Oi /b/ what's your best joke?

My life

my sexual life

>>584065078
knock knock

>>584065724
Come in!

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/thread

>>584065724

Who dere tho

>>584065078
Why are midgets shit parents?

They struggle to put food on the table

>>584065724
suck my balls

>>584065814
your a faggot

>>584065824
Why are they terrible lovers?

Because of their short comings

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>>584065870

>>584065907
A midget and someone with downs syndrome both jump off a cliff, who hits the ground first?

>>584066070
The midget. People with downs syndrome are a bit slow

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Three men wandered to jungles and were captured by a tribe of natives. The chief came to the men and said, "You have crossed our tribal land and now must be punished. You have a choice, Bunda or death."

The first man said,"Well...I don't want to die so I chose Bunda!" The whole tribe lined up and gave it to him up the arse. He crawled away in agony. The chief looked to the second man and told him to choose.

The second man said,"well...that looked painful as hell, but it's better than death...I choose Bunda!" So, again the whole tribe lines up and gives it up the arse to the second man and he crawls away in agony.

The Third man said, "Fuck this, I want DEATH!"

The Chief turn the the tribe and yelled, "DEATH BY BUNDA!!!!"

>>584066143
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

I grew up on a dildo farm until my parents had to close it down.

Too many squatters.

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>>584066197
BUNDA!

>>584065078
you

What does a gay horse say?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY

>>584065078

Racial equality.

Women's rights.

>>584066234
Idk, got 9 of them locked in the basement and it's still dark as fuck down there

>>584066234
Trick question, feminist can't change anything

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>A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
> The barman looks at him and says,
>"Wow, where did you get that from?"
>The parrot replies, "Africa. You should see it,There's fucking loads of 'em."

>>584066973
>I'm transblind, check your lightbulb privilege.

>dark is the new light, quit oppressing me.

>lightbulb is a phallic symbol of the patriarchy. Smash the lightbulbpenis

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>>584066973

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jesus walks into a hotel, puts three nails on the front desk counter and asks the concierge "so, can you put me up for the night?"

/pol/.

>>584065078
If I had sex with two midgets at the same time, would that be bigamy? Kek

>>584065078
My sex life

>>584067437
What the fuck is even happening with /pol/?

>>584065870
an*

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>I have a pakistani who lives next door to me,
>He said the other day to me "I'm a better man than you"
>I said "I never said you fucking wasn't, but what makes you think your a better man than me?"
>He said "I don't have a fucking Paki, living next door to me"

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>>584067437
Tfw

What's 18" long, stiff, and makes women scream in the middle of the night?

A SIDS baby

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>>584065078
Whats the difference between a sexually abused 5 year old and a ferrari?

I don't have a ferrari in my garage...

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did you hear about the nosy pepper?
>it's jalapeno business

>>584067250
hahaha

gonna tell this one at christmas dinner

so, and old couple (70+) who are very devout go to Israel for vacation. while they are there the wife passes away. after the widower has been morning for a week a young mortician comes knocking. "sir, i am so sorry that your beloved wife has passed" continued...

>>584067695
Shorten it to 12 inches and just say "still-birth". Much better delivery and no other explanation needed.

>>584067878
"now good sir, i have a spectacular offer for you today!" , "instead of spending a small fortune having your wife shipped home, you could bury her here for $100!"
now the old man sits and ponders on this for a while , but then gives the mortician his answer " son, many years ago a man died here and three days later, rose from his grave, I CAN'T TAKE THAT FUCKING CHANCE!"

>>584065078
i'd tell you one about jews but i'm afraid ill burn the joke

>>584065078
Alright let's try;

What happends when a jew with a boner runs into a wall?


He breaks his nose

>>584065078
women's rights

>>584065078
what animal is that?

>>584065806
already in reddit

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>>584068596
A horse with downs syndrome

So I was going down on my grandma the other day and I thought to myself, this tastes awfully like horse semen, and then it hit me. That must've been what killed her.

>>584068893
Top tier

>>584068596
tapir

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>>584067497
had to say it out loud before I got it, not too shabby.

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>>584069234
>tapir
this is now a tapir thread

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How do you stop a black baby crying?

Lick it's lips and stick it to the window

I started my new job making smoothies yesterday.

I'm blending in pretty well.

what do you call a nun in a wheelchair

>>584069510
lay it on me

A psychic midget is still eluding police capture today in the nation's capitol. Headline's read "small medium at large".

what would you call the flintstones if they were black....NIGGERS xD

>>584069510
virgin mobile?

There was this inflatable boy, whose Mom and Dad and whole family were inflatable. He went to an inflatable school, where all the staff and students, and even the buildings were inflatable.

One day the inflatable boy took a pin to school. At the end of the day the inflatable boy was called to the Principal's office over the PA system.

The inflatable boy walked into the Principal's office, and the Principal says to him:

"Son, you've let me down, you've let yourself down ... in fact, you've let the whole school down"

>>584069934
but what do you call a nun without a wheelchair?

>>584070043
hit me

>>584070043
a virgin cunt wasting her life when she could be out fucking people like me

>>584070141
a roamin' catholic

Sure white people can't say the n word but at least we can say phrases like "thanks for the warning, officer." And "hey dad"

what's orange and sounds like a parrot?

a carrot.

what's brown and rhymes with snoop?

dr. dre.

your moms so fat she need cheats for the wii fit

>>584069730

AHAHAHAHAHA

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>>584070560

A black guy and a white girl were getting to second base when the white girl whispered in her ear "I want you to show me that it's true what they say about black guys". So he shoots her and steals her purse.

>A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof*... He disappeared without a tres.

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>>584069763

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>>584071192

WHAT DID ONE EYE SAY TO THE OTHER?

JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME-
>SOMETHING SMELLS.

It's such a shitty joke but saying it in a ridiculous way always breaks the ice.

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>>584071192
HAHAHA

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why did the cows boss give him a promotion?
>because he was outstanding in his field

Why did the Dalai Lama visit Los Vegas?
>because he likes tibet.

>>584066803
The joke is what do you feed a gay horse stupid

what do you call a nigger in a sleeping bag?
a mars bar

Whats the difference between a nigger and a pizza?

A nigger can feed a family.

>>584072130
Uh...

>>584071496
Cute

>>584065078
wtf is that fucking animal

>>584072130
You got that backwards

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>>584071807
It's actually either dumbshit, nice try actin like ur smart

Have you heard of the corduroy pillow?
It's making headlines

>>584068596
A donkey-rabbit, dumb ass.

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>>584072373
Actin? Ur?

........

>>584071192
i aint a english speaker, so can you expain it?

>>584065078
What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

my sex life

>>584069763
The Flintstamps, clearly

>>584066070
You shouldn't make fun of midgets and people with downs syndrome, its not big and its not clever.

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>>584068893
Top Tier keks right here niggers

A jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest are sitting in a bar drinking together, and across the street is a playground full of young children. The priest leans over to the rabbi and says, "hey, we should go screw those kids." The rabbi says, "yeah, but out of what?"

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>>584073202

how long does it take a black woman to take a shit? 9 months

i used to wrestle in highschool, but i wasnt any good because I'd just give up after i came.

two catholic priests are driving in a car and a police officer stops them by and asks them: excuse me we are looking for 2 child molesters. the 2 priests look at each other for a short time and answers to the officer : yes we will do it

>>584074039
sry for my poor english...

I take my wife out all the time but she always finds her way home.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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>>584072952
Golden response