Tard stories: >be me >be in 4th/5th grade > have afterschool

>>561619045
proceed

>>561619045
Go on

>>561619045
Continue

>>561619045
Bump

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Im listening

bumpity

cont.
>be afterschool again
>be after luke incident
>the majority of us go outside to this playground outside.
> tards go to.
>badidea.jpg
>one tard decides to pick up a rock.
>wranglers sense the impending danger
>they try to apprehend him but fail
>the tard runs away with the rock.
> he manages to summon a tard army
>they all begin picking up rocks
> the whole school basically goes into lockdown
>the next 35 minutes were spent searching for tards.
> after a while the wranglers hear laughter in the girls bathroom.
>they go in to find about 14 tards throwing rocks at the wall.
>the wall looks like a cannonball hit it.
> tards are apprehended.
> that girls bathroom was shut down in fear the wall may collapse.
>they didnt let the tards outside anymore after that.

>>561620943
made me kek

more?

>>561620943
dead

>>561620943
Got any left?

lurking hard

>>561619045
what happened after that particular incident?

>>561619045

>OP in 4th/5th grade & kid has nintendo ds
>nintendo ds released in 2004
>OP was in 4th/5th grade in 2004+
>OP is no more than 14/15 years old
>OP is currently an underage faggot

>>561622134
Are you fucking stupid?
You're about nine or ten in the fourth or fifth grade. Therefore, he'd be nineteen or twenty.

>>561620943
fake but good

I got one

>in high school
>kid named Solomon. Think he had some sort of severe autism or something
>would scrunch his face up and start shaking when called various names
>would gasp when someone swore around him. Once made him pass out by saying fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck in rapid succession for several minutes
>for whatever reason, if you did the finger gun thing at him and said "bang!" He'd fall over and pretend he was dead
>my buddy Jordan gets an idea one day
>brings cap gun to school
>during lunch, we find Solomon sitting in a room by himself just thinking tard thoughts or whatever
>Jordon pulls out cap gun and shoots
>Solomon flips the fuck out, runs over to the wall and kicks a massive hole in the drywall. Like probably 4 feet tall, then runs out of the room screaming
>turns out he actually pulled a Forest Gump and ran out of the building, the principal had to chase him down in her car

>>561620943
you have any more?

>>561622134
youre greentext is my contribution to this autist thread

>>561622134
>It is impossible to own old technology

>>561622462
i didnt mean youre. fuck.

>>561622462
what is OP was held back 6 times?

>>561622468
>Something someone would say after getting shut up.
>Being this deep into a hole
>Trying to find a reason to call someone underaged.

>>561622672
i fell out of my moms shopping cart when i was at walmart getting underwear at age 5 so idk possibly anon

Alright, heres some more. these aren't going to be in any particular order anymore.

>have class thats a little longer then all the rest
> have new tard in class his name his dylan
>dylan has tourettes, aspygers, and downs syndrome.
>poor dylan
> being immature elementary students we make fun of dylan every chance we get.
> he likes to shout profanity every five minutes
>we echo him in the softest voice possible.
>teacher thinks dylan is echoing himself..
> dylan was also sacreligious.
>he apparently fantasised about murdering jesus.
> the teacher was super religious.
> every time dylan ever said anything about jesus she would threaten to write him up.
> but dylan couldnt help it.
> he would continue with his tardiness and the teacher complained to the principal.\
> principal complained to parents
>parents were poor and didnt give a fuck.
> sent dylan to school with a muzzle.
> MFW parents were as autistic as their son.

>>561623479
yfw you have no face?

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>>561623479
>MFW no face

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>>561623479

Also, luke owned an original gameboy. my mistake for calling it a ds.

>im 26.

>>561623884
Why does he wear the mask?

>>561622629
Here's my contribution:
>be browsing a tard thread of 4chan
>see guy try to be witty but is probably a tard himself
>spells you're as youre
>corrects himself

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i thought i uploaded this picture in my more recent tard story about dylan.

>MFW

bump?

lurkin

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>>561624350
>caring about apostrophes

ITT: People trying to be haypil

ive got more if you guys want.
these stories are true.
I couldnt make these up if i tried.

>>561626036
it's not the apostrophe, dumbass. it's the spelling.

>>561626170
sssh, no talking, only stories now.

>>561626220
tfw you realize spelling mistakes on the internet dont matter

>captcha: na couch

>>561626882
I wasn't the one who called him out, I was just telling you what the mistake was.

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>be me, 8th grade science
>stuck in back of class
>right in front of me is a tard
>not as bad as some, but definitely had at least aspergers or autistic
>learning about genetics, punett squares and shit
>someone in front of the tard asks a related question
>"isn't autism just a name for being dumb?"
>ohfuck.jpg
>tard processes it, then jumps up
>tries to swing a weak punch
>misses, class laughs
>"you gay homosexual!"
>class looses their shit, tard runs out
>principal comes, hears the story
>mfw he tries to be serious about the issue

Not the best, but it's all i got

>>561622308
he could be 18 if born at a certain time.

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>>56162231
>pulled a Forrest Gump

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>be in second grade.
> different school.
>teachers organize some sort of reading buddies system with first graders.
>we each get assigned our own first grader to read with.
>of course teachers pair me up with autistic kid named chandler.
> chandler had some next level autism.
> i tried to take a positive approach to this.
>nope.jpg
>chandler picks up a book and asks me to read it to him.
> i oblige and everything is going well until i get about halfway through.
> i smell what can only be described as a thousand rotting corpses.
> that motherfucker shat himself.
>i try to ignore it until he stands up and sits on my lap.
>doyouthinkthisisthemallindecemeberlittlenigger.png
>i call the teacher over and he gets off.
>chandler decides that wasnt enough though.
>he grabs a few pages out of the book i was reading to him.
>and proceeds to drop his pants and wipe his ass.
> i didnt notice however i was to busy wiping the shit stain off my pants.
> he decides to "help"
>he rubs the shit paper all over himself then jumps on me.
> that was the first and last time i saw chandler.
>

>>561622134
My tard story
>be me
>Be on 4chan
>Tard angrily exclaims that the nintendo DS came out in 2004
>Doesn't realize that that would make OP 19 or 20
>People politely correct him
>The tard rage within him is released on his computer
>Tard stops posting in thread due to broken computer

>>561627780
So what? He'd still be legal either way.

>>561624350
He was pointing out that it should have been 'your' and not 'you(apostro-fucking-phe)re' because of the context and the meaning he was conveying.

Ok guys you clearly did not grow up with the ghetto autists so here's what I got

>Be me
>8th grade
>We have sub teacher for entire semester
>Real teacher had open heart surgery or some shit
>7 autists in class
>Class is rowdy and ghetto as fuck
>Always trying to get the autists to make a fool of themselves
>1 day some fat black kid tells one of the ghetto autists to start dancing
>the fucker actually starts dancing in the most ghetto way possible in the middle of class
>A downy version of the dougie
>holyshitmysides.jpg
>Entire class erupts in laughter
>Sub getting pissed, has had to deal with this bullshit for the entire semester
>Yells at autist to go into the hallway
>He giggles in some kind of retarded way as he walks to the door
>Fat black kid whispers to him to keep dancing
>Kid gets to the door
>Starts doing the same thing as before
>Class starts laughing again
>Sub getting really pissed now keeps yelling
>The mother fucker starts doing the worm
>Principal has to be called

Best day of 8th grade

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>be 16
>working at winn-dixie
>tard named Clayton works as a bagger
>clayton gets 20-25carts and lines them up one entrance to the other
>no one can get in or out and the cart lines are all blocked off
>be bagger myself, start trying to move carts so people can get in
>he yells top of his lungs 2ft away "I put them there for uh reason."
>push the carts away anyway, tard starts going crazy
>runs into autmatic door before can close
>tard gets fired for being unstable and property dmg

>>561629278
this fucking picture. i don't even

>>561630442
you just dont understand what I like

>>561630442
>this fucking picture. i don't even
go back to reddit, faggot.

>>561630684
no, you.

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bump