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new #AppleBend thread
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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Thread replies: 170
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new #AppleBend thread
>>
Wow Apple really is innovating
>>
has science gone too far?
>>
Bump
I'll photoshop just send me ideas and pics
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Letsa go
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>>570332395
header:
"Exploring iPhone 6 Plus's Secret Feature..."

actual headline:
"Apple's patented "iFlex" aluminum alloy allows for complete user control of the shape and curvature of the iPhone 6 Plus's screen"

"What is iFlex?"
"iFlex is Apple's greatest accomplishment in the development of the iPhone 6 Plus. A newly developed aluminum alloy used in the production of the iPhone 6 Plus casing paired with the "flexirillla" polymer used in the making of the gorilla glass of the iPhone screen makes for a wholly firm but bendable, damage resistant phone. "

"What does iFlex do?"
"iFlex allows you to personally reshape the screen of your phone for a custom viewing experience as unique as the owner that shaped it. Each iPhone 6 Plus is iFlex ready, straight out of the box. Fully customize your viewing angle, grip style, speaker direction, and much, much more! Best of all iFlex is easy to use and totally reversible at any time."

"How do I use iFlex on my iPhone 6 Plus?"
"All iPhone 6 Plus phones have iFlex capability immediately ready for use. To adjust the shape of your device, simply hold your iPhone 6 Plus with both hands and firmly press the back cover. For best results, begin adjustments near the volume control, continuing your custom curve down the length of the device."

"Worried about breaking your device? Don't be. We spent the last three years developing this revolutionary aluminum alloy that's malleable enough to bend, but strong enough to withstand whatever you put it through. You can bend the device just how you want it.

If you're not happy with the shape of your iPhone 6 Plus's curve, you can walk into any Apple Store across the US, and one of our Apple Geniuses will restore it to the default smooth surface. If your iPhone 6 Plus is damaged in any way from iFlex adjustments, Apple will provide a replacement iPhone 6 Plus, no questions asked. That's the Apple Care guarantee.
>>
can't wait to try this myself! way to go apple!
>>
Amazing. I love technology! Thanks Lori!
>>
>>570332395
Saw the video. That's pretty cool. Thing still works after you bend the fuck out of it.

I'm on my third HTC, they just fuckin break.
>>
>>570332659
I insist, change the last "allows you to" with "perfecting your viewing angle"
>>
meh. waterproof was 10/10. microwave charge was 5/10 only idiots fell for it. this is 2/10. Only full blown mentally handicapped, retard-strength people are gonna bend their phones so hard they break something.
>>
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>>570332659
fuck off nigger, that's mine.

how about this gais
gais pls
>>
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>>570332395
fist attempt
>>
>>570332395

You think some idiots are actually going to do this? First line of productions for iPhones always has flaws.

Nice work though, OP.
>>
>>570333029
yes.
>>
Brilliant achivement! Top that, Samsung
>>
>>570332395

this is too obvious with "greatest achievement' and needs more relaxed feelings of impressive abilities and improvements
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>>570333029

There were people that believed iOS7 made their phone water proof
>>
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What to put?
>>
>>570332931
Winner
>>
>>570332395
Nice, lets get this shit rollong
>>
>>570333029
Do you not remember the dumb bitches trying to use their iPads as scales?
>>
>>570333029
I'll do it as soon as I get mine
>>
>>570333029
This fuckin retard did:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znK652H6yQM

He didn't "test" shit, he just bent his fuckin phone. What an idiot.

I'm just impressed the thing still works.
>>
>>570333159

All of my what.
>>
>>570333374
there was also the iwave, where people microwaved their phones because they thought it would charge it
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>>570332931
bottom text block

>you
>you
>your

>view
>viewing
>>
I'VE GOT IT!

Add a picture of a guy standing on a phone, with a pencil under either end of the phone, stating it's the best way to create the optimal factory-new bend.
>>
>>570333175
"45 Bend it faggot"
>>
>>570332931
>Apple not ending on a snooty one-liner
No one's gonna believe that
>>
>>570333516

there was also the iwave, where people microwaved their phones because they thought it would charge it
>>
>>570333029

did you seriously just say first line? The materials in the phone dont change over the course of the year. Shitty weak aluminum remains shitty and weak the thinner the phone. Iphone have been bending since the 5 now. Even the ipod touch is thin and fuck which means it will bend so easily. Bendgate is the best thing ive ever witnessed since the antennagate debacle. Priceless.
>>
>>570333517
at this point it's picky

>>570333680
>not knowing how literally retarded people are
>>
feature to compete with samsung's curved phone
(galaxy round?)
>>
>>570332395
>achivement
>>
Samsung would probably first with this feature, then apple steals it and would be called innovators.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2AT4ldvrfI
>>
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>>570333589
>>
>>570332395
Wait iPhones are actually are so fucking flimsy you can bend and break them with just your hands?
>>
>>570333519
>>570333519
>>570333519
>>570333519
>>
>>570334145
Yep
>>
>>570334010
>Charging you battery with some bullshit innovation

they are not going to fall for this again
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>>570334145
see
>>570333292
>>
>>570334145
You can break any smart phone with just your hands. The screens are glass. They're plastic or thin metal.
>>
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>
>>
>>570334204
Did you just bump your own shitty idea?
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>>570334427
No. Now start bumping this excellent idea.

>>570333519
>>570333519
>>570333519
>>
>>570334323
>>570334034
>>570333175
and the iPhone template is born

I'm such a proud father
>>
You can break any phone with just your hands, if your not a pussy
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>>570332395
i've been lurking since the beginning of the first thread, you guys are fucking genius.
>>
>>570334539
no, this is the shittiest idea you could have possibly came up with
>>
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>>570332395
trolling iphone users
>>
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People don't even need to be fooled into doing this.
>>
Bending is representative a strength... it means it deforms at its yield strength instead of fracture.

This translates to dropping the phone not breaking, at the physics of the universe imposed cost of it bending under the same stress.

There's a reason strength is measured in force/distance.
>>
>>570334323
>>570334010
>>570333175
>>570332931
>>570332659
>>570332395

Put some shit about bending the phone back and forth will create nano-friction within the chassis and feed electricity to the battery thus making it last longer.

People are dumb enough to believe that.
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>>570334668
It's a great idea, yeah. Keep bumping it. The idea:
>>570333519
>>570333519
>>570333519
Great idea. Add it.
>>
>>570332931
Work on the text

>>570334010
Work on the pics
>>
>>570334896
Add this:
>>570333519
>>
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>>570332395
OC

any suggestions on how i should change it?
>>
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>>570332693
Getting there
>>
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THE BENDING HAS BEGUN

>>570334896
what about the text
>>
>>570332610
It can never go too far.
>>
>>570335081
Yeah, add this:
>>570333519
And say it's only for Nikes made after 2004.
>>
>>570334896

wat aboot the pics
>>
>>570332693
We already decided to name this feature Bend in the previous thread. Also, new Apple announcements no longer have the "i" prefix.
>>
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>>570334793
>nano friction

MY SIDES ARE IN SIRIUS B
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>>570334550
>>570334392

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwM4ypi3at0

Apparently not, faggots
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>>570335249
Art
>>
>>570335391
oh god not again
>>
>>570335159
See: >>570333517
>>
>>570335249
>capitalized the i in iPhone

come on nigger
>>
>>570335305
Some guys can rip apart phonebooks. Also, you are a jew.
>>
>>570332693

much better copy

though considering the faggoty here it'll be ignored
>>
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>>570332395
But will it blend? That is the question.
>>
>>570335128
Apple would never put that much wording on an ad...get your shit together. No major company would.

Short and simple, anon.
>>
>>570334793
"Nano-friction" kek
>>
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Here's my mockup.

Make it look pro and we are golden.
>>
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>>570332395
I like it
>>
>>570332395
>>570335081
This is great, /b/ you've pleasantly surprised me when I thought you were just all hormone raging circling jerking newfags.
>>
>>570335508
LMAO such a straw man argument

well im an apple fanboy, their new phone is SHIT so lets see what I can think of.. oh yeah, um... strong men can rip phone books in half, DUH see? there the Androids are inferior because Strongman Jones can break it...
>>
>>570335694
Its much too wordy. The target audience for this will tldr
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>>570335753
HA
>>
>>570335753
best one, use it, 10/10
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Ideas? Changes?
>>
>>570335770
Tom isn't doing the show anymore

Now it's replaced with Dubstep shit
>>
>>570335753
first time I've actually laughed at that dumbass banana
>>
>>570332659

This is the best one so far imo
>>
>>570336046
Hanging yourself?
>>
>>570336103
i hate it too...i know your pain.
>>
>>570334703
i can solve this easily
>stop getting so damn excited about your new phone
>>
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/23/iphone-6-bend-video_n_5870736.html
>>
>>570336046
>geature

try proof-reading your shit, nig nog
>>
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>>570334793
Mfw this would really be believed
>>
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>>570332395

All hail the great metal lord for bestowing the bendaning upon us.
>>
>>570336046
Apple dumped Myriad Pro a while ago. Also, no.
>>
You know you're good at being a hype lord when homosex ppl blame their jeans over you.
>>
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nanofriction its ON
>>
>>570335694
Apple doesn't use "iXYZ" anymore.

All their new shit is "Apple XYZ" or just "XYZ" capitalized.

See: Apple Watch, Apple Pay, Retina, Focus Pixels, etc.
>>
>>570332654
How about saying its screen is Kevlar and it's bullet proof
>>
>>570335694
I agree

but this dude >>570335128 is working on it, and it looks good so far. Keep it up anon. This has the most potential
>>
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>>570335753
I really like this feature

>>570336236
bender is now official mascot

how about this niggers
>>
thanks apple
>>
A little more convincing
>>
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>>570335159

Everything that has a beginning has a bend, Neo.
>>
You know what. I'll give it a try. What are the fonts apple usally use?
>>
>>570336273
incredible
>>
>>570336278
>Apple doesn't use "iXYZ" anymore.
>iPhone 6

careful, your potatoes are showing
>>
>>570336484
Thiss
>>
>>570336425
>>570336273
I feel like apple wouldn't center text. I'm thinking justify.
>>
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>>570336484
nice
>>
>>570335508
Shut up faggot
>>
>>570336484
noice
>>
>>570336484

lelelelelelel
>>
>>570336484
give me that template pls

pls
>>
>>570332931
>No full stop on slogan

nigger please. The expert has arrived, I wrote a 40 page thesis on advertising for my minor
>>
>>570336046

every other attempt is awful and too obvious. This is very close, you just need to somehow word it to where there isn't a "you can bend it however you want" statement. I would say it can bend up to 35 degrees or something. And compare the 35 degrees to something witty for reference. Also add one or two more jokes as Apple does that, but nothing too silly.
>>
>>570332395
whoever did this should have spent more time on grammar than graphic design
>>
>>570332950
Fist yourself.
>>
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>>570336484
>>
It needs to be simple and clean guys. I know you're hoping people will snap their phones in half but given that the Wave thing was fairly recent means that something wordy with directions will be less than believable. Simple state that a new alloy allows for safe bending in both directions. It's an intended feature for you to contour the device to your liking.

We all know it's coke can quality aluminum that'll crinkle upon being bent back and even crack and that should be enough.
>>
>>570336425
In the last paragraph you guys aren't fucking using "innovates" correctly. Use a different word like "revolutionizes" or something
>>
>>570336484
you think people will notice that /b/ random is a tab in the picture? kek
>>
>>570336612
The iPhone name is 7+ years old and is the most famous thing Apple has going for them.

They aren't going to change that name ever.

That doesn't change the fact that their branding has changed.

It's not called the iWatch, it's the Apple Watch. Not iPay, but Apple Pay. That's all the proof you need.
>>
>>570332395
To be fair Samsung already showed a phone that could do such things like 2 years ago I'm pretty sure. So given the point of 3-5 years this will be legit but maybe with the iPhone 8-9.
>>
What a retarded thread, big fucking deal Apple came out with another idiotic feature. Who cares?

Apple products suck anyway, the 'bend' is hardly impressive, I guarantee any manufacturer could do that if they want to.

Only time will tell if they will want to start doing that to all phones though.
>>
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.
>>
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>>570332395
>kek
>>
>>570337115
if you watch iphone 6 bending videos it actually looks quite robust
>>
>>570336273
I feel like iPhone users would be too wary of battery related stuff after the microwave thing getting so much coverage.
>>
Get rid of the stupid fucking feats line you dipshits. this isn't how apple talks. they use hot words like innovation.
>>
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Hows this?
>>
>>570334793
>nano-friction
>americans will believe anything with a big word they don't recognize in it
>>
>>570336484
WINNER

just need the perfect copy
>>
>>570332847
but people will fuck up their screen trying.
>>
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>>570337229
>>
so what's the version we are going with? this new thread is stupid disorganized
>>
>>570337168
wow, you sound like I interrupted you sucking John's cock. I'll let you get back to that...
>>
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I already saw an article about beding iphones lol
>>
>>570337241
for the hoard
>>
>>570335249
Anyone else read this as the shamwow guy?
>>
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I'm signing off yall, have fun kiddins:

PSD hurr

https://mega.co.nz/#!eEBRHA5S!kN3KungWz-B_gJjnhFZZKHq02w02xt-5lv-UJ9gcRhA
>>
>>570336484
why the fuck would there be tabs at the top?
>>
>>570336425
"this innovates"

FAIL
>>
>>570332395
mr crowley
>>
>>570335081
font of black text
>>
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>>570336689
looks lined up on the left side
>>
>>570337602
>all dat dolphin porn

Truly the 21th century
>>
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>>570337434
Skipped the nano-friction part though :p
>>
>>570336484
>remove /b/-random tab
>send to Facebook and other shitty social media
>????
>Profit
>>
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>>570332395
>>570332659
>>570332931
>>570334010
>>570334034

You're all evil geniuses.
>>
>>570335081
That looks like an Apple ad from the mid 90s.
>>
>>570337482
Lol, mad that one of Apple's design features isn't perfect?

I'm sure they spent a bit of time just trying their hardest to create the perfect 'bend', but in the end, it's the actual OS and battery that matter the most.
>>
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Here niggers
>>
>>570332395
thunder underground
>>
>>570336484
>/b/ random in tabs.
That's gotta go
>>
>>570334034
This is the kind of shit that makes love 4chan
>>
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>>570337767
Thanks
>>
>>570336484
>>570337434

Introducing Bend <-- add an Copyright symbol

Apple's revolutionary patent aluminum alloy lets users create a more enjoyable viewing experience by bending and molding the iPhone .

somthing along this line
>>
>>570338101
Win-fucking-rar
>>
>>570332395
Ghost behind my eyes
>>
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here's a template of one i made
>>
>>570332395
10/10

you are doing gods work
>>
Idiots, this feature doesn't make sense. iPhone is already bending in people's pockets. The news is already out there about it.

Instead posting a "fix" for the bending would seem legit. What you need is a method of reconstruction of the shape back into original form that's clever and full of lulz.

Start thinkin y'all.
Thread replies: 170
Thread images: 48
Thread DB ID: 14383



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