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I'm a pathetic loser, here are my shitty...
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I'm a pathetic loser, here are my shitty life stats:

>male
>turning 23 in a week
>5'8" 280 lbs
>kissless virgin
>most female contact I've had was signing my name on some fat slut's boobs in highschool
>highschool diploma
>live with my parents
>no job
>get $50 allowance every week from my parents
>play vidya all day long
>socially retarded with no friends

I'm fully aware that I have nobody to blame but myself. I don't even know where to start. Other than killing myself what should I do?
>>
>>564099534
Go to school and study something that will net you a lot of money like engineering
>>
>>564099534
>play vidya all day long

there is your problem fatty.
>>
>>564099534
what i did was go to the gym, get in shape, nothing like running to clear the mind, got some confidence, still not there, im 23 and applying to do an access course to go university
>>
>Start exercising
>Get a job
>Try to get into a tech school or associates program
>Don't be a bitch, be a fucking man
>>
Work out, you fat shit. Or stop getting your hands on so many damn Cheetos and sodas. Eat healthier
>>
>>564099534
You answered it for yourself:
>Other than killing myself
>>
>>564099621
this
>>
>>564099667

I plan on changing my life starting Monday. No more video games and I'm going to look into getting a job.

>>564099621
I'm too broke for school
>>
>>564099834
Take out loans faggot
>>
Don't worry open I was the same except the virgin part I lost about 90 pounds started school.and started traveling all over the states going to Asia soon too but these were all side effects of me becoming homeless so Idk wat I can really say I get jobs too got one paying me 800 a week but its only temp and ill blow it all.on travel
>>
>>564099834
Do your parents and kill yourself.
>>
>>564099534

OK, so make some changes. Buy or steal a bicycle and ride it a few miles every day if you live in an area where that won't get you killed. Stop eating crap, start eating vegetables and salad and drink plain water, not soda pop or energy drinks. NO fast food. Buy a 5 lb dumbbell and do some simple exercises with it every day.

The whole sex thing isn't all that great, honestly, it turns a romance into a pressure cooker that's more about fucking and control than it is romance.

Learn Javascript and get a job.

STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF and make the changes.
>>
>>564099534
Kill yourself you fat disgusting fuck
>>
>>564099534
>get a job
>study
>lift
>>
Lift.
>>
>>564099834
Chances are if you can't quit at this moment, you won't quit come Monday. No sense in putting off change till the start of a new week. Not like the weeks mean anything to you anyway, because you don't do shit.
>>
>>564099834
>too broke
If you really fucking cared, you'd go out and just go to school. Do you have chronic social anxiety? If so, then get some meds for it and still fucking go to school. Come on m8
>>
Just go fucking hard for the next six months.
>Get a job
>Get meds if you're depressed
>Get a car
>Hone in your social skills (http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/)
>Find people to hang out with (Everyone loves weed)
>Get in shape
>Get some hobbies

If you try your best at all of the above and are still just as pathetic in 6 months, it's time to an hero.
>>
>>564100184
winrar
>>
>>564099834
See how much u can get in grants via financial aid and start at community college then transfer into a 4 year
>>
>>564100281
Also this. No more pushing shit back on your schedule. Trust me, I did the same thing (albeit in college), and it does nothing but harm. You gotta be proactive.
>>
>>564099534
>male
>25
>fucked 30-40, blowjob 100+
>gf is a 29F
>masters
>rent out two different places in a big city
>6 figures
>blow way the fuck too much money on eating out and drinks, still have plenty to save
>play vidya too much (but like 15 hours a week)
>not retarded, lots of friends

I'm fully aware I have nobody to blame but myself. I dont even know where to go. Other than killing others what should I do?
>>
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>>564100281
this
>>
>>564099534
>male
>20
>almost to the brink of homelessness
>got fired from last job for smoking weed off shift
>can NOT find a job anywhere because of that
>unemployment is a problem where I live (Rockford)
>trying to scrap 200 bucks in for a roomshare to have a place to sleep for a month
>family can not help because too far away and poor
>had to drop a few classes at community college cause cant afford full time (no financial aid)
>finding couches to sleep on at various friends places. Haven't found a place and I have to leave today
>no one is hiring me because I got fired for weed from my last job
damn this sucks right now a lot
>>
>>564100802
That sucks come to Seattle no one cares
>>
>>564100802
stop smoking weed you idiot lol

oh and lie about why you left your last job, and make it so they either cant directly call or put a friends number. Easy to get around this
>>
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>>564099534
>male
>live in austin
>dwi last year while visiting home
>had to stay home
>lived on a couch for months
>got job
>started paying off dwi and shit
>job contract was cancelled
>fuck. all of these bills. oh god.
>move back to ATX
>staying with friend on another couch
>get job at call center
>elder scrolls online tech support
>awkward as fuck introvert
>quit from anxiety about angry screaming strangers on phones
>staying with different friend
>got own room
>share room with girl who lived their first
>start long term relationship with her
>no money
>she's paying my bills
>feel like shit
>hard to find work with suspended license

Never drive drunk. It's really fucking expensive.
>>
Start by exercising. Set a tiny goal for yourself to get started and then go from there. A tiny goal could be, for example, walk around the block twice. Do that daily at the same time. Then instead of 2 laps, do 3 laps. Then instead of doing 3 laps, do 1 jogging lap. Then 2 laps. So on and so forth. Quality of life for people who are in shape is a lot better than those who are out of shape. Once you have the confidence in your own body, then the confidence in your mind will soon follow.
>>
>>564100495

ok you're right.

I don't have any money left for a gym pass but I've got running shoes. I'm cutting out all the crap in my diet. I'm going to get my parents to buy better shit. And there's a dollar store near my house that's hiring so I'll go apply there. I've got absolutely jack shit to put on a CV though.
>>
>>564100021
You're still a fuck up, how is this supposed to cheer up OP?
>>
I used to be like you -- but now...

>male
>63 yrs
>6'0" 250 lbs
>Married - Wife sexes me practically every night
>Good kids & grandkids
>Nice house - 4bdrm - 10,000 sqft lot
>only HS diploma
>earn over 110k USD/yr
>work from home - telecommute

Things *WILL* get better - they did for me
>>
>>564100649
also this wasnt meant to be a shitpost, im just saying Im not all that different from you but got my shit together. all you gotta do it try man, as long as you keep going for it confidently shit will work out
>>
>>564101182
I'm trying, and succeeding. Lucky to have such patient friends. I owe them quite a bit of cash. Little bit at a time. Bicycling everywhere like an asshole. Fuck it, I'll get used to it.

These guys are right about working out in the spare time. Eventually you'd rather just be sitting outside doing nothing than sitting inside shitting out of your eyes and ears on the computer or playing vidya.

Get audio books. Go for a walk before breakfast every day for about an hour. Listen to book while walking. Shit's amazing for stress.
>>
>>564101382

Define what "crap" is. Your definition of something healthy is probably way off the mark.

Eat lean meats, fresh green vegetables and collard greens, and lots of fruits.
>>
>kissless virgin

Save a couple of those 50$ allowances to hire a hooker
>>
>>564101174
Yeah I've stopped smoking weed for a good month now.

If I lie, don't they have ways to find out if I was lying or not?
>>
>>564101586
Post pics of wife pls
>>
>>564101926

You're applying for minimum-wage jobs, right? Those guys don't give a fuck who they hire, they know the turnover is so high they'll hire anyone so long as they're not retarded. Forget about any kind of lie detection test or whatever.
>>
>>564101875

My parents buy all sorts of stuff from costco. Soda, chocolate covered almonds and chips. We have pizza every other night and I snack on welch's candies until I'm sick of them. Basically your typical fat shit diet
>>
>>564099534
Anybody going past the normal age of losing their virginity (13-16) is either a burn victim, missing parts, or (in OP's case) morbidly obese.
Make up whatever social anxiety" excuses you want, that's the truth.

Gee, OP, who would have thought that that video game / cell phone sculpted body wouldn't get you laid?
>>
>>564102041

Nope -- She's mine and not for public display on /b/
>>
>>564100802
fucking hippie
>>
>>564101881

I know I can just pay somebody for sex, I've considered it before.

I want it to come naturally though. Like I want the girl to actually want to have sex with me. I'm thinking that if I change my life around it will eventually happen
>>
>>564099534
Delete all your games.
After that, deny yourself sitting on the computer.
After that you will be forced to go out and socialise.
Im telling you this because that's what happened with me.
>>
>>564101926
dude making assumptions on where you would be applying, they dont really give a shit. If you make it easy for them, yes, but just put down a buddy's number or a google voice number or whatever and tell them to pretend to be an ex manager. Or say the place went out of business and just leave it at that. What do you have to lose? you tell the truth, you dont get the job. You lie, you might get the job. If they find the lie, well worst case youre just back where you started.

Also, dont think about it as being dishonest - just leave out what isnt advantageous to disclose, and focus the conversation on other parts if you need to. Believe it or not, all successful people do some of this.

Usually its more about exaggerating company qualifications to get contracts, but its the same shit
>>
>>564099534

kek, your parents set you up for failure. I don't think there's any fixing this m8.
>>
>>564102164

>cell phone

nah, only video games. I've got no use for a cell phone atm. No friends and I barely leave the house. If somebody needs to reach me we have the home phone
>>
>>564099834
sure you are
you say this every weekend, don't you
>>
>>564102168
hippie? I'm trying to fucking do something. I'm stuck right now.
>>
>>564102164
idk if I agree - I lost my virginity right at 17, and I never had trouble with women, I had been dating and hooking up with various girls for years by then. It just didnt happen with my girlfriend of the time until like 6 months in
>>
>>564102167
lol weirdo
>>
well I have it worse, so u have a better life :)
>>
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>>564102103

Soda is acid. It literally does nothing helpful for your body. You're drinking empty calories. Drink water and water only starting IMMEDIATELY. Coffee's ok, but it's a diuretic so you need to drink more water after having a coffee. Also stop eating all kinds of processed sugars, meaning candies, juices, whatever other shit you can think of that would logically have processed sugar.

Costco has a great fresh veggie selection right next to the meats. They already shop at Costco, tell them to buy the healthier shit that's literally 10 steps away from the pizzas.

You weigh 280 lbs. The first, I'd say, 50 lbs will be really, really easy to lose. Like, it'll just fall off. I don't feel like explaining it, but it will. The tough part is staying on track. If you're sufficiently motivated, then that should be no problem.

I believe in you. For whatever that's worth, I do. It's going to be really, really tough at first but if you want it then you'll get it.
>>
OP, social skills are everything, and it's something you can work on for free. I was raised by a single mother and we were incredibly poor, but I was married by 23, teaching at a college by 25, and continue to have great adventures, all because I can talk to people. You can to if you try.
>>
OP theres countless things you can do since you hit rock bottom and have nothing to lose

>>get a job and start being a functional citizen

>>join a voluteer program in another country and experience real life

>>start community college and make friends and socialize

>>start a new life in other city/country


Just remember two things fellow anon

1-You CAN and WILL achieve anything you want to.

2-It takes time , effort and belief.
>>
>>564103075
He ain't lyin' OP, and when you see the first 20 pounds or so missing from your body, the confidence you get will completely turn things around. You will want to push harder because you will see that it's worth it.
>>
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You dont have to quit vidya. Just realize there are more important things. Leave some room for vidya on your schedule.
That said everything else is spot on. Work out, itll do wonders for your mood, youll feel more energized and even happier. Get a job, no matter how shitty, and learn the value of money. Youre young still, get to it bro and im sure things will improve. DO NOT PROCRASTINATE.
>>
>>564099534
Post pics, show dick
>>
>>564103075

Thanks, I'm actually looking forward to this.

Any ideas on tools I could use to track my progress? Something like my fitness pal but for the computer?
>>
>>564102735

No just someone that actually loves and respects the person I'm married to.
>>
>be me
>don't live in cesspool where you live
>get aprox. 12.5k scholarship money a year
>dorm is paid, school is paid
>its 12.5k for food basically
>study for 5 years
>get 60k+ for just studying lol
>also 8/10 gf and a lot of close friends
>also bragging on the internet
>livin la vida loca

Hey, why don't you go and try finding out how to get shit from the system?
>>
>>564104051
exactly. why are you here
>>
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>>564099534
>save whatever money you can get your hands on
>eventually buy a hooker
>get into uni
>play vidya, but buy less vidya
>fuck friends, that's what Netflix is for
>>
Start by getting a job. Getting a job does several things. Allows you to leave the house (which is proven to reduce depression), allows you to socialize, and making your own money helps boost self confidence and ushers more positive feeling towards urself.

After that try to set a goal that you wanna meet and speak with 1 new person a day, preferably female. Do flirt or try to get laid just have a short 5min conversation with a new female per day. This will help u socialize and hone ur conversational skills. Eventually, by doing this everyday your bound to meet a girl that sparks some connection between u 2

Afterwards look inward and see what u want to have career. Enroll at a college and start taking classes. Again this will help u socialize, and once u cone out with ur degree it'll up your own self worth.

I was in ir shoes once. This past 2 years have been the fiest time my life is on track and im happy. Good luck anon
>>
>>564102279
Brah this isn't the movies you don't just find some cute girl by accidentally spilling a drink on her at pic quick. You need to go out to a bar or something find sorta drunk chicks and flirt a little.
>>
>>564104134

This site amuses me
>>
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>>564103952

Don't use that tracking bullshit unless you really, honestly, believe that it will help you and that you can use it on a regular basis, because if you don't then it's entirely pointless.

All I would say that you really need to keep track of is calories. It's a clichéd answer, but it's the scientific truth. In order to lose weight, the calories you burn everyday by simply living has to be higher than the calories that you gain from everything that you eat. To put it simply: Calories In < Calories Out = Weight Loss.

What does this all mean? Check out the picture. I punched in all your details, hope you don't mind that I think you're sedentary. The figures they suggest are a little excessive, I would recommend a 200 calorie deficit (daily) instead of the 500 that they suggest.

That's all it comes down to. Don't track every single exact calorie, you'll lose your mind. Check out food labels and just keep a mental note. Write that shit down if you can. Calorie counting is one of the first steps to a healthier diet and lifestyle.
>>
>>564104605
well then stop being such a boring person
>>
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>>564099534
loss weight
get job

start new life

you sad sack of shit
>>
>>564105068

Ask better questions then - boring in, boring out
>>
>>564102620
Okay—13-18, but past high school indicates a problem
>>
>>564105351
show your wife's terrible tits. That was the initial question. You gave the only boring response. Also how old are you dude you sound like someone who still uses aol
>>
Good luck, OP. I'm leaving the house. You better follow through with your plans, or all this typing and all this time I devoted to you has been for nothing. I believe in you.
>>
>>564105942

No, the question was "Post wife's pic, pls".
You did not specifically ask for tits,
If you did the answer would have been different.

I already gave my age in my first post learn2read. I was online pre-AOL. ARPANet - USMC
>>
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>>564100092
> learn JavaScript
lol just learning JavaScript won't land you a job.

You should also learn the html dom and jQuery.

OP let me know if you want to pursue computer science I can help.

skype: vernonleon090
>>
I'd start with regular exercise, decent diet and getting on a regular sleep schedule
>>
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>>564105942
>>564106518

But since you have asked to see her...

Here's my wife, Morgan Fairchild...Whom I've seen naked
>>
>>564106679
LOL putting a Skype on the internet.

Are you stupid?
>>
>>564105514
Obviously it's a problem. I don't think OP was bragging you fucking idiot
>>
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>>564107771
> implies its hard to proxy skype

lol pls senpai dun resolve my ip

dun ddos me anonymouse plss
>>
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>>564099534

>5'8", 280
>Calls women fat sluts

Topkek
>>
If some one thinks that working out gives you pussy
> wrong
Wasn't lifting - fat bitches approached me
Am lifting - fat bitches approached me
Lifting won't give you a flying fuck, if you not thinking of joining army son
>>
>>564108916
Of course he wasn't, aspie. And you obviously relate to him
>>
>>564112330
Not sure what I said that was "aspie" of me, but nice generic comeback "betafag". I'm just saying your posts are bad and you should feel bad.
>>
>>564099534
1. stop getting allowance you fucking loser
2. instead of playing vidya all day long, go apply for jobs all day long
3. look into cheap schooling for college if interested
4. stop complaining about your life and labeling yourself as a NEET kissless virgin
>>
>>564099534
>5'8" 280lbs
>fat slut
You should learn some sympathy fatty, people will like you more
>>
>>564099534
dude i wouldn't wanna fuck you either. gotta lose some weight man. Just imagine your playing a video game and you're trying to level yourself up. Right now you have no gear and are squishy as fuck.
>>
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>>564099534

Don't pretend like you're going to take any advice in this thread.

If you wanted bitches and money you would have gotten off your fat ass years ago.

Pic related. It's your future and it's too late for your fat ass to do anything about it.
>>
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>>564099534

>male
>turning 19 in a few weeks
>6'5" 150lbs
>kissless virgin
>I've hugged two girls before, get gud
>highschool dropout
>live with my dying grandparents
>no job
>Spend all my time on /b/, /tg/, and Youtube
>socially incapable due to random manic episodes

I might have you beat.
>>
>>564099534
A) Suicide
B) Take the shit off, study as hard as you can to go a free university, lift and that. If you want to live.
>>
>>564099534
Start getting autism bucks.

Maybe see if the government can get you some free therapy.

Lose some weight, shit will SAVE you money. You could go in /fit/. Look into saving up for a basic home gym.

Learn to code or something. Make money through the computer.
It's hard to get a job with a job gap or lack of experience.
>>
>>564099534
I'm actually earning some money on Libertagia, you could with my invitation, tell me if you want, you make 3 dolars per day 5 times a week from de start. If that can help OP.
>>
>>564102451
jesus christ you sound just like me
>>
I hear you anon.

What's most likely the case is that you suffer from low testosterone. I can ascertain this from three facts:

1. Your lack of accomplishment. This is often a sign of low T as testosterone is needed to fuel the risk-taking spirit that drives all true success.

2. Your failure to attract women, which is usually a strong sign of low T.

3. Your high bodyfat... Again, major sign of low T.

The solution to this problem is that you need to get castrated in order to remove any last remaining shred of hope or self-confidence that may lead you to become a spree killer or mass murderer. It's clear from your low T and virginity that you are not a man in any meaningful way, and being castrated will only take you one step closer to your true identity as a sexless drone. I would highly recommend that you receive castration by Mistress Sophie, a BDSM dominatrix who specializes in elastrator castration, a castration method that cuts off the blood supply to the balls resulting in them eventually rotting off. This is the appropriate fate for a sissy like you. Here is a link to her site:

http://hogspy.com/2010/07/18/mistress-sophie-castration-slave/
>>
>>564102597
Turning over a new leaf with drugs could maybe not help you right now, but in the future, if it ever comes up, you'll be able to say it's in the past, for now maybe you can apply for unemployment or something?
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