Could some kind anon dump their baww folder?
I need to feel a feel.
>Flying to the moon just to give Earth a thumbs up
you are the combination of millions of years of evolution with the most advanced physique and raw mental power of any life form that ever existed on this planet, current;y using the internet, the most complete and easily accessible database of the combined knowledge of the the human race....
>you need a hobby not a baww thread
aaaaand i'm done. good luck, /b/rother
I want to rise above all this shit and for her to notice me again. To be reminded of why she cared in the first place. But no matter what I do that just won't happen. She's moved on.
can i just get some advice? if not just ignore this story, its not baww, just confused teenager in over their head..
>Met her in highschool, she was so happy and bubbly and she just made everything alright.
>she helped me through a tough break up
>always happy to see me
>one day i mention "yeah lesbians are hot, i mean wouldn't you kiss another girl"
>gets mad at me
>doesn't talk to me, i say whatever, we dont talk for almost 6 months.
>we see each other at a party
>end up going out on a vacation with her
>take her virginity
>ask her out
>ff a few months
>sex a lot, but it seems to be slowing down..
>im happy though.
>she starts talking about the future, i like talking about the future so i do too.
>she likes my career choice, i like hers
>the best of friends, always talking.. she gets mad at me a lot, but never for more than a day..
>she ran out of her place in the pouring rain one time because she was mad at me for something stupid. I chased her about a half mile before she stopped..
>she just sat down and cried and cried..
>i fixed it like i always do.
>i was there for her like i always am
>i cant bring up that i want a threesome, i tell her i'm happy with just her because sometimes i am i just.. idunno i feel like im missing out..
>got engaged over the summer
>she was PISSED at me on the way out because blah blah poor planning didnt tell me about hike out
>i get there and am like will you
>she cries, says yes, appologizes for being bitch, sex on a mountain face
>here we are now, 6 months in and i'm wondering if i'm ready..
>some days i think i am
>then shit like the OP story happens where i make out with drunk chicks because it just happened.... and i worry if i'm ready at all
>i just dont know..
By your story whenever theres a mistake on either side, you fix it.
If you fuck up, fix it.
If she fucks up, help her fix it.
If you asked her to marry you, you arent wrong. far from that.
You're just afraid.
I want someone to make me happy.
Even all the times I don't want to be happy.
Is that too much to ask?
>get a new little girl 5 months old
>Everytime she sees me she smiles
>think im her dad
>will go back to her parents
>they will fuck it up
>she will ounce about care and no doubt grow up a whore or damaged
Looking into her eyes breaks my heart, All that warmth and joy at the world will get ripped away from her over time until she is just another drone paranoid to look someone in the eyes
People do not deserve what the world does to them
It's been so long.
I wish she would talk to me again.
Or even just a smile.
I'm gonna share a story with you anons. I don't mind if you read it or not I just feel like I need to put it out there. I met a pretty cool girl and we never got serious and I thought we were friends but she doesn't talk to me anymore for some reason. My friends have all moved away and none of them talk to me anymore. My cousin died around this time last year and I was able to make it to her funeral and my aunt has been calling me telling me how bad I should feel for not making it there. My dad just went through his second divorce and we don't talk anymore now. My grandma's brother just died and she tried not to cry when I talked to her. All she said was she knows I'm a good person and I will do good. My coworkers think I'm a pretty good guy and want to go drinking with me someday but someday hasn't come yet even when I said I'd pay for their drinks. They tell me I'm this great person and a lot of people look up to me because I take care of them. I can't even take care of myself anon. I'm no amazing person. I've fought it for so long coming back to my apartment alone sitting in the dark doing anything to occupy my time. But I finally broke. It finally got me anon. The crippling loneliness fucking got me. I broke down and shead a few tears and now I can't stop it anon. I've stopped crying long enough to type this but I feel it coming again. I just want a hug
People who are already happy don't want much from a relationship probably. But I guess that means they also don't want to give much. And that makes me feel alone even around others.
I'm sure there might be some people that are fine with always being on the giving end, but from experience over the years I know it takes a toll on most people. It's about two people finding a balance of what works.
Going off this picture, I always feel that people don't give a shit about what I have to say and only wait until I'm done and don't even acknowledge what I just said. And how they listen, it just seems like I'm talking to myself because they don't give a shit, they just want me to shut up. I think about this all the time when I'm talking to someone.
>guy is posting on CL about teaching chess
>always wanted to learn chess, even though it's a double edged sword
>contact and set up a coffeehouse meet even though I don't coffee
>he says, "how much are you paying?"
tfw the whole time he just wanted me to pay him to be a chess teacher instead of to have someone to play chess against
It's not like I just want to leech on someone. You'd never know, but I have a very cheerful, bubbly personality, and I laugh at other people's jokes. I might even have some of my own to tell. It's just that these past months it doesn't feel good any more. Generally when you talk to someone for some time you have a feeling of "that was great" afterwards, but all I feel is "wow, I didn't really enjoy that at all," and I want to stop feeling ashamed of who I am around others. I'm even contemplating whether or not to bother sending this because it just looks completely random and trite. Nothing can be extracted from this confession. Just how stupid does a person have to be to be unable to make a fucking confession? Jesus Christ. But what do you care. A stranger in misery, sure there's lots of those already. Homeless, bully-victims, children of divorce, people with cancer, family members of people with cancer. Against those my qualms are nothing.
Hey /b/ i was wondering if anyone knows of a video that was in a feels thread once. It was a black guy talking to his friend at a grave and he brought a blanket and some soda for his friend and he was laughing for the first hallf then he broke down crying? thanks bros
I just.. i feel depressed.. thats part of why i'm here in this thread.. I feel like no matter what I do, its not ever enough and sometimes I just want to be alone, but she tries to spend every minute with me.. I just want to be alone sometimes and I can't.. i dont know..
there is nothing to be scared of
you won't be around to feel it
There's a lot of people that are like that, they may as well be brick walls.
Toad made this perfect.
I'm very similar but I don't understand why you feel ashamed.
Can I tell a story? Would you guys be interested?
Fuck it, I'm going anyway.
>Laying down, watching Netflix
>"Are you still watching Chuck?"
>Turn my head
>qt 3.14 sleeping on top of me
>She's breathing softly, moving occasionally to get more comfortable
>Kiss her head and rub my hand along her back
>She wakes up and looks up at me
>I kiss her cheek
>One month later
>Conversations between us slow
>"Are you upset with me?"
>"Not particularly upset, but you've been acting weird lately."
>Explain how I decided to take too much onto my plate
>Says she needs some space for a while, we can still be friends
>Few weeks later
>Her best friend
>"You screwed up everything good you had. Don't expect us to be around for your petty problems."
>That's fucking it
>Fly off the handle
>Start saying some hurtful things
>Still confident I can handle everything on my plate
>Tell her to fuck off, the door's over there
>She doesn't hesitant to take it
>Laying down, watching Netflix
>"Are you still watching Chuck?"
>Turn my head
>Phone has one leering message
>It's from her
>It's indirect, but I know
>"If you think you can treat my best friend like shit and you still think I would want anything to do with you, you're insane."
I wrote this about 4 years ago, back when /b/ was a nightly multi-hour thing in my life. Every once in a while when I'm browsing for porn .webm's or whatever I open baww threads to see if someone ever posts this.
It has been about 14 months since I've seen it and it makes me SO FUCKING HAPPY when I see it posted, like someone understands.
I feel ashamed because I'm a loser. People seem to think that I'm not aware of this. When you lose something, you know you lost. You acknowledge it and you feel bad about it. When you lose at life it's the same thing. You wake up and feel like a loser and right before you go to sleep you lay in your bed and feel like a loser. And people remind me of this more than anything. Whenever I talk to someone it's in the back of my head more than ever. I can't truly enjoy myself because what if they somehow get a hint that I'm the biggest fuck-up they've ever really met? I can't find satisfaction in a relationship like that.
>meet coolest girl ever
>I'm not a kissless virgin or anything but this chick is cool as fuck
>ask her out, she says no because she's leaving for the other side of the country in a few months
>respect that, it's reasonable
>get drunk, hit on her via text
>she tells me she likes me but was just trying not to complicate things
>basically comes down to if she doesn't go home, we'd date
>tells me a week later that a guy who asked her out back home is coming to visit
>I ask her after he's gone how her weekend was
>she hasn't answered yet
We'll see each other this Tuesday and every tuesday until the end of the semester. Fuck my life.
and here i thought i had it bad trying to decide if i was happy with my relationship in college.. fuck im spoiled.. I'll talk to you. whats your life like besides qt3.14 being a bitch?
I'm not sure if I'm able to understand. I've always felt like a fuck up but I've used it as like a point of expectation. If I fail then I'm living up to what I expect, anything beyond that is more than expected. Then again I'm a guy that continually throws away a life of opportunity so that's not saying much.
>Playing with someone's emotions by joking around
Kind of a dick move.
>Killing yourself in response.
Scars the girl for life, and can actually be described as an evil act. You know, in addition to the fact that you're FUCKING DEAD
IT HURTS TO BE DEAD
Teddy Roosevelts diary entry of the day both his mother and wife died
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She's not a bitch, she's just like most other girls who let one boneheaded move define you more than all the good shit you've done.
Or maybe she is a bitch, I don't know. All girls I've known do that.
Other than her, it's alright. Not good, not bad. Just average.
I may not be so much better as I am numb, but I was way too sensitive anyway. Plus, I was randomly offered a job last year, and it turns out I'm good at that job. I have to talk to customers fairly often and even though I wanted to thrown up at the thought of talking to strangers over time I've calmed down and can "more-easily" talk to others I don't know (including cute girls). I still am depressed and hate life but I've used that as fuel to make myself a better person. That, and I spend more time on hobbies (gardening, reading into philosophy, survival/primitive camping skills and working on cars) and interests now instead of dark bedroom internet mind-numbing distractions. If people want to get better they really do need to just force themselves to talk to others, to find like-minded people who enjoy the same things because it isn't so much practice in socializing but comfort in it. And my hobbies are all solo things that when I can talk about them people go "oh wow so cool wow" and it is a huge boost to my confidence.
Love you to.
Probably isn't real
But if you pretend it's real ..
Decided to cut contact with 'her' last month. I think about her a lot. Should I send her Christmas/birthday messages/presents? She's never remembered mine. I guess I want her to know I'm thinking about her but it's pretty fucking dumb because she doesn't want that and it won't change her mind. I guess receiving a present from me wouldn't even make her happy, would probably make her uncomfortable.
not even, partials are easy, vectors are a cakewalk, im a damn physics major.. Its the fact that i never really learned chain rule and what not, i use wolfram alpha for everything and have gimped myself. I literally couldn't figure out how to derive (x^2-y^2)/(x^3+y^3) because i couldnt remember chain rule. I knew that x was just a constant and that i'd treat it as such, but i couldn't remember the damn formula..
I see. Yeah, chain rule is one of those things that seem easy but trip you up real easy. I used to do the chain rule no matter the problem. If I didn't need it, the the chain piece would be irrelevant (1) and I'd move on making knowing that I had my bases covered.
I like that idea.. I just need to study harder.. and stop dicking around. i'm actually writing a paper right now oddly enough.. though this is for History. the girl and i are gonna have an argument because i have to finish this and "why isnt it done yet it shouldn't take this long" its just stupid
I always had to keep my roommate on his toes. He was the worst procrastinator when it came to things like essay. I seriously think that the only reason he didn't fail English 113 and 123 was because I made him write his essays.
this thread is whiny Betamax
to each his own I guess
Love sucks. You have two possible options in a relationship. If you fall in love first you are treated like garbage and underappreciated until the other person breaks it off. If they fall in love then you don't care about them and are bored and looking for the better option. I guess for the sake of evolution and producing ever better offspring we must deal with shitty heartbreaking relationships.
Yeah. I mean every teacher I've had from elementary school to college has told me my writing is great (superb, said one), but I don't think I could write books and shit. Maybe screenplays. I could probably write a children's book.
There is a regular who came in once and was practically drooling when she saw me. She was heading to a popular beach destination and was mildly hinting I should go with her. Being too much of a retard I was hella shy and awkward and she left. Next time I saw her...I actually fucking talk to her like a normal person. She laughed a few times and is maybe a 5/10 to most but has a face for me that is easily 8/10 and is about 10 years old than I (that fact she wants me in her bed makes her 11/10 obviously). Shit dude if I can not blow my spaghetti I might actually move to the next fucking level in life. A lady on the side (she lives about 100 miles away) no more v-card and the confidence therein might make me not want to end it all.
Momentum in a son of a bitch.
I forgot to attach this and I just realized it 50 minutes later. Pic related.
feel better, anon
You're doing all the right things. Try going to more community events and stuff, especially on university campuses. You'll meet more people. But if you're on a campus, you should probably have something academic you're interested in, else people might assume you're some sleeze who wants to in2 freshmen students.
My friend from high school went there and he said the campus was great, the school was better, and the professors were very good. But he only went there for a nuclear engineering undergrad
Ill just throw my story in maybe some can relate
>be 8th grade
>be one of the cooler kids, i was funny and had the metabolism of a god
>group project, build groups from 3-4
>me 2 buddies and that silent new girl, lets cal her zoe, she was a 7/10 but she was the only girl in school i realy liked even tho i never talked to her much besides "hi"
>decide its my chance i will win her with humor and bros backing me up
Now there is 1 thingbto note: i never know when to stop, mostly it just led people to stop laughing or just them telling me to stop
>anyway, start of with jokes about teacher, myself and so on
>girl and bros laugh
>run out of jokes and need a new subject
>fuck it, make joke over girls clothing(her family was poor)
>zoe turns silent but bros keep loosing their shit
>this goes on until she storms out crying
>i fucked up
>class goes silent but turn bavk to their task pretty fast(teacher was outside doing whatever) and i forget about it
>next day teacher tells us that zoe killed herself
>everyone is shoked, "why...?"a girl studders
>cut her wrists immedeatly after she ran home, left a note saying how her crush betrayed her
This happend years ago
I still think about it in every baww thread reading the stories of people being humiliated by their loved ones
>mfw im the monster in your stories
Every time I see threads like this, and all the people sharing how they feel, their stories, etc. I want to share how I feel too, so I click this reply box, which has been used for many a "faggot" or "douchebag", and I just sit with my hands on the keys trying desperately to sort through my feelings. But I never type anything, and I just realized why. I don't feel anything anymore, other than the occasional sadness or anger. I don't know exactly when this happened but I suppose it doesn't matter anymore.
I just want to feel things again. When I see a school shooting on the news I want to feel empathy, when something good happends I want to be happy.