Ylyl greentext addition
>>577439874
lost at ooh la la
Greentext ylyl is best ylyl
That moment you realize all of you greentext is related to buttholes, going or out. Faggots post me some it was my privlage gl
reentext.
not sure if right one, may have gotten mixed up with spoopy thread
>>577440286
That's sad and hilarous
>>577439874
Edition*, you fucking inbred
>>577443836
Hey fuck you faggot. Its late at night and I wanted to laugh at something. Get the fuck out of here you neckbearded white rapper.
contributing
probably my favorite
>>577439874
>roll out of room
fucking lost it god damn
>>577439874
Fuck, remember it like yesterday
> be virgin, age 13
> meet young girl in theater after choosing Monsters Inc
> we are sitting next to eachother, talking, laughing
> hit it off, flirting like mad
>set up playdate for later
> meet at my house, playing in yard with neighbors
> start to wrestle with girl, touching becomes sexual
> the smell of this young girls sweat gives me one of my first legit boners
>decide we need some privacy
>run into woods with girl
>finally come to marshy clearing
>feeling girl up, she seems to like it
>kissing, rubbing, it's all magic
>I make my move and shift my hand to her pussy
>rubbing through pants, she makes small noises and a wet spot emerges between her thighs
>lose the pants, going down on girl
>wtf this bitch's poon reeks
>whatever, go down on her anyway
>she's making sounds like a dying animal now, wet enough for penetration
>dick slides into pussy, immediately hear whisper
>"get outta my swamp"
>ask girl "did you hear that?"
>"hear what?"
>mfw the realization this was no marsh, it was Shrek's swamp
> hear another whisper in the stagnant air:
>"this is the part where you run away"
>knock girl down, leave her as offering to shrek
>immediately sprint into a low hanging branch, knocking myself down
>look up just in time to see the ogre barreling out of the green mist, yard long eshrek'd cock swinging
>ravages girl just as I drift out of consciousness
>wake up with mouth full of hot swamp tar, onions fashoned into a rope of anal beads resting in my large intestine
>mfw first shreksual encounter
>mfw should've chosen Shrek instead of Monsters Inc
Been a great thread OP, don't stop
>>577441014
Fuck man, the entire thread up to this point and I'm about to have a stroke
>>577442125
more?
>>577440286
This is the funniest shit I've ever read
>>577444731
>>577446809
>>577439874
Lel, I just posted these in another thread like 2 hours ago. Glad they were save-worthy. Time to contriboot.
>>577442892
what the fuck i don't remember saving this at all
>>577447707
>>577440470
jesus that gave me a good laugh.
Op here. please try to keep this thread going. I want this to be known as the funniest ylyl thread ever. I'm going to bed. will bring more smiles and keks tomorrow
see yall
>>577447845
>>577440470
Haven't lost this hard in weeks
>>577447401
>Hey, there's 20 letters in the alphabet right?
>No, there's 26.
>I'm pretty sure there's only 20.
>NO! THERE'S 26!
>Ah right, I forgot u r a q t
>That's only 5 letters
>Right, you'll get the D later.
>>577448176
>>577447401
>Your remind me of my baby toe.
>Because I know I'm going to bang you on the kitchen table later.
>>577440926
I fucking lost.
>>577449420
Kek'd.So.Hard
>>577449420
This is so much better with sound....
http://youtu.be/f5_j2XafpHU
>>577439874
Posting a favorite
I never post. Today is the day I pop my 4chan cherry.
>Be me.
>Be 20 in uni.
>Going to study with friends in liberry.
>Text friend asking where to meet him.
>He says on 3rd floor.
>Go to liberry.
>Go to 3rd floor.
>Dont see friend.
>Look down bookcase rows.
>See friend seated facing away from me towards the window at a desk in his trademark blue hoodie.
>Approach my friend.
>Gay-chicken-protocol engaged.
>I intend to win the ongoing gay-chicken war here and now.
>Sneak up behind friend.
>Swing legs over back of chair one at a time.
>Slide down behind friend so my crotch is touching his ass.
>Cup his breasts.
>Pull him tight.
>Friend turns around.
>Not friend.
>Total stranger.
>Never seen this kid before.
>His face...
>Ohgod.jpg
>I move head closer to his ear.
>Whisper; You arent John...
>Proceed to stand up and powerwalk down the stairs.
>Out the liberry.
>Off campus.
>Walk 9 blocks & get chipotle.
>Small school, everyone saw it.
>>577449185
>>577449668
10/10
How is /b/ so funny tonight??
>>577450064
RWAAAAAAH-RWAAAAAAAH
>>577450339
good first greentext m8
chuckles/10
>>577450339
This one will go far
>>577450339
Screenshot. This is now copypasta.
>>577450148
Fuck. I read that while thing hoping something funny was coming.
>>577446652
I did not expect this thread to last that long, nor for anybody to want more. But there is more.
Not greentext but 4chan post
>>577451362
>>577451525
>>577444343
I saw yesterday....side were in space
>>577441810
LOST
I'll post 2.
>>577450064
thanks anon i needed this
>>577440623
Fucking lost
>>577440286
Fucking great.
10/10
>>577453573
Sweet feels are made of this
>>577454827
Accidentally uploaded it.
Sorry for the mood dampener.
>>577453952
noooo holy fuck everything is gone including sides
>>577451647
god damnit, the average white-tier Mexican is truly a saint
>>577455063
So speaking of, there's a thread habbening about War Macheen kicking the shit out of Christy Mack
>>577452692
last one
not greentext, but whatever
>>577447401
>I just shit my pants. Can I get into yours?
Please more subhuman/autism stories. Hamplanets, tards, niggers and pure autism are the best shit to read about.
My last.
Thanks for the laughs, bros.
>>577447748
Funniest shit I've read in a long time.
>>577450064
fuck i am still laughing, i cant handle it
no IT Guy?
>>577458675
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEzhxP-pdos
Mandatory. Best green text keks I've ever had.
>>577440854
This happened near me. I live in Completelymadeupsville.
>>577440808
Lost so hard
>>577440697
lmfao hahahaha
>>577442382
lmfao yes
>>577459441
day 23 best day
>>577456869
context?
>>577444343
too funny
>>577442081
LOST BADLY
>>577461480
No idea. she must have asked for advice on some minor thing her bunny had.
>>577447153
USA! USA! USA!
>>577451512
11/10
who the fuck wants to read all this shit? jesus christ, how about some god damn pictures!
mandatory
>>577456707
That first reply. Holy fucking god.
>>577440926
first fucking time i keked in like ever on here good job anon
>>577439874
okay niggers obligatory lightning raptard
I'll post a few
>>577450339
My sides
>>577462940
>>577463164
11/10
Thanks op and contributors.
It's now 2:15 AM and I have to get up at 7. Will not regret in the morning.
10/10 most enjoyable thread in awhile
>>577463306
>>577463445
I browse /d/ a lot, so some of these may be a little much for newfriends.
>>577440808
>people saw
>>577463721
>>577464026
>>577464223
>>577462385
>In greentext thread
> doesnt want ro read
You acoustic nigger.
>>577464223
>>577464296
>>577450339
oh dear lord my sides
>>577451525
>She stares at him with the eyes closely resembling the mad butcher that killed an anon for fucking his daughter
>>577450339
you go to ASU huh
>>577464442
Long read but this is good as the phil raptard story
>>577464925
Isn't anyone going to post that BROJOB thing?
>>577465209
>>577465662
oh god, that wasn't the one I meant to post... oh well.
>Be 21
>Its halloween
>Visiting my parents
>See a grill watching watching tv in the living room(walked through the back so I cant see her face)
>Thinks its my 20year old sister
>Always messing around with her
>Smack her on back of the head
>She turns around, not my sister.
>Ohshitnigga.mp3
>Walk to kitchen and see my sister
>Stares at me confused
>Walk out of the house and dont come back
I dint even get to see my patents.
>>577465246
>>577447748
I'm dying
>be me
>be 19
>had moved countries at 14, came back to visit old friends
>one friend has a small party the night i get there
>hadn't taken a shit in like nearly 48 hours
>massive turd incoming
>run to his toilet in the downstairs area where we were partying
>commence massive shit
>flush toilet and leave
>come out and about 5 minutes later, house owner announces to everyone 'don't use bathroom downstairs if you gotta shit, its been having some problems"
>mfw
>15 minutes later I hear screaming and yelling "WHO THE FUCK TOOK A SHIT IN MY DOWNSTAIRS BATHROOM"
>ask him whats wrong
>explains that someone took a huge shit and it caused a huge back up and now the shower is completely covered in shitty sewage
>go inspect, hes not wrong, shit all over the walls and its atleast a 3 inch puddle on shower floor
>everyone laughing hysterically
>claims someone is gonna have to clean it up and i tell him i saw another kid go in there beforehand
>he starts to blame him, nearly fights him and kicks him out
>party ends
>next day he tells me he has to pay $250 to fix it and get it cleaned, says hes gonna make other kid pay
>mfw
>>577440470
I pictured it as a charlie brown type sound the kid made and yeah...that was funny
>>577440470
Thats a 10 hour drive.roughly 583 miles. Dude.. think of that what did he see?!
>>577450339
8/10 got me a good chuckle going m8
>>577465074
Holy fuck am I autistic or did that take forever to read
Literally felt like I was that guy who wiped his shit with the Bible
>>577464356
>>577446356
This actually happened to my great aunt according to my dad.
>Apparently her dog died and she wanted to bury it at this famous pet cemetery out on eastern Long Island.
>She doesn't have a car so she takes the train
>Puts the dog in an old fur coat box to travel
>Puts the box down to buy a train ticket
>Some guy grabs it and runs off
>God only knows he gave it to his girl without opening it first
I mean, he still got fur I guess.
>>577444731
capped lol lost so hard
U+5350
>>577443204
lost so bad
Anyone have, "and thats the last we hard of this faithful anon" / "I fucked my cat"???
>>577467981
>>577444731
>>577442382
>fire arms
>>577440623
>so bad the dog left
awww fuck, lost.
>>577449420
cesaro?
>>577442081
what board is this?
>>577440697
Hahahaha!
Holy shit that was great.
Okay, I'll contribute
>>577448176
das rite
>>577473131
hahahaha forgot this one
>>577450064
excellence in citizenship.
>>577473131
That is probably the first thing on here that has made me cya bit from laughter. Well done.
>>577475810
*cry
>>577453573
whycantiholdallthesefeels.jpg
>>577454069
godfuckingdamnitfuckingniggercocksshit!
Need the one of the guy who said his gf has a wierd looking pussy, turns out its a sex change gone bad
>>577477261
Gonna need the rest of this if you have it
>>577440854
idontevenhaveawebcam.... done.
>>577477643
Coming up.
>>577477796
>>577477845
That thrad made me cry.
>>577477964
>>577475045
10/10
>>577440854
I lost it when at the end it turns out hes posting on /fit/
>>577478267
Jesus these are making me lose so goddamn hard
This thread made my night, thank you all
>>577478784
The worst is... they go on.
>>577478916
>>577478967
>>577441014
lost at violate the wall again
>>577479010
>>577444120
Wow.
>>577479068
>>577479131
>>577459509
Saying greentext stories never happened is like walking into a special ed classroom and calling everyone retarded. There's a very high chance you're right, but it serves no purpose other than to make you look like an asshole. This is art, not history.
>>577441014
I lost bruh