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Let us begin the town game...
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 190
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Let us begin the town game...

Rules are simple - survival. One of your people must survive this very odd land.

Your people have found themselves in a field, there is a natural spring and a bunch of berry trees, enough food and water for all 100 of them to settle down. - First we must build a town.

You have 3 buildings to add to the village, and unlimited natural resources - first replies will choose.
>>
Eskimo sex bar
>>
nigger slave bazar
>>
Post office
>>
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>>576215780
2 more - and unlimited natural resources
>>
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>>576216075

Congratulations you have passed level 1: Yourself

You have one new building to prepare for level 2: "A Rampaging Elephant"
>>
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>>576215483
Laser turret factory
>>
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>>576216618
>>576216537
Mine, this, do it, we win.
>>
>>576216618
You have insufficient technology I am afraid - your people have mainstream modern day technology, they are from the 90s.
>>
>>576216537
Chop trees
make strong spiky fort
>>
2nd Eskimo sex bar
>>
>>576216896
Put a million skateboards around the village
>>
>>576216916
Wait, we could make steel walls
They are stronger
>>
>>576216896
giant jeff goldblum statue
>>
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>>576216916
First comment here wins.

You made a spiky fort and cut down the trees, depleting your food supply.

A very angry looking elephant appeared at the edge of the town, charging towards your town.

What is the next move? (no new buildings - level finished once the elephant threat has gone)
>>
>>576217161
What if we make a dry moat around a metal spiky fort
>>
>>576216537
Minefields surrounding the town for 5 mile. Fuck you elephants.
>>
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>>576216896
>ok
>build primitive Metal Gear, they did that in the 80's.
>instead of warheads, the rail fires trees sharpened like spears
>Elephant meat feeds city
>>
>>576217482
PUT A MILLION FUCKING SKATEBOARD AROUND THE TOWN
>>
>>576217482
Fuck you said unlimited natural resources
>>
>>576217482
use nigger slaves to kill elephant use bones to make fucking jeff goldblum statue
>>
>>576217482
>>576217538
this
>>
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>>576217538
THIS!
We just exhausted our food supply, we NEED this
>I WILL save this city
>>
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>>576217538
I forgot to mention, the Metal Gear is called "Spearchucker"
>>
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>>576217643
>>576217538
>>576217515
>>576217487
No new buildings until the next level, which begins once the elephant is no longer a threat. He has charged closer towards your town furiously towards the eskimo sex bar while you were deciding.
>>
>>576216537
Also I sent a letter to my angry white South African athlete friend he is a good shot and will visit soon...
>>
>>576218041
hide people in the fort
>>
>>576217656
>>576217689
Sorry forgot to mention this feature can only be used at the start of the level not during levels
>>
>>576218041
Let's offer mister elephant a few nigger slaves and a good night of eskimo sex for free
>>
Make love to elephant
>>
throw pokeball at the elephant
>>
>>576218041
Make the slaves use their hing skills to kill the elephant
>>
>>576218041
fucking do something jeff goldblum statue related
>>
>>576218041
Op you are a fag
>>
>>576218350
*ancestral hunting
>>
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>>576218041
Metal Gear: Spearchucker isn't a building!
You gonna let this city get trampled to shit and back while out scientists fervently scramble to constuct a Metal Gear because you fucked up the zoning permit?
>>
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>>576218041
this
>>576217669
>>
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>>576218083
First comment here wins. On trying to send a letter from the post office, 1 man was skewered on the elephants tusk, the elephant then proceeded to begin ransacking the eskimo sex bar.
>>
>>576218627
all niggers and whites in the fort
>>
>>576218627
Pile into slave arena
>>
>>576218627
use army of niggerslaves to kill the elephant with sticks and stones
>>
Worship our new elephant god
>>
>>576218627
Elephant is struck by severe melancholy after getting blood on his tusk and decides to commit suicide by holding his breath
>>
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>>
>>576218801
You have no black people, you could get some at the start of level 3 as natural resources.

The elephant destroyed the elephant sex bar and is charging angrily towards the spiky fortress. All 99 people are inside.
>>
>>576219309
We had an elephant sexbar?
>>
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>>576219309
Forgot this sorry
>>
>>576219309
Thank god we own the Eskimo sex the elephant sex bar can go fuck itself
>>
>>576219485
fight elephant
>>
Worship elephant God
>>
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>>576219624
>>
build auto trank gun and blast that motherfucker
and then cut his legs off and raise the legless elephant as your pet
>>
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>>576219309
>That's it,
>myself and all my scientists get inside Metal Gear: Spearchucker
>angrily mechstomp out of town flipping off all of you and especially OP
>Good luck getting raper by elephant dong because OP filed my mobile weapon and a fucking "Building"
TL;DR = OP's a huge faggot and your last hope just left
>>
>>576219485
sacrifice two men to the blood god and let him cast divine judgement upon the sinful elephant
>>
Idk when but we need nuclear warheads and shit.
>>
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>>576219537
First comment wins. God appreciated the thanks and rewarded you with an "elephant dong bar", meanwhile the elephant skewered itself in a bloody psychotic rage on the spiky fortress.

CONGRATULATIONS
You have passed level 2.

You now have 2 new buildings and unlimited natural resources to prepare for level 3: A torrential downpour.
>>
>>576220202
Build a bark utilzing nigger slave labour
>>
>>576220202
jeff goldblum building
>>
Eskimo sex bar
>>
>>576220202
harvest elephant
gain nigger slaves
>>
mail the elephant to somewhere else
>>
>>576220202
Build giant rubber duck with dildos for seats 99 of them
>>
build auto nigger whipper
>>
>>576220202
build a building on tall stilts to avoid flood
>>
umbrella factory
>>
>>576220202
build a temple to the blood god jeff goldblum
>>
>>576220202
A giant shithole
>>
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>>576220403
>>576220430
>>576220440

You gained bark utilization workshop.
Jeff Goldblum building.
And 50 people of African descent from unlimited natural resources.

19 people died of starvation and the stream began to swell from the torrential rain.
>>
Pray to Jeff Goldblum.
>>
>>576221405
get slaves to sandbag around post office
>>
>>576221405
jeff goldblum provides life to the barren lands
the melons grow on the trees like flowers in spring
10 niggers die of overeating
>>
>>576221405
Harvest elephant get Africans to do a rain dance
>>
>>576221405
Build a resort for that tourist income
>>
now everyone collect food and then in the bark
>>
This should be a thing
>>
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>>576221630
>>
create fishing resort on the river for steady supply of food
>>
Summon Carl Sagan
>>
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>>576221619
(Can someone explain the Jeff Goldblum thing? lol)

Prayers to Jeff Goldblum were disrupted when the spiky fortress was flooded, there was some confusion as to how to escape and some were unwilling to stop prayers despite drowning. 30 died in the catastrophe.

The post office was also flooded.

CONGRATULATIONS
You have beat level 3.

You have 1 new building and unlimited natural resources to surpass level 4: "A rapist"
>>
>>576222340
build a giant dick statue
>>
>>576222340
Build a giant dick out of rubies
>>
>>576222340
jeff goldblum is life
jeff goldblum is love
>>
commence mass orgy for more children
>>
>>576222380
Lololol
>>
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>>576222380
First comment winner.

You built a giant dick statue out of stone.

In other news: one of the citizens is complaining due to a rape in the Jeff Goldblum building.
>>
>>576222848
another dick statue
>>
>>576222557
>>576222449
giant dick statue initiates mass orgy
>>
>>576222848
citizin was raped by the great and mighty penis of jeff goldblum
he didnt complete his prayer to the blood god
>>
Mass suicide
>>
>>576222340
I told you to get the slaves to sandbag the post office but nooo don't listen to anon now look what you've done
>>
>>576222848
lealize rape
>>
>>576222848
A slave is the rapist. Sacrifice them all to Jeff goldblum.
>>
>>576222848
Op you should roll for winner say ending 2 , 4 or 6 one time then change next time and have the multiple winners
>>
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>>576222947
Buildings only at start of levels, not during.

>>576222950
A mass orgy was initiated, the result was 25 mixed race babies.

The rapist is still at large, and continued the orgy in the post office with one unlucky victim.

30 black people also died from starvation.
>>
Mass suicide get
>>
>>576223527
jeff goldblum kilss the babies
>>
>>576223527
eat nigger shit
>>
Also wtf is a bark factory
>>
>>576223527
train the 20 slaves in the art of fishing and build fishing hut so they have food
>>
Harvest food and check for aids
>>
>>576223709
Harvest aids and check for food
>>
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>>576223638
The sadness of this rape caused all the mixed race babies to commit suicide as well as 10 white people. The rapist is now becoming decadent and is drinking at the elephant dong bar bragging about these atrocities.
>>
Is there a Militia yet? If not, start one
>>
>>576223704
fucking fishing
>>
How many people are left? Taking into consideration that the blacks are 3/5.
>>
order niggers to enslave rapist to the elephant bar in brutal irony
>>
>>576223974
legalize rape
>>
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>>576224034
The black band militia was formed at the slave camp. They armed themselves with large pieces of wood left over from the berry trees.

Another citizen is complaining due to rape.
>>
>>576223974
Op can we have situational breakdown pls
>>
>>576224416
kill rapist eat him and this>>576223704
>>
>>576224416
legalize rape nao! solves every problem
>>
Gather food. Enforce curfew. Check convo in bar
>>
>>576224461
+1 for this
>>
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>>576224461
I come from the future with a dire warning.
>>
Rape rapist
>>
>>576224416

Ask for details of rapist from victims, track down with militia and hang from Jeff Goldblum building
>>
>>576224710
WHERE IS THE DICK STATUE????
>>
>>576224910
They blew it up. They blew it up. Those damn dirty apes.
>>
>>576224710
use the hidden nuclear missiles to fuck their shit OP
>>
>>576224910
2 dick statues are required
>>
>>576224710
>>576224416
OP can we build the lazor spides now?
>>
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>>576224170
60, 20 black and 40 white. Check pic to see.

>>576224461
You are on level 4: "A rapist" Proceeding to level 5. For rules see up top and first few comments.

>>576224598
Rapist was killed and eaten by the black band militia.

The blacks also learned fishing and made rods.

CONGRATULATIONS
You have beaten level 4: A rapist.

You now have 2 buildings & unlimited natural resources to prepare for level 5: "WAR vs Ancient Egypt"

Your scouts have informed you an army is heading your way.
>>
niggers overpower their white owners and kill all of then.
>>
>>576225876
SPEND EVERYTHING ON GIANT DICK STATUES EVEN AT THE COST OF HUMANS AND NIGGERS!!!
>>
>>576225876
build a spear gun and mount it to the horses we just discovered and overpower the egyptians and also booby trap the fuck out of the place
>>
resources to collect:
food
iron
>>
build giant spiked wall
>>
>>576225956
i wasted this post shit
>>
>>576225876
lay down mines
>>
>>576226189
spear gun made from remnants of the spiky forest to clarify
>>
>>576226515
giant spiked hamster ball
>>
>>576225876
Declare war on the river
>>
>>576226626
>>576226189
and then we rape and pillage the Egyptian woman for more babies
>>
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>>576225376
You have modern day technology.

>>576225956
>>576226132
>>576226427

You built another giant dick statue.

The black band militia crew overpowered the whites due to their superior weaponry, 5 blacks died leaving 15 and 5 white escaped to the Jeff Goldblum building.

Enough food to last this level was collected and a pile of iron was collected from natural resources.

An army of 100 ancient Egyptian spearmen has been spotted approaching you.
>>
>>576227327
i think i have it. pray to jeff goldblum for a time machine, sacrifice a few niggers to the god, or build a time machine from sticks and shit. Go to the future, steal the big dick statues, go back and repeat like, forverer
>>
>>576227327

make lots of spears and arm ourselves
>>
>>576227327
Build a shitload of AWP's and snipe them from the roof of Goldblum building
>>
>>576227078
>>576226626
>>576226189
these to defend
>>
>>576227327
Invent cancer and infect Egyptians
>>
>>576227878
this
>>
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>>576227450
Jeff Goldblum rewarded you with a machine capable of telling the time, a huge sundial. 5 black people were sacrificed leaving your total population at 15.

In other news - The army of ancient Egyptian spearmen have begun to attempt to topple the outer giant dick statue.
>>
strap bombs to the niggers? anyone?
>>
>>576228269
You have no bombs.
>>
>>576227450
use niggers as some kind of currency and exchangefor some spears
>>
>>576228146
Everyone guards Jeff Goldblum building with life
>>
>>576228479
PERFECT <3
>>
>>576228146
Escape down the river using the other dick statue as a raft
>>
snipe with bow and arrows and kill all the egyptians go to egypt steal all the women and create more babies
>>
>>576228146
tongue nigger anus all day and night with total disregard for safety
>>
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>>576228479
First comment winner.

In an attempt to exchange them spears, the army of A.Egyptians attacked and killed all 10 of them. No A.Egyptian spearmen were killed in the battle.

They continued to attack the giant dick statue.
>>
>>576228991
colapse the building at then!
>>
>>576228991
Let everyone die
>>
>>576228991
Recruit another militia! Mexican this time!
>>
>>576228991
put big ring from that shitty movie with kurt russel and go back to past and kill egyptian mothers so the invasion never happens
>>
>>576228991
Escape to Egypt
>>
>>576228991
the giant dick statue cant fall! ask the god jeff goldblum for help!
>>
>>576228991
attack the egyptians while waving privates around
>>
>>576229294
leave the nigs behind as a distraction, take over Egypt
>>
>>576229294
this escape to Egypt
>>
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>>576229171
In a risky move, your 5 remaining people attempted to topple the outer giant dick statue on top of the A.Egyptian army.

Luckily Jeff Goldblum smiled upon you this time and your last 2 digits on your post number over 50 caused the plan to succeed. 60 A.Egyptian spearmen were crushed by concrete dick.

The remaining 40 have spotted your people on the other side of the collapsed outer giant dick statue.
>>
>>576229998
tell the egyptians that mubarak is ruining their country and to go the fuck home
>>
>>576229998
>>576229998
lash out at them and attempt to rape the egyptians
>>
>>576229998
start fapping furiously
>>
>>576229219
this
>>
>>576229998
Escape to Egypt you cunt
>>
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>>576230115
First comment winner.

Jeff Goldblum frowned upon you as your number of 15 was not enough to sway the Egyptians with the Mubarak argument. They attacked and only one man managed to escape and hide in the Jeff Golblum building - blessed be his name.

He is your last remaining man.

The A.Egyptian spearman army took a quick rest on their campaign.
>>
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>>576229998
Run to Egypt with remaining Jeff Goldblum artifacts
>>
kill all the egyptians go to egypt steal all the women and create more babies
enslave their women for our purposes
>>
>>576231015
surrender and join the egyptians but plot to destroy them from the inside
>>
>>576231015
Run to Egypt with remaining Jeff Goldblum artifacts !
>>
>>576231051
hes going to rambo these mofos in the name of goldblum
>>
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>>576231015
The last man took the giant sundial to ancient Egypt and is nearly there.

The spearmen burned the elephant dong bar.
>>
>>576231481
fuck a camel
>>
>>576231481
>steal all the women and create more babies
>enslave their women for our purposes
>>
>>576231481
rape all women
>>
>>576231537
fucking kek
>>
>>576231481
Teach Egyptians about 1 true God Jeff Goldblum
have sun dial as proff
>>
>>576231561
>>576231812
these please and not the stupid ass camel thing
>>
>>576231983
Tough shit nigger, the last Goldblumian is gonna go fuck a camel. Deal with it
>>
>>576231481
Become Moses and free the Jews
>>
>>576232118
thats fucking stupid and doesint contribute to shit
>>
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>>576231537
Upon arrival at ancient Egypt with giant sundial, the last man, son of Golblum proceeded to have sexual intercourse with said camel, he was quickly surrounded by a slightly bemused legion of 20 A.Egyptian home guard armed with spears.

He quickly came in said camel's face before directing his attention to the matter at hand.
>>
>>576232320
It gets a camel fucked.
>>
>>576232483
now go rape all egyptian women
>>
>>576232538
YES PRO CREATION finally
>inb4 op just kills of all the fucking children again
and use sundial to make them see us as god
>>
>>576232483
Kill self

Im out .....
>>
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>>576232538
While attempting to rape A.Egyptian women and surrounded by guards, son of Goldblum was killed.

YOU LOSE
>>
op chose shit answers and a what could have been a good thread went to shit
>>
>>576233286
goldblum failed me
Thread replies: 190
Thread images: 37
Thread DB ID: 18622



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