What do, /b/? I have no toilet plunger and my shit wasn't

>>570767247
let it sit for a few hours and then try and flush again
source: experience

>>570767342
Okay I'll try that. Thanks man.

try with cooking water

or duct tape the whole thing, get some water in and then apply pressure with yo hands

>>570767517
Yup push your fist way down that fucker

keep flushing, what could go wrong?

>>570767247
>take out toilet paper
>flush
>put tp back in
>flush again
>?????
>profit

>>570767692
The water went down a bit and I flushed again. Now I have a very wet, stinky bathroom floor. I threw all the towels in the bathroom at the mess before it could get to my carpet outside the bathroom.

>>570767342

Yeah, unless it's a complete blockage (very unlikely), the water will slowly drain. Also, the feces will soften.

>my shit wasn't even big

>implying the size of the shit is ever what clogs a toilet and not the half a roll of toilet paper you shove in there

>>570767949
keep flushing some more

Get a bucket of water, wait an hour, flush & dump the bucket in.

The resulting change in pressure should dislodge the shit. Either that or shit everywhere.

>>570767949
pics or it dident happen

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>>570767247
you need one of these: pic related

go get a plunger.
You could also fill the back of the toilet up all the way with water and flush it. the pressure should knock a clog loose.

Go to the store and buy a plunger? They aren't that expensive.

>>570767247
try vinegar and baking soda

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>>570768108
Update, sink works fine. I'll post pics of my bathroom floor and towels but you can't very clearly see what's going on.

>>570767949
Ignorant faggot

delete system 32

>>570767247

Just stick your hand down in there and push the clog out.

wait for it to drain, fill up a bucket of water and pour it down, more power than flushing

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>>570768261
I stepped in it while taking this photo.

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>>570768261
Wot. Wtf would the sink stop working if you clogged the fucking toilet?!

wire coat hanger. Cut it and bend it around u bend. wiggle until water goes down.

Grow a pair and put your whole arm into the hole, grab the shit out... taadaa!

Then you got to options, clean your arm with a lot of water and soap or maybe lick it while you masturbate with the other hand... choose as your wish.

>>570768550
Winner

>>570768090
this
dump water in quickly from a few feet above bowl...risky but effective

>>570768541
If it were some other plumbing problem that had nothing to do with the shit I just took

>>570768753
you have plumbing aptitude of nigger

>>570768740
Update. I'm thinking of doing that bucket of water thing but with a kettle of boiled water instead. Good idea?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54zAfJabiZU

Try something like this but with duct tape or something, Idk...

>>570768983
in b4 OP is fucking scalded by boilng water splashing back at him

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>>570768976
That's true.
>>570768983
Forgot pic

and op for future reference quit taking such huge shits and maybe you wouldnt clog your toilet

>>570768976
Well it makes sense, loss of pressure or something would show up elsewhere too, since he doesn't have a plunger why not check while you shitpost /b/??

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boiling water and dish soap....believe me.

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>>570769132
This. Do it OP, live up to the standards of this picture, don't make me a liar in front of our friends nigger

>>570768753
If there was an issue with your water/plumbing that would affect your sink, your toilet wouldn't clog and fill up like that. Just...fyi for when you do this again.

Use a pop bottled to push air down like plunger to dislodge. I've done this before I bought a 3$ one from walmart

>>570769140
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. >>570769132
The kettle won't really get hot enough to do real damage.

>>570768983
Most likely not, the water from the toilet is really cold. Hot/cold/porcelain, could be VERY bad for you. I'm assuming though.
I had a strong as fuck glass bong that happened to.

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>>570769478
I did it, two more pics incoming.

Install gentoo

>>570767247
>Ctrl+F firecr ...
if you have a small firecracker (about the size of your pinkie, not larger) tape it to a piece of bendy wire, light, and when its about half a second from exploding push it in as far as you can. the shockwave will clear smaller obstacles, just like sneezing.
If your wire is long enough to go past the ceramic and into the metal pipes, then you can take a bigger cracker

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>>570769816

>>570769964
Where is the smoke?

uggh

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>>570769854
I tried that :(

Gonna try flushing again. Wish me luck /b/

>>570769816
Shit, you said kettle and I was expecting like a big cast iron kettle. Dafuq man, thats a tea pot

>>570769217
If he had a water pressure problem he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place...go stick your head in your toilet tank and try to figure out how it works

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>>570770124
FUCK

>>570768541
go back to reddit with your shitty meme faces faggot

You can build your own plunger out of a plastic bottle. Cut off the top and push it with the open end deep into your toilet. Then squeeze it and see your problems go away.

I've done this before and it worked like a charm.

>>570770269
stick garden hose down it and blast on the water

>>570770269
What you could try doing is add more toilet paper so when you flush again the toilet paper will push the blocking item away
i did that twice and it worked fine :-)

>>570770269
Here's what you do:

Stick your hand in there and clear it up.
Wash hands afterwards
>"oh no, I can't let my velvety soft hands touch toilet water"

ok, faggetmode:
stick your hand in a plastic bag, repeat steps above.

This
>>570770426

In and out in and out.

>>570769964
you idiot, the point was for the the force of the incoming water to work with the flush to push the blockage down, pouring it from a kettle doesn't have any force, you need a bucket or something ffs

>>570770269
Do you have a towel that you want to trow out? if so, put the towel on a stick and secure it, don't care how just make sure it can't be seperated from the stick. Then use the towel as a plunger.

Or you can use a toilet brush...

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>>570767247
do like me, use piss jugs and shit outside from now on

Kick it, seriously kick the underside of the bowl to shake loose the clog... if that doesn't work just buy a damn plunger

OP is either retarded or trolling pics he saved from another site.

>>570767247
flush again, this helps because of the increased water pressure. toilets are built this way. right before the water will swap over it will suck alle the water in.

>>570767247
Right to be honest OP what advice are you really looking for? You will have to go out & buy a plunger or pay for a plumber

Fuck it, I'm just gonna buy a plunger guys.

>>570769439

holy shit this pic is art

>>570770124
wait until the water is gone.
fill a bucket with water.
bucket water goes in toilet FAST.
the pressure from the water will (probably) work and clean it out.

else, get your hands down there.

Try using a cup of dish soap.

Should help to grease up the shit that's clogged.

>>570771297
Or you can use a toilet brush like a plunger.
Use the toilet brush when the water is on a high level and just jab it the drainage a few times.
Thiw works for me all the time, since the fucking pipes are to small here.

>>570771239
You could have bought one and fixed your shit plug by now.

for fuck sake do what any normal person does. use the mop as a plunger. works for me every time.

My parents had a downstairs toilet installed with one of those pumps and small pipe. I took a dump in there one day (I was told it was only for peeing) and it clogged. My father had to dismantle the pump and get my shit out. I was like 'It's OK dad this is not the first time you have had to put your hands in my shit'.

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>>570771239
why didnt you just do this in the first place, dipshit

>>570767247
Obviously your only option is bleach mixed with ammonia. That shit will clean your toilet right out, and make it smell minty fresh, nignog.

Use a mop as a plunger OP.
I've been holding in a big shit all day. this fuckers going to hurt on the way out.

Trust me, I worked as a cleaner at the local mall.

If you have rubber gloves, put them on.
it will be less gross.

>get a garbage bag
>turn it inside out
>use it to cover your hand
>reach in, grab whatever you can and close the bag, protecting your hand
>flush
>try again if didn't get everything on the first try

has worked around 80% of the times I didn't have the plunger around, the toilets were glogged and here was a huge ass line outside off the bathroom

>>570771786
Laziness

Here are some things that may work (Depending on your "System":
Pour a Large Pot of water directly into the bowl; the rising water level will cause it to flush, and the extra water will help pull the water down.
Flush the toilet and let the bowl fill (Without overflowing!) when the water goes down and the tank is full, flush again.
If all else fails... Take it like a man, Unclog it by hand (been there, done that...) Jawamax 8<{D}

>>570769964
you have to be trolling with this shit

>>570773665
Not trolling, just retarded.

Dunk your head in and drown yourself faggot.

Dig it out with your hand stop being a pussy

>>570768983
Yes use boiling water
Best results if the bowl is near empty

>>570767247
do you have caustic soda?

>>570772538
buy some air freshener and some bleach and some pine sol while you're there

>>570775436
>>570775347
Update: it's very strange walking around target carrying nothing but a single toilet plunger.

>>570770679
You're the idiot. Pouring more water in won't force anymore pressure in it once its filled past the seal height. There is no pressure in a toilet. Its water above the seal height that creates the siphon on an unplugged toilet.
Source: I engineer / test toilets for a living.

Use this thing you take for cleaning the toilet as plunger. Put it in the hole and then fast back. Sry bad english, im from germany.

>>570775707
Just tell everyone you are doing science and you need it for an experiment

>>570767247
Just get one of these bad boys
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/h5qMbk5mL24" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

>>570775945
Get most of the water out of the bowl, fill a large bucket, and pour it in as quick as possible to create the siphon to pull the clog out.

sage goes in all fields

>>570775945
You should be busy engineering a toylit that doesn't clog instead of dickin' around here.

>>570776802
You would he surprised what we can flush down a toilet without it plugging. OP must be a yeti.

>>570777014
I've got an idea for you to pitch at the next meeting:

Aquarium Toilet Tank

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaSEaIpi89c

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Update: home now with my new purchase:

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>>570777941

>>570777941
good for you

>>570777941
should've picked up some toenail sanders

>>570777941
Prolapse your asshole with it.

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>>570777941
WELL THAT DIDN'T FUCKING WORK.

>>570777941
Why would you walk around barefoot when you have shit water all over the floor?

>>570767247
A mop works just as well as a plunger.

>>570778446
lmfao

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>>570778446
jesus

>>570778472
Because I'm not wearing pants.

>>570778446
fuck dude

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>>570778446
Go to home depot/lowes/etc., buy one of these

>>570778648
Someone should screencap this. My shitty (LOL) day should at least be worth some laughs in the future.

>>570778446
Actually, in my experience a mop works even better than a plunger. Just tug violently, eventually movement of water will cause the obstruction to move.

>>570778867
Op.. try bleach or some other heavy cleaning chemicals. It can break up the block

Get a fucking wire coat hanger

>>570778446
Do you have any kids that may have tried flushing a toy or something?

You're doin it wrong OP, you're supposed to shove the shit down the hole further, not pull it up into toilet

captcha lawrence ratdeop

>>570779131
I don't think that block's going anywhere. It certainly isn't shit because that's all over my floor.

>>570778446
You might have to do it more, really force your weight onto the plunger.

>>570778876
agreed. Op is just a faggot that doesn't want to listen

If your sink is backed up to then the clog is not in the p-trap of the toilet is is in the wall. If your live in an apartment, obviously your first, you need to call the landlord.

If it is your place this guy is spot on.
>>570778846
Get the one that can be attached to a power drill though, makes it a lot easier. If your a cheap ass nigger just return it when your done.

>>570779234
Or a grill that's been flushing her pads or tampons? You're right, its probably not shit blocking it.

>>570778446
Op doesnt know how to work a plunger. Damn fool

>>570779234
No kids, I just live with my mother.
>>570779352
I'll wait until the water goes down first.

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>>570779275
oh well. taking requests?

69 GET

seriously, garden hose is the best idea

jam it in there deep then turn on the water

then fucking that toilet using your garden hose dick

>>570779473
USE A FUCKING MOP YOU IMBECILE

>>570779428
I don't own a mop

>>570779465
post pic of your mom then i decide to help you

>>570779596
Stick with a towel wrapped around it will work

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>>570779564
hm?

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Postin in epic thread
also you could have used the toilet brush for the same effect just move it up and down really fast to create a vacuum

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kek

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>>570779750

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>this thread

>>570770124
OP wtf is wrong with your toes?

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I never understood why a supposedly technologically advanced country like the U.S. has such shitty toilets.

I wouldn't even know where to start trying to fix it. This is a toilet and you can still take way better pictures of your poop.

>>570780075
how the fuck does that toilet work
youd have skid marks like crazy
damn yuro shits

>>570772437

good one

OP

I had to shit in a brand new house once - no plunger.... Backed it up to all fuck.

I used a 1 liter bottle, and cut the base of it off. I then mad an incision about 3 inches long from the base up.

Use this to push the shit through the pipe... It'll work....

>>570778446


Jesus fucking Crust. Why would you not wear some fucking shoes while you're doing this?

>>570780075
and if it's a humongous pipe blocker at least you get the chance to mush it before you flush it.

>>570767247
I live in an apartment if that helps at all.

>>570778446
are your towels from the 90's?

>>570780075
>get massive shit smears all over the bottom of it
>have to clean it constantly
>this is supposed to be better

>>570780075
Because the tank in that picture uses about 6 gallons if water o'er flush. In the US it has to be less than 1.6 gal per flush.

>>570780345
go out and buy some shit to fix that idiot lazy fck

>>570780250

It works astoundingly well. See that toilet brush? I missed that thing over and over again when I had smeary shits in the U.S.

>>570780348
Yes
>>570780289
Because I'm not wearing pants
>>570780391
I'm in Canada

>>570780376
>>570780250

you throw some toilet paper on there first you halfwits

no toilet water splashing your ass, no skidmarks, ability to inspect your poop

seriously its the best

>>570780558
whereabouts in canada bud

>>570780514

Implying 99% of bathrooms in the US don't have a toilet brush.

>>570780669
Surrey, near Vancouver.

>>570780391
>In the US it has to be less than 1.6 gal per flush.

Point is, we've got plenty of fresh water over here, compared to many really dry areas in the U.S. And no, that's not 6 gallons. That's not even 6 liters. You wanna go all commie feminist eco-friendly on me?

>>570780075
>U.S.
Ive never seen a toilet with a bowl like that outside of germany...

>>570780558
So put some pants on. You're literally stepping in shit and piss. I hope you take a bleach bath when you're done.

boil water, add vinegar, pour down, it will break up the blockage whatever it is

>>570780665
so you sit on top of a pile of hot steamy shits?

>>570780665
That's inconvenient and wasteful

> no toilet plunger

Are you serious OP? I suspect bait.

my cousin stays in canda.. he just died from cancer like 2 days ago though..
Fuck it, cancers still funny

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>>570780075
i fucking hate those toilets...
if you want to take a really huge dump you always fear it will pile up until it reaches your ass..

>>570780818
>>570780669
Ontario, reporting in.

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>>570780818
Update: I managed to clean most of the water off the floor, but the floor is still decorated with little turds and disintegrated toilet paper.

>>570780826
Nope. You asked and I answered. I could give a fuck less how much water is used.
I bet it's a lot more than 6 liters to fill that tank. See my other posts- I engineer and test them for a living

>>570780838
I had plans to shower after anyway.

>>570781036
Are you doing this naked

>>570780831
Oh nvm i thought that was op's toilet

>2014
>not knowing you can use a toilet brush as a makeshift plunger

if you can't get it to drain with a plunger then you're not using it right. suction that fucker until it goes.

>>570781217
kek

>>570781217
Yes

Update: I need to piss. Kitchen sink it is I guess. Or should I do shower?

>>570767247
throw chocolate in
8

>>570781384
No, you add more fuel to the fire nigger

Put your hand in there and grab the shit.
It's your shit after all what's it matter if it gets on your hands? Stop being a bitch about it

inb4 OP's sink fills with shit water

>>570781036
Dude. Get a wire coat hanger. Straighten it out. Bend one end into a U shape. Fish the blockage out.

>>570781036
why u hiding your nasty toes now?

>>570780985
>if you want to take a really huge dump you always fear it will pile up until it reaches your ass..

If you can produce that large amounts of shit, you wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. You'd be living in an institute or zoo, in a cage. I took massive shits in my life before and they never became rebound shits.

>>570781475
But then I won't be able to post updates from my phone

>>570781608
You have two hands..

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>>570781036
Shove the plunger right in the hole and start pumping really hard you faggot!

>>570780916

inconvenient? how lazy are you? is taking off your pants before you take a shit also inconvenient for you?

>>570781608
stick your foot in it OP

Today OP was a stingy dumbass and got what he deserved

>>570781589
i know it's not a rational fear but it still is a fear

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mfw this thread

>>570781865
Now that you mention it, yes, it is.

>>570781608
Op has the water drained a little again? If so, find the biggest bucket you can, film it with water, and dump it into the toilet as fast as you can. It should create enough siphon to clear it.

OP is trolling hard. Notice how all exif data is missing. Obviously he has an entire set of pics to post in advance.

>>570782151

I'm 99.9% sure that the water level in an U.S. bowl is closer to the ass than the little "tableau" in European builts.

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>>570782261
Tried that twice. Also, how the fuck do I use this thing?

>>570767247
go buy a plunger. holy shit, they're like $5. who doesn't have a plunger?!?!

let the water go down again, then fill a bucket with water and *violently* throw it down the toilet, it usually does the work for me

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>>570782306
Fuck you
>>570782870
Read the thread

>>570783171

but its 26 today

>>570783232
Busted

>>570783171
Fuck, it's wednesday again

>>570783171
>Read the thread
it's really long! what response to "go buy a plunger" is in the thread that you can't just tell me now?

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>>570783171
Pissing in the shower

>>570783232
>but its 26 today

Valid point.

Nigger repost. Fuck off.

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>>570783232
Wait really? Fuck.

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>>570782669
OP there is no way you are that stupid
do you even basic physics?

>>570783171
Hahahahaha Sept. 24th. Noice 10/10/10/10

>>570767247
Get a new toilet

>>570783171
>24th
wut?

>>570783590

lold, youre an ok guy op

i hope you fix your toilet, but not too soon cause i like this thread

seriously use a fucking garden hose though god

>>570767342

DO NOT FLUSH.

This happened to me and it just got worse and worse, I have to glove up and physically remove the 'blockages'.

Wait for it to die down/remove things as necessary, do not FOR THE LOVE OF GOD flush until it's clear!!

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>>570783590

>>570767247
Most exciting bread in /b/ in months.

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>>570783585
LOL k. Post screenshots of another thread like this.

>>570783826
Post pics of what u fish out

>>570783826

Ah, read the rest of the thread, apparently it's too late for that.

You'll have to get your hands in OP, good luck.

>>570784154
someone seriously better be screenshotting this shit

>>570784165

Sorry, I meant to say 'had to', past tense.

The experience is well behind me, dumped all the business in a communal dumpster and laid-low.

>>570784154
OK unless good shoop I take it back. But you are still a retard. Get your hand in the bowl you twat. Or do what others said like wait for it to go down and throw a bucket in fast or use a wire hanger. It's like you are deliberately baiting (well you are posting on /b/ so you are I guess).

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>>570784154
try the plunger again
how did it not work ? what are you doing with it ? smacking your toilet ?

>>570782669
OMG YOU FUCKIN IMBECILE
10/10 BEST BREAD I'VE SEEN IN A WHILE.

>>570784379
Meant for op u niggerqweer.

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Use some drain cleaner, im surprised the plunger doesnt work, this could be a serious problem with your plumbing.

Go buy a plunger, if that doesn't work buy a snake, if that doesn't work go cry in the corner.

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>>570784379
Alright guys, looks like there's no way out of this with a normal plunger. I'm gonna go downstairs to head office and tell them I need a maintenance guy. Thanks for the great thread! Someone screenshot this and post it here so I can save it.

you are just retarded

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>>570784926
You better fucking do it naked.

go buy a plunger its like one of those things every house absolutely needs. i think the dollar store sells them but not very good ones.

>>570784926
Do it with what you are currently holding and wearing right now.

>>570785118
i second this

>>570785237
If it wouldn't put me at risk for indecency charges, you can bet your ass I would.

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This entire thread.

>>570785625
someone better screenshot this before it 404s because I gotta go talk to the building manager.

>>570785437
At least cover up with the towels from before....keep the plunger in hand.....sit on the landlord desk or furniture. Wait. Be patient...

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>>570785747
http://4archive.org/b/thread/570767247

>>570785871
25

>>570785871
glad to witness this bread, reminds me of old times

>>570784926
Swing the plunger around in anger splashing shit water everywhere, plop the plunger down on the landlord desk or something.

>>570785206
wow faggot

>>570785871
YEEEEESSSSS

>>570785871
>>570785747
>>570786113
Towel, plunger, or nude. So has b/ spoken, so shall it must b/.....