!!
> at this point, both fall asleep and the things just gone really mad when we woke up.
Possible. But according to this
wowwiki.com -slash- Dancing
it's something far more sinister.
Only it's completely pointless, because THAT'S WHAT A FUCKING KETTLE IS FOR!
Im not going on that fucking site. Im over the crack, and I aint goin back.
It would be under 1.44MB due to the file system already encoded on the disk.
I cant see the file previews anymore, vision too blurry to give a fuck. Im posting blind and no one can stop me.
This, buy an electric kettle like I have. Also never microwave distilled water in a bowl because if gets too hot and you touch it with something it will explode all over you.
>inb4 some idiot tries this and gets severe burns
when u think it can't be worst...part2
> we both woke up on a hospital
> cousin is worried next to me
> something smells really bad, ask cousin what happened
> he says me and girl had an alcoholic coma, and almost died, but before we reach the hospital, we had thrown up on each others body
> he says we puked blood
> can't remember any shit
> got surprised when I see the girl on the bed next to me
> she's still alive
> doctor enters the room
> "anon, u almost died, for real, I don't know if u realise, but u''re here for the last 3 weeks...never drink this again"
maybe u guys call me idiot...but I married this coma girl after 3 years
i have more, he hates it when i do that shit to him i just cant get enough of it though.
I was wondering why you ask if we want more when nobody wants your shit story and you go on anyway, but then I remembered that this is probably the only social encounter you get all day.
Let's get le meme started! Le memeing on da 4c ammiright?!