>New girlfriend 8/10 finally leaves me alone in apartment

>>575693915
>Stick it in your ass.
>Realize all dildos are made purposefully bigger.
>Realize she bought it before you.
>Keep it until she gets home.
>Let her suck you off.
>Have the best orgasm of your life.
>Stop being so insecure.

>>575693915
sit on it

Break up with her. You will never satisfy her.

>>575694093
I keep a modest dildo
its about the same size as my dick with an extra inch to hold on

Throw it at her while screaming at the top of your lungs.

File: 1413644880012.jpg (29KB, 480x473px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 480x473px

that picture is a picture of an average dick, but it's made of plastic and not attached to a 10/10 guy.

she knew you were going to snoop, she left it there for you to find, she wants to cuckold you op

>>575694252
faggot

captcha was "modesty telephone" wtf

bro, stick it up your ass.

>confront her about it
>tell her you fell like you'll never be enough for her
>be really hurt
>make her feel like she did something wrong by having it
>get dat I'm sorry" pussy
>right when she feels like you've forgiven her smash her heart to pieces
>put on aviators
>walk away
>spit on her dog

Know that feeling op

>>575693915
Most dildos are bought as gag gifts and shit. I wouldn't think too much about it.

File: photo (1).jpg (592KB, 1632x1224px) Image search: [Google]

592KB, 1632x1224px

>>575694252
Op here, it's a bit more than an extra inch

>>575694905
>implying

I've known girls who have a type of book circle about dildos

she put it there so you wouldn't jack off with her panties.

fuck her in the ass while she masturbates with it

or be a faggot and yourself in the ass while she sucks you off

Dispose of it and replace it with one that's 30% larger. Do this on a regular basis until she's totally destroyed, then leave.

>>575694981
this has to be a gag or else her pussy is a black hole

I have heard a girl shoved a lava lamp up her vag to stretch it, maybe you found her

>>575694981
you're fucked dude

>>575694981
is this a mold of your dick?

>>575694981
you're going to be a cuckold

File: 1409669780561.gif (992KB, 240x135px) Image search: [Google]

992KB, 240x135px

>>575694981

>>575694981
Oh shit dude im sorry,
There is always anal, unless...

>>575694851
Bbut the dog did nothing. He shouldn't deserve such treatment. Hold the dogs head in your hands and say "I'm so sorry for what you must go through" and walk out, the dog will be so confused.

>>575695142
10/10 idea

>>575695060
Yeah, it's weird. The only dildo my girlfriend ever owned was this alien thing that vibrated and twirled and beaded and all that shit. She didn't buy it, her friends did for her 21st or something. And it just sits in the panty drawer gathering dust.

>>575694905
this isn't even close to true.

>>575693915
op you should text her and ask about it

>>575694851
>spit on her dog

lel

>>575693915
Grow a man's penis. Bitch.

>>575694981
ok bro im gonna break it to you
youre below average in size. that dick is what? 5inches?

>>575694981
lol you are a five incher at best
your chances to keep her are so close to nil that it hurts a little

>>575694981
how big is the dildo?

>>575695614
What should I say? Also laptop is here to /b/, next step? MAkes me nervous.

>>575694905
Wow. The delusion is strong with this one.

>>575694981
Dude she is your girlfriend. As long as you have no micropenis (and I see you haven't) it does not matter. Relax and don't start to get insecure, THAT would be ruining it. But never your dicksize.

File: 1411680926250.jpg (33KB, 415x497px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 415x497px

>>575694981

>>575695890
i would just use it on her while fucking. who cares if its a huge fucking dildo. put it her in pussy and put your dick in there with it. or face fuck her while she fucks herself with it. or put it in her ass while you fuck her twat or vice versa.

>>575695093

>fuck her in the ass while she masturbates with it

This guy knows what's up. She'll love it and you'll get to fuck her ass all the time, bro.

>>575695061
This

>>575695670
That is the average doe

>>575695890
can you show us her dirty panties?

>>575695767
not full hard

File: HICCUP.jpg (322KB, 1600x1200px) Image search: [Google]

322KB, 1600x1200px

>>575693915
So it turns out that your girlfriend likes dicks, what a surprise that must be.

>>575695649
this

dude there's no way she actually uses that

smell it

>>575696104
These are all good suggestions. Don't be beta, OP. Embrace it. At least it isn't black.

>>575694981
but your dick is sooooooooooooo small.....

>>575695890
You should really snoop for her diary

>>575696176
this op don't be a fgt

File: 1411585095963.jpg (23KB, 500x330px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 500x330px

>>575696000
Trips don't lie.

>>575694981
Also mfw when I saw that pic.

>>575696186
post a pic of this 8/10 you nigger

>>575694252
swap her dildo with yours. will make an awkward conversation or she won't even mention it at all

>>575696290
Any Dick would look small next to that thing

>>575695890
Omg go through her laptop and copy all picture and movie files, also snoop through her FB and e-mail.

>>575693915

My wife's dildo e that is twice that size. Tell your girlfriend to stop being such a pussy

>>575696140


on /b/ the average is at least 8 inches. Everyone here is a lonely genius with gigantic cocks that would "totally kick that guys ass if he ever did that to me".

>>575696186
Even so. You must be between 5 and 6 inches. Small to average cock for a whore that enjoys monster dicks means failure. Deal with it.

Well clearly her shit is broken now, find new gf

>>575696559
8!? HA! get your 8 inch micropenis out of here!

File: PA191924.jpg (479KB, 1200x1600px) Image search: [Google]

479KB, 1200x1600px

>>575694981
That shit is tiny.

File: 12.png (138KB, 500x282px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 500x282px

>>575696251
>mfw smells like pussy and weird plastic bro

>>575696549
>my wife's
>my mom's

ftfy

>>575696000
For real, this is the best advice. My husband knows I have sex toys. One is a bigger than he is. It isn't because I want a bigger dick, it is because I want a dick that I can control. Sometimes I like bigger, most of the time I like smaller. It is just a toy. It isn't like it compares to the real thing at the end of the day.

>>575693915
Usually women buy dildos in the siz e of cocktail they have taken. Like for when a BF is gone for a weekend or week, she can use it on herself. It's one thing for both of you to go together and buy one to spice up bedroom play, it's another for her to still have one from a previous relationship , especially if she didn't tell you about it.

>>575696549
/thread

>>575696798
ayy lmao

>>575696140
>>575696791
O yeah I forgot, they also imply a lot. I said the average was 8, and somehow that is "my" penis. Man I really miss being 15 sometimes.

>>575696872
Tits please

>>575696838
the fuck nigga, you atcually smelled that shit?
if she didn't use it, it wasen't there

>>575693915

i have a dildo about that size and love love love it. but the only guy i've been with was a lot smaller and it hurt, no fun. go figure

>>575693915
Um take it and when she gets home fuck her and whip it out and supprise her and ask to fuck her in the ass while you smash her cunt with it or lick her out and fuck her with it while she gives you a blow job....

Just relax, if she didnt like you why would she be in a relationship with you? and im sure shell respect you more if you're up to play around with it as well

>>575695142
lost it

>>575696990
Suck a dick, maybe a plastic one.

>>575693915
put it in your pooper

>>575695142
Also, don't be a faggot and do this

File: image.jpg (4KB, 119x125px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 119x125px

>>575694981
Woahhhh how do you even feel the walls of her vagina when you go in brah? If she's using that her pussy is bigger than the fucking bat cave

>>575696970
i was playing the person you just described faggot

Are you sure that that is the average size OP? Complete the following equation just to be sure :

((L*D)+(W/G))/(A^2)
Length times Diameter plus Weight over Girth divided by Angle of the tip squared

>>575697115
Tits or gtfo bitch

File: 1394195922992.jpg (77KB, 437x468px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 437x468px

>>575694981

that dildo looks like a copy of your dick, same head and shit ..except heaps bigger of course ..that dildo is way over sized and does not necessarily indicate the size she likes but I'm not going to feed you bullshit, you have a below average dick size ..based off your hand

>>575694851
top kek

>>575697441
The poster never even mentioned gender retard. Could be a gay married couple.

File: image.jpg (26KB, 389x450px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 389x450px

>>575695142
>underrated post
>top kek

>>575695142
dat HSD Kenichi idea

File: 1337311082804.jpg (45KB, 600x480px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 600x480px

>>575695142
>????
>Profit!!

>>575697584
Off yourself whiteknight faggot