Hey /b/, my best friend died earlier in the month.
Let's have a feel good thread. I thought about a baww thread but honestly, To sit here and cry for weeks on end is an insult to his memory. So instead, I'm going to tell you about the greatest man I ever knew.
It started in 2002, for me. For him this story has already been on going for 4 years.
I was a college kid working a shitty part time job for extra cash since mommy and daddy paid my tuition. I smoked a joint after my shift and decided I was going to go to A&W.
The first time I saw John, he was sitting in the back corner of A&W, crying silently, slowly munching on some fries. He looked like he was one spilt drink away from blowing his brains out.
I sat down and started eating, but something about him was bugging me. I mean, something must be fucked up if the dude is sitting in an A&W at midnight crying. So I got up and sat at his table.
I said something to the effect of "rough night, huh?" And he sighed and nodded and wiped his eyes. We made small talk, and I noticed he kept staring at this picture on his phone of two little girls.
When we finished eating I invited him out to the bar, since it looked like he could use a drink. Over a couple of beers he spilt the beans. He got a girl knocked up, she had twins. The mom's new boyfriend is a drug dealer and alcoholic and she's an enabler, so he applied to have full custody of his twin girls, and lost. She responded by applying herself, and won. This woman took the only things that John cared about and ripped them out of his life, for no reason other than spite.
We exchanged numbers and I promised to keep in touch. He turned out to be a really cool dude. He was a year younger than me, 20 when I met him, but fuck he was so damn smart, like a genius.
He was at the end of the line, but I resolved to help the guy. And over the course of 3 months, we began close friends. He fired his lawyer and hired a new one, someone who was better at the job.
The lawyer negotiated with the courts. Said that the girls had been uprooted from their lives, all their friends and most of their family lived near John, they were suffering, ect.
John was given primary custody, during weekdays. His ex girlfriend got the twins during weekends, but we could deal with that.
In those days it really was one day at a time. But he raised those kids well. For my part, I introduced him to my circle of friends. they took to him like moths to a light. But wherever he went, the kids went. He didn't believe in babysitters. He was their dad and it was his duty to bond with his children. So most of the time he came to chill with us, he brought the kids.
The guys all complained at first, even I did. But those girls were well behaved, and he didn't mind us chiming off the occasional curse word, so we slowly began to accept their presence in our lives.
John and his ex fought a lot, mostly because she was a cunt. Her boyfriend swore and got aggressively angry at the twins, for almost no reason. John said they misbehaved a lot while they were there. There was drug use and verbal abuse going on, but instead of killing the fuck like I know he wanted to, he played it smart. And by the summer of 2004, he had full custody.
The mom was deemed an unfit parent, and moved away with her boyfriend. Last I heard she produced 3 more kids.
But that was just one part of his life. John was a man devoted to his children. He went to college and started working even harder.
His friends, OUR friends, were a bunch of goofy college kids but John taught us so much. He was a shining example, he was infinitely good, even when it was hard or inconvenient to be so. He was always so much fun to have around, him and the kids brought us so many laughs. And as we got more used to them, we welcomed him to more and more things.
He wanted them to be raised right, so he made sure they understood the importance of art. Those girls drew, painted, wrote, sang, built or created something every day. They ran around, played and got exercise.
He worked out, and talked to them and me about all kinds of philosophical shit, taught them to think critically, to be proud and independent, intelligent and creative. And it paid off.
Give me like 5 minutes, sorry. Shit there is just so much to say, I can't even think of what to say next lol
I remember how much those kids loved hanging around us, they would play video games with us, laugh with us, and we, the guys, even the ones who hated kids, they would play with them.
And our group would go to their dance recitals, concerts, their soccer and softball games, it began to be our thing. I'm sure it looked pretty weird, 7 20-something year old men going to the park or going to children's games with two little girls, but we didn't care.
John always said he was ok not having another parent, since between all of us guys we did a good job of raising them with him.
He always gave them his full attention, he taught them to be polite but to always be themselves, no matter how silly that may be. And there were times we would see him and he'd have hot pink nail polish or braided hair or something else because of his girls.
>This year I have recorded an album (my producer is an amazing multi-instrumentalist, and he was my music teacher in high school), wrote a collection of love poems and currently completing my 75-80k word novel.
>My gf knew I had to leave to get all this done. Leave distractions like (supportive) parents wanting me to get a full-time job, temptations of an expensive city, laziness and apathy.
>So I moved to a different country (airfare was only $200 one way).
Now I'm almost with my novel, it's been over four months since I've last seen my gf. We don't talk very often cuz she's a workaholic (once a month, 20mins each call isn't much, but it's part of our dynamics that works for us), so I don't think she thinks of me that much but I seemed more of a distraction when I was with her a few days before I left. So when we do talk I hold back on saying how much I miss her and how I think of her everyday.
I miss you and I love you, my polar bear baby. xxx
>tl;dr miss gf that I left for a few months to be an artist/writer
>I miss you and I love you, my polar bear baby. xxx
Ha, I just remembered their 7th birthday. By this point the twins were developing different personalities.
Michelle was into mechanics and technology, like computers and stuff, Isabella developed a love for movies and sports.
Around that time John was pretty low on cash. He couldn't afford a lot of presents, so the guys and I chipped in, one present for each girl from each of us, John didn't know so he was really when we came over! The kids loved their gifts but we had one more surprise.
I told the twins it was something from all of us, but I was giving it to their dad so he could use it on them. And then I handed it to John. We all chipped in as much as we could, and ended up with 1000$ cash for him. He tried to refuse but we told him, those girls are ours, all of ours, we're in this together and we won't let him do this alone.
(Still more) you guys feel free to contribute other feel good stories, I'm sure mines not exactly riveting.
so what is the cause of death of your friend ?tell us so we can go to lurk somewhere else
The kids grew up around us, and we really did think of them as family. Sometimes we would babysit them without John, pick them up from school or just chill out with them. I would introduce them as my nieces, and once they even helped me get a girls number.
For John's part, he was hell bent on teaching them that you can be good and it pays off. So he helped as many people as he could, and he made sure his girls saw him do it. He volunteered, he took care of the elderly, he helped the homeless, and not like "here's a few quarters" kind of help, he bought them food. He advocated for gay rights, stood up to mysogynist pricks, everything he could. And he did it without yelling or being a dick.
I remember one strange woman told him his girls would grow up to be strippers or prostitutes because they have no mother, but he didn't tell her to fuck off, which would have been so easy and it's no more than she deserved.
He simply turned to her and said "so?" He pointed out that they have self respect and dignity and they answer to no one, not him, and least of all some judgemental sexist stranger. The strength of that man was mesmerizing.
(More) thanks for the encouragement everyone, I know it's boring to listen to me rant but I just need to get it out, and talk about the happy things.
>I remember one strange woman told him his girls would grow up to be strippers or prostitutes because they have no mother
Dumb bitch got it the wrong way around, everybody know it's when they have no father they grow up to be strippers.
Sorry for the short one here I'm sort of running around.
I can't tell you how many girls he turned down over the years. He didn't want to have flings. He didn't want to introduce a woman to his girls and then have than woman leave. So he was careful.
One time, he told us that he was taking the girls to an amusement part, and that he was terrified of heights but we would go on anything they wanted anyways. We went with him and took the kids on the rides he was scared of, and backed him up, and it turned out to be a great day for all of us.
He always taught his kids the importance of nature, which led to them having a love of animals and outdoors stuff. He started a vegetable garden with the girls. Michelle took to it right away, Isabella didn't really like it. But instead we got Bella a kitten to take care of. That, she really loved. By the time they were 12, their house had 2 dogs, a cat, Bella's snake and guinea pig and Michelle's turtles. John got them big dogs and I had my friend give them police dog training. John wanted them to protect his girls. They were a pair of shepherds.
John wasn't a fan of cats or snakes for that matter, but it didn't matter to him. I fucking hated that damn snake, and Bella would always scare me with it. Stupid fucking reptile.
The 10 of us, including my then girlfriend now soon to be wife, were inseparable. Even though the kids had their own friends they still spent a lot of time with us, we were their friends/family.
And every boy they brought home had to pass the dad test to be upgraded to boyfriend!
They were and are popular with the boys, to my dismay. They play sports and eat healthy so they both have kickass bodies and are quite beautiful. But they are smart and don't let boys hurt them. In fact, Isabella Turned out to be a bit of a heartbreaker herself.
They have the maturity and wisdom of their father. He taught them, AND me to have perspective. All of their teachers say talking to them is like talking to an adult. They do research and keep up with what matters. They were the ones who taught me about the war in Syria.
They also inherited his fondness for doing charitable acts, Isabella and her friends volunteer at the old folks home and Michelle goes to the soup kitchen on weekends.
They value family and have never blown off family for friends.
I just remembered something cool that we did. We all love urban exploration and do stuff like that on occasion. One time there was a school under construction. The walls were up but the inside was unfinished and there were no stairs to the second floor.
The kids and John came with us, they were 8. We broke into the construction site at night and climbed up to the second floor and had a bit of a slumber party up there, the adults drank and the kids climbed.
John and I sat with the girls at 1 AM and pointed out constellations until they fell asleep. It was a good memory. I recall us pointing out the Big Dipper and Michelle going "Thats not a spoon its a star!"
I'm really sorry for your loss, he seems like a great man. Thank you for sharing his story with us, I know that it's made me want to be a better person. Why is it that the good always die young?
>mfw the girls outlive their father
Seriously thought, great story op. My condolences to you and your friends for your loss.
Quick, everyone post necrophilia while OP is typing to show your respect by not letting the thread die
Honestly when I started this thread I had no intention of saying how he died. But since you all took this journey with me, I guess we're in this together, right to the end.
He was supposed to be the best man at my wedding but yeah. It wasn't anything dramatic or horrible, it was just a simple accident, nothing more.
The guy just wasn't paying attention. Slammed into John's car. He was rushed to the hospital. I wish I could say we got to have a good talk, say goodbye, have our emotional last moments, but we didn't. Our last conversation was about chips. Not very profound. And then he just... Slipped away.
It's funny, immediately after he died I wasn't too broken up, I was busy with funeral arrangements, that kind of thing. But the day after the funeral was the worst day of my life.
I forgave the guy who killed John. It was hard, I was just so angry. But that's what John would have wanted, he was not a spiteful man.
John's parents are their technical legal guardians, but my fiancée and I are taking the girls. His parents are too old and we are more prepared anyways.
I've been taking care of his stupid vegetable garden for him. We aren't sure what to do with the house. I've been thinking of paying the bills and leaving it to the kids for when they grow up, but I don't know.
John, you are my brother and I love you so fucking much man. You taught me everything I value today. You made me the man I am today. Don't worry about Michelle and Isabella, they will be fine. It will be good practice for Sue and I, and they can help us. I never got to tell you, Sue is pregnant. We found out the day before you died.
I'm going to be just like you, I'm going to give my kid a great life. Well, he'll have two older sisters to look out for him. I don't know why but I feel like the baby will be a boy.
Again, I'm really sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you were able to forgive him. And I'm glad the two of you are going to take care of them, you'll do a great job. Thanks OP for sharing John's story with us, I can tell he meant a lot to you, and I know his story has inspired a number of people on here to be more like him, myself included. Good luck in all your future endeavors, congrats on the wedding and the baby!
On the bright side I feel relief to know the girls will be staying with you and your wife, I'm sure you'll do a great job steping up as their guardian, John will always be remembered and be in our anonymous hearts. His teaching leave on and will be taught through you, be strong and be happy.
RIP John, the most magnificent bastard OP has ever met.
This is so profoundly beautiful in a way. John's legacy continues on through you, his daughters, and your future children. People like him never truly die, a man's legacy is the key to immortality.
The Story of John, for those who are to lazy to cap it themselves, because a great man such as him must not be forgotten.
well that last post did it for me. fml right now
Hey m8 :) :D
It is great to see you on the net, and I am happy to talk with you bro. Remember, things ALWAYS GET BETTER :)
1. Forget about all the bad stuff, forget about anything negative.
2. Make yourself a nice hot Chocolate or a green tea.
3. Get some food ready that makes you feel good (or something nice to eat).
4. Get some blankets and a pillow.
5. Get cozy and snug. (as snug as a bug in a rug hehe :P )
Now, listen to this song: (turn volume up,headphones preferred)
I am here for you, in fact all good people are, all of us, we love you.
NOW BROTHER, PICTURE YOURSELF with us in a beautiful field filled with yellow flowers, we are all running together and laughing in this beautiful field of yellow flowers, all of us, we are one person in all. We are all in love,calm,happy,feel good,soft this warmth. something special, we are all but mostly you are needed, we need you in this field, and now you are.
YEAH BABY, WE LOVE YOU. LETS GO :)))))
Just relax :)
happy,calm,love,peace,connection,smile,happy,laugh,etc its all of it all together.
LISTEN TO THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqO-FYUjuMw
Ignore all the nasty people ... you & we are not like them, forget about them.
come on with me bro, I will let you into a little secrete...
now close your eyes pleasee (heha hey you no peaking heha ;P :) ;) )---
now, think of a field on a beautiful day, the field is filled with beautiful yellow flowers, and all of the good people, we all are here and we are all so warm and feel the warmth to each other, the love to all, the love to you, I am sending you love right now from Ireland. (weather its visitable or not), I FEEL my soul sending some love to you in the usa, its there I feel the warm love to you, I love you brother ;)))
be happy with us all be friends, we are :)
good friend happy warm calm :))