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wat do /b/?
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 312
Thread images: 60
wat do /b/?
>>
>>562399675
Timestamp or gtfo. Cum on it
>>
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i post more when you post more
>>
>>562399675
ask for a roll faggot
>>
Let it crawl over your dick and put a leg in your urethra :3
>>
release into the wild
>>
Pull one of its legs off and stick it inside your pee hole and super glue it shut. It'll do that twitch thing and you'll get a boner
>>
Spiders are total bros. don't be a fag op
>>
microwave time
>>
>>562399675
Burn house down.
>42 get
>>
>>562399675
cum on it and then release it innawoods
>>
EAT IT
>>
cut a slit in your ballsac right between your nuts, just big enough for the spider. open it up enough and slip it inside of your scrotum
>and timestamp or gtfo
>>
>>562399675


lick its asshole
>>
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>>562399675
TAPE IT TO YOUR DICK
>>
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pet it
>>
>>562400176
dude, keep it and feed it shit.

Treat him like a champion and find him opponents, that bitch looks like it can do some damage.
>>
Release it back into the wild.
>>
>>562399675
tell that faggot if he come by my house i kill it
>>
>>562399675
SMOKE IT
>>
>>562399675
Gape your arse and let him inside
>>
>>562400398
meant for >>562399675
>>
>>562400398
or this
>>
Tickle it
42 get
>>
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Britfag datestamp for you cancerous faggots
>>
>>562400803
poor gas on it and light it with a match
>>
>>562399675

just let it go back around the house. spiders are cool, they get rid of other insects
>>
pee on it
>>
>>562400952
and this is why you're a faggot
>>
let it run around in your shirt, OP
>>
>>562399675
blow it ! and then MICROWAVE!!!
>>
>>562401063

no. spiders are good
>>
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>>562399675
Put glue on the sheet
Move the glass with the spider over the glue
Enjoy

Thats what I did
>>
>>562400952
fuck off u little bitch
>>
Release it
>>
Send it to space 2 get
>>
>>562401181
>>562400952

I back this, though I put them somewhere else since i once woke up from a spider falling in my mouth
>>
Make it suck your dick
>>
microwave
>>
>>562401359
>>562400952
>>562401181
>>562400419
little bitches, obviously shouldnt be on 4chins
>>
>>562401230
This. And please record and upload
>>
>>562401503
Fag, do you not remember saving dusty
>>
>>562399968
this
>>
>>562399675
smoke and blow smoke into the container
>>
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Put it on your dick and take a pic
>>
>>562400001
THIS
>>
>>562401601

look son, i don't give a shit about whether somebody kills a spider. i doubt spiders feel anything anyway, they're very simple

i'm just saying personally i don't do that because they keep away more annoying insects
>>
>>562399675
i would toss it out the window and not even bother posting on 4chan about it but thats just what i would do, what you should do is microwave it then eat it, i just say microwave to kill it so your stupid ass doesnt risk a bite, unless you want that, then eat it alive.
>>
is it male or female?
>>
get a hose and a butane canister, cut a hole in the top of cup and gas the fucker
>>
>>562401230
mee-krokodil-vaew it
>>
>>562401230
toplel
>>
Eh, a lot of these ideas either suck or have been done a thousand times before...
>>
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is it possible to psychologically fuck with a spider? are there any entomologists available? Perhaps you could call up your closest university's entomologist and ask them how you can fuck with a medium sized spider psychologically?


If that's too hard microwave
>>
>>562399675
4chan Space Program
>>
>>562401771
I'm a brit so I doubt a bite could do any actual harm anyway.

Spiders here are pathetic fags.
>>
>>562401769
Niether do i, but don't make it seem like all of 4chan get's off on it
FAG!
>>
>>562401808
I like this idea.
>>
Do I tape it to a fan while it's still alive and record it?
>>
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>>562401874
>mfw I asked this in 4th grade and everyone thought i was 4loko4u

no they don't have the mental complexity to feel emotional pain.
>>
>>562401841
Don't care. Send it to space via helium balloons.
>>
>>562401874
Smoke might calm it enough to tie a makeshift parachute to it. I vote we induct another astronaut>>562401929
>>
>>562402338
put it in the microwave and show us.
>>
>>562402019
well then go place it on a cctv lens so that MI6 thinks the arachnid invasion has begun
>>
>>562401929

I agree. Send it to space
>>
>>562402509
I second
>>
>>562401874
trapped house spider once and blew weed smoke into bottle it was trapped in and when i released it took a fair while for it to move i swear it was stoned.
>>
>>562401929
>>562401929

voting for this.
>>
>>562399675
Murder suicide

69 GET!
>>
>>562402715
hot spider pls.
>>
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>>562401063
>>562401281
>>562401503
haha a bunch of cowards
>>
>>562402743

this is interesting

give it drugs op, see what it does
>>
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i love spiders here is one of my spiders.
I think you should find another spider and make them fight to the death
>>
>>562403117
I can do that.
>>
>>562403117
>to the death
>>
>>562401230
britfag ? Y u have € ?
>>
>>562403241
if it's night out it should be easy to find an orbweaver for it to kill, do you know what type of spider it is? It's hard to tell from the pic in op
>>
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>>562402349

You're among friends, friend.

Is it possible we could design an experiment to test whether or not they can feel emotion pain? If not, can anything be done with magnets with tin foil used to concentrate the magnetic waves?
>>
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>>562402743
i smoke spiders out all the time, doesnt knock them out, just gets them loopy, i think a few minute sin the freezer will knock it out without killing it but you gotta watch your time.
>>
Waterboard
>>
>>562403416
That's a £2 coin.
>>
>>562402743
You hotboxed a spider, nice
>>
>>562403416
Im not OP...
>>
> to the death
>>
>>562403475
No idea, I get these a lot in my house and I usually let them go.
>>
Jesus Christ, where do you live? That thing is huge.
>>
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>>562401230
>>562400803
ITT i would pass out with these fuckers i my house
>>
There is definitely some mental illness in this thread
>>
>>562403117
thats not a spider, that's an insect. i counted.
>>
Guys I really wanna take it to my fan and record it, reply to this with whatever you want and whatever is suggested the most I'll do, unless it's shit.
>>
>>562403479
>asking 4chan to do something productive

sorry friend, our friends aren't on board with anything that doesn't involve torture
>>
>>562403564
looks like german € to me.
>>
>>562403953
>really wanna take it to my fan
>tape it to my fan
>>
>>562403953
microwave, it's my birthday pls
>>
>>562403953

Send it to space
>>
>>562403953

Do it
>>
>>562403953
>turn on fan
>drop whatever the fuck that is onto fan
>record it getting eviscerated
>>
>>562404102
I thought those were silver on the outside and gold on the inside? I could be wrong.
>>
>>562404102
bingo
>>
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>>562404102
Definitely a £2 coin.
>>
>>562403564
no its not. look closely.
>>
Give it a kiss :3
>>
>>562404335
Thats the 2€ coin
>>
Get on my level faggots.
>>
This threads slowly getting derailed so I'm taping it to my fan and recording it.
>>
put it on your dick or cum on it
>>
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>>562403654
personally i'd microwave it i've never seen that before with a spider.
>>562403797
it sadly turned into an insect after being pitted against a wolf spider (pic related)
>>
>>562404435
I see stars, not that bullshit in the yellow area. plus, eagle wing, german 1€
>>
>>562403953
>buy popcorn
>make popcorn
>add spider to popcorn
>shake up bag
>turn off lights
>put on movie
>don't look down
>eat popcorn and watch movie
>>
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>>562401503
>>
>>562399675
Make an example of it to it's friends. I say crucify it
>>
>>562404760
WAIT OP. IS THAT A HOBO? FUCK YOUR THREAD BUT IS THAT A HOBO? CATCH A FUCKING DADDY LONG LEGS AND PUT IT IN WITH THAT BITCH. IT WILL FUCK IT UP.
>>
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>>562404810
yup, pic related. compare to the image in question and you'll see.
>>
Fuck this gay earth
>>
>>562404934
thiiiisss
>>
>>562404934
Now this is a good idea!
>>
>>562403953

i can handle this, listen to your heart, we trust it
>>
>>562399675
Just let it go outside.
>>
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>>562401483
heh
>>
>>562404990
>>562404810
>>562404435
>>562404102
>>562403564
>>562403416
>you faggots will argue about anything
>>
>>562404659
is that..?
>>
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>>562404957
hobo spiders aren't in uk and i think op is uk
>>
>>562404131
reroll
>>
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>>562402349
>no they don't have the mental complexity to feel emotional pain.

try hitting below the belt

bring up the fact that his mommy killed his daddy
>>
every time you niggers kill spiders, their genes slowly change... making them more clever and deadlier

anyway, ya'll are faggots
>>
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>>562405654
>every time you niggers kill spiders, their genes slowly change... making them more clever and deadlier
>kill spiders
>their genes slowly change... making them more clever and deadlier

How the fuck does that work?!
>>
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>>562405654
remove baby spiders
>>
The human race ladies and gentlemen
>>
>>562405870
When you don't look, they re-assemble themselves.
>>
>>562405870
spiders that survive aren't dumbasses like the spiders that run about in plain view or not running from humans
>>
>>562405870
>not knowing how evolution works

>>562406079
this nigga kinda gets it
>>
fuck it

_
___
______
…………………...„„-~^^~„-„„_
………………„-^*'' : : „'' : : : : *-„
…………..„-* : : :„„--/ : : : : : : : '\
…………./ : : „-* . .| : : : : : : : : '|
……….../ : „-* . . . | : : : : : : : : |
………...\„-* . . . . .| : : : : : : : :'|
……….../ . . . . . . '| : : : : : : : :|
……..../ . . . . . . . .'\ : : : : : : : |
……../ . . . . . . . . . .\ : : : : : : :|
……./ . . . . . . . . . . . '\ : : : : : /
….../ . . . . . . . . . . . . . *-„„„„-*'
….'/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
…/ . . . . . . . ./ . . . . . . .|
../ . . . . . . . .'/ . . . . . . .'|
./ . . . . . . . . / . . . . . . .'|
'/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'|
'| . . . . . \ . . . . . . . . . .|
'| . . . . . . \„_^- „ . . . . .'|
'| . . . . . . . . .'\ .\ ./ '/ . |
| .\ . . . . . . . . . \ .'' / . '|
| . . . . . . . . . . / .'/ . . .|
| . . . . . . .| . . / ./ ./ . .|
YOU'VE BEEN VISITED BY T-BONE
{post this in 2 threads or Uncle Terry will force you to squeeze his testicles}-
>>
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>>562400803

THIS IS IN BRITAIN? THIS IS TOO FUCKING CLOSE TO HOME
>>
>>562406350
what, how other spiders will get this genetic information that one of their kind was fucking crucified or glued to the floor? Evolution doesn't work this way
>>
>>562399675

Giant House Spider. These guys are total bros. They are not aggressive against humans but they will kill any other spiders or insects. They look a lot like Brown Recluse, but they are bigger and they will actually kill Brown Recluse and drive them out of your home.

Let the innocent spider of peace go in peace.
>>
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>>562406237

welp, this checks out
>>
>>562404857
haha fucking cruel
>>
Piss Into the jar and give it 3 shakes
>>
>>562401441
>i once woke up from a spider falling in my mouth
>spider falling in my mouth
>spider
>in my mouth
>>
>>562406350
The way you wrote that comment implied that the spider you just killed changed its genes and became clever and deadlier.
>>
>>562404934
Spider Christ, savior of the jews
>>
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the temple of the spider
>>
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>>562406795
>>
It's getting crucified, capturing it's legs without killing it/ removing them is hard so there may be another thread as this may take some time.
>>
>>562407170
I hope you get bitten.
>>
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>>562406795
>>
>>562407170
op you know spiders can drop legs as a defense tactic right?
>>
>>562399675
Practice your handwriting. You write like a 4 year old.
>>
>>562407391
I hope you also get crucified
>>
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>>562407170
Tie his stump of a remaining body to a balloon and post results
>>
>>562407391
Once again, this is a pathetic british spider and its bite will only give me an itch.
>>
>>562407512
I'll die for your sins of faggotry you little bitch.
>>
>>562399675
One leg at a time dude
>>
>>562407001
Putin, I knew you came on 4chan. Ur de hero of tha ppl
>>
>>562406679
>evolution
>not including adapting to the environment

this kinda shit doesnt happen from one day to the other. Of course it takes decades, even centuries for small changes! But if every human tries to kill every lil fuckin spider they see, it will make them sneakier, more clever, more lethal!

>>562406802
jesus fucking christ man
>>
>>562407512
>caring about handwriting on 4chan threads

Fucking hell you're insecure.
>>
>>562407615
another poster id'd it as a giant house spider, and i'll confirm that id because of the legs.
they can barely even penetrate your skin and the venom doesn't do shit to people so go nuts lol
>>
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>>562407170
how are you gonna crucify it without killing it? try the freezer or at least the fridge, a cold spider is a slow spider. do you need a template to cut some cardboard?
>>
>>562407661
crucifixion was a Roman killing method, not a 'I'm crucified now I'm Jesus' method
>>
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>>562407615
More likely the bite won't even penetrate your skin. I wish you were in australia.
>>
>>562400803
Fuck you britfag its still the 13th
>>
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>>562407170

you're doing the lord's work, son
>>
>>562407170
>>562406961
Spider Christ will die for all arthropod's sins
>>
>>562400001
please this. Unless it already happened, I didnt read entire thread
>>
>>562399675
Try to lift the glass and escape
>>
>>562407940
I'm not sure, I would do that but you guys are impatient and
>hur dur op won't deliver.
>>
>>562407940
that thumb nail
>>
>>562408040
The Spider God has spoken. Spider Christ will save all spiders from certain apocalypse.
>>
>>562407940
i wonder where my thumbnail ended up
>>
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>>562407959
this turned out a lot better than I expected it too.... and I'm happy.
>>
>>562408187
glue its legs to a piece of paper, make a quick run to the store, buy a balloon, space program a spider.
>>
>>562399675
pleez spare spiderbro OP
>>
>>562408513
im pretty sure its past curfew in the uk atm
>>
If this thread dies I will make a thread with the picture of the crucified spider when it's done.
>>
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spider god here don't make me angry
>>
>>562401929
Voting for this.

43 get
>>
>>562408716
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-27956932

I wouldn't be surprised if there was a curfew in my town.
>>
>>562408758
Oh Shit! OH PEE!
>>
op please post a picture with however many legs you've removed so far
>>
>>562408742
Spider God hath a new decree: Glue Spider Christ to two matches in the shape of a cross, then light them.
>>
>>562409215
this.
>>
Do any of you /b/ros have the pictures when /b/ sent a frog to space
>>
>>562409210
I've been taping them down while I find something to crucify it with, picture incoming.
>>562409215
It's too big for regular matches
>>
>>562408742
Also light it on fire when you're done
>>
>>562409354
i think that's on google.com
>>
>>562409215
ALL HAIL SPIDER CHRIST, OUR LORD AND SAVIOR
>>
>>562409210
This
>>
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>>562399675
Nigger that's a Hobo Spider, kill that fucker immediately.
>>
>>562409354
I had just seen the webm earlier
>>
I'm so psyched for this crucified little shit
>>
>>562409440
Spider Christ's burning cross will ward off all the negger widows. The cross apparatus will consist of many glued together matches. Spider God hath decreed
>>
>see thumbnail
>enter thread
>suddenly spider christ
>fap furiously
>>
>>562403531
I really want this to be true
>>
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>>562409618
Spider that's a Nigger Hobo, fuck that killer immediately.
>>
Do this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc
>>
>>562409925
Hobo that's a nigger spider, immediately killer that fuck.
>>
insert into urethra
>>
>>562404957
If it is a hobo I say this!
>>
>>562408758
That's just a picture of bael you uninformed swine.
>>
crucified

just do it
>>
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Soon...
>>
>>562411009

keep him alive on the cross like he jesus you know that right ked
>>
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>>562405337
hobo spiders and barn funnel weavers all migrated from UK to US during the napoleanic war era on lumber ships fucktard.
>>
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bump for spiderchrist
>>
>>562411009
I see you have an Alienware keyboard. Excellent choice.
>>
>>562411009
That spider must be scared!
>>
>>562411179
THIS!
>>
>>562411353
>>
Spiderainity.
>>
>>562411474
Praying to himself to save himself in the name of himself
>>
spider is the son of baal or jahbalion and the jew sold him to u know you crucified him yo
>>
>>562411663
i remember that thread.
i wanted to forget.
>>
THE GAME
>>
>>562411009
kek
>>
You guys have no idea how fucking hard this is...
>>
>>562411663
>mfw I was in this thread
>>
>>562412193
OP your work is not unappreciated

keep fighting the good fight
>>
>>562412193
It is so worth it though
>>
>>562412193

did the roman dude complain like that when he was nailing jesus?

no

neither should you no hammer away
>>
pump this in the background https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI4xUizSZgY
>>
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>>562412331
Always
>>
>>562412193
thats what she said
>>
>>562399675
its a wolf spider
its fucking harmless
In-fact it eats other spiders set it free.
>>
>>562412193
Carve a notch in each pencil.

Just taping together 2 pencils will fail pretty much instantly
>>
>>562412450


now*
>>
>>562411221
oh thanks 4 info then i stand corrected
>>
>>562408010
http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/uk/london
>>
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>>562412547
>>
>>562405240
I seen dis.
>>
>>562412193
Also use tiny nails or toothpicks to nail it to the pencils
>>
Make a poop fortress and see if it is willing to climb out
>>
give it drugs

blow marijuana smoke into its face

pour cocaine powder on it
>>
Shove it up you're ass OP.
>>
>>562412870
kek
>>
42 GET
staple to dick
>>
>>562412193
hair spray will immobilize it.
you could also super glue the joints.
also those types of spiders fake death with large mammals, so if it curls up in a ball its not dead.
>>
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I think I'm done, ill post better pictures in a sec. RIP in peace spider, 1697-2073
>>
>>562413770


yay
>>
>>562413770
>deardiarytodayopwasnotafag.tif
>>
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>>562413770
>>
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>>562399675
>>
>>562413770
WRONG WAY OP!
>>
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up ur butt fagget
>>
>>562408742
DO EET

>>562408758

...

DO IT ANYWAY
>>
>>562413770
And know that on 8/13/14, a spider has died for /b/s sins.
>>
>>562414085
The other side was too dark to see anything

I know it's shit but it's the best I could do in such short time.
>>
>>562413770
Set crucifix on fire, OP
>>
>>562413770
kek, i love you OP
>>
GUISE
GUISE I THINK
WHAT IF SPIDER CHRIST
WILL RESURRECT AFTER 3 DAYS
>>
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>>562413770
Posting in epic thread.
>>
>>562413770
is it still alive or you killed it before taping it to the pencil cross
>>
>>562414193
>>562413770
checkmate athiests
>>
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>>562413770
>>
>>562414330
Then well done OP. You are great.
>>
>>562407763
you have to be trolling, no one is this stupid.

when you kill something, all of the other spiders don't just suddenly know "OH SHIT! JIMMY DIED BY NOT RUNNING FROM A GIANT FINGER, I SHOULD FUCKING AVOID THAT!"

what you are implying is impossible.
>>
>>562414369

THIS
>>
i am a 25 year old adult wtf am i doing on this thread
>>
>>562399675
give it caffeine
>>
>>562413770
Someone screencap/archive/whatever this shit
>>
>>562413770
toppestkekkest
>>
>>562413770
It has habbened. Well done, OP. Well done.
>>
>>562399818
>>
>>562399675
Do something never done before on /b/. Kill the spider clean and effectively with citrus or something to keep the body perfectly in tact, then dissect it with a thin needle and post results. /b/ science.
>>
>>562413770
op is legend
>>
>>562413770
gg no re
>>
>>562413770
do your cat next, do it faggot
>>
>>562413770

KILL IT WITH FIRE, OP

>>562409449
>>562409825
>>562414369
>>
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>>
Proud of you, OP. Set it on fire.
>>
>>562413770
And with his last breath, the mandibles of Spider Christ trembling, he said, "Forgive them Spider God for they know not what they do... But I'll be seeing you bitches in three days after I peel back the lid of your Wii-U"
>>
>>562415197
beautiful
>>
>>562413770
stick it in the dirt outside and set it on fire
>>
>>562414952
or that
>>
>>562415197
God bless, OP. He died for our sins.
>mfw I'm not even christian
>>
>>562413770
Fucking Legit
>>
>>562415197
Spider Christ.
What a glorious day.
>>
>>562415197
whyd were you force to rip off the legs? Was it fighting too hard?
>>
>>562404857
This
>>
>>562414686
certain spiders may be genetically predisposed to hiding in dark places or going out in the open, if most of the spiders who go out in the open are killed, they dont pass on that trait, but if most of the spiders who hide all day DO survive, they pass that trait on, making the next generation of spiders less likely to go out into the open and get squished.

Also, you are a dumbass for not knowing something that I learned in middle school
>>
>>562415197
Is it still alive?
>>
>>562415197
You know that nigga just gonna come back in 3 days and even STRONGER THAN HE WAS BEFORE OH GOD OP WHAT ARE YOU DOING
>>
>>562415447

see >>562407456
>>
>>562415350
Spider God demands this. It will ward off all the negger widows
>>
>>562415447
Would've been harder to attach all legs, they also ripped off as I pulled it off of the paper I taped the legs to.

ALL HAIL SPIDER CHRIST, HE DIED FOR ALL SPIDERS SINS.
>>
>>562415532
>Nurture vs Nature
>>
>>562415197
You glorious, flaming faggot OP. Spider Jesus bless you in all his infinite wisdom.
>>
>>562415350
It'd be too dark for me to get a picture, I live in the middle of nowhere.
>>
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>>562415197
all hail spiderjesus
>>
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SOMEBODY SCREENCAP THIS SHIT!
>>
>>562415197
Spider Christ.
>>
>>562403117
First rule of super fight club: it stays on 4chan
>>
>>562415714
Spiders 3:15 There is no way to Spider Heaven but through my hairy carapace. Amen.
>>
>>562415882
Nigga its gonna be on fire, it will make light
>>
>>562416102
Best thread of the month
>>
I apologise for the shitty sideways images by the way, didn't know they'd upload like that.
>>
Praise spider jesus, i did not know him for a long period of time. In that small span, he changed my life more than any human ever has. God bless you spider.
>>
>>562416048
Do it yourself, you fucking nigger.
>>
>>562416346
is it alive OP
>>
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>>562416346
Ask and ye shall receive.
>>
>>562415197
good now stick one end of the cross into the ground and start a fire under it. watch it burn at the cross!
>>
>>562414686
hey, youre gonna get attacked, but I see whats confusing about the word choice...

youre thinking they're saying when you kill a spider, *that* spiders genes evolve

what they're saying is if u remove the dumb ones from the gene pool by killing them so they procreate less, you increase the smart sneaky spiders...
>>
Here are the three laws of spiderchristianity:

1. A spiderchristian may not injure a arachnide being or, through inaction, allow a arachnide being to come to harm.

2. A spiderchristian must obey the orders given to it by arachnide beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3. A spiderchristian must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law
>>
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I regret to announce the sad passing of Spider Christ, who died for all spiders sins.

Never forget.
>>
>>562416782
can i get a qt3.14 gf?
>>
>>562416915
;_;
>>
>>562416915
burn this shit nigger
>>
>>562416915
burn it
>>
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>>562416495
>>
>>562401230
Did that also change your id
>>
>>562416915
nevar frgt
>>
>>562416915
you have to dig a small hole in the side of something and put spider jesus in there.
place a round rock covering the entrance and wait 3 days before checking to see if its still there.
>>
>>562416915
make a weed bonfire under it
Thread replies: 312
Thread images: 60
Thread DB ID: 9477



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