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Tard stories:
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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Tard stories:
>be me
>be in 4th/5th grade
> have afterschool program every fucking day
>one kid in there named luke who would do nothing but sit there really quietly and play his nintendo ds all day.
> the majority of us didnt even know he was a tard.
> one day someone had the brilliant idea of walking up to him and call him "luke skywalker"
> skywalker flies off the hook.
> smashes ds in friends face.
> blood everywhere
>retreats in corner and starts rocking back and forth while screaming in tardese.
>turns out that was his trigger word, and no one decided to tell us.

i can continue if you want. There were a lot of tards in my elementary school and i always seemed to witness some great events.
Go on
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Im listening
>be afterschool again
>be after luke incident
>the majority of us go outside to this playground outside.
> tards go to.
>one tard decides to pick up a rock.
>wranglers sense the impending danger
>they try to apprehend him but fail
>the tard runs away with the rock.
> he manages to summon a tard army
>they all begin picking up rocks
> the whole school basically goes into lockdown
>the next 35 minutes were spent searching for tards.
> after a while the wranglers hear laughter in the girls bathroom.
>they go in to find about 14 tards throwing rocks at the wall.
>the wall looks like a cannonball hit it.
> tards are apprehended.
> that girls bathroom was shut down in fear the wall may collapse.
>they didnt let the tards outside anymore after that.
made me kek
Got any left?
lurking hard
what happened after that particular incident?

>OP in 4th/5th grade & kid has nintendo ds
>nintendo ds released in 2004
>OP was in 4th/5th grade in 2004+
>OP is no more than 14/15 years old
>OP is currently an underage faggot
Are you fucking stupid?
You're about nine or ten in the fourth or fifth grade. Therefore, he'd be nineteen or twenty.
fake but good
I got one

>in high school
>kid named Solomon. Think he had some sort of severe autism or something
>would scrunch his face up and start shaking when called various names
>would gasp when someone swore around him. Once made him pass out by saying fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck in rapid succession for several minutes
>for whatever reason, if you did the finger gun thing at him and said "bang!" He'd fall over and pretend he was dead
>my buddy Jordan gets an idea one day
>brings cap gun to school
>during lunch, we find Solomon sitting in a room by himself just thinking tard thoughts or whatever
>Jordon pulls out cap gun and shoots
>Solomon flips the fuck out, runs over to the wall and kicks a massive hole in the drywall. Like probably 4 feet tall, then runs out of the room screaming
>turns out he actually pulled a Forest Gump and ran out of the building, the principal had to chase him down in her car
you have any more?
youre greentext is my contribution to this autist thread
>It is impossible to own old technology
i didnt mean youre. fuck.
what is OP was held back 6 times?
>Something someone would say after getting shut up.
>Being this deep into a hole
>Trying to find a reason to call someone underaged.
i fell out of my moms shopping cart when i was at walmart getting underwear at age 5 so idk possibly anon
Alright, heres some more. these aren't going to be in any particular order anymore.

>have class thats a little longer then all the rest
> have new tard in class his name his dylan
>dylan has tourettes, aspygers, and downs syndrome.
>poor dylan
> being immature elementary students we make fun of dylan every chance we get.
> he likes to shout profanity every five minutes
>we echo him in the softest voice possible.
>teacher thinks dylan is echoing himself..
> dylan was also sacreligious.
>he apparently fantasised about murdering jesus.
> the teacher was super religious.
> every time dylan ever said anything about jesus she would threaten to write him up.
> but dylan couldnt help it.
> he would continue with his tardiness and the teacher complained to the principal.\
> principal complained to parents
>parents were poor and didnt give a fuck.
> sent dylan to school with a muzzle.
> MFW parents were as autistic as their son.
yfw you have no face?
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>MFW no face
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Also, luke owned an original gameboy. my mistake for calling it a ds.

>im 26.
Why does he wear the mask?
Here's my contribution:
>be browsing a tard thread of 4chan
>see guy try to be witty but is probably a tard himself
>spells you're as youre
>corrects himself
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i thought i uploaded this picture in my more recent tard story about dylan.

>caring about apostrophes
ITT: People trying to be haypil
ive got more if you guys want.
these stories are true.
I couldnt make these up if i tried.
it's not the apostrophe, dumbass. it's the spelling.
sssh, no talking, only stories now.
tfw you realize spelling mistakes on the internet dont matter

>captcha: na couch
I wasn't the one who called him out, I was just telling you what the mistake was.
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>be me, 8th grade science
>stuck in back of class
>right in front of me is a tard
>not as bad as some, but definitely had at least aspergers or autistic
>learning about genetics, punett squares and shit
>someone in front of the tard asks a related question
>"isn't autism just a name for being dumb?"
>tard processes it, then jumps up
>tries to swing a weak punch
>misses, class laughs
>"you gay homosexual!"
>class looses their shit, tard runs out
>principal comes, hears the story
>mfw he tries to be serious about the issue

Not the best, but it's all i got
he could be 18 if born at a certain time.
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>pulled a Forrest Gump
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>be in second grade.
> different school.
>teachers organize some sort of reading buddies system with first graders.
>we each get assigned our own first grader to read with.
>of course teachers pair me up with autistic kid named chandler.
> chandler had some next level autism.
> i tried to take a positive approach to this.
>chandler picks up a book and asks me to read it to him.
> i oblige and everything is going well until i get about halfway through.
> i smell what can only be described as a thousand rotting corpses.
> that motherfucker shat himself.
>i try to ignore it until he stands up and sits on my lap.
>i call the teacher over and he gets off.
>chandler decides that wasnt enough though.
>he grabs a few pages out of the book i was reading to him.
>and proceeds to drop his pants and wipe his ass.
> i didnt notice however i was to busy wiping the shit stain off my pants.
> he decides to "help"
>he rubs the shit paper all over himself then jumps on me.
> that was the first and last time i saw chandler.
My tard story
>be me
>Be on 4chan
>Tard angrily exclaims that the nintendo DS came out in 2004
>Doesn't realize that that would make OP 19 or 20
>People politely correct him
>The tard rage within him is released on his computer
>Tard stops posting in thread due to broken computer
So what? He'd still be legal either way.
He was pointing out that it should have been 'your' and not 'you(apostro-fucking-phe)re' because of the context and the meaning he was conveying.
Ok guys you clearly did not grow up with the ghetto autists so here's what I got

>Be me
>8th grade
>We have sub teacher for entire semester
>Real teacher had open heart surgery or some shit
>7 autists in class
>Class is rowdy and ghetto as fuck
>Always trying to get the autists to make a fool of themselves
>1 day some fat black kid tells one of the ghetto autists to start dancing
>the fucker actually starts dancing in the most ghetto way possible in the middle of class
>A downy version of the dougie
>Entire class erupts in laughter
>Sub getting pissed, has had to deal with this bullshit for the entire semester
>Yells at autist to go into the hallway
>He giggles in some kind of retarded way as he walks to the door
>Fat black kid whispers to him to keep dancing
>Kid gets to the door
>Starts doing the same thing as before
>Class starts laughing again
>Sub getting really pissed now keeps yelling
>The mother fucker starts doing the worm
>Principal has to be called

Best day of 8th grade
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>be 16
>working at winn-dixie
>tard named Clayton works as a bagger
>clayton gets 20-25carts and lines them up one entrance to the other
>no one can get in or out and the cart lines are all blocked off
>be bagger myself, start trying to move carts so people can get in
>he yells top of his lungs 2ft away "I put them there for uh reason."
>push the carts away anyway, tard starts going crazy
>runs into autmatic door before can close
>tard gets fired for being unstable and property dmg
this fucking picture. i don't even
you just dont understand what I like
>this fucking picture. i don't even
go back to reddit, faggot.
no, you.
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Thread replies: 56
Thread images: 11
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