Ask a guy who cremates people for a living anything.

Do you work at Auschwitz?

>>571349301
kek, no

>>571349232
Are people cremated with some sort of box or do you need to pull them out and toss them in? What about the clothes they are in?

>>571349232
are you hot

>>571349378
How many Jews have you burnt this week?

>>571349456
The facility I work at, the bodies are received and stored in cardboard boxes. They are also cremated in the same boxes. As far as clothing, some are delivered nude, but depending on family and/or next of kin, they are dressed to desire and sometimes with personal belongings

So what happens to the bones?

>>571349232
Are you a Nazi?

How bad is the smell?

>>571349558
Very hot

>>571349647
Jews typically are buried, but sometimes even jews are cremated. Im no Hitler by any means though, maybe 5

have you had any customers regret there decision amd request a refund?

Do you cook your food in the same oven?

>>571349232
Do you cremate any jews with their little head caps on?

>>571349742
what's the price to get burned to ashes?

Have you ever had a cadaver wake up on you? Have you ever burned them anyway?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI4MttJW5B4

>>571349232
How do you collect the ashes/bones after?

Would it be safe to assume the ashes the family received could include bits of strangers all mixed in?

>>571349232
Do you have any hot nude pics of any of these bodies?

Ever had sexual relations with any of them?

>>571349772
They burn

How did you get the job?

>>571349232
ever find any jewellery in the ashes?

>>571350207
Second part b of this question OP

have you ever inhaled some of the ashes on accident and then became the person you just cremated? that would be awesome

>>571350269
Only on /b/

Never change, Anon.

>>571349772
Bones under the immense heat become very brittle and often break into small pieces, which are combined with the ashes. Some larger pieces go into an electric grinder before being combined with the ashes.

>>571349807
No, only part German

>>571349902
The smell is not too bad, with proper ventilation but its not for everyone. The cooler smells worse at times. Contains usually around 20 cadavers

>>571349979
I do not deal too much with the financial end, but some families regret coming in to witness a cremation of loved ones. Its not a spectator friendly event.

>>571350010
No, The office has its own kitchen with a proper microwave

>>571350014
I have, but it was placed on the cadavers chest by family members at the time of cremation.

>>571350064
Typically in the neighborhood of $500-600 USD

Ever just snag peoples jewellery?

Fuck a corpse or pop a finger in a pussy?

have you ever did some under the table work if you know what i mean .

do you ever like masturbate over a dead corpse and then realize its not dead but really alive and looks really frightened and disgusted so you beat it to death and starts to burn it and then realize its still screaming and you dont know what the fuck to do so you leave work early and when you return the next morning there is a picture of her on your desk?

>>571349232
What's the hottest chick you've seen

>In your line of work I bet you've seen some real hotties

How many corpses have you fucked?

>>571349232
How long does a typical cremation take?

Are you paid hourly, salaried, or per body?

Have you ever seen the process from start to finish? And if so what's it like?

>>571350576
That's stupid as fuck I'll burn my loved ones in the backyard for that price

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>>571349232
What kind of cream do you use?

>>571350136
lol, no. I have heard of this happening. but luckily never to me. Our cadavers usually spend some time in the cooler before there is space in the incinerator.

>>571350207
There is a brush tool that we use, and a small chute close to the opening of the incinerator where the ashes are swept into. There is a small box at the bottom of the chute, that catches the ashes and removed and filed after.
There is a small possibility that ashes contains at least a little from a previous cremation on busy days

>>571350269
No pics, and never had a sexual experience with any cadavers. But im not going to lie, Beautiful women do die, and we do cremate them.

Are feminists harder to burn because of their fiery temper?

>>571351148
>No pics
Well there goes the fun

>>571350453
That's how became a /b/ro

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>>571351129
>>571350709
>>571351157

you fucking niggers

>>571351157
fucking topkek

Have you witnessed anything which would prevent you from wanting to be cremated, or lead you to advise others not to be?

Ask a guy who cremates living people for a anything.

>>571350324
Friend of the family had been in the business for many years, and mentioned an opening, I tried the position and just began full time work shortly after.

>>571350370
Its common for families to provide jewelry to be cremated with them, but not typically kept with them in the containers they end up in. We dont like gold because it melts and creates more work on busy days.

>>571350421
was answered, But yes, it is possible to have slight mixing with other cadavers, but not much

>>571350453
Sounds like a good idea for a movie?

>>571350526
kek'd

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>>571351520
You fuckface, i didn't even realise the words had been changed at first

>>571349232
Have you ever watched the show Six Feet Under?

HAVE YOU EVER BURNED A BODY FOR A MEXICAN CARTEL OR JUST RANDOM SERIAL KILLERS
would love too know.
how much did you charge
was it easy not to get caught ?

>>571349232
ever molested a dead body?

Do you keep any offcuts of hair? Put it on eBay?

>>571349232
Is that all that your job is? How can I get into it?

>>571351661
Who's your favorite musical artist?

>>571350597
No sir, Its not as attractive as people may think, Sometimes the face may be attractive, because of funeral arrangements, but the rest of the body isnt much to look at after a certain point. I knew of a delivery driver that was fired after photographing and touching them though...

>>571350608
No, everything is closely documented and watched over, although I have done small jobs for pet owners that cant afford vet cremation services. I have also been approached by some sketchy people for this very request, but value my income, and not taking that risk. lol

>>571350624
Once. Not really. Sounded legit though.

>>571350709
There was a girl that came in a few weeks ago, that was pretty attractive, Easily a 10/10, but was injured in a car accident. Her body was intact but was decapitated from the accident.

>>571350734
At this time, 0.

>>571350904
Cremation time depends on the size of the cadaver, Normal weight takes aroun 3-4 hours.
I am paid hourly, $22/hour plus guaranteed overtime.

>>571352435
damn it OP

what did the sketchy people ask you ?
did yo get they're number ?
did they look like pyschopaths

>>571352435
How do you get into this line of work? Seems like a decent career.

>>571352435
>injured in a car accident
>decapitated

sensiblechuckle.gif

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>>571349232

>>571349232
age?
sex?
ethnicity?

>>571352879
pls awnser

pls

>>571352435
My mum got cremated. What do you do with the stuff the relatives put next to the corpse? Do you burn it generally or do you throw it away? Not talking about jewellery.

>>571353353
Read the thread bitch

If paid enough would you let someone kill themselves by cremation

>>571350919
Yes, They arrive in a cardboard box, stored in a cooler room until the paperwork clears, then they are pushed in to the incinerator after the proper heat is reached. The cardboard hides most of the gruesome stuff, but its still pretty interesting to see. It just inflames and becomes red hot before collapsing in itself.

>>571350964
Its a deal in caparison to what a burial cost.

>>571351129
Astroglide? jk

>>571351369
Lol, its something that is documented pretty well, a general google search will provide what your looking for

>>571351969
No

>>571352115
Everything is pretty well watched, Cameras are everywhere, it has become an issue that the field works hard to avoid. Not as easy as it sounds.

>>571352274
no, although hot chicks also die, But no, never that

>>571352370
No, but heard of it before

>>571352434
Too many to choose one. I listen to every genre.

>>571349232
How did you get started? I always wanted to work as a mortician

Ever have a training montage and beat the shit out of it like rocky and that hunk of meat?

>>571349232

Did you ever hear a weird sound from the body in the oven, like a guy yelling "FUCK FUCK GET ME OUT OF HERE" and so on?

>>571352861
They were some rednecky drug people. Looked like some bugged out meth heads that said it was a family member, and they couldnt afford a proper booking with us, I had to turn it down. Beleive it or not, authorities plan sting operations to find this sort of thing.

>>571352879
Friends of the family. Its a pretty relaxing job once you get used to it.

>>571353214
22, white male

>>571353353
Above

>>571353480
If its something like clothing, the ashes are collected together, unfortunately things that dont burn like metals and such are thrown away, or offered a different containment option for the family. A container that may mount the object inside the box

Strangest thing you've ever seen?

Stories? pls tell anon.

>>571353657
how big is the cardboard box? and how does cardboard support a human body's weight and height?

have you ever curved a bullet into one of the bodies for practice?

>>571349232
how long have you been doing your job?

>>571349232
How much do you charge to make someone "disappear" no questions asked?

Have you ever tried to cook food in one of the chambers?

>>571354359
>not knowing about the power of carboards

Cardboard can support a human body and more. I used to work on a warehouse and sometimes we'd get half-a-ton pallets in cardboard supports. They were shitty, you can't store them and then get ruined by a little of water

Anyway OP, do you have a gf?

What is the recommended temperature for the Jews?

>>571353518
Would have to be a ridiculous amount of money that would allow me live off grid for the rest of my life, and not work.

>>571353662
Answered a few times, family friends have been in business for a long time, its a job that helps knowing the right people to get into

>>571354042
Lol not yet

>>571354158
No, the weirdest sounds come from implants and pace makers. They explode during cremation

When you get the bodies in, do they suffer from rigormortis?

Had you ever have a boner watching a dead body?

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>>571354674
>>571354269
OP answer this im curious too!

>>571349232
Do people get cut on your edges?

Did Hitler do anything wrong?

i've heard of stories of some bodies kinda sitting up from the intense heat / pressureq is this true?

>>571355396
get caught?

>>571354269
The strangest work order I ever had, was a man who donated his body to science research. His family still wanted ashes. So they sent in a portion of his arm to cremate, from about just below the shoulder.

>>571354359
Its about 7 feet long and 2 feet wide, which fits most people. There are metal shelving in the cooler that they are stored on, and there is a metal gurney that helps move them from cooler to incinerator.

>>571354378
No, but have found bullet fragments that later had to be given to police for evidence in certain cases. I also found a tip from a knife after the cremation.

>>571354386
About 3 years now

>>571354458
Enough for me to disappear as well

>>571354461
No, not yet. Pizza anyone?

>>571354654
I do. She hates my line of work and does not care to hear details like my /b/rothers do.

>>571354669
jews are same temp as everyone else, approx 1600 deg. f.

>>571355176
Kek

Does it ever smell like burnt toast inside? I live in Seattle and we could always smell a burnt toast smell near a crematorium...we were convinced it was the smell of burning bodies.

>>571349232
How long does a body take to burn on average?

How long did it take you to become desensitized to burning human bodies OP? Have you ever had a cadaver that shook you up a little?

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OP do you feel regret/misery/grief from doing your job at certain times?

Is it true the males usually have erections?

Any paranormal experiences?

Anything follow you home or around your personal life?

>>571354741
Most of them do, but they are already flat treated. Broken bones to make them lie flat.

>>571354926
The thoughts are sometimes there, not everyone dies ugly, But the thought of my life after prevents anything from happening.

>>571355396
Free Cremation? nothing wrong with that right?

>>571355590
Some movement occurs, but there is no window on my incinerator to watch. The heat is more intense with the door closed. So the ones That i have watched with an open door react differently

have you ever had a body sit up in the fire and chant a Latin ritual the disappear into the pits of hell?

>>571349232
how fast can you burn a body? acording to the jews, nazis completely burn 48 corpeses every 5 minutes

>>571349232
How do you know when the niggers are "done"???? I mean they're already black before you even start!!!

>>571356228

How long do you see yourself keeping this job?
What advancement opportunities are there for someone in your line of work?

>>571355765
Yeah, similar, but that has to do with the filtration systems before the air is release. Unfortunately for us, its much worse inside.

>>571355947
A body of average size, about 3-4 hours at 1600 degrees

>>571356009
Took a few months. I had some nightmares at first. The ones that shake me up are generally children. It never gets easier. Or when its someone you know.

>>571356139
Not really, its a service that will be needed with or without me. just sad to see how some people leave the earth

>>571356209
Some males have erections, depending on cause of death.
No paranormal experiences, Only because i dont believe in that, but noises have some other explanation. Idk maybe its denial
Only thing that follows me home is the odor

>>571356950
Do people smell delicious when you cook them?

>>571356304
Once

>>571356394
Mass burning i dont know about. Its takes about 3 hours at 1600 degress for one proper cremation

>>571356751
ash is grey sir. They take just as long as whites. But we have a colored only side..... jk

>>571356876
I may stay here, great retirement program, so i may end up here permanatley unless offered something better

>>571357163
Not into cannibalism, but some people not be able to tell the difference between a corpse and a pot roast?

>>571357317
>But we have a colored only side....

kekekekekkekke

> I may end up here

now wouldn't that be ironic?

have you ever laughed maniacally as you slid a body into the oven?

What's the strangest item a Person was cremated with?

>>571357519
lulz

>>571357554
Maybe, but not at the actual cremation. My co workers are some of the funniest people I have ever had the pleasure of working with, which is a must in this field

Are there any health risks associated with what you do?

Do you have to wear special equipment?

What do people outside of work say you smell like?

>>571355726

It's kinda funny how you get daily carry threads with faggots saying they always carry a lock knife. The guys that end up in your ovens with blades broken off in their chests are often people like these that don't realise having a knife doesnt = a fight that's as good as won, it means that if the guy's stronger he's going to use it to kill you when you might have just got your ass beat if you didnt have it.

>>571349232
How'd you get the job? Did you need any kind of degree or experience?

>>571350576
>The smell is not too bad, with proper ventilation but its not for everyone. The cooler smells worse at times. Contains usually around 20 cadavers

What kind of old ass retort do you have?
The process of getting a new one in NJ is insane from what I have heard, EPA and everything, took years for the place near us, filters and everything for outside air. Nice to know that they care about mercury from our fillings when we are burned but not the shit being in our mouth from dentists in the first place.

>I do not deal too much with the financial end, but some families regret coming in to witness a cremation of loved ones. Its not a spectator friendly event.

I have had to grab hair for a family when I was helping my dad at his funeral home from an auto accident victim, couldn't find hair from the "head" that wasn't covered in blood. I guess maybe I got used to corpses but seeing them open the retort and a glowing in spots ember like partial skull and bones is some freaky shit

OP do you smoke weed or do any type of drugs?

>>571356950

Can you isolate any few single instances where you were more shook up that normal?

More details on the people you know? Also how do you even see them? I thought they were in the boxes from start to finish and they'd be ID'd by paper

>>571357723
I dont think it was intentional, but a young women was creamated with what looked like an insert-able vibrator. Which wasnt discovered until afterwards

>>571357837
There are optional gas mask that we wear while the incinerator is open, and a medical mask while dusting after. People often say i small like burnt meat

>>571357973
Just on the job training and sensitivity classes

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>>571357863
I carry a fixed blade and a .45 everyday. Any fool knows your best tool for defense is chevrolegs my friend. I'd rather be a coward that ran than OP's 3 Oclock lol.

>>571357973
He has seriously answered that question like 3 fucking times, read the thread niggers.

>>571358348
What were the sensitivity classes like?

Okay OP, story time. What is the most messed up thing you have ever seen?

>>571358548
>reading 108 replies of "How many jews have you burned" as a precursor to asking my question

Yeah, no.

>>571358348
Is it a job you'd recommend or would you recommend people stay away from it?

>>571358603
they have to know how sensitive to heat you are so you can stand int eh oven to make sure the bodies burn properly

>>571354359
how big is the cardboard box? and how does cardboard support a human body's weight and height?
>>571354654

Not OP but >>571357993
The cardboard sometimes has a bit of wood (or at least we use ones that do) running down lengthwise down the middle

>>571358012
I smoke weed on occasion, never while working or id probly freak the fuck out

>>571358224
The person i knew was an old coworker. Wasnt easy to do.
They are identified both numerically on the box and by name with toe tags. We have to check and make they all match up before cremation
>>571358224


>>571358548
I also carry a firearm, I carry a glock 26 9mm

>>571358603
Basically just how to talk to the family, and which terms to use and not to use. Families dont like hearing corpse or cadaver. We refer to them as remains to the family, things like that.

>>571350526
>Only on /b/
Where on /b/ are they?! I want them!

>>571358796
Ctrl+f 'how + job'

>so hard

>>571359012
I carry the 36 which is the same thing in .45. Sometimes I carry the 21 but it is kinda a pain in the ass in summer clothes.

>>571359012
So family is allowed to watch the process upon request?

>>571358763
Some of the sickest shit comes in for cremation. Think of all the accidents that require closed casket 10x. Most people involved in horrific deaths are cremated. Ive seen it all, Decapitations both clean cuts and ripped. All sorts of dis memberments, Probly the most memerable and cringe worthy to /b/ was when a man came in with no penis. it was next to him to be cremated with him, His wife killed him and cut off his dick for cheating.

Was not a pleasant day.

>>571359118
Newfag

>>571358796
Depends on the person. Some people have no problem with it, and some people dont last 10 minutes inside the cooler.

ever cried on the job op?

>>571359413
Damn son. What city/state are you from?

>>571359595
Still here OP ?

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>>571359413
Do you ever get bloaters?

I mean logically I cannot see how a cardboard box could hold something like pic related?

How is that handled?

I have also seen fat dead people where the rupture after baking for a few days, what happens then?

even had a body fall off the cart and then have a "comedy" movie moment where you're fumbling and breaking shit trying to get it back on?

>>571360054
Bring out yer dead!

I didn't read the thread so I don't know if someone asked this already.

What do you think of the holohoax ?

>>571359012
What other words do you replace or avoid when talking to families?
Also, props to OP for one of the few interesting threads in a sea of reposts.

What happens to the fat of people who are morbidly obese? Does it melt and run outta the incinerator?

Is there a little window in your oven that you can stare hypnotically through as you watch someone's person gradually breaking down before your eyes?

What do skulls go like when they burn?

>>571359370
Noice

Yes families can invite up to 6 people to watch or witness cremation. Its not a fun day for us. Things have to be done differently to protect company reputation

>>571359695
I wont lie, Its come pretty close. Cremating young children never gets easier. Has to be the closest Ive come to crying. Try not to become emotionally involved, But for the few hours it takes, you cant help but read google and see what happened to them....
Sad shit this world here

>>571359746
I live/work in miami

>>571359984
Rarely, They usually dried by the time they arrive and are easier to manage though.

>>571360054
Once during training, A box fell
in Miami

Have you ever gotten someone too fat or tall to fit in your ovens? If so, what do you do?

Very interesting stuff OP. Thanks for a good read.

>>571360201
Interested in this, would it even be practical to burn that many people as you do? You said that an average nigger takes 3-4 hours to burn. That means for each oven you could do about 7 dudes a day. Let's say 10 because they were emaciated.

>>571360409
burn them piece by piece

dear god OP please tell me i'm wrong (tell me i'm right)

>>571360398
>done differently to protect company reputation
please elaborate?

I am guessing you have to air on the side of sensitivity rather than efficiency?

>>571359413
Nigga, are you gonna tell me you've never seems shadow people? Not hat man? No spider-bro?

No offense /b/ro but you're a boring motherfucker. We only care because of the morbidity of your line of work. Tell stories about fucked up shit or go read Pride and Prejudice again

How often, if at all, does this job give you the fear or a bleak outlook on mortality? Do you find you suffer from anxiety more since you started working there?

The overwhelming majority (myself included) have this belief that they wont die. Not necessarily in the long run, but rather that they'll never be killed in a situation where they could do something to avert it, or get blindsided by death. They think that for them to die in an accident they'll have to seriously make a major mistake and they probably wont ever get shot or stabbed. They think that for them it'll be old age or something like cancer if they're super unlucky.

So after dealing with hundreds of people who never saw it coming, do you ever find yourself with nerves that death's always around like the sword of damocles? Even reading shit like this makes me feel this way.

You must

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Is this you?

>>571349232
How much for you to knock me out and cremate me alive? I'm ready to go

At cremations I've been to (at a basic pleb place, nothing posh) there was always this coffin going along a conveyor belt into the machine. Was this likely a prop?

>>571360303
Say Remains instead of Body, Corpse, cadaver...
Dont mention to much details of the process, treat with respect, offer accommodations, and how to prepare the items they provide for remembrance, its all simple things

>>571360347
On rare occasions, the M.E. has to prepare them in sections so they can fit. One man back a few years ago, took up 3 boxes, and took a much longer time.

>>571360359
There is no window in the newer incinerators. But i have seen inside with the door open. The skin melts off the skulls and the skulls glow abit before they break down, Most of the time they combust after the skin is gone and stay on fire until the end

>>571360927
Would you like him to lie about some of this stuff so it's more exciting for you faggot?

>>571360880

He said he works cremation, not pops 800mg of DPH

>>571360409
>>571360693
Your right, i had one case where one man was cut and used 3 boxes

>>571360880
Have seen a shadow 'man' during SP but not the other two. The phenomena is most likely a common trait we all share in the brain. That is why multiple people experience it exclusively from one another.

>>571360927
Or you are just a faggot.

>>571361120
Watch faces of death if you want to see the real deal anon.

Why the fuck would someone burn a 5000 dollar coffin.

If they were they dumb they would pay for the burial.

>>571361212
Could you answer about the holohoax ?

(plox)

>>571361212
I bet the hair and clothes whiz off in an instant in there. Must be weird to look at.

>>571360398
Are you Dexter?

>>571359984
Not OP but i work at a university and part of my job is delivering/getting rid of bodies for the med students. Never had a "bloater" but i've had a few leaks. When they leave they are put in bags with some other preservative shit or something and then the cardboard boxes, and i've had bags tear from the weight while i'm moving them. Shit's nasty.

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>>571361093
Did you start having a hankering for live human brains?

My town's crematorium caught fire when the fat from a really obese person also set the ventilation system on fire somehow.

>>571361386
GODDAMNIT
(sounds fun :D)

>>571361093
>>571361450
damnit I love that fucking movie, best zombie movie of the 80's.

>>571361539
Sad, but so fucking funny

>>571349232
Correction, How often does it happen that families receives the wrong ashes?

>>571361120

You sound like a Brit. In the UK we dont do the cardboard boxes but cheap balsawood coffins with metal-looking handles that arent really metal.

I think the burnable coffins are also optional though, and you can just sort of hire a coffin for the funeral and get burned bareback.

>>571349232
Where do the gold teeth fillings go?

>>571361667
fat people: causing problems for society even when they're dead

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>>571361439
I really would not like to deal with that in particular. Other wise I think i could deal. I used to bury farm animals, and it wasn't that bad except when they twitch around. The vet would come and kill them right there. I suppose it would be harder to deal with people though. We would dig the hole and hook them by the feet and drag them in. One time it was a fat horse and we pulled its leg out of the docket because it was so fat. Luckily we strapped the other side and those legs held.

>>571361539
That's kinda funny

>>571361764
>get burned bareback.
kek

>>571361764
Yes it's a small crematorium off a roundabout outside Pontypool. So my relatives were probably actually in the things?

>>571360880

fellow crematory worker/grave digger here never seen anything ghost related ever and ive been lookin for years

>>571349232
What's it taste like?

>>571349232
how do you avoid getting caught

i'm really disappointed at the lack of fire jokes in this thread

>>571360848
>I am guessing you have to air on the side of sensitivity rather than efficiency?

Exactly

>>571360927
Its a pretty boring job, other then the occasional implant explosion, pace maker poppers, theres not much other then the gore to touch on

>>571360953
100% My outlook on life has changed since i started here. I realized how easy it is to die and how common it really is. There are several corpses that come in and cause of death isnt clear, could be a number of things. Quite eye opening

>>571361112
lolz we can work something out anon

>>571361120
Some people can afford that, to be cremated in a real casket, There is a such thing as a cremation casket which is made of a lighter easier to burn material that resembles a casket, still more costly then a cardboard box, but easier for the the witnesses to see. We do not provide this option however

>>571349232
h-hitler?

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>>571360596
It seems that jews used to burn a lot faster.

"the furnaces would consume the bodies in anywhere from half an hour to 45 minutes maximum."

German brick oven made in 1942 > today high tech oven.

do you want to set the world on fire OP?
or just start a flame in my heart?

>>571350576
whats your annual salary

>>571361857
You get used to it. Grew up on a farm too so pretty used to dead things. Just took a while to get used to it being people. Never had to deal with any kids, but a lot of people in their 20's-30's and that kinda makes you think. It's weirder moving body parts than it is bodies though.

Is there any particular case that made you feel OP?

Fellow crematory operator and grave digger here, i was prosessing the cremains once and the machine jams up. open it up and start pulling out scalpels, forceps, needles. Corner did autopsy and when he was done just dumped his med tray in the guys chest and sewed him up.

The cremation process in Auschwitz-Birkenau

In Auschwitz the authorities were not burdened by respect for the dead or any need to consider civilian rules or laws regarding cremation.
Multiple bodies were cremated together. The muffles (the actual openings in the oven; there were 52 in total in Auschwitz) were filled with as many bodies as could be fit into them.
The men who worked in the Sonderkommandos quickly learned how to combine the bodies of fat people, skeletal 'Muselmänner' and children to achieve maximum results (that is, more bodies could be burned in less time).
Once the first bodies started to burn they just kept putting more bodies in to keep the fires hot. The result was continuous operation at very high efficiency in which very little fuel was needed to keep the process going for hours or days.

have you thought about how your are going to go? Will you have yourself burned or buried

>>571361991

Yeah. In the one's I've been to they've went down a little coffin elevator, but it just depends on wether the actual crematorium is in the basement or the room next door. It just goes through into the cremation room and the oompa loompas chuck it in the oven. As far as I'm aware they do it there and then since if the funeral's happening they're probably greenlit for a cremation.

I think because of the lower population here and because we dont really go in for the open casket thing and convoluted embalming process we just cremate per actual funeral. If I'm not mistaken OP will be operating from a sort of dedicated crematorium with a morgue so people will have their funerals, go to his place, then wait in line in the fridge til it's their turn coz they'll be burning shitloads per day to keep up.

My grandma made is scoop up handfuls of my grandpa' sashes to spread. With our bare hands. How weird is that?

>>571362329
Not even fucking around. Just make me disappear.

I can down some alcohol, I'm sure you have access to something that will put me to sleep before you slide me in the oven...

Truth: I worked the grounds at a giant cemetery here...

>>571363349
You should have snorted some of your grandpa's ashes.

>>571362329
>How common it really is.

Well, duh.

everybody die.

>>571363786
>>571363349
Or mix them up with milk a la south park

>>571362576

Nowadays we burn the bones until they're glowing masses of calcium phosphate so they're not even organic anymore they're just sterile compounds.

You can half-ass it since the body will be skeletized in like half an hour but you're gonna be left with burnt bones that are still technically human remains and therefore biohazardous. I dont think the nazis wanted to make sure ashes were sterile before delivering them back to their loved ones.

>>571361393
Sounds like a cremationist convention, which exists.

>>571361412
Yeh, but that mostly is concealed by the cardboard box, which goes up in flames pretty fast as well

>>571361416
Its happened, but not with my company. we have a whole room filled with file cabinets that are filled with boxes of ashes, once the family makes arrangements, they are picked up and scanned to verify the id

>>571361432
i wish

>>571361439
Its similar for the most part, the bags are for corpses that were mangled in car wrecks etc. they just prevents the cardboard box from being softened

>>571361450
i dont find zombie movies as entertaining as i once have. More of a nightmare lol

>>571361539
Ive heard of it i think, there are procedures for the M.E. to prepare for cremation, maybe thats why? lol

>>571361748
Not any that i was responsible for, but once at our office

>>571361764
Not a brit, but am aware of this

>>571361813
Often times are removed, but right in the box with the ashes. On occasion some older corpses have metal spines, metal bracing from medical procedures, which are thrown away and collected by a scrap metal person later

>>571361827
i kek'd

>>571362075
Not me personally i dont believe in that sort of thing anymore, but guys ive worked with have claimed many stories about being in the cooler at night and hearing boxes move

>>571362084
Pot Roast

>>571362102
Doing what?

>>571362576

Those ovens were never turned off and were run with no regulations or care for the remains. today you have to allow the machine to cool a bit before you sweep out the remains.

>>571363579

Why would you want to be knocked out and incinerated? Why not just an hero like the rest of us?

>>571363845

I think what I was meaning by my question and OPs answer is that while everyone dies, nobody expects to die in retarded ways, which incidentally is the most common cause of death. Stupid shit you dont see coming, because if you did guess what? They wouldnt kill you

>>571364048
What is Miami like?

how do you deal with metal plating if the cadaver has plate in there skull or something of the like?

>>571364575
> which incidentally is the most common cause of death.

Uh, no

Number of deaths for leading causes of death
Heart disease: 596,577
Cancer: 576,691
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 142,943
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 128,932
Accidents (unintentional injuries): 126,438 <-------------------------
Alzheimer's disease: 84,974
Diabetes: 73,831
Influenza and Pneumonia: 53,826
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 45,591
Intentional self-harm (suicide): 39,518

>>571362494
hai

>>571362576
They werent doing it respectfully, To ensure a complete burn and to collect remains takes 3 hours lol

>>571362743
Roughly $80k or more

>>571362872
anything involving children is rough /b/ro

>>571363156
I will be cremated for sure, I dont want to be a financial burden on anyone, and cremation is the cheapest disposal

>>571364007
best answer. Sterile is important when cause of death is unknown, Most times its not on the paperwork

>>571362576
Interesting

>>571362776
I didn't particularly enjoy it but it is just something you have to do. It was really weird at first but then you just realize that death is a part of life. I suppose hat is what would happen to your outlook with people if it was what you had to deal with everyday.

>>571350964
these prices are to die for

>>571364770
It can be nice, but locals hate it. Alot of work in my field. Alot of natural and un natural death

>>571364826
The metal is thrown in a bucket, and a scrap metal collector picks it up every friday

>>571364048

About the boxes moving, this does have an explanation.

I knew one forensic pathologist and a few porters at morgues and generally the first thing that happens during the decomposition process is rampancy of the gut flora causing abdominal bloating. Gas movement and escape through the mouth can cause corpses to partially sit up and groan. Happens all the time pre-autopsy like when morgues recieve bodies but getting it as far along as your end would mean special circumstances like a body reaching you quickly, without autopsy, and not enough time in cold storage for that kind of decomposition to happen

>>571365094
everyones dying to get cremated these days

>>571365381
keked

>>571363786
Why not entertain my original offer instead of asking stupid questions?

>>571365348
Im not completely familiar with these explanations, but i know they exist. Which I why I refuse to believe it has anything to do with paranormal activity

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>>571365094
>>571365381
you two burn me up. I fuckin lol'd.

Great thread OP! Enjoyed the read

>>571364860

>being enough of a faggot to wiki it to win on 4chan

Most of these are affecting old people, so accidents are still extremely high given the age group they affect, the same age group who arent expecting death, that was my point.

>>571356228

Where can I find out more about this 'flat treatment'? It sounds badass.

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For everyone interested in the boxes we use, i found this image, which is exactly the boxes we use

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>>571364007
It's some brick oven, not an hight tech 400 000$ oven. The german didn't let bones or enough ashes (few millions body).

So 30/45 min to turn people into (imaginary) ashes.

Also, I'm saying that for the police:
If you are monitoring this thread, I BELIEVE IN THE HOLY HOLOCAUST AND Saint Anne FRANK.

>>571366215
Its not a special practice really, its just a term we coined at work. When someone dies in a sit down position and need to be layed on a gurney for transport. They break the bones so they can be position properly

>>571349232
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hXFvlTDk9I

>>571366343
Same box used to transport HR via airplane

>>571366657
Its a common cadaver box. Alot of fields use them, but sometimes we get stuck transferring corpses over to them

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forgive the google search but these are what it looks like mid cremation

So do you ever eat BBQ? Or has the smell of burning people ruined that for you?

Do you have a good salary?

>>571349232
Can you smell it from outside?

>>571367161
Nothing can ruin BBQ

>>571367107
>inb4 terminator

>>571366491

I dont understand what the point is you're trying to make. That the Nazis were using magic?

The heat inside the ovens of them and now will have been comparable, the only difference is that the old ones required a longer start up, more difficult maintainence, were not sealed (like OP said when you dont know the cause of death you dont want contaminants getting out of the oven that easily). Also the modern ovens have electrical controls. The advancement in the new ones is mainly on ease of use, keeping to regulations, and safety. They work almost exactly the same.

I mean clearly you're some holocaust conspiracy theorist of some kind so I dont know why I'm humoring you but for more information just consult google like everyone else, I shouldnt have to be telling you this shit

>>571367184
paid $22 hourly

>>571367242
There are filter that alter the smell released to outside, still bad but no where near what inside smells like

>>571349232
I was a gravedigger. OP is legit.

theoretically speaking, if a live person jumps into the chamber, how long does it take to lose consciousness and die?

What sorta clothing do you have to wear?

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>>571367523

Look familiar OP?

You're a doctor, right? How the fuck do I get this pickle out of my ass? Dr.Burnemup

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>>571367523
Have you ever lied down inside the oven to see if you dare?

>>571367793
nothing special, something presentable to deal with families, something safe enough to operate machine safely

>>571367702
I would not want to find out, my guess, less then a minute for sure

>>571368163
what car do you drive?

>>571367891
Looks like a much older machine. Thought the inside is lined with similar stones. And the box is pretty similar

>>571365875
same here
thanks op

>>571367486
>That the Nazis were using magic?

Those 6 million people never were turned to ashes. All those stories are fake shit.

When you say that you are working in a crematorium, every people make the connection with "nazi" germany. But you aren't curious about what really happened.

How could one go about getting a job as a cremator or gravedigger?

What shoes do you wear while working?

The idea of stepping all in someones ashes while wearing white socks really turns me on - do you get to wear white socks while working and would you ever consider doing this?

>>571368146
Please answer this OP.

What an interesting place to contemplate death.

>>571368146
Ive been inside only when fully cooled for maintenance

>>571368551
Most days I take my motorcycle, CBR1000r, but rainy days I drive my Dodge Charger

>>571361598
Seconded. First of the running zombie films.

>>571368163
can you give a more precise time frame? Like all senses would have to be gone in 15 seconds in that heat, no?

>>571368963
that's pretty cool. I've got a Ninja ZX6R.

Does the car catch any of the smell when you use it?

How hard is it for an non-family member to get a job at a family run funeral home?

Oh yah, has anyone tried burning a live creature and observed its progression?

>>571368963
Do you collect the gold from their gold teeth?

>>571368738
Simply apply. I knew people in the business so it was easier for me

>>571368757
I wear my steel toes
But on occasion that we have to enter the machine, We have white jumpers and white booties that cover our shoes lol

>>571369181
I would imagine. The skin melts almost immediately, and things start to boil pretty fast, Dehydration of the skin and insides is pretty fast. Once everything is dried out it catches fire and burns most of the time. My better guess would be maybe 10-15 seconds if its on full temp

>>571369218
I use a ton of air fresheners, my gf hates the smell when she uses my car still, although I dont notice it and most people in my car dont notice it

>>571369437
Depends on your experience, Most places only like to hire experienced people in this field

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to the bone question earlier, this is similar to the grinder we use, to grind bone remains into a dust to mix with the ash

>>571349232
Can the family request the remains NOT be ground?

>>571370542
depends on what they know of the process, alot of people dont want that sort of detail

Thanks for the bedtime story OP. Greetings from the Netherlands

Ever have a family member lose their shit to the point of being kicked out?