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fucked up jokes go.
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 58
Thread images: 9
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fucked up jokes go.
pic unrelated
>>
>>565533603
Last night i raped a jewish girl, you would not believe how tight she was....

cheeky bitch borrowed my phone to call the police
>>
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.
>>
bump cos I need more fucked up joke
>>
>>565533603
I asked a Jewish girl for her number the other day

it was very convenient that she had it tattooed on her arm
>>
A 6 year old and a pedophile are walking through a dark and murky forest one night.

The child says: 'Gee mister this place sure is scary!'

The man replies: 'How do you think I feel? I've got to walk out of here alone!'
>>
Q: What is the hardest thing on killing a woman?

A: my dick
>>
Q: what is the difference between a porsche and a dead baby?

A: I dont want a porsche
>>
How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit?

> 9 months
>>
>>565533603
What do you call a girl thar has no legs?
>>
>>565537526
Disabled
>>
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>>565533603
>[G]old
>>
what do natives and beer bottles have in common?
you can find them both laying on the side of the road
>>
Diference between a tree and baby?
trees don't scream when you rip their limbs off!
>>
>>565540314
only funny one in this thread
>>
>>565540486
Guess what? I made it.
Difference between a baby and a stop sign?
I stop at stop signs.
>>
>>565533603
What's worse than 3 babies nail to a tree?

1 baby nailed to 3 trees.
>>
>>565540658
it has unlimited potential.

Difference between a telephone pole and a baby?
Telephone pole doesn't scream when you nail a "Missing Dog" poster to it.
>>
>>565541078
I lost my shit at that
>>
What did the cop say when an apartment building burned down on Wednesday at 1:30pm?
Why are there so many dead niggers here?
>>
>Be Easter season
>Be drivin box truck
>see sad black boy with broken bike on road
>give him a ride
>get pulled over for speeding
>checks my load of giant chocolate eggs
>Sees black boy, bike, and a broken egg
>Rushes to car immediately calls for backup
>says "We need some back up, theres a load of nigger eggs and one of them has already hatched and a bike was stolen"
>>
>>565533603
What's the best way to get a baby in a blender?
>feet first so you see the facial expressions
What's the best way to get a baby out of a blender?
>nachoooos
>>
What's the difference between a baby and an orange? oranges dont scream when i peel them and fuck them
>>
Go to pharmacy, ask for birth control for my 11-year-old daugter. Terrified and confused, he asks "Your 11-year-old daughter is sexually active". I say "Nah, she just kinda lies down and cries".
>>
Difference between a baby and a paper?
paper burns at 451
>>
>>565542663
boring after the second baby joke
>>
>>565542802
give it a try
>>
>>565533603
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

I don't cum on a watermelon before I eat it.
>>
What do you get when you cut a baby with razor blades?

An erection
>>
>>565541906
Or head first so you can still fuck it.
>>
>>565536727
aayyy

>babies fucking suck
>>
Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you."

So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind."

The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out!

"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.'

The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded!

"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible.

"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"

The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I told the genie "Give me a big fucking orange head"
>>
ZOMG I LOL'd

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Octopus?
I don't know either, but it sure can hang drywall!
>>
>>565542663
Shit...I never put that together. I feel like an idiot now for understanding the full meaning behind Fahrenheit 451. In my defense, it's been a long ass time since I read it.
>>
>>565544656
>full meaning
>what the title means
>>
>>565543698
I died
>>
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2 jews walk into a pet store.
parakeet says "cheep, cheep"
>>
>>565544534
well gee
that took a while to get
>>
>>565533603
WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS WOMEN'S RIGHTS
>>
How do you make a Jewish girl pissed off?

You cum in her hair and on the drapes.
>>
>>565544534
decent
>>
>>565544534
The fuck, I dont get it.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
>>
What does a babby look like after two minutes in the microwave?

I don't know either, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
>>
How do you make a little boy cry twice?

Wipe your bloody dick with his teddy bear.
>>
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>>565544597
>>
Two homos are sharing a bath.
The first one sees a trail of cum floating in the water, he asks "Did you just wanked?!"
The second faggot replies "naa, I farted."
>>
I'm not racist.
I have a color TV.
>>
How do you know when your sister has been raped on her period?

When your dad's cock tastes like blood.
>>
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Whaddaya get when you cross a nigger with a gay Eskimo?

>a snowblower that doesn't work
>>
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Not really offensive, but offensive to some.
>>
What is the hardest thing about being a pedophile?

Just trying to fit in.
>>
did you b/ros know..the president of the united states is a nigger?

yeah...a nigger for christs sakes

just found this out yesturday...
>>
how do you stop a baby from choking?

You pull your dick out of its mouth.
>>
>>565541078

what's the difference between a fridge and a baby?

a fridge doesn't cry when I put my meat in it
>>
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>>565548127
How do you stop it from crying?

You put it back in.
>>
>>565533603
Whats the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?

I dont fuck my sandwich before I eat it.
>>
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How do you starve a nigger to death?

Hide their welfare cheque under their work boots.
>>
>>565545634
Only one to make me laugh so far
Thread replies: 58
Thread images: 9
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