/b/ ITT: stories that make you fear ordinary objects. pic related

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>>577912961

>>577913110
Impressive ID bro

>>577912961
You fat piece of shit i hope you change yourself now or you are dead

>>577913110
YOU EYE 4P

>>577913110
Maybe I can have id like this somedae

- Jofephus Heirat

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>>577913110
you eye bro

>>577913110
Nice

>>577913110

YOU SIR IS FUCKING GOD

>>577913110
aw shiet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1VrzgeG7jk

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Imagine that, if the oxygen is actually a hallucinogenic substance and everything we see isn't real. Reality is when we black out, when not breathing.

that had to be a huge fat guy in that pic, so when the chair broke he couldnt break his fall or change his balance whatsoever, then that immense weight came straight down and remained on the jagged base of the chair

>>577913883
chinese gang signs

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>>577913883

>>577913883
DDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN""""""TTTTTTTTTT DDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD GGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>577913883
>posting this
>some newfag sees it and dies
Here we go!

>>577912961
when i was 12 my uncle raped me with a sausage, now im always fearing the wurst

>>577914365
Nice

You eye?

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>>577914365

>>577914365
>>577914365
7/10 i kek'd

>>577913883
my hand is turning blueish wtf anon!

>>577914637
get to a hospital NOW

>>577914637
U dun goofed. R.I.P random faggot, 11/2/14 never forget.

http://www.aliexpress.com/item/Memory-foam-wrist-support-mouse-pad-memory-foam-wrist-support-mouse-pad-hand-mouse-pad/676310835.html

Or get this mousepad to avoid death you fucking faggots.

>>577913883
Mate

fuck you guys, my left hand is cold and blue. Im waiting for the ambulance

>>577914637
welcame an hero

>>577913883
what is this? i can't read japanese

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>>577914365

>>577913883
wtf is this supposed to do?

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I got splinters on multiple occassions from wood and scrap metal.

I can't touch plywood or metal things without being conscious about it.

>>577914637
let it RIP in peace nigga

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>>577915173

>>577913883
Wtf my hand feels really weird bro what does this do?

>>577915361
this kills the man

>>577915361
hue hue hue
it makes your hand go numb
and fucks with your blood flow
badly

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Bought this motherfucker with headrest, life is good.

>>577915173
Timestamp, you faggot.

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>>577912961
>fear ordinary objects
One time the condom broke
I got scared
Now I no longer use condoms, because I'm afraid of them

>>577913883
can someone explain?

>>577915669
first it cuts off the bloodflow
then the nerve reception
then all feeling

its literally how to turn off your hand and all bloodflow to it

>>577915572
no time for shit,fck you guys my left hand is my dominant hand. i think its here

>>577915210
its chinese

>>577915210
it's chinese

You know it's Japanese if they have characters that look pretty easy to write combined with complicated characters.

You know it's Chinese if it's all complicated symbols.

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I'm afraid if keyboards....OH SHIT

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>>577915636
One time, I saw a hole in the floor
I got scared
Now I no longer use floors,
because I'm afraid of them

>>577915571
what is it called? i want it

>>577915210
get off my /ブ/ faggot
DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU

>>577913883
This is just a therapeutic way to deal with carpal tunnel.

Newfags

>>577915931
That is called a chair.

>>577916157
smartass

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>>577912961

>>577915931
google CHAIRMAN CH 426, works well, there is no model with headrest though, i had CHAIRMAN CH 769 that was pretty dead so i just recasted it.

>>577916291
dumb bunny

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満子

>>577915396
>I got splinters
Man the fuck up, sook.

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>>577916157
>picture
>calling it a chair
being this unillustrated

>>577916304
tfw pissing around corners

>>577916304
im virgin forever now

>>577916440
just don't let someone ride you...

>>577915396
Use gloves. Most any construction area or workshop has something you can use. There's even cheapy $2 ones at Home Depot that are meant for handling plywood. Don't stop creating things Anon...

>>577913883
>>577915361


'Press the point method
Spontaneous position, the distribution of the median nerve and palmar artery, massage here can be a good middle relief nervous fatigue , and rash blood vessels. The acupoint three stripes in the middle of the wrist, palm longus and flexor muscle distribution here, good relaxing massage where you can palm muscles. '

Its a massage to relieve cramping and to prevent 'mouse hand' , some condition from overuse of a computer mouse

>>577916304
?implying 98% of /b/ doesnt already fear pussy

>>577912961
That should make your fear being fat as fuck...Not basic office chairs. Fucking christ...

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>>577916923

>>577913110
I bet I have a better ID

This entire fucking thread.

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>>577916923

>>577913110
i eye you faggot

>>577914365
>the wurst

>>577917303
z wot m8 ?

>>577915952
why the fuck you goddamn worthless gaijin it would be /ビ/

jesus christ that made me angrier than it should have

>>577915396

I work at a saw mill and it's hard to wear gloves when you're grading lumber. Your hands just get so rough that splinters rarely hurt or happen.

>>577913883
Mustard gas.

>>577915571
thin privilege is being able to buy any chair and not have to worry about whether or not it can support you

>>577918241
weeb fag pls go

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>>577912961

>>577918562
What the desu did you just fucking desu about me, you little desu? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my desu in the Navy Desus, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret desus on Al-Desu, and I have over 300 confirmed desus. I am trained in desu warfare and I’m the top desu in the entire US armed desu. You are nothing to me but just another desu. I will desu you the fuck out with desu the likes of which has never been seen before on this desu, mark my fucking desu. You think you can get away with saying that desu to me over the desu? Think again, desu. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of desu across the USA and your desu is being traced right now so you better prepare for the spam, maggot. The spam that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your desu. You’re fucking desu, kid. I can be desu, desu, and I can desu you in over desu ways, and that’s just with my bare desu. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed desu, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Desu and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable desu off the face of the desu, you little desu. If only you could have known what unholy desu your little “desu” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking desu. But you desu, you desu, and now you’re desu, you goddamn desu. I will shit desu all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking desu, kiddo.

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>>577918661
muh niggah

>>577913905
>that had to be a huge fat guy in that pic, so when the chair broke he couldnt break his fall or change his balance whatsoever, then that immense weight came straight down and remained on the jagged base of the chair

The gas cylinder exploded, firing a piece of metal into the man's torso, killing him as he sat

>>577913110
youeye

100/100

thread derailed

does anyone have the .gif of the asian dude walking into an elevator when i malfunction and goes up and he gets trapped/suffucates. im terrified of elevators now.

plox id

>>577918661
Something similar has happened to me. I was cutting open some toy for my nieces, and i had scissors facing my hand. The plastic broke, and one of the blades shot right into my hand. Not to that degree, though

nig

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>>577918879
this kills the man

>>577913883
DON'T DO IT

THIS WILL CREATE SMALL AIR BUBBLES IN YOUR CAPILLARIES, WHICH WILL EVENTUALLY COALESCE IN YOUR HEART AND CAUSE CARDIAC ARREST.

YOU CAN SURVIVE ONE ATTEMPT, BUT THEY EXPECT YOU TO KEEP DOING IT BECAUSE NOTHING HAPPENS IMMEDIATELY. IT WILL BE AN HOUR OR SO BEFORE YOU GO INTO CARDIAC ARREST, SO IF YOU'VE DONE IT REPEATEDLY, GET TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL

>>577917245
Lol let the fucking pig rot in her dying carcass.

>>577917245
What the actual fuck.

>>577919516
>Create air bubbles in blood flow without actually putting air in there
well ok

>>577915669
>>577915793
no it does not lol

>>577919516
How do you know this?

>>577913110
YouEye

>>577912961

That chair looks like mine without the arms.

>>577912961
Everything that happens on final destination movies.

>>577917245
This makes me fear fries now.

>>577912961
When I was a kid I was learning how to cook and my mother showed me how to fry. I was making a stir-fry one night and thought the vegetables looked a little dry, so I added some water without realizing it would FUCKING EXPLODE. I suffered a few burns from the oil, but thankfully no scarring

>I have an irrational fear of hot oil
>I work as a manager at a Long John Silver's and utterly hate my life

>>577918827
well, that's one way to keep an impaled object stable.

>EMT-B here (training)

>>577918879
Nopenopenope I'm scared now FUCK YOU I DON'T WANNA BE SIT

>>577912961
this is in china , right? and its some cheap ass chinese chair? right?

>>577920281
I'm not sure the word " irrational " means what you think it means.

>>577919516
your body can tolerate 30ml or air in your viens.. this will not do this, for fuck's sake.

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>>577920475
the funny thing is that this isn't the first time it happened, and the other stories are in china as well

>>577920475

Probably just a really heavy person sitting in the chair

>>577915234
hmmmm whats my penis doing on your bbq?

>>577920743
why is your penis detached? you a trans queer?

>>577914365
timestamp or it didn't happoen

>>577920501
No, I know what it means. Working with huge fryers full of oil on a daily basis definitely keeps me on my toes, but logically, I understand that everyone I work with takes the proper safety precautions, and it's perfectly safe to be around.

That being said, I don't fucking fry unless I absolutely have to.

>>577920743
its not just yours friend; it looks like there are other sausage sized penises in that package

>>577920719
heavy person would break the saftey valve and the chair would just keep on sliding slowly down.
source: i am a fat guy who broke about 100 chairs

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>>577920981
that was 15 years ago

>>577913883
Did this, 1 hour later, ambulance came drove me and helped me. Then they gave me a paper to approve that I'm sick even though my hand is okay now. No work for me tomorrow kek thanks anon

>>577920890
blowed off by a Japanman's machine gun in ww2 that's what I get for sticking my dick in the barrel I suppose

>>577918661
>>577918827
BRUH, IT'S AN AVACADO
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUSH THAT HARD FOR ANY REASON.
HOW?

>>577914365
slow clap

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>>577921691
I dunno

>>577920501
go back to leddit pls

>>577921691
this
was he trying to open the seed or some shit
>dat precious seed nutrients
>mmmmm seed

>>577921927
thx hardhat

>>577922080
lol

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>>577922052
>seed
nigga thats a pit

Friend was walking in his kitchen and accidentally kicked the edge of the island. It knocked off the bottom trimming and the nail holding it in place went deep into his toe, he needed to have two toes amputated

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>>577922080
and this is for the rest of you

>>577916434
>underrated post

>>577916304
this happend to me, the pain is unbearable.
also one psycho bitch bit on my right testicle, it hurted worse than a thousand kicks to the groin combined

>>577922402
topkek 10/10 would play

>>577916563
like you have that option...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3hm8_Ei8So

yees

>>577922351
that's it i couldn't think of the word so i just went with seed

>>577917820
>ID: bONy

Skeleton confirmed

>>577922351
>>577922740
niggas them are nuts

>>577922402
fucking got me

onetime i saw an old man die, old-age heartfailure they said, i got afraid of life, now i no longer want to live

>>577917245
I would kick his bitch ass outta the hospital, fucking asshole.

>>577912961
how is a picture a story you retarded fuckingfaggot

>>577922950
pretty sure pit is the correct term

>>577912961
Wtf is this shit exactly?

>>577913110

Shiiiiiieeeeet YouEye

>>577923537
gun (projectile) mechanism inside chair spine

>>577923537
>>577918879

>>577923493
i kek'd

>>577923260
when i was 6 i stood and watched as my grandad died then I ran a hid under the sink until my dad came to pick me up like 2 hours later

Fuck

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Thats why i be like "fuck apples"

>>577913883
Is this really gonna be the new fingerbox?

>>577919516
thats not true but DONT do it, it makes mustard gas

>>577912961
lol

>>577924228
it already is

How fat was that guy?
How the fuck do you break an office chair?

I found a really nice office chair on the curb for trash that looked like a fatty broke it. I took it home and fixed it with parts of my shitty chair.

Thanks fatties.

>>577924394
lrn2read nigger, its been said 5 times already. The hydraulics failed catastrophically and sent metal shooting upward.

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>>577924394
Never sit down in china, all their chairs are exploding.

http://gizmodo.com/5157354/boy-killed-anally-when-office-chair-explode

>>577924813
>http://gizmodo.com/5157354/boy-killed-anally-when-office-chair-explode
>clickbait
and i fell for it

>>577917245
stupid amerifat

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>>577924813
>boy killed anally

>>577925295
but dat was frum a brit show

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>>577925295
what a faggot.

>>577925485
the theory of general relativity clearly states that any fat is amerifat

>>577924214
What kind of sorcery is this?
How did they manage to push the razor thru the apple without getting any apple-parts on the razorblade or ruining the apple!? I mean, it's almost the same width as the apple.

>>577925295
Bait

>>577912961
What a shitty way to die.

>>577926105
It also states that europoors will incessantly boast that this makes them better, ignoring all the other problems they have.

>>577926265
woah you are trying way too hard

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>>577913110

All of my what

>>577917245
She has a point though, why the fuck are they tempting people WHO ARE FUCKING ADDICTED TO FOOD with food trolleys ??

>>577926105
this is true i cant argue with fact