Useless superpower thread?
The ability to run slowly instead of walking and walk quickly instead of running.
The ability to have autism whenerver you want.
The ability of kicking people with your fists.
The ability to control die.
The ability to fly when touching the ground with both feet.
Am I a retard for being from Norway and not knowing your ways of speech? Am I a retard when I am pretty decent at your language, while you probably don't even know what the word "gutt" means? It means boy. How about this sentense: "Du er en stygg jævel". Can you understand? No. Probably not. Because you can't speak norwegian, i assume. I am the retard? I'll fucking knock you out of the water, you probably barely know your native language you fucking pleb. I hope you see now how stupid and ignorant your comment was. Retard.
>implying an autism toggle would be useless
Dude you could probably learn a new language or be good at maths or some shit. And if that doesn't work out you can just stop when you like.
How about this?
>be born with a lot of money, have a partially amputated dick
The ability to glow in the dark but only when in direct sunlight
The ability to hate any beverage that you want at any time, so much that it makes you vomit to see it
The ability to taste like metal
The ability to walk through lava without harm, but only when you're asleep
The ability to instantly teleport anywhere but you only get the correct destination 50% of the time
The ability to become completely defenseless
The ability to run at the speed of light but only backwards
The ability to turn your body into water, but you can't control the water
The ability to turn your skin invincible but everything but your skin is still vulnerable meaning you can still break your arm from an impact.
The ability to hack any security protocol, but only from this computer.
The ability to turn fish into bread
The ability to turn water into wine
The ability to revive three days later for a short period, but only when dying a gruesome death
oh wait lol that's jesus
That's useful. Find a place that has coke on sale, buy a ton, turn it into Pepsi, and return it for profit. I assume you can also change the written word coke into Pepsi, so just alter the receipt too.
>The ability of kicking people with your fists.
If I had this power I wouldn't consider it useless. If I could punch you with the force of a kick then I would value that power a great deal.
some people are into that kind of shit
The power of Jesus...
That is in no way a useless super power. This is the voice of experience, as I am in the middle of a catastrophic, beef stew, double flusher. Planning on showering after. TP is no use, this foe is beyond me.
the ability to have x-ray vision but only when its completly dark
the ability to be a terrific polka dancer, but only to salsa music
the ability to be the worlds best triangle player
the ability to fart through your mouth
the ability to change into the form of a bird but only when underwater
the ability to detect if other people lie by sniffing their assholes
>shake hands with someone that's wearing a gold ring
>ring turns into tofu
1999 Mystery Men.
his power also includes "only himself not his clothes".
Alongside the man who is incredibly accurate at throwing cutlery, and the guy who is able to get really really angry but not actually any stronger.
Break peoples faith in religion and the world gets on and we live happily ever after?
Being able to kill a random ant somewhere in the world every friday.
the ability to become superman but only while you have kryptonite wedge 3ft up your colon
i was trying to remember what i saw that spoon throwing nigger on.
Since im the op, i might as well dump these -