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ITT: Weirdest sex you've ever had.
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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ITT: Weirdest sex you've ever had.

>greentext required
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something like this
Missionary position with the lights off for the sole purpose of procreation.
>Ex gf's place
>One thing leads to another
>Next thing I know, she's on her stomach, pants down
>Halfway through fucking, I hear a tap on the window
>She doesn't hear it over the moaning
>Take a peek
>It's her current bf
>Start whispering sweet nothings in her ear to drown out the sound
>We finish, clean up, and I head to the bathroom
>Cue doorbell
>Slip out the back door while they fight
>Get into car, honk and wave as I pass

Last time I've ever heard from her, incidentally.
She was killed that night probably
and boring
> getting a rimjobwhile reading this thread
Oh, I've got another

>High school sweetheart
>Ditching because we're so rebel like that
>Hanging out at the parking lot of a Mormon temple
>Smokers hang out here, so we slip behind the caged-off dumpster area
>Awkward missionary on top of my sweater
>Condom breaks because I stupidly kept it in my wallet (high school, remember)
>Decide to keep going anyways
>Finish on her stomach
>"Fuck, I gotta piss"
>"Pee on me, Anon."
>Sure, why not?
>We clean up and head back to school
>Sweater in plastic bag that reeks of piss
even tho shitty copy pasta
missionary w/ lights of rocks, and you would know that if not a virgin
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>go to a party with GF
>sleepover, 8 people in the room
>me and GF sleep in same bed
>rub boner against her pussy
>she starts getting wet, IDGAF
>silently pull her pnaties off, take cock out, stick it in during spoon position
>slooowly start fucking her in all silence
>must, not, wake, up, others!
>after 10-15 mins i am about to cum
>no condom, no pill, have to pull out
>cum all over my own belly
>have to go to bathroom to wash cum off my chest and belly, but the room and hallway is full of people
>have to crawl under table to get trough
>finally make it to the bathroom, take some toiletpaper, start rubbing cum off myself
>suddenly a girl walks in, I am completely naked, with cock still wet and semi-hard from fucking
>omgwtf....ACTUALLY.... try to play it cool, but she leaves
>day after, she looks at me with huge eyes, never tell GF
>call hooker off backpage
>some negress answers and says she'll come instead of the girl in the ad
>she calls and says shes 10 minutes away
>"oh by the way i'm on my period, hope thats ok"
>she gets here, shes not bad looking for a nigger
>we lay a towel down
>i start fucking
>notice gross smell permeating the room
>it's getting really bad
>the combination of the smell and me looking down and seeing the blood makes me feel sick
>run to bathroom, puke
>she leaves while i'm in there
>cost me 250 dollars
>she also stole my ipad on the way out
anon, sorry but I have to tell...

you are below omega
you left a whore alone in your home? Should have just puked on her and told her to leave
piss enema. told the gross story before.
> One time I was going to have sex with this girl
> She bends over and says, "sex time"
> but then I put it in her pooper instead of her sex-hole!
> Later we had spaghetti
>Be 23.
>Meeting girl who will be my girlfriend for first time after lengthy online conversations.
>She brings friend in case I'm psychotic.
>Have sex first night.
>Her friend casually walking around hotel room
>Future girlfriend says to friend, "Why don't you join us?"
>Laugh because I think she's joking.
>Friend comes over and immediately starts sucking on future girlfriend's tits.
>Spend next hour drunkenly getting blowjobs, eating their pussies, and fucking them both.

Best. Night. Ever.
i should have. I tried calling her but the whore from the original ad claimed she had no idea who I was talking about, she doesn't have a black friend, etc.

I threw my sheets and the towel we were using out. I've never had period sex ever again.
>be me
>party at my best friends
>making out with this chick hard core
>best friend is making out with a girl next to us
>we switch girls
>one girl get pissed and leaves
>i put one finger in her vagina
>so does he now
>she goes back and forth making out with each of us
>friend leaves
>just me and her now
>asks me to eat her out
>head burried between her legs
>lift my head up to see 15-20 people standing around watching us
>continue to eat her out
>best friend s cheering me on
>she cums
>begs me to fuck fuck her
>fucks her from behind
>pulls out causeim about to cum
>some random girl ive never seen befor in]e runs into the circle of everyone watching
>jerks me off in her mouth
had spaghetti in her pooper? that IS weird!
Pics or it didn't happen
>I've never had sex ever again.
at first I was like lol this guys is so fucking omega meeting in a hotel room with an internet "date"

then I was all "omg he is beyond omega, he let her date be fucked by some random dude.

in the end I was "fuck that, this guy is lucky as shit, god damn I'm jelly"
> 9/10 girl at party
> She's wasted. Me to. Idgaf she's hot.
> sneak off upstairs. Eating her out
> mates bust in cheering
> go in hosts parents house cos off limits so be peaceful.
> pull wardrobe on door. No one can get in
> fumbling around on bed. Fall off by accident
> discover huge pile of mates mums dildos. Including strapon
> Mfw mates dad takes it up ass. Girl laughs
> I pull out massive dildo. Jokingly threaten her with it.
> she looks at me. Challenge accepted.
> fuck her with friends mums massive dildo.
> I fucked her after but she complains all the time. Big dildo damaged her
> still. IDGAF
> finish. Spoon. Fall asleep.
> host gets into room in morning.
> he shouts. I show him strapon.
> he freaks out.
> host never speaks to me again.
>Dropping acid with my cousin (girl) and her friend.
>Single, 20 from London
>Cousin is 17 red head, thin, very close.)
>Friend is 16, blonde long haired but a bit quiet.
>Starts getting cuddly when the acid kicks in
>Warn that lsd can make you horny
>Doesn't care, cuddles up.
>Hand down the front of her leggins
>Cousin blissfully unaware on the floor
> over the next few hours things escalate
>Sitting side to side under covers watching some movie
>girl in middle, cousin by her side, girl groping my dick from behind
>Start fucking the girl right beside my cousin, slowly and quiet
>Girl slowly grinding against my dick, cousin still seems unaware
>Stop occasionally when cousin is talking/looking
>Cousin goes bathroom
>Start fucking hard
>things like this carry on for a few hours (On and off.)
>Cousin needs to go meet up with her bf and will be back in a couple of hours
>Spend the next 2 hours fucking, both coming down from the trip slowly right now (180ug tabs x 2 each)
>Cousin comes back later but girl has to go home due to parents
>Girl leaves saying she enjoyed herself and wants to do it again bla bla bla (Me still in disbelief)
>Watching stuff with cousin, smoking weed on comedown
>Cousin comes out abruptly with "So how long were you 2 fucking for when I was gone?"
>I say I don't know what she's talking about
>Cousin says "Yes you do" and starts laughing
>Tells me that she knew I'd been doing it beside her
>Say's she'd be pissed off if it wasn't so hot
>Man the fuck up and somehow get the balls to say that she shoulda spoke up or got involved
>Cousin says "we'll see what happens next time."
>Ask when she wants next time to be.
>week after
>Week after done the same thing but me in the middle of the bed
>Cousin feeling my balls while i fuck girl
>girl doesn't notice.
>When girl goes, cousin stays and we start fucking
>This is now a semi regular things
>Be first year university
>Go to on campus pub for drinks
>Tuesday night so packed (toonie Tuesday drinks)
>Meet girl there as I'm getting a pitcher
>We talk, I invite her to table
>Flirt all night while playing drinking games at table
>Place slowly empties as the night goes on
>Almost closing and we are about to leave
>Girl says, "Come with me to the bathroom anon, I have to go"
>I agree and we walk there
>I'm about to go into the mens room when she pulls me into the womans
>She quickly rushes into one of the stalls in the corner
>She starts jerking me off and we start having sex
>One of her friends comes in
>Her friend starts talking to her as I'm fucking her
>She can't speak properly since I'm fucking her
>Friend is laughing so hard outside the stall, telling us there are people in the other stalls that can hear us
>Fuck her harder and harder
>People in other stalls to their business and leave
>Other people are coming in and going bathroom
>Her friend stops laughing, does her shit and leaves
>In there for about five minutes
>Tell her I'm about to cum
>She swallows
>We quickly leave
>Don't return to that bar for a few weeks
>See girl on campus every now and then
We also had sex in this department store.
I'd give her 8/10. When we had sex in public places I've never had a girl more wet and more tight than her.
Kind of miss it.
congrats anon, you are degeneracy
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>About 3 weeks ago
>Meet girl, came off her period day before
>go to woods by mine
>She is really weird
>makes me suck her tits
>bite her nipples
>start fucking her
>she refuses to do anything but missionary
>get bored as fuck
>shes like a drainpipe
>stand up
>she 'sucks'
>feels like a kiss off my gran
>"Cum for mummy"
>oh fuck
>finger her to get it up
>real deep
>period blood on my fingers
>never talk again
> first time me and my ex had sex (about 9 years ago)
> she is virgin
> she sat on me with no problem
> no blood, no screaming bc it hurts and so on
> later during sex i noticed, i´m in her pooper - she tought thats what i want so she was ok with it
> me is a big fan of anal sex so i was okay with it
> summary: it was easier to fuck her in the ass without stretching and so on as fucking her in her pussy
>living toghether with my girlfriend.
>little taller than me and somewhat chubby.
>is pleased with me for i dont know.
>lets me fuck her ass for the first time doggystyle.
>ram her like crazy, be in heaven.
>shes moaning like never before.
>out of nowhere theres blood on her ass.
>i stop suddenly realizing she wasnt moaning, she is crying.
>me asking "are you crying?" "YES!" her answer.
>im like WTF havent notized a thing until the blood...
>im asking to continue "im almost there."
>"just hurry up" she answers.

not even lying. first greentext EVER. what you think? that girl was kinky as fuck, also liked beeing strangled. even passed out once. ahh good time.
>be 27. sister is 25 and never had a great relationship but trying to be cool with her.
>sister is dumbass single mom and wants to take her dumbass kid out of town for a weekend
>sisters car breaks down out of town
>"pls send me money for a plane ticket or come pick me up"
>im bored so I go pick her up 6 hours away
>get there at 10:00 PM, too tired to drive back. Get cheap hotel
>one queen bed. $29.99 and we didnt have much money
>go to sleep, I sleep in my boxers and shirt Sister sleeps in shorts and tshirt and bra
>wake up in middle of night and sister is only wearing underwear and bra. goesbacktosleep.jpg
>wake up sometime after that, sister is kind of spooning. im the big spoon, but shes still on her pillow but has turned so her ass is against my dick. goesbacktosleep.jpg toosleepytorealizewhatshappening.tiff

>sex with my sisters boyfriends mom
pics, story, anything godam anon
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>gf is 15 years old at the time
>we're both at party wasted
>both head into bathroom
>both take a piss
>she leans in presses me against wall and starts kissing me
>unbuckles belt and pulls down trousers
>starts blowing me like a pro
>push her down onto her back
>no protection but too wasted to her
>start pounding her on bathroom floor
>drunken me comes up with the best idea ever
>insert index finger into pooper
>she doesn't complain so i keep fingering her butt
>people keep knocking at the door so we get up and leave before either of us finishes

10 minutes later she pulled me into the kid who was hosting the party's parents room closed the door and we started going at it again

>his and my face when he walks in on me barebacking her on his parents bed
>he doesn't say a word and just leaves again

Fuck I almost miss her sometimes, I don't think I'll ever find another girl like that
> banged my girlfriend and her sister and mom joined in, now we are a threesome,lol doesnt get any wierder rgan that
i think that you are a retarded new AND summerfag.
Another story
>met a girl on the internet
>we write a few days and then decide to meet
>i went to her with food and so on
>we cook and eat and saw a movie
>she went crazy as i touched her butthole and asked for moar
>so i fucked her in the butt and chocked her until she went blue
>we did it a few times that night and in the butt, in her pussy, oral... everything
>later i asked her if she did this often
>answer: i dont count anomore
(always put your helmet on!)
ahh such a rich and warm welcome. thank you anon.
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the night me and my gf got together, we fucked loudly behind a couch. a couch full of the guys that liked her as well. one of them got so mad he punched my bathroom walls. which broke his hand because they're solid concrete.

i miss that night.
>wake up again and sister is for real grinding a little against me.
>im full awake now and my chubby sister is grinding on my cock while wearing granny panties
>never wanted to fuck my sister. no wincest
>decide to just go with it. maybe shes asleep and having a dream
>cock hurts from giant boner and sisters rough underwear grinding on it.
>i start to fall back asleep, sister not moving just wiggling her hips a little and grinding on my cock
>wake up and feel bare skin
>her kid is asleep on the floor beside of us. his mom is pushing harder on my cock.
>still pretending to be asleep
>feel warmth of sisters pussy
>sister is wet as fuck. she pushes the tip in and keeps fucking me
>still pretend to be asleep. head of cock in sisters pussy. wtf but feels good
>make big sigh noise like someone who just woke up and roll over so my back is facing her
>sister never moves
>pretend to sleep for the next two hours
>finally fall asleep when sun starts to come up
>no one says anything next day. everything is normal.
>50/50 chance sister was asleep and didnt know she was fucking me.
> dating a girl for a few weeks
> cute petite mousey type
> thought it was unusual that we never went back to her place
> any time I picked her up she was outside waiting
> at least she was always on time
> one dinner she was especially quiet
> I ask her what was wrong
> she said she wanted to go back to her place
> her nervousness made my mind wander
> by the end of dinner I was certain I was going to "admire" and join her severed head collection
> uneasy drive to her place
> she opens the front door to her apartment
> pinksplosion
> It's decorated like a six year old girl's room
> uuuh. Nice place...
> I sit on her couch and she excuses herself to the restroom
> comes out five minutes later
> wearing nothing but a tank to and a pull up
> she gives me a terrified look
> I just stare at her
> I...I'm.. wet. Can you change me?
> a fetish is born
> insanely kinky abdl sex
> married two years later

>be me
>sis is dating dude for some time
>good kid, like him well enough
>get to know mom
>mom is kinky, didn't know till later
>likes flogging and demands and sucking cock
>don't tell her son I advise her on being a good sex slave
>fast foward a year or two
>be drunk and horny and at her place talking to her
>she goes on about her need for dominance
>fuck it, drunk and horny
>know she has thought about fucking me, learned from mutual friend
>grab her hand and lead her to the bedroom

how do you greentext man?
>no grillfirend
>no sex
>jack off to children's photos while eating bouillon cubes
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system 32 has a lock on green text, get rid of it
By placing a firework in your elderly neighbours arse and lighting it.
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just stick to the .jpg you giganigger

cool sotry though
> Thanks man it works
>my ears are for you anon
you don't. leave summerfag.
>be 21
>be at friends 21st b day
>we get seriously drunk
>his girlfriend get slaughtered
>go outside with birthdayboy
>pee with him
>have heart to heart whiel puking everywhere on his porch
>go inside to go to bed
>i'm going to stay out here and rinse all this puke anon
>go downstairs to his room
>see his gf passed out in the bed
>really horny and drunk as the fuck
and then what happened
not green
not green
not green

are you samrt enough now ?
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>wearing a tank to and a pull up
>not green
>not green
>not green
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>be me
>be 16
>best friend of a girl in my class
>8/10 blonde
>she had a gf that was presumably bi
>tells me her gf miss having sex with guys
>her gf was a fat weird girl
>"I-I c-could do it"
>we end up planning for me to go to my place one day as my parents were out all the time
>all three of us got drunk
>awkward as fuck when we started kissing each other
>nervous as fuck
>took like 1 hour just to have a boner
>start fucking my friend first
>8 or 9 pumps and I came
>fuck this
>just kept going until I was completely soft
>her girlfriend started crying
>she stops and hug her
>go to the bathroom to take a pill so I can keep going
>come back
>both of them sleeping
>mfw I masturbated the pill away and went to sleep
>mfw I tell people I had a threesome
>get really drunk with girl just out of juvie
>huff petrol
>have weird high sex
>her pussy is SOOO WET and TIGHT
>She is to high and weirds out
>TFW I didnt even get to finish
i already posted this story once in a similar thread, but its not copypasta...so lets start

>be 22
>dating this hot 40 yo MILF
>on our second date we went to her house afterwards
>she had an ugly 18 year old daugther (i mean...really ugly)
>daughter watching TV in living room, sees us runnig upstairs but she seems ok with it
>we fuck for about 30 mins
>the best sex ive ever had (pussy, anal, a2m,...)
>she has various sex toys in her drawer
>she pulls out a giant buttplug and a mouthgag out of her drawer
>spits on the plug, insert into her ass
>puts mouthgag on
>we fuck for another 10 min in missionary
>suddenly she doesnt move anymore
>ask if shes ok, keep pounding her pussy
>no answer
>too late, im about to cum
>cum in her pussy like no tomorrow
>realise she isnt breathing anymore
>put her mouthgag out (but it was still around her neck)
>ran downstairs, naked and semi erect
>shout at daugther "CALL THE AMBULANCE"
>"what happened?"

telling her that i probably fucked her mother to death werent the right words i thought, so i said nothing else

>she ran upstairs
>found her mother naked, with giant buttplug in her ass, mouthgag around her neck and my cum dripping from her pussy
>she calls ambulance and police
>she starts mouth to mouth with her
>the fact that she did that just a few minutes after we did ass to mouth actions almost got me hard again, so i put my cloths on
>ambulance and police arrived, found her like her daugther
>shes dead
>hours of explaining to police of what happened

a few days later the police called me and told me that the MILF just had a heart attack and that im out of trouble. the daugther hates me like hell and tried to sue me multiple times, but it got declined. this all happened 5 years ago
Life's to short to have boring sex.
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i left the country.

Me and Gf live in belgium, that girl was from denmark, party was in the netherlands


>start pulling her clothes off
>she's laughing nervously the whole time
>turn her around and demand that she undress me
>watch as she pulls my belt loose and yanks my pants down while on her knees
>didn't even need to ask before she suddenly took the entire length of my cock in her mouth
>grabbed her hair and force fucked her mouth for a while
>threw her on the bed abd forced her on her hands and knees, ass in the air
>listened to her breathe heavily and groan for cum for a bit
>grabbed hips and pushed my cock all the way to her cervix
>she groans out and digs her ass into my hips for more
>shouts that she can feel it throbbing and wants to feel it erupt into her
>used her walls as a cum bucket for an hour or two, not sure
>spent the rest of the night with her curled around my hips, cleaning my cock of cum and juices, fucking her when I fekt like it and listening to her cum
>did it only once after that
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Bahahahahaha. 1687
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>try to get her sweatpants off
>inch by inch
>good mally oh rally that booty
>so round and thick
(i shit you not i'm getting hard just thinking about this again)
>take my pants off
>trying to hurry due to my friend coming back at any second
>stick my dick in
>so warrrrrrrmmmm
>surprisingly wet due to stories i hear
>"john what are you doing?"
>she thinks i'm my firend
>my boner raged with a thousand pumps as i cum in her too drunk to remember i didn't wear a condom

>mfw she got preggo and had a miscarriage
>mfw i'm the scum of the earth
>cooking with gf
>Being playful I start flinging water in her hair
>She gets pissed and puts her batter-covered hands up my shirt
>"da fuq bitch"
>She starts licking it off, then sucking on my nipples and tugging them like I'd do to her
>Brings me to bed
>I get on top of her like cowgirl style, except my dick is in her
>Do this until I cum
>Has me eat it out of her pussy
In a hot tub with a very fat girl. It was pretty much impossible to get into any position that I could get my dick inside her. Eventually I managed to get into some cramp-inducing position and didn't even feel myself inside her pussy due to the warm bubbling water.
Danish girls are fucked up, yo.
>living in Japan for some months
>having girlfriendo
>amazed by my avarage sized cock
>doesn't fit into her pussy
well fuck

uber kekd
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no, i mean, wtf is a pull up
Congrats you fucked someone to death, And presumably also had sex with a corpse for a few minutes. That's pretty fucking sweet.
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Oh. A diaper.
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you sound like such a faggot. Stop saying omega. >>559868832
have you even read those posts?

>fucking a nigger whore in her period, vomiting from it, paying 250$ and losing an ipad


(i initially thought)
>meeting a online whore at age 23, letting her get fucked by some dude in front of your face

those are both very omega.
Eh. She pulls it off. Plus is awesome at doing things to my dick.
it's not whether or not the term is applicable, it's that it makes you sound like a tryhard faggot.
hope that cleared things up!
second weirdest sex ever
>be straight, 29
>on a long business trip, driving through South Carolina
>see signs for Lions Den adult store
>keep seeing signs. bored. really horny.
>decide to stop and buy some porn and a pocket pussy
>get to store and see they have video booths in the back
>go into booth, close door. "No masturbation" signs all over the place. wtf
>cant get video to play. says insert token. no tokens
>go to desk and ask how I get a token. stripper working says its $1 per token. I buy 5 tokens
>walking back to video booths and see a nice tall black man standing at the entrance
>make eye contact, nod to say hello.
>go back into booth, put in token and pick a movie
>touching my cock through my pants because the sign says no whacking off. afraid theres cameras and dont want to get arrested
>ready to buy everything in the entire store because im so horny. cant think of anything except getting off
>hear someone in booth next to me
>glory hole in wall but plugged with paper towels
>large black hand comes through hole
>really fucking horny. hand goes away and I can see the black dude from earlier looking in at me. cock is still in my pants and i'm just sitting there.
>huge black cock comes through glory hole. im freaking out because im not gay and think im going to get raped
>try to be polite and whisper "no thanks".
>cock goes away
>hand comes back
>hand stays there making "come here motion"
>take out cock, put it in hand.
>heart beating. never had a dude touch my cock. hes stroking it. pulls it through the glory hole
>dude starts sucking my cock. feels good.
>blow my load after 30 seconds. he swallows it and keeps sucking until I start to get soft and pull back out.
>his cock comes back in
>zip up and fastwalk out of the store
>get in car. leave.
i guess....that you are butthurt

are you sick of people calling you omega?
im with you man,
i have never heard anyone use the word omega
unless they were greek or a massively faggot hipster.
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What are you, you fucking pleb.
You should call the shots not her.

your a dick, you couldn't return the favor
least you could do is jack him off faggot
sure, kid
it's a shitty buzzword, thought it was out of fashion by now
keks internally

Also, agreed with the omega thing. I thought I saw a different person use it before but samefag
gr8 b8 m8
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>Meet generic bar slut but she's nice, solid 7/10
>She pulls out a joint as we drive to my place, good vibes already
>We drunkenly start eating each others faces as soon as we're inside my house
>We're fucking in the next 5 minutes
>"Anon, I like it kinda rough, are you alright with that?"
>"Yeah babe that's so hot" ect ect
>Few minutes later I'm choking her as I fuck her
>Having a jolly old time plowing this bitch when I hear "harder!"
>Start pumping harder
>"No CHOKE me harder!"
>Increase grip, her face is turning redder
>Suddenly she starts shit like "That as hard as you can choke you fucking faggot?"
>Choke her harder
>Her face going purple
>Wheezing "fuckin......FAGGOT......harder......"
>Bloodlust at maximum
>Cum with enough force cut concrete
>Full out strangling the bitch at this point
>Realize she's not moving
>Worst feeling ever I've ever felt hits me and I feel my lungs drop into my feet
>She coughs and sputters, slowly sits up
>Must have seen my face because she apologizes and says "I'm sorry anon, choking is sorta my thing, I should have told you I can get like that"
>my fucking face when for a few seconds I genuinely believed I strangled some girl to death as I cummed in her

She came btw
greek always costs extra
>kissing this girl at a pub both kinda drunk
>she tells me that follow her
>got into some kind og grass park area
>start kissing and hard-cudling
>rubing my cock against her
>she says " i want to go to my apartment"
>call a cab and send her alone
>think to myself "im so smooth"
>wake up other day and ralize
good job anon, I am proud of you
>party at gf's house
>8/10 girl is there
>at 4 am most of the people fall asleep
>wanna go to bed with gf, 8/10 asks if she can sleep in our bed
>why not
>lay down, one girl on right, the other on left
>start talking about random shit
>8/10 randomly says : "are we gonna fuck or what?"
>look at gf, she gives me an accepting look
>threesome initiated
>me and my gf fuck her about three more times after that
>8/10 has bf now so party is over, but she still seems to like us

>good times
Pls don't fail
a surprising amount of girls i have fucked have liked that,
got a few girls to try choke me out when we were fucking a few times,
but they have always been too weak,
i mean i am not a huge guy but how hard is it to choke someone godamn!
Shit that's hot. So jelly.
Did u see her again m8?
I'd choose diaper fetish over headless corpse fetish anyday. You two still do the diaper thing? Any pics of that?
That got me hard.
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hahaha, new?
here's your complementary
>you're a fucking faggot
never again
Did someone say sketti
>bloodlust at maximum

Yup, to this very day. Now that she is a housewife she wears all the time. No, she doesn't really like having pics taken of her when she's wearing. She's really really embarrassed by her fetish.
third weirdest sex ive ever had
>be 26
>move to new city for work dont know anyone
>horny as fuck. jack it like crazy in my shitty apartment
>find a couch on craigslist, go to ladys house
>ugly jewish milf. nice body, nasty jew face and jew hair
>we talk, shes 36. getting rid of the couch because it doesnt match her new living room paint color
>has two kids and is pregnant again but not showing yet
>she starts texting me after I leave telling me how she hopes I like it and to let her know if I need anything
>send her text asking if she has any other furniture she wants to get rid of
>"I have some chairs and a dresser. come get them"
>drive back next night after work. about 7:00
>shes drinking wine, still no husband. kids are yelling and running around and shit
>keeps touching my arm and shoulder as we talk and I move chair from her room
>keeps saying how she wishes her husband were as laid back as me.
>take chairs go home
>sends me text of her tits then says "oops i didnt mean to send that to you!"
>text her back "you need to slow down on the wine"
>she responds "come to my house tomorrow morning at 9:30"
>me "Do you have more furniture? Maybe I can come after work tomorrow"
>her "tomorrow morning, no furniture"
>i ignore it because jewlady is drunk and go to sleep
>6:30 AM next morning text from her "Coming over still?"
>me "I'm not sure if you're joking or not"
>her <jewtits.jpg> <jewpussy.jpg>
>me "I'll be there at 9:30 <devil emoticon>
>get to her house and she is watching the view wearing shorts and a tank top, no bra. sloppy jewtits about to fall out

cont? shit gets weird
any chance you're from napa.. we use to blaze it at morman churches all the time
>be 17
>at my buddies place
>youngest there by at least 4 years
>6 of us i think start hotboxing his basement
>its residence housing so the front of the house has other people living in it
>3 girls come out of the connecting door with their bongs and weed
>said they could smell us smoking thought they would come smoke with us
> way too high
>trailer park boys on netflix
>full attention on trailer park boys
>after a while realize im alone in the basement with 2 of the girls
>think about making the moves
>too high fuck it
>one girl is just talking not stop about like anything just talk talk talk
>all of a sudden other girl just starts sucking my dick
>literally out of nowhere just starts blowing me
>other girl still just talking to me
>talks through the entire blowjob like nothing is happening
>great blowjob but i just couldn't quite enjoy it with the other girl talking
>awkward as fuck
>finish up shes still talking
>this bitch is weird
>everyone else comes down turns out they went to make food
>girl who blew me sits next and tells me to put her # in my phone
>pull out my phone save the #
>don't know her name
>just staring at the name slot
>not a clue
>she realizes why im freezing
>screams in front of the entire room "I JUST BLEW YOU AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME"
>my buddies start laughing their asses off
>girls leave
>food was good
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Never actually told anyone this but here goes
>be me 19
>GFs house, her shitty ass bed room
>ask if anal
>she anal okay
>insert my cock into her tight ass
> we fuckin
>things are going okay
>until I pull out to readjust, FYI I didn't look down
>continue fucking, start to smell shit
>look down
> her ass and my cock covered in bright green dookie
>I vomit off the bed
>she looks over and sees what happens, runs to shower pukes on the way
>we are both in shower, omfg what happend
>laugh about it, she sucks me off in shower

pic related, girl.
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>gf is watching some friend of her moms sick dog
>gf doesnt like to touch it so i do it for her most of the time
>arrive at old ladys musty smelling cluttered house
>track down dog
>this things eyes are full on covered in boogers
>apply medicine to dogs eyes
>gf says "why are you so good to me"
>begins undoing my pants
>starts giving me a bj
>me and this old ass dog and its boogers are watching my gf give me head in some old ladys house
>one thing led to another
>both of us now completely naked in this ladys living room fucking doggy style on the couch
>looking around, pictures of her grandchildren looking back at me
>making eye contact with fucked up dog
>gf is screaming my name
>dog starts to bark
>eyes wander from pictures of children to gf to barking dog
>gf moaning
>barking dog
>finish and watch the counselor on this ladys couch and tv
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kinda reminds me of this
>250 dollars
>For a smelly nigger whore on her period

Dude, you can get great looking clean ones for about 40 dollars.
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>boss asks me to drive his truck/trailer from Dallas to Shitholeville, Oaklahoma to deliver horse.
>15 year old daughter comes along to care for horse
>delivery goes perfectly
>on way home trailer blows two tires
>one spare but no jack - stuck on I40 - abandon trailer
>we end up at Super8
>I wake up to daughter giving me a blowjob
>we fuck like monkeys all night
>in morning bed looks like a crime scene
>blood everywhere
>we go to Target and I but her tampons and panties
When we get home the next day mother goes wild saying I am "the best" for being so nice to her daughter when she got her period.
>jewmilf tells me that she just wants to fuck someone and that her husband is at work
>start making out go to her bedroom
>she gets in doggystyle position
>"anon, pls eat my out from behind"
>eat her out like crazy shes moaning and cums
>"anon come fuck me until you come. you can come inside of me"
>fucking her doggystyle now and shes really into it.
>pull out and come on her back
>"omg that was so hot you are awesome anon"
>we keep doing this same thing a few mornings a week for a month or so.
>shes always horny and texting me pictures
>i go to her house to fuck her and she says she has to talk to me about something
>"anon, i need to tell you this and if you dont like it we can end this right now and i will understand."
>"i ask you to eat me out from behind after my husband has cum inside of me"
>"i let him fuck me in the mornings if hes horny, then i get off knowing that two men are using my pussy
>tell her thats cool with me. proceed to fuck her again but not eat her out
>start feeling pretty bad for eating pussy with leftover cum in it
>text her that Im cool with it and like her so its good and ask when i can come over again
>next time i go i cum inside of her for the first time. dont tell her its going to happen
>she gets mad and says "anon you never came inside of me i didnt want you to do that
>jewbitch is crying now and telling me how she isnt a whore and shes pregnant and she wants to be faithful to her husband
>I dont know what to say and leave
>no contact for about a month. i figure its over
>mfw jewmilf texts me "ever fucked a 7 month pregnant woman?"
>In highschool
>Me my GF at the time my best friend and his GF go to some house one of them is house sitting.
>Me and my GF go to one of the bedrooms and start fucking
>GF says she wants to try anal, Iamokwiththis.jpeg.
>After struggling to stuff my dick in her i finally got a good amount of it in and it was loosening.
>Right when it gets good my friends GF bursts into the room crying.
>Just starts telling us about the fight they had and how he left, meanwhile my dick is buried in her ass and were both naked.
>She just keeps talking and ignoring the fact were trying to fuck, Finally i give up and we start getting dressed.
>Never tried anal again in my life, I was 15 then and i am 29 now.
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You got tricked. Watch out for le trick trickster.
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she was a spinner! wink wink nudge nudge know what i mean?
So she was willing to let you cum inside her originally but after you did, she didn't like it?
>fuck her in the ass without stretching
BS, unless her name is sasha grey or similar
I may need a sauce on this one.

I remember you from an old thread, never knew the daughter tried to sue.

Were you ever arrested? Or was it left to investigation
>Dating religious girl both of us in senior year of HS
>She's a horny virgin but afraid to have vaginal sex
>After badgering her about sex she agrees to try anal
>Comes over to hang out and fuck
>Bedroom is downstairs. My mom and step dad are upstairs in living room
>Lube up and enter her pristine asshole
>She buries her face in a pillow and lets out small painful moans
>Can hear folks upstairs laughing at TV
>After a few minutes, cum deep in her ass
>Pull out cock, it's covered in shit
>Let boner die down, put on pajama pants, walk up stairs so I can wash my dick off in the bathroom
>They look at me as I pass through the living room
>Can they smell her shit on my dick?
>be me
>dont care
no i was never arrested since there were no signs of struggle and the sex was consensual (daughter saw us both running upstairs)
and i really cant be blamed for giving someone a heart attack
I hate to say this but.. I think all of you lied
You're gonna love this one.
>>learned green text
now the test
>>and back to green
Ah, I remember this.
10/10 would read again.
>Got me hard this time as well.
>in a hotel room with the girl I used to see once a month a few years ago
>we spend our week ends fucking and watching tv and eating and drinking a lot
>we are into piss and soft bdsm thing
>plastic sheets ont the bed
>she's on her back, I stop fucking her to piss on her belly and tits
>she leans twards me and begin to suck me while I pee
>she gags, spit lots, I mean LOTS of piss and thick saliva
>she eventually pukes, then lick her vomit on my dick, and sucks me again to puke more
>mfw the bed is a mess
>asks me to fuck her in the ass
>fuck her in the ass
>she s pushing hard, and begins to shit as I pull off my dick from her hole
>sucks my now really dirty dick again
>I pull her hair, shove her head into the mix of pee, saliva, puke and shit on the bed
>fuck her like never
>cum in her mouth
>she kisses me right after

Best. Fuck. Ever.
>be me 19
>partied hard at club
>closing time at 3 am
>outside trying to bum a smoke
>see chubby 40+ milf
>ask her for cigarettes, says she doesnt smoke
>she strikes up meaningless implied conversation
>end up sharing a cab to her appartment
this is where shit gets really weird
>she starts making drinks and food and serving up
>appartment door opens, her 24 year old son comes home and plays WoW in livingroom
>milf doesnt care, she wants my juice
>she goes to bathroom and i end up having weird stepdad conversation with her son
>night goes on, more of her kids start coming home
>19 year old son is angry as fuck at her for something, they exchange screams through closed door
>18 year old son and his gf come home, see me, know exactly why im there
>spaghetti everywhere
>im already way too deep to back out now
>continue drinking with milf on balcony
>finally last son goes to sleep
>proceed to bedroom, get undressed
>she sucks me off for a while
>bends over to doggy, i insert peen and only need a few pumps before jazzing
>too drunk to bail in the middle of the night, fall asleep
>wake up to her sucking me off
>tell her ill make coffee, gather my shit and bail the fuck out

before we made the sex she told me her sons had serious drug problems and had had problem in school because of violence, perfect dirty talk to get the peen going. i tried to sneak out after all her children got home also, got busted with a loud "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" and obediently abort mission gtfo
>Fucked a mid-40s Korean prostitute raw.
>Same prostitute tells me about her son being in uni.
What is the fetish exactly? Do you change, wipe & powder her ass or what?
Nice screencap brah
that was weird then turned out kinda of sweet, good job anon
If period blood really made you dip out, then this never happened.
>$250 for a smelly nasty hooker that robbed you
I could fly to Amsterdam and fuck a hooker for cheaper than that
>be me 30
>own auto repair shop
>regular comes in to drop shit pt cruisr
>tells me BTW anon, i just got divorced
>picks up car, invites me over to puff
>starts kissing me as soon as im in the house
>like 10 big dogs watching me
>bitch 4/10 anyway
>be me, yesterday
>same bitch comes in all tweaking
>pulls yogapants down exposing nasty crotch
>im out of weed, ill fuck you for some weed
>like serious crack head tweaking
>get out bitch, im out of kush
>potato crotch leaves
>spark up
Flight included?
You realise that you still could have gotten her pregnant even if you did pull out.
>First time meeting my current qt3.14 bf
>Total twink with cute curly hair
>Driving around after eating dinner with him
>Tells me to pull over
>Just randomly making out outside a Famous Dave's
>Pull into an old ass parking lot by this sketchy grain elevator thing
>It is the middle of fucking January btw, -30F
>Strip down in front seat and Beej each other and make out
>Realize we need more space
>End up sprinting outside and going through the back doors
>Dive into back seat and blast heater on full
>Still like 35F in back while I'm fucking him doggy style, sort of hunched over.
>End up cuddling in a big blanket made out of our jackets for a few hours
>Suddenly cops pull into lot because its like 3 AM and we are the only car within a mile
>Oh fuck
>crawl into front seat and drive off both of us totally nude

Was a good night.
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1 Week ago went to motel with 6/10 lady we aré both drunk, Hsr passes out, i go down on her and she gets her period on my mouth. Go to bathroom, spit that shit out and wash the blood of my goatee, get back to anonete and fuck her feet while she is pased out. No regrets....
holy shit thank you for reviving my hope for /b/

>came inside a dead girl
thats my fetish
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It's live
it's free
Ok i've got a pretty weird one.

>A couple of years ago, hadn't had any for a long while and started to get desperate
>Go to craigslist
>Find an older bird, 35ish, but not bad looking
>Chat her up, and shes up for some fun, go there the next weekend
>Get there and she greets me in the door in sexy lingerie and a champagne glass
>Go into the living room, a guy sits there
>Turns out, it's her fucking husband, and he does NOT look happy
>Really started to weigh my options here, the woman was pretty damn fine, but im not really to fond of dicks, and she did not mention this while we chated
>Sit down and have awkward as fuck small talk, she looks like shes enjoying herself, he looks pissed, and i can not remember being more uncomfortable in my life
>Guy asks me if i would mind stepping into the other room (which happened to be the bedroom) while he talked with his wife
>Go in and sit on the bed, watch tv while i pet their cat
>Hear arguing from the living room, which then tuned into yelling
>Hear a door slam
>In comes the lady
>"My husband cheated on me, so this is how we are going to settle the score, you are going to fuck me"
>O-ok m-mam
>She goes over to her nightstand and digs out some pot
>We smoke it while touching each other
>High as shit, i forgot all about this weird setting and we fucked like rabbits for several hours
>Go to sleep
>Get woken up in the middle of the night by lights turned on
>It's her husband, and hes drunk as fuck (i guess he went to a bar)
>I guess he didn't have a bat lying around, so he had armed himself with a lamp
>"Get out of my bed you punk"
>Grab my shit and leave in a hurry
>Drive home
what a kid
fraid to cum inside all cause of no condom

I hate ur life little boy
u havin a micro-dick dud?
in my case, yes
last minute or planned ahead
yeah, i made her take the babykillin pill (morning after)
Treat every day like a blessing, you hit the fucking jackpot.
>Be 23
>Doing 36 months in state prison
>Guy approaches me in common room
>We starts talking asks me where i'm from etc.
>Gives me cigs and candy bars
>Thanks bro!
>Few days later he comes by with a friend
>"I'm here to collect."
>Not sure what he meant
>Wants carton of cigs and 2 grams of weed
>Don't have it
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how's the jelly treating ya?
coincidentally, I was in the RLD some time ago looking at the girls, some were really nice. What do they cost? Do you have experience?
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>be me
>with ex girlfriend
<eating her out because she deserves it
>quiffs in my face
She was an armpit sniffer, got her to dress up in her Halloween costume, sexy Peter Pan sex.
oh man
>He wants my ass, literally
>Nothing else i could do
>I get on my knees and he slowly pulls down pants
>He was already hard as his dick flops out
>Give it a long lick and start sucking the head
>Then the shaft
>He starts moaning
>I found out i love cock and am insanely turned on
>I start blowing his friend
>Start blowing them back and forth
>"Get up bitch"
>I get up and he bends be over
>He slowly sticks head of cock in my asshole stretching it
>Hurt at first then it felt amazing
>He's grabbing my ass and fucking me from behind
>Friend came over and slowly rubbed cock head on my lips start sucking him
>Just fucking and sucking until i feel his cock start to stiffen up in my ass
>"I'm about to cum faggot"
>Guy i'm blowing is moaning hard
>Everyone is breathing heavy
>Intense moan as cock head swells up and fills my ass with cum and his friend fills my mouth
>As they cum in me i have the best orgasm in my life covering the floor in my cum
> First gay experience
>Weirdest and best sex in my life
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There's more to this, Anon. A lady never queefs in her lord's face without some major cause. You started posting on 4chan and three months later your ex girlfriend queefed in your face. There's a connection.
>girl want to do anal
>starts ok if slow
>get my dick all in her shit
>she still gave me a bj

pretty much the weirdest thing, once i thought this would be disgusting, but i gotta say once you are in the moment its all fun and games
there is a whole long story related to this, but im to lazy to type it
underated post. kekked.
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> "making out with this chick hardcore"
Barely made it 3/4ths through your story and I can tell you're like 16
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She farted right before we were getting started. There was blood.

makin it short
>at a party
>me and girlfriend walk up into a bedroom
>we start fucking
>my friend walks in on us
>girlfriend asks him if he want to join
>I say it's ok.. for some reason
>we start fucking
>without condoms
>he creampies in her pussy
>I didnt even cum
This isn't a "share your fantasy" thread faggot
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i lol'ed
you ungrateful asshole
>Pregnant + drinking
I hope you killed her with your dick
Thread replies: 187
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