>>rat poison into drink
>>wrap in plastic
>>chop up, break long bones, shave head, knock out teeth
>>rewrap in plastic
>>Go for a road trip for the weekend with a convenient alibi
>>Tour the state, stopping at hoglots I find at random
>>burn clothes I was wearing
>>mfw the cops can't even find a body
>>Clear day, low wind
>>Rooftop of a residential highrise
>>break down weapon
>>wipe down weapon
>>dispose of weapon
>>keep grip section
>>submerge in acidic solution
>>bury in random place
pfft. Icepick to neck. weapon melts away
We would wait until her parents are asleep then we would sneak out and move to another state.
By "Murder" you mean that hot goth chick next door who says her name is "Murder" right?
Or were you going to try to get away with an actual group of crows?
Just straight gangland style like on The Wire
Walk up to them in a dark secluded area, pop pop one in their head, leave the scene
Make sure no cameras are around
Leave the body for the cops to find
The more you overthink the easier it'll be to get caught
>mfw I forgot pic
>mfw pic doesn't relate to my face
The biggest problem is a simple one:
>I don't want to kill a random stranger just to kill someone
>There's nobody in my life right now I hate enough that I'd actually want to kill
>If, somehow, a new person enters my life that I absolutely despise to the point of killing
>I kill them, the police ask "who were their enemies?" and I'm automatically suspect #1
I'll just play Grand Theft Auto and kill a bunch of people that way, much safer
Also, making sure they're all dead, not like this dumbass
I would get away with murder by not murdering anyone
I don't know enough about bullets and shit but I doubt its as simple as "well according to the way the bullet went in the head this is 100% anon's legally owned handgun". I think that's NCIS-tier forensics and much harder to match in the real world
Drive to the hood and buy an unmarked gun then, and ditch it later
>I would ejaculate over the corpse & make bloody fingerprints all over the crime scene & leave traces of used cigarette buns i´ve smoked.
did I win?
I am not posting bait.
If a real murder sat at his computer and told people on this site that he was a killer they would assume that he is telling lies.
That is what is happening right now.
There was a thread where some fgt explain how do this but I don't have pics. You burn the hands so no fingerprints, teeth out, pulverize the body and when you get rid of the body (bury in desert for example) you do it in parts. Part of leg part of hand etc. No idea how to remove dna from body. Probably wash it (?)
> bury body 6 feet deep
> put 3 feet of dirt in
> bury dead dog above body
> fill with dirt
The police will just think it's a buried dog when it's sniffed out while searching.
No I'm not a hitman. I am a private military contractor that sometimes takes out contracts that are not legal for the extra cash and so the killing counts as murder and or terrorism.
that is the worst bait have ever read in my life..
>No I'm not a hitman. I am a private military contractor that sometimes takes out contracts that are not legal for the extra cash and so the killing counts as murder and or terrorism.
yea sure you are you fucking cock sucker
still dreaming about a lightbar for your car/truck?
you fucking wannabe
>I am a private military contractor that sometimes takes out contracts that are not legal for the extra cash and so the killing counts as murder and or terrorism.
I'm in the Navy Goats. I could #rek you in 16 different ways, and that's just using my hands.
just to make sure this thread has at least one non-retarded method
> i've never killed anyone but this plan is fool proof
Your method of killing will be strangulation. You will use a sturdy nylon rope and a plastic shopping bag.
You start by picking a random person that you have no association with. Not a friend of a friend, a relative, or an enemy. No ties. Follow them for three days to learn their schedule. If no patterns emerge, follow for 3 more days and continue until you notice a pattern in their habits. When they're not home, enter their home through an open door or window. Unlock the door by lock picking if you need to, it's not very difficult and can be learned in a few minutes. Don't be seen, do this at night if need be.
Learn the layout of their home, where things are, where the bedroom is, et cetera. Be mindful of surveillance cameras. If you spot any, leave immediately and do NOT return. Look in the normal places for handguns or knives. If there is a gun cabinet, picklock it open and remove the guns. Disassemble them and bend the firing pins, and replace the guns where they were previously.
Break in about 10 minutes before they usually come home and prepare yourself for the kill. When they enter, sneak up behind them and punch them in the back of the neck as hard as you can. This will stun them and dampen their reflexes. Put the rope over their neck and begin to strangle them until they do not move, and continue for about 5 more minutes until either their face goes blue or a pulse is no longer detectable.
At this point, you will put the bag over their head and tie a very strong knot around their neck and tighten it to the point of strangulation once more. The knot around their neck will cause them to asphyxiate if you did not kill them previously, and the bag will ensure asphyxiation if your knot isn't tied properly. Lie them on their back, and stomp on their rip cage as hard as you can about 5 times.
Completely fool proof.
No known connections to the victim, making sure you dump it good in a place that cannot be tied to you. No fingerprints. Spending time checking out patterns of the person to find the perfect time. Have a 100% finished plan to follow and follow it to the best possible extent. Not talking about it afterwards or before. Not mentioning anything about anything regarding the murder/dumping of the body. If possible have some kind of an alibi, it's not gonna be needed if the connections aren't there.
I could report you to the internet police or fbi right now.
They treat confessions about murdering people on internet very seriously.
Many people got police in their house because of this
I would not be arrested as a serial killer if caught I would be labled a terrorist.
But it is unlikly they would imprison me.
I have been caught before and got off with just a warning.
dude how to become a contractor??
also: do you have/had PTSD??
how do you manage all the stress/killing??
Not sure I have been in the marines since I was 15 and ive been doing contract work for eight years now.
Probably thousands. If giving orders counts a killing then probably hundreds of thousands.
> actually thinking anyone would believe you
requesting greentext story about ex's suicide
>If giving orders counts a killing then probably hundreds of thousands.
what are you??? a fucking nuke-shitter??
bullshit name me one conflict in the last ten years where so many people died
Kill counts for a hostile country are usually mistaken, but they are high just use google.
Also a lot of conflicts are not news worthy.
Also I am 31 and have been in wars since I was 18.
i'm not lucky enough to get away with murder, if i would've killed someone the guilt would fukn eat me up
also pic related
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
I joined 16 years ago, I was under special circumstances because my father was a marine and I had been in navy schools/institutes since I was born. I filled out some paper work during highschool and I was accepted, I dont know the details it just happened, I was 15 and I was an RM recruit.
i was in the military for 4 years infantry
educated in urban combat, forest combat, anti-tank weapons, anti material rifles, distance shooting, close combat shooting, ambushes.
i just wanna see the war, make money and work on a high professional level with other people.
I'd recreate Double Indemnity except not get caught. That movie was the definition of the perfect crime and the only reason it failed was because of a character with some supernatural ability that wouldn't be an issue in real life.
>strangle person to death with cloth cord, snap neck
>take to middle of nowhere
>55 gallon drum
>put body in
>fill with boric acid
>remove VIN, throw in boric acid, Torch car, throw license plate in acid
>Don't know the details.
Your detailer explains everything, if you don't know your enlistment details, you don't pass the competency component of selection for your phase two selection.
I can rattle off every one of HMS I was on, the first three weapons I ever used by serial number and name everyone of my superiors during my contract.
I haven't even had 100 unconfirmed kills
Stop lying out your arse.
Just contact a private defence company.
Its just like any other job, to be freelance you require contacts, during my travels I met many people who needed helping out and I provided that.
The problem comes in with aiding people who are nationals of countries hostile to your own or to allies of your own.
It is a very serious offence but you can get way more money. You just gotta watch your back.
And you cant live in allied countries, ive not been home in 4 years.
>Joined at 15
>Full life of Military/Navy schools.
>Father was also a marine.
>First employed by Aegis Defense.
>31 years old. In wars since 18.
You do realize if you're telling the truth about an ounce of this, you've given anyone with proper resources all they need to both catch and convict you, right?
> ive not been home in 4 years.
ive not been home in 8 years got used to to it.
well this freelancer stuff what contacts do i need?
also: which company would you prefer to start/hire at??
>kill person, idgaf how, it wouldnt be that hard
>chop arms, legs, head off
>chop torso down the middle
>dig 6 foot, narrow hole in my property out back
>stack body parts on top of each other in hole
>fill with dirt, plant flowers on top
police use satellite imaging to look at properties of suspects to look for body-sized holes, so make the hole small and plant a flower on top and theyll never know
It always comes down to who you want to kill. Do you know this person - this makes it difficult at best because you have to appear not to have motive and almost everybody does. Do you simply want to kill someone? Simply kill someone you don't know that lives over 50 miles away. No reason to trace it back to you, even if forensic evidence is found, so long as you don't have priors.
My first freelance job was for a french guy who worked as a drill guy in the foreign legion. My mate who was in the legion at the time told me he wanted someone taken from Afghanistan.
He had not been to war there but he had a brother who had and used to bang this afgan chick who was hot or whatever and they said if I got her out of the country and in to france they would give me 10 grand. So I did.
And that was it, all the formalities were done and I got payed. That was a legal job too.
As for companies whichever you can get into. First you will do security work mainly for international companies e.g. mining/oil companies.
I remember hearing about this kind of stuff, you gotta kill them chemically some how (Acids, legal injections, 4 Chan cancer) then dig a pit like in OP's picture, fill the bottom of the hole with lime stone, and the top and cover it in dirt, and the body will either decompose or dissolve due to some acidic property in lime stone. It's been a while so it's kinda vague
oh this is an easy one
>sign up for Mars One
>work around the clock to be the best physically and mentally for the mission
>become star applicant
>well liked in the public
>get selected to go
>launch to Mars
>on the way become everyone's best friend
>land on Mars
>set up colony
>spend 5 month getting the colony into ship shape
>everything's going well
>rip wires out of wall
>go around and strangle everyone else
>paint my face with there blood
>send communication back to Earth in the form of a video
>stand there naked covered in the blood of my crew mates with them hanging by there ankles behind me
>smile and slowly lean into the camera and utter 4 words
>your move law enforcement
i cant even imagine how many law changes/recruitment changes, campaigns, hysteria, racist debates, and conspiracy theories that would cause
>buy a huge amount of life insurance for the one you love, say over $1 million
>celebrate by going to dollar tree
>buy her beautiful porcelain cups for a dollar, cuz they are nice and cheap, only $1
>make her nice cup of joe, tea, so she can enjoy the nice cups
>years go by, she develops cancer
>she dies, you collect the insurance money
>you live happy with money and hookers
>she dies from cancer from porcelain made in china
>made in china, cups have a warning about cancer materials
>no one ever knows
Step 1 Live in Arizona
Step 2 Kill the person it really doesn't matter how
Step 3 Put corpse in body bag
Step 4 Buy a good sized safe, put it in the back of car
Step 5 Shove corpse in safe, lock it, hide the key in the car somewhere safe
Step 6 Drive cautiously, don't get pulled over
In the case that you do get pulled over
Step 1 "License and registration please, blah blah blah"
Step 2 "I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle and search your car"
Step 3 Reply "I don't consent to searches"
Step 4 Police officer may or may not search anyway
Step 5 "What's in the safe?"
Step 6 "Personal items of sentiment, personal information"
Step 7 "I'm going to need you to open the safe"
Step 8 "I'm sorry sir, but the law requires that you need a warrant to open my safe"
Step 9 "Are you detaining me or am I free to go?"
Step 10 You will by now be able to leave because the officer has nothing else to do with you
Step 7 Drive off the open highway into the uninhabited desert where no one goes when the coast is clear
Step 8 Cut up the body into pieces in a safe location (optional really but it helps in the long run)
Step 9 Bury the body in the sand. No one will ever find it, no one will ever look for it
Step 10 Shave head, wash up, get rid of evidence at all costs
Happens here all the time. It's the reason so many people are marked as missing instead of murdered and no one asks anymore questions
Have a nice day