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ITT: we come up with completely useless super...
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ITT: we come up with completely useless super powers. I'll start
>the ability to power any electronic device while having sex
>inb4 that one guy who always finds some illogical use for our powers
>pic unrelated
>>
ability to see the future clear as day but only 4 seconds ahead
>>
>>568656084
umm ever heard of a vibrator
>>
ability to speak any language, unless you need to speak that language.
>>
>>568656217
You are about to cross the street, and you look 4 seconds ahead. You are about to get hit by a bus. You avoid your own death.
>>
>>568656084
The ability to change into any kind of dildo at will
>>
>>568656217
have you never been to the casino?

christ you guys suck at this

ability to make people think dryer lint is candy
>>
You can cheat on tests but answers are given in a language you don't understand
>>
>>568656217
dude are you even trying? all that does is give you god tier reaction time
>>
>>568656437
>find hot 10/10 blonde
>she won't have sex with you because you are fat neckbeard who browses /b/
>turn into giant 14 inch nigger dildo, hide in her room
>she uses you to fuck herself
>you have just had sex with a hot 10/10 blonde
>>
The ability to turn two nickles into one dime
>>
Really flexible thumbs combined with the ability to conjure up debilitating head aches on yourself
>>
>>568656084
so what actually happens in that gif besides a drunk chick falling with a sheet over her head
>>
Here's another one.
>the ability to see exactly how a tragic accident could have been avoided
>>
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The ability to power empty vending machines
>>
>>568656217

That would be really useful in several situations especially fighting, getting hit by a car ect ect
>>
>>568656217
>>568656429
>>568656592
>>568656717
FINE. 0.25 seconds ahead

I knew 4 seconds was too generous
>>
The ability to trip over anything.
>>
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>>568656084
Ok, I can live without power
>>
The ability to fly but only underwater
>>
Invisibility power that only works while playing the Trombone.
>>
the ability to dehydrate yourself through peeing
>>
>>568656084
the power to make windows appear opaque to you
>>
Ability to turn things into shit. Through tongue contact only.
>>
>>568656930
>get job refilling vending machines
>have no cost outside of transportation
>profiteering
nigra puhlease
>>
>>568657065
>trips over nothing

With useless powers comes alot of butthurt
>>
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The ability to hear sound on webms
>>
>>568656084
The ability to leak semen out of your ears every time you bleed.
>>
>>568657250
THAT would be hilarious in fact
>>
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>>568656084

ability to cause radio interference if I position my arms like an antenna
>fake phone call?
>radio on the bus?
>date is a cyborg?

so many problems resolved at once. pic unrelated
>>
Pee drinkable water (as good as natural)

- even if it was useful, no one would want to drink it
>>
The ability to make a fedora appear over your head whenever you say "m'lady" or "r/atheism".
It, however, disappeares after you finish saying the word so you can't sell them and get cash.
>>
>>568657737
>trapped in desert with no provide trap
>only semen and urine as fluid

>not drink clean urine milk
>>
>>568657250
Dude I'm crying from laughter, I don't know why
>>
>>568656084
The ability to rap in jibberish
>>
The ability to shitpost on 4chan and get CP embedded in only your ad banners
>>
>>568656660
>In class, doing test
>Test is a Spanish test
>No idea what the fuck the answer is
>Use superpower
>Answer comes to you in Spanish
>Fuck you, faggot superpower
>>
The ability to have sex with any girl...under the age of 10
>>
>>568657519
he can only give an empty machine electricity, not content you dumb fuck
>>
The ability to stop time.
>>
>>568657965
>apply blackface
>get recording contract
>make millions under the moniker "lil Wayne"
Also some of these powers on this thread aren't even powers, but more like disabilities.
>>
>>568658162
This.

How about the ability to see in the future, but not be able to change it, as the future you see is the one that actually plays out but not the hypothetical one?
>>
>>568658310
Exactly what i was thinking. Got another one.
Be able to think in any language but not be able to speak it, write it or read it.
>>
>>568658105
this is useless ???
>>
Ability to pick up waitresses and bartenders.
>>
the ability to lurk /b/
>>
>>568658162
>useless
more like best super power
>>
>>568656887
That's called hindsight, I believe everyone has it
>>
the ability to turn the oxygen you breath into carbon dioxide
>>
>>568658613
Not if it stops you too. It would just be like pausing a movie. the same stuff would happen once it restarted.
>>
>the power to instantly convert clean water into urine by drinking it
Basically it would skip everything else. Any water that I drink would be instantly converted to urine to be pissed out. I could do this at will, any time I wanted.
>>
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>>568656084
the ability to slightly increase the speed of one red blood cell that courses through your veins
>>
>>568658153
I misread
>get empty vending machines
>power them bitches
>harvest the electricity from the moving parts of the empty vending machine
>profiteering
Nigro.
Puh. fucking. lease.
>>
>>568658824
I literally cannot think of a single useful application for this.
Well done anon.
>>
The ability to be the fastest person in the world but you're a nugget
>>
>>568656084
The ability to become invisible but only when nobody sees you
>>
>>568658810
Worse, the power is just "stop time" not restart it.
>>
>>568658810
but you can still observe a million little things and think through the conversation for example
>>
>>568657858
Become world famous magician. Bet people you can spawn hats out of thin air. Profit.
>>
>>568658815
that would be useful for a porn star
>>
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>>568658940
Real original, faggot
>>
>>568657354
>>568658824
nice !
>>
>>568657029
Cool, reaction time for everything decreased from .6s to .35s. Am now world-champion racer.
>>
>>568659012
>implying electrical impulses in your brain can move around while time is frozen
>implying you are conscious without time
Top lel
>>
Ability to steal money from the poor.
>>
>>568657250
Thanks, yahtzee.
>>
Ability to steal money from your wallet
>>
The literal ability to shit bricks, all the pain and surgical complications included.
>>
The ability to fart when you cum
>>
>>568658105
how is that bad?
>>
The ability to be racist against hard working, non stereotypical persons of African decent.
>>
>>568659558
still usefull. poor people do havemoney you know. governments do it all the time
>>
>>568659558
Technically, I'm poor, but I still have 100 dollars to my name, so stealing from the poor is a viable option
>>
>>568658824
Wait, I can already do this, or at least some facsimile of it. I could also say, "ability to do (anything obscure) in a way that is 'better' by (inarguably trivial amount)"
>>
>>568656084
Buy electric car, travel across country via road head.
>>
>>568657965
>presincolinensinainciusol
>>
>>568659547
ok, I underestimated /b/
>>
>>568659860
you can't do that. maybe you can increase the speed of your red blood cells by moving a limb or something. but you still don't have the power to slightly
control the speed of one red blood cell at will.
>>
>>568660005
>implying anyone would have sex with anyone on /b/
>>
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The ability to fuck a heated toaster while singing a top 40 song
>>
>>568657250
not really usless cause it has mind fuck and spooky properties.
even though they can hear you they cant see you so logic would say the trombone sound is coming from elsewhere but you could be right there playing it and itd drive the person crazy
>>
>>568659547
btw, if so, how the time gets actually frozen, you won't even notice it. it could be freezing chaotically now, and we wont see it
>>
>>568660193
This splits hairs at a level where your whole point is that it's so insignificant and specific that it is inarguable.

I'm saying that your power can't be inarguably useless, this "power" could be said not to even exist. It's almost unprovable.
>>
>>568660267
That's not a power. that's something that you can do, but choose not to do.
>captcha: Biseck road
>>
>>568659668
>useless
>>
>>568656084
You can travel throu time but ony forward, and it takes you as long as you travel
>>
the ability to telleport to the moon
>>
>>568659668
You've clearly never been to an orgy in Germany. This is not useless.
>>
>>568660369
but the trombone will not be invisible, only you
>>
>>568656084

The abilitiy to speak any language but only with a black cock in your mouth.
>>
>>568660121
Did you, now?
Faggots should /sci/ more often.
>>
>>568660546
it's called life
>>
>>568656084
The ability to destroy currency with a single touch.
>>
>>568660579

Fucking /b/ man
>>
Ability to increase or decrease foot size by a shoe size or two depending on how hard you concentrate.
>>
>>568657624
>webms allready have sound but jewt wont let us use it because of file size
>people have to remove sound from webms before posting them
>moot plz
>>
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The dynamic duo:

76 degrees Fahrenheit man
And
Unlimited jackets man

You are slightly uncomfortable so you go to take off you jacket then you realize you have another jacket. There is no way to stop this evil
>>
The ability to instantly tune a piano if the temperature is below 20°C.
>>
the ability to clone niggers

completely useless until we bring back slavery
>>
>>568660435
so if you have the power to stop time, it's not valid because you can't prove it even to yourself? nice try.
>>
>>568660642
>useless
Yeah when you're getting gang-raped by 4,000 niggers in Harlem, you'll be extremely tankful you can use your ebonics then.
>>
>>568660417
>implying time moves at a linear constant speed
>implying our perception of the world doesn't quicken as time speeds up randomly
>implying it doesn't stop when time stops
>implying it matters since the way we percieve things is our universe and not the way it actually is
>>
>>568656429
But, maybe I want to get hit. Either I die or sue the city. Win win.
>>
The ability to tell how fast a person's hair is growing
>>
the ability to make any girl friend zone you.
>>
>>568661006
How could you not prove that?

Is this some kind of sarcasm?
>>
Ability to turn any inanimate object to cheese but it is always horrible smelling and improperly aged
>>
>>568661149

thats actually fucking usefull niggah.

ay lmao wish I was friendzoned
>>
The ability to talk to food
>>
>>568661308
I can already do this.
>>
>>568661265
pretty damn useless when someone is firing bullets at you
>>
>>568661149
>Girl you're not into in your friend group is really into you
>will get hurt/fuck up the dynamic of the group if you deny her
>Friendzone this, bitch!
>>
>>568660417
everyone actually has this power but they just don't know it
>>
>>568661265

Burger king would buy it
>>
>>568660625
well now its lightly more useless but the spooky properties just skyrocketed
>be doing random business at night have to go down creepy alley or maybe you're in a spooky place to begin with
>randomly hear trombone music
>around the corner comes a floating trombone
>it plays louder and more aggressively the closer it gets
>you bolt
>it chases after you
videotape it and many laughs for weeks
>>
>>568661063
"aww shi mang ah di'int no u wasn't inta gettin gangbang'd cmon niggas les bounce"
>>
>>568656084
scientists create some machine that requires an unfeasible amount of energy to power for a short period? Get paid millions.
>>
The ability to create parallel realities.
>>
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The ability to attract 10/10's, but the lack of interest in relationships.
>>
The ability to cure anyone of the Black Death, as long as said person has an IQ of over 200.
>>
>>568658940
>The ability to become invisible but only when nobody sees you

>hide where nobody can see you
>turn invisible
>they now can't see you because you are invisible
>???

This thread was about useless powers.
>>
>>568660941
>clone
>put in steel box with knives
>dangle fried chicken legs from cieling
>capture energy from murderous nigging
>use dead nigs for animal feed
>clone more
>>
>>568657250
Kek
>>
>>568660941
You'd just have to convince one nig nog to join the military and get cloned. Then you would have a unlimited amount of angry pre-trained ape people to fight for you. You could take over the entire world.
>>
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>>568661662
>>
>>568661589
"aw hale tahrone I thot dis wassa whi boi buh he talkin hoodnshit dawg"
>>
The ability to find true love.
>>
The ability to fart on command but only at really inappropriate times.
>>
the ability to sing very well, but only when you're sawing off one of your own fingers
>>
>>568661930
But anon.. there are no appropriate times to fart..
>>
>>568658105
This is the most useful power in the thread.
>>
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>>568656084
That first one isn't so useless.
> girl wants to play with vibe/plug
>fuck, no batteries
>well, I guess I'll call Powder
>>
You can travel back in time 3 seconds, but you will only regain conscience after 5 seconds.
>>
>>568656808
I don't know why but this shit made me laugh.
Good job, anon
>>
The power to fly under water
>>
>>568656084
The ability to make your fingernails change color at will.
>>
>>568657354
>looking out window
>old people fucking outside
>opaque as fuck
>>
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The ability to be invisible but only in pitch darkness
>>
The ability to sing Ice Ice Baby in every modern language.
>>
The ability to smell Spaghetti-O's from 3 miles away, through the can. Can't actually locate the direction of origin, but can only confirm that it's somewhere within a 3 mile radius.
>>
The ability to turn into a nigga while you have to deal with police
>>
>>568661506
fuckin lol'd
>>
The ability to not rot after death.
>>
>>568657737
Bear Grylls would love you.
>>
>>568656084
the power to put a superhero suit on really fast (no other clothes)
>>
The ability to know what people are thinking, if they have Down's syndrome.
>>
>>568661226
see this post
>>568659547
you cant stay concious then time is frozen, so you won't even notice taht you just stopped time. you could stop time for millions of years and it would be like nothing happened.
>>
>>568662415
>invisible to cameras and animals with night vision
>profit
>>
>>568661506
Top kek
>>
>>568662530
>in desert
>smell them
>walk in and out of the smell radius until you are able to triangulate the position
>>
The ability to fly, but only while in an airplane.
>>
>>568656084

If you could charge any device it isn't useless.

>illogical

You mean logical.

And there's tons.

This thread is bad, and you should feel bad.
>>
>>568660932
So slightly below room temperature?
Sounds viable to me
>>
The ability to dont know what your power is...
I got that one
>>
The power to eat anything
But it never fills your hunger
>>
>>568661680
wut
>>
>>568662726
>some other idiot got shut down on a semantic

>implying implications
>>
>>568662846
kek
>>
The ability to know the size of a penis of a random person you saw every time you wake up, but you don't know who that person is, or what their dick looks like.
>>
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>>568661506
>>
>>568660941
>unlimited woodstove fuel
>>
The ability to make anything you drink taste like piss
>>
>>568662846
>become an astronaut
>don't have to spend money for zero-G training
>>
>>568662283
lol'd
>>
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>this thread
>>
>>568662906
Actually quite useful if you want to win millions of dollars as a professional speed eater.
>>
The ability to know the winning numbers of any lottery...after the ticker is bought, but before the numbers are announced. You don't know who has the winning ticker or where they are or anything.
>>
>>568662906
>implying that isn't my superpower
>>
The ability to make any girl super dry by touching them.
>>
>>568662887
>move to Norway, Syberia, Finland.
>rent a storage and keep it cold
>become piano tuner
>profit
>>
the ability to make nigger women attracted to you
>>
the ability to cum through condoms
>>
>>568656808
Would make a cool magic trick. Bitches would be impressed a little
>>
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>>568662835
>in desert
>spaghetti-os
>mfw
>aslo, dubs
>>
The ability to drag your anus around your body by hooking a finger in it and pulling.
>>
>>568663224
Many lotteries allow you to choose your own number. You could literally win several lotteries each week and just share the prize with a person each time.
>>
ability to plug butt plug in your ass, while sucking cock for a hobo
>>
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Any craic, lads?
>>
>>568658782
>Breathe a lot
>Breathe a LOT
>Fill entire world with carbon dioxide
>Everyone dies
>>
>>568663835
Nigga are you retarded
>>
The ability to turn yourself at will into an ugly woman
>>
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>>568656347
>>568656217

>OP challenging all of /b/ to a pissing match.

> being shocked when he loses
>>
The ability to permaban everybody who posts that fucking banana
>>
>>568656592
>Collect dryer lint at laundromat
>sell lint to people as candy
>??????
>Profit

Nigger, are YOU even trying?
>>
>>568657029
Yeah would still love to have this power
>>
the power of xray vision, flying, invincibility, invisibility, time travel, running/flying at the up to the speed of light (based on your preference), know what people are thinking, super strength, hypnotize people, eye lasers, move objects without touching, super intellect, and the ability to meta-morph into any inanimate object you wish.

But you're not a rapper.
>>
the ability to be birthed again, but your the same age, height, weight etc.
>>
>>568664040
most useful superpower ever
>>
>>568658162
I stopped time and shagged all the wimmins.
Think again, son.
>>
>>568659654
>Wallet gets stolen
>Steal money back
>Kek when they open empty wallet
>>
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>>568656808

10/10 useless power

gud jub anun
>>
>ability to plug butt plug in your ass, while sucking cock for a hobo

whats stoping you to do this?
>>
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>>568656887

Southpark did it
>>
the ability to turn a gold bar into an empty pen
>>
The ability to swap bodies with others, but your memories and personality are replaced with theirs, and vice versa. You believe that you have always been the person you swapped with.
>>
The ability to summon hordes of slugs
>>
The ability to eat a whole bottle of hot sauce without burning your mouth, but only while pissing
>>
>>568658356
Srsly?

You just described being psychic, an actual paid profession in some cases.
>>
>>568656084
The ability to like Nickelback
>>
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>>568664040
>begin permabanning bananafags
>they post through 8 proxies about how they got b& for posting banana
>massive backlast ensues, every thread is 100+ bananas
>sillybanana.jpg
>only the truly dedicated stay on /b/ to fight the bananawar
>/b/ is saved by banana
>mfw
>>
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>>568656084

ability to be universally respected and well-liked by all of /b/ for each and every post.
>>
>>568659558
Steal $0.01 from every po fag on earth. Profit.
>>
you can survive any trauma that would normally kill you, but go into a coma for the rest of your life instead.
>>
>>568660679
>Get job at money decommissioning plant
>Replace all machines
>Make $100 an hour
>Store money on credit card
>>
>>568664327
>swap with Bill Gates, Gaben, Elon Musk, etc.
For extra lulz gamble all your money away beforehand and/or develop an heroin addiction
>>
heal dead bodies in RPG's
>>
The ability to die without the use of a gun, knife, noose, etc.
>>
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Did a bad screencap compilation of this thread. Thought it might be funny later.
>>
>>568664040
So you're calling MOOT useless? (well, he kind of is since he hasn't already done this.)

>>568664319
You could ruin a country's gold supply with this. The North Korean government would love you to do this to Fort Knox. That could make you a lot of money.
>>
>>568664463
thats more of a curse, isnt it?
>>
The Midas Touch that instead destroys everything that you touch.
>>
The ability to see how many guys a woman has been with and what they look like just by looking at her.

This seems like it might be good but it would really be horrible.
>>
>>568660073
Not gibberish. Cheat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcUi6UEQh00
>>
>>568656808
Use as proof of magic and complete the randi challenge for one million dollars.

Git gud
>>
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>>568664675
10/10 useless superpower.
>>
>>568664716
it won't
>>
>>568664002
about to get raped, turn into ugly woman, nope
>>
The ability to become a nigger.
>>
>>568661660
>useless
wat
>>
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>>568664319
This would increase the value of gold.

Who has well-protected gold. The jews.

Zionist conspiracy confirmed.

>pic related, it's you
>>
>>568656381
can communicate nonverbally, be a written interpreter.
>>
The ability to glow for a few hours after snapping your own neck, like a glow stick.
>>
>>568664759
why the hell would i do anything for North Korea?
>>
>>568657180
Become world class swimmer gliding through water at incredible speed
>>
>>568665106
kek
>>
>>568662683
>The power to understand 4chan
>>
Ability to shit through your nose.
>>
>>568665106
Fucking lold so fucking hard what the fuck

I'm dying
>>
The ability to kill Moot but only if you die first, and it only works 2% of the time.
>>
>>568664880
I was gonna say this. Any power that other people notice is autonatically useful unless their minds are wiped after. Even then its useful
>>
>>568662678
useful if you want to be a superhero
>>
Glowing Stick Man:
You have the ability to glow for a few hours but only after snapping your own neck.
>>
The ability to stop time, [spolier]you included[/spoiler]
>>
>>568665135
Money.

>>568665051
Useful for getting through ghettos and getting discounts on tuition etc.
>>
>>568665267
Fucking retard
>>
>>568656887
accident investigator , assurance expert
>>
>>568665267
Let's team up, anon

>>568665106
>>
>>568661627
>attract to alleyway
>rape and kill
>>
The ability to turn milk into water at will
>>
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>>568656084

Ability to have 3 lives.

But they all must be /exactly/ the same.
>>
The power to turn into God
(So then you don't exist)
>>
the ability to spin really really fast
>>
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1. Ability to see through glass
2. Ability to change the time of all electronics within a 2 meter radius by one 10^-30 second
3. Ability to more than often mix up your right and left
4. Ability to fart out of mouth
5. Ability to give off a musk that lustfully attracts all retards to you within a 1 km radius.
>>
>>568658402
That would be so useful when mind reading becomes a thing
>>
>>568658105

he means the power is only in effect when you are under the age of 10 - so its useless now.
>>
>>568664696
>In POW camp
>Dont want to give information
>Taken in for torture
>Kill self for love of country
>>
>>568665574
Become the enemy of farmers and destory their cows.
>>
>>568665456
>assurance expert

"Ma'am, I may I comfort you by assuring you that this tragic accident could have been avoided if he just had kept his seatbelt on. That'll be 40$."

"Fuck off"
>>
The power.. to move you..
>>
>>568656813
Nigga that would help my marimba spreads
>>
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>>568664716

omg, can I save this picture? My facebook friends will surely get a "lol" out of this. LOL
>>
>>568663626
Yu cood finaly go fuk yurself
>>
the ability to slack 12% better that your average human on tuesday afternoons
>>
>>568661876
And then they became best friends forever.
The End.
>>
>>568665715
>innacoma/paralysis state
>use power to move again
>>
You can shoot invisble beams from your eyes that are completely harmless and undetectable.
>>
>>568665106
Revealing killers in darkness

>>568665051
Collect welfare

>>568665225
Scat fetishist-porn assistant. Out of shit? Just blow your nose.

>>568665234
2% to become famous by killing a famous person

>>568665308
Existing forever, ie. immortality for everyone even though nobody could observe such a feat

>>568665574
Do this at night in cow farms. Start selling water-milk cures to stop milk from turning into water. You're now a millionaire and a renowned scientist.

>>568665641
Painless suicide.

>>568665643
By spinning fast enough and being able to stay composed you could be your own centre of gravity, or atleast partially.

>>568665715
Bouncer.

>>568665879
Relaxation expert. Extra-relaxed classes during tuesday afternoons for those truly overwhelmed by work
>>
>>568656084
Dildos

>be OP
>be walking on the street
>decide to turn on all dildos within a radius of 20 miles
>enjoy chorus of moans starting at the same time from all over the city
>be featured on TV in the evening
>hacker 4chan strikes again
>>
>>568664716

in this itt i have never experienced memes like this
>>
The ability to gain extra chromosomes
>>
I want the ability to materialize a lamp. Once.
>>
>>568665865

haha, it's all yours!
>>
>>568665106
>In dark cave with waifu
>Cant see way out
>Going to die cause cant find way out
>Kill self for ultimate love of waifu
>Waifu finds exit from your dead light
>>
The ability to get a hot gf of your choice at any time, but she dies after 3 years.
>>
the ability to change your eye color, but only when they are closed
they become normal when you open them
>>
>>568663626
Couls therefore shit through your finger without leaving puter. Cool.
>>
>>568664553
This site gets a lot of traffic. You could start a political movement, organize a raid, stage a mass suicide, create a weird news event by having 69 people try to blow themselves on 06/09 and end up in the hospital.
>>
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>>568665949

ability to have sex with any woman, but you are raging homosexual who gets PTSD from heterosexual encounters, costing in therapy, more than you could make from prostitution or porn
>>
>>568663490
>bitches would be impressed a little

kek'd
>>
>>568666106

just keep renewing
>>
>>568666106
>hot gf each 3 years
>noice
>>
>>568666135

You're only well liked. Not followed religiously.

captcha: idhdat curiosity
>>
>>568660932
Nigga you call this useless?
>Keep special room at desired temperature
>Keep piano close to entrance of said room
>Beethoven that shit
>>
Bendy dick
>>
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>>568666182

ability to have endless supply of reddit-gold you can only use yourself
>>
>>568665865
kill self pls
>>
>>568663043
Kek
>>
>>568666019
You weren't just pretending to be retarded.

>>568666037
THE APOCALYPSE IS HERE. ALL ELECTRONICS HAVE BEEN DESTROYED AND THE WORLD IS IN DARKNESS. You now have the only lamp made of human technology in existence.

>>568666120
Replace your eyelids with see-through plastic material. Amaze people with your eyemagix

>>568666106
Short-term relation ships yo. take debt in their name, they die, you get to keep the dosh. Or atleast 50% of it.

>>568666175
Write a bestseller. "The homosexual man with severe post-traumatic stress disorder who can't afford to fuck every woman even though he could"

>>568666445
Fuck people around corners or from under/over bathroom stalls. Or go into gymnastics pornography
>>
>>568660932
assuming Fahrenheit, yep fucking useless. Unless you live in the north halve of the northern hemisphere.
>>
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>>568665641
>>
>>568666418
How the fuck would a well tune piano do that? His only power is to tune them, not play them (and when they are moved back to room temperature they go out of tune automatically).
>>
The ability to fly, but only when you're not in the air
>>
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>>568661006
You're a moron. Just abandon thread and kill yourself while you can
>>
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>>568666052

thks anonymoose. You're not a bad guy at all, like the news guy sed.
>>
>>568660369
still pointless
>>
The ability to figure out how the yramids were built, but you'll spontaneously combust if you try to tell anybody
>>
>>568666608
>20?C
>Assuming fahrenheit
wat?
>>
>>568666597
No im not saying stretchy dick im just saying a dick thats able to bend
>>
>>568656084
Every shit you take, you dont have to whipe
>>
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>>568666763
pyramids*
>>
>>568666450
the fuck is reddit-gold?
>>
>>568664002
Hang around ladies locker rooms and not get arrested. Sounds good.
Also, get with fit lesbians. There's always one pretty one and one pig, Cool.
>>
>>568666763
Then it wouldn't be spontaneous
>>
>>568665646
>Ability to more than often mix up your right and left
only this one is good
>>
>>568666597

you are quite the optimist. im sure you must be handicap or something.
>>
>>568666763
>write book about it, but release it after death
>>
>>568665267
i laughed
>>
The ability to make toothbrushes smell like ass.
>>
>>568656084
The ability to pinpoint the mental weakness of every 7 year old
>>
>>568666864
Like 4chan gold but worse
>>
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>>568666608
>20°C.
>Fahrenheit

>C
>F
see image

>>568666663
Fly through viscuous fluids or in vacuum

>>568666820
Blowjobs from the side.

>>568666997
The ability to come up with stupid-ass uses for near useless super powers

>>568667065
Walk through a store or a dentist's office. Smell of ass packaged everywhere
>>
>>568657180
Aqua Man
>>
>>568667042
You'd still die though
I suck at these
>>
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Eternal life, but you can only interact with the universe through /b/.

Since /b/ is not eternal, your existence will simply loop from start of /b/ to the end.

Again, the ONLY way can only interact with universe is through /b/. (So yes, if you made up some scheme to make $$$, you could only spend it on 4chim pass, and only after m00t creates it, which is obv quit a bit into it's life. People can buy stuff for you, but you could only interact with those things through /b/ as well..)

Find a fault: protip, you can't, it's utterly worthelss
>>
>>568665692
I like you.
>>
The ability to save it, but only when it's yours my friend.
>>
>>568660417
>Implying time is independent of the perceiving of time.
>Implying the "seer" and "seen" are different
>>
>>568656084
The ability to turn into a sandwich at will
>>
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the power to turn everything you touch into skittles
>>
>>568666635
>Never said it gets untuned after temperature raises

Sorry, forgot I was talking to an uneducated nigger who doesn't know how to play the piano without superpowers.
>>
the ability to summon hordes of angry wasps, but they only attack you and they don't bother anyone else. They cannot kill you.
>>
the ability to turn any inanimate object not part of you into gold while you're alive but only while you are floating naked through the empty vaccum of space
>>
The ability to know anything you want, but the curse of forgetting it any time you need it.
>>
>>568660679
>Become communist superhero
>>
>>568667768
what is writing everything down?
>>
>>568667309
>you could only spend it on 4chim pass
if so, I have access to paypal\bitcoin network
I can use it to communicate with other part of universe
And if someone write gateway for bitcoin network, I would be able to communicate with all internets through bitcoin network.
>>
>>568667224
>worse than 4chan gold

So, like, it only removes some of the capchas?
So, if it removes 25% of the capchas, and I bought two subscriptions, would it remove 50%, or 25%, plus 25% of that 25%?
>>
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>>568667875
>gateway for bitcoin network
I mean
tcp -> bitcoin -> tcp gateway
>>
>>568665715
Thank you wonderboy
>>
>>568667619
So I'm guessing you don't know how to play? Because if you did, you would also know that temperature changes cause the strings to change length, so that it goes out of tune.

>hurrr duurr ur stupud
>Is actually stupid himself
>>
>>568657624
Holyshitballs! This had me at the edge of my seat.
>>
>>568662173
You could use this to propel yourself forward in time
>Lie in bed
>each use of power is like propelling forward 2 seconds.
>>
>>568668123
>What ability did I have again?
>>
The ability to explain every joke you hear
>>
>>568667309

>eternal life
>only interact through /b/

So pretty much my current existence except I don't have to shit/piss/eat/sleep and get to live forever?

Okay.
>>
>>568667875

three reasons you're wrong:

1. No, because the only rule, the one that apparently you forgot, is that you cannot interact with the universe except through /b/

2. and you don't have access to anything directly.. except /b/. So someone else would have to have accessto the network

3. Assuming the above were proven not relevant, fine, you can communicate with all internets through bitcoin network, but again, you can only ineract through /b/ so your communication will have to be second hand at best. And anything you spend the money on, well, you can only interact with that through /b/ too,

Get rekt, son.
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Thread images: 40
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