You can’t believe you’re this early. She asked you to pick

>>585799215
D) Kill yourself

>>585799304
this

>>585799304
rolling

>>585799215

Park up in nearby carpark and fap off to calm myself down

>>585799215

I'd just fap off

you can easily get yourself killed, given you take the appropriate path.

>>585799215
D) Fap

>>585799215

Why not just go have a fap?

>>585799215

Would've have left house on time as I'd be fapping

if you go fap, you're not going to get a stiffy when you eventually potentially have the chance to fuck

>>585799215

I would've stopped halfway there for a fap.

>>585799215
A

Do I have time to fap before she comes home?

>>585799215
D)Stay at home and fap

>>585799858
A wins! and also ruins it for the samefag continuing to say D)fap

===

Despite having been on the road for so long already, you decide you don’t want to appear desperate and go for a drive around town. You decide not to wander too far, and by 6:45pm, you’ve got the nearby streets memorized. There are hardware stores, gas stations, convenience stores, grocery stores, and restaurants all within a couple blocks’ radius. You’ve got 45 min. to kill and aren’t sure which location to check out. You’re starving so you wouldn’t mind grabbing a snack, but you’re supposed to get dinner with your date. You also wouldn’t mind filling up your gas tank because you’re almost empty after the long drive here, but you’re anticipating a handshake rather than a hug and you’re afraid your hands might reek like gas. You decide to:

A) Go to a fast food drive-thru for a quick snack. She’ll never know the difference and it might inspire her to order less when she sees you order small at dinner.
B) Go fill up your tank. If you don’t do it now, you’re going to have to do it while she’s in the car and she may get annoyed.
C) Play it safe and go to the convenience store. You never considered getting her a small gift and this will be your only chance to make a good first impression.

A) Drive around town *fapping* until 7:20.

>>585799304
Jerk off in car, then kill myself

Instead of being an edgy lame ass 14 year old I'll pick an actual answer.
A.)

>>585800589
link 2 post. this for the beginning or the next part?

>>585800243
C) Go to convenience store and buy magnum sized condoms

>>585800243
B) Fill up tank then fap after with the gasoline still on ny hands.

>>585800243
B

>>585800243
>>585800838
B) Go to gas station, but instead of using gasoline, fap and fill up tank with cum

B wins!

===

You don’t want to waste time getting gas while on your date and chance upsetting her for having to stop, so you make your way to the gas station. After filling up, your hands reek. You go to wash your hands in the bathroom, but it’s out of order. When you punch the door in frustration, you realize you’ve sliced your hand open. You’ve still got some time to kill and you really need to wash your hands, especially now that you’re bleeding. You head toward the convenience store you passed earlier and clean up in the restroom. Before leaving, you buy a first aid kit with the soft fabric band-aids, annoyed that the only band-aids they sold individually were the plastic kind. Who prefers those, anyway? Noticing that you’re now running short on time, you speed to her place and get there just in time. The girl opening the front door is stunning. You’re amazed how lucky you are. Do you:

A) Ask her if she’s ready to go to dinner.
B) Wait for her to ask you to come inside.

>>585801027
C) Walk inside without her permission and drop my pants

>>585801027
C) Drop the spaghetti, go home.

>>585801027
A

>>585801027
A) Assert Dominance, maintain eye contact. "Let's go dumbass", while fapping.

>>585801027
C) Open the door, get on the floor, walk the dinosaur

>>585801027
A

>>585801393
>>585801553
>>585801693
A wins!

===

You’re glad you filled up your gas tank and took care of your bleeding hand, but now you’d really like to get going. You’re starving. You decide to ask your date if she’s ready to go, but she’s concerned about your hand. You inform her that you took care of it and that you’ll be fine, so you both head to your car. Upon arriving at the restaurant of her choice, you realize there aren’t any parking spaces near the front. You’ve got a strategic decision to make. You:

A) Decide to pay for valet. This girl might be impressed with your willingness to spoil her.
B) Decide to park far away. You’d like to see if she’s prissy or not and making her walk a bit will be a nice little test.

>>585801787
A

>>585801787
A) Pay for valet, because not a poorfag. In fact, tip the valet an extra $50

A

>>585801985
This

>>585801787
A

>>585801787
B) Park far enough away that no one will hear the screams.

>>585802232
This!

B, then fap? (All the choices had a fap option but this one didnt for some reason???)

>>585801931
>>585801985
>>585802136
>>585802194
>>585802208
A wins!

===

You look to the beautiful girl in your passenger seat and decide the smartest move is to pay for valet. You pull up to the valet lane and try not to make eye contact with your date as you hand over the keys. You play it cool like this is no big deal; you do it all the time. She gets out of the car and you could swear you saw her smirking.
You engage in a wonderful conversation throughout the length of the meal and think things are going very well. When the sound of dishes crashing in the kitchen echo throughout the restaurant, everyone claps in jest and goes about their meals.
But the sounds of breaking platters continue and are followed with blood-curdling screams. A slight panic rolls over everyone as a figure staggers into the dining area, dragging a left leg that’s been badly broken. His chin is pressed in his chest, hiding his face, and nobody can tell if he’s a victim or the attacker. Without warning, this peculiar figure lunges at a table clawing and biting at a group of women. The man, more animalistic than human, raises his blood-stained face allowing all to see him clearly for the first time. His eyes are grayed-out and vapid. His nose has been lost. His remaining flesh is dry and cracked.
Before anyone can comprehend this monster, more creatures like him start pouring into the restaurant attacking anyone they can reach, each with their own horrible disfigurements. You and your date retreat until your backs are to the wall, unaware that you’re bearing witness to the first recorded zombie outbreak in history.

End of Chapter 1.

>>585802405
Well! You’ve survived the first chapter! With sixty-seven possible endings, you’ve not only remained alive, but you’ve managed to accumulate the following advantages for the remainder of your adventure:

Gas for Your Car
First-Aid Kit

But, due to poor choices, you’ve also:

Given away your car keys

The choices you’ve made thus far will be paramount to your continued survival in the following chapter.

>>585802405
Whoa

Dont forget u didnt fap, dumbasses

But on the brightside theres never been a more appropriate time to start!!

>>585802405
Did not see that coming. Good thing /pol/ prepared me this kind of shit

>>585802456
GOD DAMNIT I told you faggots not to use the valet

rich fag = dead fag

Bumping for OP

chapter 1 took over 75 documents to complete. you guys only saw 4 of the choices. i think you chose THE quickest path to the end of the chapter.

this is a test run, as chapter 2 is still being written.

thanks guys :)

>>585802854
This

We are lucky we fapped ourselves dry or the sexual tension towards the zombies would be paramount.

>>585803557
Don't care, still going to get me some zombie pussy

>>585803544
Hey, what's your mail? I want to help you write!

>>585803544
dude, thats insane.. thanks for the entertainment.

>>585803544
OP is not a faggot. Thanks for the entertainment!

>>585803771
i appreciate the offer, but i dont see how 2 people could do it. i have a huge fucking map in excel keeping track of the different paths. there's a different path for each choice, as well EVEN more as in the later chapters dependent on which supplies you accumulated / problems you ran into

other possible outcomes include:
fat roommate
guard dog
muscle-bound alpha male
hatchets
etc

>>585803557
Or at least get to read the other endings.

>>585802456
>remained alive

This statement raises questions. You mean we could have died before we even got to the restaurant?

>>585804271
Can I at least get some contact info. I am really fucking interested. You write really well!
Don't let an anon down.

>>585804580
>please respond

>>585804531
yes, sir. there are 67 outcomes for Chapter 1.

19/67 result in death.

>>585804580
jessesmith1945 gmail is my throwaway email. no guarantee i'll check it for months at a time

>>585804973
Thanks man!

>>585804973
This is fantastic. I hope we can see a finished version in the future.

>>585804973
The mail doesn't work

>>585804973
Here's mine: godthepowerfull gmail com

>>585804973
Thats pretty badass. Did any of the possible fatal outcomes include getting raped by a pack of niggers? It may be exactly the provocative and controversial content this bad boy is lacking.

>>585805689
you're right. it was supposed to be 1942, not 1945. shows how often i use it

>>585805559
eventually, yes. chapter 2 is easily going to be hundreds of documents.

>>585805848
refer to >>585805955

>>585805863
i debated making this a /b/-centric story, but then i could never share it anywhere else. it's too limiting to have the rape and real degradation as choices

>>585805863
You would obtain a callused asshole if you survive the gang bang which would render zombie rape ineffective.

OP is leaving work in 8 minutes.

>>585799215
Set an alarm on my phone for 60 minutes from now.

1. Go get more gas. Jesus fucking christ, it's not like you don't have the time. Is the car clean? Well, guess what, skippy? You've got the time it takes to fill your tank up to full, don't you? Clean up your car, turn down the radio, put a good mix of tunes on the player and air out the road trip farts.
2. Use my phone to find a local gym. Take the emergency stash bag of clothes I keep in the car, pay the guest fee, do a light workout for 15 minutes, then shower.
3. Find a local sunset view area, check it out for 10-15 minutes.
4. Eat a protein bar and drink 24 ounces of water.
5. Go to the store and get a single rose that isn't red - orange with red tips is fine. Get rid of the thorns. Find a card that's blank on the inside, and write "Strangely Romantic Greeting Card and Single Rose Gift Gestures Are Strangely Trite, but Also Strangely Fun to Do On A First Date". Leave it in the car.
5. Head back to the house. Pull up at exactly 7:35 p.m.
6. Knock on the door.
7. Apologize for being a little late.
8. Go out in your car. on the way to the date location, give her the rose / card. Gauge reaction. If she laughs, you win - that's the reaction you wanted. Say something like, "I know you're supposed to do something dorkily romantic like this but I felt like such a giddy little dweeb leading up to meeting you that I just couldn't NOT do something dweebily giddy on the first date. I'm sorry. You're going out on a date with a giddy dweeb tonight."
9. Do dinner and second event, because we're assuming you had to drive all the way from hell and gone to meet this girl. And if you're 75 minutes early to a date that takes normal people 10 minutes to get to, you have serious issues (or traffic problems).

Continued.

>>585806627
welcome to the thread, new friend. please continue reading.

File: 1410489777400.jpg (185KB, 1500x1500px) Image search: [Google]

185KB, 1500x1500px

>>585800243
> you’re anticipating a handshake rather than a hug and you’re afraid your hands might reek like gas.

Erm... what?

>>585806288
I think it should be a 500 page book

>Buy choose your own adventure book at store 13.99usd.
>Open first page, dedicated to Hitler.
>Start adventure, 3 choices.
>Each choice leads to the same exact death.
>497 blank pages.

Immortalized as a novelistic troll.

>>585806627
10. In middle of second event, if it's going well, say something like, "I can't focus right now, because all I'm thinking about is the goodnight kiss - whether or not to do it, how it's going to be awkward, etc. So here's my plan. It's not a very good plan or thought out, but it's this: if you feel like giving me a goodnight kiss right now, before the date's over, that would work for me. If you think kissing's out of the question, then that's fine, but at least that way I can focus on being with you right now and not think about how to get you to kiss me or if you're even interested in kissing me. And I think you're probably on some level trying to figure that out, too. So, want to just get the whole awkward moment out of the way right now?"
11. If response is negative, don't worry about it, continue date.
12. If response is positive, kiss.
13. At end of date, if positive, don't go inside, just give second goodnight kiss at door and say don't be surprised if I call and ask you for another date tomorrow and see what you have going on.
14. If negative, walk her to door, say I had a great time. Talk to you soon.

>>585806881
Nope. This thread is bullshit, I'm jacking it. No guy in their right mind would actually have a storyline like this. The optimal results for dating are conducting one's self in optimal positive outcomes.

We all know /b/ would rather just rape and call it a day. Don't drag it out.

>>585807615
you might want to skip ahead a few dozen posts

>>585807615
You are a fucking idiot. I will not refute or debate any of your retarded implications and / or claims because it speaks for itself. Go fucking die you dumb faggot.

>>585804271
FFS, if you have this level of story you can build a Choose Your Own instead of wasting /b/'s time, you stupid fuck.