/b/ help me

>>581942659
Elaborate.

>>581942659
roll numbers?

>>581943049

>>581942659
charge dat phone, nigger

>>581942659
>known for a month
Don't be a clingy faggot, op

Veronica is an ugly whore name OP, you're better off without her

Been going on dates with this girl for a month, total QT3.14
We hit it off perfectly. Only problem has uncontrollable flatulence..... I know

>>581942659

so fucking beta

>>581942659
What did you do Wednesday? Give us full story before we can offer anything.

>>581943521
A month is an EXTEMELY INSIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF TIME
How fucking underaged are you?

>>581943521
Tell her to fuck off

>>581942659
Give us numbers to roll...
I need to know how tall she is and how old she is.
My first thing that came to mind is to send her a dick pic. But that's way to obvious. Send her a butt pic. I have a pretty nice ass so lmk what you do yung nigha

tell her you love her and want babies you will never get another chance with a woman op fuck this up and be alone forever

Any roll in the 50s chooses what I say next

>>581942659

KEK she says "Hey" and "Maybe yea" then you reply with "I've known you for a month and you've never texted like this, you ok? lol"....

Jesus OP....she's interested in you enough to give you her number....

Just reply "well we're gonna go on a date on X, and see where it goes from there"
X=the date of your choice OP, don't make it in ONE DAY, make that bitch wait at least a week.

>>581943521
Just fucking be honest with her, you retard. If she's upset, who cares? If two people don't want the same things, they shouldn't bother dating.

>>581943882
You my main bitch

charge your phone faggot

>>581944057
WINTER

>>581943882
Make me a sandwich, bitch. And make it proper, make sure you cut it in triangles, not fucking rectangles. Do you understand or do I need to guide you through it?

>>581944057
10/10

>>581944057
Kek winrar

Hey OP, I'm in the same boat right now. Just be honest with her.

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>>581944057
God damnit anon

>>581944567
I don't like how you're not my main girl...
I want to you to be more.

>>581944567
Hah, faggot.

>>581944567
Dont worry, I will treat you well as my main slut

>>581944191
Reroll

>>581944567
now tell her " you my main bitch all my other bitches come after you"

add numbers op

>>581944701
roll

Niggers tongue my anux

>>581944567
Well, this wouldn't have happened if you were just HONEST WITH HER YOU FUCKING NIGGER DICK

>>581944851
Weiner

>>581944567
Wow, I'm sorry. I really like you and want to be a couple. I don't know how you feel though...

Say
"Well what do you mean" or
"Well what do you want to be?"

>>581944567
You're like my best friend (Main Bitch) but at the same time i think I've fallen for you. And I'd love to spend the rest of my life with you. Can you come over and lets watch some movies bby?

Text back what you want to be. That is obvious./
captcha, 9000

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>>581944851
Kek'd at this one, major anxiety now though

>>581944985
Shameless self bump

do you want me to tell you about my spiritual other kin, a wolf fox hybrid named xyzr?

>>581945218
Yes bitch, you my main bitch. You da first bitch. Other bitches are like, number two and shit.

Look im so desperate for you that I made a thread on 4chan asking people what to reply next

your life is now controlled by /b/ enjoy faggot

>>581945218
i figure out that if you dont show them you will lose your privilege

Say
I want to lick your cornhole

My other bitches, we all live together, I want you to move in with us and share their corners.

>>581945485
Roll

>>581945558

Shit win

>>581945218
Take your legs and wrap them five times around my head. I like that shit if you know what I'm saying. Do you know what I'm saying? I'll call you, and say it again, so you know what I'm saying, if you don't know what I'm saying, know what I'm saying?

>>581945558
Winwer

op, say this now...

Im just kidding, I honestly don't know, I'm wanting to take this slow. But I like where its going.

>>581945558
don't post that shit any references to /b/ should always be gnored

>>581945218

I liked it, souded like a man. Ket it up. "Don't be upset, babe, just want you to know I ain't putting no bitches in front of you"

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>>581945650
Not counting other one cause it'd kill the thread, she knows what /b/ is. I talk to her about you guys sometimes

Write this: "My bad. I'm just high right now lol what I mean is that I really like you and I want 'us' to go somewhere. Do you feel the same?

>>581946190

Listen, I know about your uncontrollable flatulence situation. I know, i don't discriminate, but i want to be there for you. I have a way to help you too. Let me plug up that area with my cock and it should stop your chronic farting.

Stfu bitch d u forget that last time the drink a gave you, there's semen inside that

>>581946190

i should have told you this earlier, but by law i have to tell you that I am a registered sex offender

>>581946262
BUMP

>>581946190

That shit works, see how she is much more playful now? Don't be a beta retard.

>>581946190
ask her to be the new queen

>>581946287
Reroll

>>581946337

I fucking want this^^^

DUBS CONFIRMS NO GOD

>>581946278

rerolling

>>581946190
Im sorry, Been shooting up with some friends, Want to hang out sometime? Maybe go see the new Hunger games.

>>581946575

by shooting up, he means missouri

Yeah totally. I think you should come over and we can fuck doggy style.

No, I mean my other girlfriends.

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>>581943521
well do YOU want to be with her?

>>581946278
Roll

Send her first pic on ur iphone

>>581946190
Been planning a new massacre for a few weeks now, I need someone to help me out and I've always thought of you as someone I can count on

>>581946190
You have a retard name

yeah baby, they're just dogs to me, but you, you are my prized pedigree. I want to put my head between your legs and wear you like the crown you are. Then I'll tickle your belly button... From the inside

>>581944567
Thank you based op

>>581946190
Charge your fucking phone you pleb

Im kiking like a horny 8 year old right now

>>581946954
Winchester

>>581946190
of course i mean dogs you know you my only Bae I want us to take the next step I feel like we are really close im going to stop going to the seedy korean massage parlor and im going to get the treatment for my hep C

>>581946912
rollz

>>581946954
Winrar

>>581946954
Do this OP

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>>581946954
>ohshitnigger.jpg

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>>581946954
Winter

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>>581947292

Send her a pic of Jon Stewart

>>581947292
OP!! this is where you stop taking advice from /b/ and go get laid

>>581947292

What the fuck? What a twisted fucking slut this girl is.

>>581947292
i wanna fuck you in your vagina. If you know what i mean ;)

>>581947292
fucking hell OP this is hilarious. So other than flatulence do you have any other problems? Cus frankly, that could just be a medical issue, and worse comes to worse, inundate yourself with Brazilian fart porn and turn it into a fetish

>>581947292
shoving my whole arm up in here, tickling you with my pinkie.

>>581947292
So when's this going down ;)?

>>581947292

"Jk i'm gay lol"

>>581947480
REROLL I NEED THIS KEK

>>581947292
Mang it's pretty obvious she likes ya, so what's the issue? If you like her, tell the bitch you're going on another date. If you don't, tell her to kindly fuck off.

>>581947534
it's called having a sense of humor you god damned celibate

>>581947292
i try to masterbate but i dont have enoug to one and wen i cum it isnt whole and my masterbate is fire, wat do i???''?

>>581947292
Then get over here right now so i can throw you on this god damn bed and fuck you like the whore you are

>>581947652
Winrar

>>581947292
Don't push it too hard, just let it flow like a fart in the wind

>>581947486
This. Just ask her when

>>581947652

You don't make any fucking sense. It wasn't funny, it was just stupid.

>>581947693
Rolling for this.

I know it doesn't. That's why we should make it happen this week, if you think you can handle it.. ;)

It'll be the best 45 seconds of your life.

>>581947652
Don't fucking post this. OP just post John Stewart

Wow you fags are really believing this shit?
>inb4 OP pulls the weekly "tell anon he's a faggot" or some other unoriginal bullshit.

>>581947292
look girl i know we have just being a casual thing so far but i want to take it to the next level i want us to stop using rubbers

Post your uncircumcised dick OP

>>581947292
me. you. anal. now.

JON STEWART pic

>>581947750
WINRAR

This chick will send nudes (781) 718-2846

>>581947949
THIS

>>581947750
advice must be taken, he rolled 50, op

>>581947815
Errol

>>581947486
this

OP get off here and go get it

The only sound you'll be hearing is me grunting in agreement when you tell me to fuck you harder

>>581947292
ATTA FUKKIN BOI, GO GET SUM

>>581948149
Veronica,

I should tell you... my penis is very small so I may be able to just barely penetrate your wizard sleeves. I hope that is okay?

>>581947949
this

>>581947486
Do dis, your welcome...

GET SUM NIG

>>581945485
roll

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OH SHIT NIGGA YOU IN TO DEEP

no hoe i just want to suck your clit and then have your dog lick my balls (with that nice pb nigga)

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>>581947750
GOD DAMNIT NOOOOO

OP is gone. Gone to do better this.

>>581947292

Just don't fart while I am down there

>>581948416
rip

>>581948416
topkek

>>581947292
Ha, fucking saved on that one.

Honestly OP, if you like her, want her, and kind of think you might end up loving her...

Just be honest. Bitches dont ask that question unless they having emotions for you.

>>581948416
Ugh, why you gotta do that babe ;-;

>>581948449

nevermind he failed

>>581948416
gg

>>581947486
>>581947750
>>581947990
>>581948136
>>581948316
Look at all this OP. you better get laid faggot.

>>581948416
reroll
>>581947665

>>581948416
Eat a dick then, bitch. If you don't like this dick, eat a fucking dick, bitch.

>>581948416

You have been seeing this bitch for a month and she hasn't put out? Why are you still here?

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>>581948416
FUCK

Too worried you won't be able to hold in those farts?

>>581948416
ur pussy prolly smells like shit anyways

>>581948416
DENIIEED KEK

>>581948416
rip OP

I wasn't and I don't find your "joke" too funny.

>>581943521

>uncontrollable flatulence

everyone fell for this ruse?

really?

>>581948614
reroll

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>>581948416
You suck ass OP. Fuck it I'm out

Op is a faggot

>>581948416
Topkek

bitch you gonna take this D or nah

>>581948416
retard, you should have kept the little sexual joking going and done mine >>581948149

>>581948653
Winrar.

>>581948416
i know lol

Kekd so fucking hard. RIP OP. Blueballed to death

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>>581948416
Damage control, OP, maximum damage control!

>>581948606
Nevermind. I take all this back. I am shamefully abandoning this thread because OPs girl is a bitch

nah you arent and im not fucking kidding either. I want to get elbow deep in you

>>581948690
Rolland

>>581948416
"I wasnt"

>>581948804
> "Roll in 50's to win"
> Rolls 49
> Gets pissed because OP follows rule and doesn't use it...

>>581948416
Hahah sorry, kinda high right now and it sounded funny.

I don't know what we are, what do you think we are?

>>581947292
FUCKING YOUTH IN REVOLT COPYPASTA!

>>581948690
coROLLa

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>>581948416
Well you did get fucked op. Just not how you wanted

>>581948416
This is going to happen whether you want to or not

>>581948913

WINRAR

>>581948416
"I'm high as fuck right now" then stop responding.

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>>581948416
Tell her to an hero.

>>581948416
you wont be joking when I shoulder deep in you plum pudding love cave

You shouldn't kid around I just might be serious.

this is too funny. such fail

>>581948991
This, yes.

Confidence, OP. you can git deh pooseiy

Youre beautiful, its true.

Dude, spam dick pics and tell her you love her and all that shit. Then, an hero on twitch

Tell her "no you weren't. You wish you could get a guy like me"

>>581948690
Roll

I'm sorry Veronica i say crazy shit when my herpes flare up

"Okay, I will just commit suicide as I planned then..this was my last attempt at life"

>>581948991
fucking this

I wanna fuck you in your vagina. If you know what i mean ;)

>>581949123
yes this.

>>581949353
WINRAR

>>581948991
OP, IF YOU ARE NOT YET KILL,

do this. screw the bullshit all other fags are sayin.

"Haha yeah haha, *pats you in the back*, hey want to um... get married *nervously scratches head*"

>>581949469
lmfao

>>581948653

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>>581948653
FUCK I MET THIS GIRL AT THE GYM WITH MY FRIEND BRANDON. HE WAS SQUATTING WHEN SHE WALKED UP TO US. FUCKKKK YOU B

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>>581949353
One metric Winrar

durka durka muhammad jihad

Blame it on your autism

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>>581948416
817 keks

>>581949575
psh brandon is my second bitch but i think your ho ass just moved him up to main bitch now you ratchet ass trick

>>581949575
Do this
>>581949353

>>581949575
show her the thread u fag

>>581949575
its your fucking fault you autist

>>581949575
man, this just got weird

>>581948653
winrar

>>581949575
Good, if you eat Brandon's ass, that means the plan worked.

>>581949575
You nigger this is Brandon. I wanted to get with you but i didnt want you to know so i used (ops phone) but fuck you. Go fuck (op) you whore

>>581949575
>eat brandon's ass
what in the actual fuck? you say eat dick and she says eat ass. tell your buddy brandon he can get a rim job from veronica's slutty ass

I'm sorry my love. I'm just so emotionally hurt. I really like you and imagine cuddling you every night. Will you hold me?

>>581949643
Nigger, are you watching Team America on comedy central too!?

>>581949575
You're such a queer OP

Baby, I want to make you scratch my skin and scream in extasy so loud that even god will know how thankful you are for being born with such a sweet clit.

I bet a sharpie in the pooper would stop your farting.

>>581949747
It's not even funny, dude

you do you then, pimpin. Imma do me. Deuces

Shit I'm sorry that wasn't supposed to be sent to you that was for someone else. What I actually wanted to say was if you wanted to go on a date with me sometime?

I gave him herpes so enjoy your herpes bitch

>>581949818
this

>>581949575
>trusting b

>>581949575
tears are being shed

Op, all you had to do was give info or stop taking the advice. Youd be a pussy ass fggt bitch, but youd be porking some nasty beaner chick while she ate your asshole.

>>581949865
shameless reroll

>>581949575
If you are care for this bitch, show bitch thread and then abandon it.

If not, hang around and stop whining.

>>581949575
Look just chill im only jkin. Anyways I really want to take our relationship to the next level

>>581942659
ahahahhahaa, nigga you got this girl not knowing if you're fuck buddies or an item, well played

brandons dick is tiny your welcome to it but you should know i gave hepatitisB and C

>>581949575
yeah like Brandon would go fucking near you, he said you don't even fucking lift you fat cunt. lol just texted him he said he puked at the thought. dumb bitch

>>581949869
Fuck Yeah

>>581949904
Wasn't meant to be, homie.

Fuck Brandon

>>581949954
roll

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>>581949575

>>581949952
Are you a nignog?

>>581948690
this

>>581949575
This thread is painful.

Clearly you don't give two shits about this girl. Thread dropped.

>>581948690
Roll

You rum ham nigger pig bitch faggot.

>>581948690
nigger this

>>581950116
reroll

>>581950051
THIS

>>581949869
I'm watching that right now!

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>>581949952
DENNIS METHOD, MY NIGGA

Tell her you're bisexual and brandon is gay, and you and him suck each others dicks

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Suck fat cock hoe.

Op fucked up, hes off to kille brandon before ass eating commences.

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>>581950068
God Bless America

JON STEWART PIX

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rip in peice op :'(

>>581949575
>"awgh, regina dont do me like this!"

>>581950383
Fucking key

You'd pick a filthy fucking nigger over the master Aryan race like me? What kind of filthy whore are you?

Let me suck the darts out of your sweet brown eye darling <3

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>>581950383
rip

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>>581950383
so want to come over sometime or nah?

>>581949575
Pls bro just tell her you're high I can't watch you fuck yourself over anymore.

>>581949575
Oh fuck off faggot, first you say you won't use winrar because it'll end the thread then you pull this shit?! I'm calling shenanigans.

>>581950383
I never wanted to fuck your nigger ass anyway, NIGGER.

You tell me what you want us to be that I'll let you know if thats what I think we are, deal?

>>581950383
I would like to cum on your feet though

>>581950383

hahaha she's so confused. honestly if she hasn't given up on you by now you should marry her

>>581950383
I'm a full on rapist

>>581950297
rolling

>>581950383
Do you want to advance our relationship?

>>581950383
thank you. thank you. I GAVE YOU SUDDEN DEATH. GO FORTH AND SMASH MY BROTHER

ps - this is a typical basic bitch. Talk down to her, small argument ensues and she thinks she is the shit, then you threaten to leave and she doesnt want you to

>>581950383
nah i aint waitin for shit bitch, im sick of your uncontrollable flatulence

>>581950383
Ayy let me suck the farts out of that ass

>>581950556
Op add photo too!!

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>>581950556
one metric winrar

>>581950635

Lol faggot

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How about this. you come over, we fuck and make up?

Is this your way of saying you want me to eat your ass? Cause I'd be down for that. I'll slide my tongue in and out so fast you'd swear it was a dick

Skullfuck you right through your eye socket

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>>581944567
You my main bitch... that was gold!! TOPKEK!! ANON DELIVARED!!

>>581950383
wait what? im gonna sip this drink and fuckin chill. now if you want some, bitch speak up.

>>581950556
Ohhhhhh dis gon be gud

>>581950806
this

>>581942659
>I've known you for a month

look baby lets quit all this bs are you ready to take things to the next level i think we have gotten really close and i think we should start raw dogging

>>581950957
This

>>581950383
Look how about you come over tomorrow and we can talk this out. Im serious. Take it or leave it

>>581950896
RR

>>581950957
WINNAR!!!

op you're a fucking moron, go an hero yourself you depressed socially awkward fuck

done trying to help this dipshit

>>581951024
roll

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>>581950556
Holy shit

>>581950556
rolling for this

Darren Wilson is a good man.

>>581946575
rollin for this

Surprise, cockbag

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>>581949575
Back to fucking your hand faggot

>>581951185
BULLSHIT

I want to lap the sour white cheese out of your lizard hole

Can I suck the darts outta that asshole mommy

>>581951185
lol awesome

>>581951185
Send me a pic of that pussy

>>581951185
She's just fucking with you.

>>581951185
Sorry, I don't fuck niggers.

>>581951185
holy shit this is so fake

>>581951185
Oh fuck ahahaha

JON STEWART I WILL NOT STOP

>>581951185
this bitch is a tease. call her out on it. tell either stop teasing and make it real or gtfo

>>581951185

troll as fuck

>>581951185
damn dude this bitch is a winner. Did you say she farts all the time?

>>581951185
i can't find the park exit

>>581951319

rolling

>>581950957
technical winrar..
but my reply is best if you wanna get laid. This /b/ro redeemed my roll >>>581951157

>>581951319
roll

>>581950556
Supreme gentleman>>581951185


You're welcome op. Bang that slut and remember how /b/ got you in dat v

>>581951185
Get your whore ass over here then. But before you leave i want you to send me pictures and tease me

I wanna have consensual sex with you in the missionary position for the soull purpose of procreation.

>>581951185
Confirmed OP is texting himself, gg

Time and place ;)

>>581951185
sluttt

>>581951126
HEAVEN

I am so sick and tired of your piece of shit antics. Fuck a cow you hogger, you probably love that shit anyway. Yeah, your cow shit stains smell of whey grass in the morning nigger, you can't fucking hide from that.

I don't know who you are or why you bitch out people, but when I find out what your e-mail address is, prepare to get spammed to oblivion. You won't tolerate the burn any longer Heaven, you piece of shit dank ass mother fucker.

proof that it's fake shit

nothing to see here guys

what are we?

"overthinking it"

This is definitely fake…

Yeah time for the ole switcheroo

"Baby come over and lets watch The Notebook together. I'll make you some warm milk ;)"

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>>581951185
You're welcome faggot. anyway she is pretty good at bullshitting trolling game. Good luck OP going out now.

"haha ok girl, well see what we can do about that tomorrow" add the ;) iphone emoji

dont include this picture, not realted like last time you faggot.

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>>581951185
i call sheninigans

>>581951348
this

>>581951185
OP I am calling the internet police under suspicion of telling lies on the internet

This ain't tennis. Stop playing gurl. Do you want the D or not?

>>581951448
roooooolll for this

(781) 718-2846

i'm so gay i'm so gay

Who's heaven

Stop being a teasing bitch. Are we gonna fuck or no. If not leave me the fuck alone.

I just got a girls number, guys how soon is too soon to text? The same day? Tomorrow? A week?

I NEED ADVICE

>>581950957
Winxest