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We tell stories about hambeasts being hambeasts.
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 312
Thread images: 74
We tell stories about hambeasts being hambeasts.

> Be 16 year old
> Work in restaurant
> The back section could be accessed through a hallway with two tables
> group of six is sitting at end of backsection
> two hambeasts are sitting in the hallway
> Table of six ordered tapas-arrangement
> Going to give the six people their food
> A small potato falls of one of the dishes. No worries, dish is full of potatos
> Walk back and looking for potato
> Notice hambeast is chewing on something but nothing on their table (no bread/olives)
> MFW hambeast ated potato that fell on the ground
>>
>>560358631
bumping for great potential
>>
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>>560358631

a bit later

> Hambeasts are starting to eat
> They ordered 2 dishes and a paella dish
> They are actually eating for 4 persons
> Hambeasts needs room
> Chair is moving more and more backwards
> Do some gymnastic moves to pass hambeast when going to table of six
> Hambeast keep moving
> Hambeast has stopped moving because wall behind her forces her to stop
> Manager was forced to ask the hambeast to move
> MFW hambeast responded while still eating

she was eating and moving forward slowely, like every inch forward needed an equal bite of her food. Newton's Fat Law of Motion
>>
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cool story bro
>>
>>560359080

Another time in the restaurant

> 5 hambeasts wobble into restaurant
> Need a table of eight to fit them all
> Need to relocate an actual incoming table of eight to another table
> Hambeast order
> Need to take a second paper just for their food order
> Of course they ask for diet coke
> Bring their first round of food
> Mental image of starving hippos come to mind
> They keep asking for bread
> 3 refills of bread, they ate 3-5 baguettes, a normal table only gets one
> They are finished.
> Wait a couple of minutes before going to clean up their table (to not rush the customer)
> Hambeasts are starting to give us the stinkeye
> Stinkeyes stays for 3-4 minutes
> Gather up all my courage
> Go clean-up the table
> Alpha-hambeast says "when will the next meal come".
> Scared shitless because there is still food on her face
> Say the cooks will start on it in a couple of minutes
> Hambeast not pleased...
> I move away with dishes
> Hambeasts now all giving us the stinkeye
> Finally, hambeast dishes are ready
> They devour the meal again in a couple of minutes
> Hambeasts are finished, ask for bill and while giving it, one hambeasts says to another "Should we go to McDo after this"
> They just ate more than 12 people could and are still going to stuff their faces in burgers
>>
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>>560358631
>>560359080
Cool stories
>>
I've just got too many stories about these fat fucks

> One hambeasts wander in restaurant
> This is normal, people come all the time to eat alone
> Starts ordering
> Notebook almost full
> Ask if her friends are coming in soon (the order she placed was for a good 4 people)
> Hambeast gets angry
> Hambeast starts yelling while fluids leave her mouth over her shirt
> Hambeast gets more angry because her shirt is dirty
> Hambeast demands to see the manager
> Go to manager
> Manager says "LOL NOPE, SAY IM NOT IN"
> Go back to hambeast
> Say manager is not in, she demands his telephone number
> She starts dialing the number
> Fails one time because her fingers are too fat and she pushes in wrong numbers
> I see hambeast sugar is getting too low, giving up the fight
> Hambeast says I'm lucky this time

She was unable to call my manager because her fingers were too fat
>>
>>560360183
> worked at kfc, 16 at time.
> two wild fatasses appear
> so dirty they both have dirt blotched in a camo like pattern all on their visible skin
> they look up at menu
> one has a horseshoe of hair and aomething fungal on her 5th chin.
> THE. SMELL.
> proceed to ask of I can make a chicken twister wrap, but woth burger ingredients in addition (kfc/a&w)
> ewewewewewwwwwww
> vomit at combo smell and thought of burger chicken wrap.
> walked out then and their.

we had an extra person on shift anyway.
>>
>>560360860
>>560361085
Keep em coming. loving this shit
>>
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Not at the restaurant but in the shop

> Hambeast is in the aisle
> Country where I live, aisle aren't meant for hambeasts/scooters
> Path of destruction where hambeast has been
> Fallen yoghurts, cereals,...
> Too insane for words, her fat next to her body was actively pushing things on the ground
> Shopkeeper is subtly behind her putting everything back on its place
> Hambeast too occupied with cellphone to even notice
> Starts blattering about how there are political talks that will stop hambeast lifestyle (higher insurance, social healthcare will give her less, only people who fitness will receive full free healthcare,...)
> Starts blattering about this condition
> Don't want to hear this but she is speaking so loud you are forced
> Try to pass her
> Mission impossible
> Go to another aisle
> See her belly from around the corner
> Feel like Indiana Jones running from the boulder
> Start moving by hearing her voice
> Manage to get to the counter
> Pay my bills
> Run the fuck out of there before she thinks I'm an item of the shop
>>
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Bump
>>
>>560360114
>of course they order diet coke
Kek
>>
>>560358631

inb4 furt shurming is wurng
>>
> Sister works in government as someone who determines if children are in danger and must be taken away
> Hear crazy stories
> One of the craziest
> Hambeast miraculous has a daughter
> Father is also an hambeast
> Take innocent daughter to their homes
> After three months police are called by concerned neighbour
> Police enter house, house is a shitfest
> Pizzaboxes, China take-away,... fills the hallways, rooms,... Smell that is just so foul
> Hambeasts didn't even bother to get up when police entered
> Baby is "fine", sleeping in her box
> Nothing wrong here
> Suddenly police officer notices no baby-food/diapers in sight
> Police officer starts casually walking around in house while other talks to them about the complaints
> Police officer finds no diapers nor baby-food in whole house
> Suddenly he remembers the horrible smell
> Looks again in crib, just notices that a lot of the smell is coming from the crib itself
> Baby had not been moved out of the crib since they came home
> They sometimes wiped away the piss/shit from the baby, but maybe once a day or two
> Police officers keep asking, what does baby eat?
> Baby received leftovers from take-away food
> 3 month old baby was living on Chinese take-away sauces/...
> Hambeast mother and father never saw child again and must appear before court

Sister couldn't tell me all the info because where I live this could compromise the case and she wants these parents in jail forever
>>
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Bump
>>
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Most extreme fat people story I have
>>
Most amusing thread of the day, carry on good Sir's.
>>
Last one

> Holiday in my country
> Accompanied with a marathon run
> Really big marathon run
> See untrained hambeast in front row
> This isn't a small marathon run meant for everyone, you must have atleast trained a bit in the year
> She smells so foul that people don't even want to stand right on the startingline
> She's blocking out the view of 2-3 participants
> Marathon starts
> This beast is trying to go in first gear
> Doesn't even look like she is going to move
> If she was a car, she was still in neutral
> People are forced to run besides her
> People who run besides her could have added another mile to their run traject
> Hambeast is going to start
> Hambeast is going to start
> x20 times
> Hambeast has started, other-racers are already almost out of view, children and parents start to go (when a marathon starts here, after the runners started people will walk the same path with kids/elders for fun)
> Elders are passing her
> After 200 meters, she stops
> Probably to post on tumblr how she is competiting in race
> She totaled a good 400 meters before she quit and her friend called for a cab
>>
>>560363125
I'm eating crab food so ;DR
Is this as disgusting as it states?
>>
>>560363596
yes, if you're eating dont read it, i vomited the first time i read that shit
>>
>>560363596
it is.
>>
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One I found somewhere on the interwebs
>>
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Fat people can't stand not-obese people
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>>560361653
> Feel like Indiana Jones running from the boulder
Can't get the image of a giant hambeast rolling near Indy out of my head now, thanks.
>>
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Horrors of the airline
>>
>>560364203
Grandmas do not give any fucks.
>>
>>560364430
Being a little big and you know that you are and I'm ok with you. I just can't stand fat fucks who don't think they're fat.
>>
>>560363125
I really shouldn't had ignored that "don't eat while reading this" warning......
>>
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>>560358631
>Be me, 16, fat but not hambeast
>Acknowledge I'm fat and don't deny it
>Godzilla-bitch arrives in the school
>My god, I look like a satellite orbiting mars, Jupiter, and Neptune combined compared to this hamplanet
>Every day she gets 3 school lunches, essentially 3 bags of chips, 3 milk cartons, and 3 sandwiches
>Hear her complain about her glandular problem every. fucking. day.
>One day I'm done with it
>go up to her
>Knock her tray to the floor
>She starts to tear up
>Say, "Bitch, you don't have a glandular problem, you are fat as fuck. Accept it, it's your fault. I'm fat and I deal with the shit, not cry when someone points out the obvious. Get liposuction or stop eating enough everyday to feed half of Somalia"
>Walked away
>Half the cafeteria starting clapping
>mfw
>>
>>560364706
Yeah there's a difference between "having a few pounds above the 'healthy' range" and being one of those fucks that screams about FAT SHAMING.
>>
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>>560362128
>
>>
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>>560358631

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMCHxUETJYI
>>
>>560364886
This happened.

100%. I was there.
>>
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>>560364951
>>
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I just hate it when hambeasts are glorifying these "fat-acceptance" and "no diseases are linked to fat" blogs like thar Ragen whore
>>
>>560360860
Hahahah reminds me of me...

>be at sushi bar...
>order platter
>friend walks in...me keep stuffing my face.
>friend asks "are you with people?"
>mfw i've ordered enough sushi for three people for myself
>>
Or when they start acting like the health movement is some sort of NSDAP
>>
>>560362462
I raged. Poor little creature.
>>
>>560362462
That. Is. Fucked. Up.
>>
>>560365753
goddam that video.
>>
>>560365753
I never get tired of the way the guy's face changes, like he's trying so goddamn hard to not just totally lose his shit while on TV.
>>
>>560360114
I get the feeling your lying op
>>
>>560364951
Can't believe that I now have the urge to fap from a landwhale thread.
>>
>>560363596
If your a pussy then dont read
i was eating chocolate pudding the first time i read it
>>
>>560365753

>I call it healthism
>and as you can tell from the fact that it ends in ism it's a hate movement.

>so, like feminism?
>>
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>>560363851
one of the best green texts i've ever seen
>>
>>560363125
>>560363596
Not as disgusting as the japanese porn I saw last night featuring people eatting cockroaches, but pretty bad.
>>
>>560365753

got link to the video?
>>
>>560365753
>HEALTHISM
>MY FUCKING FACE WHEN
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>>560366530
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6mMpE8AaA0
Unfortunately it's the entire thing, but i'm sure you can skip through most of it.
>>
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>>560363125

Fucking hell
>>
>>560366724
thanks man
>>
>>560366002
hello, fatty
>>
>be me
>call up ma for the holidays
>she's a medical transcriptionist turned radiology nurse, I am an RN
>swap horror stories
>tells me that she and aunt (also transcriptionist) used to have BMI wars
>"battle" for a week, exchanging patient BMIs, highest won
>highest score ever was 89%
>mfw
>>
>>560366589

Makes you wonder how deluded a fatty has to be to come up with this bullshit, doesn't it?
>>
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>>560365753
>his face
>I might look calm but im screaming internally
>>
>be lying on the ground
>tumblr feminazis kicking me and beating me
>all of a sudden i can see light through there fat sweaty bodies
>is that....
>sarah palin?
>fly through massive tumblr feminists and fly kick her in the face
>feminists looking aghast
>a light brown fedora gradually levitates on my head
>a feeling of euphoia scatters the lands emitting from my fedora
>force tumblr nazis to have a massive whale orgy as i am now jesus with fedora
>use my erection to fuck sarah palins dead ass
>when they orgasm i program them to explode
>watch carnage evolve
>>
These are great!
>>
>>560362462
This rustled some of my jimmies
>>
>>560363125

Fuck that's gnarly. I've worked in EMS for over 8 years now, and have more than enough run ins with epic land whales to last me a life time. One 800 pounder hand a foot long dildo stuck in her that she didn't even know was there...but fuck. A rotting baby? Just...fuck.
>>
If anyone has the tumblr of that fatty who had bariatric surgery and still failed to lose weight you need to post it.
>>
>>560367224
That was shit.
Never use meme arrows again.
>>
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>>560367224
19/10
>>
>>560364886
Can confirm. Am cafeteria
>>
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>>560363125
>>
>>560367224
>>
>>560366457
Agreed, great story. Made me chuckle.
>>
>>560367794

>meme arrows
>>
>>560367794
>meme arrows
Kill yourself newfag
>>
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>>560368172
>>560368176
Guise I think he was using the term ironically
>>
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>>560360114
It's 'course' not 'meal'
You are not amerifat
>>
>>560368329
No I wasn't.
>>
>>560368329

I'm pretty sure he's just an idiot
>>
>>560368929
>>560368938

SEE!
>>
>>560363851
10/motherfucking10
>>
>>560365753
>health movement
there is no fucking movement
normal people just want to be healthy
>>
>>560367673
>>560363125

HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW SOMETHING IS STUCK IN YOUR VAGINA!?!?!?!?!
>>
>>560365574
>his only health problem is sleep apnea which is well controlled through a CPAP machine
>SLEEP APNEA
>CPAP MACHINE
>at the age of 8 years
>doesn't know that obesity causes sleep apnea
>mfw I have no face
>>
>>560368938
Oh shit, I guess he really is a summerfriend then
>>
>>560369605
I really like it here.
B is so fucking funny and inappropriate.
>>
>Be med student
>On a 6 week ward placement with other student
>Other student is an uppity, self-entitled, super bitch who thinks she's above everyone.
>Won't shut up about how only private medicine is useful and all other doctors are 'butchers'.
>Resisting urge to slap.
>Get told by supervising doctor that there are two jobs to be done: 'one' and 'two'
>I choose 'one'. Get sent to take a history from some pretty cool old man.
>Super bitch standing there waiting to find out her job
>Nurse pulls back curtain to reveal beached whale, has the sides up on the bed to stop her fat from spilling out over the edge. Wheezing loudly, mouth hanging open.
>Super bitch looks displeased
>5 minutes later I hear a splattering noise and screaming
>Turns out land whale was retaining urine
>Mid-conversation with super-bitch she has let the floodgates open.
>No space on bed with fat
>Urine is overflowing from the bed all over the floor.
>Superbitch sitting next to bed has open top shoes
>Legs and feet covered in whale piss.
>She's screaming
>Hambeast is making a noise like a slowly deflating balloon

mfw
>>
>>560362462
Reminds me of the gluttony guys house in seven
>>
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>>560367675
http://sugaryumyum.tumblr.com

Here she is
>>
>>560361085
>their
>>
>>560367089
How do you count percentages from MBI?
>>
>>560369884
>B
I WILL FUCK YOUR MOTHER RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
>>
http://fatwarriorgodess.tumblr.com

Goldmine.
>>
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>>560363125
no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

I should not have read that...
>>
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>>560363125

holy fuck

why anon

just... holy shit thats disgusting, sad and... just fuck man, fuck.
>>
>>560370756
Holy fuck!! I only read two posts and i would stab that fat cunt in the face is i knew where she lived
>>
>>560371452
If*
>>
>Be in college working in a Subway across from hospital back when Atkins diet was popular
>2 hambeasts nurses come in and order salads bc Atkins diet
>Get normal stuff in it but then ask for Mayo on top of salad instead of dressing
>"More mayo please"
>"More mayo please"
>"I said extra mayo please"
>Solid 2 inch layer of mayo on top of each of these salads, have to go fill the bottle up to put more on top
>Hambeasts pay, I go to the back and wash dishes
>"EXCUSE MEEEEEE"
>go back out front
>"Can we just take the bottle to the table?"
>Hambeasts went through 2 bottles of mayo on two salads.
>Because diet
>>
>>560358631

read in Arnie's voice
>>
>>560371452
Some family member/Craigslist hookup she rolls for burger $ will do it sooner or later.
>>
Bump for interest.
>>
>>560367089
>89%
i don't think a human can survive that way
>>560371583
>atkins diet
i wonder if they mentioned it, beause majo is one of the few things the diet forbids completely as it is shugar and fat
>>
>>560372121
>implying hamplanets get old
>>
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>be me when 17
>friend comes over and we day drink
>invites this girl he wanted to bone and her friend
>friend was a total ham beast
>she literally begged me to let her suck my dick
>called up skinny half black/white that wanted my d
>bone her in one room away from the ham beast
>ham beast starts crying and wants to go home
>friend gets mad at me when I cock blocked him


>mfw
>>
>>560363851
Good one, its nice to see when hamplanets get rekt.
>>
>>560363125
bad, but not the worst I've seen in fire and EMS
>>
>>560367139
ALL I FEEL IS RAGE. FUCKING SEACOW.
>>
>>560363851
What a fucking glorious story, would def read again
>>
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>>560363125
..... anyone want a half eaten meatball sandwich? I'm done.
>>
>>560365753

Goddammit, they would be Australian.

I swear, we're not all that stupid.
>>
>>560373172
tell, faggot
>>
>>560365753

... as a fat man myself, I want this cunt to die
>>
>>560374227
Join the club
>>
>>560370463
Tard moment, I meant body fat percentage
>>
These stories are shit, not funny at all
>lel omg i worked at a fast food place and i couldn't believe my eyes when a fat person came in and wanted food
willing to bet good money that OP is a pissed off little manlet virgin who is mad because he is a lanky faggot that can't gain weight
>>
>>560374948
I bet you're a fatty.

Fatty fat fat!
>>
>>560374948
hamplanet detected
>>
>>560375168
>>560375204
>lol look that guy isn't an angry teenager who gets mad at the choices other people make, the choices that dont effect me at all
>he must be a fatty lol
stay childish, /b/
>>
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>>560375363
>>
>>560362462
I half expected the cops to find the baby dead and decaying in the crib as I read this, shit is fucked up.
>>
>>560374948
On the contrary, I've been finding a good number of these stories both amusing and horrifying.

Also, since when is having a hard time gaining weight a bad thing? I find it to be most beneficial to my beer and pizza diet, and it would hardly make me mad at people who constantly have to watch what they eat.
>>
>>560363851
I like FPSs with happy endings.
>>
>>560374948
>>560375363
thisisbait.jpg
>>
>>560367224
My sides. Yes my sides.
>>
>>560375363
But it does effect everyone. When 37.5 percent of a population is overweight, special accommodations, costly accommodations have to be made to counteract the poor decisions these fat fuckers make
>>
>>560375363
Of course we are childish.

It's natural to ridicule and make fun of people that are unhealthy. Who would want to mate with a hamplanet when they can mate with a /fit/ babe with superior child bearing/ raising skillz
>>
>>560376296
>implying overweight = being cripplingly obese
what special accommodations? walmart has to buy a few extra scooters? you should be thanking fatties, without them, the restaurant and market businesses would tank
>>
>>560367794
Yes.
>>560369884
YES.
>>
>>560376296
And do we even need to start talking about the drain obesity is on our medical community? Just imagine how much money is spent each year for diet-induced diabetes, or cardiac arrest due to obesity, and so forth. This is helping to raise insurance costs.

So, yes, being obese is a medical problem that affects those around you.
>>
>>560359092
Fuck yeah Liverpool
>>
>>560363125
This grossed me out, and I work at an abattoir ripping and cutting the cuts out of animals.

if anyone want's to lose weight, read stories like this, and remember them next time you think about buying that cheese burger or whatever.

I'm actually trying to cut down on alcohol and lose 10 KG, stories like ths will help motivate me lol.
>>
>>560376737
Medical accommodations. "Handicapped" accessibility. Larger interiors of cars which in turn create more emissions and cost more to fill at the pump.

I could end this discussion now with that obesity infographic with the birds if anyone has it.

But yeah. That's just the beginning.

>implying that overweight and obese is not just one in itself and both aren't equally valid problems
>>
>>560376369
you want me to believe a childish faggot who spends his weekend on the internet making fun of fat people would actually be able to get with a /fit/ babe? is that why you are so angry? because you aren't fat, but you are still ugly and unable to get girls?
>>
>>560363416

At least she tried to do something to get in shape, even if for a day. Running is not usually a fat person thing.
>>
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>>560362462
Fuck
>>
>>560377118
>implying any money comes out of your pocket when a fat person has to buy a big van to get around
>implying any money comes out of your pocket when a person spends more at the gas pump
should we take action against workers spending $150 to fill up their big work trucks with large interiors?

places need to have handicapped acceccability regardless. and yes, i am implying that. most overweight people dont need a scooter to get around. most overweight people dont need to buy a van with a lift to get out of it. people with serious obesity are very rare compared to capable overweight people
>>
>>560376771
Exactly. I'll give an example

Me and my girlfriend work at a local hospital. I Radiology and she works EMS. She had a call last week to go to a woman's house and help her because she was stuck in a chair. This woman was at least 500 pounds. Just globs of fat lying on her. I've seen her in radiology many times.

The fat oaf lays in bed all day and only gets up for a meal. She decided to sit in a chair next to her bed for the first time in 20 years. My girlfriend and the rest of the ems crew had to get a tarp and put it under the fat hitch to pull her out of the chair. That was her emergency.

Imagine that happening everywhere in the country. Obesity related "emergencies" It costs taxpayer money and the time of others. It is an epidemic and it does effect the rest of us
>>
>>560364203
I want to be old, so I can do shit like this.
I mean, really, how can you get mad at an old lady like that? You just have to sit there and reevaluate your life.
>>
>>560362921
What wait? your bumping while sageing the thread....
>>
>>560364049
Impying they have a fucking friend.
>>
>>560363416
Don't most marathons make you qualify first? I'm a hell of a good runner but I just can't sign up for the Boston Marathon whenever I want
>>
>>560362921
Wow even Heaven bumped...
Re-bump for potential
>>
>>560377775
>sage
>with thumbnail

lurk moar newfag
>>
>>560375363
>your post
>not angry
>>
>>560377118
this wasn't even supposed to be a conversation about this. all i was saying is that if OP wants to make fun of fat people and tell stories, at least make them worth listening to. they were dry, dull stories, and it seems clear that he is just an angry manlet. as soon as i said that, everyone started freaking out, calling me a fatty. makes me think this thread must be full of lanky miniature teenagers who get picked on at school
>>
I bet dollars to donuts you are eating even as you bitch.
>>
>>560378013
Thought that's what heaven meant
>>
>Be fat fuck
>eat normally
>don't move around or exercise at all
>mfw I never go outside of my apartment because of stuff like this thread. People will assume I'm like these assholes that eats for 2 (or more), or don't tip, or that I smell (I'm very studious about my hygiene) or that I'm rude, or some other hambeast stereotype.
>>
Stop arguing you childish cunts, and post some more greentext shit.
>>
>>560377839
You don't even need two legs to run in the Boston Marathon.
>>
>>560363851
Instasav
>>
>>560377662
The rest of the crew, so, you two and like three other guys? Or even just four people total.

Four people who went to college for years (or are currently still attending), skilled 'white collar' workers, whose job it now is to essentially be furniture movers for lard.

So, yes, great example. Not only was that a waste of money, but also of workers; at that same time there could have been a serious accident, and there are now four less people to respond to it. Or four more people now to be 'on call' just for emergencies such as this.

I loathe this entire mindset of "my health is only my concern." No. Just like with vaccinations, you are part of this society. If you need medical attention simply because you don';t know how to take care of yourself, then you are hurting the society around you. Other people are having to take care of you for essentially no reason, and could instead be exerting their energies towards problems that aren't self-induced.
>>
>>560362462
What country did this happen in, anon?
>>
>>560358631
Stories about losers
>there was this neckbeard virgin beyond beta loser
>feels inadequate of course
>"i know! i'll make a thread on 4chan about hambeasts lol look at me all hip/edgy"
>still doesn't feel better
Oh well, maybe next time amirite
>>
>>560378125
Perhaps you just have a shit sense of humor and an oversensitivity to weight?

For you seem to be in the "this isn't funny" minority.
>>
>>560378371
well then eat less then 'normal' and you will get used to it
you'll be hungry for one or two weeks and then you'll get used to it
eventually you'll loose weight, believe me it's worth it
>>
>>560377662
This is sooo true probably the most related realist post to this thread
/clap
>>
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Found online.
>>
>>560358631
>Be 20
>Work what should have been part time in the kitchen of a bowling alley
>Actually work full time plus overtime, but that's a different story
>Every motherfucking day, ham beasts approach the counter
>Usually I'm the only one there, so always in the back
>Always know it's a hamplanet because they all, without fail, press and hold the buzzer until I go round to the front
>Every single one said the same thing;
>"The food here is so expensive, it's so unfair!"
>Lady, I don't make the prices. There's a McDicks across the road, they serve what we do and more cheaper
>Is what I should have said at least once before quitting
>Dat regret for not fucking with hamplanets
>Dat regret for not having a decent hambeast story to contribute
>>
>>560369884

Gr8 b8
>>
>>560364886
That totally happened brohaim
>>
>>560378371
Do you shave your face, keep your skin moderately clear, have a haircut, shower often enough, wear appropriate clothes for your weight and still have some sense of fashion? Do you eat normal serving sizes when you go out?

I work in a restaurant. We get a lot of fat people. I mean, it comes with the territory. I have no problem with 90% of them. Some of them are my favorite customers, and we're talking about a guy who can barely sit a booth. But they carry themselves, well, like normal people, just bigger.

You sound like you fit into that 90%. Just, be a regular person, and be aware of the social problems that your weight can cause (sweating and BO, per example). So long as you do that, then I promise you, the only person really thinking about your weight is yourself.
>>
>>560378405
Hell, sometimes you'll even lose 2 legs at the start!
>>
>>560378680
mad doughconstruct is mad
>>
>>560358631
I have an anti-fat story

>eat fatty foods
>be NEET
>never exercise or leave the house
>post on 4chan all day
>never gain any weight (5'11 110lbs).
>>
>>560367089

Took care of my first 90 a couple of months ago. FML.
>>
>>560379684
I shave, I don't use skin products but my skin is still fine, I cut my own hair quite often, I shower at least every day, more if I sweat a lot. In my country you can't get clothes for fat people so I have to buy shitty clothes from other countries, which is expensive as shit and I'm a student, so I can only afford the shittiest of clothes. It's just normal t-shirts and sweat pants, because I can't get anything else.

When I go out, I eat normal servings, and only 1. only 1 course as well, no apetizers or dessert.

I'm also VERY aware that I'm fat, and aware of the problems this can cause, and I also shut myself off from all social contact except through the internet and in class because of this.
>>
>>560379351
what did you say to them instead?
>>
>>560374948
These stories are fucking awesome you colossal retard

I worked at Olive Garden for like 4 years and I've seen the fattest hambeasts come in and get our huge bowls of fett alf. No good stories, but they are all smelly and rude
>>
>>560380039
enjoy your metabolism while it lasts.

mine is starting to slow down, and these threads help motivate me to exercise and portion control.
>>
>>560380161
Maybe you should just start exercising.

Not sure why people just don't fucking do it. 1 hour a day = tip top health.
>>
>>560360114
Clearly exaggerated but I still kekkle'd.
>>
>>560362462
Well at least the baby was lucky enough to be rescued early
>>
>>560380039
5'11
110 lbs

Still unhealthy and still ugly.
>>
>>560380492
I never understand how people can stand it. Being out of breath makes you feel like drowning, can never catch enough breath, and the extreme pain that comes with being physically tired is just too much. I've never understood why a human volunteers to put themselves through such a torment. I've worked out a lot in the past, only slowed down my fat gain, never stopped it.
>>
>>560380438
I hope mine does slow down, I am sick of being this thin.

I look like I have just escaped from Auschwitz.

>>560380681
???
>>
>>560380161
Why Not walk around a bit? You can burn just as many calories walking as you can running, you just have to walk longer

Eat lots of protein also, it keeps you fuller and you won't have that need to grab junk food that's lying around
>>
>>560380741
Being underweight is just as bad as being overweight.
>>
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>>560380161
Being fat and being a hambeast are two different things. If you aren't acting like one of those tumblrfags, no one will ever care about you being fat or not, so cheer up.
>>
>>560380897
I don't eat junk food. Make pretty much all my food from scratch.
>>
>>560370756

Oh god, what an awful blog.
>>
Shitty story, but still a story
>be me
>be last week
>gone swimming at the local pool cos sick of being so unfit (I'm skinny but have no muscle either)
>part way through doing my planned 100 lengths, the biggest hambeast I've seen in a long time comes from the female changing rooms (don't actually see many obviously obese people where I live)
>mfw she actually managed to fit herself into a swimsuit
> level of the water noticeably rises as she gets in
>was pretty wary from all the stories I'd read on /b/
Luckily she was with some normal sized children and was quiet. I count myself lucky
>>
>>560378680
How convenient is it to have your own orbit
>>
>>560381065
Of course they will. Fat people are quite uncommon where I live, at least for my age (mid 20s), so every time I go outside I get loads of stares, shaking heads, parents whispering to their children etc etc... I just can't fucking take it, so I stand inside.

>>560380897
I would like to walk outside, but the crap I just posted above would be happening, and it just breaks me down completely.
>>
>>560380897
i find three things particularly helpful:

>realizing that i don't have to eat everything in front of me and i don't need big portions to begin with

>asking myself "am i hungry, or am i just bored?" if I can find something to occupy my mind like a video game or working on a project that interests me, the hunger will fade away unless i haven't eaten for a long time

>drinking water
>>
>>560381003
Its not like I choose to be this thin, I just don't seem to gain any weight.
>>
>>560358631
>>560359080
Is it me or just a coincidence that while reading, Man Eater by Hall and Oates was playing on the radio app on my pc?
>>
Get on this fucking level /b/
>Back in highschool
>I'd just finished my core (started uni early whilst at school, programs for undergrad weren't fully open to the public yet)
>Decided to have a sweet party because I'd no long need the shit hole that was my school
>Didn't know many chicks because my life was vidya and reading
>Bought 3 slabs of alcohol and fucking made it open house
>Told my friends to tell everyone that the party would end at 3 in the morning
>Heaps of people turn up
>Then I notice a fucking book case with a rug over it
>Scratch that, this was a severely fat person covered in blankets
>Didn't know this nigger, but I was the one that took the risk
>Her name was jade and she'd just finished her shift at the animal hospital down town
>She was going on about how she'd take food from cats and give it to the dogs
>She didn't like cats
>Its get 4;30 and this fat cunt has downed a slab by herself, whilst hidden
>Her friend attempts to get her to leave, the party had ended
>She screeches "NO FUCK YOU, ANON LET ME IN HE CAN DEAL WITH ME''
>Tell her to leave
>She starts fucking vomiting on my deck
>The last few people there yell at her to vomit over the railing
>''WHERES THE SINK''
>She runs inside and vomits in my mums room
>Starts yelling about needing a dissolvable berocka
>That's when I hatch the ultimate plan
>I tell her I'll get her one and that she can wait for me in my car
>She goes to sit in the car whilst I concoct some jesus juice
>I quickly wip up a glass of straight vodka with 4 berockas in it
>Give it to her
>She doesn't taste it
>Passes out
>Me and friend drive her to Train station down the road
>Push her onto the ticket cabin roof (she weighed a fucking ton, this was the hardest bit)
>I then monkey palm my friend up on there with her
>He takes a shit on her
Turns out she couldn't get down. Had a fucking toplel
>>
>>560380723
It's not as bad as being self conscious/insecure/all the health problems that come with being out of shape.

Humans are animals, animals aren't meant to sit for 24 hours a day
>>
>>560381156
also, this is pretty much the reaction I'd get if I went swimming, which is honestly the only kind of phyisical activity I find fun to do (used to dive... Boy that was fun) so I can't do that either.
>>
>>560363125
typical american fat story

typical non-american fat story
>witness fatass buy three bigmacs and ate them both
>>
>>560362462
Ho. Ly. Shit.
>>
>>560381394
There are suppliments, and you can eat more. I have a fast metabolism. I am 150-155lbs at 5'9 and started out at 135lbs/have been vegetarian/vegan for 10 years.

If there is a will there is a way
>>
>>560379684
^This
I was a bigger dude for years, I dressed well, bathed regularly, didnt do fatty things in public, ate normal portions.. fuck those hambeasts that act they arent hambeasts.
>>
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>>560358631
>be me
>went to Wal-Mart
>fat disgusting fucking wastes of life everywhere scootering around
>find myself thinking the same shit the Eurofags are always saying about the US

Not a good story but this happened today and Jesus Christ what a decrepit, fat-infested, shit hole that place is.
>>
>>560380723
Then just walk around town nobody said you had to run for miles work up to it
>>
>>560372121
>shugar
fuck's sake dude
>>
>>560381502
You are all "I can't" and rolls. Get a fucking treadmill until you can dare to walk in sunlight. What? Do you want us all to come over and suck the fat out of you and replace it with will? No. Won't happen.
>>
>>560378589
take a wild guess
>>
>>560381489
I'm quite often to the doctor. My family has a history of cholesterol and heart problems, my brother and dad especially, but for some reason, I have perfect bloodwork. Only got a hormone unbalance that I've had since I entered puberty. Found out a couple of months ago from my new doctor that it's actually something that can be treated (thyroid or something?) and it'll help me lose weight, so now I just gotta go through a bunch more test to confirm this crap and hopefully that'll help a little.
>>
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>>560363125
After reading this im done.
Abandoned thread. No more fat stories needed.
>>
>>560381502
Be mindful that it's "mega obese and arrogant" or "hamplanet and very self-righteous" that is loathed. If you're quiet and polite, no one should pay you much attention and you'll get no trouble.
>>
>>560380161
You sound like you're not that bad off, honestly. You're aware of your weight, and are taking measures against it. It's unfortunate about the clothes; I suggest biting the pride-bullet, and doing a real honest search. Even ask store attendants if they know of any place that has what you're looking for. And there's always the option of getting your clothes tailored, and it's a lot cheaper than you might imagine. Like, $10 per article of clothing, if you find the right place. So buy cheaper local clothes, and get them tailored, and you'll have a much better wardrobe for the same price as the expensive online clothes that fit like loose bedspreads.

Any my bit of advise for anyone who wants to get into better shape; just walk more often. Even stupid things, like parking at the far end of the parking lot. Carry your bags, instead of using the cart. Walk ten minutes to get the pack of smokes, don't drive. Be on your feet, keep moving, keep active. Do things like clean your room every night, vacuum often, do laundry more often. Just things that will get your moving around, even if just for a few minutes each night.

No, I doubt you will ever really be skinny. But by keeping yourself active, you can seriously trim down. You can be heavyset, instead of fat, and a lot of people find heavyset to be very attractive. Your weight isn't hopeless.
>>
>>560381943
again, all the looks and people shaking their heads while looking at me, the stares, etc etc really makes me not want to go outside... Fat people are rare where I'm from.
>>
>>560381739
>bought three
>ate both
>>
>>560381982
meh i'm not native english so once in a while i have a typo here and there
big deal
>>
>>560375767
Was hoping for this. Mildly disappointed.
>>
>>560382175
tailored clothes are expensive as shit in my country, unfortunately.

Also, when I actually go outside, I always do the stuff you mentioned. Taking the stairs instead of elevator, carrying bags instead of cart, etc etc.
>>
>>560381323
Eat less exercise more lose weight... There's no special formula. No eat this not that. No excuses. If you take in less calories and burn more you will lose weight. Period.
>>
>>560382260
Then it looks like you are going to have to take a vegetarian diet I did it and lost weight quick, Also do some calisthenics in your home.
>>
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>>560381284
It's only gunna get worse, and very soon you will have horrible health issues. I've never had a heart attack, but I hear they suck

Pic related, it's me, works out occasionally and runs 15 miles a week, because I actually care
>>
>>560370756
This bitch is a psychological minefield of self-destructive behavior.
>>
>>560382686
pretty much the only meat I eat is chicken and lean pork, so not that far off already.
>>
>>560382556
Well at least you're trying, good on you mate!
>>
>>560380232
I usually just stood and smiled politely until they broke the silence with their order. Most would because you could almost visibly see a line indicating their blood sugar levels dropping.

Occasionally one would stand giving me their best mean look and refuse to break the silence until you offered them a discount. I loved those guys because nothing pissed them off more than standing their with a smile on your face for a few minutes before repeating "can I take your order?"
>>
>>560382832
Doesn't help at all though, does it? No visual difference, still fat.

Still do it, because why not?
>>
>>560382686
yep cut processed sugars if you can as well and there are plenty of ways to work out at home. I dropped 100lbs in a lil over 18 months starting that way
>>
I work in a pretty high class resort, and I've actually never seen a hambeast. Ugly people are rare too. After working there for a year, I fully believe that either rich people look better or better looking people are richer. Can't decide which one it is.
>>
>>560382768
wouldgetfuckedby/10
>>
>>560364886
Sure thing /b/ro.
Sure thing.
>>
>>560382306
Being a native English speaker, I thought it spelt "shugar" until I was like, 12.
That whole spelling things by sounding it out? Bullshit. If it was said the way it was spelt, it would be pronounced more like 'sooger'.
>>
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>>560383063
>sugar in food
>murrca

I make pretty much all my food from scratch. I hate sweet food, so I don't really use sugar. Bought one of these (pic) about a year ago, still half-full.
>>
>>560378125
I'm 6'4 and 284lbs I qualify as fat and I did this shit amusing. Youre acting like a pissed off tumblr bitch right now. Get the fuck of yourself tubby lumpkins.
>>
>>560381419
>train station

how did you get away with this shit? there's always a fuck tonne of security cameras around train stations
>>
>>560381489
>Humans are animals, animals aren't meant to sit for 24 hours a day

Lions sleep for 23 hours a day.
>>
>>560383420
Find*
>>
>>560368238
does tazing even effect people that big?
>>
>>560383401
well thats good.. just do what some of the other posters have said and get active in some way :)
>>
>>560361653
Lost at Indiana Jones
>>
>>560358631
Story #1: youngest brother used to be an orderly in a local hospital. Works the ER one night and a drooping blob of Jabba the Hutt comes in on a stretcher. Per brother, stinks to high holy heaven to the point the ER doc puts on a mask. Female Jabba is wheezing sick, puking, and yelling at everyone about pain. Ultimately, she has pneumonia, but when they start stripping her down, there's fungal growth in each and every sweaty crevice in her body. She complains of no urination, so they catheterize her. Per brother, it smelled like tow day old roadkill on a summer day when she spread her
massive thighs.
>>
>>560364861
me, too
brb shower
>>
>>560383519
That would be a valid point if we were more closely related to lions than primates.
>>
>>560372121
>implying having an 89% BMI is "surviving"
>>
>>560364886
food tray reporting in
it hurt when I hit the ground but story is legit
>>
op got dumped by a fatty and now is upset with all fat people.
>>
>>560383401
>hate sweet food

I stayed in America for a few months and everything they had was sickly sweet.

I couldnt eat their breakfast cereals for example because it was like eating spoonfuls of sugar straight from the sugar bowl.
>>
>>560358631
Story #2, worked as a waiter a a defunct steakhouse back in 1992. Family place, so shit tips, shit customers. Family of lard asses come in for the "Country Sideboard" buffet. We're about to lose $ on these assholes. Family goes over buffet like a wave of locusts taking anything fried and battered. Family demands CONSTANT refills of soda while eating five baskets of rolls. Do the math; 5 baskets of rolls among two adults and two teenagers. Continue stuffing faces whilst complaining that the fried chicken isn't being re-stocked fast enough. Table next to them gets utterly revolted and leaves. Before it's over, by my reckoning, each family member easily took in 4500+ calories. Then on to dessert where they eat an entire chocolate pie.
>>
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>>560374948
>>
>>560384130
so its true

foreigners are too stupid to find the cheerios
>>
>>560383764
Somebody failed biology
>>
>>560382556
Do the inside stuff, too. You are in your body 24/7, it is a 24/7 ordeal. You can be Mr. Health Perfect when you go outside, but it doesn't mean diddly if you're lazy at home.

If you feel like you really are a fairly active person and whatnot, then really, go to the doctors. There really are "glandular problems" that can cause obesity. If you watch what you eat, are fairly active and so forth, then you probably have an actual condition other than the far more common one of "laziness."

But as others have said, you ARE trying, good on you! Know that you are on the right path, you just have to keep on it. No, you wont change overnight, and you will likkely never actually be skinny. But, again, a lot of people find heavyset to be very attractive, and that is extremely within your reach. Keep doing what you're doing, but try to get out more. I promise that you are thinking about your weight far more than anyone else is. When you're looking for people looking at your weight, you will think you see a lot of people staring; I promise that most of it is just in your head. At the most, it's a fleeting thought in their mind that they don't pay much attention to.
>>
>>560384130
Sounds absolutely disgusting. Glad I don't live there.
>>
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>>560377170
I'm a slim female.
I am married to a fit guy.

I know there are no girls on the internet. But just because someone says you're a hamplanet doesn't make them male, unattractive or unable to find a partner.
>>
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>>560384492
>>
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>>560384643
>>
>>560384283
>foreigners are too stupid to find the cheerios

Even cheerios were overly sweet for my palette.

I ended up with rice krispies.
They were unsweetened.
>>
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>>560384754
>>
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>>560384827
>>
>>560384405
see >>560382108

Also, >When you're looking for people looking at your weight, you will think you see a lot of people staring; I promise that most of it is just in your head. At the most, it's a fleeting thought in their mind that they don't pay much attention to.

Probably true, but it's been that was since I was a kid. Was always picked on etc (again, almost no (young) fat people where I live), completely ruined my self-image. Hell, my parents had to send me to a psychologist when I was 14 simply because I'd started refusing going to school because of ridicule. Shit's not easy to just ignore.
>>
>>560363125
Had this saved on my computer, but it went all to hell.
When I show it to people, they are like "wtf dude".
>>
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>>560384912
>>
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I hate fat people!!!!!!!!
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>>560383764
Seriously you should kill yourself
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>>560367224
0/10
Try harder faggot
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>>560384997
>>
>>560384912
Damn, there's fat people in Australia but nothing like this
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Someone please post the pic where the fitness trainer asked the whale if the is healthy and she dodges the question forever. Can't find. You are my only hope /b/.

Pic is the fitness trainer.
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>>560385069
>>
>>560385136
see
>>560365753
>>
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>>560359092
This pic is an exaple of a Uni-Tit

(when the boobs get so fat and the stomach gets so fat, it all merges into one big 'ole lumpie)
>>
>>560384420
>Sounds absolutely disgusting. Glad I don't live there.

The US is a great place to stay if you go to a non nigger part.

Its just they arent very good at moderation. Not just in food but in everything.
Which gives the impression they have no class.

But they are nice people.
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>>560385136
>>
>>560385273
>>
>>560361653
lel
>>
>>560364203
Shit, I've got massive legs from many years of cycling and Tae Kwon Do, then even more years of sloth and gluttony on top of just having a wide frame. I always feel bad for whoever I sit next to; no matter how carefully I keep my legs and arms from spreading over, whoever is next to me is gona lose some of their space.
>>
>be at busch gardens
>go on sheikra roller coaster
>accidentally sit in the row with the fat seats
>see employees leading an enormous lady to my row
>no idea how she even fit through the turnstyles
>she somehow squeezes herself into the seat
>2 employees needs to put all their weight against the harness thing to get it close enough to her to buckle the belts
>belts look like they're about to snap any second
>ride the ride with her fat rolls flapping against me the whole time


i don't know what it is about hambeasts that makes them have no sense of shame. If I were that fat I just wouldn't ride the fucking rides
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>>560381780
tfw veggie whole life and used to have sweet abs, put on the freshers-15 and haven't shaken it, now work 14hr days and just don't have time to gym

fortunately I finally got the time to set up my weights the other day, so hopefully i can turn it around
>>
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>>560384920
I feel you, but for compeltely different reasons. I have a bone disorder that makes them weaker; I spent every gym class where any sort of contact could be involved, walking the track, or just sitting on the bench. Yeah, I know how it is to be ridiculed for your body, in a way that I was 100% unable to do anything about; OI has no treatments, no cures, absolutely nothing can be done.

I... don't have any advice for how to help that. I'm just lucky enough that once gym class ended, there stopped being this big red 'wimp' sign over my head, so I've since them have been able to figure out how to be comfortable in my body again, through baby steps. A lot of it just came from learning to accept it for what it is.
>>
>>560358631
Story #3: three years ago, my ex moved out doubling my living expenses. I had to use the free Wi-Fi at McDonalds on an old iBook G4. Anyway, at McDs' one PM and a ginormous fat family sits a table away. Fat dad, fat mom, two fat teenagers, all smokers. Overhear table talk about diabeetus. They wolf down sandwich combos with an extra sandwich and take smoke breaks in between. Hambeast family then checks their blood glucose and decide that a round of apple pies and sundaes is in order for all.
>>
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>>560385640
>>
>>560385638
>mfw dogs have more humanity than humans
>>
>>560385638
... This sounds completely made up.
>>
>>560385941
Welcome to /b/ you fucking retard.
>>
>>560384997

Indians are genuine pieces of shit. Look at them standing there, laughing their asses off and doing nothing.
>>
fuck you
>>
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>>560363125
>>
>>560378852
or he could exercise because that is the better way???
>>
>>560368176
My god, the new...
>>
>>560386094
>implying you wouldn't do the same if you witnessed a hambeast fall like that
>>
>>560365753
Being a fat guy trying to get in shape myself (running everyday, bike 20 miles total to and from work, lift, etcetera) This bitch is the kind of person that makes me think if a shooting like Sandy Hook happened at fat camp I'd be OK with it
>>
>>560385825
... Are you implying I'm fat? because that's just hilarious. I weight the same 125 lbs that I did when I graduated high school.

I'm gonna tell my friend someone called me fat. It's like finding a unicorn.
>>
>>560386259

125lbs is 9 stone which is fat for a woman I think.


It depends on the country though.
In the US 200lbs is not considered fat.
>>
>>560375363
Who are you quoting?
Improper use of meme arrows.
>>
>>560386443
Yes it fucking is, by normal Americans like myself
>>
>>560386196

Look a bit, that guy isn't fat
>>
>>560379785
Sorry about that butt hurt, champ.
>>560381263
Didn't mean to make you mad, sport.
>>
>>560382768
dat bulge
>>
>>560370204

hah
>>
>>560377206
going to the gym is trying to get into shape. running on a treadmill at a reasonable pace or an elliptical based on your weight and cardio health is trying to get into shape. trying to run a marathon having never trained or even exercised is borderline retarded, especially if you cant even do the first mile out of 26.
>>
>>560366525
Got a link to the video?
>>
>>560386094
The kid on the left appears to be moving to help.
>>
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>>560386259
>>
>>560358631

>be 2009
>middle of economic downturn
>top sales person
>products all sold, lined up pipeline
>wtf, customers can't get funded by banks, all of a sudden
>wtf, our pipeline collapses
>wtf, i'm laid off
>bummer
>get unemployment...ok
>can't afford food
>bottled water and a loaf of bread left
>have to go to food pantry
>hey actually not so bad
>really good food and nice staff
>get four sacks of groceries for free
>come back next month
>midway through "shopping"
>fat-ass black bitch barges in swinging around a bunch of brats
>fat-ass husband comes in after yelling at her
>complete mayhem
>she doesn't have proper id
>gets in an argument with staff
>it's all about big momma, apparently
>finally they agree to let her get some items to tide them over until she and her husband can get proper documentation
>bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
>kids start running around knocking stuff over
>clerks try to corral them
>O NO YOU DIDAN
>jesus smelly christ
>big momma punches clerk
>husband punches big momma
>big momma has meltdown
>kids start screaming
>snuck out after police got there
>never went back
>lived on ramen for four months
>>
>>560375168

+1 if Producers reference.
If not, it should have been.
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>>560362462
If true, those fat fuckers do not deserve life in jail. They deserve to be shot in public, on screen, with slow-mo recaps of their brains flying out of their heads.
>>
>>560367794
>meme arrows
Go to McDonald's and eat $25 worth of food
>>
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>>560363416
Good job OP
>>
>>560386443
>For a woman
>Implying I'm a woman
Please, make some more assumptions. They are amusing me greatly.
Also, isn't height somewhat important? Or is a 150 lb, 5' person just a healthy as a 150 lb, 6' person? Then you have the entire muscle mass problem. I know several guys who are around 180, but are just jacked as shit so look perfectly fine.

Also, yes, 200 lbs is fat, even in America.
>>
>>560384760
Okay, wat? Maybe you found the honey nut cheerios or frosted ones, but regular cheerios just taste like plain oats to me. Ate lots of them on deployment. No one liked them.
>>
>>560363125
this woman should have been charged with murder, then starved to death, jesus god

it would have been a mercy killing
>>
>>560363851
11/10 would read again
>>
>>560385457
Wait what? I thought they had limits on Busch garden rides.... Msut have just lucked out and never seen hambeasts there. Too much walking probably...
>>
all of you skinny fucks need to learn you're place in medevil times being fat was a sign of wealth and pride
this is why i needbfeminism because you skinny intiteled people think your bdtter than the fat master race
>>
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>>560363125
I was planning on going to nursing school. I've been working as a CNA in a nursing home and i've had to dead with a couple really fat fuckers. After a year and a half of this shit...no. No more. I was already thinking of not doing it but after seeing this again for the first time in a long time...NO.
>>
>>560387284
>Okay, wat? Maybe you found the honey nut cheerios or frosted ones, but regular cheerios just taste like plain oats to me. Ate lots of them on deployment. No one liked them.

Im pretty sure they were the normal ones. But it was a long time ago. Lets assume im not remembering correctly.
It wouldn't have mattered if your cooked breakfasts were any better..

Its like:

>Bacon
OK its pretty bad quality compared to where im from but fine.
>Eggs
Mm nice eggs lots of options
>Fucking pancakes and syrup
Oh shit nigger what the fuck are you doing!!!
>>
>>560384371
>>560385053
Are you seriously suggesting we're more closely related to lions than primates?

/b/, you never cease to amaze me.
>>
>>560387568
Fat fingers giving you grief there?
>>
>>> Feel like Indiana Jones running from the boulder

topkek
>>
>>560364886
Am Jupiter can confirm
>>
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>>560386647
I can standing curl 45lbs, and bench 185

Run a 5:30 mile no prob, I usually like to do more distance though

Anyone can look like me and even better, I haven't given up beer and I still eat the occasional junk here and there. I used to be a skinnyfat beta
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