You awaken in a room. There are no doors and no windows.
There is a single bulb hanging from the ceiling for light.
On the wall is a full-length mirror.
You see on the floor is a single 2-1/2 inch galvanized nail and a small rough rock.
There is a power outlet with a 6-foot heavy duty extension cord.
What do you do? 4 decides.
>> Tap on the mirror to see if there's an opening behind it
>> If possible, remove mirror without breaking it
>> Wrap extension cord for easy carrying
>> Collect rock and nail
>> Break mirror
Wrap extension cord around neck and jerk off onto the mirror
Bonus points for that god damned riddle!!
>Masturbate using the glass shards as lubricant
Ouch! your hand and dick are now a bloody mess filled with slivers of glass. It really really hurts... but it's still masturbating, so it still feels good.
The floor seems to be getting slick with your blood... did you really have all that blood inside of you?
5 Decides next
>You go to sleep.
Maybe you'll feel better when you wake up... You're starting to get tired anyways...
How do you sleep? there's no blanket, no bed? you'll probably get cold...
9 decides how you sleep
I'D MAKE A FUCKING ELECTROMAGNETIC MAGNET. FUCK THE WALLS, FUCK THE MIRROR AND THE ROCK. I HAVE THE POWER OF THOUSANDS OF GENERATIONS. I AM THE LORD OF METAL. RULER OF ELECTRONS. GOD OF MAGNETISM.
winner winner double nigger
>You go to the wall and perform an outstanding handstand while shoving your glass riddled fist up your anus.
Despite the obvious pain, the warm blood washing over you keeps you warm long enough for you to drift off into a peaceful slumber as you die from excessive blood loss.
500 years from now, when excavators uncover you, they will be amazed at anon's force of will to die in such a magnificent gymnastic pose.
> YOU HAVE DIED
>ROLL GET TO RESPAWN
Or don't. I won't be watching.
>Rise from your Grave!
You have respawned!
There is a dead anon in the room with you, a broken mirror, a 2-1/2 inch galvanized nail, a large pool of blood, a single light bulb for illumination, and an electrical outlet with a 6 foor extension cord.
3 Decides Next!
>You break the Lightbulb
Damn... it's dark in here. I can't seem to make out anything... wait...
You see a small ribbon of light coming from behind the outlet... but you still can't really see around the room.
0 Decides Next
>You reach up to the still swinging bulb fragment and try to grab it.
You feel searing pain across your palm as the live electricity shoots down your arm. you jerk, slipping and fall on your back.
When you recover, your hand feels like it's on fire, but you seem to have gathered the tungsten filament in your palm.
Now slick with blood, you crawl to the outlet and try to thread the filament into one of the open holes of the outlet.
The filament seems to go taunt and rips out of your fingers! "Hey!" you hear someone on the other side yell, "I needed that!, Thanks!"
7 Decides Next
>"No Prob!" you yell back, "What did you need it for?!"
"I needed it to complete my flux capacitor! With it, I'll be able to go back in time before some asshole shat in my room before impaling himself yesterday."
You realize you can smell the stink of shit from the other room now.
6 Decides what you do next.
knowing moving through time is inherently moving through space as well. Ask if the guy will pick you up on his way out of this hell whole
Hit your head against the wall until it's sore
Use the saw on the cord to cut it in half, then put the halves together to make a whole
Climb down the hole and scream until your throat is hoarse
Climb on the horse and ride away
"Sure thing!" he says. A few moments later you hear the clunk of heavy machinery and the entire room begins to vibrate. "GREAT SCOTT!" he screams before the light on the other side of the outlet goes out with a crash.
Huh... is he ok?
You wait a moment longer before feeling the room shake violently and a large glowing metal contraption appears in the room. Exhaust spewing. You see an old white dude with strange goggles sitting naked in the front seet, "Anon! Quick get in!"
'Why?' you ask, 'Where are we going!?'
"We gotta go back!! Back to the Future!"
Oh this is exciting!
3 decides what you do next!
> Damn the clothes that you may or may not have been wearing! They're gone and so are you! You jump into the front seat with the strange old fart!
And man is this uncomfortable, you covered in blood, him with specks of shit... but as he reaches for that lever, you know you are finally getting out! it's got you all excited!
As he pulls the level, suddenly the machine jerks and shakes, your eyes are bombarded with a kaleidoscope of colors, lights, flavors, screams! Screams!?
You see the old man shaking in terror as the craft starts to break apart. "EGADS! I never Calibrated it to carry 2 passengers! I'm Sorry anon! I have no Idea what's going to happen!"
Suddenly the craft rips apart at the seams and you find yourself floating alone a endless void of white...
There are a few dark spots? maybe... just maybe a way out of this wayward time stream?
4 decides what to do next.
>using your voluminous knowledge of astrophysics, you decided the only way to reach one of these dark spot vortexes is to ejaculate furiously...
And damn, this must the be elemental plane of frictionlessness, cause you're going pretty fast. The geyser of jizz you fire is aimed just right and launches you through the nearest dark spot.
Thins go dark as you enter the afterglow...
And with a sudden slam you wake up in a strange room, not quite the same as the one you left... all the floors are aged, the walls look rotted... there's a strange glowing moss on the floor strangely in the shape of a dead man...
Hey, that shattered mirror is in this room too!?
Fuck! you only traveled a few hundred years into the future!
1 Decides what to do next!
Isn't this how that faggy Divergent movie went?
We have now reached the required listening portion of our show:
for your enjoyment
>You hell for the old man.
He's Dead Jim.
You laugh at your current situation...
5 Decides Next.
>look in mirror to see what i saw
>take saw and saw extension cord in half
>two halves make a hole
>put hole on wall
>escape through hole
The old man returns, it's apparent he has been through some changes.
>You figure what the heck and jump up to use your body weight to rip the ceiling down by hanging onto the cord.
In an amazing stroke of chance, the floor gives way as you try to jump, punching a small hole in the floor that you fall through.
Ouch! you dust yourself off. You can see from the little light from the hole you made jumping and can see around. You find yourself in a little maze of twisting passages, all alike.
2 Decides Next
1. Use rock to tap on wall.
2. Use nail to mark space between studs.
3. Use rock to break mirror.
4. Wrap extension cord around sharp piece of mirror.
5. Gouge an outline between the wall studs in the shape of a door.
6 Once gouges are deep enough, kick drywall so that it falls out.
7. Repeat process with outer wall.
8. Check hair in mirror before leaving.
9. Step through newly-created doorway to freedom.