Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps. The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact. You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random
This will disgust 99% of you faggots who read it, but I’m writing it for the one percent who will enjoy it. I suggest to you that if you will be disgusted by reading about love, you should steer away. You’ve been warmed...flames ignored.
My daughter likes cum. She should, she was raised on it. I taught her how to suck cock when she was four, and she’s 11 now. At one point last year, I estimated that my daughter had drank over two gallons of sperm in the last seven years. Almost half of that was mine. While most of you faggots beat off to the idea of doing a little girl, I have the guts to actually do it.
See, I’ve always had two fetishes: Little girls and semen. Ever since I first ejaculated, I’ve been somewhat turned on by cum. I masturbated often as a teenager; three to five times a day, so sperm and I were very familiar with each other. Mainly, I just liked, and still like, to watch a woman drink cum. Everyone I’ve ever had sex with more than twice has eaten my cum (or I never saw her again). My first wife was a real good sport and would do about any spermy thing I suggested. She ditched me three years after we were married for some gay faggot, leaving me with a three year old girl.
When I was 12 or 13 I molested a couple of neighborhood 6 year olds. They acted as if they had a good time getting their pussies felt up in that old garage (and they even appeared to enjoy jacking off my cock). So naturally I often wished I could live through it again. Well, when my daughter was four, a year after my wife left, I realized that having my own daughter was the chance I’d been waiting for.
I thought it over for a couple of months. I analyzed the consequences. And the benefits! I came up with an action plan to turn my daughter into the sperm-loving sex machine that you faggots jack off to every night. I decided to start by teaching her what big girls do, play with themselves. She loved it when I would rub her little clit with my little finger all lubed up with KY, although she didn’t orgasm until she was 9. I encouraged her to masturbate often—I’d even ask her if she’d masturbated that day when I’d put her to bed. Often I would watch her sitting with her hand in her panties when we watched t.v. She told me she even did it at school sometimes under her desk while no one was looking, which I then encouraged because hearing about it really turned me on.
My next step was to introduce her to the world of vibrators. On her fifth birthday, I brought out the smallest vibrator they had at my local sex shop. I spent several nights teaching her how to use it, but I never gave it to her. I said it was something we were going to share and that she couldn’t have it until she really knew how to use it. So, since she loved it, she came asking for it...just like I’d planned. Only by this point, she had to earn the vibrator.
Right after we started with the vibrator, I showed her how to rub my cock. She started with KY on her tiny hands, sliding them up and down on the shaft. After I came, we would play with the cum and gradually smear it all around on my chest. This was to show her that cum was fun, and that I wasn’t grossed out about it (like most guys are). We talked about how everyone has fun with cum. By the third time we did that, she was just as excited about how much and when I came as I was.
So, I decided the next step was for me to cum on her tummy so we could smear it around on her skin. By then, we were messing around every night when I put her to bed. About the fifth time I’d cum on her hands, I shot again on her chest. Only this time I bent down and made a big show of lapping up my own cum from her skin. I’m not that crazy about the taste myself, but I’m willing to do it if it will help convince a female to do it for me. (And sometimes I love to suck my cum from the pussy I fucked, as a show of appreciation they don’t soon forget.) I acted like I’d never tasted it before. After I was done licking it all up, she asked what it tasted like and I told her that it wasn’t bad, but not good. But I also said that most girls say they grow to love it.
The next time, I didn’t suggest she try it. I was hoping she’d just do it, and she did. I shot on her chest, she rubbed her fingers in the cum, then brought one up and licked it. I about came again! It was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen…my baby girl tasting her father’s cum for the first time. I wish I had a video of that time!
She screwed up her face and said, "yuck."
"You’ll get used to it sweetheart," I said.
I rewarded her with another orgasm at the hands of Mr. Vibrator. The very next night, I went down on her for the first time. She loved it, but it sort of tickled her more than made her sexually stimulated.
"Now it’s your turn," I said.
I suggested she treat my cock like a lollipop and lick it up and down, which she did for several minutes. I also had her cup her little hand around my balls and squeeze them gently, but she often forgot to do this and I would have to hold her hand in mine and lead her.
Finally, I had her put as much of the head into her mouth as would fit. And then I taught her to jack off the big cock sticking out of her face, while I verbally coached her to suck hard. I kept my hand around my cock over both of hers so that I was insured of the correct pressure, and in about a minute, I came hard. She didn’t expect such an explosion I guess and pulled her mouth off the head. I shot another right onto her lips and nose, yelling, "put it back in your mouth! Open your mouth!" So she opened and I had put put the tip inside when I shot again. "Swallow it," I yelled.
She obediently swallowed just as I shot another hot squirt. She appeared to get that one down also, but the fifth or so was too much, so I pulled out and and dribbled the rest down her nose and cheeks and lips. Cum from my fifth squirt dripped out her lips. I had completely covered my little girl in hot sperm! Fucking amazing!
"Oh, you were so good," I said to her. "You made Daddy shoot so hard. Oooh, you look so pretty with cum on your face. Go look in the mirror!"
She got up and ran to the mirror on the bedroom wall and looked at herself draped in white. I walked over to her and began to rub the cum around on her cheeks and nose and lips. She smiled at me in the mirror and I knew I was going to get to do this again, maybe many more times.
And many more times I did. I got really busy for awhile with working and only got the chance to "practice" with Marika a couple of times a week. But I had her into being a cocksucking pro within a couple of months. And best of all, she said she really liked to do it. Imagine! A five-year-old who loves to suck cock and eat cum! Yes, that was my Marika.
I never forced her, and she would often initiate our sex play. I would lick her pussy for hours, even stick my little finger in her while I did. Or I’d do gooey vibro rubs with a KY- covered vibrator. She loved it, and she wanted to do it almost everytime she went to bed. So, I started having her sleep in my bed so that after I’d blown a hot load down her throat, we could both cuddle and go to sleep. And that’s the way it went for a long time.
As fetishes do, I started to get deeper into it with Marika. I came on her face, or on her pussy and watched her rub it in. I came on a saucer and watched her suck the cum up with a straw, and I came on a spoon and spoonfed her cum when she was six.
Also when she was six, I started showing her porno films and magazines. I picked the raunchiest, cummiest ones, too. I wanted her to see women drowning in cum and loving it, so I picked the gang bang videos and mags. Of course, I had to explain all about sex then, and she was very curious. But there was no way I was trying vaginal penetration of any kind with a six-year-old, so I told her she would have to be older for that. At least 8, for Chrissakes!
You see, it was never enough! I became sexually obsessed with watching Marika drink cum. My cum just wasn’t enough. Ever…I always wanted more cum for my baby. And she did too. Sometimes we’d even save up 10 or 12 cums in a jar in the freezer, then thaw it and I’d feed it to her, helping myself to some as well.
I told her how dogs needed to have their balls drained almost every day, just like Daddy did, and if she wanted to keep a pet, she would have to take care of him. She seemed to understand, and thus began a long relationship between Marika and doggie cock that still goes on today. Meanwhile, I could count on a blowjob every night, but it would always cost me a cuntlapping or a vibrating. Sometimes, particularly on the weekends, we would do it once in the afternoon also, and it was on one of these times, down on the living room floor, that I decided to show her how to suck the dog’s cock. I didn’t really know how, never having did it, but I tried it anyway. Basically, I just put my head against the couch and let the dog hump my mouth, keeping my hand around the shaft to keep it from going to far in. It worked and he came in no time. I made a big show of letting the cum ooze out of my mouth as he shot. It tasted better than my cum, and I told her that. It was also obvious that the dog would cum much more than me.
"Next time, you can do it while I lick your peepee," I told her.
"Okay," Marika said excitedly.
Marika took to sucking the dog regularly. I showed her other ways to suck him, and also had her jack his cum off onto her where we would rub it around on her. That often turned me on that I had to shoot in her mouth also, so many was the night when my baby drank what amounted to as a small glass of cum before bedtime. I always encouraged her to drink as much of the sperm as she could, telling her it was good for her, and there was always too much for her.
Of course, meanwhile, I also encouraged her to masturbate often, and she would have her hand in her panties much of the time she was home. When we’d take camping vacations together, she would masturbate in the car or let me masturbate her as we drove. It was hot! Our vacations always involved lots of oral sex.
I started to penetrate her little pussy with the vibrator before her seventh birthday, getting it in almost an inch. I told her she needed to start working it inside her more and more each day if she wanted to experience my dick in there, and we talked about her hymen and how she had to break it eventually and how it would hurt but would heal fast. She really did start to work at it during her masturbation sessions. I showed her how to use the vibrator inside with her left hand while her right fingers worked her clit for the ultimate experience. Or, I would use it in her while sucking her clit. It was great fun. But the vibrator was so short, there was little chance of breaking her hymen.
For her eighth birthday, I gave her a much larger vibrator; about the size of a 11-year-old boy’s cock. It was about four and a half inches long and maybe an inch in diameter, if that. I knew she understood why I gave her that, but I didn’t say anything more about breaking her cherry. I just hoped she would take care of that for us.
Also about that time, I really wanted to see her suck another man and drink his cum. Sure the dog was great, and I even volunteered to watch a neighbor’s dog when they went away and had Marika suck him too. And sure we continued to have a great amount of cum play with my cock, but like all addictions, I just wanted more. But I couldn’t think of a way to hook up with other men who would enjoy a blowjob by an eight-year-old. If I’d had the Internet three years ago, then I wouldn’t have had any problem, but I wasn’t able to fulfill that fantasy until this last summer.
>>573781151 Her eyes are light blue that you were effortlessly mesmerized by, with long skinny eyelashes in the colour midnight that she flicked almost constantly. Her skin is slightly lighter than Ivory, with a metallic rose coloured tint to her cheeks. Her champagne blonde hair falls loosely over her shoulders into skinny, slack curls. Her lips are like a rose.
About midway between her eighth and ninth birthdays, Marika showed me one night that she could get the larger vibrator almost all the way in! Her hymen had broken. I was so excited, but I decided to wait until her ninth birthday to penetrate her with my cock. So, I contented ourselves with fucking her with the vibrator every chance I could. I liked to start off some nights by having her jerk my cock onto her pussy, then I’d fuck some cum inside her with the vibrator and rub her clit with the cum as lube. More than once, I had her jerk off the dog on her pussy instead and that was really a turn-on for both of us. More times than not, I came in her mouth, but I’d also cum in the crack of her ass, on her chest, neck or face, and even in her hair. When I came on her front side, I would often scoop up the cum on my fingers and feed it to her bit by bit until it was all cleaned. Or sometimes we’d just rub it around on her and let her fall asleep with congealing cum still sticking to her pretty little body. It was so hot! And she treated it as just good fun! My plan had worked...I had made my own cum-loving little nymphette!
For her ninth birthday, we made a big deal out of it. We got a room at the beach and that night, I got my dick in the tightest pussy you could imagine. And Marika had her first real orgasm. After that, she wanted to do it all the time, and she’d tire me out. Twice a day wasn’t enough…she wanted to cum all the time. I wanted her to be able to take the German Shepherd’s prick, but I was worried his knot might hurt her, so I didn’t suggest it. But we did involve the dog in our sex, particularly with Marika sucking the dog while I did her doggy style.
Under my tutelage and protection we did finally get her able to take the dog. I showed her how to lie on her back under the dog with her ass on a pillow so she could put her hands on the dogs hind legs and push against him he tried to get the knot in. He’s learned not to even try now. Marika does the dog a couple of times a week now, usually after school before I’ve got home. We also involve the dog in some three way action, with her pussy getting fucked by the dog or me while she sucks the other. She also sucks or jacks off the dog whenever he expresses interest…she understands the responsibility of pet ownership.
So now Marika is 11 and sex crazy. I try to keep her satisfied, but the dog has to make up for me when I just can’t do it as much as she needs. But, to me, the important thing is my plan worked: I have a little cumslut like I always wanted. Like with all my sex partners, I only come inside Marika about 20% of the time, preferring instead to shoot in her mouth or on her body. But almost every time I do cum in her, I stick my fingers in her pussy afterward, scoop up some cum, and feed it to her. Or she’ll squat over my stomach and after the cum drips out, lick it up. Or I even have her squat over my hand, then give her a palmful. Always, I have her clean my cock with her mouth. She is such a good sport compared to some other women I’d been with, it is refreshing!
Well, that’s the story. My future plans include sharing her with another guy if I can find one.
>>573784987 Dunno why but that picture genuinely pisses me off. Like I don't fucking understand it's purpose. It's so incredibly stupid and not even in a way as to make it funny. Who was the retarded faggot who's great fucking idea it was to release this piece of backed up cuntwater into the eyes of the Internet anyhow? Of what purpose did they intend with this abomination? Is it supposed to be cute? Is it supposed to be situationally funny? Why should i care that it is naked? Why does it look at me like i should want to laugh at its immature gesture? Seriously fuck this dumbass banana and the 40+ year Olds who are to blame for surfacing this aborted shart of a sad attempt at humor.
Is she being raped here? Also it creeps me out I have the same type of belly with that amount of hair on my legs and that snail trail, and my cock is just like that it's like I'm looking at myself fucking her.
>>573783689 you again with this fucking french onion soup. what the fuck is it with you people anyways? french onion soup sucks the biggest dick of all other soups (with the exception of beef and barley wtf) and has no right to even be considered in the same tier as the heavenly chicken orzo or the scrumtrulescent potato soup.
now, keep in mind, i'm not lumping the pleb category of soup in with the far more grandiose chowders, chilis, and stews. fuck that. while there are some good soups on there, chowders and the like will always reign supreme.
think about it, seriously. would you rather have a bowl of shitty fucking french onion soup or a bowl of some delicious fucking texas chili? or some authentic connecticut mussel chowder? or even a proper beef stew? actually, a faggot like you would probably prefer the french onion soup. i will list the reasons why.
1) it's french. the french are general pansies, so it is no doubt that you would consider their soup to be a far superior soup.
2) it's fucking onion soup. you probably are a kissless fucking faggot virgin and cream your spiderman underoos at the thought of even holding hands with a femanon but i have a news flash for you asshole but no girls like fucking onion breath. seriously. you probably can't even get your dog to lick peanut butter off your pathetic little balls after eating a bowl of that shit.
3) it's a soup and soup is for faggots, which you clearly are.
fuck you and your french onion fucking soup you beta cornhole muncher.
dumping stale pasta cause why not For almost THREE MINUTES /b/'s highest post count was 14999949. All attempts at posting were blocked with a "MySQL connection failure." I can believe a connection failure for 90%, 99%, or 99.9% of the total posters. But for three minutes not ONE post made it to /b/. That's IMPOSSIBLE. By the laws of probability at least a few posters should have been able to successfully post. But no. ALL POSTS were blocked for THREE MINUTES. After this time, we are greeted with a stickied 15000000GET of Spacecataz. The first post in the sticky was made FOUR MINUTES after that sticky was supposed to have been posted. With tens of thousands of /b/tards refreshing madly, is it remotely plausible that it took thousands of pairs of eyes FOUR MINUTES to locate the sticky and type out a reply? Or rather, is it more plausible that that sticky was made during the "dark period" wherein nobody could post? Nobody, that is, except for you know who. The trick to mod fuckery is not to make it obvious, guys. There have been failGETS before, but at least there was a glimmer of hope that they were simply failing users, not mods stroking their bloated egos. Now there can be no doubt. Fuck you, mods. Fuck you.
>>573786358 Man, that's a BEAUTIFUL cock -- and a nice set of hairy, balls making hot loads of HIV semen! I'd love to have you impregnate a some of my CD4 cells. Then I'd have a strain of your descendants living in me always. Very Hot! Happy Fucking, Brother!
>>573786530 God damn you, /b/. I fucking hate you. I've been noticing how you've been fucking with my head, making me see memes everywhere, and now it cost me my job. I used to work at a pizza joint called Papa Gino's, which is a chain here in New England. Today, two guys came in, and they were very obviously a couple. Never in my life have I seen people this blatantly gay. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bleeding heart liberal hippie treehugger commie bastard, and I'm even bisexual myself, but DAMN these two were gay. Everything was going fine, right up until I served them their food. Instead of the usual "enjoy your meal" bit that I usually say, /b/ seized control of my brain. "There you are, guys. Enjoy your AIDS." As soon as that A passed my lips, alarm bells went nuts in my head. But it was too late. I didn't realize what I had just done until I had finished speaking. The two guys just stared at me in shock for a momment, and I went pale. I knew that my days of free pizza and all the Mountain Dew I could drink were over in that one instant. The two dudes go DIPSHIT. My manager comes over, and there's screaming about hate crimes, bigotry, lawsuits, and one of them even stood up and threatened to beat the shit out of me. We got into a fight, and my manager got scared, and said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air. I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.
>>573786689 ANONYMOUS DOES NOT FUCKING RAID. WHEN YOU LEAVE /b/ YOU ARE NO LONGER ANONYMOUS. ALL that raiding does is establish a link with the disgusting identity-saturated world that exists outside of 4chan. A person doing, referencing, or talking about things that belong inside /b/ while outside is just an idiot. We are all fucking idiots here, but because we are ALL anonymous and ALL acting randomly we create something WONDERFUL, something that is not just a bunch of random crap but EVERYTHING, and because we have no identity here each and every one of us owns the ENTIRE sum of our efforts. What you people are doing is NOT anonymous, you are no longer anonymous, you are "anonymous from /b/" you get an identity, you may call yourselves anon BUT YOU ARE NOT ANONYMOUS! YOU DO NOT TAKE /b/ WITH YOU! The environment which transforms random acts into enlightenment is NOT THERE, you do nothing but make yourselves look stupid and POTENTIALLY THREATEN OUR FUTURE. Many of you do not even understand what /b/ is. You have come here too late and where absorbed into this newbie raiding culture. At first it started small, but then my mom got scared. She sent me to live with my auntie and uncle in bel-air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near, its license plate said fresh and it had a dice in the mirror. That is more or less harmless. BUT YOU IDIOTS ARE RUINING IT. We should not have started, WE DID NOT KNOW IT WOULD HAVE TO KEEP GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER. ALREADY THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS ARE BEING FELT! Look around you; it's now around seven or eight and we've dispatched the cabbie; finally, we have a chance to sit on our thrones as princes of bel-air. mock-fighting is now turning into real hostilities. /b/ IS NOT AN INTERNET POWER, we are a STATE OF MIND. There is no /b/ army, there is no /b/-'anything', there is only /b/ and anonymous.
>>573786851 For nerds? Well excuse me... Some people grew up with it and is part of there culture aka asians. Also its a good thing to do when ur bored. + your list of anime is prob less thn 0.001% of whats actually on the market. Not all anime are or children and nerds there are large varietys targeted at different groups. Also teen titans is not really anime tho drawn in a very similar/same style as anime. There are certain rules it does not follow making it a cross breed And yes i am awfully offended at your steriotyping. Thankyou. P.s. and no animes not just about hentai... Add more variety to your gallery...
>>573787045 My girlfriend is cute and smart and she's an anime faggot like me The other night she and I were cuddling in bed and she started humping me and whispering "oniichan oniichan" and that turned me the fuck on so I called her "oneechan" and then she stopped and looked at me and I said "what is it" to which she replied "I always wanted a twin brother so we could fuck all the time" (she's an only child and all I have is a younger brother) so all night long we were humping and calling each other oniichan and oneechan and I came in my underwear and we were pretending we were brother and sister trying to sexually please each other without having sex and it was fucking hot
>>573787198 >>/r/ angry sun pics wtf irony When I was about nine, I had recently gotten a Nintendo Entertainment System from a garage sale down the road, the first gaming system I ever had. One game that I bought was Super Mario Brothers 3, the final chapter of the widely-acclaimed SMB trilogy, which like in the original Super Mario Brothers consisted of Mario/Luigi chasing after Princess Toadstool (whose name has since been bastardized to 'Peach'). Back on topic though; so I had advanced to World 2, "Desert Land" and I was moving along rather smoothly, in the back of my mind knowing that at some point the levels would start to get more difficult; I soon noticed a tile, one unlike the other tiles (Toad houses, numbered tiles, etc). It appeared to be some cross-hybrid of flowing diarrhea and sand, which caught my attention. I navigated my way to the tile, and hit the A button and was warped to what appeared to be a normal level; there even was a happy sunshine in the top left corner! As I side-scrolled my way through the level, the fucking sun decided to go apeshit and sodomize me repeatedly until I finally broke down in tears, throwing my controller at the ground screaming for my mom. That fucking bastard. And no, this is not copy pasta.
>>573787360 As we all know, smoking is really bad for your health. What a lot of people don't realize is that when you smoke, those few minutes of your expected lifespan are literally transformed into the ash you flick away into an ashtray. Ashtrays, each and every one of them, are constructed by a single group running several dozen front companies. Basically, unless you're putting out your smokes beneath your heel or in the ashtray your kid made at camp, you're dispensing your ashen life into this group's eager little recepticle. Their ashtrays absorb the life force from the ashes and sends it to a central holding facility. No one knows for sure what these guys are going to do when they've collected all that life energy, but it's probably going to be huge. Incidentally, there's talk of a rival organization leading the anti-smoking political agenda from behind the scenes. They probably figure removing smoking sections, and thus ashtrays, from restaurants and bars is a good first step towards thwarting whatever it is this ashtray company is trying to do.
>>573786269 Yeah except the french onion soup was never actually french. It doen't even exist in france. Like when people say french fries or french kiss. All bullshit. Your reasons no.2 and no.3 may be valid though.
>>573787520 ATTENTION NEWGROUNDERS, FACT: NEWGROUNDS WAS FUNNY WHEN WE WERE ALL 12 LIVING IN THE SUBURBS LISTENING TO LINKIN PARK WATCHING DRAGONBALL Z DRINKING PEPSI WHILE PLAYING HALO CO-OP ON THE EASIEST SETTING DURING WHICH WE CONSUMED DORITOS AND LOOKED AT PAINTBALL GUNS ON EBAY IN INTERNET EXPLORER CONNECTED THROUGH AOL ON A 56K MODEM BEFORE HOPPING INTO OUR BALDING FATHERS' LATEST MIDLIFE-CRISIS-IMPULSE-SPONSORED JAPANESE-BUILT SUV TO HEAD TO THE MALL AND GET MORE SKATEBOARDING SHOES AND THIRD-RATE IRREGULAR LEVIS AND MOUNTAIN BIKE PARTS BEFORE HEADING HOME, VOTING DEMOCRAT AND MASTURBATING TO THE LATEST SEARS CATALOG WHILE HUFFING PAINT IN YOUR GARAGE BEFORE TALKING TO PEDOPHILES ON AIM PRETENDING TO BE WHATEVER CAMWHORE THEY'RE RANTING ABOUT ON MYSPACE WITH A MATRIX QUOTE/ANIME CHARACTER NAME/TRIPLE SIX-ASTERISK-PARENTHESES-SURROUNDED SCREENNAME BEFORE HEADING TO YOUR SUPPOSED "GOOD SCHOOL" IN THE MORNING TO BUY MORE POT TO SMOKE DURING YOUR COUNTER-STRIKE LAN PARTY WITH JIMMY AND THE REST OF HIS FRIENDS TAKING RITALIN AND ADDERALL AND PROZAC EIGHT TIMES A DAY BEFORE TAKING A CASUAL PASS AT LOCAL, STATE OR NATIONAL GOVERNMENTIAL FIGURES, LEGISLATURE, OR STRUCTURE TO APPEAR EDGY AND INTELLIGENT IN FRONT OF YOUR BUDWEISER-SNEAKING, LIMP-WRISTED, NEAR-TO-COLUMBINE SOCIOPATHIC "DEEP" FRIENDS WHO PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN THEY START LOSING ARGUEMENTS SIX DAYS BEFORE THEIR BOTCHED SUICIDE ATTEMPT SIMPLY BECAUSE SCHOOL TRAMP NUMBER TWELVE WOULDN'T GO UNDER THE BLEACHERS WITH THEM TO LET THEM GET TO SECOND BASE BEFORE THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY.
>>573787950 BAM! TO BEHOLD, A PUBLIC BULLETIN BOARD, BUILT OF BOTH BRILLIANCE AND BARBARITY BY BASTARDS WITH BONERS. THIS BASTION, NO MERE BULWARK OF BOREDOM, IS A BRUTAL BARRAGE OF BLISTERING BULLSHIT, BARELY BENEVOLENT... BUT BEHIND THE BIGOTRY AND BOOBS, BEYOND THE BITTER BROADCASTS OF BRAGGING BUFFOONS: HERE BE THE BODY POLITIC. A BROTHERHOOD OF BLASPHEMY, BLESSED WITH MORE BALLS THAN BRAINS, BATTLING THE BLAND, THE BOGUS, THE BENIGN. BEDLAM? BRING IT ON. BUT I BABBLE... BETTER TO BE BRIEF. YOU MAY CALL ME /B/.
>>573788282 im just copying and pasting copypasta. none of this is mine cont >>573788247 Hey /b/. I don't mean to sound like a racist, But what the hell is up with black youth? I ask this because of a few events that happened today. I was sitting in my English class this afternoon when a knock sounded at the door. Mind you, this took place about a half hour AFTER class started. Lo and Behold the person knocking was the only black student in my class. This is the first time this week that he actually showed up for class, and he sauntered in like he was early for class. He took a seat rather noisily and basically caused the class to pause until he settled down and finished saluting his homies. Class continued as normal until assignments were handed out. That is when he started to speak. My god, /b/, I have never heard a more blabbering, mumbling person speak in my life. I couldn't understand a damn thing coming out of his mouth. The few things I DID understand were him asking the difference between an "illusion" and "allusion", and his apparent hatred for homonyms. After the misunderstanding was cleared he then went on about how 'bling' his shoes were until the class ended. During the class he also claimed that the name '50 Cent' is a metaphor. So I ask this of you /b/, why can't black people learn to speak and/or pay attention? Why do they care more about their 90$ piece of shit 'bling' batman shoes than learning? I live in a town where there are at most 20 black people, and 90% of the ones I've been in the same room with could fit right in with the racial stereotype.
>>573788523 BE IT BREAKFAST, BRUNCH OR BED AND BE YOU A BAREFOOT BURGLAR, BRITISH BANKER OR BEDFAST BOOKMAKER A BASIC BESTIAL BLESSING IS THE BURGER! A BILLION BURGER BANQUET BEQUETH UPON ME FROM A BURGER BASTION OF BEDLAM BARELY BEGINS TO BOIL MY BULKY BURGER BURDEN. YET I MUST BARE BULBOUS BEGGERS BESEECHING BURGERS TO BUILD UPON THEIR BIG BAGGAGE WHILE BREEDING BARBARICALLY. BUT BEFORE THE BURGER BANQUET A BETTER BEGINNING IS OBLIGED. YOU MAY CALL ME BURGER KING.
>>573788735 Last night my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on. There's not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants, and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minuets later she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the simpsons. I don't really don't know what else to say.
>>573788948 [b] bold example [u] underline example [i] italic example [o] overline example [s] strikethrough example [m] courier text example [code] preserves syntax for code and colors text For green text in code put a word in quotes "example" for red put a # before the word #example [spoiler] for spoilers example
>>573789232 There was an ethernet cryptolock on the http header, but I bypassed it with a brute force DDoS (fairly straightforward). I'm into the mainframe now and am examining the individual bytes of her cyberstream. Will reverse engineer the password encryption and rebuild the passkey from that. Takes time, but you know how these things go.
>>573776573 >Wakes up at 6am >browsing 4chan, all i see is fur threads, traps threads, YLYL threads with that cancerous banana >fuckit.png >Preparing breakfast whem mom comes in >"anon remember it's that special day in your school, and you're late" >fuck, i don't remember what was it, but better rush >totally forgot to brush my teeth or to take a shower
I'm a lazy fag and I don't take showers at weekend, so the last one was at friday
>Goes out ASAP to catch the bus for school >Fuck, 5 mins late, I'll need to run if i want to make it in time >Sweating like a landwhale after a hour of exercise I made it to the school, before the teacher >Sits in my place in the classroom stinking like a skunk bathed in shit that was a whole day in front of the sun for a whole week >holy shit this odor can protects you even from evil spirits >Teacher enters to the classroom >"Guys I hope you didn't forgot this special day" >mfw I remember now what day It is >mfw It's penis inspection day
Yes, I am. I'm a human being who happens to have dark skin. I hate that that is all it takes to destroy my life, my skin color. I hate that I can't enjoy things like the rest of you guys. I can't get the women I want because they all hate me and make fun of me. I can't get good friends and I had to struggle to get respect in my place of employment. People hated me and my co-workers once all cummed in my coffee and they said to me "now you have some intelligent genes in you". I cried and I went home and poured bleach on myself to try to whiten my skin. I hate this skin. It's a curse. It's hell on earth. I'm a good person but my mind is not healthy because I hate what I see in the mirror. I wish I were white. I sometimes dream about it, just going up to any girl and having her want to talk with me instead of giving me a fake smile and walking away. I am cursed. I should just kill myself soon.
>>573790272 I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you
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