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Please someone help me I'm lost in a...
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 250
Thread images: 67
Please someone help me I'm lost in a forest my car broke down what do I do??!!
>>
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put poo on ur face
>>
>>583314668
fap faggot.
Then walk whichever way your cum points you to
>>
Kill yourself
>>
>>583314826

Please I need some legit advice its very cold and I keep hearing noises in the bushes I'm scared !! :(
>>
Use your phone to call AAA instead of asking retards for advice, dumb shit.
>>
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>>583315130
put poo on ur face
>>
>>583315130
Kill yourself
>>
>>583314668
Ask a tall man for directions. He's also very thin. So much so that some people call him slender.

Also, no face.
>>
What state are you in op?
>>
>>583315238

I have 3g but no reception or gps, how do I contact them?
>>
If you have weed.. hotbox your car and chill till morning
>>
>>583314913
never change
>>
>>583315706
They have an app.
>>
>>583315706
you''re fucked.
>>
Get an app that lets you call off your phone.
>>
>>583314893

The knowledge this man has.

Thank you
>>
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>>583315706
put poo on your face
>>
>>583315706
Anhero on stream.
>>
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>>583315797

I will check it out. I'm gonna walk to see if I can find a house or anything...
>>
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>>583316120
put poo on your face
>>
>>583316227

No I will not do that
>>
>>583316357
Lmao OP you're such an idiot to ask us for advice.
>>
>>583316357
What state and what area assuming your from America?
>>
>>583316357
why
>>
>>583316120
Fap while walking. If you see a coll bug, jizz on it.
>>
>>583314826
>>583315383
>>583316070
>>583316227

Genuine autism
>>
>>583316514

I am in northern California.
>>
>>583316357
Take your shit to /x/ instead.
>>
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Put poo on ur face
>>
Contact someone who can actually help ya dingus.
>>
will monitor
>>
>>583316701
Right, watch your step if you do walk around to find something, depending on how cold it is there could be snakes and what not hiding around and you could get rekt. Anyways OP, about that car situation, does it turn over whatsoever? No gas? Battery is kill? What supplies do you have if any at all.
>>
>>583316357
>>583316701
pls put poo on ur face?
>>
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Just scream

Keep screaming U til your throat hurts and your veins start bulging. Start getting hot and sweaty as the blood drips down your innocent shaking mouth. Scream so much that it hurts. Yell help, yell because you scared and angry and alone. It won't help. Your stuck out there op, with the trees and wild beasts. All those noises in the bush and around you, that means there's something actually there. You need to be careful out there in the dark. It could be... Dangerous.
>>
Um guys I walked into the forest a little bit and I just came across this... What should I do ?? :(
>>
Op the best advice i can give to you is put poo on your face. I hope this helps.
>>
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You try putting poo on your face? No one will fuck with you. Poo face is totally anti fuck with.
>>
>>583317101
Can't see shit. Is that a river? You'd probablybe better off sticking to roads.
>>
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>>583317101
poo face
>>
>>583317101
That's a trip wire. Cut it and see what happens. Might make some supplies drop from a tree.
>>
>>583317101
it looks like a giant forest butthole. smear its poo on your face.
>>
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you better run motherfucker

baba yaga is on her way
>>
>>583315706
Nigger, if you have the wifi to connect to the Internet and upload a 1.87 MB picture, you damn sure have the ability to find your fucking location. This is just bad storytelling.
>>
>>583317223

Ill Get a little closer but this is giving me very bad feelings that I shouldn't be here... And I'm not sure if its the wind but I keep hearing things around me... :(((
>>
>>583317383
I'm pretty sure he would notice a house with giant chickenlegs, Anon
>>
>>583317101
What is it? We can't see. Describe it.
>>
>>583317586
this requires poo for ur face


i read this yahoo answer
>>
>>583317586
Closer. Can't read it yet.
>>
>>583317586
looks like the door to a bunker or something with graffiti on it, go in for shelter?
>>
>>583317624

Its some sort of shipping container sticking out of the mountain side .... I can't see much more I do not want to get closer
>>
>>583317867
It's full of little girls and a pedo. Kill him and rescue them for much fame and treasure.
>>
>>583316701
Bro where is the last place you remember being. Like the name of a town or forrest im in nor cal but gotta see where you are
>>
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you gonna be fine OP
>>
This reminds me of The Blair Witch Project
Op gunna die
>>
>>583315706
>3g
>no reception
pick one faggot
>>
Cali?? Def anhero.
>>
>>583317383
Is that a big ass dildo?
>>
>>583315706

OP is a fag, 3g is the same frequency as voice you stupid fuck, there is no way you will get 3g but not voice
>>
>>583317016

Yes the battery is completely shot. I have a couple of knives, an airsoft gun, and a bottle of water. And an inflatable alien from the fair.
>>
>>583317867
Listen too me! Go back to your car now! You stumbled upon what could be a cultivation of weed. You better just sit tight till morning in your car. Shipping containers in the foresst are not good at all i am telling you i live in the forest in nor cal
>>
Or. Rag in gas tank + lighter for warmth. Someone will find car fire. Claim ins. $. Winrar.
>>
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>mfw no poo on face
>mfw 2014
>mfw id jew

The game
>>
>>583318474
I know if your around here its raining something fierce
>>
>>583318486

It does not look like a cultivation though...
>>
>>583314668
stay where you are
>>
you are on internet go to the police website and tell them where you are and stay on the main road until the police come. email me at [email protected] and give the end result. for the mean time find a way to stay warm.
>>
>>583318947
Pic is from dec 05. OP is a fag. Read filename.
>>
>>583319050
Stop.
>>
>>583319050
sauce?
>>
>>583319050
this
>>
>>583319050
>pic taken 8 minutes after midnight
>OP says he has shitty connection so seems reasonable
>>
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>>583315130
>>
http://youtu.be/ZMpMkXApST4?t=33s
>>
Just let OP tell the story.
>>
>>583315130
>>
>>583314668
Fucking Google maps your ass by your gps location
>>
>>583315130
The fuck do you expect, NOT to hear noises in the bush of a forest?
>>
Hzbsbsbd
>>
OP Go back to your car.
You've seen The Human Centipede....
>>
OP is kill
>>
>>583319050
>Northern California
>time zones
>>
Bump for the shitty story telling
>>
>>583314668
Iz B frozen? Pls let it doe
>>
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poo=face
>>583316580
>see brightly colored bottles
>see MP-40s
>dakka.jpg
>Hope there's some sort of "Jew-juice" joke happening here
>see filename
>mfw
>>
>>583318947
Open it. But first smear some poop on your face, it'll help you camouflage.
>>
You're making memories man go explore those woods
>>
Continue your fake ass story OP, I want to know how it ends. And yes, pooh on face
>>
>>583316120

This is how horror movies start... Yes.
>>
>>583319503
>>583319509
>>583319517
>>583319521
>>583319456
iz B freeze? pls respond
>>
>>
download skype, call cops..
>>
Please take better photos, they look like they have good potential
>>
Pimp that bitch with leaves and twigs
>>
>>583319561
Yea, it did for me
>>
>>583319561
B is freeze, newfriend.
Shit happens around once a month :^)
>>
>>583316730
Stfu you jew
>>
Can we post again?
>>
OP what happened next
>>
Nope not posting yet just wait a few min
>>
>>583317764
Sauce?
>>
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I summon OP so he continue his trilling story
>>
and then he died, alright people lets get outta here
>>
/b/ is not frozen for me
>>
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Panic
>>
we could have helped him.
he could have been saved.
we had the answers.
if only we could post.
>OP dead
>>
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>>583318947

Go inside. Sit quietly, use voice recorder on phone to check for EVP. With poo on your face.
>>
>>583318947
well whatever he found in this container maybe killed him
OP is dead
>>
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Hold on to your inflatable alien and pray..
>>
looks like you got no choice now but to put poo on your face
>>
OP is kill
>>
Hey OP, let me introduce you to Bubba. He's got a nice spot picked out for you ext to the radiator.
>>
How does the story end, you massive faggot?
>>
LOLOL
>>
>>583319162
Nah, it's a skeleton
>>
dude chill ur over reacting that why ur scared... call or try locating the cops on their website... ull be fine!
>>
>>583319947
are you a wizard?
>>
>>583318374
this
>>
>>583318474
Ayy lmao
>>
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>>583314893
> 10/10 post.
>>
dig a hole like a rabbit and meet a friendly family of moles, that can welcome you in for the night
>>
OP is kill
>>
>>583320083
he might be talking about phone reception, cause i had 4g in the bush but no phone reception
>>
>>583319947
huh
>>
lol u fags scared off the OP
>>
OP is kill
>>
>>583318947
the container either says
JOE WOK HERE
or
JOE WAS HERE
or something else

>joe gon rape him
>>
Fuck you OP, you are dead, why? We told you to put pooh on face! But you wouldN,t listen!
>>
>>583314668

you should buy a dog
>>
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>>583319947
Nice IDeedee bruh
>>
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>>583318947
You are almost to my home, friend. Please make yourself comfortable.
>>
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>>
OP is on mr bones wild ride

RIP OP
>>
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>>583319947
You fucking queers make me wanna fucking puke!
>>
>>583314826
now tighten your buttocks, pour juice on your chin, promise your girlfriend violin.
>>
>>583320473
you must be experiencing rectal pains from my swag?
>>
OP ARE YOU THERE
>>
>>583316580
What every orgasm should feel like
>>
OP Here, I'm fine, I am following the direction of my cum
>>
>>583317586
>
back to /x/ faggot
>>
can anyone pull exif data from the images?
>>
op is kill
>>
>>583320645
exif was disabled on 4c back in march newfag
>>
>>583316580
If anyone's curious, that man's youtube channel is Hickok45. He's the greatest man on youtube.
>>
>>583318947
go inside, its safer
you might get surprise attacked by a bear or rickey medlocke
>>
>>583320623
ID check required
>>
>>583320697
What about the sexif data. It stands for secret exif. It's for government surveillance.
>>
>>583320769
oh ya i hax that shit all the tiem
>>
>>583320769
Cant trust you. You're a jew
>>
RIP OP
>>
Two jews in one thread. Can't trust shit anymore its all a jew plot.
>>
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g-guys, is 4chan broken?????

WHATS HAPPENING???
>>
>>583314668

Text me at 7807136835. I'll come get you.
>>
>>583314668
>>583315130
>>583315706
>>583316120
>>583316357
>>583316701
>>583317101
>>583317586
>>583317867
>>583318474
>>583318947
op is fucking retarded get in your car and wait till morning, also you should fuck your blowup alien for comfort
>>
>>583314668
Is that car window shattered?
>>
>>583321060
the jews were the ones that stole mr pebbles i know you know it, why dont we riot in the streets?
>>
>>583321060
The jews killed OP for sure
>>
>>583319312
Yeah, but what does he do AFTER that?
>>
Elfin Forest
>>
tits or gtfo
>>
>>583318947
what is this someone please explain :)
>>
>>583321060
the jews created hitler from a test tube
>>
>Lost and stuck
>I know what to do!
>"4chan what do i do?!
>Mfw
>Posting on the internet while lost and temporarily trapped in the woods
>>
unfortunately op came across a nerve gas build up as a residue from taliban AA guns and died of eternal bleeding
>>
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>>583321334
>Op dies
>mfw natural selection at work
>>
>>583319865
That picture reminds me of my Friday nights.
>>
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>>583321140
shit's frozen because of CP overload
>>
Fuckin retad's can't even maintain their car.

-/o/
>>
>Step one of survival:
Don't leave your fucking vehicle

>Step 2
Use vehicle as shelter

>Step 3
Utilize all communications to contact loved ones / authorities
So what does OP do? He fucking leaves his ready-made shelter, and uses his precious phone battery/internet access to shitpost on 4chan.

Try emailing all your family your estimated location, DUMB FUCK
>>
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>>
>>583320496
FRONTIER PYSCHIATRY!
>>
Is the catalog broke for anyone else?

>>583314668
You're dead, op. Some big tree monster is going to buttfuck and kill you.
>>
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Dont let this shit 404
>>
>>583321358
movie? game? either way I want in
>>
>>583321592
you really can't tell this is an attempt at a creepy story yet? I thought the blow up alien gave it away
>>
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have fun with scaly man fish, op
>>
>>583321930
pour bailey's on that mother fucker
>>
>>583321592
>Step 4
Put pooh on face
>>
timestamp or bate
>>
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>>583321902
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVQrozMTWlY
>>
>>583321813
catalog is kill
>>
>>583322001
ayyyy lmao

also guys why the fuck won't 4chan work properly
>>
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>>583322059
FBI is lurking
>>
Step 1: Sing the he Lost woods theme from OoT

Step 2: Go into the woods alone

Step 3: Chase after the tall skinny man, he'll know what to do

Step 4: Tweet it

Step 5: Take selfie with the man

Step 6: Get raped.

You'll be just fine.
>>
>>583322059
i think all janitors are dead or something.
>>
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>>
>>583322191
they do it for freeee
>>
>>583319947
ayy lmao.
winrir there m8 :^)
also
>but what if OP is not kill?
>>
>>583322169
OH SHIT, HIDE THE GHOSTIES!
>>
>>583322169
wut
>>
>>583322001
holy shit thanks anon!
>>
>>583322293
>>583322191

There's no mods/janitor anymore on /b/
>>
>>583318425
>mfw
>>
OP WOULD BE PROUD THAT hIS THREAD SURVIVED HIM
>>
split up to cover more ground
if you come across someone who looks scary run twords the lake while looking back twords them
then swim to safety
>>
Where did OP go? Did he deaded?
>>
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>>583319947
gif related
>>
>>583322001
trips dubs? i dunno, just nice get
>>
Whatever you, DO NOT summon a demon with blood from a cut on your penis while facing East.
>>
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OP is probably running for his life or already getting raped

good for him.
>>
>>583321398
Omg, he flunged his stool at her. Hope he used stool softner.
>>
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>>583322001
>332200 holy shit triple dubs
>>
>>583320743
Down in Tenessee, where the weather is always beautiful.
>>
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>>583322179
>>
>>583322389
Are you serious? How will old breads be removed and what about >>>/mlp/ threads and faggy things like that.
>>
>>583322000
>>
>>583322726
'Singng' In a not to distant future....
>>
>>583317281
Kek
>>
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>>
Has OP dieded?
>>
>>583322826
Only on /b/.
>>
Dont your car has like a gps navigator thing ? Cant you just call for emergency and they will track you down , and how the hell did you got there?
>>
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/B/ IS BORKEN BUT /POL/ WORKS

WHAT DO?!?!?!?!

>captcha
I bet the Jews did this.
>>
So far we know that OP was lost in forest, he ventured out of his car, he opened a container he found, was attacked by the jews it contained, he did not pooh on face, some brony got fucking magic ID and then the thread goes on
>>
Those alien webms were 3spooky6me mang.
>>
op died
>>
>>583323280
And /b/ is broken
>>
which forest????
>>
>>583319947
You posted earlier so you already knew your id you limey fuck.
>>
>>583315541
HAHA EPIC MAYMAY DUDE XD
>>
>>583319947
wat
>>
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>>583319247
>>
IF YOU'RE BOARD AND YOU WANT SOMETHING 2 DO

COME TO THIS THREAD TO FUNPOST AND WATCH NORK TV

>>>/pol/39708159

mms://121.167.43.161/chosun
http://www.pyongyangtrafficgirls.com/t293-north-korea-tv-kctv-live-stream
>>
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>>583323732
nice id
ew, heh
>>
>>583323483
95% of us are limey fuck for having fell for the bait
>>
I-i-is 4chan frozen?
>>
>>583323902
Yup
>>
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>>583323902
kinda
>>
>>583323827
>mfw im 5%
>>
Where were u when OP ded?
I was at home when phone rang
was best friend rashid
"Op is kill"
no
>>
4chan is gone
>>
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>>
File: hacking.gif (2 MB, 250x141) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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2 MB, 250x141
>>583324143
4chin . . . . HACKED
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>>583316721
>not /out/
>the fucking best at this shit

stay in your car you fucking retard.
wait till sunrise, much safer than to wander and waste battery life at night.
>>
>>583320496
Best song to listen to on ketamine
>>
Image 4chan would be forever these only available threads on catalogs...And when all threads reach image limit, then it would just be about text.
>>
Wow, im surprised this is still alive. I was able to get a shot of part of the inside before I heard a loud BANG noise coming from inside of the crate. I ran away super fast and got back into my car. The windows fogged up shortly after and I couldn't see anything outside ... Then something started to throw small pebbles at my windshield!!! I was so scared I crawled into my trunk(from the inside )... The rocks kept coming until some bright lights showed up in the window and I jumped out of my car screaming for help and the person stopped and gave me a lift to the gas station that was 15 miles away. I got a taxi home but my car is still in the woods. When I go to get it tommorow I will post on /b/ to update.

Pic related of the crate before the bang and I had to book it. Phone died shortly after.
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File: 1396458576044.jpg (495 KB, 1600x1200) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1396458576044.jpg
495 KB, 1600x1200
>>583317764
sauce ?
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>>583324396
He lives!
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>>583324396
Aww, shit ghost face on right side
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>>583324396
Op survived!
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>>583324396
HOLLY SHIT OP!!!! WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GLAD YOURE ALIVE!
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>>583319031

>email me at

first time on the internet? cool.
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>>583324396
OP is kill don trust him
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>>583324473
... Im going to need a red circle for that one
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>>583324396
You might be cursed op tell us if any other weird stuff happens
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>>583324396
fuck you skinwalking piece of shit
Thread replies: 250
Thread images: 67
Thread DB ID: 24957



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