Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps. The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact. You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random
My head hurts. Man, I haven't had a cold this year. It's 10.30pm and the kid just woke up. He's ok with sitting in front of tv in the spare room watching shit on TV. Maybe not ideal for a 2 year old but he aint going back to bed.
Man my sinuses and everything are fucked. Maybe I should just get stoned as hell and forget it. It's definitely justifiable to take a sickday from work over this. But after the shitty week I had last week, I need to be available this week and acting the superstar. Besides I can just work from home, stay online, occasionally send a report or something.
Goddamn maybe i should take the day off. I worked over the weekend to get the servers up. Probably why I have this cold in the first place. Could be worse. I have weed, and DS9 is in its 6th season, which is its best season. It's so windy out. I should stick my head out the window and maybe the cold breeze would make my head feel better.
I need to get over her. I hate her but I really don't. We have a really good time when we hang out. We talk about everything, drink, smoke, hike, see movies, just sit and talk, she cheats on her girlfriend with me. We broke up because she's "Lesbian". She told me that she sees me as more than a best friend and I'm the perfect guy but she's only into girls. She's been stuck on this one cunt for a while- She just sent me a snapchat. I am so happy to hear from her today. Today has been so shitty. I am so broke it's not even cool. I had to pay for my classes twice because the first one didn't go through, then it did after I paid again. I owe my parents a car payment, I have to buy books for school, I need to buy a winter jacket. I need to move out but I don't have the money for that. My therapist, psychiatrist, brother, father, sister, and grandmother all say my home environment is toxic but I have to take care of my mom. She hurt her back and she is an alcoholic (Unrelated to each other) and my stepdad is a dick to her a lot. Nothing physical or too bad just doesn't treat her right. I don't want to leave her alone. But I need to be away from them. Every day has been like this for a while. I am trying to make things better, I push and I push and I push. Hard work earns rewards I hope. I really hope trying to make myself better pays off. If anything, I just want the clarity to understand what I need to do right now. But I'm very unhappy. It will get better but I still get a lot of suicidal thoughts. My therapist says everyone has intrusive thoughts and that's true. I suffer from major depressive disorder and a few anxiety disorders and PTSD and I don't want to live with this the rest of my life. I can't see myself being a contributing member of society. I don't want to have kids because I don't want to pass my illnesses on to them. I really do want to die but I want to live so much more. And I want this girl to go away. She's bad for me. Thanks for letting me let it out.
Im frustrated about work, most people are idiots and i have to somehow make everything work. Damn test department is a joke but i have to put on a big smile and not tell them that they are idiots. I have to take babysteps to make them learn properly how to do their jobs...
And while doing that shit i have to finish developing the frikking api with some hardcore memory offset errors. But fuck that right, who got time to do shit properly?! Well not me, because i also have to fix all errors reported. Since apparently no other developer knows how to write java.. Java. the language for idiots...
I had it all, I had everything. I was in the Army, had a wife and a couple dogs. Yeah I may have fucked up a little in the beginning but I really wanted it to work. She was the hottest girl I have been with, when I got kicked out and she cheated on me and I divorced her I lost it all. I took off my sense of purpose with that uniform and I took off my my only companion with that ring. Now I am back on my feet I want to get back in the fight. But I just cant commit anymore because I am afraid it wont work, just like we didnt.
>>576195117 Richtig abgefuckte scheiße, 500 millionen für maker studios und ich sitz hier und browse auf /b/.. wenn ich die ganzen kackspastis wie dner, karless oder inscope sehen krieg ichs kotzen. Nichts leisten aber n` geld verdienen das nen normal angestellter in nem jahr nicht verdient. .. fuck ey morgen um 7 uhr aufstehen.. um 9.20 im zug sitzen.. 3.5 stunden zugfahrt.. egal ich hab n gutes buch. scheiße mittwoch ja auch um 7 aufstehen.. egal morgen noch frei. Hab ich das Wochenende frei? Weiß ich ganicht.. ich glaube aber eher nich, roland die missgeburt meldet sich ja nicht.. scheiße ich sollte schlafen. egal
life is really fucking awesome. I have a great friend, a great job, a great boss, decent money, am getting editing done on my web show, getting my next movie written, and am somehow banging really hot people.
the only thing im really not into is this weird acne on my chin. ive had acne all my life, but its never been this bad. it used to be only half the time to, and when i had it it was minimal. now its all day erry day and its gross as fuck. tried all sorts of diets and washes and lack of washes and everything. trying tetracycline next, but its very openly a short term solution. i miss being hot.
Its 11 30 pm already, i should probably go to bed if i dont wanna be a walking dead again tommorow, but shit i sitll wanna play the evil within which is almost done downloading. Tommorow is the new episode of adventure time. Finally.
Shit, there still are 4 days to weekend, monday sucks. I've been to school but i didnt do anything productive the whole day, probably gonna have some work tommorow, man i wish i could just hang out with my buds and do nothing but drink beer, talk and watch apes on animal planet/cartoons like i did in summer... oh hell yea, the game finished downloading!
>>576195117 I fucking hate my life. Being a paedophile sucks and I hate myself for it but god dammit I can't help how I feel. Fuck this shit. I'll never feel okay around kids and I love them. I want my own kids but I'm afraid I'd abuse them. I want to go to Thailand to fuck an 8 year old god dammit.
Does porn exist of abusive relationships? Like, is there erotic literature about breaking people down until they're basically battered housewives? Focusing on the psychological details, probably from a POV view or some shit Fuck I want to die
I wish my girlfriend would stop buying me ice cream and chipotle burritos and then bitching that im getting fat. I miss you everyday Amanda, I'm sorry I was mean to you. Come bvack and save me from Karen
What the hell is real? Who am i and why not? Why don’t we smell the roses anymore? When do we get another shot? Truly. Madly.
I could decide to stay here And dream on forevermore To live without the danger And the fear I felt before A life devoid of sadness. No more suffering and pain In a realm of make-believe Within the limts of my brain
Got a wonderfull job 2 month ago. Boss asked me what is my talent. All people I work with got talents, i dont have an. I am so averge. I saved up a lot of money and started building a brick house. The women i like dont want to go for partys with me. I dont know why. I am handsome. I have some friends. Why cant I get married. I am 2 days younger than Ellen Page. Dammit, where is my happiness.
I don't really know how to get my creative juices out. Work is sort of a soul-draining offense to all things holy. Great job, amazing company, great co-workers and I'm happy with it, it's just...
it's finance, and I assumed by now I'd've become a super-coder working on my favorite video games when I was little, not a glorified analytics project management engine at a well-known firm.
I still try to develop music, I've been trying to write more, even twitch streaming to see about ..well..creating a fucking online persona or some shit but..I dunno, I just feel like I'm not where I want to be.
How many faggots wake up every day thinking about "I wanna be in da gaming industry" and how many hard-working faggots actually work on some sort of flash app or something that'll take off..I'm not even on that fucking radar.
just a pipe dream. I'd like to move on but well, I'm scared.
I'm just scared. I'm doing everything right up-to-date and something else would scare the living shit out of me.
I'm scared of actually looking to move on to something I could be passionate about and dedicate my life to. as faggy as it sounds I want to product manage video games.
Cum cum on these fantasies because life is a fucking giant ballsack of cumming rock demons from your moms anal juice typically from vaginal reflux because Pokemon gotta catch em all par golf cock niggas suck hitlers pokemon stick perhaps lady gaga is God but here on earth he has no metaphysical ownership to a dogs anal juice
>>576198582 code and develop in your spare time, don't do it for a goal, do it because you enjoy it. Get rid of all ideas of success and focus on nurturing your passion purely for your own development.
I really dont wanna go there tomorrow. they dont know about us and they will find out. its gon be awkward as shit. i dont even love her or anything, its just that i have to get out of my shell and force myself out of my comfort zone. fml
I don't actually like any of friends. Well, I suppose they're ok, but when it comes down to it, I don't really care about any of them, like, if they were to get hurt physically/emotionally or even die I wouldn't really care at all.
Spooky scary skeletons. Why am I listening to this for 10 hrs on repeat? Should I go to that halloween party, I wont know anyone except for that one chick. What if they think my costume is dumb. Fuck. Spooky scary skeletons.
I want to kill myself.. I know I won't.. I have my family.. My friends.. And girlfriend.. I don't want them to be sad.. I shouldn't be thinking this.. But it's all I can think.. I feel like I'm just dragging them down..
So close to giving up, cortisone injections let me use my arm again, doubt i'll ever be able to cook like I used to. My family left me hanging, should just nut up and finally move the fuck out of Jersey, not like my ex cares if I ever see my kid again, how did I become such a fucking failure. Been surviving the last couple of months completely fucking broke, just one fucking chance is all I need.
Whoo the hell am i if i can't have her in my life, should i let myself burn out over the next couple of montha or ahould i stay strong and keep fighting, or should i just give up, i don't care, i don't see why i should, i'm a mess a ruin, i drag all of my friends with me on my way down, i hate me why wouln't they, fuck
SO very much of my life s just flying by the seat of my pants no matter how much planning and thinking I do.
I don't want to be marginalized and made a cog in a machine; but conversely I don't want to be a useless academic.
I just want to build cool shit that helps people stay safe and do what they need to do.
Furthermore, I am sick of my parents' faux-Christian "morality". I don't want to be around them, which is why I don't go home very often. I find them very unpleasant when I'm not making an effort to present myself as someone that fits their idea of who I am. I am fucking sick of it.
Making myself stronger one day at a time through exercise and eating well; getting closer to whatever the end goal is... what if it ends up to all be a waste of time in the end? We're all going to fucking die anyway, whether or not we had good bodies and rewarding careers and relationships. In the grave we all fucking look alike, the poorest ghetto child and the billionaire. Best to enjoy the sunshine and breathing the fresh air.
Im posting in this thread because i am a little bored. i was out partying this weekend and stayed awake für 50 hours. was the first time i did pep and it was amazing. i want to do it next weekend aswell, i just hope i wont be too fucked up physically because i have to go to university next monday. yeah, thats about it. niggers tongue my anus.
>>576195117 Why aren't /b/tards called /b/ners? Why the fuck is my throat so sore? I should probably finish my Calculus homework. When does Adventure time start again. Fuckin' adventure time. These corn dogs are delicious.
What's a good person? Am I a good person? I love wallowing in the pity but something tells me to loathe it. I talk to my backpack, it's no use usually only to vent but that's not a living being she only talks what I think. Studying psychology a waste? maybe I should just be a casual faggot with a decent enough job. Trap trap trap. When will I tell my parents? Should've just snagged the desperate ones. ok time to stop they're knocking at the door.
I dont know why i rresplodn the othse fucking threads all day i ant type as fast as i can think banas and some other shit the post above yours is queer /b/ is gay what am i doing with my life this thread is retarded bye.
My head hurts. It's hard. Really hard. It must be the lack of oxygen in the room. The heater device thingy eats it up really fast I think. Sometimes just when it becomes really cosy in my room, I have to open the window to let in some fresh air, but then my room cools back down. It's really tiring. I want to cry sometimes... Why can't I have a better heating system? Why does fire eats up all the O2? Why do I have to have headaches? Life is hard. Really hard. I'm hungry too, but forgot to buy stuff, and gf is on night shift. She usually knows how to make food out of nothing. We're could be having headaches together now...
>>576198907 Yes, I wanted to tell you I'm secretly in love with you.
But no sorry, you just really sounded like a friend of mine and that was something he could just exactly say. (disliking Java while being a pro in it, busy writing an api and also having fights with the people who test his stuff lol
I'm not sure if my girlfriend of three years and I even qualify as a couple anymore. I feel like we've deteriorated from lovers to friends or fwb but as far as she's concerned we're strong as ever, either because she can't admit it to herself or she's actually blind to the truth. Fuck this shit
I want to be an artist but I fucking hate drawing like shit. All I've done for 10 years is play video games and at this point I could have been a decent musician but I gave up guitar 5 years ago and violin about 9.
Happiness is such a stupid fucking concept. As though your brain could make you feel good all the time for doing fucking nothing. How the hell would we survive as a species if everyone was 'happy' all the time. People focusing on the idea that they're supposed to be happy are killing themselves and making themselves depressed.
You're not supposed to be happy. You're supposed to be content. If you're fed/feel productive with your time that's a good place to be. Happiness are the small moments in between making a living where something that was stressing you goes your way.
This 'anxiety' stuff is bullshit too. Everyone is fucking anxious all the time about everything if they have even a modicum of intelligence. If they can look 2 steps ahead they can see where everything COULD go wrong. But it can't be used as an excuse for not doing something. Fail enough times by not trying and you'll get over your bullshit anxiety really quickly. Don't let any mental crap be an excuse in your life.
And fuck all this focus on significant others. You don't need that shit. Focus on being content, don't compare yourself to anyone else, and you'll find a mate eventually.
Don't lurk on /b/ too long or you'll find yourself in a pity party before you know it.
>>576195117 I'm really tired right now. losing weight is fucking hard, but you gotta look good to feel good, and if you look good, good things will come to you. maybe I'm just to concerned about making people like me. Maybe I should actually think about what I want to do with my life. Being a musician or writer aren't fucking realistic goals, but they're all I want. My fucking foot itches and so does my scalp. how long does it fucking get to get the feel of ginger out of your headhole? was anal all it was cracked up to be? yeah, it kinda was been too long since I played my guitar, and I have to practice drums for the drum lesson at that concert in november. shiet
How the fuck can I type what I'm thinking if I'm not thinking the warmth of the bodies sourrounding me smells of carrion and I feel as a statue but I won't let the tears flow because I am not the bitch I was before. I am a man now. Fuck you I am a man now.
Im slowly but surely pulling my life together, and its through being m7ndful of the way I make decisions.
I wanna wank but im seeing my gf tomorrow and wanna give her the full sploosh but its good for her ego
I wanna break up with her so I can fuck other girls (pkenty of opportunity, im a bartender) but the connection is really deep and she'd make a kickass mother and ill enjoy my life of monogamy with her. But the hot ladies are so near and shes so far :(
>>576200168 I literally just dump my gf over the same shit. >Shit's good. >Then it isn't. >She acts shady. >Call her on it. >Relationship drops from seriously into each other forever type lovers >Down to barely talking >Dumped her
I love her. I love her so much, she knows and she loves me too and that's great everything's great. apart from the fact that she's 4000 miles away. Yeh that sucks. But I can't stop thinking about her. She's beautiful, she's amazing. I wan't to take her places and kiss her and fuck yes I would fuck her. If only you saw her ass. I love her I love her fuck I really love her
I am so tired of feeding my fat fuck of a girlfriend and helping her out with my hard earned money but I have no choice since no other woman my age will fuck or date me and living at home while working minimum wage doesn't help. If I could just win the lottery or have a miracle happen then maybe I could go back to school for a useful degree instead of pissing away my college money on an English degree. The only good news I've had in the last week is my bloodwork and breathing tests came back all good, which is a relief after working next to a chemical plant for 2 years. Maybe after she gets settled into this new apartment she can get stable and break up with me next year after the holidays are over. Now I've got to put up my laundry and eat with my parents while my mind slowly decays and I fill the void with porn and video games like I've done for the past 12 years
>>576200502 So far so good...one more month ought to do the trick. Fasting to get rid of weight. Vitamins, water...switched food addiction for booze, painkillers, valium. Working well. I want to feel the hunger. I want to feel the desperation of it. I want to feel every bit of it.
Im 19 and not doing well in community college for christ sakes. I should do my essay which is mostly done but it is due tomorrow. I shouldn't have quit my job, my one source of money. I can say whatever I want but I was just too lazy to go into work anymore.
Oh also her sister is so much fucking hotter than she is. Holy fuck the things I'd do to that girl. I think I might rather be with the sister than my girlfriend but I dunno, that would never work out. Life sucks.
>>576195117 Who even fucking cares about you stop talking to me what the fuck why did I do that holy shit did I just do that seriously no it was good I had to holy shit I could have fucked her though and I pussied out now she hates my she's so nice
Fuck you if you think I'm anything but human and fuck you twice if you think I'm worth anything. Keep your self-righteous bullshit in your own food bowl and let me slurp up the chunks of my own shortcomings in mine. Fuck the world that decided to take a shit on me in a span of 4 hours, and fuck the word fuck because it cannot even REMOTELY convey the amount of hatred I hold in my head right now. Life wasn't meant to live. Existing didn't necessarily imply that humanity needed it.
being in gay relationships with my best friends wouldn't be too bad. we'd live together for a while and probably find different partners afterwards. I'm not gay though. penises don't attract me. shemales don't either. traps don't either.
I've fallen in love with text multiple times. I am falling in love with text right now. how? chatting on Twitter with this girl from Singapore. when I dreamt romantically about her all we did was hug for a bit. no erotic dreams though. She had an appearance similar to that of Mishiro Shiino. Obviously I looked like Kanda Sorata then. Anime reference is Sakurasou no pet and something.
I am sitting with my blanket folded over my legs. my balls are a bit smelly, and I can scratch dirt off. I wonder what this dirt is. it's not sperm and its not mud or anything. I shower often enough so it shouldn't be there. It smells kind of weird. Scratching your butt and smelling is also weird. sometimes my asscrack smells like cheetos.
I'm sitting at midnight, and I have a project to work on in the morning. java programming in greenfoot. my project partner is going to quit the study, because he picked the wrong study and it didn't suit him. he cried when I talked to him about it, because he doesn't want to disappoint his parents.
Im fuckin mad at this girl i like, we used to be in an open relationship for 2-3 years, with time outs. So we finally hooked up again, but she has been pulling my nose for about 2 months. When we finally hooked up and started something again, she gets mad at me because i was hot dancing with another girl in front of her. I was fuckin drunk, and wanted to be with a girl. But this lady didnt want to dance so i found someone who was willing. Now shes mad, and i need to start all over again. Fuck me.
I need to get my shit together and get a new job, i shouldn't have quit the last one and the one before just to be with that fat whore. Everyone were nice to me and it was close to my place why did i listen to her? I would be better off without her, i miss living alone
She's fucking mine and it's hilarious bitch thinks she can break my heart and still wanna be friends. You're dealing with a sociopath here bitch. I don't care if you still have feelings for me. You have a boyfriend now, but when you finally cave and straight up come out with it, I'll have sex with you again. Of course I will. But don't think that it'll mend anything. I hit twice as hard when someone throws the first punch
>>576196483 I was recently suicidally for the same reason as yourself but found a new way of looking at life mainly through mindfulness meditation. That basically means being aware of your thoughts. Its so retardedly simple and ill go into why its been working if anyones interested but yeah, I swear by it.
Everyone elses answers are such critical reviews of their lifes content up to this point. I can't really put my finger on one thing that stresses me to the point where I am consumed by it. Maybe this is due to my line of work that I have such apathy towards my own affairs.
i cant stand to known there are people above us, the families that are behind the global banks and have been around for hundreds of years. Must be nice to know you're at the tippy top of the food chain.
So many edgy kids in here talking about their exes. I'm just hyped for my new shoes to arrive, also need to pick up a flannel shirt at some point, maybe /fa/ is getting to me. Also the streets are pretty good, not great, but good, don't mug yourself is probably their best song.
Is her anger the perfect match for my calm mind, or will it be the ultimate thing to send me back into the pit I came from? Piece of mind came so easy for me, why can't it for her. She has her moments, and in her moments, she's a goddess. Then there's the fury. The Jealousy. The ego. It never lasts long, but I always feel it for the rest of the day when it happens. I love her, but her anger might be both our downfalls. And maybe I'm too calm to do anything about. Maybe sloth will actually kill me.
Why does this hurt so much? I know she's fine with it, and I respect that. I feel so confused about how to behave around her. I always thought I wouldn't be some other nerd or douchebag to fall for her and be above them by just staying her friend. But no, I was wrong. I don't even want to love her, I don't want to think about us together. But all I can do is sit and stare while she asks me if I'm ok, and I have to say yes because I'm sick of dragging her in. That dream scared the shit out of me last night. She should never consider me. I'm not even her type. All I am is some boring stick in the mud who says no to everything and never likes anything. What chance do I have of keeping her entertained and happy? I should fuck off, she doesn't need my bullshit. I don't care if we've been friends for so long.
I am just hoping that in the end all will turn out happily. Where I am still young but have found the girl I want to marry. Little sex drive, only when she's ready. This sounds really beta, maybe even a bit delta, but it's what I want it to be in the end. I want a best friend girlfriend. One with whom I can just walk around, have silent moments with without it being awkward. I am also a sucker for Japanese culture and the way they deal with romance there.
I love the idea of receiving chocolate on Valentine's day. we don't do that in Holland. here it has to be anonymous and even then no one does shit. I love the build style of typical Japanese village houses. I don't want to call myself a weeaboo faggot. I mean I am not appearing in kawaii desultory kimotos everywhere I go, manga books in the hand. I love the culture,and I love Anime, but not aniculture if that makes sense.
You think you are better just because you have the high moral ground don't you? Just because its your job doesn't mean you can push your powers to their limits. I'm done with you. Not only that but those ass backwards illogical cuntstains that are educating the future of America. Jesus christ my lecturer can't even write his sentences correctly and lacks grammar abilities that render him down to the writing capacities of a 3rd grader. Ohh but he can teach us all about America because spelling doesn't mean shit. It's all about Jesus, gay black people, and freedom right? The fact that every nigger wearing oversized hats and the shit skin beaners that carry giant car speakers in their backpacks so they can blast their shitty music after class clapped to his liberal drivel is beyond me. Not only that but I can't stand the stupidity of every single fucking able minded human I encounter. It's like they can't see how fucking delusional they are. Is self awareness this fucking rare? Can they not control their actions and what comes out of their mouths?! Does anybody have any honest intentions anymore? Not that I would want to sound like Im proclaiming myself as a special snowflake. I'm probably just as two faced as every fucking self-centered, unaware, asshole that makes up our current generation. I am a bitter and cynical shut in. I'll admit that. I am not special. I am not above anybody and I especially do not consider myself the "self-aware" all knowing and friendly individual that I make myself up tp be. I just know and feel there is something terribly wrong with people and it's time something is done about it. I am not a happy person. I have lived enough to know that I am a fucking dissapointment to our species along with the rest of the modern day population. Maybe it's time I fix that. Oh I'll fix it. I'll fix them good. I'll fix all the fuckers. This will go down in history. They will remember me for this. They will want to forget. But I will not be forgotten.
Fucking college English sucks, teacher hands out too much home work and I can barely keep up. Only taking two classes but I have a job as well. She is a dyke and even told us straight up. Which isn't bad, but fuck her anyways. I'm doing perfectly fine in my A+ hardware class but not English? Eat my Irish meaty cock you Fucking dyke.
Sometimes i just think about how fucked up society is today. We are expected to start learning at a very young age, and the current school system is training our youth to think like robots. instead of learning about iimportant thinks that could affect our future, we are memorizing the date of the fucking Spanish motherfucking Armada. like seriously who gives a rats ass when queen elizabeth shaved her pubes? and then kids are expected to sacrifice valuable time they have to create social connecitons and have relationships so they can write a fucking 5 page essay on Richard the III. then we grow up, get a job, die, and none of it matters. at all. some things about this world need to be changed, and these fucking isisfags are not helping one bit
thank you for making this thread, had a lot on my mind lately
I shouldn't have done all those push-ups from the push-up thread last night. Now my shoulders are sore and my lower back hurts because my form sucks. At least I'm home and can relax. Feeling hungry though. I don't know if I want to have cold pizza or toaster strudel. Why not both? Lunch time.
I'm scared of not being able to do the programming homework given 2 weeks age and due in two days. I keep avoiding it. Am I smart enough for Computer Science? I don't know. I never saw any of this shit in highschool. The only thing I know is how to translate Latin and a little math. Not like that's going to help me with my homework. The professor has crazy high standards, I'm always behind on every class of Programming. Is it my fault for not studying Java whilst in high school? Why do the other students act like they can do everything while they can't do shit. Am I worthless? Am i lieing to myself? The other students probably all got it figured out. I hate these feelings...
I wanna play videogames but i want to be succesful and sjould work on that.
Im worried i wont love anyone else cause there boobs and butt wont be as good as hers but they werent even that great so idk why im thinking this. I think ill just get laid and then it wont be an issue.
I have considered suicide a few times. I am just too scared that whatever comes after will make me regret it so much. what if it's eternal sleep? No emotions? it'd feel sad. I'm not considering pulling the plug right now though. my life is looking up, even though the text I fell in love with lives on nearly the other side of the planet. Netherlands and Singapore, man. I don't even know what she looks like but the chemistry is still there. I can hear people screaming "she is he" but I am too naive for that. I can Actually cook Japanese style dinner. I made fried chicken the other day. Breadcrumbs, some kind of Japanese bbq sauce with Sake mixed in and white rice. It made a great meal. It's just one of the few things I love about the Japanese culture.
I should probably go to sleep soon. good night /b/rothers.
Being able to shit post on the Internet must be true freedom. It feels so incredible to stand here and be able to piss amongst this ocean of piss knowing it will all be forgotten. There are countless countries throughout the world where data is regulated and controlled who know nothing of the bliss we experience here in this anus. And so for a moment, let us reflect on the world of a shit poster. A world without the burden of rules, inherent order, or social hierarchy. Here we are free to post pictures of niggers being beheaded or even loli. It is a place of dreams, the last freedom we have left.
I have feelings for her and she says she likes me but I know she doesn't. I need to get over her. I have a shit job and I'm too lazy to find a better one. I can't talk to women without fucking it up. I don't know how to have fun. I am jealous of my uncle as he is a in a successful relationship earning 6 figure salary and travels the world constantly. I need to get off my ass and sort my own life out instead of sitting back and waiting for a miracle and do shit for myself I don't know what to do
Don't have any friends and never had a girlfriend. I'm too quiet, socially inept and inexperienced to acquire either of the above.
At 27 it is too late to late to even begin to learn these skills. Even when I do make an effort the fact that I'm a quiet guy means people want to get out of any sort of interaction with me as quickly as possible, the quietness and lack of flowing conversation is too awkward for them. They would rather speak to the next guy who can give them that.
I've read every self help book available, I've forced myself into so many "social" situations, clubs, activities, all to come up short and fail hard every time. It's just simply not going to happen for me. It hasn't for 27 years, it's not miraculously going to change one day in the future.
When my parents die, that's it, I'm all alone. I picture a sad 40 year old sitting in a dark apartment staring out a window.
Fuck that, need a way to kill myself before that scenario becomes reality.
>>576195117 What the fuck did you just fucking zippity-boo boppity, you little bow-wow? I’ll have you know I boppity top of my jello pudding, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret zip zops on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed zoobitys. I am trained in shoobity doobity and I’m the top rubble dubble in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another pudding cup. I will zoobity shoobity zip zop bop you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this boo boppity, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that zoo-wee-bop to me over the zip zop zoobity bobbity? Think again, doo-doo head. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of boop wips across the USA and your kodak film is being traced right now so you better prepare for the jello pudding, faggot. The storm that zoo-wops out the pathetic little bop wip you call your life. You’re fucking razzle dazzle, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can zoobity you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare razzle frazzles. Not only am I extensively shoobity in unarmed doobity, but I have access to the entire rubble dubble of the United States Marine Zoo-bippity and I will use it to its full extent to zoo-wow your miserable hurp off the face of the continent, you little durp. If only you could have known what unholy zoo-wow-wop your little “zow” zoopity was about to bring boop zoop zip, maybe you would have held your bow shoobity. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you zip zop. I will razzle frazzle fury all over you and you will zoo-boo-doobity in it. You’re fucking zow-wowed, kiddo.
It feels like everything in my environment is slipping away from me. Like everything is an illusion created by my own mind to make me believe there are people who love me and care about me. Like my girlfriend of over a year doesn't and my friends play along to mask up my insanity. Or that even my friends are fake and that i spent years in an illusion. That the time I thought of killing myself by jumping out of a window wasn't abrupted by me going back inside, but that everything from the moment I leaned outside througj the window has been a dream. That i actually fell and have been in a coma ever since.
That every good moment and personal progress from that moment has been a dream of sorts.
For some reason, today I've been a bit preoccupied with the image of an inland lighthouse. Being landlocked its light has no purpose of course, besides warning airplanes not to crash into it, but that makes it kind of sad in a way. It doesn't matter how well or beautifully it's built, or how strong its beam is, it can never fulfill the purpose that it was meant for, and is constantly attempting to reach out in futility to the ships that will never see it. Maybe I just have too much time on my hands.
She threw away my most personally and care for art, then asks me to give her clothes after not having talked to me for almost a year. It's almost sad, I still care about her, but not her ego.. the development of her soul, which is the only reason why I even started talking to her again.. because I just wanted to make peace with her, the past and the present. But apparently her dharma is still so thick that she can't get over herself. It's okay though. What will happen will happen, and there's no use dwelling on it. I'm just happy I'm lucky enough to have a human experience, and to know I'm further on the path to enlightenment than she is. My heart goes out to those humans just like her. I'll never lose compassion. I'll always love everyone and everything, regardless of how me ego responds to it.
I dont want to change the litter box. I dont want to do laundry but I need those jeans for work. Shouldve done it earlier when Chloe was sleeping. Tommorows job is going to suck nuts. Better not be a crazy pitch on a tall house or ill toss one of those solar panels right off the roof.
I just want power! I want to make. I think about it all day. I come up with plans but out of fear and not knowing how to go about these plans nothing comes of it. I want to make the world a better place, but I know that only hardship can bring that about. I need money but I work for minimum wage. I'd steal if I knew how to do it probably. I'll kill if I have to. I won't be a failure, a loser, like the rest of my family. I will make it. I will live forever or I will die quickly and bitterly!
I always though of myself as a sweet and nice guy but i've been fantasizing about abusing women and I don't know why. I know it's really fucked up I honestly don't really care. I think I might try to find a fucked up girl with daddy issues that I can beat on. I'm so fucking sleazy. I want to learn how to kill people.
I work at a pizza place and we have all these toppings and all these potential combinations that could perhaps make great pizza but my creativity is failing me and I don't want to make a pizza that I may not like because then that would be a waste of a pizza. Why god why.
I think I should just get addicted to World Of Warcraft and Painkillers.
Random assholes have come up to me a lot lately and try to start shit with me for no reason. I try not to fight but they leave me no choice. What they don't know is that I've been taking Muay Thai and Brazilian Jujitsu for about 5-6 years now, so after they realize that they fucked with someone they shouldn't have they try to play it off or walk away and I won't let them. I start beating the shit out of them until they stop moving, the worst part is that I'm starting to enjoy it. What the fuck do I do? I've dealt with ten people like this in the past two months...
just as the revolution will not be televised, this post will not have grammar. Yet Ive obeyed many rules to this point. Arse sniffer Joyce can write stream of consciousness but I can only write self indulgent wanky gibberish. just Watched that JARED Leto film with time travel and entropy. Made me think of all the missed opportunities and how there was a young girl I crushed on. Then another and another, each getting less and less special till this moment when I try to fuck whore but instead come to youtube weather girl compilations.
I'm unemployed again which sucks so much dick. Almost as much as the next job I'm bound to have. I've been having fun playing music, recording and such with my friends but damn. I'm gettin' broke. Gotta get that guap. Soon.
I had 1 year, 1 FUCKING year to finish my paper and I decided to leave it to the last moment as usual. On one hand, I think I can do it, I'm on vacation from work, that leaves me 2 weeks to finish the writing and other two weeks to program something i can then show. On the other hand, I can kill myself. I wish I could go back 1 year. Sometimes, when I go to sleep, I just think that i could have killed myself already, but I don't know what's stopping (apart from being an idiot/faggot/whatever).
Can I accept Chaning's offer of paying for a Psychologist to try to do some healing, or will my subconscious reel with pain from reestablishing and strengthening the traumatic bond with her? Feeling bleak nothingness would be better than that.
>>576195117 fucking dammit. shit just seems to happen all at once within a year: >cousin died >dad died >grandma died >mom engaged to some fag >mom leaves (not that bad at all. victory.) but doesnt leave me the fuck alone >try to find job, so far unsucessful. apparently i suck major dick >losing my dads shit, important stuff, all I had left of him >ate 5 grand out of my savings, still going >mom selling dads bike cause fuck it >paying my bills, and moms. >old car gets towed >fucking impound lot fee avoided with a vehicle release. win.jpg >water heater takes a shit
>>576195117 I hate/love my ex. Bitch is nothing but problems. Only calls when she wants something. Have sex with dudes and chicks. Terrible mother to our child. Wants me to co parent her other bastard by another man she cheated on me with. She's fat big tits dyke but I lover her still man
I want to be the best at the thing I love, even if I'm the only one who cares about it. All my friends are fat chicks, mostly. I was born to be alone, only sometimes though. I'm ok with that. I wish I didn't fuck up a lot. oh well. amor fati is a decent ideal. I wonder if I'll run sub 30 that would be great what do I want to do for a career? maybe being awesome. fuck, gurren laggan is so good.
Fuck I'm here on this shithole site again. Just wasting my time, not like I have anything better to do. Oh wait I do, I can study or do shit for work. But I'm too lazy and deadlines are in a few months. Fuck this shit, I gotta buy an agenda. Or play some games. At least I don't do drugs, thats alright. Got money, place and a gf, life is heading in the right way. Now I just need to manage not to fuck it up. Right, I should study or do shit for work. But it's late, gonna game and go out for a smoke after posting this. Nobody will ever take the trouble to read this shit so I have no idea why I'm actually typing. Damn you impulsiveness. I wish I would have done the dishes. Then I could pie in the sink. Fuck.
>>576208104 yeah I went through depression and all(tried to kill myself and stuff) they gave antidepressants and anxiolytics and such and then I started feeling this void and now... meh everything is tasteless and boring
>>576208276 That shit fucks me up that she likes to dump her kids off and go have have sex with neighborhood slut that fucks chicks on the regular then turns around and ask for money. she even thought about becoming a prostitute
Sometimes i fucking hate my life i wish she would like me im not gonna hug her anymore fucking bitch slut pussy afuckshit ahhhh fuckkkkkkkk i fucking hate this stupidnfuckingnpiece of shit fuck fucknfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
FUCK THIS GAY PLANET! and everything in it. life is some kind of unfortunate accident and it creates so much pain while serving no purpose... happiness is an illusion, it is constructed out of our own misery... everything is deterministic, we have no free will... i cant stop thinking that we might not understand time correctly, it might not be linear, and we are destined to relive this again and again... everone is the same thing in a different meat, just a different perspective... we get molded only by our genes and environment, none of which we can choose... theres no way im bringing new child into this meat thresher... i wish i could blow this planet to pieces or at least watch it from a distance how it slowly turns into idiocracy...
In the city, no one can see where they're going: maybe for the better. Songs are sung as quiet lullabies never passing the lips of their silent singers who sap at their lungs' resevoir of dirty city air in order to make fruitless musical arrangements of dreams and years left behind and gone by, respectively. Then there are the people who choose to sit up and let the words reach the bitter frosty smog outside their face. Buskers, they called them, where I came from, and they were the most annoying and lovable things on the damp streets of Galway.
>>576195117 Why am i alone? i have friends but even they ignore me half the time. My life is so fucked. my first girl friend just left me. i talked to her all day and she still felt ignored. 11,000 msgs in 2 months. i don't even know if that's a lot. but there is literally no one i talked to more. am i just one of those people that was just born to be alone? my own mother barley cares about me unless i make her look bad. im just a Fuck up. probably better if i just walk out into the desert and never come back. i cant even be good at video games i have thousands of hours on. My life is worth less then a flys at this point. why do i fuck up everything i touch?
>>576195117 Im back in the same town I was born in and I swore to the friends i met in university id never go back because id never get to leave if i did. In reality, this is the cheapest place to live after my plans fell through last week and im looking for a job to build up a basis of skills such as care for my body (which iv not done in a long time) and driving, i suppose ill survive, but it still fucking sucks balls
I failed in every aspect of life. No job, no degree, no love, no money, no driver license and a huge self-esteem issue that gets worse every day. I had my chance with her and I managed to fail miserably even there. It's the failure that hurts the most.
I am closer every day to become an hero. Random thoughts became plans, I'm thinking about picking a month next year to leave alone and jump from a high place far from home, after travelling until I'll be out of money. I am tired of living, and after years of nothing but unjustified sadness I'd rather die than seek help and add the fact that I have mental problems on the list of my failures.
I'm in my senior year of highschool. I'm already 1/4 of the way through the year. My grades are absolutely garbage. I enjoy writing stories and have a want for it as a career. I thought taking AP English would help me learn more about writing, also thought it would be like CP but slightly harder. I was completely fucking wrong. I have to analyze poetry and novels which can be soul wrenchingly boring. I haven't been given any assignments since the begining of the year, mfw I have a D. Worried about whether or not I want to college or get a shit job after highschool. I need to start caring.
That the girl that for a decade now that iv'e had feelings for and has come in and out of my life is paranoid szhicopphenic (spelling sorry) just was told by her saturday . Just like my mother but not as bad. I am a good looking man. In all sense a fucking alpha. In our group of about 20-30 friends. I have picked from the litter of women. But I never could read her. Ever. I think I know why now. Threw the year's I kept my feelings to myself until about 4 year's ago. I flat out told her. I told her to not say anything about hers. That after 6 year's of keeping it to myself I don't wanna know and regret not doing anything. Well at time's I figured there was something but didn't act on it due to young age at the time. as things tend to not work out in the late teens and early twentys.
At the end of my relationships she would pop in. she been with the same guy for a bit now. I have cut contact before just to remove the stress building up. People always assumed we where dating when younger and many boyfriends thought she was cheating. I was that guy that would have but I had a backlog of poon. Plus couldnt figure if I could. we now I have ended another relationship. She is currently talking with me. ( I know the signs are there But I remain ignorant)
Cannot put all of the thoughts going on but its all a fucing mess. I am used to her problem. Because of my mom. I am at a conflict of interest. Cause I believe she is in a bad place with her current boyfriend. And as most women do. Once they are they look for a backup plan. Again only so much can be posted about a span of 10 soon to be 11 years of shit. but yeah I think I am gonna try.
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