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Sub b… So my best online friend of 4 years...
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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Sub b… So my best online friend of 4 years turned out to be a grill, only found out shortly after christmas when she turned up on my doorstep.

Grew up with 4 older brothers and just wanted to be treated like on of the dudes, used a voice masker I assumed because whiney teen voice. Planned to stay at mine for few weeks while looking for job/apartment for uni, was expecting dude… not grill…

Anyway she ended up moving in and I became her first at pretty much everything sexual. Wrote it all down at the time and recently decided to go back and edit into greentextable story, interested?

>pic slightly related, she looks similar but no injun
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>>565577023
proceed.jpeg
>>
Go on, OP.
>>
>be fresh out of school, young apprentice, get treated like shit, escape through vidya
>playing wow, hook up with friendly social guild
>4 brothers run guild, all older than me, coolest down to earth blokes you will ever meet
>one day they introduce new underage member (guild is 18+), says its youngest bro, only about 14 so like 8 year age gap between youngest bro and second youngestbro
>yourdadisafuckingmachinelol
>guildmasterbro says don’t worry about age, youngestbro is mad cool, welcome him like family
>4 older bros all refer to youngestbro as button, no idea how he got that nickname… but it sticks with rest of the guild
>button uses voice masker to hide prepubescent voice, annoying as fuck but whatever
>button is fucking pro pvp, I hate pvp coz im pussy
>surfer, and volunteer lifeguard, I look decent, in shape and do well with girls, but deff beta… to much of a fucking push over… never been in fight, hate conflict
>I play resto druid, button plays gnome warrior, always calls me a dress wearing faggot
>drags me into pvp and has me just follow him around
>mfw when I am called a faggot and bossed around by a dude 6 years younger then
>fml
>button is total badass though so don’t mind, super down to earth, wont hesitate to call anybody out on there bullshit and doesn’t afraid of anything
>skip forward 4 years and we are in a serious bromance, we do everything together online
>play all sorts of games, bf3 in particular, I pilot, button guns in chopper, best times of my life
>would take a bullet for this guy, im an only child, mum and dad split up shortly after I left home, rarely talk to them anymore so basicly alone
>>
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>>565577263

> button treats me like a legit blood brother… always ragging on me but in tough love way, same way the older bros would do with each other
>still uses voice masker but don’t even notice coz it would be weird if didn’t
>always calls me a faggot, practically my nickname by now
>by this stage I have finished my apprenticeship, quit my job and now studying at uni
>button has been busy with end of school exams recently so have had a chance to play much in a few months
>get email after Christmas from button…

Dear faggot,
I got accepted into donkeydick University! (same university as me) I start semester 1 in feb and need to find accommodation. I have checked out apartments and units but there is no way I can afford the rent until I find part time work, if only I was a faggot like you and could just whore my arse out on the corner each afternoon… don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody your secret. Anyway need place to crash until I can until I can get my shit together and find a job. What is your address?
Button
>>
>>565577330

>completely mixed feelings
>on one hand button and I are genuinely best mates and I owe it to him to help him out, has always been there when I needed I’m over the last 4 years and is like a brother to me, albeit a young and cocky one
>on other hand I like my privacy and I live in studio apartment so things could get awkward
legitnohomobro.oog
>just had another breakup pretty recently, feeling pretty fucking bummed out
>but this is about third serious relationship breakup so by now I almost don’t even give a fuck anymore, just hit the piss and play vidya
>button is always there for me when breakup, calls me faggot twice as much but always manages to pull me out of my sorry miserable state
>feeling kinda lonely, pizza and some good old fashioned split screen gaming could be fun
>don’t even know what button looks like… fuck haven’t even ever heard unmasked voice… still not sure if good idea
>so much conflict, decide that best bro is best bro and should always help out bro
>figure that he can stay for a while until he gets a job, I’m thinking couple of weeks tops
>kinda interested to meet him I guess, but worried it might change the friendship, hopefully for better at least
>LOLIFONLYIKNEW.pdf
>email button back explaining that its ok to crash at mine for few weeks until gets shit sorted but needs to at least contribute a bit of cash towards food and stuff
>button replies with… “It wasn’t a question you niggerfaggot. What’s your address, I’ll be there next friday”
>niggerfaggot… that’s a new one
>kinda pissed off at his comment but I know that’s just how button is, and that niggerfaggot basically means “thanks anon”
>decide to be a cunt back, email address of an adult shop about a block away along with mobile number INCASE there are any problems… hue hue hue
>I know, fucking lamest prank ever but meh it was all I could think off at time
>>
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>>565577426

Im not the best writer... so its a mix of past and present tence, 1st and 3rd person

>friday comes, feeling anxious about what to expect
>receive txt around 6pm, as expected, lots of f bombs, c words and paragraph about being the worlds biggest faggot and that he asked for my actual address, not my dream home with endless supply of buttplugs…
>send real address
>go back to watching anime
>15 minutes later hear knock at door

I will never ever EVER forget this next moment. I can still picture it as clear as fucking day in my mind. So much fucking confuss…
>open door, and no… no fucking dinosaur
>standing before me is an absolute fucking 10/10 grill
>the very definition of gorgeous
>she is short about a head shorter then me, maybe a little taller than my shoulder, very dark brown hair/almost black, flawless skin, big deep fucking dark brown eyes and a ‘not happy’ expression
>but those brown eyes could melt butter through 4inches of solid lead
>I’m talking some god tier shit right here, these eye’s could cure erectile dysfunctionalty in a 120 year old chinese man that lost is penis back in WW2
>to top it all off she is wearing those tight black yoga pants that (thank the lord himself) are in fashion and baggyish dark blue hoodie with little ears on top, panda ears or maybe mouse ears I don’t have a clue… this is all happening in seconds but its burnt into my retinas for life
>after 3 or 4 seconds of awkward beta staring I suddenly become very aware of the retarded ugo kawaii screaming noises coming from the anime I had playing
>can of spaghetti bursts open inside of my pantry
>nothing could prepare me for the jacki-chan bullshit that went down next
>>
>>565577568

>i begin to speak “can I hel…
>before I even finish speaking she socks me in the square in the gut, completely knocking the wind out of me
>I double over, pretty sure one of my lungs just collapsed
>girl says “hey faggot” in the most casual of tones
liverbeginstoshutdown.mov
>girl walks straight past me dragging a medium sized black travel suitcase behind her
>brain is still midway through reboot sequence
windows98startupnoise.midi
>I turn around to face the girl, who has settled her suitcase against my sofa and is now studying me on the floor while my organs haemorrhage internally
>she looks at me, no emotion on her face like some sort of femanazi death robot
>”bet you regret sending me to the wrong address now don’t you?”
>”button!?” I stutter at her as my lungs recover from brucelee death punch
>she turns towards me, “surprise” she exclaims in an exaggeratedly enthusiastic tone
200lbsofhowandwhat.zip
>so many questions, my brain feels like a downy on cocaine; firing really quickly, but not quite in sync
>some things click kinda quickly though, particularly the voice masking all these years
>“Why?”
>”because you made me drag that suitcase 2 blocks further then I needed to”
>well I figured that part, “I ment why aren’t you a dude!!!???”
>”I still might be” she retorts dryly
>I cant help but to glance at her crotch, checking for bulge… if she/he is trap then its best trap I have ever seen, pretty confident its not not trap though,
>“why pretend to be one?” addressing the elephant in the room directly
>>
>>565577712
getting some shitty captchas

>“Why do you think? You browse 4chan, you know what the internet is like” she says flatly, “Easier to just be another one of the bros then have to deal with all the ‘hurrdurrtitsorgtfo’ bullshit”
>solid logic, kinda understand but doesn’t stop me from feeling like I’ve been lied to… in the best possible way?
>besides, brothers introduced her to guild all those years ago, obviously knew. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was their idea, kind of a protective thing maybe
>decide to finally turn off the anime that I had playing, feel slightly more masculine now that “NOTICE ME SENPAI” isn’t being screamed every 10 seconds
>so far I have been completely caught off guard, I try to regain some control of this crazy-in-the-best-way situation “would’ve been nice if you dropped this on me a couple of years ago”
>“and if I had of, do you honestly think that nothing would’ve changed between us?”
>“ofcour…”
>she cuts me off again, “bullshit anon and you know it”
>by this point brain has now ditched the coked up downy and is functioning normally which means I’m starting realise some things, namely that for the last four years I have been playing with and swapping all my secrets with a grill
>my head is starting to resemble an angsty teenage drama with phrases like ‘do I even know you?’ and ‘how could you do this to me’ floating around
>in the end I decide that the best course of action is to just calm the fuck down
>I consider myself pretty down to earth, and so without asking to much I can understand why she might do something like this… I think what gets me more is that she/he never told me and left it until now
thingscouldbemuchworse.flacc
>after all my best friend has turned out to be badass, no bullshit but oh so delicious just legal girl straight out of a fucking YFYL thread
>instantly regret (kind of) having that thought, as it basically proved her point
>>
>>565577869
suddenly feel like idiot posting all this...

>she is right though, this does change things and not just how I view her… this changes everything
>“ok so what now?” I ask in as bluntly as possible while staring directly at her wagyu grade perfectly marbled ass as she browses through my kitchen
>“well you fridge is practically empty and all I can find in your pantry is fucking 2minute noodles” she says as she closes the pantry door and turns around to face me from the other side of the room
thankgodshedidntseethespaghetti.ini
>try as hard as I can to scope out her tits via peripheral vision but hoodie is to thick and all I decide on is ‘medium’
>she looks me right in the eyes, no real expression on her face… just a kind of neutral, half expecting, maybe-deep-in-thought stare
>oh god… those eyes!!!
>“we can order pizza? Or would you prefer stand here some more and keep undressing me with your eyes”
>spaghettiforminginpockets.mp3
> yep it’s definitely no-bullshit-button and if I don’t do some fucking damage control pronto then I’m going to be eating spaghetti for weeks
>I try to think of the wittiest thing possible
>”I can’t decide if you’re a B cup or a C up” I remark as I raise an eyebrow
>hope I didn’t just add a healthy serving of meatballs
>button looks at me for a bit and then gives me an honest smile before walking over to my computer, sitting in my chair and pulling up pizzahuts online ordering
>thinkinaileditmaybe.rar
>I go and sit on my couch just across from her
>>
>>565578028

>fucking big couch btw
> try to make some small talk, “do your brothers know about all this? Staying here?”
>“ofcourse”
>“and they were ok with it?”
>button lets out a frustrated sigh and turns to say something but I interject before she has a chance “yeah ok, you’re not a princess…”
>she cuts me off, “I’m your best friend anon” she says while entering in my address details for delivery
>”except now you have a pair of tits” I add swiftly
>”I always had tits…”
>”yeah but I didn’t know about them”
>trying to gauge her responses, don’t want to overstep myself
>definitely a lot of tension in the air, still a lot of questions
>button turns to me with a look of sarcastic curiosity, “and how does that make you feel now anon?”
>no turning back now… might as well go all in, “confused and excited at the same time”
>she smirks at me, “pepperoni or ham and cheese?”
>”pepperoni” I respond, still cautious… and still scoping her out… trying to remind myself that I’m about 5 years this girls elder and she is walking all over me…
>maybe less has changed then I thought
>”you atleast acknowledge that this is going to take me a little bit of getting use to… and that I’m going to have some questions?”
>button finishes up with the order and spins around the chair to face me, she is slumps back in it, looking quite impassive to the whole situation, “yeah I figured as much, but try not to overthink things… I liked the way you treated me as a best mate, I didn’t want that to change, my brothers treat my like I’m made of glass no matter how much I try to prove them otherwise, I never had that problem with you and that’s why I just kept up with it…”
>if this is the button I know, then that is about as close as I will ever get to an apology
>>
Don't, i'm here op.
>>
>>565578117

is anybody reading? want me to keep going with this?
>>
im lurking too
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>>565578206
im reading nigga
>>
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>>565578157

no worries bro, glad somebody is enjoying it... spent ages writing this all out for you guys, also here is my shitty pic of apartment for refrence

>bit of a pause as I mull over what she has said, half of me still wants to be angry and say hurtfull things but the sensible side of me can understand exactly what she’s talking about
>I’m trying to convince myself I wouldn’t have thought about her any differently, or treated her differently, or talked to her differently… but I know would’ve
>I can see button studying me out of the corner of my eye as I try to deal with all of this in my head, like I said I’m a reserved sort of person
>awkward silence
>button fidgets a bit before hopping off the chair and walking to her suitcase “I’ve been on that countrylink train for nearly 13 hours and I really need a shower” she remarks
>I still have deep thought face on and haven’t replied to what she said yet, seems to be working…
>if only she knew my mind went blank the moment she mentioned shower
mustkeepupperhand.flv
>”say something faggot…” she snaps
>oh shit the jig is up
>I say the first thing that comes to mind, “the bathroom door has no lock” I remark dryly (it really doesn’t)
>she takes some stuff out of her suitcase and then looks up at me and says in the most genuine tone ever, “I trust you, faggot” before walking into the bathroom and pulling the door shut
>stare at buttons ass the entire way in, like two overweight kittens stuffed into a silken bag
>godamnit I should’ve fapped before she got here
>realise before she got her, she was a he
>fapping before he got her would’ve been kinda gay
>but he is a she
>fucking brain hurts, still so much what
>suddenly very aware of how I look and smell… fuck, should’ve brushed my teeth… walk over to dresser next to bed and put on some good CK cologne, deodorant is in bathroom so this will do
>>
Lurking hard
>>
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>>565578314

kinda what my place looks like... but nowhere near as cool, i would post real pics but i been here long enough to know better

>20 minutes later button is still in shower
>start thinking about what she is doing in there
soapyboobies.tif
>penis starts counting down until liftoff, destination: low orbit
>hear knocking on door
>MISSION ABORT! MISSION ABORT!
>take time getting to door to allow for de-erectification of Apollo 69
>apparently button paid for pizza online, thankgod coz I had no cash on me
>guy pulls out two bottles of mtn dew, any lingering feelings of anger are immediately washed away at the site of them
>damn her… she knows me to well
>taking pizza and bottles of lifeblood to coffee table when button comes out of the bathroom drying her hair with my towel
spaghettipizza.m2ts
>she is now wearing a… fuck how do I describe it… it looks like a reeeaaallly long grey shirt, comes maybe 2/3 down her silky smooth looking thighs
>its reasonably tight at the top and kinda loose at the bottom, definitely just meant as a comfy unflattering casual house wear sort of thing (I think? Fucked if I know a thing about female fashion) despite its bland appearance, she looks stupidly pretty in it
>COUNTDOWN RE-INITIATED, new destination: high orbit
>can’t decide if its genuinely just comfortable or if she knows how good she looks in it and she is wearing it deliberately
>quickly place pizza on table and sit down to hide potential trouser python
>“where are the cups anon?” button is scanning the kitchen
> “top shelf next to the fridge”
whathaveidone.ronpaul
>>
>>565578337
suh hard beb
>>
>>565578206
I have lurkemia, don't stop or I'll die.
>>
Lurking very hard over here
>>
>>565578508
I dont feel sorry for you, good thread to lurk

>>565578451

>cups could have been in bottom cupboard… why were the cups not in the bottom fucking cupboard
>completely missed datass opportunity
>button is so short she has to get on tip toes just to reach the cups
>might as well make the most of the moment
>shirtdress is just tight enough to reveal beautiful hourglass figure, waist looks like back to front brackets… can’t see that defined ass anymore because no more yoga pants, but I took a screenshot earlier so I can put them all together mentally
>if women were food and models were the equivalent of an artfully plated meal from an upper class restaurant, then button would be a healthy serving of your moms favourite homecooked meal
>I’ve dated some rather nice girls previously but button is in a league of her own… she must know it to
>come to think of it, there is no way this girl would not be getting hit on left right and fucking centre
>suddenly understand even more why she preferred to just be treated as one of the boys, she could tell an entire battalion of white knights to cut there penises off and they wouldn’t even hesitate
>instantly start feeling like a complete fucking douche for getting all ‘hurrdurrmahdick” and eye fucking her every time she turns around her… this is exactly the reason she was a he up until tonight
>button notices something is up as she sits on the couch and places glasses on coffee table, “...is everything ok, anon?”
>feels nice when she calls me by my name and not faggot
>I’m absolutely torn about this entire situation
>”I need a cold shower” I utter under my breath but loud enough so she hears it
>button not stupid, I know she gets my meaning
>keep staring at pizza box
>dat silence
>>
>>565578451
pls don stop op pls
>>
>>565578451
pls cont
>>
>>565578553
wait till i get to the good stuff...

>>565578608

>button finally button speaks up, “I’ve known you for more then 3 years anon, spent most of my free time with you online and not once in that time did you ever hesitate to tell me exactly how you felt or what was on your mind”
>godamn button… always cutting through the bullshit
>”and now you find out I don’t have a cock and you get all cautious and hold things back”
>I think about what she said for a second before formulating a response
>”are you that disappointed I don’t have a dick?” she mocks
>ignore her stab at my manilness
>feels mode engaged
>”I feel like I know two different people, one I’ve known for years and is my best mate, feel super comfortable around them… the other I just met and is ridiculously boner inducing attractive... I feel different about each of them, but they are both the same person and I’m having trouble putting the two together and dealing with all this conflicting feel”
NAILED IT.bat
>still staring at spaghetti box, button doesn’t talk, must be totally moved by my statement
>feels like moment out of anime, start expecting cherry blossom leaves to blow by in an exaggerated gust of wind from nowhere
>button lets out a snort of laughter before throwing her hands to her mouth
>break beta box stare and look sideways at her kinda puzzled
>button bursts out laughing, “that is the gayest thing I have ever heard!!! “
>she hurls one of the couch pillows at me (I don’t know what else to call them? The little decorative ones with no purpose) and hits me square in the head
>button falls backwards on the couch overcome with laughter
>”no seriously… that was awesome… there’s no doubting it now, I know exactly what’s wrong with you!”
>prepare myself to be called a faggot
>>
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>>565578710

>button struggles to control herself and sits back up right and tries to put on serious face,“your definitely a faggot anon!” she barely gets the words out before she bursts out laughing again
>“fuck you” I snap at her
>“apparently I’m not your type”, more laughing
>start hurling a couple of pillows at her, can’t tell if I’m mad or relieved
>button calms down after bit, “but I kinda get what your trying to say” finaly she is being serious, “drop the sob story and just say it how it is, I wear big girl pants, I can take it”
>buttons right, things have changed, but a lot of things are still the same
>“don’t over think things… just tell me what’s really on your mind and don’t sugar coat it like a little faggot this time”
>”you barely reach my should…” I try to defend my masculinity before she cuts me off
>”don’t change the subject”
>so many things… where to begin…
>think for a moment before taking a deep breath…
>“… your ass is incredible, what were you doing in the shower? do you know how hot that dress makes you look, by the way are you wearing panties underneath?… oh and how big are your boobs” I let it all out in one long stream
>button doesn’t even hesitate to respond, “it’s my favourite feature; apparently your favourite as well, I was shaving in the shower; didn’t get a chance before I left, that’s what I was going for; it’s just a bonus that its comfortable, yes I am and 34b”
>wasnotexpectinganswers.wmv
>I never truly understood the Gusta face meme until this moment
>“any other questions? The pizza is getting cold anon…” she is enjoying my reaction to her honest answers
>trying to figure out how many of those answers were button just baiting me
>shavingwhat?
>>
>>565578935

>even if some of the answers weren’t serious, I felt like a HUGE chunk of tension had been relieved, clearly she was comfortable with me checking her out and eye off her many assets
>I decide to try casting some of my own bait, “your ass might be incredible but it’s not my favourite feature…”
>insert smug smile
>button is now lying on her stomach at the other end of the couch, the bottom bit of the L shape going to town on a slice of pepperoni pizza
>she looks over at me, takes her time finishing her mouthful of pizza and then says “I swear to god anon if you say my eyes I will personally engrave ‘The biggest faggot that ever lived’ on your tombstone right after the ‘Here lies anon” part…”
>probably should’ve seen that one coming
>”yeah ok it’s your ass”

>next few hours were relatively uneventful but much more relaxed, we argued over which movie to watch; I wanted Aion Flux because haven’t watched in forever
>button wanted Star Trek: Into Darkness because apparently bendy cucumber makes her moist
>needless to say we watched Star Trek
>we spent most of movie just calling bullshit on physics or space related stuff though
>although we both agree that space movies would be kinda boring if they did actually have no sounds during the space battles
>tried to see who could do longest burp using the mtn dew, atleast I won that…
>still got called a faggot though
>after movie I notice button is yawning a lot, has been on train since early morning so I set the couch up as bed
>button doesn’t hesitate and gets into couchbed, not sure how comfortable it will be but decide its wrong moment to offer to sleep in my bed with me… believe me thought crossed my mind but I knew it would’ve been wrong move
>my bed is maybe 3 meters from couch (about 10ft for you fucking imperial faggots)
>I usually sleep naked but gunna have to keep briefs on for now
>>
>>565578710
Lurking so fucking hard op. I will an hero if this ends with everyone walking the dinosaur.
>>
>>565577023
This is the most bullshit I have ever seen outside of a rodeo. Your story is shit and everyone knows it. Kill yourself you fucking faggot
>>
>>565578710
>"That is the gayest thing I have ever heard!!!"

My thoughts when dear diary
>>
>>565579041

swear on my faggot that I will not dino this shit...

>>565579038

>deliberately take off shirt and pants while light is on, figure id gauge reaction
>head to turn light off and glance at her
>button lying on tummy on couch, arms folded out infront of her, chin resting on hands looking directly at me with an intrigued sort of smile, not even trying to fucking hide it either
>I pause as I’m about to turn off light and look at her, nothing but a sheet draped over her outlining her curvy figure
>those big brown eyes… so much want… just looking at each other for what felt like forever but was probably 3.33 (repeating ofcourse) seconds
>button suddenly breaks the silence, “oh no don’t tell me… you’re afraid of the dark?” she says with feigned concern and unintentionally boner inducing cute frowny face
>fuck you button… fuck you
>turn light off and hop into bed
>tell her she’s a cunt
>”at least I’m not a faggot”
>we starting talking about random shit, mostly fun moments we had in BF2 when piloting the chopper
>must be because light is off but feel like I’m talking to my best friend again finally, makes me happy
>think about sharing my heartwarming feelings on this but figure I will get called a faggot again
>conversation dies down, button starting to sound sleepy
>now or never, “why were you going for hot?... with what you were wearing”
>bit of a pause
>>
It shouldn't take this much green text to explain an easy story, OP. This ends up being walking the dinosaur or some stupid shit.
>>
>>565579250

or... i just wanted to share a decent ass story with you guys.

>>565579213

>”same reason you suddenly had cologne on when I got out of the shower”
>button is never usually this indirect with answers, can’t figure if its because she’s tired, she’s shy or it’s her idea of fun
>besides I’m too tired for riddles, ”I don’t think your shirtdress thing made you smell any better” I reply sarcastically
>”I wanted you to notice me… dickhead” she calmly retorts
>well now I just have no idea what’s going on, ”you were far less confusing when you were a boy”
>”so you really are a faggot? Fucking knew it, all that anal talk…”
>”yup, you got me, words cannot describe my disappointment when you turned out to be a girl, I was looking forward to ravaging some cute boy ass” i reply dryly
>short pause
>”I could always put my hair up, spray on some of that manly cologne of yours and you could just pretend I’m a cute little boy?” button jests back in a half asleep voice
>I just broke the record for fastest tent pitch in history
>”That’s what best friends are for right?” she adds
>another short pause
>“…I have the most confusing boner right now” I eventually reply
>”what’s confusing about it”, she definitely falling asleep
>”I’m not sure if it’s for boy you or girl you”
notevenjoking.bik
>button gives a tired chuckle at my conundrum despite the fact I did not think it was a laughing matter, she then proceeded to call me a faggot one last time just for good measure before rolling over to sleep
>I stayed up for another hour or so thinking about how glorious it would be to go balls deep in her ass and bust this king kong load I was nursing in my yoghurt factories
>fell asleep cradling my boner
>fuck you button…
>>
go on bro.
>>
>>565579338

>woke up around 5:30am next day, still cradling my boner
>saturday, so I’m free to sleep in, but first need to take morning piss
>button still asleep on couchbed curled up in fetal position with a mass of fucking dark brown hair splayed everywhere
>about a 89 on the canihazcheezeburger scale of cuteness
>mental image forms of button on her knees, hair tied up and begging for me to ravage her ass
>bad idea… now I have to do the awkward morning wood piss stance
>finish awkward piss and load now semi hard morning wood back into briefs
>fyi I’m about 20cm (8in) when rock hard, nice and girthy so not massive but I’m very comfortable what I have… wouldn’t change anything honestly
>as I walk out of the toilet I notice button is looking at me through half opened eyes, dark brown hair still fucking everywhere
> “sorry, didn’t mean to wake you”
>she just looks at me… pretty sure she is trying to telepathically call me a faggot
>eyes scroll down to my semi hard 8in mutton dagger stuffed inside my briefs
>her eyes go wide
>I can’t help but grin at her
>pair if black sunglasses float down out of nowhere
>dealwithit.gif
>>
bump. halfway through and this shit is awesome. hope someone saves this
>>
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>>565579442

>hop back in bed and wonder what the fuck I should do now, too happy to go back to sleep
>5 minutes go by, starting to get drowsy again when suddenly hear button throw back her covers and hop out of bed
>she walks over to my bed, just out of arms reach of me and then looks me straight in the eyes, completely neutral expression on her face
>puts her hands up and starts fucking with her hair, gathering it all up and shit, brushing it over her shoulders all while looking me dead in the eye… not even fucking flinching
>I can’t figure if she is preparing to rape me or knock me fucking unconscious… with those big brown eyes looking at me I don’t think I mind either way
>she uses one of the black elastic things she has on her wrists to hold her hair up
>brain starts to put things into place
>another can of spaghetti bursts open in my pantry
>OH SHIT IS THIS REALLY GUNNA HAPPEN!!!!??... she must have grabed a condom from her suitcase… or maybe lube… MAYBE BOTH?!
>my eyes light up like a protesting Buddhist monk
>when she sees this she smiles at me and raises an eyebrow, finishes with her hair, turns around and then lifts up her shirtdress
zeldachestopeningmusic.mp3
>button blesses me with a view of the 8th wonder of the world… the most perfectly toned, luscious and shapely ass that any man could ever imagine, garnished in a high rising pair of lacy red knickers
>just enough morning light coming in through windows to make out the finest coating of butt fuzz
>truly b… it was glorious… forget dragging your balls through mile of broken glass… fuck the fart and the walkie talkie…
>I would drag my balls through 10 kilometers of piranha infest waters just so I could smell the shit of the bartender who made eye contact with the nurse that held the hand of the mother that gave birth to such a perfect ass
>>
>>565579539
incase you hadnt notice... pictures are just random ones that i figured would suit

>but just as soon as it was lifted, the curtain was lowered and it vanished again. Thy lord giveth and thy lord taketh away
>button glances back to check if it had the desired effect
>I’m trying to give her my best “DO WANT” expression possible
>button simply walks away
>”not cool button… not cool” I call out after her
>”you started it anon, don’t pick a fight if you don’t think you can win it, I thought I taught you that in back in Arathi Basin”
>this isn’t a fight… this is a fucking opportunity…
>I know button isn’t stupid, she knows full well that I’m going to try and one up her at some point
>I have a feeling our friendship is undergoing some major shifts, after yesterday’s events things have to change anyway
>finaly understand where button was coming from with the whole ‘don’t over think it’ thing, just go with the flow, things will sort them self out in time
>just need to keep my cool about it and not spaghetti everywhere
>decide I’m already over thinking it again and try to just get another hour or so of sleep
>can’t stop thinking about ass
>remember I had some sort of weird dream when I went back to sleep, can’t remember what it was now but I know it wasn’t sexual…
>wake up to smell of instant coffee
>button is sitting at my computer browsing something
>must have just finished shower, hair is wet
>>
>I would drag my balls through 10 kilometers of piranha infest waters just so I could smell the shit of the bartender who made eye contact with the nurse that held the hand of the mother that gave birth to such a perfect ass

eehhh, wtf lol.
>>
>>565579442
im hooked op
>>
>>565579646

>all I can tell about what shes wearing is blue shirt and possibly yoga tights
pleaseletthembeyogatights.boner
>battle station is on other side of room so can only see the back
>get out of bed and pull on favourite ‘stay indoors gaming pants’, there just kinda loose trackies made out of t-shirt material
>put on baggy T that I got from company when I quit, generic XL handout, way to big but comfy for around the house
>head to bathroom to have shower
>I sarcastically thank button for the non-existent coffee she made me
>”your welcome faggot… oh and I did you another favour and used up all the hot water” she calmly replies while staring at the screen (turned out to be job searching btw)
>youfuckingdidwhat?
>button turns to me and smiles, “I figured you were in dire need of a cold shower by now”
>”some friend you are” I try to make it as hurtful as possible
>close door and turn shower on… perfectly hot water, button was just fucking with me
>godamnit
>ohwell more important things to take care off… I need to tug a load or else I won’t be able to think straight while sitting in the same room as her
>normally id just sit at computer, but well… sitting on toilet seat will have to do
>shower is on to cover any noise
>absolutely rock hard by now, still thinking of buttons perfect ass
>get about 3 tugs in before I realise I’m facing the bathroom door and it doesn’t lock
>no way, she would’nt… wait, she probably would… maybe?
>would it be good if she did?
>would me sitting on the toilet jerking off really be a wonderful sight? Or a sorry one… probably the latter now that I think about it
>>
>>565579338
>”yup, you got me, words cannot describe my disappointment when you turned out to be a girl, I was looking forward to ravaging some cute boy ass”
epic lulz there
>>
>>565579750

>btw I can’t jerk in shower, I’m cutfag and I don’t know why, but the water everywhere just makes me lose whatever sensation I have left in my poor old knob
>so here I am sitting on the toilet with a semi, debating with myself on if I should fap or not
>sudden moment of clarity
>button and I have been lurking /b/ for atleast 3 years now, me a bit longer, despite this recent turn of events I do know button, I know shes not stupid and I know she has seen the worst of what this world has to offer thanks to you fuckers
>b makes you pretty fucking passive to the whole fapping thing after awhile, we use to always say things like “getting tired, ima fap then sleep, cya tomorrow” and shit like that
>might not have always been joking but certainly didn’t bother me to say it, why so different now?
>wait does this mean she fapped aswell?
“Huston we are cleared for liftoff, I repeat we are cleared for liftoff”
>2 minutes later I came with the force of a thousand suns, had the forsight to get up and aim it all into the shower though
>I’m usually not a yoghurt launcher so to speak, sort of yohgurt dribbler, but past experience has taught me that if I’m blue balling enough then I can give an almost DVD worthy moneyshot and this time was no exception
>try to make my shower brief to make up for the 5 minutes I spent procrastinating on toilet but then decided fuck it, got nothing to hide
>get out of shower and immediately realise the one thing that I should have noticed when I walked into the bathroom
>towl rack is empty
>>
>>565577330
lmfao
>>
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>>565579338
>decent
Kill yourself
>>
I can slow down if im posting to quick? I spent the last week editing what i wrote back in january, trying to get it greentextable

>>565579891

>button must have been listening for the shower to turn off… biding her time… waiting for this very moment
>because not 5 seconds after I realised the error of my ways she called out to me, “is there something wrong anon?” in overly innocent tone
>so this is how its going to be is it button?
>”can you pass me a towl?” I know its futile but fuck it, I’ll play along, I’m feeling much more relaxed now that I’ve had a fap along with that moment of clarity
>”there is a fresh one sitting for you on the couch if you want it” she sings out
>I figured it would be something like this
>I look down at willy, willy looks back up at me
letsdothis.mkv
>”I found it in your bottom draw along with your….”
>she trails off, because at that moment I open the sliding door to the bathroom and walk out, hands by my side, butt naked
>button is standing halfway between the couch and the bathroom with a fresh towl that she must have dug through my draws for, she obviously planned to pass it in to me after teasing me for awhile
>also, blue shirt turned out to be a superman logo T and yogapants turned out to be yogapants
>I walk up to her as casually as possible, my tuna torpedo still packing a bit of after fap oomph, not even attempting to cover it, my eyes locked on hers, still dripping water everywhere
>she can’t decide which head she wants to look at more, mine or willys
>”bottom of my draw along with my… what?” i ask her, might as well finish she started
>I take the towl off her casually
>she looks at me, “…buttplugs” she says, kind of aloof
>nearly lost my shit at that…
>>
>>565580060
dont slow down
>>
>>565579750
keep going don't stahp
>>
also, i hope you mother fuckers are in for a long night, this thing is 45,000 words long so far, and i am still editing past day 4...

>>565580060

>”well, faggot ‘s gunna faggot I guess… I take back what I said before I had a shower by the way, you are a good friend, thanks for the towl!”
>hers keep darting between willy and my chest/arms and as before, not even trying to be subtle about it
>I turn and walk back into bathroom to dry myself off and get changed
>good start to the day, but the best part of it all is that there is no way button will let me win this… I know full well I’m going loose in the end, I’ve never beaten her in a duel or on kill count, or accuracy% or anything… no way is she going to let me start winning now
>but I don’t need to tell you how little I care about winning this little game… ill be happy to come away with a certificate of participation and a scratch and sniff sticker
>finish getting dry and changed
>spray on deodorant, make sure to spray some on crotch… just in case
>deodorant can is nearly empty… going to need more… female living in house now
>walk out of bathroom feeling alpha as fuck
>button is sitting on couch playing Halo 4, I kept telling her it was awesome but she never picked it up, to sceptical about the new studio working on it and hated all the spinoff shit that came after Halo 3
>notice there is a cup of coffee sitting on the kitchen counter
>”is this for me?” better check just in case
>button turns and looks at me, that neutral expression, “no its for my other friend”
>>
>>565580202

>I play along,”is he a faggot to?”
>”sure is, I’ll introduce you, I think you will like him… loves it in the ass”
>this is pretty typical sort of banter for us… we might as well be saying good morning
>”it’s shame though…” button continues on as she turns back to her game, “he has a nice cock, I would’ve loved to have had a go at it”
genericcoffeespit.jpg
>button is still concentrating on campaign mode, but now wearing a small smile of victory at the sound of me choking on coffee
>not even going to attempt a comeback, I enjoyed that one to much, “did you sleep ok?”
>”nope… this couch is uncomfortable as fuck to sleep on, did you even try it out anon?”
>I feel bad now… “I had no I idea sorry”
>thinking of what I can do, don’t have a spare mattress or anything, suppose I will just switch with her and deal with it
>”relax anon I know it’s not your fault” button offers to me as she sees disappointed look, “you’re lucky I did turn out to be a girl though…” button continues
>”how so?”
>”well it would be kind of awkward when we both go to sleep in your bed tonight and I was in fact a guy… you know… with you being such a giant faggot and all”
>button is still playing the campaign, still has smug smile on her face
>I must have really caught her off guard with the stunt I pulled earlier because she is being relentless in her counter attacks
>>
>>565580202
Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
>sage
>>
>>565580269
bumping
>>
>>565580269

>I need to get some things from the shop, running out of spaghetti, I’m a decent cook so I figure I will splurge and buy some fancy shit to try and impress over the next few days
>head over to dresser and put on something more appropriate for outdoors
>”I’m heading down to the shops to get a few things, do you need anything?”
>”a box of condoms”
>she is losing her game… obvious bait is obvious
>walk to door and slide on shoes
>”no worries” I sing out
>no reply, button just concentrates on the game
>I close door behind me and start off down the block, going over the various happenings of this morning in my head
>phone vibrates in pocket
>txt from button, it reads “condoms were a joke, I’m on the pill faggot”
>I can’t help but smile, button definitely still got game
>going through isles at shops, thinking of meal ideas as I go
>reach cereal isle, I don’t really eat breakfast, most of my uni stuff is later in the day so it’s not often I wake up before 10ish
>usually just have coffee and early lunch and so I don’t have any cereal or anything at home
>txt button, “what do you want for breakfast, do you have a favourite cereal?”
>buttons reply “you”
>”I’m serious button”
>”so am I, hurry up and get back”
>shes fucking with me… she has to be, but that offhand comment about cock in mouth, the condom/pill comment and her remark about sleeping in the same bed are still floating around in the back of my head… not to mention that sweet sweet ass
>finish up shopping quicker then I planned, forgot a few essentials as well… couldn’t stop thinking about what to expect when I get home
>>
lets go op keep them coming
>>
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>>565580371
Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
>sage
>>
>>565580372

the captchas are against me tonight...

>>565580371

>summer here in Australia, day is already starting to heat up
>trying to be as quick as I can with heavy shopping bags without breaking sweat
>don’t want to get home all sweaty… you know… just in case
>get home and and place shopping in kitchen
>button has changed out of her yogapants and superman top… she is now sporting the shirt I had on before I left, the big ex company logo one
>practically a dress on her, but noticeably shorter then that shirtdress she had on the other day, unfortunately nowhere near as tight, but it does sit much higher up her thighs
>can’t quite see what she has on underneath, she is sitting the wrong way
>button gets up off the sofa and starts walking towards me
>standing my ground, she is definitely up to something
>she has her eyes locked on mine
>but this time it’s far worse, because for the first time since she has arrived, she is deliberately using them as a weapon, full of fake lust… I think its fake
>not sure how much longer I can keep this up
>grabs my hand, first time we have touched… notice for first time how small her hands are, I have pretty big hands and 5 years of trade work has made them kinda rough so the contrast between mine feels incredible
>feels like I’m stroking a baby’s ass
>she starts pulling me towards the couch
>my briefs are filling up with spaghetti
>”if you had of taken any longer I probably would’ve lost the mood…” she says as she sits me down on the couch
>”what exactly where you in the mood for?”
>please… I really want to know
>>
>>565580449

>”legendary co-op” button says to me as she sits down beside me and hands me a controller, “you were right anon, 343 did a really good job with 4, but I decided it would be more fun if we did the campaign together”
>I don’t even try to contain my disappointment as I stare at the controller
>”whats the matter anon?” she asks mockingly
youknowexactlywhatthefuckisthematter.fuckyou
>”at least let me put the shopping away before anything melts”
>”well hurry up then faggot”
>I’m aware that while I’m packing things away button is studying me intently from the couch
>I can see her watching me from the corner of my eye, but I don’t give her the luxury of making eye contact
>my jimmys are indeed rustled
>she knows she won again and she wants to rub it in
>already trying to think of my next move but I can’t think of anything even remotely decent at the moment, figure I’m going to have to sit on it for a while and wait for an opportunity
>putting away the last of the spaghetti into the pantry
>”how much do I owe you?” button asks suddenly, she sounds pretty genuine about it as well
>”you paid for the pizza last night, so the first few days are on me, you can chip in when we need to shop next” I reply
>when WE need to shop… something about those words makes me… kinda really happy all of a sudden
>I also know button won’t go down without a fight, she has always been aware of the fact I earned a decent amount of money while we were friends (and when she was a he), a couple of times I offered to buy a game on steam or something so she (he) could play it as well but button would always outright refuse
>only time she would let me buy her a game (godamnit it feels so weird referring to past tense button as a she… ) is on a birthday or Christmas and even then didn’t like it
>>
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>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Reported for breaking the rules.

Enjoy your ban.

/thread

sage
>>
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>>565580371
Pean Pag Puccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
>sage
>>
>>565580532

>”just tell me how…” she begins but I’m ready for it and cut her off
>”my roof, my rules so just fucking deal with it!” I try to put my foot down, I know if I don’t then she won’t give up
>she just looks at me for a bit and then replies with “fine, now hurry up and come play”
>well that went much better than expected
>button is sitting in the corner of the chaise, her legs facing along the bottom of the L
>I sit down next to her and join the campaign lobby that she has setup
>she has set it up for the very beginning, button is really into the story side of games, so she likes to see all the cutescenes and play things in order
>looks like it’s going to be a halo 4 marathon weekend
>while campaign is loading button turns and looks at me again
>”you’re about 10 times more attractive when you talk like that”
>this completely catches me off guard… “talk like what?” I ask
>“confident… you never did that before, online”
>there’s a good reason for this, online things were different, not only was button a he at that point but I had no reason to try and be more dominant or anything… things were fun how they were
>In person I can be a little different though, when dating girls through highschool I quickly found that things worked better when I was in charge… I wouldn’t call myself super dominant or anything like that but I certainly preferred to take control of a relationship
>”I didn’t realise you went for that sort of thing?”
>she smiles and then turns back towards the screen, ”neither did I, now shuttup, campaign is starting”
>she’s just fucking with me... I’ll bet money on it, but it worked either way, now I can’t stop thinking about what she said
>she sits up and then flops down forward on her tummy along the lower half of the L facing towards the tv
>t-shirt is JUST long and baggy enough to not be able to see her undies
>>
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>>565580536
>>565580548
>>
>>565578314
Only this far in but I think I love you OP
>>
>>565580702

yeah i was wondering that... its not like im dumping cp?

>>565580672

>I’m starting to see it all come together now, instead of trying to get me back with one big move like I did earlier, she is going to torture me for the entire day
>seriously how the fuck am I supposed to play halo, on legendary no less, with buttons ass nearly exposed right next to me
>”I know what you’re trying to do…”
>button turns and gives me a ‘noideawhatyour’etalkingabout’ face
>rest of the morning went as planned, everytime she moved or fidgeted, which was more often than necessary, I couldn’t help but glancing over at her
>but looking back on it, that just added to how much of a blast we had that morning
>first time button and I had played a game together in person and although I didn’t think it was possible, it was even more fun than when we play online
>I had played through campaign on heroic already, so I was a little more accustomed to the new weapons, controls and what not
>we clicked into our usual sort of playing rythem, I played more ranged style with the BR/carbine and sniper type weapons
>button was all about the shotguns and upclose stuff
>felt completely natural and, all sexual tension aside; we were genuinely just having a good time together as if it was any other weekend playing online
>in the less intensive moments during the game we chat, its mostly me asking questions about her now that I know she is a girl
>turns out she has never had a boyfriend, just hasn’t been interested
>”surely you have been asked a fair bit?”
>”you have no idea, but its always the same bullshit, compliment me on looks, ass, eyes… stupid stuff like that” she says with genuine frustration in her voice, “not once did anybody just try to get to know me, it was always so… cliché you know? Shallow…”
>>
Hitler's Nazi Party became the largest elected party in the German Reichstag, leading to his appointment as chancellor in 1933. Following fresh elections won by his coalition, the Reichstag passed the Enabling Act, which began the process of transforming the Weimar Republic into the Third Reich, a single-party dictatorship based on the totalitarian and autocratic ideology of National Socialism. Hitler aimed to eliminate Jews from Germany and establish a New Order to counter what he saw as the injustice of the post-World War I international order dominated by Britain and France. His first six years in power resulted in rapid economic recovery from the Great Depression, the denunciation of restrictions imposed on Germany after World War I, and the annexation of territories that were home to millions of ethnic Germans, actions which gave him significant popular support.
Hitler actively sought Lebensraum ("living space") for the German people. His aggressive foreign policy is considered to be the primary cause of the outbreak of World War II in Europe. He directed large-scale rearmament and on 1 September 1939 invaded Poland, resulting in British and French declarations of war on Germany. In June 1941, Hitler ordered an invasion of the Soviet Union. By the end of 1941 German forces and their European allies occupied most of Europe and North Africa. Failure to defeat the Soviets and the entry of the United States into the war forced Germany onto the defensive and it suffered a series of escalating defeats. In the final days of the war, during the Battle of Berlin in 1945, Hitler married his long-time lover, Eva Braun. On 30 April 1945, less than two days later, the two committed suicide to avoid capture by the Red Army, and their corpses were burned. Under Hitler's leadership and racially motivated ideology, the regime was responsible for the genocide of at least 5.5 million Jews, and millions of other victims whom he and his followers deemed racially inferior.
>>
>>565580789

>”yeah I can imagine that” for the first time I am genuinely glad that button hid her gender all this time, because I probably would have done the same sort of thing, epiphany sort of moment
>about 1:30ish started getting hungry
>suggest we stop and have lunch break
>”get into kitchen and make me a sammich bitch”
>button just looks at me with a ‘why are you such a faggot look’
>”not convincing enough?” I ask her
>she just shakes her head
>”maybe I could try taking my shirt off and slapping you around a bit?” I offer
>button smiles at this and goes to get up, pretty sure I caught a glimpse of blue from underneath the shirt of mine she is wearing
>”so it worked after all?” I ask smugly
>”no I’m just hungry too… and it doesn’t look like your gunna stop being a little bitch anytime soon” button replies calmly as she walks towards the kitchen
>god I want to see buttons ass again so bad…
>now It’s my turn to study her, she has her back towards me and is moving around the kitchen, searching for plates, knives, things like that
>her movements remind me of some sort of ballet dance, despite her boyish qualities, she still has genuine female grace about her
>everything about button makes me want her even more
>the way her feet ever so slightly point inwards when she stands infront of the counter putting the sandwiches together
>her legs are so smooth they reflect enough light to be a fire hazard
>long dark brown naturally wavy hair that comes half the way down her back
>just watching her make a sammich in my kitchen is at least 10 times more euphoric then injecting meth into your asshole while preaching atheism to a crowd of MLP fans while wearing a diamond studded fedora
>not sure if that’s actually a thing but it sounds like it would be somewhere
>>
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>>565580816
you keep saging, ill keep bumping.
nigger.
>>
Hitler's father, Alois Hitler, Sr. (1837–1903), was the illegitimate child of Maria Anna Schicklgruber.[2] Because the baptismal register did not show the name of his father, Alois initially bore his mother's surname, Schicklgruber. In 1842, Johann Georg Hiedler married Alois's mother, Maria Anna. After she died in 1847 and Johann Georg Hiedler in 1856, Alois was brought up in the family of Hiedler's brother, Johann Nepomuk Hiedler.[3] In 1876, Alois was legitimated and the baptismal register changed by a priest to register Johann Georg Hiedler as Alois's father (recorded as Georg Hitler).[4][5] Alois then assumed the surname Hitler,[5] also spelled as Hiedler, Hüttler, or Huettler. The Hitler surname is probably based on "one who lives in a hut" (Standard German Hütte for hut) or on "shepherd" (Standard German hüten for to guard); alternatively, it might be derived from the Slavic words Hidlar or Hidlarcek (small cottager or small holder).[6]
Nazi official Hans Frank suggested that Alois's mother had been employed as a housekeeper for a Jewish family in Graz and that the family's 19-year-old son, Leopold Frankenberger, had fathered Alois.[7] Because no Frankenberger was registered in Graz during that period, and no record of Leopold Frankenberger's existence has been produced,[8] historians dismiss the claim that Alois's father was Jewish.[9][10]
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bumping on mobile
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>>565580914
SHUT THE FUCK UP IM TRYING TO READ FAGGOT FUCK. ILL SLIT YOUR FUCKING THROAT YOU HOMO FUCKING BITCH NIGGER
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>>565580789
You are a shit poster of the highest order and your story is horrible. I hope you die from nigger aids you fucking faggot
Sage this utter shit
>>
Hitler began a military build-up on Germany's western border, and in April 1940, German forces invaded Denmark and Norway. On 9 April, Hitler proclaimed the birth of the Greater Germanic Reich, his vision of a united empire of the Germanic nations of Europe, where the Dutch, Flemish, and Scandinavians were joined into a "racially pure" polity under German leadership.[245] In May 1940, Germany attacked France, and conquered Luxembourg, the Netherlands, and Belgium. These victories prompted Mussolini to have Italy join forces with Hitler on 10 June. France surrendered on 22 June.[246] Kershaw notes that Hitler's popularity within Germany—and German support for the war— reached its peak when he returned to Berlin on 6 July from his tour of Paris.[247] Following the unexpected swift victory, Hitler promoted twelve generals to the rank of field marshal during the 1940 Field Marshal Ceremony.[248][249]
Britain, whose troops were forced to evacuate France by sea from Dunkirk,[250] continued to fight alongside other British dominions in the Battle of the Atlantic. Hitler made peace overtures to the new British leader, Winston Churchill.
>>
you should have just pulled your dick and walked around with your hard iron rod. fucking beta faggot
>>
>>565580874

>button finishes with the sammich’s
>might point out among the well covered topics we have spent nights on end talking about such as pvp vs pve, alien life, rpgs vs fps, war in Iraq and movies… food and in particular sandwiches definitely have been covered
>so when she brings me my favourite sandwhich combo: ham, tomato, mustard, salt n pepper it isn’t really as huge a shock as you might think
>like I keep saying, been best friends for some time now, we have covered these things fairly well
>but despite this, the moment she handed it to me was definitely very surreal
>non of my ex’s had ever even come close to making me feel like this, nor did any of them ever bother to learn my favourite sandwhich let along ever make it for me
>also the exact reason I bought devon and those cheap ass plastic cheese slices
>I knew button loved a good plastic cheese, devon and tomato sauce sammich which is exactly what she had made
>a couple of bites into my sammich I have an idea out of the blue, “wanna go see the new hobbit at the imax tomorrow?”
>button thinks about this for a second while finishing her mouthful, “you fucking know it!”
>button is a huge hobbit fan, she loves the fantasy stuff where I am more into sci-fi, but that doesn’t mean we both don’t like a good movie or game of the opposite genre or anything
>even though it’s just mates going to watch a movie, somehow feels like a major achievement
>finish up sammiches, put plates on coffee table
>button swings her legs so she now has her back resting in the corner of the L and legs are running up the long part of the lounge
>right over the top of my lap
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>>565581015
>>565581026
>stop liking what i dont like
you two are the stupidest people ive seen in quite a while, congrats.
>>
>>565581026
Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
>sage
>>
sus (/?d?i?z?s/; Greek: ?????? Iesous, Aramaic: ????? Isho; 7–2 BC to 30–33 AD), also referred to as Jesus of Nazareth, is the central figure of Christianity,[12] whom the teachings of most Christian denominations hold to be the Son of God. Christianity regards Jesus as the awaited Messiah of the Old Testament and refers to him as Jesus Christ,[e] a name that is also used in non-Christian contexts.
Virtually all modern scholars of antiquity agree that Jesus existed historically,[f] although the quest for the historical Jesus has produced little agreement on the historical reliability of the Gospels and on how closely the biblical Jesus reflects the historical Jesus.[19] Most scholars agree that Jesus was a Jewish rabbi from Galilee who preached his message orally,[20] was baptized by John the Baptist, and was crucified in Jerusalem on the orders of the Roman prefect, Pontius Pilate.[21] Scholars have constructed various portraits of the historical Jesus, which often depict him as having one or more of the following roles: the leader of an apocalyptic movement, Messiah, a charismatic healer, a sage and philosopher, or an egalitarian social reformer.[22] Scholars have correlated the New Testament accounts with non-Christian historical records to arrive at an estimated chronology of Jesus' life. The most widely used calendar era in the world (abbreviated as "AD", alternatively referred to as "CE"), counts from a medieval estimate of the birth year of Jesus.
Christians believe that Jesus has a "unique significance" in the world.[23] Christian doctrines include the beliefs that Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit, was born of a virgin, performed miracles, founded the Church, died by crucifixion as a sacrifice to achieve atonement, rose from the dead, and ascended into heaven, whence he will return.[24] The great majority of Christians worship Jesus as the incarnation of God the Son, the second of three persons of a Divine Trinity.
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>>565578314
what is this gigantic emptiness in the middle of your room
>>
>>565581119
>>565581138
>>
>>565580914
>>565581015
>>565581026

cant you guys just chill out?

>>565581092

>button just picks up controller and asks me if I’m ready to resume campaign
>she is playing it cool, so I decide to follow suite
>pick up controller and rest my arms on her legs
icantbelieveitsnotbutter.smooth
>she turns so that she is lying more on her side, legs still across my lap
>now perfect view of her ass from beneath the t-shirt she has on, perfectly taught blue boylegs made of semi transparent lace
>iseewhatyoudidthere
>”well whats it gunna be anon? stare at my ass or finish this campaign?” button says to me with an expecting kind of look
>this should be a whole other level of difficulty in halo…
>must not give in

>we continue to play halo and I work out a strategy, I allow myself a peek every time I die or we have to restart at the checkpoint in order to keep my hunger at bay
>button catches on to what I’m doing pretty quickly but doesn’t seem to mind
>”you better not be dying deliberately anon” she drops at one point
lolofcoursenot.dll

>before we know it, it’s dark outside, “I’m going to get started on dinner”
>”what are you making?” button asks curiously
>”gourmet hotdogs” I say declare
>button just looks at me
>inb4 faggot
>”should have known it was going to involve some sort of sausage”
>close enough, doesn’t count, I called it
>button gets up and wanders next to me in the kitchen, “give me something to do” she says bluntly
>I’m not even going to bother arguing with her, unlikely I will win
>”dice the onion and the bacon, grate the cheese and then butter the two sourdough rolls” I return to her In the same blunt tone she used
>button gets to work on the things I asked while I start cooking the two gourmet pork, fennel and chilli sausages I got from the butchers
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>>565581092
Kill yourself
>sage
>>
>>565580789
Before this thread 404s due to the saging gayness please email me the whole story anon [email protected]
>>
The name Jesus is derived from the Latin Iesus, a transliteration of the Greek ?????? (Iesous).[28] The Greek form is a rendition of the Hebrew ?????? (Yehoshua), which is derived from the Aramaic ????? (Isho).[29][30][31][32] The name Yeshua appears to have been in use in Judea at the time of the birth of Jesus.[33] The first-century works of historian Flavius Josephus (who wrote in Koine Greek, the same language as that of the New Testament)[34] refer to at least twenty different people with the name Jesus (i.e. ??????).[35] The etymology of Jesus' name in the context of the New Testament is generally given as "Yahweh is salvation".[36]
Since early Christianity, Christians have commonly referred to Jesus as "Jesus Christ".[37] The word Christ is derived from the Greek ??????? (Christos),[28][38] which is a translation of the Hebrew ???????? (Masiah), meaning the "anointed" and usually transliterated into English as "Messiah".[39][40] Christians designate Jesus as Christ because they believe he is the awaited Messiah prophesied in the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament). In postbiblical usage, Christ became viewed as a name—one part of "Jesus Christ"—but originally it was a title.[41][42] The term "Christian" (meaning "one who owes allegiance to the person Christ" or simply "follower of Christ") has been in use since the first century.[43][44]
>>
is anyone else capping this?
>>
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>>565581217
>>565581221
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>>565577263
gentlemen this is why i still play wow....fucking old wowfriends where are you...
>>
>>565581201
Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
>>
>>565581238
This story is not worth being capped. You're a faggot for thinking it is.
>>
>>565581218
nigga, there's a LOT more posts before post cap
>>
*picture may not be to scale
*op may not be professional artist or writer

heh

>>565581201

>she is being unusually quiet, I was expecting a witty comeback to my kind of blunt and rude directions
>i start to worry it might have been something I said or did earlier, but nothing comes to mind
>could be that time of the month and she is just mood swinging… but I have never noticed that in her before… but then again she was a he and I was never looking for it
>decide its best to just ask, button prefers a no bullshit approach to things like this anyway, “is everything ok?”
>”I’m just tired, i wasn’t really kidding about having a bad sleep last night…”
>phew, at least it’s just something simple, was worried she was starting to have second thoughts on everything that was happening… I’ve been with enough girls in the past to know that it’s pretty fucking common for chicks to completely 180 at random in situations like these… fucking hormones and shit
>I should know better with button though, this is exactly what she means when she tells me I over think things… button is the most down to earth person I’ve met, can’t stand bullshit or tip-toeing around issues
>”do you want to go to bed after dinner?, you can have my bed and I’ll take the couch” I offer to her
>”if you were this much of a pushover with all your ex-girlfriends then I’m not surprised they left you anon” she informs me
>I ignore the stab at my manhood and give her a bored look as I wait for her proper answer
>button slides me a bowl with the diced bacon and onion and then starts on grating the cheese
>”Its only like 8, I’m not THAT tired yet, let’s just put a movie on? You can pick this time”
>she must be reasonably tired if she is being this agreeable
>my best guess is she doesn’t want to go to sleep while I am still up, guess she is atleast a little nervous somewhere behind all that faggot calling… atleast I would like to think so
>>
>>565581238
Yes! Lets all cap a /FAKE/ story wrote by some fat hambeast trying to create a fake fantasy in his mind. Great idea! Fucking niggers.

Nazi Germany and the Third Reich are common names for Germany during the period from 1933 to 1945, when its government was controlled by Adolf Hitler and his National Socialist German Workers' Party (NSDAP), commonly known as the Nazi Party. Under Hitler's rule, Germany was transformed into a fascist totalitarian state which controlled nearly all aspects of life. Nazi Germany ceased to exist after the Allied Forces defeated Germany in May 1945, ending World War II in Europe.
After Hitler was appointed Chancellor of Germany by the President of the Weimar Republic Paul von Hindenburg on 30 January 1933, the Nazi Party began to eliminate all political opposition and consolidate their power. Hindenburg died on 2 August 1934, and Hitler became dictator of Germany when the powers and offices of the Chancellery and Presidency were merged. A national referendum held 19 August 1934 confirmed Hitler as sole Führer (leader) of Germany. All power was centralised in Hitler's hands, and his word was above all laws. The government was not a coordinated, co-operating body, but rather a collection of factions struggling to amass power and gain Hitler's favour. In the midst of the Great Depression, the Nazis restored economic stability and ended mass unemployment using heavy military spending and a mixed economy. Extensive public works were undertaken, including the construction of Autobahns (high speed highways). The return to economic stability boosted the regime's popularity.
>>
>>565581218
Suck his dick alrdy you faggot
>sage
>>
>>565581315
you sure seem mad
>>
In September 2006, the US edition of Monopoly Here and Now was released. This edition features top landmarks across the US.[25] The properties were decided by votes over the Internet in the spring of 2006.[26]
Monetary values are multiplied by 10,000 (e.g., one collects $2,000,000 instead of $200 for passing GO and pays that much for Income Tax (or 10% of their total, as this edition was launched prior to 2008), each player starts with $15,000,000 instead of $1,500, etc.).[25] Also, the Chance and Community Chest cards are updated, the Railroads are replaced by Airports (Chicago O'Hare, Los Angeles International, New York City's JFK, and Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson), and the Utilities (Electric Company and Water Works) are replaced by Service Providers (Internet Service Provider and Cell Phone Service Provider).[26] The houses and hotels are blue and silver, not green and red as in most editions of Monopoly. The board uses the traditional US layout; the cheapest properties are purple, not brown, and "Interest on Credit Card Debt" replaces "Luxury Tax". Despite the updated Luxury Tax space and the Income Tax space no longer using the 10% option, this edition uses paper Monopoly money, and not an electronic banking unit like the Here and Now World Edition. However, a similar edition of Monopoly, the Electronic Banking edition, does feature an electronic banking unit and bank cards, as well as a different set of tokens. Both Here and Now and Electronic Banking feature an updated set of tokens from the Atlantic City edition.[26]
It is also notable that three states (California, Florida and Texas) are represented by two cities each (Los Angeles and San Francisco, Miami and Orlando, and Dallas and Houston respectively). No other state is represented by more than one city (not including the airports). One landmark, Texas Stadium, has been demolished and no longer exists. Another landmark, Jacobs Field, still exists, but was renamed Progressive Field in 2008.[27]
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>>565581301
>>565581343
>>
>>565581332

>we eat the hotdogs infront of the tv while I browse my external for something I feel in the mood for
>fucking delicious as btw>button takes the empty plates back to the kitchen, I still can’t decide what I want to watch,
>I’m a very indecisive person in general when it comes to picking from menus and stuff like that… part of the whole overthinking things trait, I usually regret whatever I pick in the end which doesn’t help
>I’m also deliberately stalling because I just noticed button heading to my bed to grab pillows
lightbulbmoment.sys
>I quickly re position myself on the couch so that I am in the corner where the top and bottom of the L meet, put my legs up on my foot rest and hang arms over back of couch while I keep flicking through the movie list
>button comes back over with two pillows from my bed, she notices my choice of position and smiles at me with a ‘oh is that how it is’ sort of look
>she puts one pillow up against my thigh and flops down along the long part of the L, resting her head on the pillow/my thigh
success.docx
>button hugs the other pillow infront of her and curls her legs up
>I pull the throwover off the back of the couch and cover her with it
>before you all call me a faggot as well, a lot of these things like decorative pillows, throw overs and stuff is mostly left over stuff from previous relationships
>like I said I had my own place down when I was doing my apprenticeship and girls love getting all nesty and buying knickknacks and stuff, it’s there equivalent to pissing there scent all over your home
>>
Please post faster

I wanna learn more about bean bag buccaneers
>>
Nigger is a noun in the English language. The word originated as a neutral term referring to black people, as a variation of the Spanish/Portuguese noun negro, a descendant of the Latin adjective niger ("color black").[1] Often used disparagingly, by the mid 20th century, particularly in the United States, it suggested that its target is extremely unsophisticated. Its usage had become unambiguously pejorative, a common ethnic slur usually directed at blacks of Sub-Saharan African descent.In the United Kingdom and the Anglophone world, nigger denoted the dark-skinned (non-white) African and Asian (i.e., from India or nearby) peoples colonized into the British Empire, and "dark-skinned foreigners" — in general.
In A Dictionary of Modern English Usage (1926), H. W. Fowler states that applying the word nigger to "others than full or partial negroes" is "felt as an insult by the person described, & betrays in the speaker, if not deliberate insolence, at least a very arrogant inhumanity"; but the second edition (1965) states: "N. has been described as 'the term that carries with it all the obloquy and contempt and rejection which whites have inflicted on blacks.'".
Victorian writer Rudyard Kipling used it in 'How the Leopard Got His Spots' and 'A Counting-Out Song' to illustrate the usage of the day. Likewise, P. G. Wodehouse used the phrase "Nigger minstrels" in Thank You, Jeeves (1934), the first Jeeves–Bertie novel, in admiration of their artistry and musical tradition. See also below under "Literary".
As recently as the 1950s, it may have been acceptable British usage to say niggers when referring to black people, notable in mainstream usages such as Nigger Boy–brand[citation needed] candy cigarettes, and the color nigger brown or simply nigger (dark brown);[11] however, by the 1970s the term was generally recognized as racist, offensive and potentially illegal along with the unambiguously offensive "nig-nog", and "golliwog".
>>
gunna try and ignore all this sage crap...

>>565581465

>button doesn’t react to the throwover but instead just says “hurry up and pick a movie faggot”
>I decide on Howls moving castle, I know button doesn’t mind the Ghibli movies and I haven’t watched it in a while, figured it would be a nice cruisy choice
>turns out it didn’t matter, button is asleep within the first 15 minutes
>get up to the point where howl pulls sophie close in the ally to escape the sludge things
>suddenly want to put hand on buttons waist
>spend next 5 minutes debating on if it would be good idea or not, still unsure where the new lines are in our friendship
>fuck it… if she notices, just blame arm getting sore and had to movie it
>hand doesn’t quite reach down to her waist comfortably, so I rest it on lower ribcage
>button doesn’t move at first
>suddenly lifts arm up and pulls covers back
>oh shit mission abort, move my hand away
>button reaches back and grabs hold of my hand, pull it under her arm and returns cover
>my hand now resting on the pillow she is hugging, her hand resting on top of mine
>button slides her fingers between mine and goes back to sleep
>if it wasn’t for pillow, would be resting my hand right on her boob…
>fuck you pillow
>other then that, feeling pretty alpha
>as I recall this stuff and type it out I know it seems kind if petty lame… and with any other girl it would just be the standard sort of getting to know you stuff, not even worth greentexting
>but you need to understand that this isn’t an ordinary situation… this is my best friend, who just turned out to be a girl… a 10/10 girl that is probably way out of my league and I would never even bother approaching in a bar or on campus or anything
>>
>>565581332
Kill yourself you worthless fat fuck. Everyone knows you are currently living as a grown ass man in your parents house and literally no one loves you. The fact you poured so much time and effort to this shit story is appalling. Kill your worthless self
>sage
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>>565581413
>>565581392
>>565581559
>>
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>>565581565

>that’s why I remember these sort of moments so clearly, because each moment feels like the first time I touched boobs all over again, imagine what it would be like when I get to actually touch them? But we will get to that later… one step at a time my /b/rothers

>button fast asleep for rest of the movie just hugging my arm/hand
>by the time it finishes I am contemplating playing it a second time jut so I don’t have to break the moment, I don’t really want to wake her up
>button seems to sense the movie finishing anyway and stirs a awake
>she pushes my hand away and rolls over onto her back, yawning and stretching
>she hops up and grabs the two pillows as she heads over to my bed
>”oi, I need those to sleep on” I call out after her
>she throws the pillows onto the bed and turns to look at me, stil half asleep, “don’t be a faggot anon, just get into the bed”
>I was hoping this would happen, but didn’t want to be the one to suggest it
>she turns back around and reaches up under her shirt, unclipping her bra
>even though its dark, I get another good view of the boylegs she is wearing, they mold to her ass perfectly…
>turn off the tv and walk over to opposite side of the bed to button and turn on my reading lamp, button is already pulling back the covers and getting in
>”holy shit are you fucking serious?” button suddenly remarks as she settles down under sheets, “your bed is this comfortable and yet you made me sleep on the couch last night?”
>button rolls over to face me on the other side as I take my shirt and shorts off, keep my briefs on again though
>I literally cannot sleep with clothes on, and figure she probably doesn’t give a shit at this point if I just have briefs
>>
>>565581565
Please do. This is an epic story. Can you share your .txt at the end?
>>
bumping on mobile for OP again
>>
Multiple forms of slavery and servitude have existed throughout Africa during history and were shaped by indigenous practices of slavery as well as the Roman institution of slavery (and the later Christian views on slavery), the Islamic institutions of slavery, and eventually the Atlantic slave trade. Slavery existed in parts of Africa (like the rest of the world) and was a part of the economic structure of some societies for many centuries, although the extent varied.[6] Ibn Battuta who visited the ancient kingdom of Mali in the mid-14th century recounts that the local inhabitants vie with each other in the number of slaves and servants they have, and was himself given a slave boy as a "hospitality gift."[7] In sub-Saharan Africa, the slave relationships were often complex with rights and freedoms given to individuals held in slavery and restrictions on sale and treatment by their masters. Many communities had hierarchies between different types of slaves: for example, differentiating between those who had been born into slavery and those who had been captured through war.
"The slaves in Africa, I suppose, are nearly in the proportion of three to one to the freemen. They claim no reward for their services except food and clothing, and are treated with kindness or severity, according to the good or bad disposition of their masters. Custom, however, has established certain rules with regard to the treatment of slaves, which it is thought dishonourable to violate. Thus the domestic slaves, or such as are born in a man’s own house, are treated with more lenity than those which are purchased with money. ... But these restrictions on the power of the master extend not to the care of prisoners taken in war, nor to that of slaves purchased with money. All these unfortunate beings are considered as strangers and foreigners, who have no right to the protection of the law, and may be treated with severity, or sold to a stranger, according to the pleasure of their owners."
>>
>>565581590
you kill yourself you stupid faggot.
>>
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>>565581590
you're such an optimist. you must be really fun at parties.
>implying youve ever gone to a party
>>
>>565581648
Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
>sage
>>
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Reported for breaking the rules.

Enjoy your ban.

/thread

sage
>>
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>>565581590

>mfw you have nothing better to do but sage my thread

>>565581648

>I offer her an apologetic shrug and then turn off my lamp before climbing into bed
>to dark to see her but I know she is still facing towards me
>”what a dick move anon, how do you plan to make it up to me?” she seems a little more awake than before
>I figure she is trying to bait me into saying something stupid like a hug or kiss, ”ill pay for your movie tickets tomorrow…”
>there’s a short pause before she begins to roll over and face away from me, “well you wasted that opportunity didn’t you faggot”
>I decide that this is the opportunity I had been waiting for, time to get her back for all the torture today
>I’ve had enough past experience to know my way around a girls body reasonably well, hell I would even consider myself pretty darn skilled at some things
>one thing I have learnt is that a girls neck is usually the best place to start if you want to get them in the mood, some girls are more sensitive there then others but it rarely fails as a base starting point
>do it right and it’s like turning the key in the ignition of a car, engine roars to life and you can start driving, sometimes if you lucky the car will even start driving itself
>I prop myself up and move closer to her
>”it’s too late now…” she starts to say but stops mid sentence
>I plant one hand rather firmly on her hip, use my other hand to pull the hair back from her neck and then gip the back of her head firmly
>she squirms hesitantly, but it’s definitely not a proper attempt to move away for anything
>cant back out now
>I move in close and start kiss down her neck
>>
F5 F5 f5
>>
Heaven sure is testy tonight. Keep going OP.
>>
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>>565581683
>>565581754
>>565581761
>>
I dont even care if this is true or not
>>
>>565581779
HERE WE GO
>>
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>>565577712
>like a downy on cocaine; firing really quickly, but not quite in sync
>windows98startupnoise.midi
>these eye’s could cure erectile dysfunctionalty in a 120 year old chinese man that lost is penis back in WW2

You're a lot better writer than you think. These are fucking gold. Halfway through reading now
>>
>>565581779
Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
>sage
>>
If any of you stupid cunts are sitting here reading this and thinking OH SHIT DIS BE REAL OMG BETTER CAP BEST STORY EVER. Then please for the sake of the earth take the closest object and find a way to kill yourself.


>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Reported for breaking the rules.

Enjoy your ban.

/thread

sage
>>
>>565581779
>her whole body goes tense, I can already feel goosbumps down her waist
>keep slowly making my way down her neck, drawing out each kiss as I go, just a hint of tongue with each one
>buttons breathing becomes slightly erratic as shivers go up her body
>she arches her back and presses her ass against me
>turns out she is one of the more sensitive neck sort of girls… booyah
>I can feel her legs starting to fidget about
>she might be able to go toe to toe or even better with me when it comes to gaming, but she is out of her league here, I’m the one with all the experience
>I decide I’ve made my point, it’s going to be a more effective blow if I leave her hanging
>I start to let go of her hip and neck
>”keep going…” button says, almost desperately, her breathing now very audible
enginehasbeenstarted.exe
>I know she probably isn’t thinking with her engine purring like a kitten, so I contemplate if taking this further would be a good idea or not
>button is a big girl, I’m sure she can handle herself if she didn’t like where things were going
>I decide to really make this a victory
>she lets out a muffled “hnng” as I grip her neck again, I plant my hand back on her hip, gripping her through her boylegs, hand slightly closer to the middle this time around
>I move in to kiss her neck but stop just short and breath on her for a bit
>she moves her head to reveal as much of her neck as possible, hinting for me to keep going
>move up to her ear and whisper “say please”
>short pause while button weighs up her situation, “please…”
>this is fantastic… I’m fucking power tripping at this point, usually it’s her on top so to speak
>”tell me I win” I continue into her ear
>”don’t be a fag…. Hnnng”, I go back to kissing her neck mid-sentence and she trails off
>I give her another minute or so before going back to her ear, “say it” I whisper again
>another pause, “… fine you win faggot” she says, clearly frustrated
>>
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>>565581926
>>565581928
>>
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oh i saved this story and im half way through it, about to lay in my bed and finish it :3
>>
>>565579539
bimping just in case. I'm reading this shit and i'm not even half trough
>>
>>565581928
dude... believe me or don't believe me... I really dont care one way or another, just chill out and either enjoy what i have written or fuck off?

>>565581978

>good enough for me, I will never let her live this down
>I start again on her neck and I can feel the goosebumps come back as shivers run through her body
>suddenly she turns her lower half towards me more and parts her legs a bit
>I can feel her hand slide down under her boylegs as she starts to play with herself
>holy shit… she is fucking going for it!
>she pushes her other under and around me, she plants her hand on the back of my head and puts her fingers through my hair
>I might mention that at this point… my cock is hard enough to penetrate the presidents personal nuclear bunker
>her breathing starts to get quicker, and she begins to make soft noises
>she is starting to get close
>suddenly she breaks away from me and rolls over to face me
>my eyes have adjusted more to the darkness now and she meets my gaze
>her eyes are filled with so much want
>she stretches out her neck, hinting at me to continue on the other side
>I brush her hair aside with one hand and grip the other hand, its sticky with my saliva
>after tucking her hair behind her I put my hand back down on her hip
>button parts her legs and curls the top one over me in order to keep them propped apart, making room for her other hand to continue where she left off
>she puts the hand she just had down her pants against my chest, not sure if its just my wishful thinking, but pretty sure couple of her fingers are a bit sticky
>I keep going on her neck, going quicker this time
>I decide to see if I can bump this up a gear
>>
lurking bump for interest
>>
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>>565581779
You are so fucking beta I am embarrassed for you in your own bullshit story you fat bitch
>sage
>>
Bumping. Keep going OP
>>
>>565581926
Thanks
>>
Need link to full txt
>>
>>565581401
I'm not mad at all. I even find the story interesting. But that's about it. Are you really going to look back on this and think 'wow, that was a really good story, I'm so glad I capped it,"?
>>
>>565578314

Only this far in so far, already screen capping because I'm hooked
>>
>>565581928
/thread
>sage
>>
please op you gotta email this to me in case deleted
>>
>>565582081

>I simultaneously move my hand down from her hip and put it against the one she has down her pants while whispering in her ear “do you want me to do that for you?”
>she pauses for a second, clearly hesitating
>eventually I can feel her nod
>I move my hand over the top of hers as she slowly slides her hand out
>no mistake, definitely felt sticky fingers that time
>now the first time you go down a girls pants is always the most difficult, it’s like popping the hood on a car you have never worked on, or taking the side off a computer you have never seen, all the general parts are there but you need to assess the importance of each part and how big a roll it plays
>every girl works differently, some respond to the clit, for some it can be too sensitive or not sensitive enough, some prefer a bit of finger penetration, for some that does nothing
>so you have to listen carefully and feel for how she reacts to different things to gauge the effectiveness of each
>this time was no exception and I wanted to make sure I got it right

>I start back on her neck as I run my fingers further down
>first thing I notice, completely smooth, not even a prickle of missed hair
>button runs a tight ship
>my fingers hit the beginning of her slit and I can already feel how incredibly wet she is
>I press one finger in between her soft lips and start to move it further south, trying to get an idea of what im working with
>small clit, definitely an innie style vagoo, very little to no beef hanging out of the taco, her lips are quite swollen and puffy at this point
>button has curled one hand around my neck and has her other hand still on my chest
>she lets out a muffled moan as my finger continues to slide over her clit
>I run my fingers all the way down and find her opening
niagrafalls.webm
>>
>>565582081
please keep going op
>>
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>>565582102
>>565582190
>>
Bumping. Definitely bumping.
I love you, OP. Keep going.
>>
>>565582215

>I press the tip of my finger into her, testing things out
>holy christ its tight, this pussy has definitely never seen a dick before
>button digs her nails into my chest and neck as my finger slowly presses into her
>I back off in case I’m causing pain, my fingers are much bigger then hers after all and I don’t want to get to carried away here and ruin things
>survey complete
>I run my finger back up, dragging some of her juice with me and start to play with her clit
>small circular motion
>almost immediately button tenses up, what were once muffled noises clearly become soft moans with each exahle
>bingo
>button moves her hand down my chest
>she hesitates a bit at my briefs, but then slowly moves it over my meat popsicle and grips it through the fabric
>this seems to turn her on even more because she starts to let out even more noise
>I keep going at her clit, trying out different pressures and movements, listening and feeling her reactions, trying to gauge what makes her tick
>turns out a bit of pressure and speed is fine, and combined with the neck kissing I quickly bring her to the edge within a minute or so
>I can feel button hovering on the edge, she is starting to squirm, I make a final push to tip her over
>get out my teeth and bite down gently on her neck while ramping things up even further down stairs with my finger
>button lets out a quivering moan and her body goes ridged as electricity runs up her body
>her nails dig in almost painfully deep into my neck, ow I think to myself and respond by biting her neck even harder
>>
>>565582215
Kill yourself immedietly

Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
>sage
>>
bumping for op on mobile again
>>
>>565581728
He never implied that at all. You implied it. And it makes you look like a colossal fuckbag.
>>
tldr
>>
>>565582349
no u you fucking faggot beta bitch i would literally beat your faggot ass if i ever saw you
>>
>>565582337
Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
Sage sage sage
>>
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>>565582349
>>565582405
i was being sarcastic. glad you can't pick up on that either.
niggers.
>>
>>565582349
i have nothing for you but my love bro, if you want to post bean bag stuff, then you go right a head!

>>565582337

>button starts to cum even harder at this and grips my cock as if she were a fighter pilot beginning a bombing run
>I redouble my efforts on her clit as she quivers below me
>eventually her spasms get softer and less frequent and I relinquish my grip on her
>she rolls/collapses onto back and tries to catch her breath
>we both just lie there for a bit
>I’m trying to think of something witty to say but button beats me to it
>”you’re still a faggot…” she utters once her breathing has settled down
>”whatever floa…” I start but button cuts me off
>”do it again…” she half demands, half pleads
loloksurething.win
>”take your knickers off” I tell her
>button looks at me, a little unsure
>”just trust me…” I say reassuringly
>she brings her legs out from under the sheets while pulling her boylegs off, throwing them on the floor
>she rolls over to face me like before, but I have different plans this time
>I figure if she is keen to go again, then I will show her that there is plenty more where that came from
>>
Bumping. This shit is so cash
>>
>>565582474

>I push her onto her back and climb atop of her, parting her legs with my knees
>I brush the hair from one side of her neck and run my hand around to grab onto her head
>she stares at me for a little bit, her brown eyes judging me for all I’m worth
>I nearly jump off her there and then because I feel dirty for tainting such a perfect creature
>but that look she was giving me… holy fuck… it was the perfect mix of ‘I trust you’ and ‘I want you’ with a hint of ‘what are you going to do?’
>Michael Collins would’ve left Armstrong and Buzz’s arses on the moon in the blink of an eye if it meant he had a chance getting back and having this girl under him begging to be pleased
>I put my hand down between buttons legs, she is still as wet as a kitten in a thunderstorm
>she opens her mouth and gasps lightly as run my fingers up and over her clit again
>I move in and start to get to work on her neck again, gently at first, I can smell my dry saliva on her from before
>its not really the most flattering smell… lick the palm of your hand and smell it… right? But it doesn’t really matter in moments like this one
>I run one finger back down and find the tight entrance to her gold mine
>I keep working her clit with my thumb
>button isn’t even holding back this time, she is making all sorts of cute as fuck noises
>has her hands reached around to my shoulder blades and her legs are firmly locked around my thighs
>I slowly start to work my index finger into her snatch, bringing it back out often to make sure it is nice and coated in her juices
>its like trying to push my finger up a gerbils asshole
>her fingers start digging into my back
>>
>>565582470
>hurriwasntbeingserious
You should know by now that this doesn't qualify as an excuse for faggotry here.
>>
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>>565582438
Go to bed Tyler. I'll be in later to say goodnight and rape you to death
>sage
>>
>>565582537

>I’m having trouble telling if she is in pain or not so start to slide my finger back out of her and lift my mouth away from her neck to ask her
>she immediately responds with “don’t you dare stop now…” and tightens her legs and arms around me, pulling me back down
>operation gold mine has a green light to go!
>flip her head over to work on the other side of her neck
>we lock eyes for a moment, hers are half closed and kinda glazed over at this point
>I consider kissing her but decide against it, too much heavy breathing and she is making too much noise, besides that is a whole other line to cross
>I start getting to work on the other side of her neck
>I push my finger back inside of her and prepare to make her a late Christmas present
>I curl it up towards the roof of her pussy in a come here sort of motion, back and forth
>button reacts almost instantly, she digs her fingers in so deep I’m almost positive it breaks skin
>slut 2 was fucking crazy, use to scratch my back up regularly and I learnt to enjoy it after a while, so I enjoy it when button does the same sort of thing
>her whole body goes ridged as I almost instantly bring her over the edge
>I continue to wiggle my finger back and forth, slowly building up pressure and speed
>her little hnnng’s and cute noises have nearly turned into full blown moans
>I can tell she is biting her lip in an effort to keep herself from starting to sing opera
>her attempts to hold back just make me want to try harder, kind of like breaking a horse in for riding
>>
I hate to break it all to you but nothing written in this thread by OP is true. It's nothing but a fake story he's created in his mind because he lives in his mothers basement and the only kind of sexual encounter he's ever had in his life is masturbating. I knew every one on /b/ was somewhat mentally retarded but I didn't think you cunts would be as stupid as this. This is the kind of story people post on motherless, fake. You think he can remember WORD BY WORD what he said,and what she said? It doesn't take a fucking genius to realize it's all fake. Even a fucking down syndrome could realize that,but apparently you're all below a down syndrome when it comes to intelligence.

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Reported for breaking the rules.

Enjoy your ban.

/thread

sage
>>
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>>565582578
>>565582594
must be fun pretending to be the internet police, pointlessly attacking things you dont like. why dont you go make a pony thread and have a fap? you seem stressed.
>>
Bump. Don't let thread die. I'm getting a shower quickly
>>
>>565582537
>iliterallyjustreadacosmomagazineandthinkthisishowIthinksexworksinreallife.jpeg
Kill yourself
Sage
>>
>>565582676
lol youre so butthurt because nothing is happening to the thread you fucking loser. i bet youre the kid that went into your moms bedroom when she was getting plowed by different guys everyday and you gave them blueballs you beta bitch lmao
>>
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>>565582660

>I start dragging my finger in and out of her while holding it curled upwards
>I try not to over do it because I know from experience if i go to hard and fast there is chance she is going to squirt… and I don’t want that all over my sheets
>at this point she is well and truly over the edge, holding on for dear life as she rides the wave of electricity rippling through her body
>I take a moment to thank the lord oh mighty for coming up with such a fantastic slut switch, or g spot as women prefer to call it
>this continues for a minute or so until my finger starts to get tired and I begin to wind down
>as I pull my finger out of her I can feel her legs and hands relax as she starts to go limp
>hop off her and lay on my back next to her
>she is trying to catch her breath for a second time tonight
>”what the fuck did you just do?” she asks, her voice still a little shakey
>”found your g-spot…” I reply smug as fuck
>she doesn’t respond, just lays there for awhile
>eventually and rolls over and gets off the bed
>”whats up?” I ask her as she wanders over to her suitcase
>”I need new undies” as she pulls something from her suitcase and then heads to the bathroom
>probably gunna need to mop up as well
>I check her side of the bed for a wet patch, thankfully there isn’t one although I’m kinda surprised considering how wet she was
>>
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>>565582676
>>565582779
>>
>>565582712
I'm not policing anything. I'm just here to give you a friendly reminder that you're a total cunt.
>>
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>>565582863
i may be a cunt, but that's better than being a faggot.
>>
>>565582779
honestly dude... just relax, i set out to tell you guys a good story, not prove anything...

>>565582841

>button comes back after a few minutes
>she is holding something but I can’t what it is in the dark light
>”roll over faggot” she demands
>I’m not exactly sure what to expect, but it’s unlikely she is going to do anything to weird so I decide to oblige her
>I roll onto my back and she crawls across the bed then straddles herself atop my ass
>”there was blood on my finger tips”
>panic surges through my body as I realise I must have torn her when I fingered her, I try to lift myself up to apologise, “fuck I’m so sorry button, I didn’t mea…”
>she pushes my head back down into the pillow, “it’s not my blood dickhead”
>I feel her plonk something warm and damp on my back… washcloth…
ohisee.xml
>I was aware that my back hurt, but I didn’t think much of it, I like said earlier I enjoy it
>button starts to drag the washcloth over my back
>she is surprisingly gentle about it, after wiping my back for a bit she leans over and turns my bedside lamp on
>“oh…” I hear her exclaim
>”it doesn’t really hurt” I reassure her
>”I didn’t ask if it did…” button responds dryly as she runs her fingers gently across my back, assessing the damage she has caused
>I roll my eyes, not that she can see it
>button is already back on the offensive
>good sign though, she’s obviously totally cool with what we just did
>button leans over and puts the washcloth on the bedside and turns the light back off before hopping off my back and settling down on her side facing me but not touching
>”I’ll be more careful next time…”
nexttime.winrar
>>
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>>565582804
>>
>>565582946

>”I doubt it, I had you on autopilot and I was only in first gear” I throw at her while rolling back over onto my back, I’m not ready to let go of the reigns just yet especially after she just confirmed next time
>”oh listen to you…” button starts as I slide my arm underneath her and drag her over to me, “you get one finger inside me and suddenly you think you’re all king faggot”
>instead of resisting, button moves in to rest a hand on my chest and curl her leg over mine
>she rests her head on my shoulder
>so many mixed feels right now, but none of them are bad, just a mix of satisfaction, contentedness, blue balls and confusion over where we stand as friends
>I remind myself of what button always says, ‘don’t think, just do’
>run my hands up and down buttons hips and waist, taking in her glorious curves
>”goodnight faggot” she mumbles
>”fuck you” I snap lazily
>”not tonight” she replies casually
>I decide to test the waters ,”I’m going to need a cold shower in the morning though…” I cast my bait
>button just makes an amused sort “hahmm”
>she fell asleep shortly after that
>I lay awake with lonerboner and superblueballs thinking about everything that just happened
>think about button cuddled into me sleeping
>fall asleep mostly content

>wake up with morning wood and an uncomfortable amount of precum
>button still hugging me
>fuck we must have slept like logs, light already coming in window
>check phone, 8:12am
>button dead to the world…
>I reach with hand and pull hair from her neck
>start running my fingers lightly up and down her neck, being as soft as possible
>>
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>>565582843
You have posted to many fucking times and always like a faggot. OP is bumping his own shit story on separate IPs. Confirmed for foreveralone faggot
Sage
>>
>>565582779
I imagine this being Button and at the end of the story OP and Button go through a rough patch and her being know to lurk on 4Chan years after moving without OP he decided to share the moment he fell in love with Button who is Heaven, what a twist ending if Heaven is Button.
>>
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>>565582537
>>its like trying to push my finger up a gerbils asshole
what?
>>
>>565582946
Yes its a story, but a fiction story you mong.

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Reported for breaking the rules.

Enjoy your ban.

/thread

sage
>>
>>565583025

>button gets goosbumps all down her neck and arms
>she stirs awake and almost immediately starts to bite her lip
>she makes some cute little noises as she enjoys what I’m doing
>”fuck you anon, this isn’t fair…” she mumbles
>”I’ve had practice, don’t feel bad” I mockingly console her
>button opens her eyes and then leans up and gives me a determined look
>how can anybody look so godamn good right after they have woken up?
>button straddles ontop of me below my crotch, leans forwards and puts her hands on my chest, clearly very awake
>black lacy panties, doubt they were an intentional choice since she grabbed them in darkness last night but still fucking sexy
>”practice huh?” she smiles at me while slowly moving her hands down my chest
>If what I had before was morning wood, what I have at this point can only be described as aircraft grade morning stainless steel
>button reaches my briefs and runs her hands around my cock through the fabric, never taking her eyes off mine
>she starts running her hands up and down my shaft before eventually shuffling further down my legs and pulling my briefs back
UNLEASHTHEKRAKEN.avi
>button looks down at my cervix crusader and then looks back up at me, tilts her head to one side and smiles, “oh really?”
> “really” I reply enthusiastically, nodding
>”well you’re going to have to help me practice faggot…” she admits to me in moment of honesty, she hasn’t done this before
>>
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>>565583028
>OP is bumping his own shit story on separate IPs

yeah, that's totally more likely than the fact that other people are interested in it.
>must be nice in conspiracy theory land
>>
>>565583028
idc if this is fake
the stories good
>hes not 8inches though
>6&1/2 - 7"tops
>im 6" girth youre prolly not girthy
>>
>>565583135
What rule?
>>
bumping on mobile don't die!
>>
lurkin
>>
>>565583257
happy to post pic later if you want

>>565583185

>she takes my cock in her hand and starts working the shaft up and down
>her hands are small and it feels fantastic the way she can only just get them around me
>technique isn’t quite there but I roll my head back for a second and take in the moment
>button is sitting on top of me, my cock in her hand, eager to learn and eager to please
>most win moment of my life, for now…
>I look back down guide her hand slightly lower, like I mentioned before, I’m cut fag so knob is dry and without any lube, hitting while moving up and down hurts
>tell her she can squeeze a bit tighter, longer strokes, etc
>she listens intently and is genuinely interested in learning
>doesn’t even flinch when I explain the important of ball fondeling and how much it can help sometimes, although she did get a little distracted playing with them for a while
>before long she has a good grip and rythem worked out and I can feel myself well on my way to the 100m finish line
>50m mark
>button has to switch hands, “no wonder guys have biceps…” she remarks
>because of cutfag situation, it takes fair bit outside of stimulation to actually get me off unless I do it myself, only slut 3 ever made me cum from head, and even then it was a marathon
>have only cum a couple of times to hand jobs in my life, really gotta have the technique down or it aint gunna happen
>sounds crap but it’s not all bad, I can last like a motha fucka in the sack so I don’t really mind, don’t know any different to be honest so eh…
>button is working my shaft up and down with her soft small hand, cradling my balls with the other hand
>>
>>565583185
bumping for interest.
>>
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>>565583185
Mu-muh pure virgin 10/10 qt3.14159
Are you a wizard OP?
>you are. Everyone with a modicum of intelligence knows this is fact
Sage
>>
>>565583416

>65m mark... I know button is gunna get me there, she has already got the technique pretty much down, I’m blue balling after last night enough to make up for any sloppiness
>”don’t worry if you can’t get me there, only a couple of girls ever had, its just part of being a cutfag” I smile and tease at button, it’s a lie, but I know exactly how she will respond to it
>”fuck you…” she responds… which in button’s language basically translates to ‘challenge accepted’>look of concentration intensifies on her face as she works my shaft even faster
>75m
>she stops jerking all of a sudden and looks at me
>wicked smile comes across her face
shewouldnt.asf
>”how bad do you want to cum?” she asks teasingly
>”… really bad” I know where this is going
>she is slowly stroking my cock, not fast enough to bring me there, but enough to keep my rock hard
>”take ba…” she begins
>”I take back last night, I don’t win, you do… and I’m a faggot”
>she laughs at me, “that bad huh? Fair enough”
>button hops off me and lies back down on the bed
>OH COME ON I EVEN CALLED MYSELF A FAGGOT
>she grips the bottom of her tshirt (the big on of mine from last night, she slept in it) and pulls it up over her head
>OH FUCK YES… BOOBIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>the entire muslim nation wouldn’t be able to bring down these two gravity defying twin towers of holiness
>>
>>565583257
I'm 8.5" long and 5.5" girth.
It's a masterpiece
>>565583028
fuck you. this shit is a pretty nice read and he hasn't shrek'd it yet. I'm the one who moved to their phone (which has fucked wifi) so would be two users.

fuck you


Carry on OP!
>>
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>>565583517
>modicum
how euphoric of you
>>
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>>565580424
>Image showing study of Brit boys kissing
>Everyone knows 90% of Brit males are closet cross dressers and homosexuals
>MFW 1% was left out of study.
>>
>>565583525
Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
Sage
>>
>>565583416
big and cut...
>youknowtherules.timestamp
question
do you feel like they didnt leave you with enough skin?
I fucking hate it........like they assumed that id be under 5" cuz im asian.

>sidenote: love the story + know a 10/10 grill that does the same shit
>>
>>565583517
so you are reading after all? good for you bro!

>>565583525

>she spreads her legs apart and motions me on top of her “come on than”
>I get up and nestle myself between her legs
>she reaches down and grabs a hold of my snot rocket again, because she is about a head shorter than me, she has to stretch her arm
>she pulls on my cock and guides me further up into a better position
>this has the added effect raising her legs even high, and pointing her panty clad pussy slightly more toward the ceiling
>I can’t decide what is more important to look at, buttons face, or the superb perky breasts she has just revealed to me
>she starts working my shaft again
>80m
>I reach down between her legs and slide her panties to one side
>she is already completely drenched
>turns out when button gets wet… she gets really wet…
>I start my sliding my finger in and out of her in a traditional finger bang style
>not enough for her to lose concentration, but enough to encourage her
>90m
>she opens her mouth and starts to breath heavily again as my finger slides in and out of her slick wet snatch
>button is working my shaft up and down with both hands now, the combination of her small hands wrapped around my cock, her glorious tits and glazed over look on her face from my finger banging has my sprinting flat out towards the finish line
>95m
>”button your going to make me cum” I tell her through clenched teeth, double checking for final approval
>she just bites her lip and nods at me
>>
OP, can you pasta this to pastebin?
>>
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>>565583736
how many more are there!? D:
>>
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>>565583683
ITT: sub human faggots trying to get pictures of dicks to satisfy there sheer faggotry
>you parents must be proud
Kill yourselves
Sage
>>
>>565583764
taking puush screenshots of this
>>
>>565583764
I second that. Please? :3
>>
>>565583582
hey I'm mobile buddies!
bump
>>
>>565583857
third
>>
>>565583683
seriously dont mind timestamping, but atm i would have to stop posting, get hard, take the pic... so give me a bit, and actually no, i have JUST enough to still stroke shaft up and down but thankgod... still wish i wasnt cut sometimes

>>565583736

>shit I almost forgot to tell her, “one last thing, when I cum… whatever you do, don’t stop jacking until it’s all out…”
>had an ex do this to me once before, didn’t realise that when yoghurt started flying, that signals the begging of the orgasm… not the end… nothing fucking worse in the world then having a girl stop jerking you just as you bust your nut
>98m, finish line is in sight… in retrospect this has been the easiest 100m race of my life…
>but can see that I’m nearly and works my cock even harder and faster
>i hit the 100m mark and my mind goes fucking blank
>my arse squeezes shut tighter then the London bank vault and I begin firing my man icing all over buttons glorious mounds of vanilla pudding
>button maintains eye contact with me, doesn’t even look down at the imaginary fire I’m attempting extinguish all over her chest
>she keeps jerking like a champ as well, after a bit I have to tell her its ok, she can stop
>I sit back on my legs and begin to survey the battle field, my semi hard field gun is now resting on knickers, still oozing lubricant all over them
>button now props herself up and looks down at her boobs with intense curiously
>cum literally hanging off one of her nipples like something out of a brazzers film
>she dips her finger in a rather large glob on her upper left boob and plays with it between her fingers
>she looks back up at me and says “fuck I wish I could do that!” with complete sincerity
>I literally lose my shit and start laughing
>she smiles at me, “I’m gunna to need a shower”
>I move from between her legs and let her slide over to the edge of the bed where she hops up and starts walking towards the bathroom
>>
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>>565583736
Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
Sage
>>
>>565579539

>truly b… it was glorious… forget dragging your balls through mile of broken glass… fuck the fart and the walkie talkie…
>I would drag my balls through 10 kilometers of piranha infest waters just so I could smell the shit of the bartender who made eye contact with the nurse that held the hand of the mother that gave birth to such a perfect ass

You are truly my kind of /b/ro
Are you aussie? I'm recognising some slang
>>
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>>565583904

>i tried to get a glimpse of her tits now that she was standing missed my chance
>i start to clean knob with a spare towel when button calls out to me, “…are you coming?”
ohhellyesiam.asf
>button is already standing naked under the shower, washing the cum off her boobies… with soap…
soapyboobies2.tiff
>she doesn’t even look at me… until I take my briefs off at which she turns her head and watches me curiously
>I keep my eyes locked on her ass… oh man there is no way I’m not going to give that thing a squeeze now
>”how soon until you can go again?” she enquires seeing that my cock is still limp but still not entirely deflated,
>”depends…” I say as I step up and into the shower, “you would be doing well to get me off with a hand job again anytime soon, and I don’t mean that suggestively, that’s just how I am, I need awhile to recharge”
>”fair enough…” she says as she hands me the bottle of shampoo she brought with her
>she seems completely comfortable with the situation
>”why do you ask?” I enquire as I squeeze a generous handful of shampoo into my hand
>chicks with long hair go through a lot of shampoo… you never realise this as a guy with short hair…
>I start working the shampoo into her hair
>it smells like mangos…
>slut 1 was an apprentice hairdresser when I was dating her, I know it sounds lame as fuck but I picked up a few things from her, mostly through observation
>>
>>565583978
yeah he is aussue
>>
>>565583582
got me in length by 1.5" if that shits true...fuck you lol
got you by.5" girth do i win something?
>>565583807
moms proud of me, dad an-hero'd
>inb4 more edgy comments
>>565583904
idc that much about a dick i like your story
>>
yeah that didn't happen
>>
>>565584018
Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
Sage
>>
>>565583978
you know it

>>565583904

also, i had a slightly longer backstory to this story explaining alot more about our past as friends, would probably shut alot of the sagers up as it makes alot more sense, i cut it out though thinking it would just bore you guys

long story short, button reffers to my ex's as slut 1, slut 2, etc. Incase you were wondering where the refrence came from

>>565584018

>use to practice a lot of things on me, like how to rinse without getting in customers eyes, and when you massage shampoo into hair they do like this finger massage thing that I remember felt fucking amazing, shit like that
>”I want to do it from now on…”
>this takes me completely off guard… in a good way of course but still don’t understand where her head is at and I feel like I need to try and get on the same level
>”you ok with that?” I ask
>”why wouldn’t I be?” she says it like I just asked her the most stupid question in the world
>I think I understand, “so you mean like… friends with benefits sort of thing?”
>”I was thinking more like best friends with benefits…” she corrects me
>I know how gay this sounds (or maybe its just button conditioning me to feel like a faggot every time I say something mushy) but my heart actually skipped a beat when I heard her say that
>i start massaging the shampoo into buttons head with my fingers, again, previous work in my trade has given me above average strength in my fingers so I do a pretty darn good job of this whole head massage thing that I picked up from slut 1
>button lets out an honest “uuunnnggghhh” noise and she sags her shoulders
>”awesome fucking benefits” she corrects herself
>thankyou slut 1, even though your head jobs were about as interesting as dipping my cock in a bucket of warm water… you did impart at least a few useful things on me before you ripped my fucking heart out and ran away
>>
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>>565584150
>>
I don't care if it's fucking true or not. It's a good read and it's making me horny. Continue!
>>
>>565584093
Thank you. Good god, their shit is getting old.
>>
This may be the greatest greentext I've ever read
>>
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>>565584086
I would too if I raised a faggot like you. You are scum and should be shot
Sage
>>
>>565584167

>showerhead is one of those detachable types on flexible metal hose
>I start rinsing the shampoo from buttons hair, careful not to let any run into her eyes
>”your surprisingly good at this” button suddenly realises, “the evidence is starting to mount against you, you realise?”
>I ignore her and keep rinsing the shampoo out of her hair
>”maybe you were a faggot in your past life or something, hmmmm…” she continues to mock
>I finish up with her hair, it’s even longer then I thought when it’s all wet and straight
>i grab a firm hold of her hair at the base of her head and pull her head to one side
>”ugh, gent…” she beings to protest before realising what my intentions are
>I start to kiss down her neck again and her protest turns into more of a soft moan
>release her hair and move both hands towards her ass
itsfuckingbootytime.m4v *I’m literally just googling filename extensions at this point btw
>I grip one half of her badonkadonk in each hand
>uncle reamus stands to attention so quickly he slaps me in the tummy
>”having fun there?” button asks as I start to get carried away playing with her ass and not putting enough attention on her neck
>”my bad”, i work a finger in between her but cheeks and start push it inside her which rewards me with a slight gasp
>de-attach the shower head again and start spraying water at the wall in front of us
>”err… what the fuck are you doing?” button asks me after a bit
>button is so new to this that it makes my dick tingle sometimes
>I re-attach the shower head and then grip her firmly at the base of the neck
>I take my hand from between her legs, put it on her waist and then push her up against the wall
>button almost instinctively arches her back and pokes her ass out (this is one of the best thing you can ever have a girl to do you… makes your dick squirt pure testosterone)
>>
None of this actually happened. And in the small, small chance that it did..it wasn't a 10/10 anything. Because attractive women don't just appear at creepy dude's doorsteps without knowing what they look like, period. What a crock of shit.
>>
>>565584201
>>565584181
>>565584093
Awe someone's upset their faggy story time is getting saged
>>
>>565584264

>”just warming the wall up for you” i say to her as I take my hand off her neck and move it back down between her legs
>I start on her neck again as I slide my finger in and out of her now much more exposed and easy to access pussy
>I keep her back arched by pressing her waist into the wall, at this point she has pretty much given up any sort of resistance and just lets me do as I please
>she has her teeth clenched and is moaning softly every time I push my finger into her
>I slow down a bit and put two of my fingers together, I press them against her glistening hole and gently start to push them in
>”if this starts to hurt, sing out” I tell her
>”I think you are forgetting who the faggot is he…”
>fine, I think as I clamp down on her neck with my teeth and cut her off mid-sentence
>I push my two fingers all the way into her, I can tell she is in some pain because she is gritting her teeth, but I have no doubt if she wanted me to stop then she would throw me off
>I try to be a bit more gentle, and slowly work them in and out, it doesn’t take long before she is stretched out a bit and back to moaning
>I’m not doing anything particularly special at this point, just running my fingers in and out… no g-spot stim, it’s to awkward to do properly from this angle
>this is really just trying to get her used to two fingers
>I release her from the wall and turn her around
>”why did you stop?” she asks, she almost sounds disappointed
>”I was just getting you ready, sit-down in the corner, trust me” I instruct her, corner of the bathshower has a fair bit of room, enough to sit down on
>she doesn’t even hesitate, but does look kind of curious
>I take the opportunity to get a good look at her chest puppies… they really do defy gravity!!!, perky has fuck and not to big, soft littlenipples
>>
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>>565584319
after all your effort, we are still on page 2.
you failed faggot, just leave.
>>
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>>565584231
Hello newfriend. Return to tumblr then kill yourself. This utter shit is a disgrace to green text. You should all be ashamed
Sage
>>
>>565578206
GO AHEAD NIGGERFAGGOT
>>
>>565579539
Bumping incase thread 404s
>>
>>565584319
I don't care if it's being saged. I still found it, didn't I? If you really hate his story that much, why are you here?
>>
>>565584370

>I’m going to have to study them later and possibly right up and science journal about my findings, buttons boobies may just hold the secret to conquering gravity once and for all
>I get down on my knees and push her legs apart, “don’t worry, it’s not what you think” I reassure her, she visibly relaxes as I say this and reaches out to grab the back of my head
>she doesn’t want me looking at her all exposed for too long, still a bit nervous I figure at this point
>i steal a quick glance at her vagoo before going back in to kiss her neck
>flawless ini… completely symmetrical, perfectly shaved, 10/10 would bang
>I get to work quickly and slide two fingers gently back inside of her
>now I’m in the right sort of position, the perfect position in fact
>I put my arm against the wall to hold myself up as I lean right over her and at the same time I wedge my feet against the other side of the bathtub wall so that I can press her into the corner using my thighs without slipping and face planting into her stomach
>I curl both fingers upwards and start to wiggle them against the roof of her cock tunnel and she starts to moan sweet nothings while looking at me
>button puts one hand against my chest, and grabs a hold of my cock with the other and starts to jerk me
>I appreciate the attempt but she can’t concentrate enough for it to be any good
>I start to work my fingers back and forth in and out of her quickly building up pressure and speed
>button grits her teeth, her eyes glaze over and she digs her nails into my chest
>she also squeezes my cock as if it was a bottle of kewpie mayonnaise but It’s worth it for what happens next
>as my fingers start to pummel her g-spot, she very quickly reaches the edge and then flies right off it
>>
>>565584392
>implying I'm the only guy saging this faggot's BS
gg anon you caught me
>>
>>565584409
Look who it is again, ID Heaven. I'm fed up with your shit faggot. The other day when you called me a newfag, yeah, haven't forgotten about that yet. Fuck you I've been on here for months and probably get on here more than you anyways. Don't you know that you make yourself look like a newfag when you call others newfag? Just because you learned how to hack your name and change it to "Heaven" does not give you the right to disrespect anyone at any time.
>>
>>565584461

>she starts cumming like the 4th of July fireworks, I can feel her squirting all over my legs
>her moaning comes in short bursts and sounds like a cross between crying and being tickled to death, it’s hard to explain but it’s hot as fuck
>when women cum, it’s a whole body experience, all their muscles spasm (depending on how hard they are cumming) as opposed us chaps who just sort of feel it down in our groin and get a bit of a shiver
>if you make them cum hard enough, they basically lose control of all muscles, that’s what makes them quiver and spasm like you see in porn movies sometimes, though it’s probably fake there
>realising button is now midway through the most intense orgasm she has most likely ever experienced in her life, I work my fingers in and out of her even faster in an attempt to keep it going as long as I can
>she keeps squirting with each jolt that rocks her body
>a good 15-20 seconds later (count it out, its longer then you think) I slow down and she relaxes her grip on my cock and chest
>her moaning has been reduced to something along the lines of whimpering
>I pull her out of the corner and let her slide down into the tub, I just pull her close and hold her for a bit while the last few waves and spasms roll through her
>I learnt how to do this with slut 3 fyi after I watched that video on redtube, somebody can link it if they think I’m bullshitting or making this up…
>literally reduces girls to a whimpering pile of shaking jello, also, I’m not going to sugar coat it… girl squirt is just piss… if the orgasm is intense enough then the muscle spasms become so much that they just lose control of their bladder and ‘squirt’ out piss with each contraction… sorry to bust anybody’s bubble
>after button gets her shit back together she looks at me, “did I just squirt?”
>”yup… it was pretty hot” I tell her as I help her get to her feet
>>
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>>565584494
>Heaven
>not saging
wow, you are a special kind of stupid arent you?
>>
>>565584240
>inb4'd
>I would too if I raised a faggot like you
>implying i haven't heard that b4
make up something better for me i deserve it
>>
bumping for op on mobile!
>>
>>565577023
How about an actual pic of her?
>>
>>565584573

>”I don’t think I will be able to walk to the movies… my legs feel like jelly”>I reach over and pick up the matching bottle of conditioner that she brought in, “how about homemade pizza and more halo 4 than? We can still go see it tomorrow?”
>button doesn’t respond straight away, she’s clearly weighing the two things up I think to myself as I squirt moisturiser into my hand and begin working it into her hair
>”do you think it would be ok if I stayed here instead of finding my own place?” She finally asks me while I am massaging the conditioner into her head
>my brain opens the dopamine flood gates upon hearing this… my whole body feels like the song fireflies by owl city… most mushiest thing I will probably ever admit to /b/ but I don’t even give a fuck at this point, I’m lost in the moment
>”hmmm…” I pretend to ponder aloud
>button looks back over her shoulder at me with one of her ‘don’t be a faggot’ looks
>”sounds like a good idea to me” I respond, i was going to say something witty but buttons look made me think twice

>we spend the rest of the shower just laughing at how she basically just peed all over me, she tried to describe what it felt like when she was cumming and asked me what it’s like to cum as a dude
>nowhere near as good as chicks unfortunately
>I lathered up her sweater stretches and played with them for a while
>I decided to name them RB and LB
>she called me a faggot
>dontcare, touchedbewbs
>we got out of shower and dried each other off, buttons plays with my balls for a bit… apparently girls find them incredibly fascinating
>I paid extra attention to RB and LB as well as much lower down but equally impressive RT and LT
>may have got called a faggot a second time upon declaring those names
>button slipped into that shirtdress thing again because I told her how much I liked it
>she then proceeded NOT to put any underwear on
>>
>>565582946
Lol, kind of reminds me of that time I had a girl break her window as I went down on her. Found out a few days later when her roommate noticed the cracked glass coming home one afternoon.
>>
dang op fast forward to you taking button's virginity

here's an example of me taking my ex's virginity:
>parents out of town
>ask ex if she wants to come over
>she says yes and i pick her up
>we're at my house and i lead her up to my room
>start making out
>slip a condom on and begin to fuck
>cum buckets
>go to ihop afterwards
>>
>>565584758
>asked me if I was cool with just spending the day in because her legs were still shaking
lolisthatevenaquestion.wav
>I gather any dirty washing we have including the couple of panties she went through over the last few days, one has my dry cum on the top of them from when she jacked me off this morning, but both of them have a noticeable patch on the bottom from where she was leaking engine oil once I hit her ignition switch
>button has dragged a hairdryer out of her suitcase and is blow drying her hair in the mirror
>I grab her bum on the way past her to put the laundry into the washing machine
>”let me guess, you’re an expert with the blow dryer aswell?” she teases at me
>”actually… that’s probably the one thing I haven’t ever done, though how hard could it be?” it’s the truth… “but I do have a wet to dry straightener in the draw, and I’m not half bad with that” I continue while I’m adding some fabric softener to the washing machine
>demsoftundies
>button flicks her hair to one side, still drying it as she turns to face me with an ‘are you serious’ smile… I already know what’s coming… instantly regret saying that
>”yeah yeah I know, I’m a faggot blah blah… it’s a long story, but when you have girls over often enough sometimes its handy to just have backup things like that” I’m try to justify my existence as a man, “otherwise its hours of whining over not being able to go out because of wet hair or not straight hair…”
>button is still smiling at me through the mirror as i attempt to salvaged what is left of my dignity, “fair enough…”
>phew
>”but that doesn’t explain how you became ‘not half bad’ with them”
>”well…” I barely even get a chance to begin
>>
>>565584392
Newfag spotted.
We are Heaven. We are one. Will we add your uniqueness and technology to our own. You Will be Assimilated. Resistance is Futile.
Sage
>>
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>>565584893
keep on trying /b/ro
we're on page 1 now btw
>>
>>565584857

>”faggot” button declares smiling and turning her attention back towards her hair
>start washing machine up and move over behind button, I place one hand on her hip and I reach around the front of her and push my hand inbetween her legs, gripping her snatch through the fabric of her shirt
>”fine, but you can’t deny some of my skills are rather impressive” I whisper in her ear while looking at her in the mirror
>but just stands there and smiles back at me as I move in to kiss her neck
>”I admit nothing!” she points the hair dryer in my face and blasts me with hot air
>fine, button can have this one then, I give her a decent smack on the ass and walk out of the bathroom, “this morning was second gear...” I call back at her, turning back to check her reaction
>button is watching me walk away; she bites her lip at me and then pokes her ass out and gives it a wiggle, “really? I thought you were still in first…”
>ohyoufuckingaskedforit
>I turn around and start walking back towards her
>button turns to face me and takes a sort of firing stance, legs apart and hairdryer held out infront of her like a gun pointed at me
>it’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen her do, doesn’t help her cause at all
>I’m going to enjoy this…
>I pull my shirt off over my head and throw it in the corner
>she steps back slightly as walk right up to her, her expression has changed from cute confident smile to too ‘oh shit’
>I pull the hairdryer out of her hands and yank the cord out of the socket, throwing aside into the dirty laundry bin
>button just standing there, unsure what is about to happen, she hesitates as I start towards her again
>>
>>565577023
OP, whether this happened or not, it's a fun read. Keep going! Also, PC games at all? Steam?
>>
>>565584573
>4th of July.
Bu-but I'm an ausfag you guise.
You shit story has more holes than a toddler at sandy hook
Sage
>>
>>565580424
>2000+14
>sage
>sage with img...
god you suck
>>
>>565584991

the dirty laundry bin
>button just standing there, unsure what is about to happen, she hesitates as I start towards her again
>thinking back, must have looked like I was about to rape her or something
>grab her around the waist firmly and throw her against the wall, forcefully, but not enough to really hurt her
>pull the hair away from one side of her neck and move straight in to start kissing it
>put my weight against her body and pin her down
>feel one of her hands grab hold of my hair at the back of my head, nope… I reach back grabbing her wrist and then pin her hand up against above her head
>button makes cute little moans each time I press harder or bite down on her neck
>when I’m confident she is enjoying things enough I release her hand and reach down under her thighs, hoisting her up and then slamming her back into the wall again… this time not so gently either
>she wraps her legs around me tighter than an anaconda’s death grip
>I don’t even need to hold her up, so I move my hands back up and grip either said of her waist, pinning her against the wall while I go to town on her neck
>button has one hand digging into my upper back and the other gripping the back of my head, pushing me into her neck
>i take one hand off her waist and hook it back under her thigh, pulling her shirtdress thing back far enough to reveal her juicebox, and I use that term for a good reason
>no preparation needed, I slip two fingers inside of her as best I can giving the current situation
>I can’t quite tickle her g-spot properly, but combined with everything else its enough to get her over the edge pretty quickly
>she locks her legs around me so tightly I swear she is about split me in half like something out of a cheesy 90’s action flick
>>
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>>565585080
>hurr he's not from america so he can't offhandedly reference the 4th of july
>>
>>565585080
your right, i dont even know what the 4th of july is for, i also have no idea how tight a gerbils ass is... go figure

>>565585119

>I clamp down on her neck when I feel her starting to cum and work my finger as best as I can
>”ffffuuuuuccckkkkkk…” she whimpers through gritted teeth
>I release her and let her slide back down the wall onto her feet, her hair is a fucking mess, her eyes are kind of vacant and she is still huffing and puffing from the intensity of the moment
>she looks up at me but doesn’t say anything
>I give her a serious look, “careful how you tease me, I may not be able to hold back next time”
>button looks like she is about to burst out laughing, “nope, try again… something more badass”
>should’ve known this sort of shit wouldn’t fly with her, “next time I won’t be so gentle” I offer her, trying to keep my look and tone serious
>”to cliché… “ she shakes her head
>”well what do you suggest” I ask her coldly
>”how about…”, button adopts a serious face and tone “next time I’ll ravage your asshole like a true faggot”
>”fine…” I give up and start walking back out of the bathroom
>”oh come on anon… don’t get all butt hurt!” she calls out after me
>I’m not really, more disappointed that I cheesed up the ending to my little power display

>I let button know that I’m going to duck down to the shops quickly to get stuff for pizza, i mostly just need a couple of bases and some shredded mozzarella
>”is there a chemist nearby?” button asks me suddenly as I’m putting on something suitable for going out
>”yeah there is, it’s just across the road from the supermarket I’m going to” I respond
>button contemplates this for a bit, I guess trying to decide if whatever she needs is important enough to bother walking with jelly legs
>”it’s literally just a block away, it’s not a long walk or anything” I let her know
>>
>>565584845
i like this game
>parents busy prepping for move
>girl asked me to help her prep
>carry box to room
>box is for bed stuff
>play with eachother+blankets+pillows
>play with her pillows
>somehow she gets archbacked on top of sheets on floor
>pull down tights + slam w/ dick
>lost virginity, realize i couldnt have done that with virgin....lying cunt
>>
>>565585196

>doesn’t take much effort to deduce that its most likely the pill, presuming her text message the other day had truth to it despite sent to mock to me
>button gets up and starts pulling some things out of her suitcase
>it’s a little overcast and windy today, looks like it may very well rain later as well
>looks like staying in was the right choice anyway, though I am pretty keen to see the hobbit
>button slips on a pretty stock looking purple bra and a pair of high riding blue knickers, probably closer to a g-string then undies but I don’t know the name of the style… either way I can’t do anything but stand and stare
>she then decides on a pair of skintight jeans, which explains the g-style knickers... the way she wiggles her hips and practically peels this thing onto her is one hell of a sight
>finishes with off with that dark blue hoodie with the cute little ears on it
>its an incredible contrast, to see her wearing such a cute outfit, soft brown eyes and long dark hair… but to know what she is really like
>I can imagine the way guys must approach her, as if she were Russian porcelain doll, a trophy even… fuck she must hate that
>we step out of the apartment and I lock the door, button grips the handrail particularly tight as she makes her way down the flight of stairs
>gives me a satisfied feeling know it was my doing
>I put my hands in my pockets as we walk side by side down to the shops
>button loops her arm through mine and holds on with both hands, “stop being butthurt faggot, I can’t let you win all the time you know that”
>any disappointment I had about my failed attempt at asserting my manliness earlier is instantly melted away
>”you let me win… oh is that how it is!” I exclaim
>”well if i shot you down every time then you wouldn’t bother keep trying harder…” she remarks smugly
>>
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>>565585105
>implying it's fucking 2006 and images bump even with sage
Kill yourself
Sage
>>
>>565583416
yes please, pic of dick would be good
>>
Dear /thread,

Heaven, Sr. reporting.

Yes, we have been having some problems with the training of our younger recruits. It has been an overwhelming challenge to school these young kids in the art of shitposting and trolling. Sometimes, like ITT, they branch out on their own, such as >>565584893
who was expelled for violating Heaven Academy protocols and curfews, so my sincerest apologies for the distraction.

Regards,
Heaven, Sr.
>>
This is written like a huge ass fan fiction.
>>
>>565585297

>we both know we are talking out our ass’s… but it’s a fun little charade
>at least I’m pretty sure it is… I mean I did turn her legs to jelly?
>either way I feel like she has just grabbed me by the feet and planted me back on solid ground, something I’m actually rather grateful for
>”well I’m glad to hear you are enjoying yourself” I say dryly
>”don’t try to pull that bullshit on me faggot… you’re the one that said you needed some time to recharge”
>thisistrue
>I would be doing really well to cum two or more times in one day, if I’m on my own I wank maybe once a day, skip a day here and there
>my only redeeming quality is that, like I mentioned before, I can run a marathon in the sack
>we continue down to shops, discussing what we each want on our pizza
>stop out front of supermarket and point her towards the pharmacy on the other side of the street, “I’ll meet you inside when I’m done with the shopping”
>”don’t forget the olives” she calls out as I enter the shop
>grab all the things I needed and then head across the road and into the pharmacy
>I can see button sitting on a chair up the back at the script section
>easy to tell it’s her… only person in the shop wearing a hoodie with ears on the top
>don’t want to get all up in her stuff in case the script is rather personal
>start browsing isles, get to personal hygiene isle, skip past condoms and lube, I still have some at home
>deodorant! Fuck, lucky I came here after all or I would’ve completely forgot
>start checking out the different types, don’t want to get the same as last time coz it was slut 3’s favourite and, well you know how it is
>>
Lurking and bumping because reasons.
>>
>>565585420

>pick one out and spray on wrist… meh… guess it will do
>button suddenly in front of me, she grabs my wrist and smells it herself, she screws her face up and shakes her head “nope”
>she picks out a few others and tries them on various parts of my arm
>”I don’t mind that one…” I say after smelling one that seemed particularly masculine
>”sure… if your intention is to be butt raped in the gym showers by a gay weight lifter”
>wellshitidontknowthen
>few more choices later she seems to find one she likes, I say that because she doesn’t immediately return it to the shelf
>button brings the can up to my neck and sprays a bit onto me
>she moves towards me, presses herself into me and then gets up on tip toes
>”kiss my neck” she instructs me as she tilts her head to one side
>I move in and give her a couple of gentle kisses, I feel a bit awkward, being in a chemist but I’m not going to argue
>I move back away and button is now looking at me, biting her lip, “definitely that one…” she confirms
>10 minutes of deoderant hunting completely worth it
>button collects her script and we both take our things to the front counter to pay
>I see the name on the medication box and figure out what it is even though I haven’t seen that particular pill before, ‘Yasmin’
>most of the contraceptive pills have feminine names like ‘diane’ and ‘brenda’… chicks are weird like that…
>they do the same shit with their tampons… all fucking rainbow colour wrappers with stripes and shit… fuck it, just accept it for what it is, bullet shaped ammunition for your baby canon
>>
>>565585430
Fuck off back to reddit you cunt
Sage
>>
PASTA THIS TO PASTEBIN PLEASE
>>
somebody please screen cap
>>
>>565585080
shes american
she told him it while balls deep in her
>jelly neckbeard spotted
>>
>>565585512

>we exit shop and I open the grocery bag up, motioning for button to put the little paper chemist bag in
>she obliges and a takes my arm again like before
>”are you 100% positive you got the right deodorant?” I ask her mockingly
>”I just tried to find one that I liked and didn’t remind me of my brothers” she replies honestly
>pretty fair call… I didn’t even think about that
>”the fact it turned me on was a bonus though” she continues
>i spend the next 5 minutes feeling pretty fucking good about life
>this has turned out to be pretty much the best morning of my life so far, so much good feels, plus bewbs, handjob and button wants be roommates/friends with benifits
>”you know, people are going to think we are a couple walking around like this” I cast my line out, fishing for a response
>”well if they ask, you can correct them say we are just fuck buddies” button offers with a shrug
>interesting response... I decide to recast, “we haven’t fucked though…”
>”well what would you prefer…” button begins, “this is my best friend whom I haven’t kissed but I finger bang several times a day and get handjobs from” she teases at me
>at this point I’m suddenly very aware of the fact I haven’t kissed her yet and I’m trying to decide what that may or may not imply
>although I’ve thought about doing it a few times before, I know that it is bound to be an awkward experience while she is huffing and puffing with my fingers wedged up her cave of wonders
>>
>>565585512
Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children's game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent's ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s.
Sage
>>
>>565585543
>>565585582
i am coping all of this into a word and will upload to google drive or some shit
>>
>>565585664
make a fucking thread about it idc..; i need this...
>>
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>>565585596
>actually believing any of this bullshit
Sage
>>
>>565585664
please do
>>
>>565585664
*copying
>>
>>565585620

>I’m already guessing she hasn’t had a whole lot of practice at it or anything and there is definitely a technique to a good kiss, and everybody has their own preferred method
>”have you ever kissed a guy?” I ask her curiously
>”yes but not in same way you’re thinking about kissing me right now…”
>”how…” I begin as I turn to her, not that it’s a mystery… she mentions kissing and I go off to la la land for half the block
>she looks at me smiling “I’m the little princess to 4 older brothers and a very proud father, I grew up with more kisses then I cared for”
>iseewhatyoumean
>”little princess my ass…” I think out loud
>starting to get really overcast as this point
>we reach my place and start climbing the stairs, button in front of me…
>I’ve never enjoyed the climb up to my front door so much in my life… datass
>unlock door and pass button her paperbag before heading to the kitchen to start unpacking
>”ok, no more going out… rest of the day is on the couch” I remark out loud and glance over at button
>she has already slipped that shirtdress back on and is sitting back on the couch working the jeans off
>that was quick… though I do pretty much the same thing whenever I get home, comfy shirt and free balling in a pair of sweatpants or loose shorts
>its getting close to 11am by now, time flies when you’re a faggot
>”do you want to make the pizzas now and then contin…ue…” midway through that sentence I glance over at button just in time to watch her slip out of the knickers she was wearing and throw them on the floor by my bed
>”continue the campaign?” she looks at me expressionlessly
>”yeah… that”
>only good things can come of this recent development… I am positive
>>
>>565580874
>just watching her make a sammich in my kitchen is at least 10 times more euphoric then injecting meth into your asshole while preaching atheism to a crowd of MLP fans while wearing a diamond studded fedora
oh god I gonna use this
>>
>>565585748
Go back to SageChan, faggot.
>>
Lurkin.
>>
This must be documented for future generations.
>>
>>565585748

>thinking your opinion matters

fuck off faggot
>>
Lurking this good good
>>
>>565585878
stop reading and post faster
>>
>>565585776
>starting to get really overcast at this point

...
>>
>>565585412
>This is written like a huge ass fan fiction.
That's because it is. Nobody seriously believes this happened anywhere but in OP's creative writing class right? Attractive women (that apparently play ps all day lol)don't show up at random creepy fat dude's houses without knowing what they look like, period. This is fiction.
>>
sorry if im not replying to your posts guys, just kinda sick of the sage bullshit so im just chain posting and listening to music

>>565585776

>I cut up some toppings while button spreads some pizza sauce on the two bases
>we put on toppings, argue over the importance of olives, and then button puts them in the oven while I go and take a seat on the couch
>this is where things get interesting
>button comes over and I hand her a controller, but she puts it aside and then straddles atop my crotch and looks at me with intent
>her eyes flick down to my lips and back up, doesn’t take much to figure out what she is thinking
>there’s only two possible things that could be going through her head and I decide to take a page out of her book and call out the situation for what it is
>”are you unsure, or just unsure how” I ask her bluntly… I figure if she is unsure in general then its best to let her make the move so that it’s her choice, but if it’s just a matter of not knowing where to start then that makes things easy for me
>her reply comes almost instantly, “second one”
>well then… that makes things easy, I figure I’ll flip down onto her back and show her how it’s done
>I go to put my plan in action but before I can get up she pushes me back down again
>”calm your tits, this isn’t rocket science, you don’t need to hold my hand through everything”
>alright… I guess I’ll take the bench on this one
>button is studying my lips, I cant help but notice hers, how soft and tasty they look… is she wearing lipgloss?? Damn they are shiny… I wonder what they taste like, is this a good idea? what does it mean when best friends kiss?
>holy shit why is my heart pounding so much
>>
I've been edging for the last 10 minutes.

Have mercy OP. Release me from my suffering.
>>
>>565585953
Yeah, my retard alarm went off as well.
>>
>>565585981

I've been edging for the last 10 minutes.

Have mercy OP. Release me from this torment and get to the fuck.
>>
>>565585985

oh dude... but best bits havent even come yet bro?

>>565585981

>look back up and button is looking me into my eyes again, she takes one hand off my chest and puts it on the side of my head and then moves in for the main event
>my heart is thumping out of my fucking chest…
>halo 4 theme song is playing in background
>most surreal moment of my life
>everything is moving in slow mo… no wait… button is just moving really slow
>our lips finally meet
>the halo 4 theme adds this utterly epic atmosphere to the entire thing, feels like i am in the kiss scene of Michael bay blockbuster, cars and fruit stands and babies blowing up all around me
>button pauses, s little unsure what to do next so I try to guide her with my lips, soft and slow kisses
>place one hand on her hip, not to low… don’t want to ruin the mood
>put another hand around her neck, my thumb running up her cheek
>she responds to this by kissing a little more deeply, so I start to introduce a tiny bit of tounge, but not too much
>to much tongue can ruin things unless you are drumming your balls against a girls asshole at 240bbm getting ready to drop the bass inside her
>button gets into the rhythm of things pretty quickly and before I know it she is the one leading
>damn this girl picks things up quick
>>
I feel so sleepy might be last bump for you op
>>
>>565585972
This, also sage
>>
>>565586098
OP you're not going to finish before this thread hits bump limit are you?
>>
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>>565579338
>>I stayed up for another hour or so thinking about how glorious it would be to go balls deep in her ass and bust this king kong load I was nursing in my yoghurt factories

King kong load
>>
>>565586098
how many more fucking posts are there dude, just give an estimate.
>>
>>565586115

no worries bud, ill upload doco later on, it will float around

>>565586098

>after a bit she backs off, she hasn’t quite got the breathing down yet and needs to get some air in, other that, would not have guessed it was her first time
>she looks at me for a bit, she has her standard neutral sort of look… teeth together and lips slightly parted... I don’t have a clue what she is thinking
>her eyes dart between my lips and my eyes a few times
>she definitely wants more, I figure I have about 20 minutes before the pizza is ready, just enough time if I am quick
>”now can I show you something?” I ask her
>button doesn’t say anything but gives a little enthusiastic nod almost instantly
>gotta love that healthy 18yr old libido
>I put my arm around her and flip her onto her back down along the couch like I had intended to earlier
>”but it’s a little sore so not that” she informs me
>I had figured this might be the case, considering everything we did this morning, “that’s ok, I wasn’t planning on using my fingers”
>before she has time to think about what i was implying I move back in and kiss her again
>her legs wrap around my back and she runs one of her hands through my hair
>as much as I’m enjoying the kissing, I have other plans
>I’m feeling particularly happy with everything at the moment an want to treat her to something
>also pizza is in the oven so I’m on the clock
>start to move away from her mouth and work my way down to her neck
>continue to kiss down her neck until I reach her collarbone, and then down further
>grab the bottom of her shirt and lift it up revealing her ripe melons
>>
>>565586185
>>565586098
this, i must finish this story
>>
ITT: see pretty girl and imagine life together2.0
>>
>>565585878
lol heavens responses are typical
almost obligatory
dw about em i wanna readsumcherrypopn
>>
>>565586235
halfway
>>565586185
prop not... halp... what do?

>>565586241

>spend a moment going around each nipple, playing with them in my mouth
>by this stage she has figured things out and she is getting a bit nervous
>I’m making my down the bottom of her ribcage
>”it’s the middle of the day…” she half protests
>”you have a wonderful looking vagina” I offer her in between kisses, “just relax”
>”fuck you…” she snaps, but the way she is running her fingers through my hair tells me she doesn’t mean it to harshly
>just passed her belly button at this point, natural, no piercing I might add, not really her style when I think about it
>I loop one arm under her thigh as I start to get into position, I’m just kissing past her bikini line at this point
>loop the other arm under, I’m starting to hit shaved skin, I stop and look up at her, one last final check, “I can stop if you really want?” I tease
>she looks down at me, biting her lip again and after a short pause she quickly shakes her head
>start to kiss close and closer to the top of her delicious slit, start running my hands up along her hips and waist
>normally I would do a bit of teasing at this point but time isn’t going to allow for it
>I plant the first kiss on her clit, then start to drag my tongue down in between her lips
>I’m met with nothing short of the amazon river in flood season
>for those of you wondering, assuming it’s a nice clean girl with no yeast problems or anything, pussy juice just taste like slightly salty nothing… supposedly its almost identical to snot, the runny sort you have when you have a cold
>gross I know but when its leaking out of a girls glorious pink canoe, it’s like delicious salty nectar
>I run my tongue down to her now quite tender opening and then use my tongue as a scoop to drag a load of juice back up and onto her clit to get everything lubricated
>>
go on
>>
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>>565585878
The only thing faggoter than you is OP and his horrible foreveralone terribly written shit story
Sage
>>
>>565586386
HALFWAY! ARE YOU FUCKING SHITING ME OP
>>
>>565586386

>start pushing my tongue through her various folds, searching for the little man that steers the pink canoe>button grips a hold of my hair suddenly
>found you, you little fucker
>I get into a boxing match with the elusive little shit, beating him back and forth with my tongue
>he’s one of the smaller captains I have come across, so he keeps slipping away
>button is already starting to quiver and the noises she is making are causing my cock to leak in my briefs
>I reach down with one hand and gently pull the top of her mound back to keep things nice and exposed
>I resume my fisty cuffs session with captain of the pink canoe
>button is start to move around a bit and its getting hard to throw accurate tongue punches
>another thing I have learnt that is holding a girl down during this isn’t always the best thing to do, it works against them, well at least the ones I have done this on, maybe some like it I don’t know
>no the trick I found is to ride out her movements, keep your neck relaxed and move with her
>so here i am, between buttons legs, riding the her stormy waves of pleasure rippling through out her body
>me and the captain of the boat are battling for control, I follow him wherever he goes, throwing punch after punch, hanging on for dear life as the waves rock the boat all around me
>the final wave is in sight… I can see it approaching in the distance my /b/rothers
>she be a mighty wave, atleast 30ft tall!
>if I don’t start defeat the captain and take control of the ship timer is going to go off and the ship will sink
>button is chearing me on with her, now quite audible, moans of encouragement
>I make one final push against the captain, flicking him back and forth rapidly, knocking the fucking shit out of him
>>
>>565586434
BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP
>>
Bumping again.
>>
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>>565586464
>>
>>565577023
>>
>>565586434
I'm glad you are here to share this moment with me... I... I think I love you heaven?

>>565586479

>button grips onto my hair as if she was trying to tear it out… scared she actually might
>the wave hits and I nearly get thrown overboard
>button almost cunt butts me in the head, she lets out a broken cry… “fuuu…uuu…ccc…kkkkkkkkkkknnnnnngggggggg….”
>victory is mine, I pull my tongue away from her defeated clit and start to drag it up and down her glistening pussy
>just like a guys knob, most girls tend to get overly sensitive right after they come, so backing off at the right moment can be key
>but I keep up a bit of external stimulation, drinking up her nectar as if it were a gift from the fountain of youth, riding out the remnants of buttons orgasm
>I pull her shirt down back over her while she lays there recovering
>move back between her legs and crawl up over her
>her eyes are glazed over and half open as she just stares at me, panting
>move in and give her a few pecks on the check and then tender long kiss on the lips
>alarm goes off
dattiming.iso
>”see how much fun kissing is?” I call at her as I head to the kitchen
>its corny… but I’m trying to enjoy my moment of victory as best I can before she shoots me back down
>it’s raining outside, didn’t even notice it start
>I pull the pizzas out of the oven a then head to the bathroom, figure she is probably gunna need a hand towel to mop up after that tongue hurricane that just passed through
>just as I’m about to slide open the bathroom door I hear footsteps behind me
>>
>>565586386
>prop not... halp... what do?
Start a new thread and post a link so we know where you're off to.
>>
>>565586386
>halfway? shit this might be the longest greentexted story ever.
and so help me god if this ends in an 'on the floor' type situation i will find you and carve you up like a christmas turkey. been fightin off the heavens way too long for it to end like that.
>>
File: 1407266052843.gif (2 MB, 853x480) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1407266052843.gif
2 MB, 853x480
this is a copy pasta of some erotic story book
>>
>>565586643
Stop hoping against hope
>>
fucking BUMP MORE
>>
>>565586327
>ITT: see pretty girl and imagine life together2.0
Obviously. In reality, nobody could actually recount all this if it were to actually transpire. This is shitty fake made up story.
>>
>>565586814
Or sage more
>>
File: 1361971363042.gif (86 KB, 500x333) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1361971363042.gif
86 KB, 500x333
>>565586805
oh fuck off.
>>
>>565586572

thread continued here

>>565586848
>>565586848
>>565586848
>>565586848
>>565586848
>>
>>565586479
I was serious interested in this thread but now I've lost interest, it's like reading a erotic novel.
Interesting titles for this thread.
50ShadesOfChan
50ShadesOfNeckBeard
50ShadesOfChins
>>
>>565586817
Yeah, of course it's fake, ever read the top page of /b/? I'm enjoying this fucking story.

And FUCK YOU Heaven
>>
hurry up, im already at the end of what you've posted! MOARBOARWANTSMORE.JPG
>>
>>565586572

>look behind me and see none other than marshall bruce "eminem" mathers III
>suddenly realise what's actually been transpiring the past few days
>my best friend button is actually eminem and this girl is one of his many slave women
>he calls me a faggot and says that he will always be the alpha in our relationship
>i let out a huge sigh and tell him there's nothing i want more
>my spaghetti starts overflowing out of my pockets
>eminem's spaghetti begins dripping out of his mouth slowly like a leaky shower
>"button"s spaghetti already began leaving its can earlier on, but is now streaming out of her slit
>we all go spaghetti now, i had one shot to not miss eminem's spaghetti and i made it
>>
Inb4 [email protected]

Love the story OP, pls keep going
>>
Keep going bro
>>
What's with all the hate? I'm diggin the story
Thread replies: 303
Thread images: 62
Thread DB ID: 12048



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