anyone got that legendary greentext story of the fat beta faggot, who lost weight, then got a hot girl, and then put on weight again, growing a neckbeard and got a fedora?
anyone?
>>570550571
thanks
not greentext, still good though.
Sounds cool, bompenge
>>570551123
lold
>>570551123
I sidled
>>570550278
The OP isn't even funny.
You need to slowly build into randomness, not just do 4 unconnected spaghetti things in 4 lines.
This is now a best of 4chan thread.
>>570551520
it was just a random story from google, im looking for a specific image, did you even read??
Not going to continue if i'm the only one..
This is now a beta thread.
Bumping with funny thread shit.
>>570551979
Thank god someone zoomed in on those funny quotes, I couldn't see the funny
>>570552521
This nigga has a grasshopper on his shirt.
>>570552759
Thats a Praying Mantis fighting a Ladybug m8.
>>570550278
> army fag married to dependspotamous x6 years.
> tired of fat bitch.
> no sex, didn't want to.
> volunteer to deploy. Don't get deployed fast enough.
> spend year getting in shape for special forces assessment and selection.
> wife leaves, meet girl around same time, when wife left home, fucked new chick less than one hr after wife left.
> date new girl for one month. She leaves me, death in family. Hit RCP for e-4.
> depressed for months, still do gym.
> hit RCP for e-4 soon after, so not only did I waste over a year getting in shape for SF and getting a packet together, I was looking at getting kicked out of the army.
> say fuck it, stop going to gym, no gf, no glory, no fucking point anymore.
> lurk on 4chan
>>570551979
So don't continue faggot. Your upset you tried to high jack a thread and nobody got on board? Suck a dog cock
>>570553303
Wow you should kill yourself.
>>570550278
>mfw i wrote this 3 years ago
>>570551520
Fuck yourself, memes aren't scripted.
>>570553382
I didn't try and high jack a thread, the fact that I was the only one posting in the OP's failed thread made me bored, What's got you so mad? Is it past your bedtime young one?
>>570553525
Fucking oath it's like ten pm and I haven't had my warm milk. So I reiterate, suck a dog cock.
>>570553671
Lol, Australian scum, end your life.
>>570553841
Sorry, too busy becoming an engineer. Kek.
>>570553943
Faggot
>>570553943
you mean too busy being average as fuck. becoming an engineer is what fucking everyone does nowadays. some time in the future, that degree will be worth nothing.
>>570554352
There's only going to be more and more technology in the world. Who builds and maintain this technology? Engineers.
30 replies and noone got the pic im requesting? dammit
well ill guess ill bump with random 4chan shit
>>570554473
you forgot computer scientists.
hardware and software. and engineer is usually about "how do you build it without it fucking up". so basically it's "applying physics to constructions" as a degree.
but what is REALLY important for that "technological future" you're on about is definitely computer science. without it, you'll live in a world of colors and lights and data and things you do not understand, and while you don't understand them, they can control you without you noticing. best example is viruses that can hijack your computer, the fact that government communication and encryption is on the internet, that you're being spied at by pretty much everyone as soon as you
>have windows
>have skype
>use the internet without tons of security shit
>don't have a VPN
>have an antivirus program
>have a smart device
>have facebook
and loads of other things. there's too much things that spy on you that you could count. and no, I'm not blocking myself from all that as I have nothing to hide. but come on, there's bill gates and zuckerberg and about a few thousand other assholes stripsearching your personality just through data, and many don't even know. and it will increase in the future.
computer science will be a must-have in the future, if you don't want to be a slave of uninformedness.
and then again, there used to be cases where hackers nearly managed to make nuclear reactors somewhere around the mddle east go boom. that could've wiped out thousands of lives. and computer science is not only the tool to do that, it's also the thing you need to know how to stop such things and protect yourself/others from it.
you still think the world will revolve around having a degree in making stable card houses?
>>570554473
>Who builds and maintain this technology?
Spanner Monkeys, usually.
>>570555174
The fuck are you going on about. Learn how to construct a cohesive statement, with logical progressions. Perhaps you're thinking more along the lines of computer psuedoscience
>>570550278
ayy lmao
still noone got it?
>>570553303
sux man
ma friends mom
>>570550278
Op find what you seek here http://imgur.com/r/4chan
im too lazy you cunt, its there though i seent it
>>570556738
its 2-3-4-5 years old...
>>570552168
obviously photoshopped
>>570557246
yeah, thats not an archive of 4chan though its an archive of the images posted as original posts to the reddit 4chan subreddit, its there. i read it sometime in the last month or two if you could be fucking arsed to find it. NYPA BITCH
I am taking over now.
>>570557972
Anyone lurking?
>>570558051
...NO.
>>570558051
Yes, thanks a lot of keeping the thread up, still looking for the pic requested tho
>>570558252
I don't think I have that one.
>>570558216
>>570558319
Long but worth the read.
>>570552521
Lol, of course it got downvoted. Silly white knights sometimes make the mistake thinking their beloved feminists care even a little about them.
>>570553303
Beta fag. Should've gone to ranger regiment that's where I am. We shit on SF
>>570558051
lurking
>>570553303
>Hit RCP for e-4.
Lost me here.
>>570555446
ah man i feel bad for this guy .... sucks to be him
>>570558642
WOULD HAVE! I was a 68w for four years. Reenlisted for ASI m6 (lpn). Half way thru the year long school we get notified that the ASI is turning into an mos.
It FUCKED me because I was going to remove the ASI via 4187 and get W1 ASI and reenlist for 2nd ranger regiment at Lewis.
So SF was my ONLY option at that point. Now I'm just a fucking pog ass 68c now.
Thanks a lot AMED.
>>570557979
I've seen a LOT of these stories, but never this one.
Nice.
>>570550278
YOU WANTED EQUALITY FEMINAZIS. THIS IS EQUALITY!
>>570558384
Oh my fucking god....
/thread that shit
>>570557319
The picture "proving" that this was fake is the photoshopped one, feggit.
>>570560461
lel
My best friend has a fat fetish and he did exactly that
Convinced his gf to gain weight and then dumped the newly-formed landwhale after a few months
Not even out of spite, he found a better girl
>>570560879
Haha.
Awesome motherfucker, I bet.
>>570560830
Contributing
>>570555446
that shit was fake
>>570558514
Brilliant!
old but gold
>>570555446
fucking niggers
>>570554473
yes but if lots of people become engineers the value of an engineering degree will go down.
>what is supply and demand
>what is the free market
>>570561573
I've browsed some shit, but every time I see this it makes me sad ;_;7
>>570562209
well... sad but you can still ejaculate but it depends if any nerves survived.
Luckily sex is not the only thing in this world.
>>570562331
It was a really dick move.
>>570562291
anyone else there when this happened?
I've been looking for the full version of this for months now, if anyone can deliver I'll give all my internets
>>570552168
Gotta stop posting that. It's so obviously editted it's painful.
>>570562973
top kek
>>570558420
>time flies when you're a faggot
lose my shit EVERY SINGLE TIME I READ THIS.
>>570555446
fake you retard
>>570558831
This scientifically makes no sense. What if an m&m lasts five rounds and then gets crushed? That doesn't make it weaker, you've been damaging the m&m every time. You should record how many rounds each m&m lasts, and then send back the one that lasted the most rounds.
>>570562593
>no timestamp
>thinking it's real
>>570561917
worth the read.
wish the original thread was still up so i could read the replies. pure gold.
>>570562492
>Luckily sex is not the only thing in this world.
Neckbeard detected
>>570563741
that's not how it works, the weaker m&m immediately breaks and the stronger isn't damaged at all therefore the last remaining one is the strongest
Noone got the pic op requested???
>>570557972
My sides are on Neptune
>>570561917
God fucking damn it
I hate fiction so much.
>>570561917
>>570564109
this was just fantastic, im glad it is just a joke because i would have bawww all day for this.
>>570555446
her head looks photoshopped in literally every single one of those pictures, even the profile pictures.
>>570563745
It was real.
His Facebook was linked to his Steam account with pictures showing it was obviously him. Got angry because he never received shit. Changed his profile name and deleted his Facebook.
>mfw someone sent it to his relatives
>>570564109
>>570564981
>>570565034
The best part is that I was really feeling for that guy. In the midst of reading it, I never once thought it was fake. Emotions kicking in near the end. Then I read the poem like.. wow.. the day /b/ got to me.
>>570565795
topkek
>>570564275
he's probably the opposite
virgins think they're missing out on the best thing in the world whereas people who have had sex know it's great but not something that gives life meaning
Ops story is something i need, not want
>>570562738
>>570557797
Does somebody have the entire thread? Or OP-post at least.
>>570565792
pics or it didn't happen
>>570565795
Poor guy
I actually have some OC, but it's not great, interesting or funny, just related.
>Go out with girl
>Get into room
>Get her off twice
>She gets me off
>Do this 5/6 times
>7th time, shes nearly cumming "anon do you have a condom"
>Spaghetti - "n-n-no"
>"I think I have one one sec"
>She walks over to bag, grabs one
>She says do you want me to put it on
>I spaghetti and say I can put it on myself
>We fuq
>She gets addicted to me, for weeks on end we fucked day in and out, but since she has to go to uni further north hundreds of miles away we break up
>Distraught, depression for almost two years
>Lose contact with everyone from my year
>Get new GF last year
>Better than expected.jpeg
>Post on jewbook after years, adding my current GF to my profile, as she's whining that if I don't I wont have any commitment.
>Old gf messages, gets really upset
>Apparently she'd still been into me after these years, never fucked anyone else
Literally four days ago I found out she was finally dating someone new
>The guy literally looks exactly like me
>Tfw
>Tfw she's been fetishising me for almost two and a half years
The guy is exactly like me in almost everyway, but the difference is that I've gained confidence in the last two years, he's a depressing beta fuck.
>I ask her why she's dating a depressing version of me
>I point this out to her bf two days ago, mention how whenever he finally gets to fuck her she'll only be thinking about me.
>Tfw he's heartbroken and they break up
>She asks why and starts crying over the phone
I am a dick
She's cute though, and she's still only ever loved me. I've been in love with her body type (and face) myself for years.
I might go back, she was always nice but I feel partially responsible for all her lifes fuckups. ;_;7
>>570566246
wow that's a shit greentext, what a waste of time
>>570564669
Ayy nigga you feel like uploading the folder?
>Be 10
>Playing Pokemon on shitter before school
>Still havent wiped
>Mon yells I have to go
>Have horrible poison ivy on crotch
>Pour a bunch of cream on my penis, put on my pants and run to the bus
>Girl I like sits next to me
>Asks me if ive ever been kissed
>I take out my gameboy
>She starts whispering in my ear
>I start sweating
>I look down
>The cream is seeping through my jeans, making it look like I cummed
>She notices
>I notice
>I open my fannie pack to grab some kleenexes
>My sphagetti falls out all over
>I start sweating more
>Realize I forgot to wipe my ass
>The entire bus smells like shit and spaghetti
>Bus gets to school
>Try and run to bathroom
>Teacher catches me
>Its penis inspection day
>My name is Alan Aardvark
>I have to go first
>Nurse demands for me to take off my pants
>I refuse
>She wrestles me down and gets a magnify glass real close to my crotch
>Close my eyes and scream the guile theme at the top of my lungs
>She unzips my pants, the smell of spaghetti, cream and shit leaks out
>She pukes on my dick
>Get Expelled
>>570566246
Thank you, most based anon
>>570567557
>I see greentext on 4chan
>I get horny
>Start looking at pictures of leaves
>Ignore actual porn on /b/, search google(dd-go actually) for 4 leaf clovers
>Get really horny over such glorious well formed beauty
>Tfw I jack off looking at leaves
True story
>>570567152
You should kill yourself.
>>570567519
I am done, actually.
Didn't realize I had that many before starting.
>>570567557
You shouldn't have gotten expelled because you tried to warn her.
But you really still should know better on penis inspection day
>>570567557
penis inspection day was always the best, to me it was like free hand job day from the hot nurse, i would make that bitch check my shit until she knew every atom of my dick inside and out, and then i would cum on her face and say it was an accident
>>570567557
why the fuck do you get penis inspection in school
>>570572091
to check for AIDS of course
>>570555446
Lel white fags always insecure about bbc
Babysitter roll thread caps anyone?
>>570561917
>old
>2014
you fucking retard
>>570561573
Jesus christ
>>570572091
le newfag faec.png
>>570574560
please go become an hero
>>570575251
>>570575251
>newfagging intensifies
>>570552574
i lol'd
>>570561573
Holy shit that is the most horrible thing i have ever read.
>>570576169
ive never seen so weak troll, literally go suicide
>>570577176
>hurr hurr, look at me, i'm a newfag
>>570577176
>>570574338
>sage mode level: new
shit has been re-posted a thousand times
>>570550278
i'll dump some oc and shit this is oc have a couple more
>>570577568
>>570552168
this thread is older than op
>>570558514
haha epic
Threads been alive for almost fiver hours. Not bad.
>>570566246
Gentleman and a scholar detected.
Thank you and stay based.
>>570577774
>>570561573
i have been lurking the halls of this cunt of a place since 2005. i have seen many truly disturbing things in this place. i have seen the best and worst of man with a single click. after all these years i have never turned away from my screen in utter disgust.. what an absolute mosquito of a human being.. fucking cunt
>>570579042
>>570579349
>>570579981
>>570580243
>>570580814
>>570558384
i remember this shit, that guy still looks like beta Hugh Jackman
>>570581156
guess its pointless to continue
>>570581554
lurking
>>570582203
>>570558051
yeep
>>570559307
hes a fucking beta he deserved it
>>570582540
>>570558572
classic
>>570566246
wowowoowowowoww
>>570561917
God. Fucking. Dammit. Seriously worth it.
>>570583203
>>570552521
BOOM, other thread shut down, was look for where to post.
>Work at hotel
>Family moves in for a few months
>Petite girl with bigger than DD tits, tits that defy gravity, also has a small tight tush.
>Beta Fag coworker lust over her for months, and is her bitch. Accumulated couple thousand $, because he's to stupid to realize h's being used, even after being told numerous times.
>I'm helping beta fag, giving him GREAT advise, and inside info. I became really good friends with her, because I'm digging another chick atm, idc about helping him.
>Beta fag is insecure, gets jealous of my friendship. Tries to lie to split us apart, and makes up lies about the chick that I dig.
>I pretend I don't know what he's doing, let him think he fooled me.
>Chick had been making eyes at me for months, but I never took bait because I was concentrating on my chick. Nothing was going on w/ me and that chick, so I was okay with making big tits my hoe for a night.
>Prep b4 fuck fest: Grope chick for a few nights while I work the graveyard shift. I Pretty much rubbed this girl all over her w/ clothes on, made her really lust after me.
>*Prep complete*
>Get invited to kick back, kick was over, didn't even make it out of the garage, where we said bye to the last ppl, before I fucked her.
>Next night I'm at work, coworker comes in to visit on his day off, tells me all about he fucked her. He tells me he woke her up, yada yada yada, he says "She sat on my face, and I ate her out for almost an hour." MFW I realize she didn't shower, she still had my man juices in her.
>Didn't fuck her again since I was getting inside info the whole time, I wasn't sure if I could trust her, knowing how she manipulated Beta Fag.
>>570563741
No, the winners of the first round go through to a second round to compete against eachother, etc etc.
This one always gets me
does anyone have the link to a video clip that seems like its from a show or movie but the dude get raped by the ghost? Not the shit for the haunted house movie, I think they were dressed in colonial clothes
Has the story that OP wanted been posted yet?
any one remember this one?
>>570585317
> mfw hadn't seen before
>>570561573
It's amazing. /b/ is capable of feeling sympathy after all.
damn EB. those feels
PVVVVTPHHH
>>570555446
>mfw
10/10 would bury hatchets in their heads
>>570559452
>with the force of a thousand pelicans
I'm crying
>>570584507
Story ends with Beta fag stealing a laptop, gets caught, and I fap at the thought of Beta Fag life going down the drain, but not enough to tell him, fucker might kill himself.
He also tried to get into my twitter, he knew my account name, it only has two followers but I still tweet time to time, just random as shit so IDC that he knows it. I know it was him because I had pretty much cut off my online persona at that time in my life, he was the only one that would target me, and so sloppily too. I get notified of password change request, I change password right away. Here is the kicker, I know Beta Fag's twitter, his life is sad, and I get to enjoy it. (I at this point have jumped moves ahead of him, I follow one of his 11 followers, so I chose the one that follows a little amount of ppl so I can always keep track., I change my twitter handle name, and make another account as under past twitter handle so URL lives on.
>>570561573
i feel sorry for OP tons of stories, not the right one....
>>570585948
Newfag. This is reposted so much I can literally feel it coming out of my ballsack when I wank.
>>570583996
>>570558384
With fanart
>>570587424
>>570587363
Good for you.
>>570587746
>>570587915
>>570588128
>>570587746
> smoke grenades
Sensibly chuckled.
i'm the guy, glad I can share the story again
>be me, 16
>beta
>feel like a fat fuck
>i need to lose weight
>i jerk off for the next few hours
>right arm done
>switch arms
>few hours later
>left arm done
>my arms are small but the rest of me is fat
>what the fuck happened
>go to the gym
>i still look like a faggot
>go on a treadmill for 30 minutes every day
>a few weeks later
>thinking to myself "looking good, anon"
>go to a party at a friend's house
>not fat anymore
>"hey have you lost weight anon?"
>"yep"
>1 hour later
>9/10 girl
>conversation
>we end up going to my apartment
>ended up dating for a long time
>2 years later
>been eating unhealthy for the past few years
>cum on 9/10 qt 3.14 i've been dating
>grow neckbeard
>buy fedora
>install gentoo
>set background wallpaper to undressed anime girls
>open terminal
>make it spew out bullshit strings
>"i look so much like a hacker"
>jerk off with my head
>cum inside my fedora
>put fedora on
>tip fedora
feels good man
>>570587424
gold
>>570588365
>>570587746
I lost my Shit
thx anon
>>570559092
this is fucking beautiful.
>>570588803
>>570589194
why there are so many threads like this recently?
>>570557979
this is my fav
>>570589645
Because the recent sjw/mod faggotry makes oldfags long for days forgotten
>>570558642
Ugh, I hope you die by friendly fire
>>570589645
>>570573315
oh right.
>>570553303
enjoy life man, this is the shit (no nagging whores, beer n chips)
>>570590954
1/3 and im out
>>570591521
2/3
>>570591594
>>570562319
If you need it in high school economics terms, what he's saying is that as supply rises, demand will also rise, so the value of the degree will stay constant.
>>570592004
That's actually not what classical economics says. Get educated.